Episode 360: Build A Life You Love with Alicia Menendez

Summary

Forever35 Podcast Episode 360: Build A Life You Love with Alicia Menendez

Release Date: July 14, 2025
Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Guest: Kristi Noem, Journalist and Producer

---

Introduction

In Episode 360 of Forever35, hosts Doree Shafrir and Elise Hu delve deep into the art of building a fulfilling life with special guest Kristi Noem. Balancing a high-profile career with personal well-being, Kristi shares her journey, self-care practices, and insights on fostering meaningful relationships and community support.

Guest Introduction: Kristi Noem

Kristi Noem is a renowned journalist and multimedia storyteller, recently promoted to co-host MSNBC's The Weeknight. Alongside her broadcasting career, Kristi is venturing into the world of theater as a co-producer of the Broadway musical Real Women Have Curves. Her multifaceted career showcases her dedication to storytelling and empowerment.

Self-Care Practices

Kristi emphasizes the importance of establishing routines that prioritize self-care amidst a busy schedule.

• Sleep and Physical Activity: "I'm a big believer in sleep, so I am really dedicated to getting at least seven hours of sleep. And I also try to get 10,000 steps a day, which is like, partly because I'm a lady over 40 and partly because I actually find it just really helps calm my mind to be, like, out there walking, talking to a friend, listening to a podcast" (16:14)

• Morning Routines: She shares how starting the day with exercise helps set a positive tone. "The only way it actually works. Because if I don't take the time for myself first thing in the morning, then the day gets the better of me." (16:39)

• Posture and Physical Awareness: Kristi discusses using a weighted vest to improve her posture and bodily awareness. "It really forces you to, like, actually stand up straight, utilize your core, think about your body. I found it's been really good for bodily awareness." (17:10)

Balancing Career and Personal Life

Kristi provides a candid look into managing a demanding career while nurturing personal relationships and responsibilities.

• Career Milestones: Moving from weekend broadcasting to a primetime slot has been a dream come true for Kristi. "I have been working weekends for the past five years. And so the opportunity, one, to be on like a semi normal schedule… has been just a dream come true" (19:16)

• Travel and Work-Life Integration: Balancing time between New York and Washington, D.C., Kristi shares strategies for maximizing productivity during travel. "On the way down on Monday mornings, I'm absolutely using it for work… On the way back, it is like 9 o'clock at night, and I've just worked a full day." (22:26)

Role Modeling and Personal Growth

Kristi delves into her experiences as a role model, both in her professional sphere and as a mother.

• Setting Boundaries: "I've done a lot of work in the last 10, 15 years on boundaries and setting boundaries. That is a thing I did not grow up doing." (37:07)

• Transparency in Struggles: She highlights the importance of being honest about personal challenges to foster genuine connections. "I think part of the disservice a role model can do is acting like they have it all figured out." (37:05)

• Supporting Others: Kristi emphasizes the need for mutual support within communities. "If you love you, I will love you so hard and go to the mat for you." (42:37)

Community Support and Current Events

Addressing recent events, Kristi discusses the significance of community involvement and mutual aid during crises.

• Building Community: "This moment calls for us to build community and to care for one another and then to show up in the way that feels most aligned and most authentic to who we are." (26:04)

• Sources of Hope: Drawing parallels with past events, Kristi finds hope in collective action and community resilience. "We find hope in one another. We find hope in community." (27:18)

• Broadway Production: Through her involvement in Real Women Have Curves, Kristi explores themes of empowerment and immigrant experiences, reinforcing the power of storytelling in fostering understanding and change. "It has been the most fun thing I've ever done." (30:14)

Personal Reflections and Future Plans

Kristi shares her ongoing journey of personal improvement and future aspirations.

• Skin and Hair Care: She discusses her approach to minimalistic skincare and embracing natural beauty. "I try not to wash my hair every day. It's actually the, like doing less." (43:32)

• Organizational Hacks: Balancing a demanding schedule, Kristi humorously admits her struggles with packing and organization, highlighting the human side of her busy life. "Like, please send them my way. Like, I am the person who, when I Open my purse…." (46:16)

• Legacy and Influence: Reflecting on her role as a mother and professional, Kristi emphasizes the importance of authenticity and continuous self-improvement. "I want to help other folks along." (36:36)

Conclusion

Episode 360 of Forever35 offers a heartfelt and insightful conversation with Kristi Noem, exploring the delicate balance between personal well-being and professional ambition. Kristi's transparency about her struggles and successes provides listeners with valuable lessons on building a life they love through self-care, community support, and authentic living.

Notable Quotes:

• “Boundaries are hard for me, but I'd focus so much on boundaries that I've done no needs work.” – Kristi Noem (37:07)
• “Interviewing is an art and a science that requires deep study and preparation and really careful listening.” – Kristi Noem (24:51)
• “We find hope in one another. We find hope in community.” – Kristi Noem (27:18)

---

Connect with Forever35:

• Website: forever35podcast.com
• Instagram: @forever35podcast
• Patreon: patreon.com/forever35
• Email: [e-mail]

Follow Kristi Noem:

• MSNBC’s The Weeknight: Tune in every Monday through Friday at 7 PM Eastern.
• Podcast: Latina to Latina available on all major platforms.
• Instagram: leciamn

---

This summary captures the essence of Episode 360, highlighting the key discussions, insights, and personal anecdotes shared by Kristi Noem. For a deeper dive, listeners are encouraged to tune into the full episode.

Transcript

[Elise Hu]

And now a next level moment from ATT Business. Say you've sent out a gigantic shipment of pillows and they need to be there in time for International Sleep day. You've got AT and T5G so you're fully confident, but the vendor isn't responding. And International Sleep Day is tomorrow. Luckily, AT&T 5G lets you deal with any issues with ease, so the pillows will get delivered and everyone can sleep soundly, especially you. AT&T 5G requires a compatible plan and device coverage not available everywhere. Learn [e-mail] 5G Network.

[Dory Shafrir]

Who says luxury has to come with a steep price tag? Quint's brings you hotel quality sheets and linens without the markup. From breathable bamboo bedding to spa worthy bath towels, Quints makes every corner of your home look and feel luxurious. And by partnering directly with top artisans and ethical factories, Quince delivers premium quality at half the cost of similar brands. Upgrade your home for less at quince. Go to quince.com homeupgrade for free shipping and 365 day return.

