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- [00:01]
Thomas
Get Sleepy is a production of Slumber Studios and is made possible thanks to the generous support of our sponsors and Premium members. If you'd like to listen ad free and access weekly bonus episodes, extra long stories and our entire back catalogue, you can try out Premium free for seven days by following the link in the episode notes. Now a quick word from our sponsors.
- [00:32]
WhatsApp Sponsor
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- [01:00]
State Farm Sponsor
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- [01:29]
Thomas
Welcome to Get Sleepy where we listen, we relax, and we get sleepy. My name's Thomas and I'm your host. Thanks for joining us for another wonderful episode from our much loved Auggie the Cat series. As always with our orgie stories. It was written by Alicia Staffan and will be read by Simon. Those of you who've listened to past stories about Augie will know she is a very intelligent and self confident kind of cat. She lives in harmony with her four humans and somewhat grudgingly accepts their newer feline addition to the family whose name is Meatball. In the past, we've followed along with Augie's adventures as she patrols the house at night, supervises a snow day, and even helps with spring cleaning. This time we'll be part of a cosy autumn day following Orgie as she monitors the family leaf cleanup in the garden. As always, you can count on her to make sure that activities are completed efficiently. If you're yet to hear Augie's previous stories, don't worry, you can listen to this episode all on its own, and you can always go back and hear the earlier tales another time before we join our feline friends and their humans. Make sure you're properly relaxed. The cat mentality is very appropriate here, so let all those human concerns drift away for the night. You might like to take some slow, deep breaths to settle yourself further and relax the nervous system. An important part of building good habits with sleep and hopefully therefore enjoying regular good rest, is to create a consistent and effective wind down routine before bed. That might include things like reading a book, taking a warm bath or shower, watching some gentle tv, or listening to a favourite podcast or some soothing music, maybe even doing some of the less stimulating household chores an hour or so before bed. This routine is likely to vary from person to person, but it means a lot that you've chosen to make get sleepy a part of yours, certainly tonight anyway, and perhaps on most nights. This show is designed to be the final step in your wind down routine, the ticket to a good night's sleep. And building a sense of familiarity with hearing my voice and those of your favourite narrators will gradually become a more effective trigger to your brain. When you hear and therefore register in your mind that it's time to listen, relax and get sleepy, I hope you feel that sense of reassurance and calm, even relief perhaps, that the day is done and this is your time to rest. So as I invite you to listen along for as much time as you wish, knowing you can drift off to sleep whenever you like, I'll hand over to Simon for our latest adventure with Augie. In your mind's eye, picture a colorful autumn day with bright blue skies and fresh breezes. This is where our story begins.
- [07:04]
Simon
It had been some time since the coffee pot downstairs had stopped its boisterous gurgling. Even if Augie hadn't had a perfectly accurate sense of time, the coffee pot would have given the hour away. Each morning it sprang to life unprompted at precisely the same moment. In the summer, it would be light outside. When that happened in the winter it was still dark. But the coffee pot had garnered Augie's grudging admiration because it did not depend upon such simple cues. When it was time to get up, it was time to get up. The coffee pot did not accept seasonal excuses. On most days, the humans were fairly reliable, fetching the finished coffee at the appointed time. However, every few days they stopped getting up on time and lolled about in bed for far too long, leaving their hot coffee to languish in the tall silver pot in the machine. On these mornings, Auggie felt miffed on behalf of the sturdy appliance. It seemed a bit rude, really, to ask the pot to make a brew but not fetch it on time. Worse yet, her breakfast was late on these days as well, and that was the true offence she thought to herself. She would attempt to move things along. Stealthily ascending the carpeted stairs, she pushed her way through the partially open door to the room that belonged to the big humans. It was neither summer nor winter, and due to the lateness of the hour, the sun was now streaming into the room with a gentle golden glow. The sash on one of the windows was cracked just a little bit open. It was not far enough for her to fit herself into the windowsill, she thought with regret. However, she stood on her sturdy legs and rested her paws there. Outside, the air was cold and crisp. Closing her eyes, she inhaled eagerly, her whiskers twitching. Her senses were flooded with contrasting scents. On the one hand, the air felt so fresh. The plant smells of summer