Forever35 — Episode 377: Teeing It Up with Hilary Lassoff

Date: November 10, 2025
Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Guest: Hilary Lassoff, founder of Bunker Club

Overview

This episode centers on self-care through community and sports, focusing especially on women and queer representation in golf. Doree and Elise welcome Hilary Lassoff, founder of Bunker Club—a social club for women, queers, and underrepresented voices in golf. Through humorous and candid conversation, they explore Hilary’s journey, what Bunker Club stands for, and why golf can be a uniquely empowering act of self-care.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up and Good News (04:02–11:00)

• Hosts celebrate recent political victories, particularly in Virginia, and note the role their community played through charitable giving.
• Commentary on robust voter turnout and the positive energy in typically bleak times.
• Lighthearted conversation about parenting logistics: kids’ birthday parties, dealing with sensory overload, and dividing parenting duties.

Notable Quote:
“Yay for democracy, yay for turnout in an off year. I’m pleasantly surprised because it’s been feeling pretty bleak. But let us just celebrate this one night that was pretty phenomenal.” —Elise Hu [06:46]

2. Introduction to Hilary Lassoff (14:39–15:02)

• Doree introduces Hilary as a golfer, poker player, boxer, vintage car enthusiast, and most notably, founder of Bunker Club.
• Hilary is described as gregarious, community-minded, and energetic. Doree recounts DM’ing Hilary after learning about Bunker Club.

3. Hilary’s Approach to Self-Care & Mental Wellness (15:02–16:13)

• Hilary’s self-care is holistic, extending far beyond skincare into practices like meditation, walking, and, importantly, golf.
• Her girlfriend has recently helped deepen her engagement with skincare, but Hilary stresses simple routines and finding mental peace in nature and sport.

Notable Quote:
“For me, self-care runs the gamut. Different things I like to do or partake in that bring fun and peace to the day.” —Hilary Lassoff [15:02]

4. Golf as Self-Care & Personal Growth (16:13–19:18)

• Hilary describes golf as both an athletic and personal identity builder, offering her a sense of independence from a young age.
• Notes the historical lack of welcome for women and LGBTQ+ people in golf and how Bunker Club addresses this.
• Golf became Hilary’s “mental safe space,” allowing her to meet diverse people and eventually inspired the idea for Bunker Club.

Notable Quote:
“It was almost this individualism that I got to play and create my own identity in.” —Hilary Lassoff [16:46]

5. Founding Bunker Club: Mission & Community Building (19:18–23:28)

• Bunker Club emerged from a realization that LA lacked inclusive golf and social spaces for women and queer community members.
• Hilary describes wanting to create a “golf world” akin to a blend of The L Word’s Planet, Soho House, and a country club—just for underrepresented groups in golf.
• Community is at the heart: social events, member dinners, and creating environments where people can fully be themselves.

Notable Quote:
“It’s not about a man versus women thing, but in community, in women, we share something so special… we get to really find safe spaces and learn better.” —Hilary Lassoff [20:22]

6. The Structure and Access to Bunker Club (23:28–24:53)

• Events are “traveling,” popping up at various LA locations.
• Physical space is a goal for the future. There are plans for satellite memberships and digital connection.
• The membership process involves an application and a mutual “energy and vibe check”—emphasizing intentional, positive community building.

7. Bunker Club Programming: Events, Clinics, and Retreats (24:55–27:50)

• Monthly member dinners, poker nights, bi-weekly golf clinics (for all levels, total beginners welcome), social events, and retreats (Cabo, Japan).
• Callaway donates clubs for use by new golfers—eliminating barriers to entry.
• Programming tailored to competitive golfers and casual/curious participants alike, with an emphasis on human connection over business growth.

Memorable Exchange:
“If you’re a person that’s super competitive, we make sure to put you in the competitive groups… whereas somebody that just wants to come and kick it... they get to participate in that as well.” —Hilary Lassoff [26:32]

8. Golf, Identity, and Family History (27:50–32:44)

• Elise shares her own (reluctant) golf background, noting how sports culture shaped her adolescence in Texas.
• Hilary talks about being a twin and trying many team sports—not just golf—reiterating the value of team and community.

