B (3:07)

Oh, wow.

A (3:07)

I know that building from the news.

B (3:11)

Yep.

A (3:12)

Anyway, so just receiving, like, a nice, random afternoon call from a friend who feels like the closest thing I have to a sister. Such a treat and warmed my heart. So, yeah, I have a few. Yeah, it's been a nice week. We had a great event earlier this week that I was rushing around for, but pulled off an event at the Lighthouse where I work often with Oscar the dog. And it went off without any technical hitches, and there was a great turnout and the snacks were awesome and the vibes were good.

B (3:47)

So that's great.

A (3:48)

That's been a great week. Just very eventful, and I have a lot to be very grateful for. What about you? Have you.

B (3:57)

That's so cool.

A (3:58)

Did you have a moment, like, in front of a burrito where you felt quite gratified?

B (4:04)

I did not have a burrito moment. No.

A (4:07)

A burrito moment, yes. We're changing the nomenclature. It is now called a burrito moment.

B (4:13)

It's now a burrito moment. I did have lunch with Kate Spencer. Oh, yay.

A (4:19)

Oh. Report in, please. Debrief us.

B (4:23)

Yeah, it was just really nice to catch up with her. You know, I used to see her multiple times a week on video, and now we're. We text all the time, but, like, we don't see each other all the time. And I do feel like, you know, it takes, like, conscious effort to be like, we need to make a plan to see each other. And, you know, she's busy and I'm busy, and so.

A (4:45)

Well, yeah, we made this lunch plan. What can you update us with? Like, I know it's her life and her stories, but can you do any broad stroke updates?

B (4:53)

I mean, she's, you know, she's doing really well. She's happy. She's working on some stuff. And. Yeah, she's just. We both got the avocado toast.

A (5:03)

Okay.

B (5:05)

I got mine with poached eggs. She did not get poached eggs, but all right. Poached eggs were really good. They were really well poached.

A (5:11)

I like. Yeah, I enjoy it.

B (5:13)

She got an Arnold. I can never say this. Arnold Palmer. And Then as we were leaving, we ran into another friend of ours, like, another mutual friend who was also at the same place having lunch with someone else.

A (5:25)

Yeah, it's crazy how small town Los Angeles can feel.

B (5:29)

Yes.

A (5:32)

For a little bit.

B (5:32)

We went to this place called the Clark Street Diner.

A (5:37)

Okay.

B (5:37)

That's what it's called. And it used to be the 101 Coffee Shop, which was, like, an iconic Hollywood diner for years and years. And we used to meet there all the time and, like, write and just, like, catch up. And we. Neither of us had been there since COVID and then it closed and then reopened as a Clark street diner. So we decided to meet there just sort of like, for nostalgia's sake. And it looked exactly the same. Like, I don't think they changed one thing. The menu was smaller. They didn't have as many things on the menu, but it was. It was just, like, nice to be there again. Although it was very loud, I found myself having to, like, shout. So that was a micro joy, just, like, kind of along the same lines as yours. Like, reconnecting with friends is, like, such a blessing. I also. Another thing that has been kind of a micro joy for me is I've talked on a couple other episodes about how I'm cleaning out my office. I'm decluttering, Right. And so I'm, like, unearthing a lot of stuff.

A (6:42)

Oh, what have you unearthed that you're excited about?

B (6:45)

I unearthed a notepad. Can you see what this says from

A (6:50)

my desk at the wing? Oh, rip. Wow. That's a blast from the past.

B (6:57)

I don't know. They once had Kate and me at their, like, wing camp, and this might have been from there, or it might have been from something else. But it's this notepad that says for my desk at the wing, which was a co Working space that no longer exists, that was, like, you know, problematic in some ways, but also in some ways, like, really great. And I do miss the actual space itself. So I texted a picture of the notepad to an old friend in New York, and she was like, oh, my God. Because she used to work there. And so she was like, wow. So it's been kind of fun to, like, find these random artifacts just, like, you know, in my. In my office.

A (7:42)

Yeah.

