A (2:28)

Elise, how's it going?

B (2:30)

Uh, it's going Pretty well. I haven't been to the emergency vet today at all. So that's a good day. Um.

A (2:40)

Wow. The bar is on the floor.

B (2:42)

There was. We got into this funny discussion about IQ last night.

A (2:47)

Okay.

B (2:48)

There's been this running joke in my group chat about iq. And then I brought this up with my running buddy this morning, who is a neurologist. Neuroscientist. And she was saying to me, the creature in your house whose IQ I most want evaluated is Oscar's. What do you think his IQ is? Like three. Would you put it at three? And she said that there's actually these doggy IQ tests where you can, like, have them perform certain tasks or see how long it takes for them to. To find something underneath a blanket.

A (3:20)

Oh, my.

B (3:21)

And I was like. Well, you know who I think is actually, like, quite intelligent is Abe, my cat. My cat. Cat that behaves like a dog. The one that can open doors. The one that comes when called. He can come when called. Like, if he's way back in the backyard and I call him from upstairs in the house, he will hear me and then come. Come to me. So he knows the come command better than the dog. And then Abe also plays fetch. I love that he plays fetch. And so I was like, is there a cat one where I can test the intelligence of my cat? And apparently so. But what I think would be interesting is to have the dog take the cat one and the dog one and have the cat take the dog one and the cat one. And I think that what we're going to find. My hypothesis is that my cat is a very smart dog.

A (4:05)

Wow. I love this.

B (4:07)

We're going to find out.

A (4:08)

I think your dog is not the smartest. Very pretty creature.

B (4:16)

What's going on with you?

A (4:16)

Oh, my goodness.

B (4:17)

What's going on on your side of town?

A (4:20)

I mean, our. Our roof is being replaced.

B (4:25)

Oh, I didn't know there was a roof issue. Is it just because there is a roof issue?

A (4:29)

It was leaking, like, during all the storms, so there is a roof issue. I mean, we rent, so we are not paying for this roof replacement, but it's been quite disruptive. Our dog is not thrilled. And, like, we didn't feel like paying to send him to daycare just because we were getting our roof worked on. So he is very agitated pretty much all day. Poor guy.

B (4:55)

How long is the project of roof replacement?

A (4:58)

You know what? It's not clear to me, Elise.

B (5:00)

Okay?

A (5:00)

I. I don't. I don't totally. I also avoid all interaction with our landlord. I Make Matt deal with it. Because I can't. It's like I, I find him. Yeah. Meddlesome.

B (5:13)

Meddlesome.

A (5:14)

Yeah. We'll just leave it at that. I, I, I try to have as few details as possible.

B (5:24)

Got it.

A (5:25)

I'm willfully ignorant to like anything. It's a need to know basis.

C (5:30)

Great.

D (5:32)

Awesome.

A (5:33)

This is something that I have fully like the mental load. Divested. Yes. The mental load and emotional labor of dealing with our landlord has been fully put on my husband. Like, I do not even, I do not even, I do not engage. I do not like. I am like, this is, this is your, this is your.

B (5:55)

Yes, this is your department.

A (5:56)

Exactly.

B (5:56)

Got it.

C (5:57)

I deal with a lot.

A (5:58)

This is.

B (5:58)

Oh yeah. I do not know. You carry your load.

A (6:00)

Right? Yeah. So that's, that's kind of what's going on with me. We got, we got a voicemail that I want to play because the first half of it is just like a really lovely compliment to us. Oh. So I feel like we need a con. And then there's an actual question.

B (6:19)

Okay.

