The One With Tim and Lisa Dekay

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The One With Tim and Lisa Dekay" from For Love & Chocolate

Introduction

In the December 18, 2024 episode of For Love & Chocolate, hosts Tommy and Tara Gallop, known affectionately as Mr. and Mrs. Truffles, welcome their inaugural guests, Tim and Lisa Dekay. Produced by Tara Gallop, Tommy Gallop, and Adam Haagen, this episode celebrates enduring love intertwined with the sweet allure of Swiss chocolate, embodying the podcast's core themes.

Hosts' Background and Podcast Vision

Tommy and Tara begin by sharing their journey as proprietors of Beverly Hills Toy, a prestigious Swiss Chocolate company with a 43-year legacy in Beverly Hills. They emphasize the natural synergy between love and chocolate, highlighting how chocolates often serve as meaningful gifts that foster connections and create lasting memories.

Tommy Gallup ([01:00]): "We've learned that love and chocolate really seem to go hand in hand. They really do like peanut butter and jelly."

The hosts explain that their podcast aims to delve into the nuances of love by showcasing stories from couples who have sustained their relationships over decades. Their goal is to explore how love evolves, the challenges it faces, and the sweet moments that keep it thriving.

Addressing Relationship Concerns: The Mailbag Segment

Before introducing their guests, Tommy and Tara address listener questions, offering advice on various relationship dilemmas. A notable query comes from a 35-year-old man in finance who struggles with the financial expectations of dating, particularly regarding who should pay the bill.

Tommy Gallup ([05:16]): "You have to open the door for her. You have to compliment her. You have to be attentive. You've got to be making eye contact. You've got to be a good listener."

Tommy advocates for traditional dating roles, encouraging men to cover the bill on first dates as a gesture of respect and intention. Tara supports this viewpoint, emphasizing that such actions demonstrate a man's commitment and desire to take care of his partner.

Guest Introduction: Tim and Lisa Dekay

The spotlight shifts to the episode's guests, Tim and Lisa Dekay, whom Tommy has known for over 35 years. Tim, a successful actor recognized for roles in White Collar, Seinfeld, and other HBO shows, and Lisa, his lifelong partner, embody a relationship filled with mutual respect, love, and shared history.

Tommy Gallup ([12:10]): "Tim and Lisa Dekay, who I've known for now 30 plus years... they are pure love in that their romance is a story that needs to be told."

The Dekays' Love Story

Tim and Lisa recount their meeting during graduate school at Rutgers University in 1987. Initially scene partners in an acting class, their friendship gradually blossomed into a deep romantic connection. A defining moment occurred on Halloween when Tim spontaneously kissed Lisa in the bathroom, leading to an immediate and profound bond.

Lisa Takei ([20:12]): "I was in the bathroom putting on lipstick, and the door was open and he came in, shut the door, spun me around and kissed me. And I was shocked. He was shocked."

This unexpected kiss in the middle of their acting program marked the beginning of their enduring relationship, which has now spanned over three decades.

The Proposal: A Theatrical Gesture

Tim shares the heartfelt story of how he proposed to Lisa during a production at the Glimmerglass Opera in Cooperstown. Incorporating elements from the play Casey at the Bat, Tim staged a surprise proposal on stage, blending his passion for acting with his love for Lisa.

Tim Decay ([25:27]): "I was able to... ask her up there. And she had come to visit me. We were there for a couple weeks... I had the stage manager leave the house lights kind of like halfway dim."

The proposal was a magical moment witnessed by the cast and crew, solidifying their commitment to one another.

Sustaining Long-Term Love

The conversation delves into the secrets behind Tim and Lisa's lasting marriage. Both attribute their enduring love to a blend of humor, teamwork, consistent small acts of kindness, and unwavering support for each other.

Lisa Takei ([31:08]): "We do lots of sweet little things for each other that they may seem silly and small, but... Every time one of us would travel for work, we would leave notes in each other's suitcases."

Tommy Gallup ([32:31]): "It's how I can be my authentic self 100% of the time with her. Right. Warts and all. She just... she knows. And she's still, after all of that, she still loves me."

Advice for Young Couples

When asked for advice, Tim and Lisa emphasize the importance of maintaining physical intimacy and continuous affection.

Tim Decay ([31:23]): "Don't ever stop making out. Lisa is the best kisser ever."

They also highlight the significance of being a supportive team, communicating openly, and expressing love through everyday actions to keep the relationship vibrant and resilient.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode concludes, Tommy and Tara express their heartfelt gratitude to Tim and Lisa for sharing their inspiring love story. They celebrate the couple's journey with gift bags featuring their signature champagne truffles and other chocolate delicacies, reinforcing the podcast's theme of celebrating love with sweet gestures.

Tommy Gallup ([36:16]): "Anyway, I'm really grateful that we're doing this. I'm really happy about it. I think this first show was so much fun."

The episode wraps up with reflections on the beauty of long-term love and the joy of sharing such meaningful stories with their audience.