B (7:43)

So, yeah, that's great. Yeah. And now we will get to a voicemail about micro joys. Hi, Dorian, Elise, this is Elizabeth in Decatur, Georgia, and I am at a red light, voice memoing you in the car because I just saw a woman cross the street in front of My car. Getting into her car with an open mug. She also was wearing a very large, very fuzzy brown coat that made her look like a teddy bear. And she had a where the wild things are tote bag. And I loved her, and it made me think of you and gave me a little micro moment of joy. Love that.

A (8:31)

That's a woman after my own heart. I'm really living on the edge with my free mugging these days, because I'm not only free mugging or I'm not free mugging. I am free stemless wine glassing. There is no wine in it, so I'm not drinking and driving. But a stemless wine glass doesn't fit in a cup holder.

B (8:53)

No, it does not.

A (8:53)

So it sort of, like, balances precariously atop the cup holder. And we just have to hope for the best. I'm living on the edge, folks. Living on the edge. I know Dory's like, this is not my bag.

B (9:08)

That that really stresses me out. Not gonna lie. Wow. All right. And before we take a break, we got this sweet note. Hi, Elle and door. I wanted to share this with you because I'm a little nervous to tell my friends, and I know you'll get it. As I'm approaching 40, I realized I had great pieces and was buying more thoughtfully. But my closet still felt cluttered and overwhelming. I wasn't actually wearing most of what I owned. I hired a stylist for a day, and it was honestly transformative. She helped me edit everything. We literally evaluated every single piece of clothing I owned. We filled a few huge donation bags, and she styled multiple outfits that I can now reference. Now my closet is organized. I can see everything, and it genuinely feels like a store I want to shop in. I love getting dressed again, and I can already tell it's going to help me stop over shopping. She was so kind and affirming, and it truly felt like the best 40th birthday gift I could give myself. Highly recommend.

A (10:07)

I think that's such a genius idea, because so often when we engage with a stylist or a shopper, they're to buy new things, where I think a stylist could be really useful if they just shopped my closet for me and helped me put together outfits without buying anything new. Like, nothing acquisitive.

B (10:25)

Yes. Yes.

A (10:26)

And so if there were a stylist nearby that could do that, I feel like that would be totally worth it. And it's like you have all these new clothes or new outfits from what you already own, which gives new life to all these things that were just sitting around in the closet collecting dust. So. And often I don't know about y', all, but, like, I forget that I have certain items until I see something on somebody else. I'm like, oh, that's a really nice, like off white cardigan. And then I think to myself, oh, wait, I have it. Or I have one just like it and I just never wear it.

B (11:00)

Yes.

A (11:02)

So I feel that way about trousers a lot because I don't have a good trouser organizing system. And so I don't think to pull them out to make looks, which I

B (11:12)

need to, you know, I also feel like with no disrespect to stylists who are amazing and do great work and deserve every penny that they earn. I also feel like if you have a trusted friend, this could be something that they help you with if they have time and maybe you could do it reciprocally. Like, yeah, you could do it for them. They could do. That's a good idea. Like, sometimes you just need that other person. And it's great to have, you know, it's great to have a stylist, of course, but if you can't afford a stylist or, you know, one's not available, maybe you just have a friend come over and help you.

C (11:49)

Yeah.

B (11:50)

All right, just before we take a break, reminder that you can call or text us at 781-591-0390 and email us at forever35podcastmail.com Our website is forever35podcast.com. We have links there to everything we mentioned on the show. You can follow us on Instagram @forever35 podcasts, you can join our patreon@patreon.com Forever35. At the free level, you get access to the semi monthly newsletter. At $5 a month, you get access to our casual chat, which is now on video. We do live casual chats every quarter. We're doing one next Wednesday, April 8th at 1:30pm Pacific, 4:30pm Eastern. So join us for that. And at $10 a month, you get ad free episodes and a shout out on the podcast every month. You can also shop our favorite products at shopmy us./forever35. And after the break, we have a voicemail about living abroad in response to a listener question from a week or two ago and a bunch of other stuff. So stay tuned.

A (12:51)

We'll be right back.

B (12:52)

We'll be right back. All right, we are back. And here is a voicemail about living abroad.

