You Ask, We Answer: What's In A Dream

Summary

Forever35 Podcast Summary
Episode: You Ask, We Answer: What's In A Dream
Hosts: Doree Shafrir & Elise Hu
Date: July 6, 2026

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Overview

In this “You Ask, We Answer” episode, Doree and Elise dive into listener questions about self-care, skin routines, family dynamics, therapy modalities, grief, body image, and practical recommendations for sunscreen and exploring Los Angeles with teens. The hosts share personal updates, humorous tidbits, and candid reflections, inviting audience engagement and weaving in insights from listeners. The tone remains warm, self-aware, and peppered with the show’s signature humor.

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1. Catch-Up & Personal Updates

Timestamps: 01:35–09:40

Elise’s June Recap (01:44)

• Elise’s parents stayed for all of June; she reflects on the gratitude of their visit but also the emotional challenge of seeing her father’s aging and early-mid stage dementia.
  • Quote: "He has memories of college ... but he couldn't remember that we had gone to Phoenix to see Ava play volleyball." (03:34–03:48, Elise)
• Family meals felt "like a resort or retreat," but bittersweet due to her father’s memory issues.
• The family’s dog, Oscar, required emergency surgery in Phoenix after eating ramen spice packets and a plastic bag. This led to an expensive vet bill, making them joke about "Pennywise, pound foolish" decisions.
• Listener Kelsey from Phoenix’s Desert Botanical Garden helped the family enjoy a hot day in the desert with passes—Elise expresses gratitude.

Doree’s Family Update (06:32)

• Doree’s son, Henry, started a new camp; a counselor praised Henry’s initiative and kindness.
  • Quote: "He tried to get a game of Foursquare going, and he saw that she had a walkie talkie, so he asked her to make an announcement about foursquare convening." (06:52–07:04, Doree)
• Doree reflects on Henry growing older and how quickly childhood phases pass.
• Nostalgic discussion about parenting, couch forts, and the fleeting stages of kids’ lives.

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2. Listener Questions & Social Trends

Timestamps: 09:05–11:37

Demographics, Covid & High Schoolers (09:05)

• Listener observes a decline in the US birth rate starting in 2008, affecting current school cohorts and possibly student behavior.
  • Elise connects this to Japan’s population decline and shares stories of how aging demographics shift social norms.

Progesterone Usage & High School Troubles (10:22)

• Caller thanks Doree for advice about taking progesterone at bedtime, which improved sleep.
• Same caller shares that her son’s 10th-grade class is challenging, theorizing that Covid’s impact on pubertal years is a factor.
  • Quote: "He’s wonderful, of course... but his class has been so challenging every year for all the teachers." (11:10–11:26, Caller)

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3. Jungian Therapy Explainer

Timestamps: 11:37–17:07

What is a Jungian Counselor? (11:53)

• Elise explains the difference between CBT and Jungian analysis, focusing on unconscious material ("shadow") and dream analysis:
  • "The idea being that so many of our complexes, so many of our triggers ... are as a result of our subconscious ... known as the shadow." (11:53–12:15, Elise)
• She sees her Jungian analyst biweekly, cost is comparable to CBT.
• Elise has found Jungian work transformative for self-understanding; she recommends Dr. James Hollis’s book Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life.
  • Quote: "[Hollis] makes a bunch of podcast appearances, but you can hear him talk about ... the difference between first adulthood and second adulthood and how important it is to make that middle passage." (16:01–16:30, Elise)
• The practice emphasizes individuation and engaging with life’s mid-point shifts.

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4. Grief for Missing Pet

Timestamps: 21:08–25:07

Processing Abe’s Disappearance (21:08–26:34)

• Listeners call in with condolences and stories about cats going missing and returning, or living untamed adventures (“cat springer”).
  • Quote: "I want to believe that Abe is like living his rum springer ... best cat springer life." (21:45–22:13, Caller)
• Elise shares family rituals to memorialize and process grief, plus her lifelong love of cats, including a story about rescuing stray kittens while marathon training.
• The hosts discuss the difficulty of living with ambiguous loss.

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5. Mental Health & Food Noise

Timestamps: 26:34–30:33

Tackling Food/Body Image Noise (26:34)

• An anonymous listener, who lives with OCD, requests advice on silencing persistent food/body image noise, especially since GLP-1 medications are not suitable.
  • Elise references Virginia Sole-Smith’s advice: "Sometimes food noise can just be hunger ... taking care of yourself means feeding yourself what it needs and what it’s hungry for." (27:52–28:49, Elise)
• Doree recommends discussing options with a psychiatrist, exploring intuitive eating and shifting from restriction to joy in eating.
• The hosts solicit experiences/advice from listeners who’ve dealt with similar struggles.

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6. Travel & Teen Activities in LA

Timestamps: 34:17–37:57

Off-the-Beaten-Path LA Recommendations (34:17)

• For a listener visiting LA with teen daughters, Elise suggests:
  • Slumu Institute (for slime fans in Beverly Grove)
  • The Academy Museum (exhibits, movie costumes, TikTok-worthy rooftop)
  • Stussy Store (trendy apparel pop-up with long lines)
  • Matcha spots: Alfred’s and Blank Street Matcha
  • Love Island’s Gaul’s surf coffee shop in Venice (“If you say your name is Jen, you get a free coffee.” *(36:30, Elise))
  • Studio tours, especially Warner Bros for Gilmore Girls sets, and private karaoke rooms
  • Cool bookstores: The Last Bookstore (downtown), Skylight (East Hollywood)

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7. Sunscreen & Skin Care Questions

Timestamps: 37:57–41:45

Blurring Powder & Sunscreen Recommendations (38:28)

• A listener seeks blurring powder suggestions after using Ilia’s Skin Tint and E.L.F. HD powder; Elise musters the audience to submit recs.
• Family tip: wetting UPF layers before wearing for evaporative cooling at the beach (courtesy of an engineer husband).
• Sunscreen recommendations:
  • Vacation Whip (SPF 30 & 50) – a fun mousse option loved by kids
  • Trader Joe’s “Supergoop unseen” dupes – affordable, sensitive-skin approved
• The hosts wonder why the mousse is permitted with some brands but not others, calling for listener sleuthing.

