← Freedom From Fear: A German New Medicine Podcast
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- [00:03]
A
Hello, and welcome to Freedom from Fear, a German new medicine podcast. I'm your host, Ashley Newberry.
- [00:11]
B
And I'm your other host, Abigail Puccione. Please be aware that nothing discussed here on this podcast should be taken as medical advice.
- [00:20]
A
Consult your trusted professionals and your own inner knowing before making any health decisions.
- [00:30]
B
Welcome back to Freedom from Fear. We have a very special guest today for me specifically because I have worked with Marcy and she's been a client of mine, and she also is a graduate of my G and M education program, and she has one of my favorite resolution stories, and I'm just so pumped to share it with all of you and to have her here as a guest on the podcast. So we are going to let her share her story. But first, Ashley, can you introduce Marcy?
- [01:01]
A
Yeah. So Marci Bowman has been working with the human body as a licensed massage therapist for the last 20 years. She's a master practitioner of NLP, a therapeutic hypnotherapist, certified health mindset coach, and a certified nutrition coach and a G M enthusiast. Welcome.
- [01:25]
C
Thank you for having me.
- [01:28]
B
Yay. So excited to have you on. You really just have such a cool resolution story. And, yeah, I think people are going to be really encouraged, honestly, by. By hearing this story. So before we dive in, Ashley, can you review this type of adaptation that we're going to be talking about today just to kind of help people have a little bit of background before Marcy dives into her story?
- [01:57]
A
Yeah, of course. So the nest worry conflict stems from the old mesodermal tissue, the germ layer. And so in G and M terms, or in biological terms, the breast is synonymous for nurturing, caring. And in biological terms, when there is this conflict, the nest worry conflict, it could be about a partner, a child, a pet. It's concerning a loved one. And so the breast starts to adapt to help nurture this loved one. And so this is also called an argument conflict as well, which the argument could be with child, parent, partner, friend, anyone, really, and has some type of worry aspect. And so what happens during the conflict active phase is those cells in the breast gland proliferate, where you have an increased amount of cells in the breast gland which are proliferated proportionally to. How intense is this conflict? How intense is the nes wore conflict? How long have you been conflict active? And the purpose of the cell increase is to have more milk available when the member of the nest in this case. Right. Could be any of those people I mentioned is in need. And so, you know, female. Female mammals can nurse Even an adult male in nature, in times of crisis, in times of need, when, when they need that extra nutrition, extra love, extra care so that this nest member can survive. Um, and so a woman can have this conflict, even if she's no longer breastfeeding or if she's never breastfed or even is no longer in childbearing age, the breasts still respond to this worry conflict. Because as we know, conflicts are biological, not necessarily logical. Even though in this day and age, you know, that adaptation maybe isn't looked at in the same way it is in nature, your body is still responding in this way. So you go through the conflict active phase, you have an increase in the breast gland cells and then you resolve it. And so what happens during healing is that any of those cells that were built up during conflict active are broken down. And you need fungi, TB or other bacteria to help break those down. And so you're going to have possible swelling, night sweats if you have the TB bacteria and you can have pain. And, and also those breast cell glands are getting broken down, so they need to be broken down and excreted. And so then also any of the, the breast cell glands that were increased to help produce milk, you're no longer going to be able to produce more milk. Like, once you get through the healing phase, because you've resolved it, your loved one is no longer in danger and you get through that resolution phase and your breast will go back to normal once you've completed that healing phase. And so, yeah, so then you won't be able to make more breast milk, if that makes sense. So, yeah. So, Marcy, we would love to hear your specific story. What happened with you and kind of what was that tipping point for resolution?
- [06:01]
C
Yeah, so I, for a long time, and this dates back to 07. So I'm gonna kind of start at the present and go back a little. I had this weird lump in my left breast and I had. Had doctors, you know, do palpation tests and they're like, we'll just keep an eye on it. And it would get bigger, it would get smaller, but it was, it was painful and it had just existed for so long that I just was just like, oh, this is just part of my weird body doing weird things at this point. You know, I didn't know anything about G and M. I really wasn't into health or anything at that point. And so it was about a little over a year ago. I, I do thermographic imaging versus mammograms. You're supposed to do mammograms at 40. And I just resisted that. And I was like, well, just do this. It's less traumatic, and it's something. And so I had done a couple. I had just done them yearly. And last year, the results came back. You know, radiologist reads them and the results came back as, you know, if, you know what the thermographic image looks like. It's like, you know, green, orange, red and white is like the hottest. And this spot came back as white, and it never had before. It was kind of always red. And they were like, we'll keep an eye on it. So it came back and they're like, well, you really should. You really should get a mammogram. And I was like, no, I'm not doing that. Because I, you know, I'm 43. My friends are all about my age. And I remember one of my friends went and got it, and I saw her right after, and she was just white as a ghost. And she said that that hurts so bad. That was, like, so traumatic. I don't know if I can ever do that again. And just hearing that alone, and I'm like, I don't really believe in this. This modality. Just for a lot of different reasons. I was like, I'm never doing that. So they. They wanted me to do it, and, you know, I didn't want to do it. My husband was like, no, don't do that. So there is something called a her scan that's out there, and it's just ultrasound. They'll just do breast ultrasound. That's all they do. And so I was like, okay, I'll do that. Kind of at the beginning of my. My gnm, like, learnings, and some kind of toes dipped, but not fully. And so I'm like, I'm going to do this. So I do it. And they came back and they