Notable Quotes

• Tommy Gallup ([01:00]): "We've learned that love and chocolate really seem to go hand in hand. They really do like peanut butter and jelly."
• Tommy Gallup ([05:16]): "You have to open the door for her. You have to compliment her. You have to be attentive. You've got to be making eye contact. You've got to be a good listener."
• Tim Decay ([20:12]): "I was in the bathroom putting on lipstick, and the door was open and he came in, shut the door, spun me around and kissed me."
• Lisa Takei ([31:08]): "We do lots of sweet little things for each other that they may seem silly and small."
• Tommy Gallup ([32:31]): "It's how I can be my authentic self 100% of the time with her. Right. Warts and all."

Key Takeaways

• The Power of Small Gestures: Consistent, thoughtful actions strengthen bonds and maintain romance in long-term relationships.
• Authenticity and Communication: Being genuine and maintaining open lines of communication are crucial for enduring love.
• Balancing Passion and Support: Integrating personal passions with mutual support creates a harmonious and resilient partnership.

This episode of For Love & Chocolate beautifully illustrates how enduring love is nurtured through attention, authenticity, and sweet gestures, all while celebrating the deep connection between love and chocolate.

Transcript

[Tommy Gallup]

From deep in the heart of Beverly Hills, you found For Love and chocolate with Mr. And Mrs. Truffles.

[Tara Gallup]

Good morning. Welcome to the podcast.

[Tommy Gallup]

Welcome to the podcast.

[Tara Gallup]

We are Tommy and Tara Gallup, also known as Mr. And Mrs. Truffles.

[Tommy Gallup]

Mr. And Mrs. Truffbles, that's right.

[Tara Gallup]

And we are here to talk to you about love and chocolate, because we.

[Tommy Gallup]

Know a little bit about both. Yeah, you know, it's. It's very exciting. It's almost like being at Cape Canaveral readying for the launch of Atlantis. Whatever it was that they were.

[Tara Gallup]

That's not the one that blew up.

[Tommy Gallup]

Okay. Jesus. No, no, we're not watching Challenger take off. What is wrong with you? No, but this is exciting. This is our podcast.

[Tara Gallup]

This is our life.

[Tommy Gallup]

We are the proud owners of Beverly Hills Toy. Sure. A Swiss Chocolate Co. 92 years in the making. We're one of 14 stores in the world, and we're there in the heart of Beverly Hills. It's been there for 43 years now. We personally owned it for five years. And it's just been a real passion play for us, hasn't it?

[Tara Gallup]

We've learned that love and chocolate really seem to go hand in hand.

[Tommy Gallup]

They really do like peanut butter and jelly.

[Tara Gallup]

So many people come in buying gifts for loved ones, for the special someone in their lives. We've heard so many beautiful stories.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yeah. And just people seem to have a real visceral reaction and a connection with our chocolate. There's always some story, and it's almost always based around love. There's a love theme. And that was kind of the seminal moment where you figured, you know what, this would make a beautiful podcast. If we could just talk to people about their origin story, how they fell in love, what love means to them, how they've kept it going all these years, and maybe how chocolate played a part in it.

[Tara Gallup]

Yeah. It's really been a journey. And we have heard so many sweet, moving, lovely stories.

[Tommy Gallup]

We do. I mean, I feel like part of it, it's just. It's kind of built in, because when people come into the shop, they're already happy. I mean, they're coming in to buy chocolate. Right. So if we can elevate that experience a little bit more, well, then it just. It's a joy. I mean, it's a joy to come to the shop every day, but it's really a joy doing it with you. It's so interesting how this all came about for us. How the shop came about.

[Tara Gallup]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you have been working in Hollywood for 30 years as an actor. And I don't think any of those roles were ever as a chocolatier, were they? It was a role that you hadn't prepared for.

[Tommy Gallup]

Maybe one that I was meant to.

[Tara Gallup]

Play, but definitely one you were meant to play.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tara Gallup]

We have really gotten to know so many personal, lovely love stories, and we have so much fun with everybody. We just kind of wanted to bring some of that magic.

[Tommy Gallup]

That was. What was the. Maybe the impetus for you to say to me, hey, we need to do this. We need to have a podcast.

[Tara Gallup]

We really. We really want to share some of this. I mean, there is just so much joy and magic going on in that little shop, and it should be shared.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yeah. And so this podcast is really designed to introduce you, our listeners, to couples that have been together for 10, 20, 30 years and hearing their origin stories. What was that moment when you first met? When did you know you were in love? What was that courtship like? How do you keep it going? How do you keep it alive? How do you keep it. How do you keep the spark going? How do you keep the sizzle going?

[Tara Gallup]

How they keep it going? And what advice do they have for others?

[Tommy Gallup]

Yeah, I mean, like, you and I, we met later in life, didn't we? A little later, a little bit later. And I mean, oh, girl, the sizzle is there every day.

[Tara Gallup]

Yeah, it's an ongoing courtship because you make it fun. You make me laugh all the time. And in addition to that, we want to help other people who maybe haven't found love yet to find love. We hear the single girls complaining. We hear the guys, well, just yesterday, a gentleman was in. He's like, how do I get a girl to really, like, notice me in that way? You know, like, people ask us. And. And I had some advice for him, but he wasn't listening.