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8. Intention Zone & Reflection

Timestamps: 42:35–46:08

Hosts’ Weekly Intentions

• Elise’s intention: “Sleep maxing,” except for the night she joined her “middle aged rave club” until 3 am at Exchange downtown.
  • Quote: “You don’t want to be the old people who show up right at 10pm ... so we’re the old people who show up at 10:30.” (43:16, Elise)
• With her parents gone, Elise’s next goal is resuming cardio exercise.
• Doree’s intention: Stay calm (and not irritable) while visiting her parents in their small apartment. She reflects on her own “quiet” vs Elise’s “explosive” coping style.

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9. Listener Engagement & Notable Quotes

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On fleeting childhood:
  • Rob’s reflection: "I want to make as many couch forts as possible until they don’t make couch forts anymore." (08:04, paraphrased by Elise)
• On body dialogue:
  • Elise: "You don’t have to earn your food ... it is not some sort of moral failing to exist in our bodies however our bodies exist." (27:52–28:56, Elise)
• On grief:
  • Elise: "I just don’t think my heart can take it ... to have him disappear the way he did." (25:07, Elise)

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10. Listener Shoutouts & Closing

Timestamps: 46:08–47:36

• Doree thanks Patreon supporters by name at the Sweet and Support Spa levels.
• The episode wraps with expressions of gratitude and reminders for listeners to connect via voicemail, text, email, Instagram, and Patreon.

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Episode Highlights & Listener Calls to Action

• The episode covers emotional terrain: aging parents, child milestones, pet loss, body acceptance, and the benefits of Jungian therapy.
• It delivers practical advice on travel and skincare, and seeks communal wisdom for ongoing life and self-care questions.
• The hosts maintain their signature warmth, openness, and humor throughout.
• Call to Listeners: Share experiences with food noise/body image noise, favorite blurring powders, and clarifications on sunscreen moose bans.

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For More: Visit forever35podcast.com for links and additional resources mentioned in the episode.

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Transcript

[Dori Shafrir]

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[Dori Shafrir]

Hello and welcome to Forever 30, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Dory Shafrir.

[Elise Hu]

And I'm Elise Hu and we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.

[Dori Shafrir]

And today is a you ask we answer episode where we answer all of your questions, comments, concerns, feedback. These used to be mini episodes and now they are full length episodes. So we have more time to get into it and we have a lot to get into today.

[Elise Hu]

Oh, awesome. Okay. I always come into these kind of blind and so I. It's going to be a fun surprise. All right, let's hit it.

[Dori Shafrir]

Well, first we have to catch up. Sorry, we can't hit it quite yet.

[Elise Hu]

I'm just trying to process the last 30 days of my life, which have been rather intense. My parents have been here. They got here on June 1st and they left last night on June 30th. So it was a nice square month that they were here. However, I feel like there wasn't a day without some sort of drama. And some of it was awesome drama. Like a lot of the World cup games I've gotten to see with other people, I didn't go to any, but I've gotten to do a lot of like World cup viewing this month I was reflecting on, which was fun. And then my mom is such a great cook and so she makes sure she prepares like lunch that we all get together and eat. We come together and eat at lunch and then we break and then we all come together and eat at dinner and then we break. And so Rob was reflecting on how it feels sort of like, you know, one of those resort or retreats where you kind of all come together and then you go do your own separate thing. And it was like that. So I feel this really deep gratitude for both my parents being here and being able. Able bodied enough to do things with us. My dad took beautiful care of the yard. He trimmed back my fig tree, My giant fig tree. He got up on a ladder and hacked that tree like a dead tree limb right off. And then trimmed it beautifully. He trimmed the citrus trees. But then at the same time, it's difficult because I can tell how he is aging. And, you know, he's kind of like early to mid stage dementia. And so he has memories of, like, college and where he went to school and his college life and, you know, the cultural revolution and the beginning of the cultural revolution and all that. But he couldn't remember that we had gone to Phoenix to see Ava play volleyball.

[Dori Shafrir]

Oh, wow.

[Elise Hu]

And so we would be at lunch, and he would say stuff like, ava, when am I gonna get to see you play volleyball in real life?

[Dori Shafrir]

Aww.

[Elise Hu]

And she's like, you did Opa. You know, we were doing that in Phoenix, and then just blank. You know, he just doesn't.

[Dori Shafrir]

Oh, man.

[Elise Hu]

No. And so that's really hard, and I have to grieve that. And then, obviously, Abe disappeared at the beginning of the month, and he never came back. And so just living with that unknown is really hard. Um, but overall, like, the fact that they were here and, like, such supports, and we had, all of us together. Oscar almost died again. You know, he swallowed three Buldak ramen spice packets, plus a twisted up plastic bag that was found in his intestine.

