Forever35 Episode 309: How to Enjoy Yourself with Rachel Goodwin

Release Date: December 23, 2024

Introduction

In this engaging episode of Forever35, co-hosts Doree Shafrir and Elise Hu sit down with Rachel Goodwin, the acclaimed author of No One Tells You This and I Am Mostly Here to Enjoy Myself. Together, they delve into Rachel’s latest memoir, exploring themes of self-care, aging, cultural narratives, and the profound connection between food and sensuality. Throughout the conversation, Rachel shares personal anecdotes, insightful reflections, and humorous observations, offering listeners a nuanced perspective on embracing oneself and defying societal expectations.

Guest Background

Rachel Goodwin returns to Forever35 after six years, bringing fresh insights from her recent move from New York to Paris in 2021. Her memoir, I Am Mostly Here to Enjoy Myself, chronicles her experiences in France, blending humor with deep introspection about self-care and personal fulfillment. Rachel’s unique perspective as a former TV news reporter and podcast host enhances her storytelling, making her a relatable and inspiring guest.

Self-Care Practices

Rachel begins by discussing her current self-care routines, emphasizing simplicity and intentionality. She states, “I have started doing, without fail, 15 minutes of stretching every day” ([12:38]). This daily stretch routine not only addresses her physical needs but also serves as a mental reset amidst her bustling life in Manhattan. Additionally, Rachel shares her approach to alcohol consumption: “I try to be more intentional with alcohol consumption... because I feel it so much the next day” ([13:56]). By starting with club soda and limiting her intake, she prioritizes her sleep quality—a critical aspect of her self-care regimen.

Experiences with Aging and Society

A significant portion of the discussion centers on Rachel’s reflections on aging. She challenges conventional narratives, asserting that “aging feels like an exercise in power” ([35:05]). Rachel contends that societal expectations often diminish women’s self-worth based on external factors like physical appearance or marital status. She poignantly remarks, “We do not understand how to talk about women's lives outside of two sort of very specific choices” ([33:33]). This insight underscores the cultural pressures women face to conform to traditional life milestones, such as marriage and motherhood, and the importance of redefining success on individual terms.

Dating in France vs. New York

Rachel contrasts her dating experiences in France with those in New York, highlighting cultural differences in attitudes toward relationships and sexuality. She observes, “There's not shame attached to sex, which I think is what happens in the States” ([25:58]). In Paris, Rachel found a more relaxed and enjoyment-focused approach to dating, where men prioritize mutual pleasure without the underlying anger or societal pressures often experienced in the U.S. She shares a memorable interaction: “When I say, ‘I’m mostly here to enjoy myself,’ men respond by wanting to help me enjoy myself, which felt empowering” ([27:34]).

Connection Between Food and Sensuality

One of the most vivid discussions revolves around the interplay between food and sensuality in Rachel’s memoir. Doree reads an evocative passage where Rachel describes indulging in French cuisine with sensual pleasure: “I buy salted butter from the Marche Bastille and make my eggs in it... followed by Lind le Praline fruity chocolate on top” ([51:10]). Rachel explains that this connection was a form of reclaiming her body and senses after a period of prolonged isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic. “I was so alone during lockdown... it was a physical sense of just, ‘I’m all parts of it’” ([47:22]). This relationship with food became a meditative and joyous act, symbolizing her newfound freedom and self-acceptance.

Reflections on Media Adaptation Challenges

Rachel also touches on the difficulties of adapting her books into television shows. She expresses frustration with producers who struggled to envision a narrative arc without traditional resolutions like marriage or parenthood. “They're unable to conceive of a world where the story is how to live outside of an established narrative” ([31:37]). This challenge highlights the broader issue of limited storytelling frameworks for women’s experiences, particularly those that defy conventional expectations.

Personal Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the conversation, Rachel emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and challenging societal norms. She advises listeners to question “who benefits from [feeling bad about themselves]” ([35:05]) and to recognize that much of the pressure women face is perpetuated by capitalist structures designed to make them feel inadequate. Rachel’s transformative summer in Paris serves as a testament to the power of embracing one’s desires and redefining personal success. She concludes with a powerful reminder: “Don’t feel bad about yourself for things like enjoying butter or chocolate. It's all about reclaiming joy and self-love” ([37:36]).

Conclusion

Episode 309 of Forever35 offers a thoughtful exploration of self-care, aging, and personal liberation through the lens of Rachel Goodwin’s experiences and writings. Her candid discussions encourage listeners to redefine their own narratives, prioritize their well-being, and embrace the fullness of their lives beyond societal expectations. With Rachel’s blend of humor and wisdom, this episode serves as both an inspiration and a guide for anyone seeking to enjoy themselves authentically and wholeheartedly.

Notable Quotes

• “I have started doing, without fail, 15 minutes of stretching every day.” — Rachel Goodwin ([12:38])

• “Aging feels like an exercise in power.” — Rachel Goodwin ([35:05])

• “There's not shame attached to sex, which I think is what happens in the States.” — Rachel Goodwin ([25:58])

• “Don’t feel bad about yourself for things like enjoying butter or chocolate. It's all about reclaiming joy and self-love.” — Rachel Goodwin ([37:36])

Connect with Rachel Goodwin

• Website: glennismcnicoll.com
• Newsletter: Good Decisions
• Podcast: Wilder

Follow Forever35

• Website: forever35podcast.com
• Email: forever35podcastmail.com

Upcoming Episodes

Stay tuned for more insightful conversations and special guests on Forever35 as Doree and Elise continue to navigate the journey of self-care, aging, and personal growth with humor and authenticity.