[Tommy Gallup]

That have anything to do with champagne truffles?

[Tara Gallup]

Yeah, it did.

[Tommy Gallup]

It did.

[Tara Gallup]

That was a starter, for sure. I don't think he understood that, but.

[Tommy Gallup]

We can put it out there. We can't make him.

[Tara Gallup]

Can lead a horse to water.

[Tommy Gallup]

That's exactly right.

[Tara Gallup]

And we welcome your questions.

[Tommy Gallup]

Mailbag. Ever since we put it out there and we asked our listeners and friends and family to just shoot us questions, love questions, relationship questions, so that we could maybe dissect them and try to just give them a kernel of hope and love and truth.

[Tara Gallup]

We are the Dear Abby of love and chocolate.

[Tommy Gallup]

It's so true. So, without further ado, what's our first.

[Tara Gallup]

What's our first laundry?

[Tommy Gallup]

Okay, well, let's go to the bag here.

[Tara Gallup]

All right.

[Tommy Gallup]

Okay. Dear Mr. And Mrs. Truffles, I'm a 35 year old man. I work in finance and I do okay, but I've been going on a lot of dates, mostly with women I meet online. And it's pretty expensive to pick up the check every time. Is it okay to expect the dates to chip in? Some of my friends are saying they split the bills on their dates. Signed some guy on the west side. Well, I've got a very strong opinion of this. Some guy on the west side. What's wrong with you, man? Come on. Got a man up? Your friends that split the bills. Oh, I bet those losers are still single, too. No, you can't do that. Sorry. Can't split the bill. Sorry if it's old school, but when you are taking a lady out for the first time, you must treat her like a goddess. There's no dissing, no naysaying, no negging. They say the neg, right?

[Tara Gallup]

I don't know about that.

[Tommy Gallup]

Well, that's another story. Another time. But you have to open the door for her. You have to compliment her. You have to be attentive. You've got to be making eye contact. You've got to be a good listener. And God, for God's sake, man, pick up the check. Pick up the check or you are destined for a lifelong friendship.

[Tara Gallup]

Yeah, you gotta pick up the check. Look, you know what? People are wired a certain way. People don't change, you know? And men are supposed to pick up the check.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yep.

[Tara Gallup]

It's their way of showing their intentions, their respect that they're gonna take care of you.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yep.

[Tara Gallup]

They're gonna provide for you.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yeah.

[Tara Gallup]

I think it's really important to adhere to certain traditions. Yeah. If you're looking for love, you know, if you're just looking to have as many fun dates as you can in a short amount of time, then. And you're not interested in finding love. Well, you know, poor you. Because you're missing out on the best thing in life. But also, you know, I guess you could go ahead and ask them to split the bill, but it's not going anywhere.

[Tommy Gallup]

This doesn't feel.

[Tara Gallup]

And if it does go anywhere, it's not going to be as good as it could be.

[Tommy Gallup]

It's not gonna be as sexy as it could be. Right.

[Tara Gallup]

No hard pass on that.

[Tommy Gallup]

I don't think I asked you to.

[Tara Gallup]

Some guy on the west side. You are some guy.

[Tommy Gallup]

I don't think I asked you to pick up the bill until I never Have, Have I?

[Tara Gallup]

No, no, no.

[Tommy Gallup]

Okay, well, I think this is the home stretch. Are you ready for this one?

[Tara Gallup]

Oh, yeah.

[Tommy Gallup]

Dear Mr. And Mrs. Truffles, my spouse and I have been married for two years and it seems like the sparkle has been fading. This has given me anxiety. This is my first marriage and his third. Is this normal? Well, Mrs. Truffles is someone who's been married many, many, many times.

[Tara Gallup]

I have been married more than me, than you have. I mean, to be fair, I was widowed at a young age, so that's. But what I can say is I do, I do know about, you know, the regular. I mean, I've had a lot of relationships. That's part of where I draw my expertise from, is not only from my successes, but from my failures. Sure, sure. We all do. And I would say that relationships can start to fade if they start to become. Mundane.

[Tommy Gallup]

I was going to say mundane.

[Tara Gallup]

Yeah, yeah. If a relationship starts to become a little mundane, you know, and also kind of take a look at what you're doing, you know, how do you spend the time when you're with your, your spouse? Are you spending that time airing your, you know, just, just your grievances and your complaints? Are you nagging? Are you looking for ways for them to do things for you? Maybe don't forget to try to always keep it sexy. Yeah, I would say that, you know what, the day in and day out in your relationship should all just be like one long foreplay, you know, where you're just constantly trying to romance each other and put a smile on one another's faces. If the bloom is coming off the rose, then maybe a little self reflection on what you could do differently. I think that it's like when the dog trainer comes over, he didn't really teach the dog to do anything. He teaches you.

[Tommy Gallup]

He does.

[Tara Gallup]

You know, this is about how you can get your husband to do things differently. This is about how you can do things differently to create a different atmosphere with your husband.