[Dori Shafrir]

Oh, my God.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, we went. We took him to Phoenix. Or Rob drove him to Phoenix. The rest of us flew in order to save money on his doggy hotel, because his doggy hotel costs, like, $120 a night to board him. We were sort of like, that's gonna end up being $700 or something. Let's save the $700. Only to. Oh, no, have him require emergency surgery in Phoenix, which cost more than 10 times that. So maybe we should have just boarded him, huh?

[Dori Shafrir]

Yeah, that's like a real, like, real, like, Pennywise pound foolish.

[Elise Hu]

Yes.

[Dori Shafrir]

Example.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, totally.

[Listener Caller]

Totally.

[Dori Shafrir]

I'm so.

[Elise Hu]

So. Anyway, I'm just trying to, like, process. June. Yeah, I've gotten some DMs from some of y' all in the Forever 35 community about Abe. Thank you so much. And then I really want to shout out one of our longtime Forever 35 listeners, Kelsey, who is at the Desert Botanical Garden in Phoenix, and she reached out and said, if you're ever going to be in Phoenix and go to the desert and want to go to the desert botanical garden, reach out. And she helped us get passes there. And so my whole family got to enjoy that. Thanks to one of our listeners. It was a gazillion degrees at 9am when we went. She said it opens at 6am because it gets so hot.

[Dori Shafrir]

Oh, my God.

[Elise Hu]

Because the radiant heat is so bad. And my dad actually needed to use some of like the cooling areas. The kids put to use those cooling areas as well. There were exhibits that were indoors, like light exhibits and things and. But we would not have gone but for the invitation to do so by our listener. So thank you to Kelsey. Special shout out to her. Yeah, it was. My mom loved it. She was like, I want to come back and I want to come back at 6am somebody at some time. And there was just so much volleyball that she didn't get to. But I know that if we're ever in Phoenix again, my mom certainly wants to take advantage.

[Dori Shafrir]

That's really cool. And maybe you'll be back when it's not, you know, a hundred degrees.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, when I'm not on a frying pan. Anyway, tell. So, yeah, give. Give me the update. What's going on in your world?

[Dori Shafrir]

Well, Henry started a new camp this week. I got it. So Matt dropped him off this morning, and I got a text from him and it said, I just talked to one of the counselors at camp who pulled me aside, and I was like, oh, no, what's this gonna say?

[Elise Hu]

Right, right, right.

[Dori Shafrir]

But then he continued to tell me how sweet Henry is, and that yesterday he tried to get a game of Foursquare going, and he saw that she had a walkie talkie, so he asked her to make an announcement about foursquare convening.

[Elise Hu]

That's so sweet.

[Dori Shafrir]

And I was like, oh, buddy. Like, that's so.

[Elise Hu]

What a leader. What a natural born leader.

[Dori Shafrir]

And, you know, I was like, he's going to a new school next year. Like, this is maybe good practice because his last camp that he went to, he also didn't know anyone and he made friends. And like this week he doesn't know anyone. And so just this sort of like, practice for him of new situations.

[Elise Hu]

New situations. Yep.

[Dori Shafrir]

Yes, exactly. So I'm really proud of him. And yeah, he's like, he's seeming older. Great. It's. It's really wild. I know you and I have talked about this, how fast, how fast it goes. And, you know, you have three so you see it? Yeah, a lot. But yeah, I. Yeah, I was like, oh, he's seven now. Like, he's. He's like a real. He's a kid and he's asking so many questions and I don't know, it's just. It's like a cool. It's a cool phase.

[Listener Caller]

Yeah.

[Elise Hu]

I love it. And yet I'm nostalgic for when they were littler too. This morning, Rob got all teary eyed and he was like, I was thinking about how quickly they outgrow the couch fort stage, like, where they'll make couch forts with you. And he's like, so today I did this reflection in my journal about how I want to make as many couch forts as possible until they don't make couch forts anymore. I was really. Yeah, it was like, very touching.

[Listener Caller]

Yeah.

[Elise Hu]

I mean, it was just kind of out of nowhere. But I think it's because his boys are a little bit older now. They're like, just don't do it. And he was like, you don't know when. When they're just not going to do it anymore. And so.

[Dori Shafrir]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, we got a couple of messages about this. This issue of the 10th graders, I guess the now going into 11th grade.

[Elise Hu]

Yes, yes.

[Dori Shafrir]

Someone wrote in to say one thing to add to the conversation about current high schoolers is that there was a significant decline in the American birth rate starting in 2008, which means that the seniors who graduated in 2026 were the last class that was part of what had been a pretty stable birth rate across the previous 30 years. Definitely interesting to think about how big picture phenomena like Covid years or declining birth rates may result in changes in student behav.

[Elise Hu]

Ooh, that's an interesting demographic question.

[Dori Shafrir]

That is.

[Listener Caller]

Yeah.

[Dori Shafrir]

Very interesting.

[Elise Hu]

It reminds me of being the Japan correspondent for npr, because Japan is a declining population, you know, So I did a lot of stories about schools that had to close and traditions that were going away and senior citizens who were committing petty crimes so that they could land themselves in jail in order to have company.

[Listener Caller]

Mm.

[Elise Hu]

So there are all sorts of social phenomena that result when the population's declining and then so much of it is older versus younger. It'll be interesting to see because it's happening all over the developed world.

[Dori Shafrir]

It's really. It's really interesting. We also got a voicemail about this and about something else that we've been discussing.