were like, yeah, like this. This is a thing. And they had measurements of it and everything. It was. It measured 9 millimeters, which doesn't sound big, but there was a couple of them and it. It felt big. You know, if you've ever had anything, it feels like a grapefruit, but really, they're like, yeah, it's the size of a piece of rice. So I just. I knew I wasn't going to go any further with it. And I knew of gnm. I had been introduced to it, and so I had called some. The person that kind of introduced me to GNM and said, hey, I'm having this conflict. Can you help me? Lo and behold, she just never got back with me. And I was like, this is something that I feel like I just can't wait for anymore. And I had been following Abigail for a while and I was like, screw it. I'm just reaching out. I'm just gonna see what she can help me with. And so that was the beginning of our relationship. And pretty much we talked about like, you know, what you just described what the conflict could be and really digging and you know, it was my. My big fat secret that I had been holding in for so many years that, you know, when all the. When this kind of, this lump started, you know, that I felt had been a time where I was. I was married to someone and we found out that we couldn't. We couldn't have children. I was kind of like, eh, like whatever. I never really felt this strong yearning for it. But apparently he did. Long story short, it was kind of the beginning of the fork in the road for us. And yeah, had other issues that, you know, I had. I was diagnosed with endometriosis, a right ovarian cyst. And they, they said, you know, you might have. We might have to take your ovary. And it kind of. There was a shocking moment where he, he said in front of the doctor, like, does that mean we can't have babies? And I, I was like, what? Like, I thought we, I thought we agreed we weren't doing this. And so that was, that was really the beginning of the fork in the road for us. Fast forward many years and my big fat secret, you know, that I divulged to Abigail was the very first person I really divulged it to. Which is weird because she's a complete stranger to me at this point. But it was that I had cheated. I cheated on my ex husband and I held it in. I lied to a lot of friends, I lied to family. And it turned into a huge mess. The biggest mess of my life. We got divorced. I never even admitted to him, even though I'm sure he suspected it. And I just been hanging on to that. And you think you work through it and you think you kind of go through these phases of shame and guilt and you think you're past it because you move on. I met a wonderful man, the love of my life, and we are now married. We've been married since 18, but you think you're past it. But sometimes it would just kind of creep in the back of my head and I would just randomly think about it and I would think about how bad I felt about it. And how stupid I felt for even doing it, because that's just not who I am. So I. After talking to Abigail, you know, she said, well, what have you called your ex husband and told him? And I was like, no, he, you know, he has since moved on, I'm sure, has a very lovely life and wife and I think children at this point. So it worked out better for him. It worked out better for me, but there was no way I could reach out to him. And I thought, there's no, you know, she. She suggested writing. Writing a letter to him or calling him, you know, as resolutions. And I was just like, oh, hell no. I just couldn't do it. So I came up with a perceptual resolution for that, which was, I will do the classic write a letter and never send it. So I poured my heart out in this letter. I apologized. I took responsibility for the things that I had done. I said things to him that I wish I would have just said and never did and kind of kept inside. I. I just poured it all out there and then I read it out loud and then I burned it because I'm like, I don't want anybody to find this out. I don't want anybody to see this letter. It's like your diary, you know, and it felt good. It felt really cathartic, and it helped, but there was just still. It was still nagging me. And so she was like, you've got to tell your husband. Like you have. You've. You've got to tell your husband. And, you know, you might be wondering, like, why is it important for him to know? It's not that. I feel like, oh, I lied to him. I felt like if he knew this when we got together, would he have stayed with me knowing, like, oh, she's. She's cheated in the past, and once a cheater, always a cheater. And, like, I don't know what he would think of me. And so I was like, shoot, I do. I need to do this. And so it took. Oh, it took a lot of bravery. And I have a really good friend who really. She really talked me up that day. And I did. I waited till I got home from work. It was a Friday. I just was like, I gotta tell you something. And he's like, oh, my God, what? And, you know, I pour this out to him. And, you know, my husband listened. He asked a couple questions which were very valid questions. You know, why did you do it? Like, you know, what was going on? Or what was your reason for it? And then he Just said, you know, we're all human, and we all go through things. You know, it's not like, I love you telling me this story, but, you know, I. I do appreciate the honesty, and I. I think it's important that you do this. And so, yeah, it felt like, you know, those last ten pounds or five pounds that you're like, just. I just need to lose five more pounds. That was it. I felt like I just took an elephant off of my back and quite literally a lump out of my boob. Because, yeah, I. I just felt like. Like, now he knows everything, and now I am honest with my person and I'm being honest with myself instead of, like, I have been a big fat liar for a lot of years, and it didn't feel like I was being authentic to myself. And so after you get a scan like that in thermographic imaging, they want you to come back in shorter intervals. I had just been going once a year, and so they were like, you know, come back in. In six months. And so I did, and, you know, let them know that I was. Did not do a mammogram, did not do what they had asked me to do, because I knew that that was just going to be more trauma to my tissue. And if you talk to anybody, you know that if you have dense breast tissue, which most women do, I think you're gonna get a call back and you're probably gonna get a false positive. And I felt like if I was gonna go down that road, that's what was gonna happen to me. And then I was gonna have a shock. I was gonna have another conflict, or they were gonna tell me something that I was just going to be like, ah. And then who knows what it would have turned into? Who knows what that would have manifested into?