[Tommy Gallup]

I mean, case in point. I take great joy out of making you a perfect cappuccino every morning. And I do it with all the love I can give because I know it just feeds you. And you do so many sweet unspoken things for me every day that I.

[Tara Gallup]

Say, last night I made you a heart shaped cookie.

[Tommy Gallup]

You did. It was delicious and it was shaped like a heart. Fantastic. But it's those little things that, you know, you're talking about being in this relationship for a couple years and the sparkle seems to have gone. It's like, well, I think to Mrs. Truffles point. Surprise him. Do something out of the ordinary. Something special. Surprise yourself.

[Tara Gallup]

I would say that every time you see him, just kind of rub him behind the ear a little bit and tell him what a good boy he is.

[Tommy Gallup]

And pat him and spank his ass, whatever.

[Tara Gallup]

Just rub his tummy.

[Tommy Gallup]

Get it going. Girlfriend.

[Tara Gallup]

Tail wagging again.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yeah. Oh, I'm getting all hot and bothered here. I think we're. Can we sign off now? I think it's nap time.

[Tara Gallup]

It might be nap time.

[Tommy Gallup]

Can we talk a little bit about our first guest? Because it's so exciting, guys. Our first show. Our first guest. Well, I don't know if we could have hit a bigger grand slam. I've known Tim and Lisa for now over 35 years.

[Tara Gallup]

It's super exciting.

[Tommy Gallup]

Tim Takei, Lisa Decay, who I met in my early 20s and who Tim. I've just known and loved both Lisa and Tim for so many years. We were in each other's weddings. And Tim is a very successful actor. A lot of our listeners will know him from White Collar and Seinfeld and Tell Me youe Love Me and Carnival. All these HBO shows. Never stops working. But also, just the two of them together are such pure love. I mean, they've started it and kept it going all these years. And I've never seen them not be madly in love with each other. I mean, it's just. It's really beautiful.

[Tara Gallup]

And how could they not be madly in love with each other? They're both so lovely and delightful.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yeah, they really are.

[Tara Gallup]

Yeah. And we'll be right back with Tim and Lisa takei.

[Tommy Gallup]

For over 40 years, Toysher has been a staple in the Beverly Hills community. Like so many other families in the community, our family has had a long standing love affair with Teuther chocolates. Over the years, we formed traditions and memories around these extraordinary Swiss chocolates and the enchanting wonderland of fantasy truffle boxes inside our store. Today, our family is proud to be carrying on the Teuther tradition in Beverly Hills. Okay, everybody, welcome back to the show. We're really excited. I mean, we're always excited, aren't we, sweetheart?

[Tara Gallup]

We're pretty excited, yeah.

[Tommy Gallup]

But today we are fortunate enough to have literally my dearest friends, maybe in the whole world, Tim and Lisa. Tim Decay and Lisa Takei, who I've known for now 30 plus years.

[Tim Decay]

30 plus years.

[Tommy Gallup]

Oh, my God.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah.

[Tommy Gallup]

And I try not to use too much hyperbole, but these two are pure love in that their romance is a story that needs to be told. I've known them forever. And in many cases, when you're with a couple, there's one that you prefer over the other. Just not the case of anything. I actually prefer Lisa, even though I've known Tim longer. But they're just a joy to be around and so much fun. And I'm so happy that they agreed to come with us.

[Tara Gallup]

Yeah, I can't wait to hear how you met. So tell us, how did you two first.

[Tim Decay]

Well, we're honored to be here, first of all, to be part of this wonderful, I don't know, kind of adventure into romance and chocolate.

[Tommy Gallup]

That's fair.

[Tim Decay]

Podcast. Yeah.

[Lisa Takei]

Very exciting.

[Tim Decay]

We met in grad school. We. 1987. We went to Rutgers University and we were first year grad students. And at the time, I think I might have been dating somebody. I know. Lisa was.

[Lisa Takei]

You were. Her name was Deborah.

[Tommy Gallup]

Oh, okay.

[Tim Decay]

Well, she was an older woman.

[Tommy Gallup]

Oh, wow. So Tim and his cougar. Go on.

[Tim Decay]

Anywho, I walked in the classroom and there was this hot girl with short shorts that said ASU on them. And she had an as. Like it was an outfit. It was a tank top, matching.

[Tommy Gallup]

And you're in grad school now?

[Tim Decay]

Grad school. Grad school. But still, I had gone to small, upstate, provincial, lovely college, but I led a fairly provincial life. And so when I saw this girl from Arizona.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yeah, boy, I know.

[Tim Decay]

That is.

[Tommy Gallup]

Wow. Well, usually they're on, like, the top of the hottest girls in college. You know what?

[Tim Decay]

You're right. But I didn't even think of that. But had I known that, I would have said yes. Case in point, right there.

[Lisa Takei]

Too kind. I have to say, looking back.

[Tommy Gallup]

You don't remember him.

[Lisa Takei]

Arizona, big hair. No. I look back at those photos of us. Your hair was large. Florida, Arizona. We do big hair. New Jersey. And we do it well.

[Tommy Gallup]

Oh. So were you when you were wearing your dolphin shorts and your ASU and.

