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Hello and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Dory Shafriar.
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And I'm Elise Hu and we are two friends who like to talk a
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lot about serums and this is one of our new you ask we answer episodes formerly known as mini episodes but now they are longer and meatier with more questions and we really get into things. So thank you as always for your questions. We have so many good ones today so I'm excited to get to all of them.
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Yay.
B
But first, Elise, how's it going?
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It's going all right. I've survived my rave over the weekend as part of my middle aged rave club Mark. I think I have one a quarter in me. I think I can go once a quarter. I think if it gets more frequent than that like I might have deleterious health functions, you know, like it might not be good or effects. So it was really fun though and then otherwise I'm in pretty good spirits. Very busy. They call this Maysember for a reason. I have this irregularly updated substack that are that used to be a tiny letter that I started in 2015 because I was keeping in touch with like eight of my friends after I moved to Korea and I would just like share links to whatever stories I had just published, not published but like reported and like some links and things that I had been reading and a lot of the times it was stuff of international interest or Asia related because my perspective was a little different from the other side of the world and I just kept doing it and it kind of grew and then substack was coming online or other people started doing substack and I was like, oh, I'll just bring it over there. But I have no rhyme or reason to it. It doesn't come out at any sort of regular intervals. But then I've been, like, all stressed out because I have too much stuff going on. And so I was like, oh, now is about the time I should just put together a newsletter. And so I, I, I was working on it this morning, and I was like, I think it starts with, this is gonna be all over the place because a lot has happened, and it's hard when you're in the trees to see sort of the larger themes of what's happening. And I think that maybe when I do my end of year reflection, I'll kind of be able to see 2026 more clearly. But I went back to a January Hughes letter, and it talks about ice and Renee Goode, and, like, that's what January was, you know?
B
Yeah.
A
So it's been kind of another crisis here. And then the year before January 2025, it was the fires one week into the year. So we've been in this, like, heightened fight, flight, freeze mode for sure. And I think it's a lot on a lot of our nervous systems. It's certainly been a lot on mine. Um, how about you? How are you doing? How was your birthday? How are you feeling?
B
My birthday was good. Um, I asked for a Kindle. Um, so I, I used to have a Kindle. And I don't know, a while ago, like, at least a year ago, it just sort of stopped working. And I had had it for so long that it was, like, out of warranty. And. And I was like, well, I have the Kindle app on my iPad. I can just, like, read on my iPad, which is true. However, there's a lot of other stuff on an iPad that is tempting if you wake up in the middle of the night. Mm. Not to mention the sort of. The glare from the iPad does not help you go to sleep. It makes you stay awake. So I was like, okay, maybe what I need is a Kindle, because I can't have the iPad in the bedroom anymore. Like, I don't have my phone in my bedroom. And so I was always like, well, I don't sleep with my phone, but I did sleep with an iPad, which is, like, almost the same. Like, there, you know, there are a few apps. I didn't, I didn't have, like, real social media. I didn't have, like, Facebook on it or Instagram, but I had, like, everything else. And so, you know, if I woke up in the Middle of the night and I was just sort of scrolling, scrolling. It was like, it was harder. It was hard to get back to sleep.
A
Yeah.
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So I was like, okay, I think a Kindle is going to help. And it will also help me read more books because I feel like I've sort of like fallen off with book reading because I was doing so much like mindless scrolling in bed. Like, I, you know, I was like, well, I'll just read all of Reddit.
A
Yeah, you love your Reddit.
B
I love my Reddit. Yeah, yeah. That I was doing late at night or early in the morning. So first few nights of the Kindle, I did not wake up in the middle of the night. So that was great.
A
Right?
B
I did wake up last night and I think it was because of Beau. He was like out of water and so he was like, hey, guys, I need some water. I gave him some water. And then like five minutes later he was like, well, now I need to go out.
A
Geez.
B
So I was like, oh. And then I'm like trying to go back to sleep, and I was like, well, I'll just read my Kindle for a little bit. But then I was like reading for like two hours.
A
Oh, what were you reading? What did you get into?
B
I'm reading the second book in the Slow Horses series. Did you ever read the books?
