Forever35 Podcast: Mini-Ep 463 "You Can Just Say No"

Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Date: October 1, 2025

Episode Overview

In this mini-episode, Doree and Elise answer listener questions and share advice on self-care topics ranging from skincare samples and night creams to decluttering closets, quitting coffee, practicing gratitude, and coping with burnout. Interwoven with their trademark humor and honesty, the episode also delves into personal updates, reflections on setting boundaries, and listener-driven wisdom.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter & Personal Check-ins

Timestamp: 01:52–07:28

• Podcast Saturation & Job Statistics:
  The hosts joke about the vast number of podcasts versus journalists and coal miners in the US, reflecting on media changes.

  • “There are 6 million podcasts right now. There are? Yeah. So who isn’t a podcast host?” – Elise (02:24)
  • “I think it’s fewer newspaper reporters than there are coal miners.” – Elise (02:52)

• Library Volunteering & Executive Function:
  Doree shares her experience volunteering at her son Henry’s school library, dealing with forgotten books, and relating it back to broader discussions of responsibility.

  • “I did not forget your library book. That is your responsibility.” – Doree (04:08)
  • The school still uses the Dewey Decimal System for non-fiction. Elise and Doree reminisce about learning library systems.

• Morning Routines & Technology:
  Elise recounts her morning struggle when her daughter Ava overslept, discussing typical wake-up routines and parenting hustle.

  • “Today I woke up, but then if I need to wake up before that, the alarm is Ava.” – Elise (06:10)

• Patreon Event & Social Energy:
  Discussion about attending a Patreon creators’ event, including decisions about social battery, “rallying,” and meeting other podcasters, like “Reality Gays” and “Cooking with Congress”.

  • “My social battery feels low. I cannot wrap my head around having conversations with people I don’t really know.” – Doree (07:56)
  • “He’ll just like, okay, this is what Woodrow Wilson ate in a single day. And he’d just eat liverwurst or whatever…” – Elise on “Cooking with Congress” (10:02)
  • Reflection on the social dynamics and podcasters’ creative niches.

2. Listener Correspondence: Salty Rants, Packaging & Boundaries

Timestamp: 16:16–19:36

• Affirmation of “Salty” Opinions:
  Listeners express appreciation for Doree’s assertive takes.

  • “Dory, I would say you sounded confident in your beliefs, like someone who cares about integrity, not salty or self-righteous.” – Listener email (16:16)
  • “I’m happy to go on more rants at any time. I have a lot of thoughts and now you have given me permission.” – Doree (17:10)

• Packaging Waste & Industry Expertise:
  A listener with a PhD in packaging weighs in on refillable beauty products and effective recycling.

  • “The most useful thing for the environment is to only buy things you use completely.” – Listener with PhD in packaging (17:59)
  • Sanitation and shelf life are barriers to bulk beauty products; follow Adam Minter for recycling insights.

• On Saying No to Samples:
  Listeners share realizations about declining unnecessary product samples.

  • “When I’m offered the wee samples at the store, I just…turn them down. I realize this sounds self-evident, but it took me years to realize I could do that.” – Listener Shalaka (23:20)
  • “If enough people do this, then they’ll slow down the useless production of samples.” – Shalaka (23:52)
  • Doree and Elise agree that women are often socialized to accept unwanted things to be polite.

3. Color Analysis, Laser Hair Removal & Style Confidence

Timestamp: 19:37–24:24

• Color Analysis Experiences:
  A listener details the transformative effect of professional color and style analysis, helping boost confidence and intentionality in clothing choices.

  • “I told my stylist I always felt schlubby dressing down like everyone else does here in LA. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, ‘But you don’t have to dress like that.’ It was therapy.” – Listener Chelsea (21:32)

• Laser Hair Removal Advice:
  Multiple listeners recommend at-home devices (notably Braun and Nood/Nuud), highlighting cost-effectiveness, ease, and good results—especially for lighter skin tones and darker hair.

  • “Armpits super fast and legs too. I’ve been really happy. I should say: I’m in my late 40s, I think my hair is getting thinner overall, but it was great.” – Listener voicemail (22:30)

4. Workplace Burnout: Setting Boundaries Without Quitting

Timestamp: 25:56–31:25

• Listener Question:
  A working mom with severe burnout asks: Can you recover from burnout without quitting the job that’s causing it?

• Hosts’ Practical Advice:
  Doree and Elise validate the struggle, emphasizing the importance of personal and systemic boundaries:

  • “I would set an automated message that you don’t respond to people outside of work hours…Change starts with you.” – Doree (27:46)
  • “You and the boss could together say, all right, we’re going to have some boundaries around Slack, where after a certain time, you know, we will not expect a response.” – Elise (30:57)

• Industry Norms & Care:

  • Acknowledge that advertising can be relentless, but reinforce that 24/7 urgency is rarely justified.
    • “We’re not curing cancer here, and even if we were, I wouldn’t want you to do it at 1 in the morning.” – Doree (28:45)

• Encouragement to the Community:

  • Both hosts ask for more listener perspectives: day-to-day strategies to resist workplace overwhelm, maintain self-care, and assert boundaries.

5. Fun Grab Bag & J.Lo Movie Opinions

Timestamp: 31:25–32:55

• J.Lo Movie Recommendations:
  Audience weighs in on the “best JLo movie,” nominating “Enough” for its suspense and satisfying action.
  • “The best JLO movie is Enough. A lot of suspense and she kicks some serious well-deserved ass in the end. That’s all.” – Listener text (32:32)
  • Doree admits she hasn’t seen it but is intrigued.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I think the change starts with you.” – Doree (27:46)
• “You don't have to dress like that.” – Chelsea's stylist, relayed by listener (21:32)
• “We can just say no to stuff. I know. Actually speaks to a social problem—women are socialized to be pleasing.” – Elise (24:24)
• “I have a lot of thoughts and now you have given me permission.” – Doree (17:10)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Podcast/journalism stats & job changes: 02:24–03:11
• Library volunteering stories & executive functioning: 03:19–05:36
• Morning routines & Patreon event: 05:38–12:13
• Listener letter about being ‘salty’ & boundaries: 16:16–17:30
• Expert packaging advice: 17:37–19:04
• Color analysis & style transformation: 19:37–21:53
• Laser hair removal recommendations: 21:55–23:20
• Saying no to product samples: 23:20–24:24
• Listener question about burnout: 25:56–31:25
• J.Lo movie opinions: 32:32–32:48

Tone & Takeaways

• The episode is honest, approachable, and gently humorous, with the hosts encouraging self-advocacy, mindful consumption, and realistic self-care.
• The Forever35 community demonstrates mutual support, creative problem-solving, and a willingness to challenge the status quo, whether in beauty routines, work-life boundaries, or simply how we respond to free samples at Sephora.
• Doree and Elise blend practical advice with their lived experiences and flexible, forgiving attitudes toward personal growth and self-care.

Resources/Links Mentioned

• Instagram clips: @forever35podcast
• Newsletter: forever35podcast.com/newsletter
• Shop recommendations: shopmy.us/forever35
• Patreon: patreon.com/forever35
• Packaging/recycling expert: Adam Minter

Listener Call to Action:
Send in your experiences with burnout solutions, sample declines, color analysis, or other self-care dilemmas for community wisdom and support.