[Lisa Takei]

My big hair crop top and your.

[Tommy Gallup]

Big hair, were you thinking, I mean, you were thinking, I'm in grad school. I'm here to really hone in on my craft.

[Lisa Takei]

Oh, yes, I was very serious.

[Tommy Gallup]

But was there a. Was there a part of you that said, you know what, you were dating a guy at that point? Yes or no?

[Tim Decay]

Yeah, I. Lionel. You were dating.

[Lisa Takei]

Oh, we'd broken up.

[Tim Decay]

Oh, well, we broken up.

[Tommy Gallup]

You were single and ready to mingle.

[Lisa Takei]

Oh, yes. Because I started dating Rob.

[Tim Decay]

Oh, right. No last names. Oh, no, you're right, you're right, you're right. I was completely My apologies.

[Lisa Takei]

Single.

[Tommy Gallup]

I was single.

[Lisa Takei]

You were not.

[Tommy Gallup]

Oh, you were with the older woman.

[Lisa Takei]

But could I back up for a second?

[Tommy Gallup]

Sure.

[Lisa Takei]

Because this just dawned on me. Is this not true, Tim? That the only reason you and I even ever met was because, Tommy, you did not take your spot at Rutgers and decided to go to nyu, and you told me Bill Esper called you up and said, there's a spot available, and Tim took it.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah.

[Lisa Takei]

So look at this. Full circle.

[Tim Decay]

This is full circle because Tommy and I had met that summer prior. We met at Shakespeare & Co. The summer prior in the Berkshires, which.

[Lisa Takei]

Is where he met the cougar.

[Tim Decay]

And. Yeah, that's where we met. So. Okay.

[Tommy Gallup]

Oh, my God, I'm blushing. For you. Anyway. Yeah.

[Lisa Takei]

So how incredible is that?

[Tommy Gallup]

That is crazy. Yeah.

[Lisa Takei]

And I just remembered that right now.

[Tommy Gallup]

Sliding doors, right?

[Tara Gallup]

Yes.

[Tommy Gallup]

I mean, if not for that, you and I could be married, Lisa.

[Lisa Takei]

I'd be married to you, Tommy.

[Tommy Gallup]

I think so, right?

[Tim Decay]

I think so. I think that's how it works.

[Tommy Gallup]

I think so.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah.

[Tommy Gallup]

And I would be Venn diagram of relationships.

[Tara Gallup]

Or perhaps you guys would have still just met through Tommy in some way.

[Lisa Takei]

Maybe in some other way, because you were friends.

[Tim Decay]

It's not all about you, Tommy, usually.

[Tommy Gallup]

But. Okay, so you met you. So you're dating someone else at the time, Tim?

[Tim Decay]

I was. It was pretty. Honestly, it was casual, but we were assigned scene partners in class.

[Tommy Gallup]

Oh, what was that scene? Do you remember?

[Tim Decay]

There were a few there.

[Lisa Takei]

The first one was a period scene.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah, it was. Was it all summer long or.

[Lisa Takei]

God, you have a good memory. Yep, I think that's what it was.

[Tommy Gallup]

So were there sparks when you were rehearsing?

[Lisa Takei]

Yes, but in a definite sparks. As acting partners, we did really well together. And you usually change partners every couple of months, and they kept us together forever. And we worked really well together.

[Tim Decay]

We did.

[Lisa Takei]

And we became very close friends because of that. And I started dating another guy at Rutgers, and we would, you know, go over to each other's apartments and talk about our dates or weekends or. We became really, really close friends during that time.

[Tim Decay]

But, you know, that's an interesting question, because obviously there was something going on, because here we are, married 33 years in May, so. But I think the environment and the culture at Rutgers and many of these MFA programs where you're studying acting, it's intense. And so I don't. I don't know if that intensity and just the zeitgeist of the time and allowed us to have those sparks because we were so focused on work and acting. And so I almost feel, in spite of the fact that we met at Rutgers and at this intense acting program, we still fell in love.

[Tara Gallup]

Wow.

[Tommy Gallup]

I'm kind of interested because I don't think I know this story, but you said you were friends for a long time before.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah.

[Tommy Gallup]

So there was a moment, a long.

[Lisa Takei]

Time in college, the first semester.

[Tommy Gallup]

Oh, really? That was it? Yeah. I want to know when was the first kiss? What was that moment?

[Lisa Takei]

Oh, well, that was Halloween.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah.

[Lisa Takei]

And I was dressed as a 20s flapper. I can't remember what you went as.

[Tim Decay]

I don't think I went as anything.

[Lisa Takei]

I was in the bathroom putting on lipstick, and the door was open and he came in, shut the door, spun me around and kissed me. And I was shocked. He was shocked. And the next day we talked about.

[Tim Decay]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Lisa Takei]

You're not allowed to date others in the program. Oh, this is a mistake. We just had a drink or two or. I don't know.

[Tommy Gallup]

Was that a bylaw within the program? Like you couldn't date within.

[Tim Decay]

I don't know. I think that was the scuttlebutt, whether or not it was actually true.