A
No, I don't, I don't even watch the show. But it's. The show is supposed to be excellent.
B
The show is. I've, I've watched season one of the show. It's, I mean, it's very intense. I do, I do like it. I, you know, I, I've always sort of liked those, like, Spy John Le Carre type stories, but the books are, are very good. So I'd read the first one a while ago, and then when I'm on my newfound book reading journey, I was like, well, I'll just pick up the second one, check it out of the library. So I've been reading that, but it's, you know, it's, it's hard to put down. There's a lot happening. And it also gets you like, you know, hooked, hooked. So I would like periodically put it down and try to go to sleep. And then I couldn't, and then I finally fell back asleep, but like, not till much later. But I do think on the whole it is better than having the iPad. So that is my big sleep news.
A
That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, you know, I. There's a few of our listeners who have written in because they, like me, continue to use an E reader or a Kindle that's from, like, 2014. And Amazon says it's not going to support them anymore with the OS updates. And also they. They charge with the old mini charger. That's not lightning. It's the old Android charger.
B
Yeah. Yeah.
A
And so you still have to have those cables for it. I have a million of them.
B
Yeah. So my Kindle, my. My Kindle that stopped working. Use. Use that cable.
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And now it's usb C. Right?
B
Yeah.
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More standard protocol.
B
Yeah, good. Exactly.
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Speaking of reading, Ava's making it through one last summer by Kate Spencer. And she'll give me updates, like, now they've made out three times. Those are all of my updates. That's all I got.
B
That's really funny.
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Yeah. Like, before that it was like, okay, they've made out two times. I think it's getting a little steamier. I think it's heating up. And then yesterday it was like, now they've made out three times, and I'm like, okay, thank you. I have nothing. I have no idea what's going on in the plot, but. Glad you care about what's important, right?
B
Exactly. Before we take a break, I do just want to play one voicemail. That was. That was very nice.
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Hey. I just had something happen this week that was really lovely and I thought I would share. I work at a school and a position came up that was a higher level than what I currently do, and I immediately had my co workers before I even knew it was. It was open, encourage me to apply. They were the ones who told me about it and said, you should do this. And it was so lovely to have women supporting women and just to have these coworkers be so encouraging. There were a lot of applicants, and as it turned out, I didn't even get an interview. But it was such a good mental exercise for me and expanding what I do or what I could do in my mind. And then also just to have this lovely support, I was just wondering if you and your careers have experienced that and what it meant to you. Thanks.
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Bye. One of the best stories I have of this is with my colleague and good friend, one of my close friends, Elsa Chang. Because when I was covering tech for NPR in D.C. and Elsa was covering Congress at NPR in D.C. her name is Elsa and my name is Elise, and we're both Taiwanese American. We look nothing alike, really. No, you don't. So I think I'm about like 8 inches taller than her, too. So we're Very differently sized people. And, but people would get us confused all the time. So I would get emails, like, about stories about Congress and covering Congress, and she would get introductions to, like, tech sources in Silicon Valley and things. And then when I was announced as the sole bureau chief, she got tons of congratulation notes because we were constantly getting confused for one another. And so Maddie, who also worked at npr, my ex husband, he created a, he did this like, sign for my cubicle because my cube was right off of the elevator where people came off. This came on and off the elevators. And it was like a photo of me and then a separate photo of Elsa. And then underneath it was, underneath my picture it was like not Elsa. And then underneath the picture of Elsa, it was like, not Elise. And it was like a guide, you know, like, Elsa's desk is this, this way. Elise's desk is here. And, you know, it's evidence of obviously, you know, how Asians get confused. And like the bald black guys all got confused at NPR too, because there weren't enough, enough of us. But it ended up, like, being the beginning of our friendship. We became friends through this in a lot of ways and then continued to support each other as we moved up the ranks of npr. And one of her strongest held values is being a good friend. And I think she's given interviews to the cut about this. And, you know, I'm somebody who has said again and again that, like, what I want on my tombstone is that all my friends became friends. And so she's, she's an example of a colleague who has been like, a fierce supporter and a generous colleague our entire, like, as long as I've known her. And it continues. And we just got dinner together on Sunday night this week, actually just a few days ago, in advance of the announcements that NPR was going to have to offer buyouts. So they've offered buyouts to hundreds of our colleagues now. And I think she already knew about it at the time but couldn't say anything. But it was very supportive and connective just to be together. And like, we both have pretty busy schedules but make an effort to see each other and, you know, like, host, host dinners for each other and things like that. So that has continued. And I think there's such value for women supporting women. And especially this story comes to mind just because we were pitted against each other at first. Like, we were pitted against each other as, like the Asians in the newsroom that were getting like, confused for one another, but also competing, competing for like, the one slot you know, to host Morning Edition or to host atc. And not because we were particularly like, competitive, but because we were the Asians, you know, and so like, or Asian hosts that were in the like, approximate same amount, same point in our careers. So anyway, that's a good inversion of the way that colleagues, women can often get pitted against each other, but instead be one another's big supporters.
