Mini-Ep 473: Holiday Traditions and Gift Giving

Summary

Forever35
Mini-Ep 473: Holiday Traditions and Gift Giving
Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Date: December 17, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this festive mini-episode, Doree Shafrir and Elise Hu dig into their favorite holiday traditions and approaches to gift-giving, answer listener questions about family rituals, and discuss how they manage dry skin (and eczema) in winter. The discussion weaves practical advice with warmth and humor, along with thoughts about happiness inspired by a Michelle Obama clip. The hosts also share holiday movie favorites and reflect on being present and content during the season.

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Serum Chat & Winter Skin Care

(02:20–10:18)

Highlights:

• K-Beauty Finds:
  Elise shares a Korean beauty product discovery, the Glaze Craze tinted lip serum, brought back by a friend:

  • “Mine is cinnamon sugar, but it’s called Glaze Craze. And it’s in like a little tube with a donut top. It’s very cute.” — Elise Hu (03:39)

• Winterized Skincare:
  Discussion about switching up body care routines for winter dryness, utilizing products like Osea’s body oil, and their experiences in various climates (Boston, New York, LA).

• Eczema Solutions:
  Sharing family eczema-care strategies, including Aquaphor, Eucerin, CeraVe, and, when necessary, doctor-prescribed steroid oil.

  • “There have been a couple times where it’s been pretty bad and hasn’t gone away with just Aquaphor. And then I will go to the doctor and get him… a steroid oil.” — Doree Shafrir (08:32)

• The Struggles of Dry Environments:
  Elise notes how moving between arid cities triggers flare-ups for her and her daughter Issa.

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Podcast & Patreon Announcements

(10:20–12:02)

Key Points:

• Recap of a recent, lively Patreon video chat (and upcoming shift to more video content on Patreon).
• Reminder about the ongoing 20% off Patreon sale, and notes about the podcast's holiday break.

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Gift-Giving Strategies

(14:53–19:34)

Listener Question:
“How do you go about purchasing gifts? I always want to be an advanced planner but find myself running around like crazy in December trying to pull it all together.” (14:57)

Hosts’ Strategies:

• Online & Early Bird Shopping:
  Elise leverages Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals for bigger purchases and personalized gifts with longer lead times, such as monogrammed items.

  • “I actually feel like I kind of got ahead because I wanted to take advantage of Black Friday deals and Cyber Monday deals, which tend to be pretty good.” — Elise Hu (15:19)

• Wish Lists for Kids:
  Both hosts use Amazon or Target wish lists for their children and share these with relatives to streamline gifting and avoid uncertainty.

• Minimalism for Adults:
  Doree and her husband usually skip big gifts for each other, sometimes opting for something small or just a card.

• Experience Gifts:
  Elise suggests experience gifts—like concert tickets or dinner out—as memorable alternatives, though Doree comments it’s not everyone’s preference.

  • “The gifts that have stood out that I’ve gotten him have been concert tickets… it’s more experiential.” — Elise Hu (19:01)

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Holiday Movie Favorites

(19:34–21:49)

• Family Favorites:

  • Home Alone (Elise), who also votes for Die Hard as a great Christmas movie:
    • “Die Hard is a Christmas movie and it’s excellent.” — Elise Hu (20:23)
  • Love Actually (Doree):
    • “On Rewatch, I’m kind of like… but I do still really enjoy Love Actually, like, as a movie.” — Doree Shafrir (20:23)

• Honorable Mentions:

  • It’s a Wonderful Life, Charlie Brown Christmas, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, and Elf.
    • “Some of the holiday movies are like, good for being a holiday movie, but some of them are, like, actually good. And I think Elf is, like, actually good.” — Doree Shafrir (21:49)

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Holiday Traditions

(22:02–25:12)

Listener Question:
“What are some of your favorite holiday traditions for this holiday?”

Elise’s Traditions:

• Hot pot on Christmas Eve—a family tradition with roots in her Taiwanese American background.
• Navigating the “Ava stocking” tradition, where her daughter Ava sneaks into her stocking throughout December, now resulting in Elise waiting until the last minute to fill it.
• Visiting LA’s Candy Cane Lane (a neighborhood with elaborate Christmas lights).

