In this Mindfulness in Action episode, I’m talking about one of the sneakiest forms of distorted thinking: shoulds.

You know the ones: I should be doing more. I should have this figured out by now. I should be more disciplined, more patient, more productive. These thoughts can sound helpful on the surface, but often they leave us feeling ashamed, guilty, disconnected, and never quite enough.

In this episode, I break down three common types of “shoulds”:

the outward-facing shoulds tied to habits and expectations,
the shoulds that come from a lack of self-acceptance,
and the shoulds rooted in unrealistic standards for ourselves or other people.

I also share practical mindfulness tools you can use in real time to work with these thoughts instead of getting hooked by them. We explore practices like labeling, cognitive diffusion, acceptance, self-compassion, psychological distancing, and grounding in the present moment.

This is not about getting rid of every self-critical thought forever. It’s about learning how to notice them, soften their grip, and come back to what’s actually here.

If you’ve been feeling pressured by your own inner voice lately, this episode is a reminder that you are not alone. There are skillful, compassionate ways to meet yourself in those moments.

Other meditations:

- Slowing Down the Rush
- How to Regulate Your Emotions for Resilience and Performance
- How to Combat Self-Criticism

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.