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I love that actually, just when I worked at Rolling Stone, the, the women kind of banded together because it was such a male dominated workplace.
A
Yeah.
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And I just, I heard yesterday I got a text from one of my former colleagues telling me something about this guy that we used to work with. And I was like, ugh. Like, like we just all, like, we will always have that bond, but you need that. You know, I, I write the workplace advice column for Slate now and it's like, I think maybe because of remote work or like, I don't, you know, the, the workplace has changed and people aren't forming these relationships with their co workers anymore. It's like, it's very interesting. So I'm, I'm curious how this sort of like women supporting other women or you know, mentoring or all of that, how that has shifted.
A
I'm certainly part of a lot of group chats and things where I haven't even met many of these women in real life, but there's one that I'm in where women are constantly sharing job opportunities that are at their workplaces and saying like, hey, I can run in your resume for you if you need and it'll be requests or offers, offers how you can help and how they can help. And that's really nice. So, yeah, I guess it's happening a little bit more in digital spaces.
B
Yeah, but totally. Yeah, totally. All right, well, Elise, before we take a break and get to more of our listener questions and comments, just a reminder that you can call or text us at 781-591-0390. Email us at forever35podcastmail.com Our website is forever35podcast.com we have links there to everything we mention on the show. We are also on Instagram @forever35 podcast. And as you know, our patreon is@patreon.com Forever35. You can join at the free level to get access to the semi monthly newsletter where we discuss pod highlights, product reviews, exclusive discounts, giveaways, more bonus content. It's a fun time. Then for $5 a month you get access to our casual chat, which is now on video. We also do live casual chats. Every few months you get access to the community chat on the Patreon app And then at $10 a month you get ad free episodes and a shout out on the podcast each and every month in addition to all of the other fun things you get at the other tiers. So head over to patreon.com/forever35 to sign up and our favorite products are at shopmy us/forever35 and we are gonna take a break. When we come back we have a voicemail about fart walks and Matt came in to my office as I was listening to this voicemail and he was like what? I was like fart walks, duh. And also some, some like big life questions as well. Okay, so we'll be right back.
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C
Hi Elise and door. I was just listening to the interview about the five minute break and wanted to add a technique that has worked for me for the past several years that also incorporates that. It's called the Pomodoro technique and you can just search it and find a way to keep it open in your browser. And they also have apps for your phone as well. But it includes 25 minutes of productivity and then a five minute break and then every few segments it gives a 15 minute break. And I work from home in a role that requires me to shift my focus fairly frequently throughout the day and I have found that taking these breaks helps with that. I also spend that time moving my body, not necessarily in the traditional sense of exercise, but that's when I do my laundry, do dishes, so on and so forth. So I get things done around the house as well, but also move myself away from my desk and then it allows me to come back, focus in on my work and shift my focus if needed. And I would say right now, as the mother of two young kids that paired with an after dinner fart walk is about all the exercise I get, but I feel like really has helped my physical and mental health. And like you mentioned in the interview, no sense of diet culture attached to either of these habits. So I strongly recommend that people check out both of these things. So the fart walk was made famous by Marilyn Smith who I follow on Instagram and then the Pomodoro technique. People can just search and and they will find tons of information on it. Thank you so much for the pod and these valuable interviews that you provide.