Doree’s Traditions:

• Making cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning (though not this year due to travel).
• Annual visits to holiday light displays, especially Descanso Gardens’ “Enchanted” show.
• Trying something new: a tour of the historic Greystone Mansion’s holiday decorations.
• Attempted reservation at Tam O’Shanter for the Christmas experience (but canceled).

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VOICEMAIL: Should You Officiate a Wedding?

(28:11–31:12)

Caller Comment:
A listener advises caution about officiating weddings if you suffer from severe stage fright, suggesting other special roles if public speaking would cause too much anxiety.

• “...if you think you’re going to have a shaky voice and be really nervous, it’s going to make the lead up to the wedding really painful for you... I think if you really want to do it, you need to commit to practicing a lot and... write for the ear.” — Listener Voicemail (28:17)

Host Thoughts:
Elise emphasizes it depends on the caller’s comfort level:

• “It is a cool experience if you get to do it. So it was one of my favorite speaking assignments of all time...” — Elise Hu (30:25)

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On Happiness: Michelle Obama Wisdom

(31:12–33:40)

Listener Email:
A listener reflects on measuring happiness via meaningful, ordinary moments, inspired by Michelle Obama, emphasizing contentment with “the nothing in the middle.”

• “Bottom line, I think I’m ‘happy’ that I’m comfortable being content, angry, sad, worried, delighted, and many other states of being.” — Listener Email (31:25)

Michelle Obama (quoted at 32:19):
“We have a generation of young people in their 20s who think that the goal is their personal happiness, period. And that is just not life. Service is a better goal than happiness... Most of life is just the nothing in the middle... you gotta learn how to be happy alone, a little bored... be satisfied when you failed, things don’t go your way, because all of that keeps you getting up.”

Hosts’ Takeaway:
The discussion echoes the value of embracing the ordinary, not striving for continuous happiness but finding contentment and meaning in day-to-day life.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “She was like, oh, be sure to get me the cooling water jelly thing.” — Elise Hu, on her daughter’s encyclopedic makeup knowledge (04:34)
• “My niece and nephew always just want a gift card. Oh, that’s easy.” — Doree Shafrir (18:14)
• “Most of life is just ordinary. You know, you gotta learn how to be happy alone. You gotta be happy, a little bored.” — Michelle Obama (33:13)
• “Elf is so good.” — Both hosts, about the perennial favorite (21:40)
• “Holiday movies are, like, good for being a holiday movie, but then some of them are, like, actually good. And I think Elf is, like, actually good.” — Doree Shafrir (21:49)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:20 — K-beauty product discoveries
• 06:55 — Skincare transitions for winter & eczema care
• 14:53 — Gift giving: planning and wishlists
• 19:42 — Favorite holiday movies
• 22:13 — Family holiday traditions shared
• 28:11 — Advice on officiating weddings
• 31:12 — Listener letter on happiness & Michelle Obama discussion
• 32:19 — Michelle Obama on happiness and “the nothing in the middle”

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Summary

This warm and witty mini-episode blends practical skincare and gift-giving tips with reflections on the messiness of the holidays, ways to find meaningful moments, and the comfort of ordinary life. Doree and Elise celebrate tradition, family, and self-care—reminding listeners to enjoy the “nothing in the middle” this season.

Transcript

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[Dori Shafrier]

Hello and welcome to Forever 35 podcasts about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Dory Shafrier.

[Elise Hu]

And I'm Elise Hu and we're just two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.

[Dori Shafrier]

And this is a mini episode where we hear from you, we share your comments and your thoughts, and we answer your questions to the best of our ability. But please remember we are not experts, we're podcast hosts and we always encourage you to seek support first and foremost from a medical and or mental health professional as needed.

[Elise Hu]

I have something serum adjacent to talk about.

[Dori Shafrier]

Great. A few things that I want to.

