Forever35 Mini-Ep 467: “We Can Relate”

Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Date: October 29, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively and relatable mini-episode, Doree and Elise answer listeners' questions about skincare, the emotional and financial challenges of caring for aging parents, navigating career changes in today's evolving job market, and ways of supporting friends going through IVF. The conversation is candid, practical, and filled with the hosts’ signature warmth and sense of humor.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Doree’s Tennis Nationals Recap (01:43–06:18)

• Brief update: Doree returns from competing in the USTA Recreational Tennis National Championships.
• Highlights:
  • The team made semifinals by a single set.
  • The experience was intense but fun, with teammates bonding over the shared house (with its own tennis court) and road trip.
  • Plans to share more details in the next episode during a special crossover.
• Memorable moment: “People play recreational tennis their whole lives and never get to go to nationals. And I feel really grateful and lucky that I got to go.” — Doree (04:19)

2. Listener Feedback on Aging Parents (06:26–12:48)

A. Reflections on Culture & Aging

• Episode with Vanessa about caring for aging parents resonated deeply with listeners.
• Elise notes the erasure of older generations:
  “Culture has long valorized youth... In this tech optimization world... we’re sort of not allowed to age...” — Elise (07:10)

B. Financial Realities and Privilege

• A listener raises concern about past advice to “set aside $100,000 for parents’ care”—calling it unrealistic.
• Doree shares her own family’s experience:
  • Grandparents relied on a reverse mortgage and Medicaid for eldercare (08:37–09:45).
  • Recognizes layers of privilege beyond finances—having family support and advocacy.

C. Multigenerational Living & Estrangement

• Challenges of multigenerational households and caring for estranged parents are discussed.
• Powerful listener note:
  “The very things that led me to the difficult decision to become estranged are the ones that reassure me I need not shoulder the burden of caring for that parent ever in the future.” — Listener (11:10–12:05)
• Elise offers support to those with difficult family dynamics, particularly in cultures emphasizing “filial piety” (12:05–12:48).

3. Skincare Q&A: Vitamin E Oil (15:24–17:18)

• Listener tip: Using vitamin E oil for healing skin and extra moisture.
• Doree: Not a regular user but notes that vitamin C and E are often combined in products.
• Elise:
  • Remembers using vitamin E oil (from capsules) as a lip moisturizer since her teen years.
  • Recommends Sunday Riley CEO Glow Face Oil and Oribe Face & Body Oil.
  • Tips for winter: “Just open up one of the Nature Made supplements, pat it on my lips. It’s a very hacky way to use it.” — Elise (16:23)

4. Big Career Changes & Skill-Based Hiring (17:34–22:05)

A. Skill-Based Hiring vs. Traditional Degrees (17:34–18:57)

• HR professional writes in: Companies increasingly value skill-based hiring—certifications or project-based skills may hold more weight than a degree.
• Doree acknowledges skepticism about certifications but recognizes their growing relevance.

B. Using AI to Transition Careers (19:14–22:05)

• Listener shares method: Pastes resume and target job description into ChatGPT to tailor both resume and cover letter for new fields.
• Result: “Its recommendations were incredible… I would encourage the listener to try to utilize AI as much as possible... it has been hugely beneficial to me.” — Listener (21:18)
• Doree: “If you’re using AI, I think that’s fine. In this current hellscape of job searching, I don’t fault anyone.” (19:45)

5. Parenting: Guiding a “Lost” Young Adult (22:13–24:40)

• Parent with a 19-year-old in community college seeks advice on how to help her son find his path—possibly outside the traditional four-year college route.
• Elise’s advice:
  • Focus on what energizes him, not just traditional career paths.
  • “What would he do even if he weren’t paid for it?” (23:25)
  • Encourages valuing a rich leisure life and not tying identity solely to one's job.
• Doree commends the parent's supportive approach.

6. Supporting Friends through IVF (27:00–30:56)

A. Practical and Comfort Gifts

• Listener suggests:
  • Handheld massager and electric heating pad to alleviate post-injection discomfort during IVF cycles.
    “With them (heat and massage) I did not have any soreness or bruising or lumps.” — Listener (28:17)
• Elise references Dr. Amy Baxter’s TED Talk on vibration for pain relief (28:37).

B. Care Packages & Thoughtful Gestures

• Other practical ideas:
  • “Malicious Women Candle Company” with “badass” and humorous messages.
  • Arrange deliveries of flowers, cupcakes, and luxe self-care treats (Whole Foods or similar) for friends in tough times, not just IVF (29:19–30:44).
  • Elise: “It’s not even just for IVF support… I have a friend whose dog is now in hospice care and I should do it for her today.” (30:44)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Culture has long valorized youth... we’re sort of not allowed to age.” — Elise (07:10)
• “You live for your job or that your job is your identity. You know, we don’t have to be that way either.” — Elise (24:00)
• “If you’re using AI, I think that’s fine. In this current hellscape of job searching, I don’t fault anyone.” — Doree (19:45)
• “Thinking blood is thicker than water has allowed many people to enable and cover for a multitude of sins.” — Listener (11:10)
• “With them I did not have any soreness or bruising or lumps. The shots were tedious but that’s the worst thing I can say about them.” — IVF listener (28:17)

Important Timestamps

• Doree’s Tennis Nationals Story: 01:43–06:18
• Listener Reactions: Aging Parents: 06:26–12:48
• Skincare & Vitamin E: 15:24–17:18
• Skill-Based Hiring & Career Change: 17:34–22:05
• AI for Job Search: 19:14–22:05
• Parenting a “Lost” 19-Year-Old: 22:13–24:40
• Tips for IVF Support Gifts: 27:00–30:56

Conclusion

This mini-episode weaves together relatable listener queries and responses around aging, self-care, family, work, and friendship. Doree and Elise, with empathy and wit, offer validation for life’s messiness and practical tips for navigating change—whether in careers, relationships, or self-care routines.

For more listener tips, product links, and past episodes, visit forever35podcast.com.

Want to weigh in or ask a question?

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