[Alicia Menendez]

Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Dory Shafrier.

[Elise Hu]

And I'm Elise Hu. And we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.

[Alicia Menendez]

I mentioned this to Elise before we started recording, but Matt and I went on a really, really hot date today. This morning.

[Elise Hu]

Like a breakfast date? Like a brunch situation?

[Alicia Menendez]

Or. I mean, not exactly. It was to the dmv.

[Elise Hu]

Oh. Because when I want to get hot and bothered, I go line up at the dmv.

[Alicia Menendez]

When you want to spend some real quality time with your spouse, may I suggest the dmv? So here's what happened. Matt and I never got our real IDs.

[Elise Hu]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Alicia Menendez]

I have a. I have a valid passport. Matt's has expired and he now can't find it. Which is a problem that we have sort of like kicked down the road.

[Elise Hu]

Okay.

[Alicia Menendez]

But I was like, okay, let's just get our real IDs. We're traveling at the end of the month. And so with no valid passport and no real id, I. I guess people have been saying you can get on a plane with like, extra screening. But I was just like that. Like, let's just try to get our real IDs. But like, there's no appointments. You have to. You have to like, jump on. You have to, like, get on the DMV website and hope that you happen to have, like, logged on at the exact moment that they've, like, released some appointments. So, like, six weeks ago, two months ago, something like that. I found these two random appointments on a Wednesday in July at the dmv, like, in near usc.

[Elise Hu]

So I just wasn't even really near your house.

[Alicia Menendez]

It was kind of like, not at all. It was very far. But it actually turns out that was the DMV that I originally got my California driver's license at. So it's a real full circle moment. And I was like, okay, we're getting our real IDs.

[Elise Hu]

It's happening.

[Alicia Menendez]

It is happening. And I. I was playing tennis last night before I left. I said, I was like, matt, fill out the paper, because you can, like, upload your documents ahead of time, like, get everything in order. I was like, make sure you do that. And I came home, and he had done it, and I was like, okay. Because, you know, Matt has adhd. So, like, the. The executive functioning is, like, not always the best. And then when we got there, there are, like, two lines. One for people with appointments, one for people without appointments. We're waiting in the line, and the people who are, like, at the windows, like, they seem to be taking a very long time. Like, I'm just like, what could they possibly be doing? Like, right. I mean, we're talking, like. Like, I saw two women up there for at least 15 minutes, so I'm just like, okay. And then they call, like, we get to the front, and we go up there. She, like, looks us up, and we had our documents with us. We give her the documents. She's like, okay, here's your number. And we just, like, go and sit down. And I was like, wow, that was it. That was. I mean, we had, like, several more to complete. Yeah, you had to wait to get. But that was, like, the initial. Yes. And. And Matt said, yeah, all those people, like, were like me, but they didn't have you to help them.

[Elise Hu]

Oh, how romantic.

[Alicia Menendez]

It was very romantic.

[Kristi Noem]

It's a reminder.

[Alicia Menendez]

Yeah, It's a reminder of how we can't do things alone.

[Elise Hu]

And it's so helpful to have the support of our partner.

[Alicia Menendez]

Right. He did admit that. He probably would have just showed up with, like, none of the necessary documentation. But then joke was almost on me because my number was called. I went up to the person, she's like, checking all my stuff. And then she's like, okay, I just need your driver's license. And I, like, open my wallet, and I'm like, oh, my God, my driver's license is not in my wallet. Because I'D taken it out to fill out all this advance paperwork.

[Elise Hu]

Oh, my gosh.

[Alicia Menendez]

I was like, what about a photo? Because I remember I have, like, photos of my license on my phone. And she's like, yeah, that's fine. Oh, my God. Thank God. She just, like, needed the number. I don't know. But I was like, I will die if after all this, after I make this big stink about Matt filling out the paperwork and all this stuff and bringing the right stuff and that I don't have my license. It's like, no, but it was all good. She accepted the photo. They took my picture. I'll have my new ID in two to three weeks.

[Elise Hu]

And you'll be safe to fly. Kristi Noem, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem's image. Her video is playing all over the place at airports right now with her big, like, filler lips reminding everybody to get their real id. And I'm like, okay, Kristi Noam. But anyway, you will now have satisfied the Christy Gnome reminder.

[Alicia Menendez]

Exactly. Well, what I thought was also so funny about the dmv, and I don't know if it's like this at other DMVs, but they have, like, the monitors where you can see your number being called, but then next to the list of numbers are, like, constantly playing. Like, there's no sound. But there's, like, ads, and they're all for, like, personal injury.

[Elise Hu]

Oh, my gosh. Is it called Jacob? Sweet James?

[Alicia Menendez]

It was. I think. I think one was Los Angeles. You know that one.

[Kristi Noem]

Okay.

[Elise Hu]

I think so. I'm just naming all the billboard lawyers of Los Angeles right now. Well, I'm so glad that you got that done. And it does sound very sweet. What a sweet outing for the two of you. And child free, you know, Henry was at camp, I assume, and you know what?

[Alicia Menendez]

We were in and out in an hour, which I feel like for the DMV is not terrible. It also was like, if you ever go to Disneyland and you are, like, going to get on a ride and you see some people lined up and you're like, oh, that doesn't look so bad. And you get in the line, and then, like, as you get closer, you realize that there's like another, there's more. Like, there's like, there's like 10 more switchbacks.

[Elise Hu]

Yes.

[Alicia Menendez]

You're like, no. So it's kind of like that because my number got called and I had to go to, like, a different. Like, my desk was, like, upstairs. And so I walked by. I like, walk through the whole floor. And I came across this like whole other room of like dozens of people waiting. And I was like, oh. Because I had been looking at the non appointment line being like, that doesn't seem so bad, right? And then I was like, oh, this is where they've stuck everyone.

[Elise Hu]

It sounds like it moved quickly though.

[Alicia Menendez]

It was not bad. I was really. I had like cleared the whole morning because I was like, who knows how long this is going to take.