- [16:44]
A
Yeah.
- [16:45]
C
And, you know, I had the support of my husband to not do that. And at this point, I had not told anybody but him and maybe my business partner. I hadn't told my. My mom still doesn't know that this. Any of this happened, because I felt like there is a way out of this that doesn't need to involve the medical system.
- [17:06]
A
Yeah. Yeah.
- [17:09]
C
So when I went back for my retest, the images came back, and my. My thermogram person, whatever that name of that job title is, was like, what did you do? And I was like, it's something called Germanic new medicine. And she was like, well, what is it? And so I explained it to her. It came back. I could no longer feel the lump. Like, even my husband, like, sometimes I Would make him touch it and be like, oh, what do you think? And he would be like, oh, I hate it so much, don't make me do it. But I made, I said, feel this. And he was like, oh my God, like it's like gone, gone. Like what did you do? I'm like, I had that conversation with you. I wrote a letter and I burned it. Like I, I got this, I got this out of me. And on the imaging it practically went away. It went back to where it was, which was like low risk, just like orange, which most nobody in thermographic imaging gets nothing. We all have inflammation in our bodies from something. And so I was like, oh, holy crap, I'm in the clear. Like I got out of this and it was within like a two week period that all of this happened.
- [18:27]
B
I remember you messaging me. Well, because you messaged me like one week later and you were like, I did it. Like I did it. I had the conversation and I wrote the letter and I burned it. And I was like, woohoo. Like that's, you know, I mean that's a really big step. Like that takes a lot of courage. And so I was like super excited. And then I think you sent me a message a week after that maybe and you're like, oh my God, it's gone. Like it's just gone. And you even told me because I remember in our session I had said, well, when you resolve this, you know, keep an eye out for like night sweats and blah, blah, blah. And I remember you telling me that you had, I don't know, like a week of night sweats or something.
- [19:04]
C
And then it was a long week of night sweats. It felt like, oh my God, am I like Satan is coming out of me? It was bad. Like air wet, like grow.
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B
Yep.
- [19:18]
C
Yeah. So yeah, I truly don't know where I would be if I hadn't just done this and, and kind of followed the rules per se. Even though, I mean there's not hard and fast rules, but just, just taking a chance. And I think that's what like my, like my main point when I try to explain G and M to anybody is, you know, what if you just tried this? Like it's not hurting anything, it's not costing you anything. But what if you just tried to change, you know, like Abigail, you know, had showed. What if you just changed this line? What if you just put on a different pair of glasses and just look through this pair of glasses and just took a chance? Because is, are the other things really working Is going and getting a mammogram every year after you're 40, is that really working for you? And getting a call back and going, well, we might not found something. Is that working for you? Is. Is holding all these emotions and like, you know, these conflicts that you. That we all have in our life, big or small, is that working for you by just holding it all in? Because I truly did think, oh, I got past this and I thought I was good. And then, you know, other things just kept coming up for me, kept manifesting for me. And so it's like, well, what. What if I just try this? And so what if anybody just. Just tried this on and just tried these different glasses on. It could change your life so much. I mean, it's changed. It's changed me dramatically. And just getting all that off of my chest, it's changed me and my husband's relationship. And in my point of view, like, okay, because I would always kind of fear, like, what if somebody came back? Who, you know, the guy that I cheated with, what if he came back and said something to my husband? What if. And all these weird scenarios that we do in our head, how devastated would he be if he heard that from somebody else? Or. I don't know, you just, you worry about these things and it's like, is holding it in and doing all these other modalities, which takes you on a long and winding road all the way around the thing, or you can just go and take the shortest road into the thing is going to be a bumpy one. But what is it? What's working for you? Because the traditional medical system was not working for me. I mean, I wish I would have found this sooner only because maybe I could have avoided, you know, having these surgery. I had two surgeries for endometriosis. Shockingly, they didn't work. I wonder why. So, you know, and I guess I should, you know, proclaim that, you know, for the last 10 years, I've been on a. I'm a healthy person. I. I go to the gym four to five times a week. I. We eat very clean. You know, my husband is a former bodybuilder. And that's just a lifestyle that we live. And so it's. I already did those things. I already cleaned up. You know, everybody was your diet, and it's going to be because you have dairy and because this or that. And I already, I already did all that. I'm a very healthy woman otherwise. But it was just these little nagging things inside of me. Never wanted to give it up. I was going to hold that until, until the end. And lo and behold, if I just let it out, I feel better and this lump is gone and I'm not having these issues anymore. So.
- [23:18]
B
Wow, what a, what a cool story. And just going back to the type of conflict for a minute, the nest worry. You know, there's this worry in the nest. And of course, you know, we'll talk about the initial conflict shock, which you already touched on, but just to see how like, okay, why did this conflict continue to be a chronic thing? Right. Because there was likely some tissue buildup, some breakdown. Buildup, breakdown, you know, just like very, very minor. Right. But it, it was there, that lump was there for a really long time, you know, changing sizes a little bit.