were gone, leaving a clean void in the air. But in their place, she picked up on something else. A dry earthiness. She knew there would be more of that scent if she got out into the garden. Perhaps she would have her chance later. Tired of balancing on her short back legs, she sat down and turned to face the bed, where the humans were still lying motionless. It wasn't just the humans who were oblivious to the late breakfast time. The furry orange menace known as Meatball was out cold on the bed as well. Once a cream puff of a kitten, he was growing fast. Where tufts of orange fur and tiny paws had once been, there were now lanky legs and tall ears. And Meatball was showing a shocking level of entitlement now, even in his sleep. He lay stretched to his full length, which even Auggie had to admit was becoming quite impressive. But worse, he was lying sideways, taking up so much of the middle of the bed that both the man and the lady looked ready to roll off their respective edges. Auggie simmered with quiet annoyance. Not only was he betraying her by sleeping through the breakfast hour, but he was getting away with an enormous show of impertinence. He really had so little proper cattitude, she reflected. Fortunately for Auggie, she didn't have to resort to any undignified behavior in order to finally wake the humans. Moments later, one of the small people entered the room, Hare standing on end, and poked the man in the shoulder, loudly whispering and waving a handheld device at him. The man seemed to ignore this for a moment, but the smaller person became quite insistent, distant now, waking Meatball, who rolled over and stretched himself even longer than Auggie had thought possible. The man muttered something to the boy in a sleepy voice, and the little person went away, instantly awake. Meatball bounded off the bed, following in his wake Auggie knew the younger cat was hoping to be fed, but she observed smugly that the little person wasn't one of the feeders and that Meatball was, as ever, completely clueless. Instead, Borgie stayed behind to complete the work that really needed to be done. She walked around to the side of the bed where the man now lay with his eyes closed again, willing sleep to return. But she was sure it was over for him. And when he opened those eyes again, she'd be right next to him, issuing her hardest, most judgmental stare. And so it was. Events unfolded exactly as she predicted. Of course, the man opened his eyes and looked at her. They locked gazes. And then he groaned, sat up and pulled on his robe as he walked down the stairs. She followed at a leisurely distance. Auggie knew he would first pour the coffee and then fill her bowl. She would arrive composed and ready to enjoy her breakfast. It took Meatball a few minutes to notice that the small human was a foolish diversion. By the time the gangly cat had arrived at his bowl, Auggie had safely consumed most of her breakfast. She had learned to leave nothing behind because he was sure to take hers after his own portion was gone. Triumphant, she sashayed out into the living room. She would make her usual visit to the blowing heat vent and then to the armchair, where she could observe the morning business of the street. Of course, there were always the silly dogs to see, but this was a particularly good time of year for her to feel superior because some of them came outside wearing the most ridiculous, ridiculous little jackets. Dogs were too oblivious to realise how undignified they looked, and they gamboled about with their usual embarrassing exuberance. Wookie's eyes fell half shut as she almost bored herself to sleep thinking about she was peacefully dozing when some human activity caused her to resurface to wakefulness. There was a flurry of running about and donning of fuzzy sweaters. The small humans had reached a familiar level of excitement, during which Borgie generally found it wise to stay out of sight. The man and the little ones then trooped down the stairs as the lady human called out commands to them. Then she shook her head and carried a steaming cup of coffee back upstairs. In the distance, up above, the television was turned on. Then Augie heard the distinctive noise of the sliding glass door in the walkout basement, accompanied by a clattering sound and some paper bags crackling. This made her creep in slow motion out of her hiding place, place under the coffee table. This entire scene was most irregular. She wasn't sure what was happening downstairs, but she had misgivings. Meatball, of course, was not wise enough to be concerned about this break routine. He went tumbling down the stairs like a foolish lummox. Whatever was happening, he was eager to be part of it. Auggie sat near the stairs, conflicted. On the one hand, it was her job to know everything about everything in the house. On the other hand, this suspicious activity could create unpleasantness for her. Should she sally forth boldly or hide? The sliding glass door thumped shut. When it did, the loud noises from inside became distant, fragmented noises that drifted in the main floor window, which was also cracked open just a bit. This mysterious turn of events was too much for her to tolerate, so she made her way down the stairs and crossed