E (6:19)

Hi, Dorian, Elise, longtime listener here, chiming in to say the POD recently has been in such a great groove. Thank you both for continuing it and sharing bits of your lives. Great wrecks, guests, good advice and cultivating an online community. I especially have loved the episodes with Megan Sullivan and recently with Maureen and Dory. An extra nod to you for showing such resilience when you've indicated some tough times personally and, and the tennis hobby is quite inspiring. Onto a question. Tooth care. I have good oral hygiene with the exception of drinking and eating the beverages and foods that cause tooth staining. Coffee, tea, berries, etc. My teeth are staining by the time my 6 month appointment comes up and then the hygienist gets them nice and white and then the pattern repeats. I've gotten tips from the dentist like drinking coffee through a straw or making sure to rinse with water after drinking acidic drinks. But it basically comes down to if I really wanted to avoid the staining completely, I would need to cut the beverages out. Which sounds sad, but I am self conscious about the staining and I need to avoid aggressive whitening treatments because of enamel health. Is this something you deal with or the listeners?

A (7:26)

Thanks.

B (7:27)

I totally deal with it because I drink like a gallon of iced tea every day. So every time I go to my six week, my six month appointment, they're like, what are you drinking? This is your usual staining. Can you please. And they say the exact same thing. They're like, after you Drink your tea or your coffee, then definitely rinse with water. Water is much more useful after drinking these staining beverages than brushing your teeth because of whatever the chemical process is that happens. So, I mean, I get the exact same remarks, but I don't really get that. I don't mind. There was some advertiser that sent me. It's called, like, Lumenu or Lumino. They have those pens, those whitening pens with like, a little brush on the end that you can keep in your purse and you can just paint the front of your teeth. This was in television news all the time. Like, there were all the. The anchors.

A (8:24)

There were two.

B (8:25)

Two products, like MVP products that showed up in TV newsrooms all the time. One is that Lumify those eyedrops. The Lumify eyedrops work instantly to take the red out of your eye. The other is, are the, like, whitening pens where you can just paint your teeth white and it just has the same gel stuff that comes in whitening kits. But I hear you on enamel health. I don't do a lot of that. I do have those, like, the mouth guard, like, molds that they do, they fit you for so that you can put whitening stuff in it, the whitening gel stuff inside them and just like, wear them for teeth whitening if you want. So I. Dentists do do that if you want to do it. I don't know if it's that much different or more effective than strips.

A (9:12)

Okay. I have no teeth whitening or enamel advice, so I'm going to defer to Elise on this one. And our listeners.

B (9:23)

Yeah, I don't have that much. So, yes, if there are listeners, I just kind of live with it. I don't think it's that big of a deal to have some staining on my teeth, you know, But I think everybody's a sense of that is different. And then B, I don't know how much staining we're talking about. You know what I mean? Like, I kind of have like, the regular staining, but it's not like. Right. It's not like a stripe across the middle of my two front teeth or something like that.

A (9:46)

Right. So, okay, well, if you have thoughts on tooth staining or anything else, call or text us at 781-591-0390. Email us at forever35podcastgmail.com Visit our website forever35podcast.com we have links there to everything we mentioned on the show. We are on Instagram @forever35 podcast and our patreon is at patreon.com forever35 just a quick rundown and reminder of all the things we have available on our Patreon. At the free tier we have our newsletter. That is the only place you can get our newsletter. Now we have pot highlights, product reviews, exclusive discounts, giveaways, bonus content. It's a fun time over there. We also have a chat going in the Patreon app or I guess you can get it on the Patreon website too. You can get access to the chat and that's also really fun. You also get our weekly casual chats, you get our monthly pop culture recommendations and at the ten dollar level you also get ad free episodes and a shout out on the podcast each and every month. So check that out. Patreon.com Forever35 and after the break we have more pants recommendations which I'm really here for. Here for any comfy cozy recommendations.

B (11:08)

Okay, we'll talk about those after the break.

A (11:10)

All right, we'll be right back. Foreign. Could AI help you do more of what you love? Workday is the next gen ERP powered by AI that actually knows your business. We help you handle the have to dos so you can focus on the can't wait to do's. It's a new workday.

F (11:32)

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A (12:58)

All right, we are back and I am going to play a voicemail about pants Fantastic.