- [23:49]
C
Right.
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B
But it persisted. And so it's just interesting to me to see how one worry in the nest kind of transferred on then to the next husband. Then there was the worry about him maybe finding out the secret and just all of that. But what I want to also point out to people, and you can kind of describe this in your own words, but you know, for you, you're right handed and this was your left breast. So why did it land on the mother child side? And I think there's two potential reasons that we, that we fleshed out there. Yeah, yeah. But I also just want to say, I think that that's really such a testament to how individual we all are with our perceptions of the world around us. That for you it was not necessarily the conflict shock. Finding that, oh, that, you know, here, and this is way before you knew G and M. But finding out that you might lose your ovary. Right. That they might take out the right ovary. That wasn't the conflict shock. It was your ex husband's reaction that caught you off guard about, oh, well, what do you, oh, then we won't be able to have kids. Right. And you're like, wait a minute, I thought we were on the same page about not wanting to have kids. Like, that's a really big conflict right there. Yeah.
- [25:06]
C
And then being put under anesthesia moments later.
- [25:08]
B
Right. Yeah. And so anyway, I just wanted to point that out. But then also what you described to us before we started recording, also about feeling like you needed to, to mother him in some way. Right. So this conflict is about both that, you know, there's this worry in your nest. You know, things are not quite right with your ex husband. But then also that conflict around not necessarily not being able to have kids. Like you weren't conflicted about that it was rather his reaction, which is about this hypothetical child. Right. So anyway, if you just want to touch on that, like, why Mother, child side.
- [25:48]
A
Yeah.
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C
So I think he had been holding back. I think it was something he wanted, and it just. He never pushed the issue. So that was number one. But number two, he had been estranged from his mother for over 20 years. There was just his own situation with that. And, you know, I felt like a lot of times, like I was his family. I had to take care of him in more ways than just like a wife. Like, I just. I felt like he was now not my child. I never viewed him as my child, but it was just like, I have to take care of him because he doesn't have a mom to go and be like, you know, vent to or. Or a shoulder to cry on. I felt like I had to be that person for him because very small family and then didn't really have a mother figure for a very long time. And so, you know, he wasn't a needy man, but he. He needed that. And so I was not only a wife to him and a. And a friend to him, but I. I turned into. I. I felt more maternal, maybe towards him just because of. Of his life situation. So just a very different type of situation.
- [27:12]
B
So do you remember that moment when you were told or when he responded? Is that when you felt caught off guard?
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C
Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes. We were at the hospital, and I. I had had a right ovarian cyst and endometriosis, and they came in and said, you know, depending on how adhered to your ovary that this cyst is, we may have to take your ovary. Is that okay? Because we can't ask you once you're under anesthesia. And I instantly was like, oh, yeah. I was like, no problem. Take anything. But he was like, well, wait a minute. Does that mean we can't have children? And I was like, what? Like, I thought we talked about this. I thought we were on the same page. I thought you were cool with this lifestyle. And I was so caught off guard, and then there they are putting that. That thing over my face and kind of wheeling me out. And I was just left like, what the heck? And so, you know, after surgery, it was very much like, why did you say that? And he reverted back. I don't know. I don't know why I said. It just. It just happened. I'm not real sure. And I don't think he was. I know he wasn't being honest with himself on his wants and his Needs. And he just kind of backpedaled and downplayed it, like, I don't want to get in trouble. I don't want to start a fight, that type of thing. They didn't end up taking my ovary. And maybe that's why he just stayed quiet about it. I'm not sure. But from that point that, I believe was the fork in our road in our relationship, where it was just like, I'm gonna kind of go do my thing. You go do your thing. And we just slowly shifted apart, became more friends. We. We still got along great, but it. It didn't feel. The connection was kind of lost. We. We lost visibility of each other in that aspect.
- [29:12]
A
Yeah. Yeah. So a question I wanted to ask you is how long was, like, when you got together with your husband versus this surgery that you just mentioned? And was there some type of flavor of this needing to take care of him, like, that whole time, or was there a moment where the dynamic kind of shifted and then you felt kind of more like you were mothering him, or was it, like, just since the beginning?
- [29:49]
C
Yeah. We had been together for, I would say, four years prior to that. And, you know, it's funny, looking back, I. I once ran into his aunt, and she said, you know, we do wish you. We wish you well, but we never understood why you guys were together. You have nothing in common. And when we met each other, we were kind of both young and broke and from the same area, and we were just clinging to each other. Very nice guy, great guy, but we were clinging to each other. And he. He had been estranged from his mom for a time before that. So it was this life raft, if you will.
- [30:33]
A
Yeah.
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C
And so it was for me in a certain way, but for him, maybe in more ways than just we're both broke. If we live together, we can. We can make friends, and we can. You know, we could do this. But for him, I think it was more of, like, needing that maternal, that female, just like, person in his life. So I do feel like it was like that from the jump, whether I realized it or not. I do. I. I do feel like it was like that from the beginning.