A
The interview she's talking about is the one just from what the May 18 with manouch. So Merodi, who wrote a book on this topic on five minute breaks called Body Electric or the Body Electric. So check it out. And yeah, you know a lot of tech guys, I feel like the Pomodoro technique was big. Maybe during the second Obama administration, there were a lot of like tech guys who were into working with the Pomodoro method. I've never tried it. Um, I don't even know if I can work for 25 minutes straight, frankly. Seems like a long time.
B
I've done it and I've done it in like group work sessions as well.
A
How does it, how has it worked for you?
B
I think it does work. I. I kind of like the sort of sprints, like the bursts of work time and then the break. So yeah, I'm. I'm a fan. All right. On a totally different note, Elise, do you want to read this next email?
A
Sure. Hi Elise and Dory. Question for you and the pod about making big life choices. My partner and I live in an hcol high cost of living area, Boston and we're trying to plan for our future. We have one young child and are thinking about trying to have a second. We'd also love to have the stability of owning a home, especially as we think about our kiddo going to school in the nearest future. However, it feels so tight to be able to do both. If we moved to a lower cost of living area, I. E. Outside of Massachusetts, I feel like we could have everything we want. Financial stability, family size, homeownership. But we'd leave behind our nearby family and community. If we stay, I feel like we will have to choose growing our family or homeownership while still feeling financially stretched, but have the social community benefits of our existing friends and family nearby. We are already quite frugal and I feel confident this isn't a budgeting issue. It's also not a living beyond our means issue. We're truly just looking to settle down in a home with more than one toilet. The dream My spouse already works two, sometimes three jobs and I've been looking for a second part time gig to help add more cushion. You both have made big moves and live in hcol high cost of living places. How did you make the decision to stay to move? Would you advise your friends, slash loved ones to make different decisions than ones you've made? I know ultimately this is a decision that the two of us have to make, but I'd love to hear how you've approached this in your own lives. If there are listeners who have made the decision to move to a lower cost of living place, how did you do it? Thanks for considering the question.
B
I mean, I feel this as someone who lives in a high cost of living place and whose family lives in a high cost of living place. So, you know, I, I, I'm sort of envious of these people who are like, I'm just gonna move to this, you know, low cost of living city where I'm from. They get, they get the low cost of living and the family and community support. Mm. So, yeah, I, I, I feel you. What do you think, Elise?
A
First of all, it is not your individual responsibility to try and solve this structural problem. We were just doing this interview with Stephanie Koontz, a historian who's going to come up in an upcoming episode, and she talked about, like, because of wealth inequality, that the amount that it takes, the amount, like, percentage of income that it takes to be able to own a home or even just like, put food on the table is so much greater than it was 10, 15, but especially 30 and 40 years ago. So the burden and, like, the precariousness is certainly huge. And it's structural and it's not because you're not working hard enough. So this is not some sort of personal failing by your family.
B
Yeah. Thank you for saying that.
A
Huge. How I think about it, I also don't have family in this country right now, so my brother is in Hong Kong, my parents are in Taipei. So I couldn't be like, oh, we're just gonna move to Texas where I grew up, because my family really isn't there anymore. Though I do have community there. So that is like a cool consideration or something to think about, you know, if, if the cost of living in Los Angeles gets too high. I guess because you're saying that one of the reasons why you're staying where you're staying is the value of family and community there. Um, I would ask whether you can you feel it's reasonable to be able to build and find community in the new place that you live, if, should you decide to move. One of the most rewarding and gratifying things of my adult life are the friends that I've made later in my adult life after moving to Los Angeles, um, and coming here, I think when I was like, 36 or something like that. And so I do think it's possible to rebuild community. It might take a couple years. Um, but if it is, it would allow you to achieve your dream of homeownership. And that's something that is a real, you know, something that you want to have, and that will give you a sense of security and safety psychologically. Then you, I, I can certainly attest that you can rebuild community and that it exists everywhere. It just depends on how you value these various things, homeownership, family and community, you know, schools for your kids. And you kind of just, you could do a kind of decision matrix and try and attach value to each and see how things land. But for me, you know, we can, we can reasonably scrape by here where we live in a high cost living place. And so I'm okay, but should I lose a bunch of jobs or something and not have enough savings, then yes. We would also have to make completely different calculations and considerations because it is very expensive to live in Los Angeles.