[Lisa Takei]

Yeah, it was, because it. You know, there's. There were only 20 students in each class.

[Tommy Gallup]

Okay, but you're also adults. I mean, you're in.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah, exactly. Good point.

[Tommy Gallup]

Good point.

[Lisa Takei]

So we said, no, I know.

[Tim Decay]

I was an adult.

[Lisa Takei]

We're just. We're just friends. This was just a blip. And that was it.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah. Because first day back or first evening back, the whole class kind of gathered at this bar. And I wouldn't say I was ignoring Lisa, but I just wanted to. She was seeing. I knew she had seen her old boyfriend when she went home, and so I just thought I'd play it cool. And we didn't really connect the way we had connected the first semester. So I went home, she went home, and she called me. Yeah.

[Lisa Takei]

No, you called me.

[Tim Decay]

I know. I was gonna. And I called you and I said, I. In so many words, I apologize. And I. And I, we got to talking, and this is like 2:00 in the morning. On the phone, we're talking. And why were you that way? Why couldn't we have. You know, I missed you. I missed you. Well, yeah, but I don't know how you feel. How do you feel? Just. And you didn't say anything. I said, just say it. Just say it. And she said, what do you want me to say? That I'm in love with you? I said, yeah, and she said, I'm in love with you. I said, I'm in love with you, too.

[Tommy Gallup]

What?

[Tim Decay]

I'll be over in five minutes.

[Lisa Takei]

And he ran in the harsh January snow.

[Tim Decay]

January snowing.

[Lisa Takei]

To my house, my apartment. And we've been together ever since.

[Tommy Gallup]

That's amazing. See, you know what we have? We have the cry meter. If you make Mrs. Truffles cry, then it's a love that is pure and meant to be. That's. I don't think I knew that story.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tara Gallup]

That is so how long from that moment when you professed your love for one another until the engagement, how long did it take and how did that happen?

[Lisa Takei]

That was so. The program is three years long and it was our second summer that we got engaged. So I will let Tim take that story because he planned it. And it was really lovely. And it was a complete shock.

[Tim Decay]

I was able to. I was doing an opera up in Cooperstown at the Glimmerglass Opera, which is this gorgeous space where a large opera that seats could be off on this number, like 800 people to 1200. It's a large opera house and it's built in the middle of this field. And beyond the field is what they call Glimmerglass Lake. Lake. What is it? Oh, my gosh, I'm blanking. Doesn't matter. But I have no idea. When you go to the opera during the summer, the sides of the opera house fold back on themselves and it becomes this enormous screened in porch, open air, open air opera house. But it's screened in and it's rooted in Cooperstown, in Cooperstown. It's always incredible how you get these communities, these little towns where opera has taken a hold of. Anyway, I was doing an opera there. Non singing role was the Casey at the bat. And I played Casey based on the poem about the baseball player. And I decided I wanted to ask her up there. And she had come visited me. We were there for a couple weeks and my mom had given me a family ring. And so the night after one show, I had the stage manager leave the house lights kind of like halfway dim and gold. And the stage was beautifully lit, but the lights were down, the ghost light was there. And the rest of the cast was waiting for us at the bar where everybody would go after performance.

[Tommy Gallup]

They knew. They knew this was going to happen or.

[Tim Decay]

No, they knew it. They knew it was going to happen. They knew that it was going to happen. There's a moment in the play where I get down on one knee and I sign an autograph. For a little kid. There's a moment in the play where that happens. So I say to Lisa, I wanna. Something's not right with that moment. Can we rehearse? Do you mind playing the little kid and just coming out on stage?

[Tommy Gallup]

You had no idea.

[Tim Decay]

I'll be on one knee.

[Lisa Takei]

You totally bought it.

[Tommy Gallup]

God.

[Tim Decay]

I'll be on one knee. You come out. And then when she ran out, I said, it was the theater that brought us together. So it's only fitting that I ask you here. Will you marry.

[Tommy Gallup]

There she goes. Waterworks. Stop it, guys.

[Tim Decay]

Come on.

[Tommy Gallup]

I've got to deal with this later. That's beautiful.

[Lisa Takei]

I was in shock.

[Tara Gallup]

You had no clue.

[Lisa Takei]

I had no idea.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah, because we weren't. Honestly, we're two poor kids setting out to be actors. We weren't financially ready.

[Lisa Takei]

10 cents between us. Like, I just. I did not see that coming. I had no idea.

[Tim Decay]

That's true.

[Lisa Takei]

And there were people up in the booth, I guess, you know, the lighting people. There were a few people up there watching.

[Tommy Gallup]

I still don't know what you said.

[Lisa Takei]

Oh, I said, yes.

[Tim Decay]

Okay. Yeah.

[Lisa Takei]

Oh. Cried. And then. This ring is 1904.

[Tommy Gallup]

What?

[Lisa Takei]

I think it's 1904. I'm drawing a blank. But it's around the turn. It was purchased at Tiffany's around the turn of the century. And it's his great great aunts.

[Tommy Gallup]

That's special.