[Elise Hu]

Talk about because my friend Lucy, she comes back from Korea and she mules me k beauty products. Especially now with the tariffs they're still they negotiated the Trump administration negotiated down the original 25% tariff on Korea and Korean products that they had set, which AI wrote or something. I think Grok wrote it or something but it's now down to 15% but so still, you know, K beauty products are tariffed, but irrespective of tariffs, my friend Lucy would bring back stuff that I might like. Usually sunscreens and these crayon highlighters. Not highlighters for my face, but just actual highlighters for paper and books because they make great highlighters in Korea. Totally unrelated, but she brought back recently. You know, everybody has the lineage lip sleeping masks. They sell one unit of these every three seconds. The lip sleeping mask is like what really had laneige take off in the US but there's a new thing that's like doesn't get the gunk on your fingers that I guess it seems like similar to the laneige sleeping mask formulation. And it's called Glaze Craze. And it's in like a little tube with a donut top. It's very cute.

[Dori Shafrier]

That is very cute. Ooh, okay.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, it's a donut shaped top and it goes on really smooth on your lips and then you never have to put the sticky stuff on your fingers, right. Because it's an applicator. Mine is cinnamon sugar, but it's called glaze craze. Oh, it is a lip. It's a. It is a serum, technically a serum because it's called Glaze Craze tinted lip serum. And I pulled it out from, you know, fresh from Korea to use and put it in my purse. And Isabelle, who is very into makeup, she doesn't really wear makeup. She's very into it. She watches like makeup application. She was like, oh my God, is that the new lineage donut thing?

[Dori Shafrier]

Oh my God.

[Elise Hu]

So she already knew what it was.

[Dori Shafrier]

She already knew.

[Elise Hu]

And I was like, oh, the donut thing.

[Dori Shafrier]

Funny.

[Elise Hu]

Remember that night we were going to go to the milk makeup party, which we did.

[Dori Shafrier]

The night that we did go to the.

[Elise Hu]

She was like, oh, be sure to get me the cooling water jelly thing.

[Dori Shafrier]

Stop.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, she knew that. She knew exactly what was their. Their big product, the hot thing. And then we actually saw it in the claw machine. Because remember, you had to go into the claw machine to actually get the cooling water jelly tint. And Rob won us some very handy having a claw machine expert with us. Who knew.

[Dori Shafrier]

Did you know Rob was a claw machine expert?

[Elise Hu]

I actually, he's surprisingly good at carnival games and like beer pong flip cup just crushes in them. And so I never want. I mean he's very low key about it. He's like stone cold. You know, he just walks up on a ping pong table or whatever's being used at A.

[Dori Shafrier]

He's got a plan.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah. And he's just quiet. And then he just murders us all. So, yeah, I was not surprised. I was not surprised he was able to procure the claw machine, cooling water, jelly tip. But the point is that Issa is up on the cool stuff. But the other thing I wanted to just shout out, this is not sponsored content. I just wanted to talk about some things I'm excited about.

[Dori Shafrier]

Love it.

[Elise Hu]

Before we get into audience questions, so is it OC ose, the Malibu company that's near us?

[Masterclass Advertiser]

Oh, yes.

[Dori Shafrier]

I think it's O.C.

[Elise Hu]

O.C. They have this giant gift set that a lot of folks, a lot of, like, my mom friends have told me about that they're really excited about. Interesting. It's the andaria algae body wash and body oil and body butter. I'm mostly interested in body oil. I use a lot of body oils and hair oils during this time of year where it's cold and everything feels a little bit dry and, like, you need to turn the humidifier on. So I'm really excited about the body oil part of this. But they're doing these gift sets, and they're selling them for, like, 98 bucks. But I'll bet. I'll bet, like, after the holidays, there's going to be some around that maybe are at a lower price for it. So that is. Or you could just get them separately. Yeah, could get them separately, too. All right, I'm excited about those. Are you doing any sort of winterizing? Do you have any winterizing things that you do, like, just for this time of year, or products that you add?

[Dori Shafrier]

You know, it's interesting because when we were in Boston over Thanksgiving, I was reminded of, like, winterization of your products, because when I lived in a colder climate, there's, like, two things that you have to keep in mind. One is that it's cold and, like, there's wind and your skin gets chapped and your lips get chapped and your hands are dry. But the other is that especially when I lived in New York, like, sometimes I lived in apartments where I couldn't control the heat, and they were often very hot. And so the, like, something about the radiator heat, my skin also didn't like. So you were like. You were either, like, really cold or really hot. And my son came home. My son has my skin, and my son came home from Boston with, like, some eczema on his back that he hadn't had in a long time. So, yeah, I was. I was kind of reminded of winterization of skin. Skincare products.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, for eczema. Are y' all okay with the, the various drugstore products for eczema? Like, I just. Issa gets it as well. Issa gets eczema every once in a while. Like anytime we come back from Palm Springs, she gets it.