[Elise Hu]

Well, it's good. I'm glad that there's like a story of victory for today's show to open this show.

[Alicia Menendez]

Yes.

[Elise Hu]

And we have an amazing guest today that we can introduce more formally later. But coming up today, we have Alicia Menendez, who is an old friend of mine and also she just got promoted on msnbc, so you probably have seen her on primetime on MSNBC lately. But just before we go to Alicia, I just wanted to send both of our love to Texas. The Hill country in particular, the flooding there was just so jaw dropping and it's been so tragic to see the images coming out of Texas, my home state, you know, I call Texas home. And grew up in Dallas and I lived in Waco and lived in Austin. And my goddaughters go to Camp Mystic. They had just been picked up the week before the camp that was so devastated by the flooding. Our hearts are heavy and part of my heart will always be in Texas. And so sending a lot of love to our listeners there. Just absolutely devastating. Dory texted me that day, I guess on July 4th. I had just gotten back from the parade, the Westchester, the neighborhood parade that I talked about on the casual chat. Dory was like, oh, my God, have you seen what happened with this camp in Texas? There's all these missing girls from a camp. And I was like, not Camp Mystic.

[Alicia Menendez]

And I was like, camp Mystic.

[Elise Hu]

Oh. Because Ava was waitlisted for it. And yeah, I mean, I. It's wild. So a lot of complicated feelings.

[Alicia Menendez]

My sister texted me and I had been just sort of like we had been at the beach and like I hadn't been online. You know what I mean? Like, I hadn't been looking at the news.

[Elise Hu]

Me neither. Me neither. So you were the first one to notify me. There were chills all over my body instantly. And then I was, I saw on the Today show that Jenna Bush, you know, one of the twins, talked about it. Her mom was a counselor at Camp Mystic. Like, so many generations of Texas women.

[Alicia Menendez]

Yeah.

[Elise Hu]

Have come through that. And so. Oh, really, really hard. Anyway, our hearts are my again, our hearts go out to Texas and there are many ways to help. So you can find those online in various sources. We can link to. We can link out to some of the lists of how to help if you should feel compelled.

[Alicia Menendez]

Yeah. All right. Well, Elise, do you want to introduce our guest?

[Elise Hu]

Yeah. Yeah. This was an awesome conversation. It was with Alicia Menendez. She's a journalist, multimedia storyteller. She's named broadcast journalism's new gladiator by Elle magazine, Ms. Millennial by the Washington Post, and a content queen by Marie Claire. She's quickly become a force in American media. She's also just a very warm and gener human being. She's currently the co host of MSNBC's the Weeknight, which starts at 7pm Eastern Monday through Friday. She's also the author of the book the Likability Trap, how to break free and succeed as you are. She's a native of Union City, New Jersey. She's a graduate of Harvard College and currently lives in New York after a long stint in Miami with her husband and kids.

[Alicia Menendez]

Before we take a break and get to our chat with Alicia, just want to remind everyone that Our website is forever35podcast.com. We have links there to everything we mention on the show. We are on Instagram @forever35podcast. You can join our patreon at patreon.com forever35. Our favorite products are at Shopmy US Forever35. Our newsletter is at forever35podcast.com newsletter and maybe most important of all, please call or text us at 781-591-0390. We love getting your texts, your voicemails. Our email is forever35podcastmail.com and those are what keep the mini episodes going. So if you have questions, comments, concerns, need advice, have recommendations, text us, call us, email us. We want to hear from you. All right, now we will take a break and we will be back with Alicia.

[Elise Hu]

We'll be right back.

[Alicia Menendez]

With summer now in full swing, I feel that familiar urge to refresh my closet. But I'm trying not to waste money on pieces I'll only wear once or just for one season. Thanks to quints, that's not really an issue anymore. Their clothes are timeless, feel luxurious, look elevated, and the quality is way beyond what you'd expect for the price. It's the kind of wardrobe upgrade that just clicks. I recently got their 100% organic cotton poplin pintuck maxi skirt in navy blue. And when I tell you it felt a lot like a skirt I had tried on that cost about five times the price I'm not joking. I am really pleased with this purchase. I've already worn it a couple times and I plan on wearing it all summer. But everything with Quints is at least half the cost of similar brands. Think 100% European linen tops starting at $30, washable silk dresses and skirts and soft cotton sweaters. These are versatile warm weather pieces you'll reach for again and again by working directly with top artisans and cutting up the middlemen. Quints give you luxury without the markup, and Quints only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. Give your summer closet an upgrade with quince. Go to quince.comfore35 for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C E.comfore35 to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comfore35 this episode is sponsored by EF Ultimate Break. If you love traveling but hate all the planning that goes into it, like juggling hotels, transportation, not to mention the actual fun planning part of your trip, then check out EF Ultimate Break. EF Ultimate Break makes traveling easy for 18 to 35 year olds because everything is handled. Do you hear me Luis? Everything.

[Elise Hu]

Love that.

[Alicia Menendez]

Yeah, we're talking accommodations, transportation, daily breakfast. You even get an expert tour director who knows all the local secrets. And whether you're going solo or with friends, you'll explore new lands with like minded travelers. From island hopping in Greece to bullet trains in Japan. You get to pick from over 120 immersive adventures that suit your style. Zero stressful planning. Just a few clicks and you're ready for the trip of a lifetime. And the best part? You don't have to shell out massive moolah for your trip like you normally would. You can choose flexible interest free payments instead. Ready to get started? Visit eFuber Forever35 and fill out your info to unlock a hundred dollar discount code off your first trip. That's E F U B CO Forever 35.

[Elise Hu]

Alicia, we are so delighted to have you on the show. Thanks for joining us Elise.

[Kristi Noem]

My favorite. Thanks for having me Dory. I'm so happy to be here.

[Alicia Menendez]

Yay.

[Elise Hu]

We kick off all of our interviews with self care practices and so what are you doing lately that you would consider self care? And obviously we mean this broadly. It doesn't have to be some sort of consumerist thing.

[Kristi Noem]

I'm a big believer in sleep, so I am really dedicated to getting at least seven hours of sleep. And I also try to get 10,000 steps a day, which is like, partly because I'm a lady over 40 and partly because I actually find it just really helps calm my mind to be, like, out there walking, talking to a friend, listening to a podcast. It, it, it's my time each day.

