Episode 377: Teeing It Up with Hilary Lassoff

Summary

Forever35 — Episode 377: Teeing It Up with Hilary Lassoff

Date: November 10, 2025
Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Guest: Hilary Lassoff, founder of Bunker Club

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Overview

This episode centers on self-care through community and sports, focusing especially on women and queer representation in golf. Doree and Elise welcome Hilary Lassoff, founder of Bunker Club—a social club for women, queers, and underrepresented voices in golf. Through humorous and candid conversation, they explore Hilary’s journey, what Bunker Club stands for, and why golf can be a uniquely empowering act of self-care.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up and Good News (04:02–11:00)

• Hosts celebrate recent political victories, particularly in Virginia, and note the role their community played through charitable giving.
• Commentary on robust voter turnout and the positive energy in typically bleak times.
• Lighthearted conversation about parenting logistics: kids’ birthday parties, dealing with sensory overload, and dividing parenting duties.

Notable Quote:
“Yay for democracy, yay for turnout in an off year. I’m pleasantly surprised because it’s been feeling pretty bleak. But let us just celebrate this one night that was pretty phenomenal.” —Elise Hu [06:46]

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2. Introduction to Hilary Lassoff (14:39–15:02)

• Doree introduces Hilary as a golfer, poker player, boxer, vintage car enthusiast, and most notably, founder of Bunker Club.
• Hilary is described as gregarious, community-minded, and energetic. Doree recounts DM’ing Hilary after learning about Bunker Club.

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3. Hilary’s Approach to Self-Care & Mental Wellness (15:02–16:13)

• Hilary’s self-care is holistic, extending far beyond skincare into practices like meditation, walking, and, importantly, golf.
• Her girlfriend has recently helped deepen her engagement with skincare, but Hilary stresses simple routines and finding mental peace in nature and sport.

Notable Quote:
“For me, self-care runs the gamut. Different things I like to do or partake in that bring fun and peace to the day.” —Hilary Lassoff [15:02]

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4. Golf as Self-Care & Personal Growth (16:13–19:18)

• Hilary describes golf as both an athletic and personal identity builder, offering her a sense of independence from a young age.
• Notes the historical lack of welcome for women and LGBTQ+ people in golf and how Bunker Club addresses this.
• Golf became Hilary’s “mental safe space,” allowing her to meet diverse people and eventually inspired the idea for Bunker Club.

Notable Quote:
“It was almost this individualism that I got to play and create my own identity in.” —Hilary Lassoff [16:46]

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5. Founding Bunker Club: Mission & Community Building (19:18–23:28)

• Bunker Club emerged from a realization that LA lacked inclusive golf and social spaces for women and queer community members.
• Hilary describes wanting to create a “golf world” akin to a blend of The L Word’s Planet, Soho House, and a country club—just for underrepresented groups in golf.
• Community is at the heart: social events, member dinners, and creating environments where people can fully be themselves.

Notable Quote:
“It’s not about a man versus women thing, but in community, in women, we share something so special… we get to really find safe spaces and learn better.” —Hilary Lassoff [20:22]

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6. The Structure and Access to Bunker Club (23:28–24:53)

• Events are “traveling,” popping up at various LA locations.
• Physical space is a goal for the future. There are plans for satellite memberships and digital connection.
• The membership process involves an application and a mutual “energy and vibe check”—emphasizing intentional, positive community building.

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7. Bunker Club Programming: Events, Clinics, and Retreats (24:55–27:50)

• Monthly member dinners, poker nights, bi-weekly golf clinics (for all levels, total beginners welcome), social events, and retreats (Cabo, Japan).
• Callaway donates clubs for use by new golfers—eliminating barriers to entry.
• Programming tailored to competitive golfers and casual/curious participants alike, with an emphasis on human connection over business growth.

Memorable Exchange:
“If you’re a person that’s super competitive, we make sure to put you in the competitive groups… whereas somebody that just wants to come and kick it... they get to participate in that as well.” —Hilary Lassoff [26:32]

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8. Golf, Identity, and Family History (27:50–32:44)

• Elise shares her own (reluctant) golf background, noting how sports culture shaped her adolescence in Texas.
• Hilary talks about being a twin and trying many team sports—not just golf—reiterating the value of team and community.

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9. Coaching Styles: Growth & Gender Dynamics (35:42–41:10)

• Discussion of how coaching approaches affect skill and self-perception, especially for girls and women.
• Hilary contrasts the male-dominated, “one size fits all” methods of her youth with more individualized, affirming coaching today.
• Importance of seeing each student (child or adult) as unique, and coaching “the person” rather than just the technical skill.

Notable Quote:
“It’s not about teaching people how to play golf. It’s teaching a person.” —Hilary Lassoff [36:21]

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10. Why Should (More) Women Try Golf? (42:19–44:34)

• Golf is humbling, childlike, and confidence-building. It provides a rare chance to start something new as an adult, whether casually or competitively.
• The health and social benefits—being outdoors, longevity, global accessibility—are highlighted.

Notable Quote:
“Golf, to me, very much mirrors life… you get to show up how you want and be an individual contributor… It’s putting us back in that childlike mentality that you get to go out and learn something new and be humble.” —Hilary Lassoff [42:35]

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11. Making Golf Fun & Accessible (44:34–45:57)

• Hilary and Elise talk about lowering barriers and removing the intimidation factor.
• Emphasis on play styles, pace, allowing fun and leisure, and not requiring perfection or technical mastery.

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12. Favorite Golf Movies (45:57–47:33)

• “Tin Cup,” “The Greatest Game Ever Played,” “The Legend of Bagger Vance,” and “Caddyshack” all get shoutouts.
• Light banter about golf movie nostalgia.

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13. How to Connect with Hilary & Bunker Club (48:01–48:29)

• Find Bunker Club on Instagram: @bunkerclubla and at bunkerclubla.com
• Bunker Club merch also available: noted by Doree as “so cool.”