[Listener Caller]

Okay. Dori and Elise, there's two things that I just have to call in about. First thing, Dory, until you said Something about your progesterone being taken at bedtime. I also did not read the label and I've been taking my progesterone in the morning, so switch to nighttime. And I have been sleeping pretty good, so thanks for that little tip. And then secondly, I have a 10th grader or just graduated 10th grader. And yes, they are horrible. And maybe it does have something to do with them being hitting puberty in Covid, like 5th, 6th, 7th grade, something like that. He's wonderful, of course, because he's my son and he's great, but his class has been so challenging every year for all the teachers. So there is definitely something to that. So anyways, I just wanted to call in about those two things. Thanks a lot. Bye.

[Dori Shafrir]

Interesting, interesting, interesting. More anecdotal evidence.

[Elise Hu]

I'm waiting. I'm waiting for your slate P story.

[Dori Shafrir]

I know. Okay, Elise. Someone asks, can Elise share what a Jungian counselor is? I'd love to know more. Oh, what it is, why they meet, how often, price if she feels comfortable, et cetera. Thank you.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah, so the. The most common mode of therapy that is practiced today is cognitive behavioral therapy, cbt, talk therapy, if you will. And I no knock against it, I go to a therapist who is a Jungian analyst. And Jung, as in Carl Jung, one of the fathers of modern psychotherapy, or just one of the fathers of psychotherapy generally. That's j u ng. And Jungian analysis focuses on unconscious material. The idea being that so many of our complexes, so many of our triggers, so many of the ways that we act that are against our own interests are as a result of our subconscious or our unconscious or buried material known as the shadow. And so that if we can make some of those unconscious or subconscious things, if we can surface them and, and analyze them and kind of frack them, if you will, that we will both individuate by. And by that, I mean, like, become the most you version of you. Like, my goal is to be 99 to 100% Elise. But also it helps get rid of some of those things in your subconscious that are holding you back or making you do things that might hurt your own interests or hurt other people. And so, um, my Jungian analyst, the way that he gets at the subconscious and unconscious is through dreams. And so we do a lot of dream analysis where, like, I will just bring him dream material or he will give me some active imagination prompts to help me go into a dream state or, like, be able to better remember my dreams in the morning. And I don't Remember a lot of them. I mean, I might. I see him every two weeks, largely because of cost and because of time, like, schedule. Um, he works on a sliding scale, so what he charges me might be different than what he charges other people, but it's not more than. However much a CBT therapist costs. Probably like, you know, a couple hundred dollars an hour, I would say, on average. And it has been tremendously transformative to me. Like, I have had a CBT basically my whole life, since I was 18 and into it. I've always been really interested in sort of, like, looking inward and better knowing myself and, like, having somebody to process things with. And I actually ended up, at one point during COVID having both. I had a CBT and a Jungian. And I ended up saying goodbye to my traditional therapist because Jonathan, my Jungian analyst, was so useful to me and, like, made. Made himself, made his use, like, valuable in such a short amount of time.

[Listener Caller]

Yeah.

[Elise Hu]

So I was introduced to him by my friend Dr. Jen, who was a scientist and an ER doctor at the time. And she was like, this man. I know it sounds kind of like old school to do Jungian analysis, but this guy has returned the poetry to my life. And so that's how she said it. And then I started seeing him. My best friend Liz started seeing him. She turned her executive coach onto him. So, like, the exec, one of the executive coaches for all of Apple now goes to him. My friend Kara's son goes to him. There's so many people who I've. Now I feel like I should get free sessions because so many people now go to this particular Jungian analyst. But it's over zoom. And it's about one hour every two weeks. And you should look for a Jungian analyst if you're interested in this kind of work. The shortcut to it I will offer is Dr. James Hollis, who is one of my favorite Jungian authors. Dr. James Hollis wrote, like, a book that makes so much sense to read at midlife. It's called Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life. How to Finally Really Grow up, by James Hollis. He's still alive. He's one of the best known analysts in this field in this area. This type of analyst.

[Dori Shafrir]

How cool.

[Elise Hu]

And he makes a bunch of podcast appearances, but you can hear him talk about, like, the difference between first adulthood and second adulthood and how important it is to make that middle passage between first adulthood and second adulthood. And if you don't, you kind of get stuck and. Yeah. And your demons sort of rule your life. And then, but if you do, you can really, like, begin to open up in a way that maybe you didn't have the time or energy to in the first half of adulthood, which is when you're like, working on getting a job and forming the relationships and maybe making a family and all those sorts of things. So it's like the first half of your adulthood is about external goals and trying to, like, do the things that society expects you to do. And then the second part of adulthood is about looking inward and like being the most you you can be. So that's kind of the, that was kind of a long way to get a burger. But hopefully it answers your question.

[Dori Shafrir]

I mean, it, it's, it's intriguing for sure.

[Elise Hu]

James Hollis, he's the man.

[Dori Shafrir]

Okay, well, we are going to take a short break. Before we do that, just a reminder, you can call or text us at 781-591-0390 and email us at forever35podcastmail.com Our website is forever35podcast.com for links to everything we mention on the show. And you can follow us on Instagram @forever35 podcast. You can also join our [e-mail] Forever35. So many great benefits over there. We have multiple tiers, so head over there, check it out, shop our favorite products at shop my us/forever35. And we are going to take a short break and when we come back, we have some messages about Abe I know and then a kind of like life question from someone. So stay tuned. We'll be right back.