C (13:07)

Hey, ladies, this is Mara Pizel. I'M calling in from Santa Barbara, California and I just wanted to respond to the caller who was thinking about moving internationally with her, with her whole family. And as a kid who was moved without, it was just my mom and I, we moved to Istanbul, Turkey in August. That September was September 11th and we were two women alone in a Muslim country. When all of that was going down, our family in the States and friends in the States were saying, come back, come back, come back. And no, it was, it was an amazing experience. I was in 8th grade to address the patriotism or yeah, patriotism aspect of it. We felt like we were representing the positive side of Americans in Turkey and that we did not agree with everything that was, you know, that unraveled after the fact. So, yeah, I think, I think, you know, all I can say is just go for it. Absolutely. As an eighth grader there, it was the, one of the most difficult years of my life. I was the only American in an all Turkish school and I would not ever change it for anything. I learned so much about the world and to this day, as a 38 year old, I identify as more of a citizen of the world rather than a citizen of the U.S. also, just remember, nothing has to be forever. You know, you can rent out your house rather than sell it. You can always come back, you can always undo. I mean, they say you can never go home, but you can always, you know, just head home and, and share your, share your adventure with your friends.

B (15:18)

Yeah, I, I love, I love this perspective also, like what a, what an experience in retrospect to have been, you know, have just moved abroad when 9, 11 happened.

A (15:29)

Yeah, yeah, and to a Muslim country too, when Bush, the Bush administration was stirring up all that anti Muslim stuff. So yes, thank you, I agree. Just go for it.

B (15:41)

Now on a totally different note, we have a voicemail about asking requesting silence during beauty treatments.

C (15:52)

Hey, Dori and Elise, the latest mini episode where you talked about whether or not you went silence during a massage made me think of this idea and solution that I have and I want somebody to feel it. So when you get in an Uber Comfort, it asks you a couple questions. It says, do you want conversation or do you want it silent? Something like that. And it says do you want it cold or warm? I really wish that when you went and got your haircut, it asked you similar questions. And when you went and got a massage, it asked similar questions because it is so I dread getting my hair cut and highlighted because it takes like three hours and if I have to talk during that Three hours. I leave there emotionally drained. I dread it. But, like, I'm kind of anxious about the confrontation of saying, I don't want to talk. So anyway. And actually, I mentioned the suggestion to my hairstylist, not because I didn't want to talk to her, but because I had just taken an ooh or comfort. And I was like, wouldn't that work so well with her hairstylist? And she, like, got offended. She was like, oh, you don't want to talk to me. But, like, anyway, which is kind of just. Actually, I did. I was okay talking with her. And it kind of proves my point that, like, wouldn't it be great if you could just be, like, silence preferred, you know, and whenever I get a massage, they always have the heat on the table, and I hate that I run hot anyway, so I wish I could just write, cool table, silence preferred. That'd be so lovely. So I wish somebody would feel that.

A (17:28)

Great idea. Why don't we do that?

B (17:29)

Yeah, I mean, I get. You know, I get it. Like, people feel awkward about, like, making these requests, I think, especially if you've been going to someone for a while and they've always talked and suddenly, you know, and you're less like, I don't. I don't really want to. Yeah, exactly. Like, there should be some sort of, you know, token or something that you can put on the door or something. You know, it's like in yoga class, if. When people. They always said, like, if you don't want adjustments, there was, like, something to. I haven't been to a group yoga class in a really long time, but there was always, like, something you could do to, like, indicate that you didn't want the teacher, like, touching you. So it's sort of a similar. Similar kind of thing. All right, last voicemail. In this segment, someone is traveling to our area and would like some tips.

A (18:19)

Oh, okay.

B (18:21)

Yeah. So this is kind of a fun one.