[Dori Shafrier]

And then she gets that stuff around.

[Elise Hu]

Her lips, you know, like where it looks like kind of a ring outside of her lips. I can't remember the condition, but we just use like Eucerin or CeraVe products that are supposed to be for eczema and that usually is fine. But I don't, I don't know if you've gotten more hardcore.

[Dori Shafrier]

So usually some aquaphor will do the trick. Yeah, there have been a couple times where it's been like pretty bad and hasn't gone away with just Aquaphor. And then I will go to the doctor and get him. Like there was like a steroid oil that I used on him for a while. I mean, you're not, you know, the thing with steroid creams and oils, like, you're really not supposed to use them for that long. So I would like use them until it cleared up, which usually was like a couple weeks and then stop. Got it. And some people have like actual bad reactions to steroid creams and stuff. Henry doesn't like, they, they work on him. So. Yeah, but there's also like cortisone. If it's really itchy, like you can put some cortisone on it. But yeah, I mean, I, I feel like my, my experience with eczema has like waxed and waned over the years. You know, like, sometimes it flares up and sometimes it doesn't. But there's definitely a lot more products out there now.

[Elise Hu]

For sure. For sure. Mine's so environmental. It's just like if I'm in a city that happens to be super dry and desert, like Beijing is super dry. And I kind of for about it because it's like, ooh, Beijing, you know, but it's basically in the desert. And then there's all this environmental pollution as well. It's much better now, but it's so dry. And so anytime I went there and got back, I would have some flare ups. And then the, the desert here, like Palm Springs, we'll go on vacation or do like a weekend in Palm Springs and then come back and everybody's itchy or ashy.

[Dori Shafrier]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Vegas. Yeah, Vegas is very dry.

[Elise Hu]

I'm like scratching now just thinking about it. It's. Yeah.

[Dori Shafrier]

Just thinking about it, I just.

[Elise Hu]

I'm so itchy. Yeah.

[Dori Shafrier]

Elise, we should tell people about what we did last week for our casual chat for our Patreon supporters. We did a live on camera casual chat with some technical difficulties in the beginning, but we overcame them and sure did and managed to do it. We had a nice group of people there, the chat was bumping, people were asking us questions. It was super fun. And so we've decided that after the holidays, we are going to do our casual chats on video. We're not always going to do them live, but we will, like, with, you know, people there. But we will do them on video and we will post them on our Patreon. So if you're a Patreon supporter, that is like a nice, fun extra bonus you get is us on video. And we will do some more occasional live casual chats as well. So you can join us on our [e-mail] forever35. Our once a year sale is still going on. It's 20% off until Friday night. So if you have been thinking about joining our Patreon, now is the time. This will not be on sale again until next year. And then also, this is our last new mini app of the year.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, we are taking some time off for holidays.

[Dori Shafrier]

Yeah, programming note, we're taking some time off for the holidays. So this is our last new mini app of the year.

[Elise Hu]

We will be back on Monday, of course, with another fresh episode. This is just the last mini last Wednesday episode of 2025 that we are freshly recording. We love y' all and it's been such a fun and fruitful year here on the show and stick with us into the new year.

[Dori Shafrier]

All right, before we take a break, please do call or text us at 781-591-0390. Email us at forever35podcastmail.com Our website is also forever35podcast.com. We have links there to everything we mentioned on the show. Our Instagram is @forever35 podcast. Our newsletter is now on our [e-mail] Forever35. You can join the Patreon as a free member and get the newsletter, which is fun. And you can shop our favorite products@shopmy us. Forever 35, we have a shelf for our gift guide. We have a shelf for recommendations for tweens. There's all kinds of fun stuff on there. All right, and then after the break, we have some questions that people in our Patreon posted for us to get to in our casual chat, but we ran out of time because we had so many other things to talk about. So we're going to get to them in this episode. So there will be a little holiday discussion after the break. So we'll be right back.