B
Yeah, I'd love to hear from listeners about how they're navigating all of this. So please write in and let us know. Okay. On a different note, this is an interesting question. Hi Elise and Dory, long time listener here looking for some insight. I had an interesting conversation with my spouse, 20 plus years married or. He compared my avid reading of romance slash smut books to watching porn. I completely disagree with this take and I was surprised by how. My feelings are hurt and I can't quite let it go. I'm not into porn, but I respect that some people are. It's just not my thing. We had a mature conversation and I tried to get a point across that for me reading is about storyline, characters, conflict and trust, not just what he views as, quote, smut reading. He confessed that his own insecurities are triggered by me reading romance books, but he doesn't want it to affect my enjoyment of reading. He also didn't understand why I was going overboard trying to explain how it is not comparable to porn. Am I valid in getting the ick now that I know how he feels about it? Should we dig deeper into the causes of his insecurities or do I just keep enjoying my reading as life is short and there are many other problems to worry about? Love. Any feedback from you to love you both.
A
What? Is she getting the ick? Is she getting the ick about her husband?
B
Yes.
A
Or is she getting the. Oh, she's getting.
B
No, she's getting the ick about her. She's getting the ick that her husband is triggered by her reading romance books.
A
Well, he should examine that. Of course.
B
Yeah, that's, that's what I think.
A
He should examine that. But also like, I can see how porn and smutty romance can have parallels. I mean, if they sort of get you going, I mean, there's different ways to do that. So I don't have, I don't really have an issue with that comparison though. They're, they're different Routes. I would prefer, I think, a romance novel to just whatever's on pornhub.com most watched. But that's because I, like many other women, appreciate more of a plot and more like, stor. Like character, you know. But there's good porn, too. There's porn for the women's gays. One of the big problems with some of the. So much of the. I always joke, the indie short films that are produced in the Valley, one of the issues is that they're for the male gaze and they promote a lot of sex acts that I think that a lot of women then feel pressured to want or think that they want or perform in the bedroom that they might feel is coercive. And that's not good. Like, were you offended?
B
I don't know that I was offended, but I was like, oh, only an insecure person would even bring this up.
A
I mean, it hasn't come up in my house when I'm reading erotica, but.
B
Right. No, exactly. Exactly. So I think. I think this listener is right to listen to her instincts, that there's some more sort of digging here to be done into why her husband is so triggered by her reading romance novels.
A
But it's also, like, a great starting point, too, because if there are things that you're excited about or like, sex acts that they're trying in these romance novels that you also want to try, or you want to be more verbal during sex and it's happening in the books but not happening in your bedroom, then maybe these are kind of good starting points to actually talk about what's happening between the two of you and what's happening in your sex lives. I. I was actually talking to Ava about this just yesterday because she was. She's in seventh grade sex ed right now, and she was like, what's something that you feel like? One of the questions, she was doing this questionnaire at dinner, which Issa, the fifth grader, was like, oh, my God. But. But the seventh grader, she. There were questions like, you know, what are the. What are important values that people should have when they're entering a relationship? And what do you feel? One question was like, what do you feel like seventh graders should know about sexual relationships? You know, that maybe isn't talked about in school as much. And I said that I feel as though she shouldn't have sexual relationships with other people unless they're able to talk about what they're doing and, like, negotiate it. I'm like, don't have sex with somebody unless you can talk about it. And I think that that's something that's really important to remember because especially in, like, college hookup culture.
B
Yeah.
A
Or in a lot of heterosexual pairings, a lot of stuff is assumed. Like, the guy is the sharkier one and the girl kind of, like, goes with it. Or. And that's not as assumed in homosexual relationships, which I love, because then more things have to be talked about and negotiated. And so I think this is an opportunity, especially, like, what a cool thing in your home, that this is a friction point. Because now you can be like, oh, tell me more about that and just lead with inquiry.
B
Right.