[Lisa Takei]

Yeah, really special.

[Tara Gallup]

So can we back up for just a moment now? So I just want to, like, circle back to, like. So you had this phone conversation where you admitted your love for each other, but when did you know? Like, when did you first know that you loved him? And when did you first know that you loved. Were you aware?

[Tim Decay]

In hindsight?

[Tara Gallup]

Yeah.

[Tim Decay]

Yes, consciously. When did I know that? I guess the moment I said. It's a great question. When is that moment? When is that moment where I realized.

[Tara Gallup]

I love her, there's no one else.

[Tim Decay]

I love her. I've got to pursue that.

[Lisa Takei]

And it was, looking back, obviously unconscious in me because over Christmas break, I called him just to say hi and catch up, because we were very close friends by that point. And when I hung up, my mom said, oh, tell me about this one. And I said, oh, my friend Tim. My friend Tim. My friend Tim, you know. She said, no, this is more than your friend Tim. And I. Moms know. Yes. And that was one of those, oh, mom, he's just my friend. But. So that's why I think that was able to come out like that.

[Tommy Gallup]

So maybe she knew before you Knew?

[Lisa Takei]

Oh, definitely. I think my mother knew before anyone. Definitely. But that first spring, we had the talk, and I think even though we had said that we were in love with each other, we also, you know, we're trying to be adults and we're gonna part for the summer. And maybe it's not the smartest thing to stay together or do we have a break and make sure this is what we want, what we really want. But we ended up not doing any of that. And do you remember we ended up opening up a savings account together.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah. Because we both got jobs and. I think so.

[Tara Gallup]

Very significant.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yes.

[Lisa Takei]

Very significant.

[Tim Decay]

Very significant. But that was certainly the moment. We knew that we were to.

[Lisa Takei]

We were in this for the long haul.

[Tim Decay]

We were a couple.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yeah.

[Tara Gallup]

Okay, so now tell us about the wedding. You guys got married a year later. Two years later, actually.

[Lisa Takei]

Two years later.

[Tara Gallup]

Was it a big wedding? Did you.

[Tim Decay]

Not very big.

[Lisa Takei]

It was full blooded Italian. So by Italian standards, it's probably considered small. 175 people.

[Tara Gallup]

175, yeah.

[Lisa Takei]

And we got married in Scottsdale. I grew up in Phoenix.

[Tim Decay]

Right. Tommy was one of the groomsmen. Yeah.

[Lisa Takei]

Yeah. It was a beautiful wedding. And for our honeymoon, we went to. We flew into San Francisco, which was very exciting because we were still living in Manhattan at the time. And then we.

[Tim Decay]

You know what, let's go back to the wedding.

[Lisa Takei]

Okay.

[Tim Decay]

Because she just was so beautiful in that dress, coming down the aisle. It just was. It just crushed me.

[Lisa Takei]

And the wedding was beautiful.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah, it was. Yeah.

[Tommy Gallup]

So. So I'm. I think we're both kind of interested in what it is that keeps you guys so in love going all these years. If there is that one thing that you can kind of point to, you know, is it communication? Is it laughter? What makes a union like this so strong?

[Lisa Takei]

I think it's all of the above. I think you definitely have to keep your sense of humor. You have to keep everything and, you know, take a breath and try to keep everything in perspective. But this was told to us very early on. And I think it's very true that we are a really good team. We are great with each other's strengths and weaknesses and supporting those and working as a team. We do lots of sweet little things for each other that they may seem silly and small, but. He makes me a cappuccino every morning and brings it to me wherever I am in the house. You know, there's like little things like that, or we used to leave notes in each other's suitcases. Every time one of Us would travel for work. I mean, we still do a lot of little things like that.

[Tommy Gallup]

Yeah.

[Tim Decay]

I think I've got your back.

[Lisa Takei]

Yeah, a lot of, like, I've got your back.

[Tara Gallup]

So do you. What advice would you give to young couples or young people looking for love? Do you, like, go back and give to yourself or just you would give to your kids? What's. What's your best advice?

[Tim Decay]

What we talked about before, but especially to the young couples. Don't ever stop making out. Lisa is the best kisser ever. Ever. And. Yeah.

[Lisa Takei]

Aw, you are. Back at you. That's so sweet.

[Tommy Gallup]

I would love to hear. I mean, you kind of gave that up, but if you were to kind of pinpoint that thing about each other that just kind of lifts your day. Right. Like, for me, it's like her eyes and her smile fill my heart. Honestly. It's like, you know, she lights up a room, but, you know, no offense, I've got the best kisser in the world. No Mrs. Truffles.

[Tara Gallup]

Maybe it's a chemistry thing.

[Tommy Gallup]

Definitely put her smackers on. But. But, you know, I also make her coffee every day. And it is. It's. It's those little things, right?

[Tim Decay]

Yeah.

[Tommy Gallup]

And it's communication.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah.

[Tommy Gallup]

And it's. It's all that having each other's back, which you clearly do. But. But for me, it's. It's how I can be my authentic self 100% of the time with her. Right. Warts and all. She just. She knows. And she's still. After all of that, she still loves me.