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Notable Quotes

• On golf and community:
  “To me, creating spaces for anyone to do that is my complete passion.” —Hilary Lassoff [22:53]

• On breaking gender coaching molds:
  “Now...having someone be able to look at you and see you...and be like, there’s not one way to do something.” —Hilary Lassoff [36:21]

• On trying new things:
  “It’s so humbling to them…you get to really set that down. I don’t want to say golf is therapy, but…you learn something about yourself.” —Hilary Lassoff [43:04]

• On perfection in sport (and life):
  “It’s not about being perfect…It’s just about showing up with what you have that day.” —Hilary Lassoff [41:46]

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Segment Timestamps

• 04:02: Doree & Elise highlight election victories and celebrate democracy.
• 14:39: Guest Hilary Lassoff introduced.
• 15:02–16:13: Hilary’s self-care practices, emphasis on meditation and golf.
• 16:46–19:18: Hilary’s personal golf story and value of individual sports.
• 19:18–23:28: Founding and philosophy of Bunker Club.
• 24:55–27:50: Bunker Club’s events, clinics, and inclusivity.
• 35:42–41:10: In-depth on coaching, gender, and individualized teaching.
• 42:19–44:34: Hilary’s pitch for newcomers to golf; emotional and social benefits.
• 45:57–47:33: Favorite golf movies discussion.
• 48:01–48:29: How to find Bunker Club and its standout merch.

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Tone and Style

The conversation is open, supportive, and often funny. Both hosts champion self-care in its many forms, blending practical tips with honest self-reflection. Hilary’s passion for building inclusive spaces is palpable, and her answers are warm, candid, and inclusive.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is for anyone curious about finding (or making) their place in a frequently gatekept activity, the joy of community and women’s sports, and the many facets—emotional, social, and physical—of self-care as we age. Whether you’re an athlete, a self-care devotee, or simply love a story of community innovation, you’ll find plenty of inspiration and pragmatic wisdom here.

For more:

• Instagram: @bunkerclubla
• Membership/Merch: bunkerclubla.com

Transcript

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[Elise Hu]

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[Dory Shafrir]

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[Hillary Lassoff]

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[Hillary Lassoff]

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[Hillary Lassoff]

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[Elise Hu]

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[Dory Shafrir]

Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Dory Shafrier.

[Elise Hu]

And I'm Elise Hu. And we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.

[Dory Shafrir]

Today we have Hilary Lassoff on the podcast. Hillary is the founder of Bunker Club, which is a community and social club for women, queers, and other underrepresented voices in golf. And she's just doing something really cool. Yeah, we had a really interesting conversation with her about being an athlete, why she loves golf, why people should get into golf. She really wants Elise to come play golf with her.

[Elise Hu]

Dory has gotten to know Hillary sort of pre her appearance on the pod and pitched her as a potential guest because she's doing a lot of community building because she has just a lot of energy and moxie, but also like golf. You know, we. We love having some jocks on the show every once in a while. We had. I remember having Caitlin from Racket magazine on last summer, and she was awesome and very opinionated. How did you get to know Hillary?

[Dory Shafrir]

So a friend of mine knows this woman who teaches pickleball, and I think that this woman is friends with Hillary. And so that woman had told my friend about Bunker Club and then my friend told me about it, and I just like started following them on Instagram. And then at one point, Hillary had posted something about poker tournament that Bunker Club was hosting. And your ears perked up. My ears perked up and I just, I DM'd her and I was like, I can't make it, but have you ever thought about having like a cash game? You know, just like a casual cash game? Mind you, I didn't know this. I didn't know her, but she was like, oh my God, like other people have suggested that to going to put something together. And then like a few weeks later she was like, I'm hosting a poker night, you should come. And so I went. Turned out she lived really close to me. She's since moved, but she lived really close to me at the time. And I was like, oh, this is so fun. And she's so, like, she's so gregarious and so welcoming and so outgoing and like, I didn't, I didn't really know that many people. Although it turned out there was someone at the poker night who I had played tennis with like a year earlier. Hadn't. Yeah, I hadn't seen her in like months. So it was fun to like reconnect with her. But yeah, that's how I met Hillary. I basically slid into her DMs.

[Elise Hu]

Long story short, I slid into her DMs. Long story Short and today she is on Forever 35. Yes, in a bit. First, we're going to catch up because this is the first Monday after last Tuesday's sweeping victory for Democrats all over the country where there were races, notably Virginia, where we directed our Giving Circle funds. So, so many of you contributed to our Giving Circle goal, which we kind of did last minute this year with the States Project. Big update there. If you recall, when Melissa Walker from the States Project was on, she said that there were all these toss up races. She really wanted, the States Project really wanted, and Democrats nationally really wanted Virgin Virginia to be a pro democracy trifecta, essentially to have the majorities in both houses of the state legislature and the governorship. And with the victory of Abigail Spanberger, who is now the first woman governor of Virginia, along with holding the majorities in the legislature, Virginia is a trifecta, just as the States Project had been working for. It's not just holding a slim majority, it is a expanded majority, which was crazy. And it was due in part to you all and your investment in Virginia. And wow, it was really weird actually on election night for something good to happen. Yeah, I was sort of disoriented, I know, and scared. I was sort of like, oh, what's going to happen now?

[Hillary Lassoff]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elise Hu]

But very exciting there in Virginia. I know a lot of New Yorkers Are very happy that Cuomo is not back in office. And we have the big victory of Mamdani. And here in California, that ballot measure, that was the one thing on our ballot. We had one thing to vote for and people lined up to vote in California. I'm surprised. I went to vote at like 2 o' clock in the afternoon. I sent Doria text an image because there was a long ass line to vote for one thing.

[Dory Shafrir]

Well, I dropped our ballots off like in a. Because in California there are these like ballot boxes like in front of libraries and other civic buildings. And so I just bopped over to the library close to our house and dropped them off. And there were. There was like a steady stream of people also dropping off their ballots, which I was like, oh, like I. I haven't really seen that before when I've dropped ballots off on election day. And then I was driving home from picking up Henry from school and we went, we drove past a polling place in a church and there was a line like wrapped around the block.

[Elise Hu]

Wow.

[Dory Shafrir]

I was like, wow.