A
Be like, what part of this bothers you? Definitely write back. Hopefully this advice doesn't, like, just cause more strife or anything in your relationship. We are not experts.
B
I mean, I also just want to, like, offer that she might not. She might not want to, like, do any of the sex acts in the romance novels that she's reading. Like, she doesn't.
A
She has a right to just enjoy these books.
B
Yeah. She can just enjoy these books. And I think, think, you know, her husband should respect that.
A
For the dude, like, what about it triggers his insecurity. It's a great opportunity to go into it further.
B
Yeah. All right, we are going to take another short break and we will be right back with a question about hip surgery recovery.
A
Okay. We'll be right back.
B
You know, I feel like we put so much effort into our skin care with all the serums, the treatments, facials, routines, etc. Etc. But do we think about the thing touching our skin for eight hours every single night?
A
Our sheets.
B
Yes. Let's spend some time considering our bedding.
A
Good point. Good point.
B
Bowl and branch bedding, from their organic cotton sheets to their breathable pillows and comforters, is made with ultra clean materials that are gentle on skin and free from harsh chemicals. Their fabrics are breathable, soft, and temperature regulating so you're not overheating or tossing and turning. When your entire bed is made with better materials, it supports the kind of sleep that actually helps your skin recover overnight. Elise, we just got new bowlen branch sheets.
A
Yeah.
B
And I'm kind of obsessed with them.
A
Oh, I'm so excited.
B
Super soft, but they also. They feel, like, substantial.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
Like, I feel like I've gotten sheets in the past that just feel kind of flimsy and these feel, like, really nice. Do you know what I mean?
A
They're lux.
B
Yes, they are lux. And they were soft when I, like, picked them up out of the box. But, you know, you wash your sheets before you Put them on the bed and they got even softer, like even just after the first.
A
So great wash.
B
So I'm obsessed. I love. It was so nice to come back from vacation and just like get into my cozy, comfy bowl and branch sheets. Oh, so nice. A lot of people start with the bowl and branch signature sheets and then they add the matching pillowcases and a waffle blanket because that combination makes the whole bed feel softer and cooler. It's one of those upgrades where you notice the difference the very first night. So upgrade your sleep with bowl and Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at bowl and branch.com/forever35 with code Forever35. That's bowl and branch. B O L L a n d branch.com Forever35 Code Forever35 to unlock 15% off exclusions apply. Elise, I want you to picture this.
A
Okay?
B
It's the middle of the week. You want a home cooked meal, but you can't think of anything to cook except the same thing you cook every week.
A
True story.
B
Yeah, it's like that's comfort food, but you want some adventure. Mm. But with hellofresh, you can cook up bold flavors from around the world without ever leaving home. Which I think you actually did do recently.
A
I sure did. I made the hellofresh classic beef tacos, which everyone loves. It comes with restaurant style salsa and a little chipotle lime crema. So we kind of. Yeah, we made it a little more authentic for taco night. And it's classic, yet sure to satisfy. It was great for the whole family.
B
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A
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B
Okay, we are back. Elise, you Want to read this one?
A
Okay. Hello. Writing in for the listener whose husband started rehab. When my husband and I met, he was six months sober and we've had blips. It looks like I will be having hip surgery this year to repair what turns out is not just normal pain as part of aging. I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for hip surgery, recovery or general self care tips for recovering after a major surgery and rehab. This is my first time ever having surgery outside of 2C section child births, so I'm quite nervous about it. I've never been operated on, so I. I have not.
B
Yeah, my only surgery recovery is from a C section. So I feel like this one, this question, or like a similar question has been asked before. And I do feel like our listeners had some great tips. So please share those tips again for surgery recovery and let us know what you did when you had to recover from surgery.
A
My dad has two titanium hips, so he has had two hip surgeries.
B
Okay.
A
And what I mainly recall about this, obviously I haven't been living with him since I left for college, but what I recall about the recovery was that he made it worse by not going to all of his pt. So definitely do all of the rehab via physical therapy.