[Elise Hu]

We'll be right back. We're a little more than halfway through the year now, and it's a good time to check in on those financial goals you set at the beginning of the year. With Monarch, the personal finance app that tracks everything accounts, investments, saving goals, and spending. It's been so much easier than before because the app monitors my money so that I don't have to. And you can get your first year of Monarch Core for half off just $50 with promo code F35. I especially like that using Monarch has taken the mental load of tracking my finances off my plate. It was always something I felt guilty about for not paying closer attention to. But now I know I've got this financial advisor in my pocket helping me up. For instance, I can ask Monarch's AI assistant things like, how much did I spend on travel last summer? Or can I afford this vacation without touching my savings? The big difference is that most apps only tell you what you've already spent. Monarch helps set goals, map out big purchases, and see if you're actually on track before it's too late to adjust. And if you want to stay a little more hands off like me, you can use the AI Weekly recap to get a heads up on what's happening with your money. It flags spending spikes, net worth shifts and upcoming expenses. Use code [e-mail] to get your first year of Monarch Core half off at just $50. That's 50% off your first year at monarch.com with code F35.

[Dori Shafrir]

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[Listener Caller]

Yeah, hey, this message is for Elise. I'm so sorry to hear about Abe. I just wanted to share that I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest and cats just kind of populate themselves and they kind of come and go. In some seasons, you have way too many cats. And the kind of joke of being a farmer is that you would like, in theory drop your. In theory, you, like, have too many cats, and so you, like, drive many miles from home and you drop them off to get rid of them. And then this joke is that. That the cats beat you, beat you home. And so I just really want to believe that Abe is like living his rum springer cat, cat, springer, best cat springer life. Because sometimes our. My favorite farm cat that summer would go missing and then they would randomly find their way home in like a month or two. And like, sometimes they wouldn't have a tail, but, like, they really lived their best life and they came home. Also, is he a male and does he still have like his balls? Because if so, if he's kind of an outdoor cat and if he is a tomcat, then the tomtats always leave. Always, always, always, always, always leave. And sometimes they come back and sometimes they don't. They're just out living their best, like, procreation life. Anyway, but I'm sorry, I'm really thinking of Abe. That really stinks. Okay, bye.

[Elise Hu]

Thank you so much for your message and so many of the other messages I've received privately. It's sort of poignant that you mention farm cats because Abe is a tuxedo cat. He's like a black and white cat who looks like he's wearing a tu because of his markings. And. And so another. They're often called farm cats. Like tuxedo cats are often referred to as farm cats. And so, yeah, it's. It's lovely to. To imagine that. And I want to. And that's kind of where I'm going with my imagination. I don't think he could get lost. I do think that he. If he were anywhere close to home and not trapped somewhere or stolen, he would be home. He is. He was born 2019 or. No, born at the end of 2018, I think. So, you know, six. Sorry, seven. Almost eight. And he had his pockets picked. He was already fixed by the time we got him. And as a male, so. And has never had an issue. He's like come home every night and really only hung out in the backyard. So it's not like he was running even next door. My. My next door neighbors were not familiar with him, so who knows what he was doing. I know he caught me a couple birds in his lifetime, but there's birds in my yard, so. Yeah. Don't know. I. I hate having to live with the mystery. It's really hard. That's just really hard.

[Dori Shafrir]

Yeah. I'm so sorry.

[Elise Hu]

Thank you. And then we have a message from someone who tried to call in, but then texted one, I'm so sorry, Abe is missing. But two, the same thing happened to us when we lived in California, and we found our guy after three days by putting the word out to neighbors. Turns out he was just chilling in someone's house just a few blocks over. Three highly recommend tractive trackers for any kitties who go outside. We now live in Wyoming, where predators abound, and we use the trackers pretty much every day to get them in before dark. It's also fun to see where they go and how far. Sometimes in summer, they go six miles a day on those short little legs. Wow. If Abe doesn't come home and. And we are gonna already kind of. We're thinking about how to memorialize him as a family, because I think ritual is really important. If Abe doesn't come home, I think I'm not gonna be able to own a cat for a while. Like, I've had cats my entire adult life. Ever since I got my first job out of Texas, I've had cats, and sometimes as many as four cats because we would foster as well.

[Dori Shafrir]

Wow.

[Elise Hu]

And I love cats. One time I was training for a marathon and running buddy Eddie. We had hit the 22nd mile of a 25 mile training run and then herd kittens in a bush.

[Dori Shafrir]

Oh, my God.

[Elise Hu]

Near us, we heard a bunch of kittens, and so. And we could. Clearly they had no home and they had just been, you know, living there. They were old and their eyes were open. And so we ran three miles holding kittens in our arms that were, like, scratching. And we got them because his wife at the time was at the Austin. It was like an animal rescue. And so we had to get them. And. Oh, my gosh, I'll never forget that episode with the kittens and running with kittens, like, scratching us for three miles. It was crazy. But I love kitties. It's just Abe was such a special cat, and to have him disappear the way he did, I just. I don't think my heart can take it. I just can't take it. And Rob, you know, is a very sensitive soul also. And we were joking about how he doesn't seem to care that much about Cece, our hermit crab. I was like, you know, you don't extend the same. He's like, I just can't get emotionally attached to a crustacean. I'm sorry. I'm like, you don't you don't check on cece. You don't check on Cece daily. I'm always checking on Cece and his crabitat, and I cannot believe the cece is still a crabitat.