[Elise Hu]

We'll be right back. Budgeting at the end of the year is a struggle for most people. It certainly is for me. I am a freelancer. I'm also a contractor and we have to be considering the taxes we have to pay at the end of the year and it's a lot to manage on a good day. With Monarch though, I am much more easily keeping track of my finances and my year end financial to dos, which means I can relax a little more, step off the gas and enjoy the holidays for once. So if you want to keep your finances under control this holiday season, you need to be using Monarch rated Wall Street Journal's Best Budgeting App of 2025. It is the all in one personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in one interface. I can tell you it's very clean and easy to read because I'm particular about charts and I like monarchs a lot. You can see it on your laptop or your phone. And right now, just for Forever 35 listeners, Monarch is offering 50% off your first year. Not a bad deal for an app that was named Best budgeting app of 2025 by the Wall Street Journal. Don't let financial opportunities slip through the cracks. Use code f35monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first [e-mail] with COD35.

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[Dori Shafrier]

All right, we are back. Elise, do you want to read this first question?

[Elise Hu]

Sure. How do you go about purchasing gifts? I always want to be an advanced planner but find myself running around like crazy in December trying to pull it all together. I feel you Girl, I also run around like crazy in December. Actually now I just do a lot of online shopping. I know that that's questionable ethically, given all of the packaging and the climate footprint, but on this year, I actually feel like I kind of got ahead because I wanted to take advantage of Black Friday deals and Cyber Monday deals, which tend to be pretty good. Or I actually did a little searching to figure out the better Cyber Monday or Black Friday deals that were available out there. So for things like, you know, headphones, I had a daughter who wanted headphones for travel and devices. You know, like gadgetry type things. I went ahead and ordered those. And then anything that was personalized, like, I wanted to get any framed photos or anything monogrammed, you know, I'm a Texan, so we get monogrammed things. I needed to have some lead time for that, so we did that. The other thing that I think has streamlined the process for us is I've asked each girl to just make a list, either on a Google Doc or make an Amazon wish list, but just have a list, and then that way we can share the list with your grandparents. Because Grandma Susan always just shops from the list, and then that way she's getting what the girls want. My, you know, the uncles and aunts and cousins and things too, if they're going to mail anything over and they don't have to, of course, but then they can at least see what the kids are into right now. So the lists are really helpful. But if you're really trying to personalize for each person, for each person you're trying to buy for and they don't have a list, you're right. It is hard to pull it all together. What do you do?

[Dori Shafrier]

You know, I also started doing an Amazon list or Target list for Henry's birthday. I don't, like, put it on the birthday invite, but when people reach out and ask.

[Elise Hu]

Right.

[Dori Shafrier]

I say, I actually put together an Amazon list. And usually they are like, oh, my God, thank you.

[Elise Hu]

Great. Yeah.

[Dori Shafrier]

Yeah. Like, this just makes it so much easier. So I think that's. That's. I. I appreciate that. Also, as a parent buying stuff for other kids, it's always helpful when the parent can just be like, you know what? This is exactly what they want.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah.

[Dori Shafrier]

Yeah. So I. We have been getting Henry stuff from his Christmas and Hanukkah list that he put together that, like, we asked him specifically. He also had specific things he wanted for Hanukkah and specific things he wanted for Christmas. And there didn't seem to Be any sort of, like, rhyme or reason as to, like, which were like, it wasn' like, all the less expensive gifts because I don't think he realized concept of that. It was just like, these I want for Hanukkah, these I want for Christmas. So I'll be doing that. And, you know, usually we're. We're in a time of austerity, so I think Matt and I will either, like, not get each other gifts or get each other something like, really small. And then like, my niece and nephew always just want a gift card. Oh, that's easy. Yeah, super easy. And then I just have to ask my sister what her daughters want. So.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Dori Shafrier]

So no like, real hacks, but yeah. And I also feel like I do end up finding myself sort of, like, running around trying to figure it all out.