D (18:24)

We would love recommendations for going to the Orange county and LA area as a family. We, my older kids, really want the spring break trip to be as, like, Hollywood and, like, you know, probably all the TikTok trends as possible. Probably a lot of the things that Elise's oldest daughter is into, my older kids would love to do. But we also are going to have to be somewhat essential to Tustin, California for a couple of days because of this baseball clinic. But we really. I'm a little bit wary of the Orange County MAGA vibes and would really love some recommendations for Orange county and where to stay or what to do and even just like what it's like from driving from LAX to that area at night on a Friday, if that. Maybe we should just be staying like in Santa Monica or something for a couple nights and then transitioning, I don't know. And then when we transition to the Hollywood area, we do like Malibu or where are the areas that families would stay easily and what would families do at spread of kids? What are some like not to be missed adventures sites, all the celebs stuff, whatever, but also good food and hidden gems. Any and all wisdom would be welcome.

A (19:43)

My big tip is to not try and cross to different parts of town within one day. So if you're going to be in the Southern California area and you're going to do like a beach day, just stay on the beach or around the beach. And then if you're going to do like studio tour, pick one studio to do the tour. And if you're in that area, whether it's Paramount or Warner Brothers or if you're in Culver City and you do Sony, like just stay in that place where the studio is. So if you want to do a Hollywood thing, I totally recommend doing a studio tour. But you should do it based on what shows your kids are into. Like Ava's really into Gilmore Girls and so it made sense to go to Warner Brothers. But then like if you have kids like the boys, Rob's boys, they are really into Breaking Bad. And so they have like Breaking Bad stuff at Sony and they have some Seinfeld stuff at Sony. And so like it's kind of just do some research about which studio thing you want to do. That's always fun. That's like a special. Universal Studios is great too because then Universal Studios Studio tour has the rides and I really enjoy. There's three different rides that are part of the Universal Studios studio tour. But the overall tip for Los Angeles is like when you pick a place for the day, stay in that place, like that part of town. Because Los Angeles is less a city than a federation of neighborhoods. And so when you pick your neighborhood, stay in that neighborhood. And I really love doing the stand up paddle boarding and the kayaking with the kids. If you're doing a beach day, you could also do a surf lesson if you're down in like Manhattan Beach. Well, all the beaches have surf lessons. But like that's really fun. I'm a huge foodie. A great place to like really foodie out is Koreatown. And it's not just Korean food. That's really great in Koreatown. There's also, like, really good Oaxacan food in Koreatown. There's really good Taiwanese food in Koreatown. And so you can always message us or chat us on the Patreon if you want more specific examples. But the other tween things that I would mention are the Grove, obviously the Grove, the outdoor mall development, and there's a farmer's. The Grove Farmers Market. And you can do kind of a mid city's day there. The other thing if you're at the Grove is very nearby is the Academy Museum, which is the museum that the, you know, the Oscars Academy. And so. And that is a really cool museum that goes into music movie history. So there's a section for costuming and a section for screenwriting, and they always have cool exhibits. I remember going to a Miyazaki exhibit, and they have, like, such cool film artifacts. I'm just trying to think of, like, Hollywoody things that aren't being on Hollywood Boulevard. But of course, if you want to go see the Walk of Fame and see the Dolby Theater where they actually do, and the Egyptian Theater and the Chinese Theater, those are all on Hollywood Boulevard, and those are worth seeing. You can do, like, the hop on, hop off bus there. But there's, like, great food all over Los Angeles. It's hard. It's like such a smorgasbord. So it's hard to. Hard to be very specific, but I would say you can't really go wrong in K town.

B (22:53)

I agree with everything Elise is saying. And the other thing that I do just want to, like, note you. You said something about, like. And I'm paraphrasing, but it was kind of like, I'm hesitant about the OC because of MAGA vibes. And, like, there is, like, a small contingent of people in Huntington beach specifically that have been, like, known for being kind of maga. But Orange county as a whole is a huge, diverse place. There are not MAGA vibes in all of Orange County. Right, right, right.

A (23:27)

It's not a monolithic place.

B (23:28)

Yeah, no, not at all. And I like, I. I want you to, like, get that out of your head as you go to Orange County. I mean, and within Orange county, like, there's also Laguna beach, which is just gorgeous. You can go to the beach there. There's like. There's just, like, really cool stuff. There's, like, a lot of great food in Orange county also. So, you know, I. I wouldn't go in to that part of the trip, like, hesitantly at all. That's all perfect. All right. I hope that was helpful. We are going to take another short break and when we come back, we have some gardening tips.

