Lux Radio Theatre - June Bride

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Lux Radio Theatre – June Bride
Air Date: July 21, 2026
Original Broadcast: Adaptation of the 1948 film “June Bride”
Featured Performers: Irene Dunne (Linda Gilman), Fred MacMurray (Carrie Jackson)

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Overview

This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio takes listeners back to the Golden Age of Radio with a full radio adaptation of “June Bride” from the Lux Radio Theatre. The romantic comedy explores workplace dynamics, love, ambition, and small-town America, centering on a high-powered magazine editor and her witty ex-boyfriend-turned-reporting-associate as they attempt to cover a “typical” June wedding for a lifestyle magazine—where, of course, nothing goes as planned.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Setting the Stage: The Magazine World (00:42–08:23)

• The story opens in the bustling office of “Home Life” magazine, run by tenacious editor Linda Gilman.
• Carrie Jackson, a world-weary, recently rehired foreign correspondent, is assigned to work under Linda—a reunion both comedic and fraught due to their unresolved romantic past.
• Linda is wary of Carrie, citing his penchant for the dramatic and skepticism about his fit for “quiet American stories.”
• Notable banter: A classic battle of wit and unresolved tension sets the comedic and romantic tone.

Linda: “Be as tactful as possible, Carrie. I don't want you around grudge nursing. Nothing personal. You're a fine fellow, but I won't have you on the magazine.” (02:02)

2. The Assignment: Creating the June Bride Feature (07:00–12:00)

• The magazine is producing a feature on the Brinker family and their daughter's upcoming wedding in Crestville, Indiana.
• The staff is tasked with transforming the Brinkers’ home, modernizing the family, and packaging their story for a glamorous photo spread.
• Linda insists on sincerity, forbidding Carrie from manufacturing drama or poking fun at the small-town family.

Linda: “You're going to write a straight young love story. No twists, no angles, and no drama.” (09:54)

3. Arriving in Crestville: Small Town Satire & Realities (11:14–15:26)

• Carrie and Linda travel to Indiana, enduring cold weather and local idiosyncrasies.
• The Brinkers are introduced, along with Boo, the younger daughter, and Jean, the beautiful bride-to-be.
• Carrie’s outsider status and city-boy charm collide humorously with Midwestern customs, especially in scenes involving hard cider and the “purple horror” of the Brinker living room.

Carrie: “I've bitten into many an apple, Mr. Brinker, but this is the first time I've ever had one bite back at me!” (19:14)

4. Complications: Love Triangles Unveiled (15:26–29:39)

• Boo, quietly in love with her sister’s fiancé, confides in Carrie, revealing more complicated romantic entanglements—Jean was previously engaged to Bud’s brother, Jim, now in the military.
• Boo and Carrie conspire to bring Jim home for the wedding by using his army connections (17:28).
• This results in a classic mix-up: Jim’s return sparks emotional chaos, leading to the collapse of the original wedding plans.

Boo, on her uncle: “Oh, no. He's a Democrat.” (15:54)

Carrie: “So Jean took up with Bud, leaving Jim out in the cold, and you too. And the wedding is only a few days off, and you'll all live unhappily ever after. Boy, what an angle.” (16:48)

5. Major Turning Point: The Runaway Bride (29:39–33:06)

• Jim’s return uncovers unresolved feelings with Jean, and the two elope, leaving the magazine team without a story.
• Linda erupts at Carrie, blaming him for the fiasco, resulting in him getting fired and both of them confronting their feelings and frustrations with each other:

Carrie: “Your usual reaction to a crisis… just walk away, let somebody else clean up the mess you’ve made.” (33:06)

6. Romantic and Professional Resolutions (35:06–44:35)

• In the aftermath, Carrie befriends Boo, realizing she genuinely loves Bud and hatching a plan to help her win his heart by making Bud jealous (36:07).
• Boo’s transformation (both emotional and via a wedding dress) leads Bud to finally see her in a new light, culminating in a last-minute switch: Boo and Bud become the new bride and groom.
• The wedding is salvaged and the magazine feature is back on track, with Linda “unfiring” Carrie so he can write the real story—about discovering unexpected love at the heart of “ordinary” America.