[Elise Hu]

Don't forget experiences as you were talking about getting something from Matt or not getting something for Matt. Like, when I asked Rob what he wants for his birthday or Christmas, he's often like, well, I could use a new pack of boxers. It's just like, that's not really. That's not like a sweet gift. That's a practical thing that you could go to. Yeah, go to Ross, dress for less.

[Dori Shafrier]

But totally.

[Elise Hu]

But the gifts that I feel like have stood out that I've gotten him in the past have been concert tickets or something. You know, like, oh, we're going to go to see a show at the poll, or we're going to go see Leon Bridges. And it's more experiential. So you could always think about, like, oh, a gift card to a restaurant or something like that for your loved ones as well as you're thinking about.

[Dori Shafrier]

Gifts, if they, like, experience gifts. Because Matt does not like experience gifts, which I learned Matt would not want those things. I like experience gifts.

[Elise Hu]

Depends on your recipient.

[Dori Shafrier]

Depends on your recipient. Exactly. Okay, next question. What's your favorite holiday movie with the family?

[Elise Hu]

It's Home Alone, a classic. We still love Home Alone. Like, well, I just love it. It's so funny, those wet bandits. And then. And then I found out, because I follow this, like, Millennial Misery Instagram account, and I found out that one of the wet bandits is younger than I am now. Like, he is younger in the movie than I am now. So yikes. So anyway, so Home Alone is mine for family. And then my favorite one just to watch overall is Die Hard. I will always contend that Die Hard. Die Hard is a Christmas movie and it's excellent. What about you, Dor?

[Dori Shafrier]

So I Feel like the message is not great. And, like, on Rewatch, I'm kind of like. But I do still really enjoy Love actually, like, as a movie.

[Elise Hu]

Huh. Huh.

[Dori Shafrier]

You know, even though I'm like, this is problematic.

[Elise Hu]

But Hugh Grant, so cute in it.

[Dori Shafrier]

Totally.

[Elise Hu]

But you're right. Should he have been entertaining that relationship?

[Dori Shafrier]

There's a lot that once you, like, go back and watch it with, like, a 2025 lens, you're like, ooh, there's.

[Elise Hu]

So many tropes from that movie that have lasted, though. Like, the guy holding.

[Dori Shafrier]

Perfect. Yeah.

[Elise Hu]

Yes.

[Dori Shafrier]

Now, I mean, there's also It's a Wonderful Life.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah. I haven't shown my kids that. I don't know if they can get into it because it's black and white.

[Dori Shafrier]

I know. I just. It was, like, one of those movies that remember, like, it used to be shown on TV like, every year, and we would, like, watch it on television because it was, you know, the. Whatever, Sunday night movie or. Yeah, whatever it was.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah. And Charlie Brown Christmas.

[Dori Shafrier]

Charlie Brown, Christmas, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I mean, there's a lot. There's a lot of good holiday movies.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah.

[Dori Shafrier]

Not a ton of, like, Hanukkah movies, but there have been. Oh, my God. Elf.

[Elise Hu]

Yes.

[Dori Shafrier]

Elf is so good.

[Elise Hu]

The girls haven't seen Elf yet. Maybe I'll make them watch it with us. Oh, my gosh. Movie night.

[Dori Shafrier]

Like, I feel like some of these. Some of the holiday movies are, like, good for being a holiday movie, but then some of them are, like, actually good. And I think Elf is, like, actually good. It's so. I think it's so funny.

[Masterclass Advertiser]

All right.

[Dori Shafrier]

We kind of addressed this in the casual chat, but not specifically this question, which is, what are some of your favorite holiday traditions for this holiday?

[Elise Hu]

For the Christmas holiday? We always have hot pot on Christmas Eve or on Christmas night. It's like a Taiwanese American thing. So it's a whole to do to prep hot pot and all the vegetables and things that are on the sides and get all of that set up, and it's really pretty and elaborate, and I like having my family here to help. So this year, we're going to do all. You can eat hot pot out at a restaurant in Torrance or something. So I'm excited about that. I feel like a lot of our traditions are not on purpose. Like, it is now a tradition that I can't put anything in Ava's Christmas stocking because she always goes into her stocking. She sneaks into her stocking as it fills up over the Month of December to see and sort of inventory every single thing that's in it so that by Christmas morning, nothing in her stocking is a surprise, because this is what she just does. And she's done it since she was 4 or 5 years old. So now I can't put anything in her stocking. The other girls have things in hers, their stockings. And then I have to fill Ava's stocking at the last minute due to her sneakiness. And then we do. We. We do. We talked about this briefly on the Patreon. We do Candy Cane Lane here in la. So since we've been in la, we go to a light thing, like a light display, a neighborhood light display. The one close to us is called Candy Cane Lane, and it's really lovely. And, yeah, I mean, most of our traditions are normal ones, just like getting up early and baking cookies and leaving food out for Santa and all that stuff. What about you?