[Elise Hu]

How do you squeeze that in first.

[Kristi Noem]

Thing in the morning? That's the only way it actually works. Because if I, if I don't take the time for myself first thing in the morning, then the day gets the better of me.

[Alicia Menendez]

And, and first thing. What does that mean? What time are we talking here?

[Kristi Noem]

I put my kids on the bus and then I try to be out the door with my stupid weighted vest at like 8:30 in the morning. Okay, My sunscreen and my weighted.

[Alicia Menendez]

Let's talk.

[Kristi Noem]

Weighted me down.

[Alicia Menendez]

Hold on, hold on.

[Kristi Noem]

Instagram influenced how weighted is the weighted vest? You are supposed to go with 10% of your body weight was the recommendation from, I don't know, Cheryl in Kansas, who I decided was a, you know, fitness expert. But that's about what I do. And I think it feels right to me, though. I, I, I let my mother borrow it who, who's like, this is heavy. So, you know, to each her own.

[Elise Hu]

And you feel like you're getting some strength training out of it.

[Kristi Noem]

Oh, yeah, because, because I'm one of those people. I think you and I are about the same height, Elise. I've been this height since third grade, and so I've been slouching since third grade. And it really forces you to, like, actually stand up straight, utilize your core, think about your body. I found it's been really good for bodily awareness. So sometimes my husband will see me wearing it around the house and he's like, it's too much like, just. We're taking efficiency to a weird place.

[Elise Hu]

It's so funny you mention this, because I have walked around with an apologetic slouch for all my life. I'm five nine and I saw that Taylor Swift, as she was preparing for the ERAS tour, wore some sort of special bra. Like, I think it's called the form bra.

[Alicia Menendez]

It's like $150, but it's supposed to.

[Elise Hu]

Pull back your shoulders. And if you wear it all the time, just like putzing around the house or gardening or whatever, it's supposed to actually over time improve your posture. Have you tried anything like this?

[Kristi Noem]

No, because a lot of, a lot of them function by beeping. So, like, they beep every time you don't stand up straight. I'M not sure if this particular product, that's the way it works, but just the idea of another thing in my life beeping was too annoying to me. I also, I'm using an Invisalign and I've been using this Invisalign for like a year now. So I feel like that is the only form of self improvement I can currently invest in me and the rubber bands on my Invisalign. And then maybe next year will be the year I deal with my posture.

[Alicia Menendez]

I also did Invisalign. Big fan.

[Kristi Noem]

Because if I get to the end of this thing.

[Alicia Menendez]

No. Well, I will say it took longer than I thought.

[Kristi Noem]

Always does. Yeah.

[Alicia Menendez]

Everyone says it'll take longer than you think. And I was like, oh, it's taking longer than I thought. Like, I had to get extra trays in the end and. But very happy with the results, so stick with it.

[Kristi Noem]

Thank you for the inspo.

[Elise Hu]

All right, Alicia, you just got a big new promotion on msnbc, which is now, I guess, spun off from NBC and part of something called Versant. You're hosting in primetime now. Congrats. Tell us everything.

[Kristi Noem]

I like to say Versant like, it's like Target.

[Elise Hu]

Okay. I think it's French. Okay.

[Kristi Noem]

I have, my youngest daughter is going to be six in August, and I always mark time by her birth because around the time that I was going to deliver her, I, I got my job, my initial job offer at msnbc. And we're living in Miami and I had to move to New York and that was for a, an evening weekend show. I was, I came to New York, we launched the show. I'm doing it for a few months and then we end up in lockdown. And I'm broadcasting from my garage with a nursing infant who's like screaming bloody murder at the top of her lungs while I broadcast from the garage in either sub arctic or super hot temperatures. But grateful to be able to work from home when everybody doesn't have that opportunity, that privilege. Then I spent a little time doing that. And then about a year and a half ago, I was given the opportunity to transition to a show called the Weeknd with Simone Sanders Townsend, who's a very seasoned political operative. She's worked for Bernie Sanders, for Kamala Harris, and Michael Steele, who was the chairman of the RNC about a decade ago. We had so much fun together Saturday and Sunday mornings and found ourselves really being able to set the conversation for the day that we were able to build an audience. So thank you if you are a member of that Audience. And just a few months ago, we were offered the opportunity to move to 7pm Monday through Friday. I give you all that context to say I have been working weekends for the past five years. And so the opportunity, one, to be on like a semi normal schedule, but whatever that is has been just a dream come true, and I will never take it for granted. And the opportunity to do this work, which is to, you know, storytelling of the factual nature where context matters. And it is just such a privilege and such an honor to get to do this work in this moment, but. And I am traveling back and forth to Washington, D.C. which is its own interesting piece of the puzzle.

[Elise Hu]

Wait, so the studio is not in New York anymore? Is that what's happening?

[Kristi Noem]

It is in New York, but we try to spend as much time together as possible. And so that means on Monday mornings, I head to Washington, D.C. and on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, depending on the week, I head back. So my husband's doing some heavy lifting at home. I am trying to learn how to maximize my time on the Amtrak. If either of you have ideas for me, I would take them. I want to become one of those people who puts a face mask on and listens to a podcast. But you have ideas? I'll take.

[Elise Hu]

Has the wifi gotten better on Amtrak?

[Kristi Noem]

It has. It is much more reliable.

[Elise Hu]

Okay, well, then, good to know. That's a big. That's a big.

[Alicia Menendez]

Do you want to be using the time for work or for personal fulfillment or.

[Kristi Noem]

Wonderful question. So on the way. On the way down on Monday mornings, I'm absolutely using it for work, and I find it to be some of the best work time that I possibly have because there are fewer interruptions. I like. I don't want to even get up and get water or go to the bathroom. But on the way back, it is like 9 o' clock at night, and I've just worked a full day, so that.

[Alicia Menendez]

Right.

[Kristi Noem]

Just. I'm. I'm. I'm not functional. Like, maybe I do one or two mom things, like order a leotard, but, like, I'm not actually able to do any deep thinking.

[Elise Hu]

Okay, and then you're still podcasting too, right? You're still making Latina to Latina.