D (13:08)

Hi, Elise and door. I am recording this in the daycare parking lot as I prepare to go in and pick up my two C section babies. So I wanted to call in response to the listener who was asking about post C section attire. I've had two C sections, one with a horizontal incision and one with vertical. I assume this person had a horizontal incision, but in the four years since I've had that, it's been high waist everything just because of tenderness and scarring and all the fun stuff that comes along with that procedure. And I want to give a plug mug for Old Navy pants slash jeans because they do offer what I think is pretty inclusive sizing. I'm short and they offer everything in a short, they offer in a tall. And as Elise mentioned, they also include photos of various sizes of models on the website. Another perk is that it's fairly inexpensive, so you don't want to invest a lot of money as your body is continuously changing postpartum. So I have found Old Navy jeans to be very consistent in quality and sizing and they offer a lot of great high waisted options. Thanks so much for the pod. I hope this helps.

A (14:26)

Great.

B (14:27)

I'm glad she brought up Old Navy because do you see what I'm wearing?

A (14:30)

Whoa.

B (14:31)

I'm wearing my new Old Navy bounce fleece. I forgot to even mention this off the top. We were recording the show last week and so then I looked up this Bounce fleece. It's supposedly a dupe for the.

A (14:44)

The Spanx Air essentials.

B (14:46)

Spanx. Yes, the Spanx Air Essentials that don't have pockets. But Bounce fleece does have pockets and it does sort of feel like that scuba type material. It's so comfy. The pants run a little big. So in fact, our nanny, Ling Ling pointed out she's like, your, your outfit looks so comfy, but you're, you look like you're kind of drowning in the pants a little bit. So she wanted to know because she also wants to get a bounce fleece set and they were on sale, like certain colors were on sale. I got this rose color. I think it's also on you. Thank you. Thank you. I don't know if it's in my color wheel season or whatever. My color season, but it was on sale and then, yeah, ditto to the caller on how our bodies are always changing. So it's good to get some pants that, you know can shift with you or that the brand can shift with you as our bodies change. So I like that. I have, I have Already sung the praises of the super soft denim from Gap, which is the same company. And yeah, generally the price points are pretty affordable.

A (15:52)

Totally. Elise, do you want to read this next email? Sure.

B (15:56)

Dorian Elise, listener since day one. First time writer I had a pause the pod moment when you were discussing what to wear after a C section on mini EP477. It must be different for every person postpartum because I disagreed with most of what you recommended. Dory. I had a C section one year ago and was so wildly uncomfortable for weeks after. I could not do compression pants or a belly band. Sleeping was awful and clothes were impossible. I couldn't have anything tight on my stomach. Actually I couldn't really have anything on my stomach at all. Even comfy pants a size too big were uncomfortable. Even the tie of a robe tied loosely was uncomfortable. I think I had trapped gas from the surgery. Maybe. Anyways, the pants I ended up liking the most were the offline by Aerie Ott Fleece super wide leg pants. They are really roomy and look kind of silly on my short frame. They were the only thing I could wear. I also liked wearing my maternity one piece bodysuit that was a little roomy but didn't have a waistband and wasn't at all tight on my belly. It had been summer, I would have worn dresses, but it was January, so wear dresses if you can. Love you guys. Sunny. Okay. So different. Take different strokes for different folks. Yeah. And I do like Aerie. I do like, like the loungewear from Aerie as well. Aerie is kind of like the youth brand from American Eagle, I believe. And I got swimsuits. I got a few bikinis from there last year also. Probably because they were like low priced because they're like juniors. Right. I love them. It's like one of, it's one of the bathing suits I get complimented on the most is my airy two piece. Yeah. So you know, don't sleep on aerie. It's just sleepwear, you know. Like most, most of it is like sleepwear, loungewear, comfy stuff. So I'm sort of like, I mean, does it matter that it should be for my teenage daughter? I'm fine with it.

A (17:58)

I mean, whatever works. You know what I'm saying?

B (18:01)

Yeah, it's loungewear.

A (18:02)

Yeah, exactly. Okay, next text. Dorian Elise wanted to reach out with a potentially polarizing airplane outfit option.

B (18:14)

Okay.