[Dori Shafrier]

Well, I usually like to make cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning, but we're not gonna be home this Christmas morning, so I won't be doing that this year. We always go to a holiday light show, like, sometime during the season. I really like the one at Desc, which is like a. I've never been. What, To Descanso at all.

[Elise Hu]

I think I've been to the Garden. I haven't been to the light show, like, because they do, like, Descanso Gardens Christmas or something like that. Right.

[Dori Shafrier]

So the light show is really cool.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dori Shafrier]

It's called Enchanted, and it's a little more, like, artsy than your, like, typical holiday light show. We did. We did zoo lights a couple years, and it was literally a zoo. Like, it was so crowded and so chaotic, and I was like, I cannot do this again, with all due respect to the Los Angeles Zoo. So we're gonna do Descanso with Henry's preschool friends, which I'm excited about. Oh, I'm also. We're also doing something new this year that I haven't done before, which is there's this, like, historic mansion in Beverly Hills called the Greystone Mansion. And every year, they. They, like, decorate for the holidays, and they open it up at, like, very specific times for people to come and see. And I got us tickets to, like, go to the Greystone Mansion.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah.

[Dori Shafrier]

So I think that'll be fun. I like to just sort of, like, you know, embrace the various happenings. I was going to have us go to the. The Tamos Chanter is a, like, an old restaurant here in la. It was Walt Disney's favorite restaurant and oh, didn't know around Christmas they do a whole Christmas thing with like carolers and super decorated. But we ended up having a conflict with the time I had booked and I don't think we're going to be able to go. No huge loss. The food is not good but the, the vibe is supposed to be really cool. So. All right. Very cool. We are going to take another short break and when we come back we have some thoughts for the listener who to officiate a wedding but was like nervous. Do you remember this?

[Elise Hu]

Yep.

[Dori Shafrier]

And then another listener wrote in with some thoughts on happiness. So we'll get to those as well.

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[Dori Shafrier]

All right. We will be right back.

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[Dori Shafrier]

All right, we are back and we have a voicemail.

[Listener Voicemail Caller]

Hello, I'm calling in with a somewhat what might be controversial. This is about the caller who was asked to officiate a wedding. I don't think that you should accept that. I think that you should maybe offer to read something or stand up there or have some sort of other role in the day. But I think that if you think you're going to be have a shaky voice and be really nervous, it's going to make the lead up to the wedding really painful for you. You're not going to enjoy yourself that day, and it might be really awkward and tough for the bride and groom. I think that public speaking takes a lot of practice. So if you don't think that you're going to be practicing a lot between now and then, I don't think you're going to just get up there and suddenly have confidence and be a great speaker and have charisma and have words flowing off your tongue. I think if you really want to do it, I think you need to commit to practicing a lot. And I think you need to learn how to write for the ear. And I think it's okay to read your speech as long as it sounds good for the ear. Something written that you're just sending to someone is very different than something that you're speaking aloud. So you need to read it aloud, time it out, use a stopwatch and make sure that it flows and that you can confidently deliver this. Because if not, I don't think it's that big of a deal to say, you know, go with somebody who's really a natural up there. Not it doesn't have to be your best friend or your favorite person. I think the person officiating if, if they happen to have those qualities as well, that's really magical. But they could also just have a special role in the ceremony or stand up there with you or something like that and just let someone who feels more comfortable that isn't going to like, throw up before the ceremony take the lead. And I think it's totally fine to be graceful about that and just do that.

[Dori Shafrier]

Okay.

[Listener Voicemail Caller]

Hope that helps. And isn't not what you wanted to hear. Okay, bye.