7. Closing & Reconciliation (44:35–47:25)

• Back in the magazine office, Linda resigns after ensuring the June issue is finished, indicating she’s ready for a new chapter, possibly with Carrie.
• Their romantic dance resumes; both are finally willing to try combining their lives, each acknowledging the other’s professional and personal strengths.
• The play ends with playful dialogue about future assignments and a possible journey together—figuratively and literally.

Carrie: “You know very well we're perfectly mated. After all, we're of opposite sexes.” (46:44)
Linda: “From now on, it's lavender and old lace for Linda Gilman.” (44:56)

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Memorable Quotes

• “You’re smooth and charming. You turn it on like hot water from a faucet. But I had measles once and now I'm immune.” — Linda (05:30)
• “The only way I'll get a story is to have typical Mr. Brinker beat typical Mrs. Brinker to death with a typical meat ax.” — Carrie (09:39)
• “Oh, no. He's a Democrat.” — Boo, on her uncle (15:54)
• “We have what I believe is referred to as a problem, don't we?” — Carrie (25:19)
• “It's an undignified. By all means, keep your dignity, Madam Editor. Personally, on these cold, wintry nights, I like a nice warm back to put my feet on.” — Carrie (43:02)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:42 – Carrie returns to the magazine and regroups with Linda
• 07:00 – Assignment of the “June Bride” story and staff instructions
• 13:23 – Meeting the Brinker family and small-town introductions
• 17:28 – Boo and Carrie plot to bring Jim home, setting off the plot twist
• 27:33 – Jim’s dramatic arrival; the romantic tangle escalates
• 32:07 – Carrie returns with news of the missing bride; fallout with Linda
• 36:43 – “Make Bud jealous” plan, Boo’s transformation
• 41:08 – Boo and Bud’s wedding preparations; magazine feature salvaged
• 44:35 – Linda resigns, finale at magazine office, romantic closure

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Tone & Performance

The episode is classic radio comedy—fast-paced, witty banter, heartfelt moments, and broad humor mixed with a genuine affection for small-town American life. Irene Dunne and Fred MacMurray, reprising their famous film roles, have sparkling, chemistry-filled exchanges that make even the familiar romantic-comedy beats feel fresh and timeless.

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Conclusion

This episode delivers vintage radio romance and classic comedic misunderstandings, wrapped in sharp dialogue and social satire about gender roles, journalism, and love. Even 75 years after it aired, “June Bride” offers charm and insight, reminding listeners of a time when stories were shared by the whole family around the radio—tales of complications, devotion, laughter, and ultimately, the triumph of love.

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Transcript

[A]

Now, at McDonald's, get a $5 McChicken meal deal or a $6 McDouble meal deal. They come with small fries, a soft drink and four piece McNuggets. We're gonna need a bigger tray. Get more value with your meal deal with McValue. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher for delivery. In the elaborate office building of the Allied Magazine Syndicate, three entire floors are devoted to the high Home Life magazine. At the head of this minor empire is Home Life sufficient. Editor, Ms. Linda Gilbert. May I come in, Madam Editor?

[B]

Carrie. It's you. You're back. Hello.

[A]

And a great big enthusiastic hello to you too. How have you been, Linda?

[B]

Reasonably well, considering I haven't had you around for the past three years.

[A]

But not long, huh?

[B]

Last time I saw you, we had lunch at Marcel's. August 12, 1950. We were supposed to dine at Caesars, only you went to Berlin instead.

[A]

I might have known you'd remember.

[B]

By the way, our date is off, isn't it? When I didn't hear from you for three years, I leaped to that conclusion. You heel.

[A]

Oh, now, don't be like that.

[B]

You're right. You're really not a heel. You just give that impression. What do you want?

[A]

Can I just stop in and say hello without being suspected?

[B]

You're being charming, reasonable and very boyish. Unless you've changed. That means you're about to drink somebody's blood. Probably mine.