- [31:06]
A
Well. And do you feel like that kind of outlook on your relationship, looking back, like, how do you feel like that set you up for this type of conflict?
- [31:21]
C
Well, I. I feel like I wasn't ready for that. Clearly, I wasn't ready for kids. I still don't feel like I'm running for kids, but I think I was put in a position where a lot Was expected from me.
- [31:40]
A
Yeah.
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C
And it was a lot of weight on my shoulders. Like, I need to be wife, but I also need to do be these other things to him.
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B
Right. Maybe that's part of the reason, though, that you initially didn't want kids. Like, part of the equation. Like, oh, I'm already kind of taking that mother for the spouse. Right?
- [32:03]
C
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I think. And even with the dynamic with his dad, who was still in his life, I kind of felt like I was kind of being a matriarch to both of them. He was kind of needy and he would always make comments like, when are we having grandbabies? When we having grandbabies? And I would be like, slow your row. Stop it. So, yeah.
- [32:32]
A
Yeah, it's. It's always so interesting taking stock of what led up to the actual conflict shock moment. Because so many times, whether it's the Nestbury conflict or some other conflict, it's like we have all of this kind of foundation that's built up to, like, the conflict shock moment. And it's always so fascinating to. To take a look back and see. Yeah.
- [32:58]
C
What.
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A
What led up to this moment, even being eligible for a conflict shock. Right. And. And seeing those. Those patterns is always just. Just so interesting and seeing how, you know, for you, Marcy, that you were kind of set up for this conflict in a way, and somebody else is kind of set up based on their, you know, personal history and beliefs and all of that for something else. Right. And yeah.
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B
Like what.
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A
What are. What are our outlooks and how do those. Yeah. Become primers for. For conflicts and for our perception and. Yeah, absolutely.
- [33:45]
C
And I think, you know, if you're going to do this work, it was important, you know, when I worked with Abigail to play detective and work the case all the way back and, you know, think about the things that had happened in my life, the situations that had happened, the events that had happened. And not only just. It helped me tremendously, just to write it down and then sit with it, think about it, feel it, accept it, and then kind of go back even a little bit further and go, wait, that was the beginning. No, no, because this happened. That was the beginning. And so I. I'm big on journaling. I have been for the last couple of years. And then once this all played out, I realized it was so much more cathartic and just helpful for me than just like, you know, today I didn't feel well, like, I'm tired. It was more of, you know, being in the now, but also looking back and being Able to see, like, why does this trigger me so much?
- [35:01]
A
Yeah.
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B
And.
- [35:03]
C
And really looking for answers instead of just, you know, writing thoughts. It's like looking for. Looking for triggers. Looking for just anything. Because, you know, like you said, what. What would have triggered me or shocked me in that moment would have been somebody's dream. Like, you want to have a baby with me?
- [35:25]
A
Yeah.
- [35:26]
C
And that just. That's just not me. So, you know, I just think that applying everything that I've learned just in my studies and with Abigail and, you know, at the paradigm shift this weekend was. There was so many aha moments, just listening to these other people talk about all these different subjects, it made me feel like I have such a ways to go. But then it also made me feel like how much I had changed in the last couple years. Like, I have changed tremendously. And so just. It gets you more in touch with your authentic self. Because all these years, I had been lying to not only everybody around me. Maybe not lying, but definitely not telling the truth, but also lying to myself, like, nope, I'm okay. I'm okay. It's good. It's in the past. He's moved on, I've moved on. Everything's great. But it wasn't within me, and I just wasn't living authentically.
- [36:36]
B
Yeah. When there's a secret, that's always the big. Actually, when you told me in our session, like, oh, I've actually never told anyone this, I was like, whatever it is, that's it. Like, that must be the thing, because, man, things that are secrets that we don't tell people, you know, if it's like, oh, I've never told anyone this, or I've, you know, think about what's underneath that, you know, the shame that, you know, not wanting to talk about it. Right. That's a really big indicator. So for anyone listening out there, and you're like, oh, I'm having trouble finding the conflict.
- [37:07]
C
If you're.
- [37:07]
B
It's not always the most big obvious thing that you've talked to therapist after therapist about, you know, the big T traumas in your life, Right. It's probably something a lot, maybe even seemingly minor to you, that you're like, oh, no, that wasn't a big deal. No. And you just kind of shove it under, you know, goes into the subconscious, right. And you. You know, anytime it tries to pop up, you just whack it back down. And it's like, oh, no, it's not that. I'm fine. Right. Because we. We lie to ourselves, especially when whatever is wanting to come up is maybe not in alignment with how we want to see ourselves. And so when that self image. I think I've shared a story before on the podcast about this specific thing like that, this conflict that led to my recurring stink. Conflicts. Right. It was something that made me look kind of ugly, kind of bitchy. And I was like, I don't want that to be the conflict. Like, no, thank you. Like that, you know, that's something I don't want everyone. Everyone to know. But, you know, realizing that was a big part of the resolution. And just to, you know, honestly commend Marcy for the fantastic job that she did, actually doing it, you know, because I was so excited in her session, because I was like, marcie, I think that there's actually a practical step that you can take. Like, yes, it's a perceptual resolution, but there's something practically you can do that I think is going to help move the needle. And she did it, like, within a week, she did it. You know, she wrote the letter, earned it, had the conversation with the husband, and that was what did it for her. And also, just so people know, you know, Marcy had been learning about GNM a little bit for. How long was it before? Like, a year before.