A (18:15)

Over the past year I made the transition to wearing a hundred percent cotton black maxi dress with a chunky or light sweater and a pair of tennis shoes. If the Flight is more than two hours. I'll also add compression socks. This totally depends on where one is going but for mild climates it's been great and I feel so free on the plane. Slash. Don't get butt sweat with this method. I will note I like to wear loose fitting spanx shorts underneath to help wick moisture too. Much love to y' all and the Forever 35 community. Okay, I have also a couple times done the the maxi dress situation. Although mine I don't think is 100 cotton listener. I'm going to need a link to the maxi dress that you recommend. I would like to see it. I also like to feel a little bit more like held in underneath. So I like this idea of wearing the loose fitting spanx shorts under the maxi dress. I do like that idea. I'm, I'm, I'm intrigued. Again, I would like a link. Please provide links.

B (19:22)

Drop in on the Patreon chat Right.

A (19:23)

Yeah, but this is, this is interesting. This is helpful. This is helpful. All right. We are gonna take another short break and we will be right back.

B (19:39)

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A (22:17)

All right, we are back and we have a voicemail.

G (22:22)

Hi, this is Adrienne I long time listener, first time caller. I listen for probably 10 years. I am just now 30 so you know, maybe listen before I was a Target demo. Anyhow, I'm calling because I am about to start the IVF process over the next couple months and I'm super nervous about like this hormonal craziness that's going to be. So I would just love advice about this process or just advice in general going into this, I don't know. I had a clear question before I called in and now I just feel like I'm kind of all over the place. We just love encouragement and advice. Thanks.

F (23:02)

Bye.

B (23:02)

That's a very clear question. Can you offer advice and encouragement? Is a question. So that's a call out to the community but also to Dory. What do you remember and what advice and encourage encouragement can you offer?

A (23:13)

Well, I have a whole podcast about the IVF process called Matt and Dory's Excellent Adventure in the first like 20ish episodes. 20 to 50 episodes was when we were like really in the shit of ivf. Like really in it. So those are probably going to be the episodes that are like most applicable to your situation. But just quickly. I mean I would say the thing that I wish I had known the most before I went into IVF was that the goalposts are always shifting and it most likely will not work right away. Like I wish someone had just told me that. I feel like they kind of like they, they don't really tell you how, like, the odds are, like, not amazing. Sorry to, like, be. A lot of people have to do multiple rounds of IVF to get viable embryos and have them transferred. Like, it can take a long time. So I don't mean to sound discouraging. I just mean to say, like, if you do one round of IVF and it doesn't work, don't get discouraged. Like, that is normal. No matter what people say or what doctors say or what, you know, what you've seen in the media, that is totally normal. You might have to do multiple rounds of ivf, and that just happens. And when I say that the goal posts are always shifting, we talk about this in great and gory detail on the podcast. But for us, it was always like, you would, like, do a round of IVF or do an egg retrieval or whatever, and then it would be like, oh, we actually need to, like, fix this other thing. Oh, we actually need to, like, do this thing that I. That you had never heard of, that no one had ever mentioned. But now you need to have this procedure done, and it's. It's gonna. You need to. Need to take. It'll take a month to recover from. Like, there's just always stuff. I can't even, like. I don't even know how to, like, describe it. It's just like, there was always something else that we were, like, what no one ever told us about that, and then it was, you know, some other thing, and it really is like, you know, it is a science, but it is also an art. And, like, the doctors are doing. Doing their best to, like, try to figure out what everyone's unique issue is and what the right meds are and the timing. And it's like, it's trial and error. So, like, a lot of times, that first round, even though it is so expensive, I hope that, you know, if you have insurance coverage or someone is covering it, great. But, like, a lot of people, like, we were paying out of pocket, and so to. To feel like, oh, that first round is just like a test run. You're like, but wait, I just paid, like, all this money. And the doctor's like, well, we're gonna, like, tweak this and do that. And you're like, oh, my God, like, you're just kind of figuring this out as we go, because there's no guarantees. So I would just say, like, lean on your friends. Lean on your family. If you have a partner, lean on your partner. Be kind to yourself. Take personal days if you need them. Get cozy, binge, watch a lot of tv. I weirdly binge watched a lot of. I remember I binge watched a lot of Call the Midwife, which is a.