[Dori Shafrir]

Okay, we have one more question before we take a break. Hello, Dorian Elise, longtime listener of the pod, coming to you with a question that I hope you'll bring to the listeners for feedback. I have been overweight all of my life. I went from being a chubby kid to a chunky teenager and finally an obese adult. I know that it's a mixture of genetics and lifestyle. I'm working with a personal trainer and my therapist, and I've also worked with a nutritionist in the past, so I know what to do as far as getting healthier. In fact, that is my goal now. I don't really want to lose weight because in my mind, that's not really possible for me. I just want to feel better physically in my body and live longer. That's not what I'm writing about. Recently, I saw an interview with Oprah who talked about how being on a GLP1 helped her quiet the, quote food noise. And I realized that. That the food noise and body image noise takes up about 80% of my mental energy, and I absolutely hate it to an extent. This can't be helped. I was diagnosed with OCD as a teenager, so obsessing over things is kind of what I do. But I'm wondering how folks, regardless of their actual body size or shape, combat the constant food slash body noise. I would really appreciate some advice. Oh, and before anyone suggests this, I have taken GLP1s. They landed me in the hospital. Shrug. Thank you, Anonymous.

[Elise Hu]

It's so hard. This is such a big question. There's something that Virginia Soul Smith said. Virginia Soul Smith is a friend of the pod. She's a podcaster herself. She is an author on. She's a body liberation journalist, and she's an author of a few books, the most recent one called Fat Talk. Maybe I'm garbling this, but I remember her saying something like, sometimes food noise can just be hunger. Like, are we eating enough? You know, like, are you depriving yourself? And that is the food noise. So that's one thing to consider. You don't have to earn your food that, you know, taking care of yourself means feeding yourself what it needs and what it's hungry for. And it is not some sort of moral failing to. To exist in our bodies, however our bodies exist. And it's just. It's Hard to. It's hard to combat all of that. Like, we live in a society that's very fat phobic and continues to be. And maybe is even more fat phobic now because it's so visual.

[Dori Shafrir]

Yeah.

[Elise Hu]

What would you say, Dor?

[Dori Shafrir]

I mean, you know, we are not doctors and we used to always preface the mini apps by saying, you know, we're. We're not experts. And like, we encourage you to seek support from a medical or mental health professional as needed. So I would love to hear from listeners who have kind of firsthand experience with this. And I would also say if you are not, you know, under the care of a psychiatrist now, it might be something to talk about with the psychiatrist, if there's something that you could take that is not a glp, one that might help with the obsessive thoughts or

[Elise Hu]

just even intrusive thoughts or just.

[Dori Shafrir]

Yeah, or the intrusive thoughts. Again, not a doctor, so feel free to disregard. But that. That was what sort of immediately came to mind here. I mean, you know, the food noise thing is so tricky. I feel like I used to have it when I was so obsessed with body image. And then, I don't know, it just. I think I. It just kind of. Just kind of stopped, which I realize is not especially helpful in this context, but I think I just sort of got older and started eating what I wanted to eat when I wanted to eat it, and did a little bit of research into intuitive eating, which was super helpful and not restricting.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah.

[Dori Shafrir]

And trying to see, you know, eating as like an act of joy and community instead of something that should be restricted. Again, speaking from personal experience, this is definitely not a one size fits all situation. No pun intended. So I'm just sharing my own experience here, but I would love to hear from other listeners about their own experiences. But thank you so much for writing in and I'm like, so grateful that you entrusted this question to us. So thank you. All right, now we are going to take a break and when we come back, we have some sun protection recommendations. Great. And then we also have a request for fun things to do in LA with teenage girls.

[Elise Hu]

I got some of those.

[Dori Shafrir]

Elise, I feel like this is your time to shine. All right, we are gonna take a short break and we will be right back.

[Elise Hu]

We'll be right back.

[Dori Shafrir]

You know, there's something really nice about having a summer uniform.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah.

[Dori Shafrir]

You know, like those pieces or style you wear nearly every day. But they've gotta be comfortable, versatile, and somehow right for multiple occasions. So this summer, I Turned to Quince for my elevated essentials for pieces that are made with premium materials like European linen, organic cotton and washable silk without the traditional retail markup. Elise as you know I like to be covered outdoors so I'm looking for lightweight long sleeve garments. And quints really came through. I got the hundred percent organic cotton poplin long sleeve boyfriend shirt. Quite a mouthful, quite a mouthful in the Hudson stripe. I love a button up shirt that's lightweight, that's also a light color. So a stripe is great. I know I'll be wearing it all summer. And then I also got their 100% organic cotton long sleeve swing tee which is just kind of a lovely basic long sleeve. Again, lightweight white T shirt. So I can just throw it on, I can make it look a little dressier, I can dress it down, but I just needed like some sort of long sleeve T shirt. I just didn't have a good one so I'm so excited for it. And Quince's hundred percent European linen pants, dresses and tops are the pieces you'll reach for all summer long. They're lightweight, effortless to style and start at just $32. And their denim is soft and comfortable. Their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering when the evenings cool down. And everything at quints is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for exceptional quality, not brand markup. Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to quince.comfore35 for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com Forever35 for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Forever35

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[Dori Shafrir]

All right, we are back. Elise, do you want to read this next question?