B
I would also say, like, don't push it. You know, like, don't decide you're gonna just get up and walk around because you feel okay one day if you haven't been like, cleared by your doctor. Um, because I think recovery in general goes better when you sort of stick to the. The time frame, even if it's frustrating. Um, okay, next email. We had someone responding about the question about, like, tech fiction. And this person wrote highly recommend Animal Instinct by Amy Sheer perimenopause, divorce, motherhood, and AI all wrapped into one clever package. I heard about it because Curtis Sittenfeld recommended it in the Guardian as, quote, perfect holiday reading. And she was right. I gulped it up last summer and adored it.
A
I'm really excited about this. This was such a great recommendation that I went straight to Libby, my library app, to try and check it out at the library. And our public library here in Los Angeles does not carry it, so consider yourself called out. LA County Public Library.
B
Wow. That's shocking, actually. All right, Elise, you want to read this last?
A
Sure. Hi, ladies. Wanted to write in with an alarm clock recommendation. My husband introduced me to the Sunrise alarm. There are many brands, but we have one from Monroe and Company. I'm shocked by how it wakes me up. It gets bright gradually over about 20 minutes and I cannot sleep once. It's at its brightest. I love it because there is no jarring noise in the a.m. if not this brand, then there are many others. Hope that helps. Yeah. Ooh.
B
Okay. So waking up with the sun alarm. Yeah, I like that.
A
Yes.
B
All right, well, it is time for the intention zone.
A
So my leisure reading intention was fairly good. I had a lot of socializing to do over the weekend and over this past week, so I would have liked to do more, but I am leisure reading Homeschooled, a memoir by Stefan Bloch, who I went to high school with, but it's also a read with Jenna Pick. And I didn't even know this about his homeschooled life because we were in high school together, but not in middle school together. And he was basically middle schooled before I met him. And he did seem like a strange kid. I didn't realize it was because he wasn't socialized.
B
Right.
A
Wow. This week, gosh, we're getting so close to the end of the school year. It's wild. This week, some I. Something I want to do that has really been beneficial is ask for more help driving. It makes me really unhappy to drive everywhere, and sometimes I have to drive both directions, and I have too many kids to be able to drive both directions. So I want to do a new thing in which I only drive one direction for each of the kids. And then they have to figure out. Figure it out or other parent or I will ask for help to kind of do the other direction. And I think that that's going to be a real game changer for me.
B
I love that. Well, I have pretty much figured out my book schedule.
A
Yay.
B
So that is going well. And then this week, I am throwing a tennis themed birthday party. I'm excited. I'm also like, oh, I have to, like, sort of plan a party. I mean, I think it'll be chill, but. Yeah, just gonna try and sort of enjoy myself.
A
Yeah. And you have all, like, there's. You're doing it at a park, Right. So there's already tables and everything. You don't have to bring anything.
B
Well, no, there aren't. There aren't really tables at this particular.
A
Okay. I can bring some for you if you need. Just let me.
B
I have. Have. I have a table, but yeah, we'll.
A
Well, I got. You just decide how you want the layout to be and if you need more, I've got you.
B
Okay. Thank you so much. All right, thanks, everyone for listening again. This is our new format. You ask, we answer and please send in your questions, your comments, your concerns, etc. And Forever 35 is hosted and produced by me, Dori Shafrier and Elise Hu and produced and edited, edited by Sam Hunio. Sammy Reed is our Project Manager and our network partner is acast. Thanks everyone.
A
Talk to you next time.
B
Bye.
A
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Episode: You Ask, We Answer: What To Read and Where To Live
Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Date: May 25, 2026
In this lively and relatable “You Ask, We Answer” episode, Doree and Elise dive into an assortment of listener-submitted questions about self-care, reading habits, community, big life decisions (like where to live and how to prioritize homeownership), relationships, and recovery after surgery. The hosts blend thoughtful advice with their trademark humor and candid personal anecdotes, making the episode both informative and fun for seasoned listeners and newcomers alike.
Conversational, intimate, humorous, and nonjudgmental. Elise and Doree offer honest reflections, swap ideas, and always center listener experiences and well-being.
For listeners seeking practical, heartfelt advice with a dash of wit—and plenty of book and self-care tips—this episode covers a lot of ground, offering both laughs and wisdom in equal measure.