[Elise Hu]

And this is all for the one ballot measure to redraw our lines in the middle of a decade in order to counter the redistricting that was going on in Texas. So that won that ballot measure won decisively by double digits. I don't have the numbers right in front of me, but pretty crazy. Like, yay for democracy, yay for turnout in an off year year. I really, I. I'm pleasantly surprised because it's been feeling pretty bleak. But let us just celebrate this one night that was pretty phenomenal. And I mean, turnout was a big win. So that was exciting to. Exciting to see. But what other headlines are going on? What. Do you have any exciting weekend plans coming up? Are you going to like 18 birthday parties?

[Dory Shafrir]

Well, I told Matt that we're gonna have to like play rock, paper, scissors to see who. Who goes to this birthday party on Saturday with Henry.

[Elise Hu]

Because divide and conquer.

[Dory Shafrir]

It's at like a. It's at like a Dave and Buster's type place. It's not Dave and Buster.

[Elise Hu]

Sensory overload.

[Dory Shafrir]

Yeah, massive sensory overload for me. Not to mention my child. It's also far. Like, it's really far. I. So I don't really want to like make that drive. So I'm like, it's so funny you.

[Elise Hu]

Mentioned Dave and Buster's because on Mondays, every Monday, I have a work meeting with my production company partner, Rachel, and we catch up on the weekend and we talk about kind of what culture we've been listening to. Or watching. It used to be, like, everybody who checked in would talk about a podcast that they're really into and make a recommendation. So it was sort of this discovery thing, but then it turned into more of a like, what are you watching? What are you reading? But before that, I kind of asked her. I was like, okay, what's the thing that you're really grateful for from this weekend? Or what was the best thing that happened to you this past weekend? And she was like, there were two Dave and Buster birthday parties this weekend, and Tim went to both. So her husband handled two Dave and Buster birthday parties in a row. And she was like, because I couldn't have done it. I can't do it. It's just too much for me. You know, Rachel is a very sensitive soul. She can't handle, like, all of the lights and the sounds and the socializing. Like, she won't do it. And so for her husband to have done that, that was like her big gratitude.

[Dory Shafrir]

I mean, honestly, that's. Yeah, that's huge.

[Elise Hu]

So romantic.

[Dory Shafrir]

And then my tennis team is having a party to celebrate nationals, and then also one of our beloved team members is moving back to her, like, where she's from, which is Dubai, a little far. A little far? Yeah, a little far. So everyone's very kind of a send off. It's a send off. Yeah. So that'll be nice. And one of the. One of the other teammates is hosting the party. So that'll be. That'll be really fun. Cool. We get to do it.

[Elise Hu]

This is going. Those of you who are partnered, like, are. Have the partners gotten to know each other?

[Dory Shafrir]

No. No, this is very much like, this is your thing, not the.

[Elise Hu]

Yes. Got it. I only asked because of Texas, because you mentioned, like, when I went to nationals, like, all the husbands, all the.

[Dory Shafrir]

Men folk were there. But no, that actually seemed to be the exception, not. Not the rule at nationals. Like, it did seem like most people were not there with their spouses, that they had kind of done, like a girls trip, you know, for whatever it's worth.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah.

[Dory Shafrir]

But, yeah, we haven't done. We haven't done, like, hangs with this with the partners. I mean, and also not everyone is partnered, so.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Right.

[Elise Hu]

You don't want it to seem.

[Dory Shafrir]

Yeah, we don't want to seem like dividing light or anything.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah.

[Dory Shafrir]

But yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited for that. It'll be nice to just like, hang out with everyone without the, you know, pressure of a tournament. Yeah.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah. You can just socialize and eat and drink and Be merry. Fantastic.

[Dory Shafrir]

All right, before we get to our guest, just a reminder that you can visit our website, which is forever35podcast.com we have links there to everything we mentioned on the show. We are also on Instagram at february35podcast. Our patreon [e-mail] forever35 Our newsletter has moved over to Patreon. So you can join our Patreon at the free tier and get our newsletter. And then at the various other tiers there's all kinds of bonus content. We do our casual chats. We also have ad free episodes. We do monthly pop culture recommendation episodes. So there's a lot happening over on our Patreon and that'[e-mail] forever35 I should also mention that the Patreon like keeps the podcast going.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Yes.

[Dory Shafrir]

So if you, you know, if you like the show and you want it to keep going, please support us on Patreon. It really, it really does make a difference. So patreon.com forever35 our favorite are at shop my US forever35 our newsletter is on Patreon but you can also sign up via forever35podcast.com newsletter and you can call or text us at 781-591-0390. Email us at forever35podcastmail.com and as I mentioned before, our guest today is Hillary Lassoff. And Hillary played collegiate golf at Florida Tech. She is a poker enthusiast, a boxer, a vintage car lover and the founder of Bunker Club. And we are going to take a short break and we'll be right back with Hillary.

[Elise Hu]

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[Dory Shafrir]

Hillary, welcome to Forever 35. It's so good to see you and have you on the show.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Likewise Dorian Elise, thank you for having me.

[Dory Shafrir]

Yay. Well we start off our conversations with our guests by asking them the same question that we're going to ask you as well, which is what is a self care practice that you have?

[Hillary Lassoff]