[A]

I. I've just been up to see the boss. He fired me.

[B]

Oh, really? And here I was thinking he couldn't read.

[A]

You're sweet. Anyway, he hired me back again.

[B]

He can't read you.

[A]

Do you know who my new editor is?

[B]

No, who?

[A]

You.

[B]

Oh, no, no. He wouldn't do that to me.

[A]

He's already done it.

[B]

No.

[A]

I'm assigned to the Home Life in America series.

[B]

Over, my dear.

[A]

It isn't very flattering. After all, I'm still pretty handy with a typewriter. I'm gay, lovable. Nice teeth. What more do you want?

[B]

Be as tactful as possible, Carrie. I don't want you around Grudge nursing. Nothing personal. You're a fine fellow, but I won't have you on the magazine.

[A]

But why not?

[B]

You're a foreign correspondent. You're used to exciting, important stories. The most exciting thing that happens to the people we write about is a $5 raise for PA. You'd be utterly bored. You'd start making fun of them and it just wouldn't work out.

[A]

Well, at least, couldn't we talk about it? After all, I. Hey, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Where you going?

[B]

I'm going to dinner.

[A]

Got a date?

[B]

No.

[A]

Well, then have dinner with me, huh? The one we missed three years ago.

[B]

I'm glad I didn't wait.

[A]

We can have dinner at Caesars. They don't know my credit's no good there.

[B]

Caesar's has gotten frightfully expensive.

[A]

Well, Sherwin's, then. Only be about five bucks for the two of us. You can afford that much, can't you?

[B]

Now, look, Carrie, what are you so suspicious of?

[A]

How we'll have dinner and then I'll take you home.

[B]

Yes. Early too. I have a very busy day tomorrow. I'm going to Indiana.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Indiana. My first assignment, huh?

[B]

You? Indiana. Oh, don't be ridiculous. I had a lovely time, Carrie. Lovely, lovely. Was lovely.

[A]

Lovely. Now let me come in, huh?

[B]

I'm so sorry. You see, I have to get up early in the morning. Good night.

[A]

Good night. I can only stay a minute.

[B]

Yes. All right.

[A]

I like this, Linda. This is nice. Here we are picking up things just where we left off, you know.

[B]

Now we are not picking anything up. Not one single. Bygone is going to be a bygone as far as I'm concerned. Stop turning the lights out.

[A]

Look, if you still saw about me walking out on us three years ago, I can explain that.

[B]

I'm definitely not interested. Much.

[A]

You were pretty ambitious in those days, Linda.

[B]

I still am.

[A]

Knew exactly what you wanted, where you were going, how to get there.

[B]

I sound like a subway. Stop creeping up on me.

[A]

No. Well, anyway, that day I left you, after we had lunch together, well, I started looking in store windows. Suddenly I had a terrible realization that

[B]

you'd forgotten to borrow taxi fare from me.

[A]

No, no, no. I found myself looking at furniture. Household furniture. Bedroom suites. $2 down, 1,567 weeks to pay. For the first time in my life, I wanted to get married. It bowled me over. I just stood there paralyzed.

[B]

Then what?

[A]

I hopped the first plane to Germany. I just couldn't live the way you do, Linda. Tied down everything, all planned out. You know, even when I was making love to you, I had the feeling that you were wondering what time it was.

[B]

Well, that's not the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.

[A]

Yes, I suppose you were terribly angry.

[B]

Oh, I got over it.

[A]

Oh, you did? Completely.

[B]

Carrie, there's one thing that obviously never occurred to you. I don't think I would have married you.

[A]

Linda, I'm amazed you came back expecting

[B]

to find a broken butterfly quivering in the void of your absence, didn't you?

[A]

Yes. Yes, Linda, I did. You're right. This isn't at all what I expected. But, you know, it's nicer this way. Kind of like old times. Just the two of us sitting here talking. We always did talk a lot.

[B]

We talked away everything that ever meant anything to us.

[A]

No, no, not everything, Linda. Not every. Ow.