9. Coaching Styles: Growth & Gender Dynamics (35:42–41:10)

• Discussion of how coaching approaches affect skill and self-perception, especially for girls and women.
• Hilary contrasts the male-dominated, “one size fits all” methods of her youth with more individualized, affirming coaching today.
• Importance of seeing each student (child or adult) as unique, and coaching “the person” rather than just the technical skill.

Notable Quote:
“It’s not about teaching people how to play golf. It’s teaching a person.” —Hilary Lassoff [36:21]

10. Why Should (More) Women Try Golf? (42:19–44:34)

• Golf is humbling, childlike, and confidence-building. It provides a rare chance to start something new as an adult, whether casually or competitively.
• The health and social benefits—being outdoors, longevity, global accessibility—are highlighted.

Notable Quote:
“Golf, to me, very much mirrors life… you get to show up how you want and be an individual contributor… It’s putting us back in that childlike mentality that you get to go out and learn something new and be humble.” —Hilary Lassoff [42:35]

11. Making Golf Fun & Accessible (44:34–45:57)

• Hilary and Elise talk about lowering barriers and removing the intimidation factor.
• Emphasis on play styles, pace, allowing fun and leisure, and not requiring perfection or technical mastery.

12. Favorite Golf Movies (45:57–47:33)

• “Tin Cup,” “The Greatest Game Ever Played,” “The Legend of Bagger Vance,” and “Caddyshack” all get shoutouts.
• Light banter about golf movie nostalgia.

13. How to Connect with Hilary & Bunker Club (48:01–48:29)

• Find Bunker Club on Instagram: @bunkerclubla and at bunkerclubla.com
• Bunker Club merch also available: noted by Doree as “so cool.”

Notable Quotes

• On golf and community:
  “To me, creating spaces for anyone to do that is my complete passion.” —Hilary Lassoff [22:53]

• On breaking gender coaching molds:
  “Now...having someone be able to look at you and see you...and be like, there’s not one way to do something.” —Hilary Lassoff [36:21]

• On trying new things:
  “It’s so humbling to them…you get to really set that down. I don’t want to say golf is therapy, but…you learn something about yourself.” —Hilary Lassoff [43:04]

• On perfection in sport (and life):
  “It’s not about being perfect…It’s just about showing up with what you have that day.” —Hilary Lassoff [41:46]

Segment Timestamps

• 04:02: Doree & Elise highlight election victories and celebrate democracy.
• 14:39: Guest Hilary Lassoff introduced.
• 15:02–16:13: Hilary’s self-care practices, emphasis on meditation and golf.
• 16:46–19:18: Hilary’s personal golf story and value of individual sports.
• 19:18–23:28: Founding and philosophy of Bunker Club.
• 24:55–27:50: Bunker Club’s events, clinics, and inclusivity.
• 35:42–41:10: In-depth on coaching, gender, and individualized teaching.
• 42:19–44:34: Hilary’s pitch for newcomers to golf; emotional and social benefits.
• 45:57–47:33: Favorite golf movies discussion.
• 48:01–48:29: How to find Bunker Club and its standout merch.

Tone and Style

The conversation is open, supportive, and often funny. Both hosts champion self-care in its many forms, blending practical tips with honest self-reflection. Hilary’s passion for building inclusive spaces is palpable, and her answers are warm, candid, and inclusive.

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is for anyone curious about finding (or making) their place in a frequently gatekept activity, the joy of community and women’s sports, and the many facets—emotional, social, and physical—of self-care as we age. Whether you’re an athlete, a self-care devotee, or simply love a story of community innovation, you’ll find plenty of inspiration and pragmatic wisdom here.

For more:

• Instagram: @bunkerclubla
• Membership/Merch: bunkerclubla.com