I love self care and when I was looking at and falling in love with a Forever 35 podcast and I saw like and I don't want to jump the gun here so we may have to restart the podcast. But a skincare routine for me, for me a lot of like self help hasn't always been in skincare. It's been a lot more in other practices. I've been kind of recently. Golf is honestly a lot of my self help and my mental safe space. But yeah I do and starting to do more. A lot of meditation and kind of walking and being in nature and things like that again without jumping the gun. I'm a very simple girl when it comes to skin care, I will say and my girlfriend has gotten me very much more involved in understanding and learning skincare. I've learned brands that I didn't know I didn't know those existed before. Now there's like a regiment that I'm doing at night as well. But yeah, I mean for me self care is runs the gamut for me like of the entire day of what different things that I like to do or partake in that kind of yeah. Bring bring fun and peace to the day.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah. Yeah and for us, too, like, the show is about all different ways that we take care of ourselves. And it sounds like you get a lot of. You feel a certain kind of freedom and step into yourself by playing golf, which isn't true for a lot of us. Like me, I never really found it peaceful, but I would love to know kind of what you feel like, what you got out of it when you first fell in love with it, what it brings you today.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Yeah, well, at least I'm. Like I said before we even started the podcast and recording, I really am excited to golf with you and maybe not even change that perspective, but kind of get you golfing again and, like, finding a new love for it. Because I think it's my own experience, and I think a lot of people share in this experience is, as we know, golf is very rooted in a very specific culture that, as women, when we're young, growing up, it's not something actively that is presented to us or even welcomed to us, even if we have family members that play. I grew up. I didn't have any family that played golf. My mom had, like, a boyfriend when I was, like, 14, and he was a really big golfer. And so my mom fell in love with golf, and then I subsequently really fell in love with golf, and I was like a big athlete growing up. And I'm also like a twin, and I have a twin sister, and so very much. And I think even in hindsight, kind of almost in a way, like, competing for my own. Like, I grew up in team sports and, like, love team sports, but once I found golf at, like, a very young age, it was kind of almost this, like, individualism that I got to play and kind of create my own identity in. I got to. And even though golf clothes then kind of still now for women are, you know, we're working. They're working on that. We're working on. That's another conversation. But we got to, like, you know, I got to pick my own clothes. It wasn't just, like, the same uniform that you're going to throw on like the rest of your teammates. And I. And I do think, in retrospect and in hindsight, like, that was something really important for me to kind of have my own identity. So golf really gave me that. And I was able to. I used to hop the fence. I had a country club behind my house, and I would hop the fence and go play golf and just kind of make it my own when I. On my terms, when I wanted to go. So I fell in love with it. Really quickly, and I became, yeah, really good at golf, and I ended up going to school to play golf, and now, you know, working in the golf space and providing a space for women and for marginalized groups in the queer community to join in a sport that, yeah, has been rooted in a very different culture and a gatekeeping S culture. So, yeah, golf has been. Golf is. Has been all the things to me and has afforded me meeting so many amazing people. I've been to so many places to play golf. And so, yeah, having now being someone who can provide that opportunity to someone else through golf is really special to me.

[Dory Shafrir]

Yeah. So tell us about how you started Bunker Club, because when I met you, you had started Bunker Club. I did not know a pre Bunker club Hillary. So tell us kind of all about the genesis of it, why you wanted to start it, and how it's going.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Yeah. Dory, I'm so happy to know that girl. Bunker Club.

[Dory Shafrir]

Who is she?

[Hillary Lassoff]

I. Yeah, I worked in the ad industry for, like, 10 years. I look 13, but I'm really almost 35. So I worked in the ad industry for 10 years, and a bunch of my friends and, like, my queer. Like, my really good group of, like, queer girlfriends, we all played golf, like, ironically here in la. And we would go out a bunch, and, you know, we would. And I. And growing up in golf as women, you would get the similar, like, stairs on the golf course or stairs on the golf, or, you know, all the. I won't say misogynistic, but kind of just everything that kind of goes into women, like, approaching a golf course or being out on a golf course.

[Elise Hu]

So many dudes wanted to help me with my swing.

[Hillary Lassoff]

So many dudes. So many dudes want to come in and tell you. And I think that's. And it's so important because it's not about, like, a man versus a women thing, but in community, in women, we share something so special. And then when you filter that down to sub communities within that, like, the LGBTQ community and other, you know, multicultural groups and, like, other marginalized groups, like, we get to really find safe spaces and we get to learn better. We get to enjoy company more. And that's just. That just is. And that's, like, the beauty of community and us getting to. To pick and choose that. But, yeah, so we would go out a bunch to play golf, and I was like, oh, my God. And especially in la, as we know, like, there's not a ton of golf courses that you can kind of just post up at, right? Catch a vibe Have a cocktail after, have a. Have maybe have a dinner after. It's kind of almost, to me, it's. And it's, you know, it's a country club versus just a kind of like a public. You roll up. You don't have, like, your space or where you go or, like, where you want to hang out. So I kind of started bunker on the premise of, oh, my God, I love to play golf with the people I love the most. And wouldn't it be so cool to create an actual physical space in, like, a golf world? Almost kind of like if you guys watch the L Word of Any listeners have watched the L Word, like a planet mixed with a Soho house mixed with, like, a golf country club, but just for us and just for women and just for the queer community and like, this beautiful growing community that we're. That we're experiencing and that we're, you know, like, taking part in. So that was kind of like the premise for it. And then very quickly, it was like, all of a sudden, everybody was like, oh, my God, I grew up playing high school golf, Elise. Like, you're like, oh, my God, I played, like, golf with my dad, but, like, I never felt welcome. Or, oh, my God, like, I, you know, played golf in college, but, like, I don't really have a group of girls to like or group of queer women or, like, to go out and play golf with. And then the wheel started turning of, like, oh, my God, like, physical space. Yes. And like, maybe part two or three or four. But how can we actually build a really cool community where we can do golf and have fun and then we can also do really cool social events, too, that, like, we just get to kick it, like, Dory, at, like, our dinner. And, like, we have member dinners and really cool social events. And so, yeah, just trying to create. And I don't. Yeah. In a very real way, like a safe, special, different place that people can just come and, like, be themselves and set their day down or set something that they're going through down or have a safe space or really fun space to maybe talk to somebody else about it or feel, you know, like they can kind of open up and the bunker. What I've seen over the past 14 months is really kind of this, like, secret sauce magic of when people enter the space. And it is about the people. There's a flow there that people can just feel like. And Dory, you can. You're. Thank you for nodding your head. It's. That's what makes me so happy. Like, people can kind of just come and set. Set themselves down and, like, be themselves. And to me, creating spaces for anyone to do that is my complete passion.

[Elise Hu]

So just to be clear, Bunker Club is now a physical space, though the community around it, or it is going to be in step two or three. So right now you all organize events so that everybody can come together and then do people have to apply for membership? How do you become part of the Bunker Club?

