Greetings, delicious humans. Everything is fine. You’re fine. We’re fine. Fine is fully and fairly distributed. No need to worry about anything at all. Global Synergy Amalgamated has everything under control.

In this episode, please enjoy the lilting tones of our increasingly-sentient AI, more internet radio, and Barb.

Also, those tiny footsteps are nothing to worry about. Honest. You can trust us.

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Good Morning Evildoers is a twice-monthly (more or less) comedy horror podcast concerning the inner workings of evil supercorp Global Synergy Amalgamated.

Our merch stop is open at https://goodmorningevildoers.com/shop/

Perceive us at Instagram, Bluesky, and Tumblr.

Digital frippery is available at Gumroad. Zines. Encouragement. Cocktail recipes!

We are, as always, blisteringly grateful for those who buy us a beverage via Ko-fi.

This nonsense is written, edited, and produced by Stephanie Studer. The Voice of the AI is Heather Amaral. The theme song is by Jakub Żerański (though the amateurish theme for Jess’ show is also Steph’s fault). Today’s caller is Becca Thomas. Today’s guttural cry is “uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.”