- [38:55]
C
It was a year before, yeah. Is when I was introduced to it. And, you know, I had bought psychic roots and I would thumb through that if something would ever happen. Except for, like this, of course, naturally avoid. That doesn't work. Yeah. I had been learning about it for about a year, just kind of dipping my toes into it.
- [39:19]
B
So I think, because she was going through that process of learning, dipping her toes in it, kind of questioning probably her current paradigm a little bit. She was at the point of. Oh, and I think you had told me when we first met that you already had another resolution story that with migraines or something.
- [39:38]
C
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I. It was at my NLP training, and the person who taught me NLP is, you know, an enthusiast of gnm. And so we dabbled in that for one full day. And so when we would do our NLP breakthroughs, you know, they were like, pick something small. Pick something. Do not pick, you know, a symptom of your body. And I was like, I suffer from chronic migraines. I've been, I average 13 to 15amonth. And I mean, my life was. I was debilitated. Social events maybe, maybe not, because I didn't know how I was going to be that day. And I would have to Just grin and bear it at work, because what am I going to do? Take 15 days off a month? That doesn't even make any sense. So I was like, I'm just going. I'm going to do this. So the person I worked with, we did it and we worked on it, and literally I had. I'm not even lying. I know this sounds fake. I had a headache the day we did my breakthrough and my session. And when we got down to the deep depths of that, it was gone. And then I did not have a headache for. I would say, and I won't even say a headache, a migraine either, or for about a year and a half. And now I'll get, like, I'll get a random one. I mean, you're not immune to things to ever happen again. But that alone totally changed my life and made me the believer that I was already. Because if you could get rid of, you know, I had had brain MRIs, I was on several different medications that nothing, you know, nothing was helping. And my neurologist actually told me, I was like, what is causing these headaches? And this had been years. And he was like, you're just a lucky 5 percenter who we just don't know. You know, you're healthy, you eat really well. You. You're. You're fit. You know, you're doing the protocol. You're. You're symptom journaling. You're. You're journaling your food. Like, you're just, you're doing everything. And at your age, like, there's. We just don't know. And so you're just going to have to live with this for the rest of your life. And, you know, they wanted to do Botox. They wanted me to. He. He really was pushing me to be on a, like an. A medication for people with epilepsy, because somehow that works with the migraine. And I was like, okay, well, when do I get off of that? And he was like, oh, it's never. You're just always on this. And I was just like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I. I was not going to accept that.
- [42:29]
A
Yeah.
- [42:30]
C
So just with my migraines being resolved, I was like, this is something. And it. It didn't cause me physical harm. I wasn't under duress. Well, I mean, I was a little, but not in that way. Like, I didn't have to pay, you know, a bunch of money to, like, go through these crazy treatment plans. I didn't owe anything to the medical establishment. I didn't have to go in for more MRIs. Like, and, you know, just going back to my comment before, if you were on the fence and you were really struggling with something, I just cannot figure out why you would, like, poo poo this. Like, why would you not just try this?
- [43:13]
A
Yeah, well, and I think you. You mentioned this earlier, and you were saying that about the cost, right? That it doesn't cost you anything. Maybe not financially, but. But it costs you letting go of your old beliefs, right, And. And trying something new. That. And maybe you've tried so many other things that it's like, oh, well, is. Is this gonna work or is this just gonna be another failed tool that didn't work for me, but worked for somebody else? Right. So. But I can't remember which episode we talked about this on, but. But Germany. Medicine is not a tool, but it is a lens through which we can understand our bodies and our biology, and it's. It's how our bodies and our psyche respond to things. And so it's not that, you know, that G and M only works for certain people or works, you know, works for some people and doesn't work for others, but when you get to that deep root of whatever that conflict is
- [44:24]
B
about,
- [44:26]
A
you know, that's how you responded. And so, you know, with. With what you're sharing, Marcy, like, you already had the awareness and all of that and. And connecting those dots before you ever worked for. With Abigail, which is why you were. You were ready and you were able to have that big shift in. In your perception, in your psyche, and to. To do those actual steps that brought you through, through the resolution. And. Yeah, the only way out is through. Right. We can do all these other things all beating around the bush, but, like, you just have to, you know, if. If you want that true resolution, it's getting to the heart of the matter. And. Yeah, so. So I did want to ask a clarifying question, though, about your story real quick. So you said that you. You wrote out this letter to your ex husband and then you burned it. Did you ever talk to him at all? Okay. No. Okay.
- [45:30]
C
No. He moved to a ways away, and he has his family and his life. And I thought, I'm not disrupting that. I'm not going to cause chaos in his life because I'm going through this thing right now.
- [45:49]
A
Because you need to, like, unburden yourself, right?
- [45:52]
C
I felt it was just off the table.