[Elise Hu]

Hi Dori and Elise. I am a long term fan of the POD beginning during the pandemic when I listened on long walks around my neighborhood. I'm going to LA in late December with my husband and our teenage daughters. 15:17 we'll be going to the touristy spots plus some TikTok famous spots the girls know about like Erawan for the Hailey Bieber smoothie and the pink wall in the Grove. Do you have any off the beaten path recommendations for our vacation? Well, the girls love slime. So my first one is the Slumu Institute, which is in Beverly Grove where you can make your own slime concoctions, but also I think like jump into a lake of slime itself. So even though Your Earl, your 17 year old might be less into it, but she can still like make her own concoctions, which is fun. My older one is not as into slime as the younger ones, but the slime museum is fun and special. The other I would suggest is the Academy museum because it has all sorts of cool exhibits that kind of come in and out, but also just like the costuming from movies that they love. The scripts, the original scripts with notes, sets. It's really a cool museum. And plus it has a gorgeous TikTok worthy roof. So at the very top there's this dome that they built on top of it. Like that's outdoor, the structure and it has great views, but also it's, you know, very TikTok worthy. So I'm thinking of TikTok backdrops for y'. All. The Stussy store. I'm guessing your daughters are into Stussy because Stussy is back and there's long lines for their Stussy hoodies. The other big thing with teens, of course, are the matchas, like all the matcha places. And so the cool matcha place that my daughter likes to go to here in LA is Alfred's. And like I feel like I have to spend 70 there a week, which is insane for green powder and milk. And then Blank street, which is the venture capital or the private equity backed matcha that is very popular in London and New York. We will have an LA location of Blank Street Matcha by then. So I'm just ticking off things that are cool on TikTok. Also, if your girls are into Love island, this is a very now a very this week recommendation. Gaul from Love island has a surf coffee shop in Venice, very close to where I live. And because Gaul broke up with Jen in such a, like kind of cruel way, this coffee shop, Gall's coffee Shop, you could visit, which is I guess a little off the beaten track or at least kind of TikTok known to a certain segment of the teen population. If you say your name is Jen, you get a free coffee. That's so funny because he did Jen dirty. So hopefully that helps.

[Dori Shafrir]

I was also gonna say, you know, depending on what your daughters are into a studio tour. Could be fun.

[Elise Hu]

Yes. Oh my gosh. Gilmore Girls. The Warner Brothers studio tour has so many Gilmore Girls sets. And you know, the teens really did this Gilmore Girls rewatch. A lot of teens have, so that's a great idea. And then I forgot to mention all the cool private karaoke rooms.

[Dori Shafrir]

Oh yeah.

[Elise Hu]

That they might be into. So anyway, those are just a few things. Also cool bookstores.

[Dori Shafrir]

Love the last bookstore if you're down.

[Elise Hu]

Yeah. If you're downtown, go to the last bookstore. If you're in East Hollywood, go to Skylight with a giant tree in the middle. There's just great bookstores.

[Dori Shafrir]

Cool. Good suggestions. All right, moving on to some sunscreen questions and recommendations. We got a text that said I use Ilia Skin Super Serum Skin tint, which I love, but it leaves my forehead a little too dewy I e shiny. I've been putting E L F HD powder, which I've been happy with, but I just ran out. So I'm curious what other options? I like a light to medium coverage and have liked blurring powder. I'd love to hear your or other listener. Rex. Thanks.

[Elise Hu]

I've really liked it. Cosmetics their CC cream, but this would replace your soup. Your Ilia Skin Super Serum Skin tint. It will make you dewy, but it also contains spf so I like that you'll still need a powder over it. So blurring powder recommendations, anyone? Listeners?

[Dori Shafrir]

Yeah, not for me because I have never used blurring powder, so I'm not the one to ask about blurring powder.

[Elise Hu]

Might be time to get Rachel Goodwin back. We should put this in our Rachel Goodwin questions.

[Dori Shafrir]

I should book her again. This is a good question for her, but yes, we throw it out to the listeners, so please let us know. All right. We got an email that said this is sort of related to the question a listener recently asked about sun protection for kiddos at sandy beaches. You both mentioned that you like covering up. I totally agree with that approach. My husband and I take that up a notch with our family by getting our UPF layers wet before putting them on the evaporative cooling makes the hot summer days so much more bearable. This is definitely a function over aesthetics. Tip. Do I need to mention that my husband is an engineer?

[Elise Hu]

Lol.

[Dori Shafrir]

But I don't care if I look weird when I'm so comfortable.

[Elise Hu]

I am envious of people with engineer husbands. I think engineer husbands are so rad. They have like really practical, handy solutions backed by science.

[Dori Shafrir]

Totally. That's so funny. Or you know, engineer wives.

[Elise Hu]

Engineer wives Same thing. Engineer partners.

[Dori Shafrir]

Engineer partners. Interesting. So where do you, where do you wet? Like, I'm just thinking if I'm going to the beach, I don't want to be like, right, you shower at the. I assume. But she said we get them wet before putting them on, so. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that because I'm about to get in the car to drive to the beach, so. But yeah, I guess I would just get them wet at the beach. Okay, good tips. And then we got a text. Someone had written in saying that Super Goop Moose had been discontinued because I think the FDA said it was not effective. Oops. So they are recommending vacation brand sunscreen. Sunscreen. Their vacation whip. A lot of drugstores, Ulta, et cetera. It's not cheap, but neither was the mousse. And I use CVS coupons to reduce the price. Kids love it because it literally is like using whipped cream and smells like classic coconut SPF. Admittedly, 30 is a weak SPF, but Ulta and the vacation website sell an SPF 50 version. Also much less glamorous and fun, but way cheaper and sensitive. Skin friendly. My whole family loves the TJ's supergoop unseen dupes. The small one for face, the big one for body. They are exactly the same. I actually prefer them to unseen. Great.

[Elise Hu]

This is a good recommendation. I didn't know like, what would be a good dupe.

[Dori Shafrir]

I don't like the Trader Joe's, but.

[Elise Hu]

Oh, yeah.

[Dori Shafrir]

Okay, here's, here's something that I have a question about though. This vacation classic whip does look cool. But this is a moose.

[Elise Hu]

Why is that?