[Hillary Lassoff]

Yeah, yeah, and I. And I like to think of it too, when someone in the club offered this up the other day. Shout out Denise Jones. She's a legend. It's almost kind of like this traveling golf, Traveling golf club. So we pop up at all of our favorite places all around the city and congregate there, and we kind of overtake that space. But, yes, very excited to hopefully build a physical space. We're starting a satellite membership as well. So people not in LA who want to partake and want to come to the golf retreats that we plan and want to come to different things and want to do more kind of digital stuff, they get to be a part of it, too, and feel connected. But yeah, right now you just go on our website and you fill an application to sign up for the club. Not in a gatekeeping way. We like to talk and kind of energy check and vibe check any person that's coming into the space and in the club. So, yeah, it's just you. You go onto the site, submit an application, we hop on a call, we hang out, we talk to any future member, and then from there they sign up and then we're kind of. They're. They're in the club.

[Elise Hu]

That's awesome. That's awesome.

[Dory Shafrir]

Can you talk about some of the events and clinics and retreats that you do?

[Hillary Lassoff]

Yeah, those get me so excited because we're constantly in a, like, think tank on, like, what this programming and what this curriculum is. And sometimes I can get. I'm like, thinking I want to do. I want, like, drones to deliver, like, cocktails to people when they, like, walk up to, like, these are, like, the things that I have to, like, sit down sometimes and, like, you know, like, take. Take it, take a breath. But we do a lot of dinners. We typically do, like, in the club, a monthly member dinner, where every single month, you know, you get to come to a dinner, hang out with a group of people. We do. We have been doing, like, a fun poker night, typically once a month. We've been trying to do. We host, like, really fun, amazing golf clinics. So anyone that, like any level Is like, welcome. So even if you've never played golf before in your life, if you're listening to this podcast or if you're on Instagram or you hear about this from a friend, and you're like, this sounds really fun, but I don't even know what golf is, you can still come and we teach you. Like, I wouldn't even say teach you golf, but teach you, like, it's okay to just show up to try something new. So we facilitate that. Yeah, in clinics on Saturdays, bi weekly, anytime anyone's like a super beginner, we callaway is like one of our, you know, like, partners. They've given us a ton of clubs, so we have all the equipment that anybody needs to ever come and do that. And then we also do really big retreats, like, bimonthly. We're actually planning one in Cabo right now. We're hoping to do a Japan trip in 2026. So, Elise, let's get you going. Dory, this is. This is the trip for you. But, yeah, we really try to plan really fun, different experiences where we're kind of like the golf VIP concierge for you every step of the way. So if you want to get better, if you want golf lessons, if you just want to come to the retreat and, like, hang out and play some golf, if you're a competitive golfer, and that's really important to you, and that's kind of part of the application interview process. And we're seeing that a lot more is, like, we want to know about you. Like, we want to service you as a member, like, in that reciprocity. Like, if you're a person that's coming to the club because you're super competitive, we're going to make sure that we put you in, like, the competitive groups of golf. So you're having the time and you're enjoying and you get to, like, have that competitive spirit. Whereas somebody that kind of just wants to come and kick it and, like, can I say, like, get high or whatever? Can I say on podcasts, like, just kind of come and, like, hang out and, like, take mushrooms and, like, look at nature, but, like, be with people, they get to participate in that as well. And because we know all the people, like, right now we have just over 100 women in the club, I hope that, like, no matter how big and how this business kind of flourishes and all the people that we reach, to me, like, the business is never going to outweigh, like, the human connection, the human touch of the people in the community.

[Elise Hu]

I Know this is going to come as a big, shocking breaking news alert to you as a golfer, but there was plenty of just getting stoned on the golf team in high school. Big surprise.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Elise, tell me more. Did you play better or worse is my question.

[Elise Hu]

Well, it made the guys way better. I could never partake because I get sort of dry mouth and my eyes get all red and they look like roadmaps, and then I can't focus. But the dudes, for whatever reason, it made them much better at golf.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Why did you stop golfing? Can I ask you? I don't want to interrupt your flow, but sure. Why did you stop golfing?

[Elise Hu]

I really only joined or only started playing golf because it was the easiest sport to get a varsity letter in. And there were so few women golfers. I never scored like under a hundred. Right. But for whatever reason, you could get recruited for colleges even just by being a women. A woman golfer.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Just by showing up.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, just by showing up. But really the reason why I needed to do it was because I grew up in Texas, where athletics are everything. They valued sports so much that you got sixth and seventh period for your athletics activity. So at my Plano, at Plano Senior High School, you would have off campus lunch, and after off campus lunch, sixth and seventh period were for your sport. And so I had to play a sport so that I could get out of school by noon. And then golf was a great one because all you had to do was go to your country club or your public golf course and go hit a bunch of balls. And the coach would just drive around from country club to course to country club to course, just to make sure you were there. Hitting a bass, hitting a bucket of balls.

[Hillary Lassoff]

And so the coach would travel to the places.

[Elise Hu]

Yes, that's right.

[Dory Shafrir]

He would just drive around team practice. At a. At a specific golf course, there was.

[Elise Hu]

Like two days of the week, but the other days you just went to your club.

[Hillary Lassoff]

So basically you were club.

[Elise Hu]

Correct. So basically you were just out of school at noon. And I was working a lot. I was doing my JC Penney catalog modeling and Levi's commercials and stuff like that. So I needed to be out of school.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Send those after the podcast.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, they're hilarious. So I needed to be out of school anyway to, like, go to castings and work. And so golf just worked out in a very practical way. And to this day, I'm still terrible at golf. But my brother is very good. My father is very good. My brother started a golf company. He was, like doing a tee time, booking system for all of the nation of China about 10 years ago. And so he's a big golf guy. Because the other athletes in my family are so athletic, I could just never compare and I just never really fully tried. Which is a segue to you, Hillary, because you mentioned you played other sports growing up and I was curious about your other sports and what just being in team sports gave to you, what that meant to you and how you feel like it shaped you.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Yeah. Oh, I love team sports. I played. I played every team sport that you could play. Like, my mom, my mom has two lesbian daughters. So good for her as twins. And she grew up like she, she wanted. She led us and put us in every single team sport. But then she also was like, obviously have to like, dip my toe. Dip their toe. And like dance and ballet and like tap. And I remember trying to do all that. But even as my mom says today, like, I just, I wasn't the tap dancing type. I was more of the, like, shoot a hoop and like kick a ball and like, maybe run into someone and like, you know, and get physical. So, yeah, I played basketball growing up. I played soccer growing up. I played a bunch of tennis. That's more individual, but I played a bunch of tennis. I'm a big pickleballer now. I do love pickleball, but yeah, I played softball growing up. Really, like every lacrosse, any and every sport. And I just love, I mean, I think this, it's the inner interwoven into. Yeah, like what we're, what we're saying, just being a part of a team, being around other women. I got to. We get to see and learn so much in a lot of those settings around people that we get to show up to a practice every single day or every week and get to see those same people and like, hang out and like build community and build rapport with them. The success, I think that a lot of women in sport have after sport is really special. And yeah, all of that. And I. So I think being in team sports is everything. Being in a team, in a community, in any way we can when we're young and when we're older is just really, really important. And you know, now more than ever.

[Dory Shafrir]

So we're just going to take a short break and we will be right back. Well, everybody, the holiday season is almost upon and masterclass is a great gift for the person who has everything, the person who wants some change in their life or the person who wants to become a better cook, writer, entrepreneur or artist, like they've always wanted that's the gift of Masterclass. With Masterclass, your loved ones can learn from the best to become their best. Masterclass is the only streaming platform where you can learn and grow with over 200 of the world's best. That's why Wirecutter calls it, quote an invaluable gift. So gift Unlimited Learning. Learn from any Masterclass instructor anywhere on a smartphone, computer, smart TV or even in audio mode. Help them build life changing habits with New York Times bestselling author James Clear, improve their physical and mental well being with gut and brain health experts and build stronger relationships with renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel. I still use nuggets of wisdom that I learned in my classes with Shonda Rhimes about TV writing, not to mention my class on poker with Daniel Negreanu. They were both amazing and the classes really make a difference. Three in four surveyed members feel inspired every time they watch Masterclass. Plus, every new membership comes with a 30 day money back guarantee, so there's no risk. Right now, Forever 35 listeners get an additional 15% off any annual [e-mail] Forever 35 that's 15% [e-mail] Forever 35 masterclass.com Forever 35 I am really feeling that the busy season has started. I don't know about you Elise. Yes, but I think what's really important is that we need to remember to put a little bit of ourselves first too. And we can do that with the brand new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus. Powered by Peloton iq, it's Peloton's most elevated equipment with real time guidance and endless ways to move alone or with your favorite instructors. It's cross training reimagined with features designed to help you reach your goals effortlessly. And personally, I know that having a plan helps me stay motivated. Knowing that I have a certain class on a certain day, even at a certain time, helps me move forward with my fitness goals. Even if I don't really want to show up on that certain day or certain time.

[Elise Hu]

I get it.

[Dory Shafrir]

Yeah, Peloton IQ provides just that with their personalized plans and recommendations. This can include weekly recommended classes led by instructors who match your mood, vibe and personality, not to mention the variety in workouts available. Go on a 45 minute run on the tread plus or a 5 minute stretch off of it with one smooth spin of that swivel screen. It offers endless ways to train for a well rounded routine. No matter how busy you are, let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push and go explore the new peloton cross training tread [e-mail].

[Elise Hu]

How do you like to be coached?

[Hillary Lassoff]

That's a really good question. Can I say I don't? No, I'm kidding.

[Elise Hu]

No. I've just been seeing so much different, so many different types of coaching now because I have three daughters and two of them are athletes and you know, each year they have different coaches and I'm seeing so many different ways of encouraging the girls to grow. And I'm just curious what you respond to or if there's overarching ideas about coaching that you feel like work or are effective that aren't necessarily specific to people I love.

[Hillary Lassoff]

That's very thought provoking. That's so real. Because it's such a good question. Honestly, up until very recently, I didn't quite understand or I, I didn't see that the way that, for example, in golf, the way that I was coached in golf my entire life. And again, being in a male dominant sport, like take a hyper focused male sport and insert like females trying to learn a lot of the time from like a male coach. Even today, I was always told, and women are still told, not not even just like, like in a coaching mechanism, but in like an actual teaching mechanism of a sport. Like, this is how you should do it and this is how the boys do it and this is what the swing is and you have to, you use your body to fit into that mold. And I, looking back, was doing that so much throughout my entire golf career and that was obviously all that I knew. But now, like my girlfriend, a partner who we run Bunker Club together, we actually met planning a golf event for Bunker Club like over the phone and fell in love. And like now we're doing this together and she's an incredible golf coach and like golf mentor to me. And it honestly wasn't up until like this past year when, because she's like my coach now and teaches me and just mentally and like, like she's so elevated in the way and she always says this and it's resonating so much in this conversation is like, it's not about teaching people how to play golf. It's teaching like a person. And so there's so many different mechanisms to like how to teach that person. And every single person is different. So it's not just someone coming. And we try to now to, in this hindsight, in the way I was coached and kind of never. I used to be told, like, I'm a really handsy golfer and I use like my hands A lot. I was always told from men, like, that's not the type of swing that you should have. You should have a much more like linear, straight, like up the line swing. And now like when we're kind of coaching together and when she's coaching me, it's like my hands are my best attribute and like leaning into that and having somebody in your life, whether you're like a really young girl and like your daughter's age or even in our adult life, having someone be able to look at you and see you if you're learning something new or even if you're seasoned and then and be like, no, actually that's. There's not one way to do something. And because you're a person that does this or thinks this way, or you know, your body is shaped this way or you had an injury and now like you can't rotate that much, like this is another way to do it. That's been a huge like aha moment to me. And we've been embodying that a lot in like the teaching within bunker and how we're kind of showing up for the people that really do want to learn and understand like, understand new thing because obviously that's super intimidating as well to show up in something new. So we want to make sure that, yeah, we're not just. It's not like a one size fits all. So I'm learning through everything that we're doing, which is very cool.