[Tim Decay]

Right?

[Tommy Gallup]

Right. And I feel like you guys have that the same. Oh, you can't. You can't go 30 years or to hide anything about yourself. It's all out there. So what is it about Lisa and Lisa, what is it about Tim that is that there's a thing.

[Lisa Takei]

Well, one of the things. One of many, actually, but he has. He makes me laugh as much today as he did when I met him. And he's one of the funniest people I know. He has a great sense of optimism. The other thing is he is truly an amazing father, and that makes me fall in love with him every day. I just love that about you. And still very involved and emotionally connected and a beautiful father.

[Tim Decay]

Thank you.

[Tommy Gallup]

Timmy. You are so getting lovin tonight.

[Tim Decay]

Come on, come on, come on. For Lisa, I think one of the things that I love about Lisa is that, yes, she's pretty, but her essence lights up a room. Just her energy and her essence.

[Tara Gallup]

It really does.

[Lisa Takei]

We get that you're all sweet. You're just looking to get lucky tonight.

[Tommy Gallup]

No, we all know that.

[Tim Decay]

We all know that she's so pretty to me. And I just. You light up. As Tommy said, I think if you can find somebody whom you feel lights up a room, man, take that light bulb with you everywhere you go.

[Tommy Gallup]

You know, Mrs. Truffles, I think it's the gifting portion of our podcast. Oh, yes.

[Tim Decay]

Presents, presents, presents. What do we get?

[Tara Gallup]

So this is just a little gift bag.

[Tim Decay]

That's the only reason I did this.

[Tara Gallup]

Yes. Fancy French champagne.

[Tim Decay]

Yeah, it is.

[Lisa Takei]

Oh, beautiful.

[Tommy Gallup]

And this for your weekend is so perfect, Right? Hold on. What else do we have?

[Tara Gallup]

Laurent Perrier.

[Tommy Gallup]

Pull it out.

[Tim Decay]

Laurent Perrier. Oh, my goodness.

[Tara Gallup]

This is something that I personally make love. My love in chocolate. Like, it's body butter.

[Tommy Gallup]

It's love butter. Let's be honest.

[Tim Decay]

Why?

[Tara Gallup]

I mean, it's the only thing I use on my face. It's 50% cocoa butter. So it is chocolate. And everything else in there is amazing for your skin. It's food great.

[Tommy Gallup]

Timmy food great.

[Tara Gallup]

All organic food grade. You could actually eat that. If you add a little sugar to it and it would taste delicious.

[Tim Decay]

So I could.

[Lisa Takei]

Oh, I'm so excited. Okay.

[Tara Gallup]

Champagne, chocolate.

[Tim Decay]

Come on.

[Lisa Takei]

You know he's gonna eat those, and they're not gonna make it to the weekend. Weekend.

[Tim Decay]

What is it?

[Tommy Gallup]

What is this?

[Tara Gallup]

Champagne truffles made with D. Perry going.

[Tommy Gallup]

To get you drunk if I hadn't said it before. This podcast is brought to you by Beverly Hills Toyer and the exquisite champagne truffle.

[Tara Gallup]

And that is my very favorite crackling fire candle from Trader Joe's Citrus. It has a wooden wick and it says like a fire.

[Tommy Gallup]

It's fantastic.

[Tim Decay]

Crackling.

[Lisa Takei]

Thank you. Oh, my gosh. The gifts keep.

[Tommy Gallup]

It's like the Oscars, right?

[Lisa Takei]

It's like Christmas fun. And this is. This is great. It's a really wonderful idea.

[Tara Gallup]

Thank you so much.

[Tommy Gallup]

Okay, well, guys, thanks again for making the trip over the hill.

[Lisa Takei]

Thank you.

[Tim Decay]

Thank you.

[Tommy Gallup]

Appreciate you. Oh, my God. That was awesome, you guys. Thank you so much for joining us and being our first guest. That was so much fun. This is for love and chocolate. And we'll be right back. This podcast has been brought to you by Beverly Hills Teut Chocolates of Switzerland. Beverly Hills Teuton at 371 North Camden Drive in Beverly Hills has been serving up truffles, pralines, dipped fruits, marzipans, and our world famous chocolate bars for over 40 years. So next time you're in Beverly Hills. Why don't you come by and visit or shop [e-mail] God, this was fun.

[Tara Gallup]

I hope everybody had as much fun as we did.

[Tommy Gallup]

I really. I kind of came into this whole pet project of yours kicking and screaming, and I just. Once again, you just knocked it out of the park, sweetie. Because these are stories that people really need to hear. I mean, I know my love for you is boundless, but, I mean, I also. When I hear stories of how other people fell in love, it just makes me love you more. It just takes me. Oh. Anyway, I just. I'm really grateful that we're doing this. I'm really happy about it. I think this first show was so much fun. Anyway, thanks again for joining us for listening. And guess what we're going to do again next week. How about that? This show is brought to you by Beverly Hills Tear Chocolates of Switzerland, home of the world's first and finest champagne truffles. Join us next week for more adventures in everlasting love.