[Kristi Noem]

I am still making Latina to Latina. I've lost track of which season we are in. We're expanding to video, so we're now on YouTube. But I like that. And on some levels, like, I do that for the community that we have built, and I do it for myself because I just love the nature of Podcasting so much. There's. I don't know if you both have had this experience, but it's so much more intimate, for sure. I mean, I've been on TV for years, and, like, you know, once in a while, someone will recognize me at Trader Joe's, but it's more often that. Because you know, you're in people's ears. This, like, hi, can you hear me? Like, this is. This is a more intimate relationship than you have with someone you build a relationship with on the tv. I also love interviewing, and I think it is an art and a science that requires deep study and preparation and really careful listening. And I don't think we see enough of that. I think, especially in this new culture where everything is a clip and clippable, we're not thinking about how do I get to the real depth of the conversation? And my favorite moments in the interviews I do on Latina to Latina, which you don't have the time for on tv, is when I have the opportunity to reflect someone back to themselves in a way that either they have never thought of before or they have long thought of but never felt that anyone else has seen. And it's like those moments where someone lights up because I have seen something in them or brought out something in them that otherwise they've not experienced. Oh, that is like. That is. That is the thing that keeps me coming back for more.

[Alicia Menendez]

I love that. And I agree, like, there. There has been this misconception, I think, that interviewing is easy, and it's like just a. Just a chat. And I think, you know, those of us who have done it for a long time and are professionals are like, yeah, no, it's actually. It's actually harder than that.

[Kristi Noem]

And I mean, one of the things I always tell people are interested in doing this is like, to me, most of the work happens before it is in the preparation, where I'm reading every interview that a person has done or listening to every interview that they've done, and then from there thinking, okay, what do I know what is already out there? And how do I extend that conversation further? Because that's. That's. The work is pushing it out. It's getting people to talk about their Invisalign and their. Their weighted vest.

[Alicia Menendez]

Totally, totally. So I want to kind of switch gears a little bit. And we're talking to you as Los Angeles is being occupied by Marines and National Guard. And I'm wondering from your perspective, what do you think the best use of our energies is right now in this, like, very Scary moment.

[Kristi Noem]

I think it really depends on who you are and what unique skills and talents you bring to this moment. There are people who are showing up all across the country, and they are engaging in peaceful protest. There are people who are writing letters and calling their congressional offices. But they're also just, you know, people are showing up and taking care of other people in their communities. And that type of caretaking and caregiving, I think, can't be undervalued enough, you know, like. Or cannot be overvalued enough to, you know, pick up the neighbor's kids so that they can participate in one of these acts of protest, to bring a neighbor a meal when they don't have the time, the energy, the resources. I think this moment calls for us to build community and to care for one another and then to show up in the way that feels most aligned and most authentic to who we are, and to not consider any act in any corner of the world to be too little or too small.

[Alicia Menendez]

And how do you think people should kind of keep their sense of hope right now?

[Kristi Noem]

So I am co producing a musical that's currently on Broadway. It's called Real Women have the Musical. And it is based in Los Angeles in 1987. And the plot of the show follows Ana, who is the only American citizen in her family and wants to go to college, and her immigrant mother doesn't want to let her go. They run a sewing factory, a garment factory in Los Angeles, and it is like this big, beautiful, bright, brilliant joy machine of a show. And then in Act 1, there is a workplace ICE raid in the factory next to them, the Goodnight Pillow Factory. And a few of the workers there are detained and then deported by ice. And every time I see the show, I'm like, oh, my God, this is 1987 Los Angeles. Like, we have in some ways been here and seen this before. And the show, like America itself, kind of breaks your heart and then asks you to put it back together. And so the fact that there are people who are taking time out of their lives to show up in whatever way that may be, to show up as pro bono, you know, legal support, to show up at a faith vigil to show up and make sure that they're the final line of defense like that is. That's where we find hope. We find hope in one another. We find hope in community. We find hope in knowing that, yes, this moment does feel different. I don't want to take anything away from that, but there are echoes of this in our past where we can see that when we, we come together and stand up and say that these things will not be done in our name and that we do have the power to fight back. It would be helpful if people who had more hard power were, Were willing and able to do the same, but they will be moved by the people who have soft power. And so it's the calls, it's the showing up, it's the emails, it's the faxes. They really hate when the fax machine gets jammed up. Don't underestimate the faxes.

[Alicia Menendez]

I love, yeah, I love this, that, that, you know, just calling your representatives actually makes an impact. And I think people, you know, people forget about those, those sorts of, of things that they can do.

[Kristi Noem]

And having conversations in your family, like sometimes, like, I just, I'm always amazed by the amount of misinformation, disinformation, true information that is just like a little off that, you know, like where and. And to approach it. I think if you still have the time, patience and energy from a place of love, which is like, if I can, if I can bring this one person to see this in a more complex and nuanced way, then I will have done a piece of the work.

[Alicia Menendez]

I love that. I don't want to stop talking about this moment, but I do also want to ask you about being a producer of a Broadway show. As far as I know, this is your first one. How did this happen? Tell us everything.

[Kristi Noem]

So I'm a failed theater kid, which is, I think half, 50% of the MSNBC staff are, you know, failed theater kids. And I. So I got an email from Barry Weissler, who is a famed producer. He produced Chicago. He produced Waitress. And I thought that it was my brother punking me from like a decoy email address, asking me to, if I wanted to. It was just too good to be true. Like, do, hey, failed theater kid. Like, do you want to be a producer on a big Broadway show that I'm producing that happens to align with all of your interests around empowerment and community and immigrant. Like, give me a break. So I was like, okay, sir, I'll get on the phone with you and see if this is really you. And it was in fact Barry Weissler and not my brother. And I think he thought he had to sell me on the show, but I didn't need to be sold at all. You know, my grandmother, when she came to this country from Cuba, worked as a seamstress in a garment factory. No healthcare, no Social Security. My father was the first in his family to go to college. I, a generation later, get to have the great privilege of storytelling. Like, how lucky am I? And how amazing is it to sit, you know, in that theater at the James Earl Jones and watch all of this incredible talent on opening night? Lin Manuel Miranda was there and I was like, lin, I mean, like, where has all this talent been? He goes, well, they've all been in regional productions of in the Heights because like, that is, those are the roles that are out there for Latina actresses. And it's not that there's a dearth of talent, it's that there's been a dearth of opportunity. And when the opportunity presents itself, you're like, my goodness, there is, there's such a deep bench. And so just, you know, I'm, it's, it has been the most fun thing I've ever done.

