Most people think sex therapy means Masters and Johnson-style homework or uncomfortable demonstrations. Dr. Shannon Chavez explains what it actually is—and why sexual concerns are rarely about sex at all. They're about intimacy, attachment, and learning to feel safe in your own body.

Dr. Chavez has spent her career helping individuals and couples navigate sexual shame, intimacy disorders, and compulsive behaviors through a trauma informed, non-pathologizing framework.

We discuss how shame is learned, not inherent, and why the opposite of shame is acceptance. We talk about how she approaches vaginismus and pelvic pain patients in therapy, why pain can live in the body even after the physical issue is resolved, and how mental rehearsal and visualization help people reclaim pleasure.

We also discuss compulsive sexual behaviors not as addiction in the traditional sense, but as intimacy disorders rooted in early trauma and attachment.

Dr. Chavez explains why the sex negative addiction model has done more harm than good, how porn is designed to overconsume just like doom scrolling, and why education around healthy sexuality is more effective than abstinence only approaches. We cover pleasure literacy, the difference between healthy desire and compulsive use, and why sex should feel like play, not another item on your to-do list.

Highlights

The body keeps score even after physical pain is resolved, which is why sex therapy is essential for sexual dysfunction issues.
Compulsive sexual behaviors are often rooted in early trauma, attachment issues, and lack of self-soothing skills rather than traditional addiction.
The sex-negative addiction model has created more stigma and hasn't been effective healing intimacy disorders is more successful.
Pleasure literacy means understanding what pleasure means to you personally, not fitting into a prescribed definition.
AI companions and technology are creating more isolation, which amplifies sexual and intimacy issues.

If you've been struggling with sexual shame, pain, or compulsive behaviors, know that you're not broken. These are things many people navigate at different points in our lives, and reaching out for help doesn't mean years of therapy sometimes it's just getting permission or validation from someone who understands.

Get in Touch with Dr. Chavez:

Get in Touch with Me: