Forever35 Podcast Episode 395: Who You Are Without All The Stuff with Hayley DeRoche

Date: March 30, 2026
Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Guest: Hayley DeRoche (aka Sad Beige)

Episode Overview

This episode explores the interplay between self-care, consumerism, and identity, focusing on how the aesthetics and pressures of parenting—and life in general—are shaped by the market, the algorithm, and social expectations. Guest Hayley DeRoche (online as Sad Beige), humorist, poet, and new author of The Sad Beige Parent Handbook, joins Doree to discuss her viral social satire, the joy of analog connection, and questioning who we are outside of what we own or perform. The conversation ranges widely, from the pressures of parenting in the social media age, to detangling personal worth from consumer aesthetics, to resisting algorithm-driven living—and reclaiming joy in community and simple rituals.

Key Discussion Points

1. Self-Care Rituals: Poetry as Nourishment

• [11:14] Hayley shares her nightly ritual of writing a poem before bed:
  • “It kind of forces me to think creatively before I go to bed. It’s just kind of…been this really freeing practice. And like, you know, if I forget one night, it’s fine, but, but it’s been really good for me.” — Hayley DeRoche [11:14]
  • She acknowledges it’s not “screen-free,” since she types on her phone, but the creative routine grounds her nights and helps her process the day.

2. Who is Sad Beige? The Origin Story

• [13:33] Hayley describes her evolution from foster care content creator to viral comedy persona:
  • The “Sad Beige” character originated from a joke about the trend of neutrals and “sad beige” toys for children, delivered in a parody of Werner Herzog.
  • “I'm mostly known for the sad beige toys for sad beige children jokes.” — Hayley DeRoche [13:33]

3. Parenting, Aesthetics & the Influence of Capitalism

• [15:43]–[18:50] Doree and Hayley examine the way parenting trends are influenced (and policed) by consumerism:
  • Modern parenting is inescapably entwined with internet marketing algorithms targeting new parents, making it hard for people to parent authentically.
  • “As soon as the Internet figures out that you're expecting a baby, you are a target… It’s very, very difficult to parent outside of this tornado of information trying to influence you.” — Hayley DeRoche [16:49]
  • Hayley reflects on the guilt and class aspects: not being able to afford a certain product or experience can make parents feel inferior, though “there’s so much more to it than just an aesthetic… it’s this feeling of guilt that’s following people around.” [18:50]

4. Identity Beyond Stuff: The Sad Beige Parent Handbook

• [19:44]–[21:53] On her new book, Hayley hopes parents rediscover themselves and their kids as people, not just consumers:
  • “Figure out who you are as a parent and also figure out and love who your kid really is without all of the stuff in the way…You are, in a sense, your child’s influencer, the biggest one.” [19:44]
  • She also talks about the importance and joy of community, notably her “mom group,” emphasizing empathy and connection with other parents.

5. The Harm of Social Media Mediation & Embracing Analog Life

• [22:24]–[26:35] Hayley discusses the downsides of a life mediated by social media and AI, advocating for real-life, analog experiences:
  • “I don't need AI to write a lullaby for my kid. Like, I can do that. I don't want to just queue up some random recording…there's this human element that's just so necessary…It's just life.” — Hayley DeRoche [23:06]
  • Hayley sees value in resisting the urge to immortalize or perform every parenting moment for digital audiences—and instead prioritizing sacred, offscreen connection.
  • She warns against the temptation to let tech or content rob us of presence: “I don't want to watch my kids through a screen...there’s something sacred that I want to try and keep...” [26:10]

6. Performance Art & Late Stage Capitalism: ‘Drive to Target’

• [28:43]–[35:13] Hayley explains her viral, satirical “Drive to Target” TikTok poetry series, which riffs on trending consumer headlines:
  • She uses a style called “detournement” to subvert algorithmic logic, blending headlines and repetitive advertising language to reveal darker truths about consumerism and social priorities.
  • “I’m taking those…and then kind of whittling them down…through a funnel almost…which is basically the news and reality that that algorithm is very effectively hiding.” — Hayley DeRoche [30:56]
  • The series is both a critique of how our attention is manipulated, and a meta-commentary on digital censorship, particularly as ownership and power in platforms shift.

7. Reading from ‘The Sad Beige Parent Handbook’

• [36:37]–[39:32] Hayley shares an excerpt from her book’s satirical advice column, “Dear Abyss,” which delivers timeless (and humorously cosmic) parenting guidance:
  • “A new child is thus an old child, and an old child forever a new one...continue as you are going, but double it...Let the ribbon of time unfurl as it may. Let the stars fall, all will be well.” — Dear Abyss, Read by Hayley DeRoche [39:06]

8. On Book Events, Connection, and Where to Find Hayley

• Hayley shares details of her upcoming book events (Richmond, Chicago, New York, Baltimore, possibly Columbus), and invites listeners to connect on TikTok (@sadbeige), Instagram (@officialsadbeige), and Substack (Weird, But Okay).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Parenting & Consumerism:
  • “It's very, very difficult to parent outside of this tornado of information trying to influence you…If you don’t buy this, you’re not a good parent.” — Hayley DeRoche [16:49]
• On AI & Real-Life Experience:
  • “I don’t need AI to write a lullaby for my kid. Like, I can do that. There’s this human element that’s just so necessary…It's just life.” — Hayley DeRoche [23:06]
• On Social Media & Presence:
  • “I don't want to watch my kids through a screen…There’s something sacred that I want to try and keep where you can.” — Hayley DeRoche [26:10]
• On Subversive Art:
  • “In this funny way to me, I’m using the tool of the algorithm against the algorithm, and which is very juicy for me.” — Hayley DeRoche [30:56]
• On Community:
  • “I love my kids, but my mom group is one of the big loves of my life. And it's lovely and beautiful and, like, how lucky that you get to meet these people because of a specific life phase…” — Hayley DeRoche [21:53]

Important Timestamps

• 11:14 — Hayley's nightly poetry self-care ritual
• 13:33 — The Sad Beige persona origin story
• 15:43–16:49 — Discussion of parenting aesthetics and algorithmic influence
• 19:44 — Hayley on finding identity outside of marketing
• 23:06 — Hayley on AI and the importance of analog, real-life connection
• 28:43 — Introduction to “Drive to Target” performance poetry series
• 30:56 — Artistic philosophy behind the series
• 36:49 — Hayley’s “Dear Abyss” advice column reading
• 39:44 — Book tour and where to find Hayley online

Tone & Atmosphere

The conversation is warm, funny, and self-aware, balancing critique and satire with genuine affection for parenting, friendship, and creativity. The tone blends humor with honesty—Doree and Hayley share both frustrations with and joy in modern life, encouraging listeners to question the forces shaping our choices and to find grounding in simple, real-life practices and communities.

Final Thoughts

This episode is an insightful and imaginative conversation for anyone who’s ever felt pressured by trends, algorithms, or social expectations—and who wonders who they might be without all the “stuff.” Through wry humor and practical wisdom, it offers reminders to reconnect with community, creativity, and ourselves.

Where to Find More:

• Hayley DeRoche:
  • TikTok: @sadbeige
  • Instagram: @officialsadbeige
  • Substack: “Weird, But Okay”
• The Sad Beige Parent Handbook: Out April 21, available everywhere books are sold.
• Forever35 Podcast: forever35podcast.com