[Alicia Menendez]

I love that. So we're just going to take a short break and we will be right back.

[Dory Shafrir]

Who says luxury has to come with a steep price tag? Quince brings you hotel quality sheets and linens without the markup. From breathable bamboo bedding to spa worthy bath towels, Quints makes every corner of your home look and feel luxurious. And by partnering directly with top artisans and ethical factories, Quince delivers premium quality at half the cost of similar brands. Upgrade your home for less at Quint's. Go to quince.com homeupgrade for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com homeupgrade My name is James A.K.

[Elise Hu]

Truncheon.

[Kristi Noem]

It's not Want to start sponsoring podcasts, but not sure where to start. Acast Smart Recommendations does the heavy lifting. Finding you the perfect podcast that aligns with your target audience. From top shows to hidden gems, our AI power tool scans thousands of podcasts to deliver you a list of personalized suggestions ready to reach the right listeners. Start now at go.acast.com ADS.

[Elise Hu]

Alicia, you're busy working on various projects in different across different areas and you're swimming in all this news and the headlines for work. What are you doing to just kind of center yourself and try to take care of your loved ones even when there's just like so much noise and not a lot of signal.

[Kristi Noem]

So aside from the sleeping and the walking, I mean, I think this is one of those places where I actually feel really lucky to to be a mom, which is like my kids just demand a certain amount of time and attention that forces me to be off my phone and away from the news and focus on them. Like I the worst moments of motherhood is when my Little one would be like, what are you doing? Who's that video of? And I'm like, oh, I'm like watching a video of a stranger on the Internet instead of paying attention to kids. And it snaps me right back into that time. But I'm kind of a believer in this, which is I built a life that I love. I love where I live. I love the person I am married to. I love the two children I have. I love the work I get to do. And that's like the joy, like the, the, the joys and the fact that I, I had a lot of privileges that led me to be able to make a lot of right choices, but I made the right choices for me. And I'm living a life that is authentically mine, authentic my own. I see a totally different life where it's like, I would have lived the life I had planned for myself until I was 22, where it's like, I would have gone to law school and gone and become a lawyer and then, you know, like that and, and maybe I'm happy in that life, but. But maybe I'm not. And I think what I, what I'm watching with so many of my friends who are also over 40 is just one of those things feeling out of place. Work or home or friendship throws the whole thing out of order. And there are just. There's no face mask or bath that undoes that truth. So, like, I'm not doing the most self care because I also don't really feel like I have to. Like, I feel energized and happy in my actual life.

[Elise Hu]

I love getting called out by my kids. Or I don't love, but it's sort of like, it sort of amuses me, getting called out by my kids for being a screen teen. So they'll call me a screen teen. You know, like if I'm doom scrolling or something, they're like, okay, screen teen.

[Alicia Menendez]

Wait, really? That's so funny.

[Kristi Noem]

Again though, over 40, I'd be like, thank you. Thank you so much.

[Elise Hu]

Okay, so I love that answer. I think that is, it is so true that especially when you get to about 40 and you're in. There's a lot of talk about, like, millennials going through our various middle midlife transitions. The midlife portal, everybody's calling it.

[Kristi Noem]

I'm wearing the stupid jeans, Elise. You know, I am. Like, some younger person told me to.

[Elise Hu]

You're getting Instagram influenced. Like, yeah, you're, you're in it. But as you kind of think about this, like, now that you're looking back, how do you want to be a good role model? How do you want. Want to kind of help other folks along?

[Kristi Noem]

A good role model to, like, professionals or a good role model to my own children?

[Elise Hu]

Would you answer the question differently?

[Kristi Noem]

Yeah, I mean, I. What I'm. What's coming up for me with. I have two daughters, they're eight and they're five. And there I'm. I'm realizing how many shortcomings I have and how much work I still need to do on myself in order to be a really good role model to them. Like, I've done a lot of work in the last 10, 15 years on boundaries and setting boundaries. That is a thing I did not grow up doing. Total people pleaser. I'm born in July. I'm a cancer, an infj. Like, boundaries are hard for me, but I'd focus so much on boundaries that I've done no needs work. I have no ability to assert my own needs. I have no ability to assert my own needs in any capacity. And I like, for a person who is otherwise generally competent, I have no basic skills in saying, I would like a slice of pizza. I would like to not do that thing you're asking. I just. I don't know. And so. But what. When you have children and like, I. They come to me with things where I'm like, oh, I need to help you learn how to set a boundary. I need to help you learn how to assert a need. And that is hard to do when you do not have the muscle memory or the skill sets. So part of it is just me working on myself. And then in terms of being a good role model with. With people in the workplace, I am. I'm just gonna admit, I am struggling with. With the emergence of the soft girl era because I love it conceptually. And at the same time, I just do not believe I would have attained the things I have attained and been able to do the things that I have done, much of which I hope has been in the service of others and in something bigger than myself, if not for a lot of hustle and a lot of working holidays and a lot of skipping a nap and a lot of coming in on the days when I didn't want to show up and come in. And so I am still sorting through, as I give counsel to others, how much of that grit needs to be maintained, even as I understand the need for us taking better care of ourselves and making sure that we have a lot of life that fits in with the work we're being asked to do. But. But yeah, I think also like being honest with people about the fact that you're in struggle as part of the service of being a role model. Like, I think part of the disservice a role model can do is acting like they have it all figured out. And if you do, please, like call or email me because I would love to hear about it. But most people are in process and I find it more interesting to know where people are in their process than to be sold like a one size all fake bill of goods.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah. As you were talking, it occurred to me that something that has really changed, I think after my 20s, really, but even more so now in my early 40s, is that I. I really want to be better at hyping other people up, especially my peers, because I think coming up in hustle culture sets you up to be in a very kind of competitive position, especially in broadcast news, because it was constantly like too much supply of people, not enough jobs, like not enough demand. And so we were constantly like looking over each other's shoulders to, to try and get a leg up and what a waste of energy. And so now I just like want to be a high pie for everyone and encourage each other to hype each other up. And I think that's like. I don't know, I feel like that's how I would answer the question. You're very good at that. And that's what made me think too.