B (26:35)

Great show on pbs.

A (26:37)

Great show. It didn't really make sense because I was like doing ivf, so, like, why was I watching a show about people delivering babies? Yeah, delivering babies. But I really, I don't know, I really like. So, like, find a show. Binge watch a show. Like you're going to want to do things that take your mind off of IVF because it is so easy to let it just like, take over your life.

B (26:58)

Rewatch Heated Rivalry. My friend Meredith has watched it 14 times. Great binge. Great binge. Great rewatch binge. I'm starting to rewatch a little bit of Heated Rivalry because I really want Rob to get to the Kip and Scott episodes, which everybody who knows the show will know. And it takes like, I think Kip and Scott, which is a B plot and kind of a bottle episode. I think it's like halfway through the season and Rob just hasn't gotten there yet. So I'm like, can we watch another so you can get to my favorite couple? But then he's mad at me because I have yet to watch Andor and he's like, andor is the most important show to watch in this time. Like, how can you have not have watched Andor? And you would love it. And you love Tony. What's his name? Tony. The guy who wrote it or the guy who directs? No, the guy who wrote it. Tony Gilroy. Because Michael Clayton is part of my Letterboxd 5. Like Michael Clayton, I think is one of the best movies right up there with Office Space on my list and Good one And Tony Gilroy's behind Michael Clayton too. And Andor and I have yet to do Andor. And so Rob kind of is doing the same thing to me as I do with him with Heated Rivalry, where it's like, oh, well, I'll watch it with you. I'll just watch it again so that you can enjoy it. But all this to say, there's so much great content to binge while you're taking good care of yourself. Yes. And writing out those hormonal swings. And that's really great. Encouraging advice store.

A (28:31)

Yeah.

B (28:31)

I don't mean to have a whole podcast about it.

A (28:35)

We have. We have a whole podcast about it. I would say in the, like, in the last few years, it has really been more of just like a check in with each other with our listeners. And it's less about ivf, but if you go to the first, like, year or so of the podcast, like before I got pregnant, that was really like when we were in the. And I think a lot of people find it reassuring that, like, people are having the same feelings that they're having and going through the same stuff. And also we heard from, you know, there's so many listeners who, like, wrote or called in. So you're really getting the experience of, like, all of our listeners as well. Something else that people have said about the podcast is like, we've had people reach out and say, I started listening to your show before I was even trying to get pregnant. And then when I was trying to get pregnant, it turned out I did have to do infertility treatments. And I was so much more informed from listening to your podcast about, like, what to ask for and just, like, all the things. So you might also, like, learn some stuff about the process that you might not get from your doctor.

B (29:49)

Yeah, it's so good that show is the anchor of a community because it's true that so many people have gone through it and so many of my loved ones, so many of the kids I know are IVF babies and I'm so glad they're here, you know. What a journey.

A (30:08)

What a journey.

B (30:09)

Yeah. Thank you for sharing that, Dor. And before we go, I just have one quick Trader Joe's recommendation because I know these come up sometimes. And in honor of Valentine's Day, they have a heart shaped macaroons in the frozen food section. So, you know, with the. Yeah, with the mochi and the ice cream bars and the vanilla ice cream that Dory so loves. There's also heart shaped macaroons. So they're pink and white. Take advantage of them. I think they're like raspberry. They alternate between raspberry and vanilla or something flavored. They're very adorable.

A (30:44)

All right, great.

B (30:46)

One bite dessert.

A (30:46)

Yeah, maybe I'll. Maybe we'll try them. Henry is always asking for new desserts or new snacks and it's very challenging because like, half the time I buy a new snack or new dessert and he's like, no, I don't like it. I'm like, dude. All right, listeners, thank you so much. Elise, great to see you and we will talk to you soon.

B (31:08)

Okay, talk to you next time.

A (31:09)

Bye.

C (31:16)

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B (31:27)

Oh right.

C (31:27)

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