[Elise Hu]

I think it totally depends on how nervous this woman is. Yeah, the original caller. Right. Like this voicemail, which has a lot of useful advice, especially in about prep, preparation and writing for the ear. This voicemail supposes that the woman is going to be so nervous that she's going to be vomiting or on the verge of Vomiting and I don't know, I mean, I get nervous, but. But it doesn't seem like I'm that nervous, right? So it just depends. I don't know. It depends on the actual caller who was asked to officiate themselves. But it is a cool experience if you get to do it. So it was one of my favorite speaking assignments of all time, mainly for the reasons that I've said, which is you get to really shine the light on your friend and their love.

[Dori Shafrier]

That's really cool. Okay, our final email is from a listener who writes. Hi, Dori and Elise. Love your thoughts this morning about happiness. And it reminded me of this clip by Michelle Obama that spoke to me. As I get older, I find I don't often ask myself, am I happy? Instead, when I write in my one line a day journal. Thanks, Dory. I'll ask. Did I have a sweet moment with my teen daughters today? Did my husband make me laugh? Did I perform an act of kindness? Have a nice chat with a friend or stranger? Wear something both comfortable and cute? Did I complete some satisfying tasks at work or home once that didn't harm the world and maybe even helped it a bit? Notice I didn't ask was I successful or productive. I could go on, but you get the drift. Bottom line, I think I'm quote happy that I'm comfortable being content, angry, sad, worried, delighted, and many other states of being. And then she links to a TikTok of Michelle Obama.

[Michelle Obama (clip)]

We have a generation of young people in their 20s who think that the goal is their personal happiness, period. And that is just not life. I mean, service is a better goal than happiness because, you know, life is full of bumps and bruises. I tell my girls the greatest gift that they can have developed for themselves is the ability to be self sat, to be happy where you are, whatever that is. And to learn how to be like this is not exciting. I'm not winning, I'm not losing, I'm not achieving. I'm not. It's not a party. I don't have friends around every day. It's like most of life is just the nothing in the middle.

[Elise Hu]

Yes.

[Michelle Obama (clip)]

And I think this generation, they don't want that nothing in the middle. You know, when things, when things are just bland, y'.

[Dori Shafrier]

All.

[Michelle Obama (clip)]

Most of life is just ordinary. You know, you gotta learn how to be happy alone. You gotta be happy, a little bored.

[Elise Hu]

You gotta be.

[Michelle Obama (clip)]

You gotta be happy when things are hard. You gotta learn how to be satisfied when you failed.

[Dori Shafrier]

Yes.

[Michelle Obama (clip)]

Things don't go your way because all of that keeps you getting up. But I think there are a lot of young people who are searching for this impossible feeling of continuous happiness.

[Dori Shafrier]

Okay, and then this listener ends. I'm grateful for you. I just joined the Patreon and have to figure out how to access the content. I guess because I'm 55, not 35. Haha. I did let this person know how to access the content. So thank you all so much for listening and have a great holiday. If you celebrate whatever you celebrate, and we will talk to you again on Monday in our full length episode and then we will be off and running some of our favorite episodes as reruns for the week and a half before New Year's and then we'll be back with some fresh episodes in January. So thank you and we'll talk to you soon. Bye. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

[Gloss Angeles Podcast Host]

So are we actually going to tell people what this podcast is? It's Gloss Angeles. We talk about beauty. And by beauty we mean proven science, celebrity glam, debunking Internet narratives, and whatever drama TikTok has cooked up before 9am plus the products you should actually use.

[Dori Shafrier]

Not just the products.

[Gloss Angeles Podcast Host]

Products going viral on your feed. We are two beauty journalists who've been in this industry long enough to know what's real, what's marketing, and what's basically a group hallucination. And we're obsessed with the why behind trends, why everyone suddenly wants to smell like a cupcake, why teens are doing nine step routines, and why some celebrity brands work and others don't. And if you want the real insider experience, join Gloss Angeles Confidential, where you get to test products before they launch. It's like being a beauty editor without the inbox trauma. So if you want the truth, the tea, the science, the scandal, and the occasional emotional breakdown over sunscreen. Welcome to Los Angeles.

[Dori Shafrier]

ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.