the walkout basement to see what was going on there. She sat, trapped inside behind the glass door, while the three humans, one big and two small, cavorted in the yard. Worst of all, Meatball was out there with them, and she was not. Auggie was aware that there were two types of cats in the world, indoor cats and outdoor cats. She prided herself on having the genius to enjoy the best of both worlds. She was mostly an indoor cat, enjoying comforts such as heat vents, cozy furniture, and a bird's eye view of bad weather outside. But she was also allowed to go into a couple of safe spaces outside the house. Those two spaces were the deck on the main floor and the small yard below, which was surrounded by a very high wooden fence. Auggie liked this yard because she could enjoy nature there without having to look out for dogs or other annoying invaders. Today it appeared that the people were engaged in tidying up the yard. As Augie glared through the glass, feeling forgotten, she saw that they were finally gathering all the yellow and brown leaves that had fallen off the maple tree. In recent weeks, Augie had watched these harbingers of winter flutter down on a daily basis, soaring gaily on their way to the ground. But they did pile up, and when they were lying down there, they obscured her view of the lawn and its busy little creatures. Rabbits and squirrels got away with their activities unobserved, which was, frankly unacceptable. The people were overdue to rectify this problem. The man was now using a long pole to push those leaves into a great pile. The older of the little ones was likewise struggling with a similar sized pole. She wasn't making much progress, though, and her cheeks were getting red. The littlest human was really more of a detriment to the process. He kept picking up piles of leaves between his two hands and walking across the yard, scattering them in new places. While this was going on, meat Paul's lizard brain was in overdrive. He was following the smaller child around the lawn, pouncing on leaves that he had dropped. Then, with a total lack of concentration, he would periodically walk to the perimeter of the fence, sniffing things that were invisible. This was his first time experiencing the sights and sounds of the autumn season, and he was, she thought disapprovingly, quite overwrought. Although she loathed doing it, Auggie was left with no other option. She had to attract the attention of of the humans if she wanted to get outside and manage this inefficient process. Shrinking inwardly, she stood up on her hind legs and pressed her immense furry belly and her front paws against the door, letting out a subtle mew. Nobody noticed. She sat down again for a few seconds and then repeated the posture, but this time she went all out, paddling her paws against the door. She meowed more loudly this time the older child noticed. She dropped her stick and pointed at the door, chattering and laughing, further insulting Augie's dignity. The man laughed as well, but he did come to the door and open it. Gathering herself, Auggie haughtily squeezed through the opening, thinking to herself the man could have made it just a little wider. Alas, the people did not seem to be very intelligent at times, but even Auggie had a little trouble maintaining her aloofness, and she felt the crisp autumn air fill her lungs. It was a gloriously sunny day. The sky above was a bright, beautiful blue, with barely a cloud in sight. The paving stones of the patio were quite cold under her paws. She lifted one foot after the other and delicately placed her nose close to the ground. Hopping up on the comparatively warmer wooden border of a nearby garden box, she neatly tucked her paws under her big furry body and wrapped her tail neatly around them. The humans had now raked most of the fallen leaves into one enormous pile, but smaller mountains still lurked around the edge of the yard near the fence. Meatball had become fixated on the perimeter of the yard, which he was now investigating like a bloodhound poking his nose into one area after the other. He was finding the tiny gaps under the fence and then madly poking his paws through them. This created a rustling and crunching of leaves, which excited him even more. Soon his tail was as fluffy as a duster, and he was madly jumping in circles as if pursuing an invisible flow foe. Orgie turned away from the sight, mildly embarrassed for him. She squinted up into the gentle autumn sun, which seemed to be more full of color than warmth. As she did, a single brave leaf finally let go of the branch it had been clinging to. It sailed in wide swoops, down, down, down, crossing in front of the orb of the sun in her vision. And then it finally came to rest with the others in the big le. Meatball was distracted from his solo antics when the smaller child went plunging into the big leaf pile. His sister cried out joyfully and within seconds had thrown down her pole and jumped in next to him. The glass door slid open and the lady human came out. Dressed in a sweater. She spoke to the children in a tone that seemed both gentle and scolding. Augie knew these tones because they would speak the gentle one to her when everyone was cuddling on the couch.
- [29:46]
Thomas
But.