A (24:10)

Yay. We'll be right back.

B (24:11)

We'll be right back. All right, we are back. A lot of people recommended going to your local library and seeing what resources they have, whether it's like gardening or about gardening, gardening classes or just information. So that is just like a tip. And this is a text from a listener. Advice. Start slow so you don't get overwhelmed. Just start with one of the garden beds, ideally the one that gets the most sun. Top it up with good compost, and grow things that will make you excited, whether it's your favorite vegetable or herbs or favorite flower, assuming that they grow in your area. If you go all in, you can burn yourself out. And it's also expensive. Some recommended sources, free classes from your local university extension master gardener program. What? Did you know that this is a thing?

D (25:09)

No.

B (25:09)

Me neither. Which will be locally based and epic gardening on Instagram and YouTube. Also Joe Gardner YouTube videos and podcast. So calming and informative. Good luck.

A (25:21)

Okay, I'm gonna. I actually need to take some of

B (25:24)

these tips myself, so thank you, Elise. Do you wanna read this next one? That's Gardening tips for beginners.

A (25:31)

Okay. Gardening tips for beginners. I live in eastern Washington and I am an avid gardener. The climate on western Washington is much different than here. I recommend cabbage, broccoli, lettuces, and berries. Berries are also a perennial and will come back year after year. Also seek out your local master gardener clubs. They often have no slash low cost education programs to get people started as well as plant start sales to help support their work.

B (25:58)

So cool.

A (25:59)

Okay.

B (26:00)

And someone else was saying, I have Seattle garden advice. Local farmers markets usually have Ask a master gardener booth staffed by University of Washington experts.

A (26:13)

Wow. Wow.

B (26:14)

Pacific Northwest is like a gardening paradise. They are kind and gentle and extremely wise. Highly recommend. Also, the PNW gardening subreddit has taught me a ton, which mostly boils down to everything grows here. So just try it. Also, everything grows here. So every invasive plant goes buck wild. Buy a hori hori knife and have fun.

A (26:40)

I need to go to an master gardener because what I really feel I need is kind of a plant doctor or a plant rx, you know, somebody where I can show them my situation and they can immediately tell me, oh, it's that this is getting too much sun or you haven't fertilized or how often are you fertilizing? How often are you watering? How much are you watering? Like I would like a place to take my plant. As if I would take my body to the doctor.

B (27:06)

Yes. I have not looked into this at all, but that also seems like something that could happen on Reddit. Like, I feel like people on Reddit love, like, diagnosing.

A (27:17)

Yeah.

B (27:17)

Whether it's a plant or a person. So I felt. I feel like if you sent pictures and you were like, here's what's happening. Like, you would get a bunch of people being like, here's what's happening. So that could be something.

A (27:28)

Maybe I'll try that. Yeah. I really have to be vulnerable, though, because on Reddit, I'm Elise Hu.

B (27:33)

So you can start. You can start a second account and just like a. Yeah, you can toggle between them and just have it be anonymous.

A (27:42)

I didn't realize that everybody had, like, monikers, you know?

B (27:44)

I know, I know. Well, I mean, that's like, basically my name because, like, I've done AMAs, like, as an author and, like, and. But then I was like, I just want to, like, ask about tennis stuff. So I started, like, a separate. A separate account. Okay. Someone else said, I agree with Elise, that herbs are a great way to start. Also maybe pick just a couple veggies, berries, or fruits that you really like and start with those rather than trying to do a wide variety. Snap peas, beans, tomatoes, zucchini, squash, lettuces are a few that are very easy. And of course, a few of your favorite, maybe native flowers. Enjoy.

A (28:20)

Okay.

B (28:21)

Wow. Wealth of information here. Thank you, everybody. Yeah. All right, that brings us to the end of our show. Thank you all so much for listening. Please continue writing and calling in, and we will talk to you soon. Take care.

A (28:35)

Talk to you next time.

B (28:36)

Bye.