[Elise Hu]

Elise, do you sort of coaching the person? Yeah.

[Dory Shafrir]

Do your kids have female coaches or are they all men?

[Elise Hu]

The assistant coach for soccer and the assistant. Yeah, the assistant coaches are women and then the head coaches are men. Though I will say it warmed my heart to hear the head coach of my 13 year old's volleyball team say the other day that he won't let the girls watch game tape. And because my 8 year old has to watch game tape for her soccer games to see where they are on the field and see their shape. And I'm like, okay, they're in second and third grade, but that's cool.

[Dory Shafrir]

Whatever.

[Elise Hu]

For volleyball, because they're in seventh grade, the coach specifically said, I won't let any of these girls watch game tape. Don't show game tape to the girls if you can avoid it until they're older. Because nobody's harder on themselves than a 13 year old girl. And I think they're not gonna take the right lesson from watching themselves back. Cause they're gonna like, right? And I really liked that. I thought it was very tender and it was. It kind of saw the girls. And honestly, my older daughter ended up choosing a team this year where she knows no one else, but she really connected with the coach and the assistant coach because she felt sort of seen. And they had different cards to play and different ways to coach for the different girls on the team. And so I think that really tracks with what you're saying, is that ultimately you want a coach who sees you right, and is less focused on everybody else or everybody on the team fitting into this specific technical box. Because golf is very technical. So you. This is true of volleyball, too. And so there are certain mechanics that you have to get right to even get the loft on the ball or get a serve correct. But seeing what motivates the individuals could eventually get them to get the technical parts right, I think is what you're saying.

[Hillary Lassoff]

That's so special. I absolutely adore that. That's so special. We talk about that all the time. Like, I've always been showed video, like in golf videos, a really big teaching mechanism.

[Elise Hu]

There's video now, right?

[Hillary Lassoff]

There's so much video. And then I went to send. I was about to send a video to a lesson that we had, and my partner was like, no, they're not that. They're the type of person that is going to watch this video and critique. And that's not the point of what we're, like, what we're doing. And I want to get this person away from that. And I was like, oh, my God, you're so right. Like, I would watch this tape over and over and over, trying to be perfect.

[Dory Shafrir]

And.

[Hillary Lassoff]

And that's really cool. What, like, what's great about golf, too? Because it's. It's not about being perfect. It's not about hitting a perfect shot. It's like about just even, like from a day to day. It's just about showing up with what you have that day. And obviously, golf is so mental. And being mental, it's super emotional. If you are in an emotional state that day or something, you know, like, in whatever capacity you're pro for me, you're probably going to show up. Not like that's going to filter in to the golf and into the round. So it's almost two. We talk about, like, being really gentle with yourself and like, however you're showing.

[Dory Shafrir]

Up, for someone who has never played golf before, who might be listening, what is your kind of elevator pitch for why to take up golf, or at least, you know, try golf. What is it about golf that is so special?

[Hillary Lassoff]

I would say for all the masochists listening to this episode, Forever 35. It's a never ending pursuit. Up. No, but to me, golf, this is gonna sound really. I'll see it up this way. Golf, to me is very much. It mirrors life, like what we're kind of saying. It's very much a sport that you get to show up in how you want. You get to be an individual contributor to how you learn what you're learning, what you get to practice that day. I think especially learning something even like a little bit later in life, it's putting us back in that childlike mentality that you get to go out and, and learn something new and, and be humble. And if. I mean, we have a ton of like badass women in, in the club that like, are very hyper successful in like all of. In what they do, and then they're learning how to play golf and it's so humbling to them. And like, we get to kind of see that process where they get to like, like really set that down. So I don't want to say like, golf is therapy, but even if you just want to come and like, push yourself or test yourself or like, have some therapy or like learn something about yourself and then how awesome to do it in. In a community full of wonderful, amazing people.

[Elise Hu]

You haven't even mentioned the part about how you're spending hours and hours outside the.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Nature's every. The nature is everything. And then you get to like, go to good, different golf courses around the country, around your neighborhood, around the world. Like, playing golf is so fun. You get. And then obviously, if you're looking to, you know, retire and still be super active at 90 in Palm Springs, you and your partner, your wife or your husband, you guys have something to do for the rest of your life. It's beautiful.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Yeah.

[Elise Hu]

I wonder if I would have liked golf more had I been able to drive a cart around, because on the golf team you have to walk. You always walk the nine holes, you always walk the 18. And so it was just a lot of walking around with your bag on your back.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Yeah, more of like my memory point.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah.

[Hillary Lassoff]

No, yeah, it's like more of like a leisure, like. Right. Like what golf. What do you like about golf? Like, to your point, a lot of people want to just go to a beautiful place in nature, drive a golf cart, have a, have a beer, have a glass of wine, waiting there in the golfer when you're done hitting the shot like you make it your own and you don't have to hit every shot Even. Or you don't have to get out of the golf cart. You don't have to schlep a bag for four hours and just feel like you're like, every step is, like, your last step, and you get to kind of make golf your own. And that's, like, the choice, right? And I think the way that golf is going to. Like, a lot of people are putting their stake in the ground of, like, how to make golf more accessible, even, you know, from a timing perspective, how to make golf, like, play. Like, how to make play more quick. Even when we do a lot of the, you know, team events, it's very much like, in a scramble where people, no matter what their level is, they don't have to go and be like, every shot is, like, the most important, and they can kind of set that down and be like, my teammate's gonna hit the next shot, or, like, this is, like, for, like, fun prizes, or like, kind of how to just, like, make this fun. And it doesn't feel like it's this big. Like, like, heavyweight, at least great. Like, even in the metaphor, like, weight to carry every single time you step up to that shot. Because it is daunting, and golf is so daunting, and it is so time consuming. How do we just kind of set a lot of that perception down and make it really fun? And I think that's really cool.

[Elise Hu]

Okay, quick question before we let you go. Favorite golf movies?

[Hillary Lassoff]

Oh, my God, I don't want to go. This is so fun. I love you guys. And I didn't even have to talk about skin care because I was.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, we can chat offline anytime.