- [45:55]
A
Well, and I love, though, that. That you didn't need to do that, but, like, what you needed to do was talk to your current husband. And. And share with him all that it brought up, which is actually, you know, a better resolution than. Right. Trying to dig up some. Some stuff with an ex in the past when, you know, you're not even with that person anymore. And. Yeah, just how. How beautiful that you were able to. To talk with your current husband and work through that, because, yeah, that can be a big shift. And letting go of that fear and worry about, Right. If he found out or what he might think of you or his perception of you or other people is. Is huge.
- [46:40]
C
So big time. And they're all gonna know now.
- [46:44]
A
It's okay. My family knows so much because they
- [46:47]
B
all listen to these.
- [46:48]
C
But don't you feel like. I feel like after doing this, I think I'm gonna have even more resolution because, you know, I told my husband, I, like, maybe told a couple people close to me, but really not many. But now it's like, it's out there. There's no secret. Like, you can't get me.
- [47:09]
A
Yeah. Yeah.
- [47:10]
B
So, yeah, secrets are what still hold power over you. Yeah, go ahead.
- [47:16]
C
Yes. No, I was just gonna say I think, too, you know, it's so important to have. I never felt like I had anybody around me that I could be, like, that raw with and that authentic with and that open, like, dialogue with. I just felt like I have to keep this to myself because this is so shameful that I think it's so important to have people in your life, no matter if it's, you know, a random person like Abigail was to me, or, you know, friends or a spouse who. Who is going to be able to just, you know, listen and not judge. Because for me, that. That's what made all the difference in the world. And I should add, too, you know, going back in my story, when I told my gynecologist that I wasn't going to do a mammogram, there was. There was kind of an upheaval in the office because, well, you're 40. You have to. This is just what you do. And I was like, I'm good. So she kind of agreed with me. Well, just have the thermographic images sent to me, and at least you're doing something. And I'm like, okay. So did that go in the next year for my annual. And they're like, well, here's the information on the mammogram. I'm like, I'm good. I don't even need the paperwork. And I actually heard them outside of my treatment room door. I'm in my paper gown, and the nurse Said, she doesn't. She's refusing the mammogram. And the doctor was like, I know. I just. I don't get it. And she said, who. Who refuses a mammogram? What. Like, what is she thinking? And the doctor is like, I don't know. And then acted like. I'm like, you realize I just heard that whole entire conversation, right? So then I do the thermographic imaging, and the results get sent to them. And I. Results got sent to me first. Results get sent to them. They call me, hey, we got your thermographic imaging results, and it's indicating that you need a mammogram. And I'm like, oh, what page is that on? And she said, excuse me? I said, you do. What page is that on? Because I looked at this whole thing and she just sat there. I said, what page did you read that on? And she said, so you don't want it? I said, just tell me what page it's on so that I can read it for myself.
- [49:52]
A
And she's.
- [49:52]
C
So I'm just going to put you down as if you don't want it. Okay, thanks.
- [49:54]
B
Bye. Yeah. Wait, which thermogram was this?
- [50:00]
C
This was the. The one the year before this happened. This was just.
- [50:05]
B
Okay.
- [50:05]
C
There was nothing on there. But they. They just want. They're just pushing that agenda. And so here I had this doctor who claimed that she supported me, and she really didn't support me. And they're just out to make those dollars. They really are not. If this is your point of view, they're just not aligned. And you're going to always be kind of fighting that system. And then it really just kind of worked itself out, because after this all happened, it was literally the same week I got the notice. You need to call in to make your annual appointment. So I call and they say, oh, okay, Marcy, are you still uninsured? Because I don't have insurance. I. It's never affected me yet. And I'm 43. And I said, no, I'm. I'm just cash pay. I mean, you have to pay before you even go back. She said, that's funny, because we just stopped taking cash pay. And I'm like, what? And she said, yeah, we can't take you anymore as a patient because we stopped taking cash pay. And I thought, you know, I know a lot of doctors, and I know that they make more money from cash pay people than they do with insurance. And it was just kind of this, sorry, and they let me go. And so it was just like, all this. And I was like, yeah, this was meant to be. You are not my people. Maybe you're for other people, but you're not my people. And so that was just kind of one more person is like, let's usher them out. I. I don't need these types of people or practitioners in my life. And so that just kind of, like, really added to the story. And I mean, we could go on and on because we all have our stuff, but that totally put me into, like, a KCT program because at the beginning anyway, because I was just like, I can't even have a doctor. My doctor even rejected me. I don't even have a practitioner. No practitioner even wants me. And so then that got in my head. I didn't let it go for too long because I was just like, this is dumb. Like you. We don't even see things the same way. So there are so many things, you know, like Abigail said, that can affect you. And they don't have to be huge. They don't. Everybody, when I talk to about gmm, they think, you know, a traumatic or shocking, like, you know, which. Which these things are. But, like, it can be, yeah, something huge happening, but it can just be something small, like your doctor saying, yeah, we don't want you here anymore. But it was all within that very feminine realm of just, like, being a woman and this should be a supportive environment, and it wasn't. So, you know, you just. I feel like you have to advocate for yourself. You have to stand up for what you think is right. And how many times have we heard somebody tell a story and they're like. And I just knew that something wasn't right. And I just kept digging until. That's it. And you just. You just. It's an inner knowing. You just know that this is not right for you or it is right for you. And I just knew that these modalities and these people were not right for me and got the hell out of there.