[Dori Shafrir]

Okay, right? I don't know. I don't know. This is what I'm, this is what I'm confused by. Why was the, why was the Supergoop banned? But this is like 100% a moose and it comes out like a moose.

[Listener Caller]

Right?

[Dori Shafrir]

So I, I, I, I'm gonna need someone to do some research into this. Yeah, please. Okay, now, last comment. One last rec. This person wrote. Okay, so no more dish towel wrecks. Except. And then they linked to some West Elm embroidered tennis tea towel sets.

[Elise Hu]

Oh, how cute.

[Dori Shafrir]

That look really cute.

[Elise Hu]

Time to spruce up your kitchen.

[Dori Shafrir]

I have some tennis kitsch. Yeah, these are really, these are really cute. So thank you for sending these. All right, Elise, it's the intention zone. How did sleep maxing go?

[Elise Hu]

It's going well, except for the night I went to a rave. The middle aged rave club is still going and so we weren't home until 3 in the morning. Because these stars start at 10pm and you don't want to be the old people who show up. Right at 10:00pm Right, yeah. So we're the old people who show up at 10:30.

[Dori Shafrir]

When you said middle aged rave club, you just meant you go with your middle aged friend. Not like this is a rave for middle aged people.

[Elise Hu]

No, yeah, it's a rave for like 20 year olds and but you know what, these EDM type festivals and things are so inclusive. They're really like, they run the gamut. There's like 90 year olds there, you know. But they're at the festivals. At the festivals. This is more of a club. This was a place called the Exchange downtown, which was an old stock exchange floor back in the day. So there's kind of the floor in the middle and then balconies around that over, like that look down on it. And that's where they do all the table service areas. But you don't want to be in the table service area. You want to be part of the gen pop when you're at a dance party.

[Dori Shafrir]

Yeah.

[Elise Hu]

So yeah, those, they, they don't just, they just, they're. They're called all nights or something or something like that in the whole dance party scene. And so all nighters or something like that. And so there was no way to go earlier than we went. And I still had to get home kind of late. And then Rob needed help getting on recreation.gov the next morning at 7am to book his campsite for the Sierras. Because getting campsites in the Sierras is sort of like getting Olivia Rodrigo tickets. You have to sit there and reload a million times.

[Dori Shafrir]

Yeah, okay.

[Elise Hu]

So that night was blown, but otherwise I'm sleep maxing. I'm doing great. I'm getting close to nine hours sometimes. It's awesome. And yeah, I would like to re up that intention, but I don't think it's going to be as possible now that my parents are gone, because my parents were really helping me out. So this week I'm gonna return to some cardiovascular activity, which I've done almost none of. So I'm gonna do cardiovascular activity. Cardio. Cardio is my intention again this week. What about you, Dor? Last week it was about getting ready to travel.

[Dori Shafrir]

Yes. So I'm staying with my parents. Gonna try not to like go crazy in their small apartment with my family.

[Elise Hu]

What is it like when you go crazy? Like, is it loud or is it quiet?

[Dori Shafrir]

I think it's more quiet and it's more like I need to get out of here.

[Listener Caller]

Right.

[Elise Hu]

Like a. Like a boiling. Okay.

[Dori Shafrir]

Yes. Yes.

[Elise Hu]

Because with me, it's an explosion and everybody has to learn about it. And my kids are like, you're crashing out. You're fully crashing out. So there's not one way to crash out. Right.

[Dori Shafrir]

Exactly. Exactly. I think I also get, like, irritable, which I, you know, I don't love that about myself. So trying to, like, recognize that and not do it. So that's my. That's my intention.

[Elise Hu]

Yes. So we wish you calm and easy.

[Dori Shafrir]

Thank you so much. All right, well, this is the episode where we thank our Patreon supporters at the sweet and support spa levels. Thank you to the following people. LM Alvin Ariel C. Iora Chiconi Sarah Liska Fr. Justice Biro Jasmine De Jesus Christy Caitlyn H. Katie Ashley Taylor Teresa Anderson Nicole Gas Maya Barbara C. Amy Amy Schnitzer Megan Shelly Lee Cookie Townsend Sarah Boozy Allison Cohen Melissa McLean, Jackie Leventhal Fran Kelsey Wolf Donna Laura Eddy Jettle Apte, Valerie Bruno Julie Daniel Katie Cotron E. Jackson Alicia Catherine Burke, Amy Maseko, Liz Rain JDK Hannah M. Julia P. Maddie Marissa Sarah Bell, Maria Diana St, Laura Haddon, Josie H. Nikki Bosser, Juliana Duff, Chelsea Torres, Olivia Fahey, Elizabeth A, Christine Bassis, Jessica Gale, Zulima Lundy, Carolyn Rodriguez, Carrie Golds, Auntie Katherine Ellingson, Kara Brugman, Sarah H. Sarah Egan, Jess Combin, Jennifer Olson, Jennifer H.S. eliza Gibson, Jillian Bowman, Elizabeth Holland, Katie Jordan, Sarah M. Blanca. Blanca, Kate M. Josie Alquist, Tara Todd, Elizabeth Cleary and Monica. We are so grateful for you and appreciate you. Thank you so much for supporting us and we will talk to you all soon.

[Elise Hu]

Talk to you next time.

[Dori Shafrir]

Bye.

[Elise Hu]

Awkward time to ask this, but.

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[Elise Hu]

No, I don't need to. I. I don't understand.

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Whoa.

[Elise Hu]

I don't trust my carrier that much. We'll just use your phone as a flashlight.

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