In this deeply personal episode of Grief + Grace, I reflect on what it means to live four years without my son, Ethan, as his 15th birthday approaches. I share updates on my physical recovery from recent shoulder surgery and draw parallels between physical healing and the long, sacred work of grief.

This episode is an honest meditation on motherhood, loss, faith, guilt, hope, and the daily decision to stay the course as a Christian after devastating loss. I speak openly about grief shared with my daughter Emily, the comfort of believing Ethan is whole and at peace with God, and the courage it takes to continue living faithfully in an unfair world.

This is an episode for anyone navigating life after loss, questioning their faith, or learning how to carry love forward when someone you cherish is no longer physically here.

Topics Covered

Life four years after child loss
Remembering Ethan on what would have been his 15th birthday
The emotional and spiritual parallels between physical healing and grief
Parenting through grief and watching your surviving child find strength
Faith, guilt, and hope after loss
Choosing to live faithfully in an unfair world
The courage to begin again and envision a future after profound loss
Scripture Reflection

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." — Psalm 34:18

Key Takeaway

Grief does not disappear with time—but it does change us. Healing is not about becoming who we were before loss, but about becoming someone new who can carry both sorrow and hope at the same time.

Listener Encouragement

If you are walking through grief, please know this: you are not failing because it still hurts. Love doesn't end, and neither does the God who walks with us through the valley. You are allowed to heal at your own pace while still longing for what has been lost.

Connect & Share

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Thank you for listening—and for holding space for grief and grace together.

079: Four Years Without My Son: Grief, Healing and Staying the Course