[Hillary Lassoff]

You know, let's not offline. Well, mine was just like, a water and a serum, and, like, I was feeling embarrassed by that.

[Elise Hu]

Our interviews do not focus on skincare exclusively at all.

[Hillary Lassoff]

I know. I'm playing.

[Elise Hu]

I know. Yeah. But yes, My question was favorite golf movies. I love golf movies. Yes. What are yours?

[Hillary Lassoff]

Okay, my favorite And. And Elise story. We're gonna watch golf movies together, so you're gonna be able to. We're gonna be able to talk about this as well. That's one of them, not the second one. And I don't want to hate on that one, but that was kind of wild. That was a while ago.

[Elise Hu]

That seemed like a money grab, right?

[Hillary Lassoff]

It was a money graph. Thank you, Tin Cup. Hands down.

[Elise Hu]

I was about to say that. Renee Russo, Kevin Costner. Excellent chemistry.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Kevin Costner.

[Elise Hu]

Yes.

[Hillary Lassoff]

I mean, just next level. The greatest game ever played. Did you. Have you seen that? Disney Movie I haven't seen. Oh, one of. One of the best. And then my, like, third I'll wrap in three. We love in threes is the Legend of Bagger Bands with Will Smith and Matt Damon.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, that one's good. The only thing I would change is I would also add Caddyshack.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Oh, Cat. I mean, I actually played on that golf course in college, and it was so fun because the entire pro shop was, like, loudmouth and the whole thing. It was just cool to kind of be there and be like, oh, that was like. Yeah, it's. I. That's a great movie.

[Elise Hu]

I love that.

[Hillary Lassoff]

I still wrote it.

[Elise Hu]

I still like. Oh, I have that going for me, which is nice. Yes.

[Dory Shafrir]

Yeah.

[Hillary Lassoff]

No, actually. Actually, this was so fun, you guys. I love you so much. And I would love to get Elise, you playing golf again, if you would like. And Dory, I still have my own clubs out there.

[Elise Hu]

They're vintage now.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Let's go.

[Elise Hu]

But Callaway. So that's. That lines up with your sponsor, which is fantastic.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Yep. Oh, fantastic.

[Elise Hu]

How can folks find you, Hillary?

[Hillary Lassoff]

You can go to the Instagram Bunker Club LA on Instagram. We post a ton there. Information's on there. And then on the website, if anybody wants to submit an application for membership, it's Bunker Club la dot com.

[Dory Shafrir]

Also, I just want to mention that Bunker Club has the best merch. Everything is so cool. I'll just leave it at that.

[Hillary Lassoff]

We love merch. Thanks, Dory. We love merch. We love merch. We love good apparel.

[Dory Shafrir]

Yeah, Everything looks so good. So even if you're not a member, you can still buy some merch. Just gonna say that.

[Elise Hu]

Fantastic. You can patronize the club. You can support the club.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Ready to send you guys some merch. Love you both.

[Dory Shafrir]

Love you, too.

[Elise Hu]

Thanks, Hillary.

[Dory Shafrir]

Thank you so much.

[Hillary Lassoff]

Yeah.

[Dory Shafrir]

Yeah.

[Hillary Lassoff]

And see you guys soon.

[Dory Shafrir]

All right. Well, I'm glad we got to talk to Hillary.

[Elise Hu]

Yes, yes, I do want to meet her in person. It does seem like we would have a good time hanging out or just, like, riding around. I don't really want to golf, as you know, but I will ride around on a golf cart or have somebody drive me around on a golf cart. That would be fun.

[Dory Shafrir]

She's a good hang. So recommend. Now, intentions. Last week, my intention was to stretch. I did not do too much stretching, I have to admit. And we had talked on a different episode about how maybe this was a casual chat that my tennis coach had told me that, like, I basically told me I should do, like, conditioning, like, strength training.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah.

[Dory Shafrir]

And not that this is, like, breaking news, but it was a good. Just like, okay, get off your butt and do some strength training.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dory Shafrir]

Because I had been doing it, and I kind of stopped, and so I'm gonna try to get back into it. How about you, Elise?

[Elise Hu]

Well, I'm supportive of that. I feel the same way that I need to get back into strength as well. And we just recently had Cadence Debuss on, too. And I should mention, one of our listeners, my friend Pamela, said that she listened to the Cadence Debuss episode and was very inspired. And so she went to Target, bought a kettlebell, is now doing Cadence's kettlebell program. And she was like, all you need is one kettlebell. She's like, it's not bad. You should try it. So maybe as you get back into strength, there's a wreck for you. Maybe do Cadence's program. So anyway, my intention was to sleep more because I had a deficit, and I wanted to get to bed an hour earlier each night. And I have failed pretty miserably at that. There's a bunch of factors that have made it an issue, which is, first, my middle daughter Issa got sick, and then a couple nights later, my middle daughter Luna got sick. And so when you have kids that are up in the middle of the night because they're sick, you know, like, it's sure to disrupt your sleep. And then at one point, I accidentally locked Abe, my cat, in the room. And so then he was scratching at me to wake me up because he wanted out of my bedroom.

[Dory Shafrir]

Oh, no.

[Elise Hu]

I know. He likes to be able. He doesn't like closed doors. He likes to be able to get in and out. And so I had closed the door on him, and he was very unhappy, and that disrupted my sleep. So instead of re upping sleep, because I don't think it's going to happen in this coming week, I'm going to do something very concrete and measurable as my intention, which is daughter Ava with the ankle strength or ankle sprain issues. She has homework now from her PT to strengthen her lower back chain and her ankles. And so she has, like, five or six exercises that she's supposed to do each day, and I'm gonna try and do those with her. I'll just try and follow along to partially encourage her to do it, but also because I could benefit from some of these strengthening exercises. So that will be my intention.

[Dory Shafrir]

Well, there you go. Okay. Well, Forever 35 is hosted and produced by me, Dory Shafrir and Elise Hu, and Produced and edited by Sam Hunio Sammy Reed is our Project Manager and our network partner is Acast. Thanks everybody.

[Elise Hu]

Talk to you next time.

[Dory Shafrir]

Bye.

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[Dory Shafrir]

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