- [29:46]
Simon
If she stole from food from the counter, the scalding tone would always come out. Humans had a few predictable operational modes, and she knew them all. The big humans exchanged some words, and then the lady took over the moving of the leaves and the man went inside. The little ones dragged themselves out of the pile and began reassembling it with their hands. Meanwhile, the lady opened two of the paper bags and began pushing leaves inside, one while the other tipped over nearby. Augie knew immediately what she needed to do. Moving smoothly around the edge of the planter, she hopped down into the yard and trotted to the opening of the empty bag. It smelled so clean and papery inside. As she prepared to squeeze herself in there, she rubbed the side of her face on its sturdy edges. She would leave her mark on this bag before Meatball could lay claim to it. Having moved entirely inside, she turned around with some awkwardness and settled into a crouching loaf position. The small humans uttered cries of delight and the moon face of the older child appeared in the opening, blocking the light. Auggie stared at the girl, unblinking as the face in the bag opening chattered nonsense. Then the little child appeared too, squeezing out half of his sister's face, and they both made cooing noises. Thankfully, they soon got bored with this game and went away to push leaves around once more. The sliding glass door opened again and the man's voice could be heard announcing something. The little ones exclaimed with happiness and the rustling of the leaves stopped. Auggie was plagued with the need to understand what was going on, so she peered out of the bag. She saw that the people were standing around some of the garden furniture with steaming cups. Auggie recognised the scent of the drinks on the breeze. It was the same smell that came from their mugs at night, when they sat in front of the fire, or while they were playing with their pieces on the big flat board while the humans were drinking from their cups, a movement caught her eye. Up atop the fence, she spotted a squirrel. It ran along one side of the yard with a hippity hop and then froze. It could have been a statue, except for a single tail twitch every few seconds. Porgy was motionless. She knew in her heart that she couldn't reach the top of the fence. She feared that the squirrel knew that, too. But she couldn't show any weakness. Too often these squirrels trespassed up on the deck while she was trapped inside the house. They flaunted their advantage, openly digging in the flower boxes and generally having the run of the place. But this time Auggie was outside, too. The cheekiness would not stand. As if hearing her thoughts, the squirrel turned ever so slightly and appeared to stare Augie right in the eye. Then, in an intolerable show of defiance, it nibbled lightly on an acorn it was carrying in its mouth. Just then, Meatball came out of nowhere, gripping the fence post and climbing energetically toward the top. The squirrel broke out of its pose and hopped into the tree, zipping effortlessly to the top and chattering the entire way. Meatball realized at that moment that he was not going to make it all the way up, and he descended with an ungainly tumble. But the rodent had lost the game, and that was all that mattered. Porgy feigned indifference, but she was secretly smug. Perhaps Meatball could be useful as part of the feline team, she admitted to herself. Having banished the squirrel, Meatball went crashing through the leaf pile and hopped up on the table where the family were finishing their drinks. A chorus of scolding went up. They said, no, Meatball and Meatball, get down. And the smallest child began a fit of loud giggling as Meatball sniffed at his cup. This party crashing seemed to come at a good time. The man took the cups inside, and the children ran after him. They had clearly lost interest in the autumnal labour in the backyard. The lady shook her head and resumed piling leaves into bags. Accordingly, Auggie was soon evicted from her hideaway inside the paper sack. The lady gently tipped the the bag until Auggie slid onto the browning grass of the lawn, feeling somewhat miffed. But Augie's mood soon lifted as a fresh autumn breeze once again brightened her senses. Meatball had resumed his examinations of the fence perimeter, but most of the leaves had been cleaned up, and he found little of interest in the nooks and crannies of the small backyard. The man returned, sliding the door gently open, and together the big humans lugged the two bags of leaves around to the front of the house. Auggie knew from experience that a big truck would come at the appointed time tomorrow and growl loudly as it swallowed the paper totes. She would be watching from her armchair to make sure it was done properly, setting an example for her young friend. Augie sauntered by back into the house, squeezing and pushing just a little to fit through the gap in the door. Meatball noticed quickly that he was alone in the yard. Since he obviously had no capacity to entertain himself like a normal cat, he launched himself easily through the same gap, landing in the comparatively warm room inside. All this fresh air had made Auggie very tired. She slowly ascended the stairs as Meatball bounded past her. She was in no hurry. He would learn soon enough that a cat's day was not meant to be a race against time. In fact, she reflected with pleasure, she was looking forward to a long nap in her cat bed. She felt optimistic that there would be a sunbeam on it right about now. And there it was, precisely as she had imagined, all pillowy, soft, and warm looking. Just then, a light humming sound indicated to her that the heat had started coming out of the vents. The small humans were ensconced on the couch in the family room. She could hear the chattering of the box on the wall, showing them their usual entertainment downstairs. Distantly, she could hear the big humans closing up the doors and removing their shoes. It was time for everyone to rest. Augie prodded her bed experimentally with her paws and then stepped into it. She turned two or three times before dropping heavily right in the center. In the next room, she could hear Meatball lapping at the water fountain. He had worked up a mighty thirst, apparently. A light wind rattled the window pane. In the narrow view afforded by her half closed eyes, Borgie saw cheerful dust motes dancing in the sunbeam that illuminated the carpet around her. But then, just as she was drifting off, Meatball silently appeared, sniffing at her bed. She refused to acknowledge him. This was her bed, and there was no room for a growing cat like Meatball. He would have to find somewhere else. But Meatball, as ever, wanted to cuddle. Unable to find a way into the bed, he laid himself down in the sunbeam and rested his chin on the edge of of the pillowy, soft cushion, gazing adoringly at Auggie. Then, tentatively, he laid his paw across her belly and closed his eyes. Augie pretended to ignore him, but she decided this napping arrangement was satisfactory. As her eyelids drooped, the sunbeam vanished from her sight. Instead, she saw a thousand falling leaves. Yellow, brown, orange. They sailed through the air gently in a strange dance. And they descended with her as she sank happily into a deep sleep.
- [49:02]
Thomas
Sa.