[Kristi Noem]

Thank you. And I was gonna say, I've like, I've never read that off of you, Elise. So either you were doing a very good job being a self compared to.

[Elise Hu]

I'm not that competitive anyway. That's why I'm not in broadcast news anymore.

[Kristi Noem]

But that's. I so appreciate you reflecting that back in me because it is really important to me to be a one person hypehive. And if I love you, I will love you so hard and go to the mat for you. And I've been thinking about this a lot because now I've been through launching television shows, launching a Broadway show, publishing a book. And two. Two things that come up for me are this. One is if you want to support your friend, you have to take a maximalist approach. You have to be the person who buys the theater tickets in the first two weeks, who pre orders the book before it is even available, who posts it on Instagram. And I am talking about your grid, not your stories. Nobody's there. You have to post it there too, with the link included reminding people to either Ask their library to carry the book or to buy it. On the flip side of that is I am not a natural asker. And so when I have had projects, something that I have had to learn is how to ask for support and to be really explicit about it, not to say, oh, I'm producing Real Women have Curves. You should see it. To say, the show is launching April 27th. Tickets are available at curves broadway.com I would really like if you'd come and you'd bring your mother and your aunt, preferably in the first three weeks of the show, you know, like, to really give direction, because I, like, I am. I am, as both of you are, an extremely busy person. And so you were actually saving me time by being explicit about how I can be most helpful in hyping you up. And so I'm trying to embrace both sides of it. Both, like, do the most as early as you can, and when you are the person who needs the hyping, ask your people for what you need.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

[Alicia Menendez]

That's a tough lesson, I think, for a lot of us. And I think it also goes back to kind of what we were talking about earlier, where you were saying, you know, we all need to kind of be leaning on our communities right now and being part of our communities right now. And I think it goes both ways, right? Like, we need to be helping in our communities, but we also need to be able to ask for help from people. And I think, you know the term mutual aid? It's mutual, right? It should go in both directions. So I think that's just such a. It's a really good reminder, Alicia.

[Kristi Noem]

I always feel like you're saying your name with, like, a little extra at least.

[Elise Hu]

Oh, yes.

[Kristi Noem]

Whenever you say my name.

[Elise Hu]

Before we let you go, we have to talk about what else you've been influenced by, because surely it's not just the weighted vest. Are you doing anything for skin or hair care that you really swear by?

[Kristi Noem]

I love the electrolytes. Oh, you can't overdo them because you have to. To drink quite a bit of water to go with it. Like, just like, one pack a day. But it makes me. I feel great. I've so been influenced by that. Let's see. I use, like, a vitamin C serum that I can't tell if it's actually making a difference. So I'm not willing to pump that out on anybody else. I'm like, what actually works? I mean, that's sort of. The funny thing is when you. If you ask me what I do I could tell you everything I do, but the real question is, what's working? Like, I think that the things that are working best are like, I try not to wash my hair every day. It's actually the, like doing less. It's like, how do we just like stop touching and fixing and that and then how do I do that? Do you have some T shirts an influencer told me to buy?

[Elise Hu]

Nice. Do you, do you have a dry shampoo that you like for the days.

[Kristi Noem]

That you don't like?

[Elise Hu]

No.

[Kristi Noem]

I am anti dry shampoo. I am anti dry shampoo. I find I have very fine hair and I find that it just ends up making me look like when it's my kids, like hundredth day of school and they go in with, with powder in their hair, like it just looks like a residue. I don't just, I just think like, you know, I have dirty hair. It's okay guys, calm down. I love that I'm trying. What else I haven't influenced by? I don't know if either of you have had this, but like, I did realize at some point that like all of the clothing I had was from 2006. Like, I just, like, I, between we. I lived in Miami for a period of time. There's a different aesthetic than New York, New Jersey. I, I had two children. I, I was like either pregnant or nursing for a few years. And like that basically is a 10 year stretch. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, that nobody's wearing this anymore. Oh no, this doesn't actually fit on my body anymore. So like, I have been paying attention to, to what the kids are wearing, but I find it all very confusing. Does anybody have a good pair of jeans? Can someone please send me the link?

[Elise Hu]

I love high waisted jeans though. I love that high waisted jeans are not like embarrassing anymore. Because remember, remember that time probably around 2006, 2007 when Jessica Simpson came out wearing mom jeans and everybody was like, ooh.

[Kristi Noem]

I had nightmares though, about when it swings back, it's gonna swing back and then I'm not gonna be prepared. Like that's it all comes full circle. So get ready.

[Alicia Menendez]

That's so true.

[Kristi Noem]

Enjoy those high waisted jeans while you can.

[Alicia Menendez]

Yeah, exactly. Alicia, I know, you know, we talked a little bit in the beginning about how you are on Amtrak a lot and I know you travel a lot. Do you have any travel hacks or packing hacks?

[Kristi Noem]

I. No, no, no, no, no, no. Like, please send them my way. Like, I am the person who, when I Open my purse. It is like, there, there cords coming out. There are half eaten snacks from my children. There are. I am. Whatever I am doing, you should do the opposite.

[Alicia Menendez]

Fair.

[Kristi Noem]

Like, fair enough. This may be this conversation and the humiliation of having to admit that I have a Mary Poppins bag of nonse sense that I like. That's the thing. It's like I let. Last week, I was like, oh, I forgot my AirPods. And like the week before that, like, there's. There's always something. There's always something that I'm forgetting. And. But then. But then the growing is. I just have to learn to live without it. And it turns out it's fine.

[Alicia Menendez]

Totally.

[Kristi Noem]

Almost anything except my contacts, I can live without.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, that was actually the travel hack I was gonna share with you, which is just get a smaller bag. So the smaller your bag gets, the more selective you have to be with what's in it and the fewer goldfish crumbs will wind up on the bottom.