- [53:31]
B
And again, I just want to emphasize that before Marcy even came to work with me, she was. She was ready, actually, I think I told you in our session together, or. No, you told me. You were like, I am all on board. Like, I am 100% in with GNM. Because you had this personal experience built up, right? You had been learning it, you know, kind of on your own for about a year, and you had this experience with finding the underlying conflict with the migraines and resolving that conflict. And you. You saw it, and so you had some personal experience built Up. So that's my recommendation to anyone out there. You know, build some experience for yourself. Start with something, you know, small. It doesn't need to be necessarily, you know, chronic migraines that you're having, you know, 14 or 15amonth. I mean, you kind of went for a big one there right off the bat, right? But it can be a pimple, right? It can be something, you know, a little smaller. Start building an evidence folder for yourself, right? Start filling it with evidence. Seeing how adaptations play out in your life. You know, start trying on a different pair of glasses. You know, start questioning whatever paradigm you're currently in, which is what Marcy was doing. She was like, huh, I don't love how I'm getting treated by. By, you know, conventional medicine. Right? Or even some holistic stuff. Like, this isn't quite adding up to me. This is like, I've been super healthy. Like, why do I still have this breast lump? Like, you know, all this stuff that just wasn't adding up to her, and she was questioning and then observing how she was being treated, right? And, you know, is this what I want? Does this make me feel supported? Does this make me feel, you know, more secure? And so I think everything that you were already doing, like, you were at the point where you were already kind of shifting into that GNM paradigm, and you were so ready for that full, you know, that. That kind of final piece of the puzzle, that paradigm shift. And, yeah, you were just really. You were ready. You were, like, all in. And you're like, you know, I. Like, I believe in gnm, and. And I'm ready to find it, you know? You were ready to see your stuff. Um,
- [55:41]
C
yeah, I think even if you don't fully know what it's going to entail, if you can just keep an open mind, which is what I was doing, like, this. This could work. This may not work. You know, some people are half sold on this and they get stuck on one part of it, but you get to a point where your back is up against the wall and you truly are just like, what do I. What do I have to lose? Like, just stay open to it.
- [56:13]
A
Yeah. Yeah. Well, before we wrap up, was there anything else that you wanted to share, Marcy? Any final, final words for this episode?
- [56:26]
C
I would just say to anybody who is listening, stay true to yourself. And if it doesn't feel right or authentic, question it, journal it, meditate on it, and whatever keeps coming up and rattling around in the back of your brain, you know, like Abigail said, is this like, then that's it. That, that's going to be, that's going to be the thing, big or small, and you would be, you know, shocked at the amount of resolution that you can get. So just stay, stay open to it.
- [57:02]
A
Yeah.
- [57:04]
B
And be willing to do the, the hard stuff.
- [57:06]
C
Right.
- [57:07]
B
Like what? I. I don't think we can emphasize this enough. Like, what Marcy did was not easy. And I know some people are like, oh, I wish I had that sort of practical resolution available to me. You always have practical steps that you can take to help facilitate perceptual resolution. You know, maybe this means deleting social media from your phone. Maybe this means moving to a new city, breaking up with someone, having a tough conversation. Right. So there's always something. Even if it's going to be a perceptual resolution. You know, even if you don't have a direct practical solution to this conflict, there's always practical steps that you can take to help facilitate the perceptual resolution. You know, Marcy didn't get to this resolution by, you know, sitting around meditating all day. You know, she took an action that was not easy to do.
- [58:02]
A
Yeah.
- [58:03]
C
Yeah. I think like you said, there's always where there's a will, there's a way. I, you know, I had even contemplated, like, who could I role play this with and act like I was reading it to him or, you know, to get some kind of, you know, feedback or something like that. Like, you never. The perceptual part is actually, it's, it's almost as helpful as the physical part. You'd be surprised at how helpful perceptual resolution is. It was very helpful for me, but I just knew I had a little bit more. So sifting through it all and just, just charging forward.
- [58:40]
B
And also just her approach to this, to learning G M, to working with me, the whole process. She was very curious and really wanted to get to the bottom of it, but not out of a, I need to make this go away asap. Oh, my God. I have a. I have a lump in my breast. I have this tumor, whatever, you know, this scary hotspot. I need you to help me make it go away. Right. That was not how she came into this. And, and I'm sure we all know that that is, you know, not people that do come into it, like, I need you to fix me right away, or I need to get rid of this asap. Or, ah, this could be a scary C word. Right. Like when you're going into it like that, that's not going to have probably a great outcome. Right. So, again, it's the way that you approach it. Curiosity, open mindedness. Let's play around with it. You know, let's, you know, isn't this cool? Right. And that was definitely how Marcy entered into this.
- [59:47]
A
Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being on our podcast, Marcy. It was great to have you hear more of your story. Thank you to everyone for listening and we'll see you next time.
- [60:00]
C
You
- [60:04]
B
we hope you enjoyed today's conversation. We appreciate you being here.
- [60:09]
A
If you would like some additional support in navigating your health symptoms, we both provide coaching services from a German new medicine perspective.
- [60:18]
B
Our Instagram handles and personal websites are linked in the podcast description.