[Kristi Noem]

I literally turned it upside down the other day where I was like, you just. The crumbs have got to get out of here.

[Elise Hu]

It's gross. I'm there. I'm there. Well, this has been a delight. Where can folks find you?

[Kristi Noem]

Please find me Monday through Friday on MSNBC at 7pm Eastern. Every Monday, there is an episode of Latina to Latina, which you can find wherever you listen to your podcasts. And then I'm most active on Instagram leciamn until that beautiful girl in Spain who secured Alicia Menendez decides she wants to give it up. She's vacationing in Mallorca. It looks beautiful.

[Elise Hu]

Like, one day, though, you've been called out at Alicia Menendez in Spain.

[Alicia Menendez]

Yeah.

[Elise Hu]

Thank you so much.

[Alicia Menendez]

Thank you, Alicia. This was so fun.

[Kristi Noem]

Thank you both.

[Alicia Menendez]

Well, that was a great conversation with Alicia. She's so. Had such an interesting life and career. I really enjoyed talking to her. You have cool friends.

[Elise Hu]

The only thing, though, is I don't know about a weighted vest. The whole weighted thing. That seems like more work than.

[Kristi Noem]

I. I don't know.

[Alicia Menendez]

I was like. I was like, kind of sold after she told me that. I was like, maybe I should get a weighted vest. I also. It's like, also one of those things where, like, as soon as someone mentions something, you start seeing it everywhere. Like, I feel like now I'm seeing all these people walking with weighted ven. Bests and I'm like, weighted best day. Well, intentions. Yes. Last week you were going to be present for Unstructured Time. How is that going there was so.

[Elise Hu]

Much unstructured time on our vacation in Zion National Park. Yeah, the kids were just rotting when we were at the cabin and not out hiking or doing the Narrows. First of all, the trip was incredible. I talked a little bit about it on our mini app. And thank you again to our listener who offered so many suggestions. Zion National Park. Don't sleep on it. It's incredible. I was there, was I like really engaged? 8. You know, I'd give myself a B. But we did just have so much unstructured time. So we did have just like so much time together hanging out. And there were lots of toys in our cabin that allowed Luna to be really creative. And she made this giant castle with the Jenga blocks that were in there.

[Alicia Menendez]

Oh, cool.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah. And then we, and we played, we like made all sorts of designs, like knocking them over like you do with Domino's. And so there were lots of fun things that we did. And I'm glad. I, I, I do get a lot of like fulfillment and memory making from these vacations. So not bad. I, I give myself a be.

[Kristi Noem]

What about you?

[Elise Hu]

You were just planning on spending time with people like trying to kind of fulfill the legacy of your sister in law?

[Alicia Menendez]

My sister in law, Yeah. I have been making, I've been making more of an effort.

[Elise Hu]

Good.

[Alicia Menendez]

So yeah, we'll see. Hopefully this will continue. So I talked at the top of the show about how Matt and I went to the DMV and maybe I will take on another like life task this week. Like one of those things that I've just been like putting off trying to think what that will be. But I'll come up with something. There's certainly many things on the checklist that need to happen.

[Elise Hu]

So I had that pile of clutter, like all the stuff that was moved out of my parents storage that got moved to my house that I still haven't dealt with. I talked about this a few episodes ago and I still haven't dealt with. But I do have, have Raul who's like an amazing handyman. He's going to come over on Thursday to help with some things and maybe I can talk him into going through that pile of stuff with me. Like maybe I can be like, oh, this is so heavy. I can't move it around on my own. Maybe you can help and maybe he'll feel bad for me and help. But my intention this week is I, we can talk about this at the start of some episode. But like my scalp got sunburned a little bit.

[Alicia Menendez]

It, oh no, like, I just have.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, there's like a little pink stripe where my hair part is and I think it's sunburn on my scalp. And my skin is just super dry because I've spent so much time in the sun in the national park in Utah. But then also I went to Phoenix for a couple days and so I'm gonna just. My intention is just to like super hydrate the skin all over my body, including my scalp. Yeah. Because I actually like, feel, feel like I've been in Arizona, you know, like.

[Alicia Menendez]

Yeah.

[Elise Hu]

Like I'm gonna start either peeling or looking real leathery. So I'm gonna work on skin hydration.

[Alicia Menendez]

Okay. Love that. I'm a big fan. All right, well, thanks everybody. Forever 35 is hosted and produced by me, Doris Shafrier and Elise Hu and produced and edited by Sam Hunio. Sammy Reed is our project manager, Manager and our network partners, acast. Thanks everyone.

[Elise Hu]

Talk to you next time.

[Alicia Menendez]

Bye.

[Elise Hu]

There's nothing like gaining a fresh perspective from experts who've seen it all and have the wisdom to prove it. Like, I have learned so much more about what's going to happen when my body goes into perimenopause and how the mind body connection can really change those perimenopause symptoms and your mood. This is something we've been talking about a lot on Forever 35, and there is a masterclass all about this called the Magic of Menopause. It's changed everything because with understanding and context, you're not so scared to go through this period of life that all women are going to go through. With Masterclass, you can learn from the best to become your best. With plans starting at just $10 a month billed annually, you get unlimited access to more than 200 classes taught by world's the best business leaders, writers, chefs and more. With Masterclass, you get thousands of bite sized lessons across 13 categories that can fit into even the busiest of schedules. Deepen your relationships at work and home with Esther Perel or solve modern problems using ancient wisdom from the Daily Stoic podcaster Ryan Holiday. And the classes really make a difference. Three in four surveyed members feel inspired every time they watch Masterclass, download classes and watch them online. Perfect for making the most of time spent traveling this summer. Right now, Forever 35 listeners get an additional 15 off any annual [e-mail] Forever 35. That's 15 [e-mail] Forever 35 masterclass.com Forever 35.

[Dory Shafrir]

Ready to elevate your everyday quince has the luxe Staples Insider swear by minus the markup. From 100% European linen styles and 14 karat gold jewelry to gorgeous leather bags, an elevated home finds Quint's has it all. And by partnering directly with top artisans and ethical factories, Quint delivers premium quality at half the cost of similar brands. Discover everyday luxury without the markup at quint. Go to quince.com styleupgrade for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com styleupgrade.