[B]

Now stop it. You're smooth and charming. You turn it on like hot water from a faucet. But I had measles once and now I'm immune. I always know what time it is. Now, Carrie. 11:20. I have to get up early.

[A]

Well, Carrie, you dear gullible boy, you just struck out. Oh, Linda, look, we know each other too well for all this. We still go for each other and you know it.

[B]

I only know that you're very casual about these things and I'm not. I'd wake up one morning and find myself in Afghanistan.

[A]

Linda. All right. I'll go. Quietly and sadly into the night went fun loving Carrie Jackson the schmol of the week. Oh, I almost forgot. The job on the magazine. Do I get it?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Goody, goody.

[B]

On certain conditions. I'm editor. I'm running Home Life magazine. And that means that you'll have to take orders from me.

[A]

A pleasure, boss.

[B]

You will have to forget I'm a woman.

[A]

I will try. Linda Gilman is not a woman. Linda Gilman is not a woman. Oh, here, have a cigar.

[B]

Thanks. I'll smoke it after breakfast. I'll see you in the office, Carrie. This is it. Inside, everyone. Morning, Le.

[A]

Good morning.

[B]

Good morning. Everyone grab chairs and let's get going. Oh, good morning, Carrie.

[A]

Good morning, sir.

[B]

Met everyone?

[A]

Oh, yes, yes. They all wanted to know how I got mixed up in a business like this.

[B]

What did you tell them?

[A]

Just lucky, I guess.

[B]

Oh, how nice. Now you know. Our story concerns the Brinker family in Crestville, Indiana. Two young girls, usual number of parents.

[A]

What's the old man do? Linda?

[B]

Mr. Brinker owns a hardware store. The house, incidentally, is. Is a museum piece. And so is Mrs. Brinker. Paula. You will have to put her on a strict diet. Don't I always?

[A]

Just to satisfy my curiosity, how did Home Life magazine happen to pick this particular couple?

[B]

Well, the daughter is being married anyway, and she happens to fit into our schedule. Her name is Jean. She understands we have a deadline. And while it is the middle of winter, she knows we're working on our June issue right now. So she's willing to get married right away. For us. Now, Paula, you see that their clothes are brought up to date. Use light summary materials. And Rosemary, you make out the usual household budget and weekly menu. And keep them simple. And Scotty, the usual picture.

[A]

What about me?

[B]

This will be a 19 page feature, Carrie, about 5,000 words. Now we'll call the feature June Bride.

[A]

June Bride. Isn't that a little daring?

[B]

Just remember, this is a typical small town family. And they'll have to live with the house and the clothes and the neighbors after we've gone. I've had the local carpenter and the painter and the upholsterer working in the house for the past two weeks. Mrs. Brinker expects us tomorrow. She's going to bake the cake. Oh, no. Remember, it's winter and we have to do a June wedding in less than a week. Any questions?

[A]

Well, not for me.

[B]

Very well, that's all for now.

[A]

Okay. Well, I'm.

[B]

Oh, Carrie.

[A]

Yeah?

[B]

You and I are flying out this afternoon.

[A]

We are?

[B]

Yes. There's four feet of snow on Crestville. You better wear your long ease.

[A]

Oh, now look here, Linda. Of all the corny idea.

[B]

Tell me all about it on the plane. We're leaving at 1 10th.

[A]

Yes, sir.

[B]

Well, at least I have a rough idea of what we'll do to the Brinker house.

[A]

I wish I had a rough idea of what I was going to use for a story.

[B]

But you have your story. 19 year old girl marries boy next door. It's America's best.

[A]

You're really getting folksy, aren't you? Next thing I know you'll be crocheting and putting up pickled cucumber pits.

[B]

Now listen, you stop sneering. And that's superior way of yours at all the important things in life.

[A]

Who's sneering? I see two children in the family. Gene, age 19 and Boo, age 17. Boo?

[B]

It's short for Barbara. Jean couldn't pronounce Barbara when they were babies. She called her Booba and it stuck.

[A]

What are these harpies like?

[B]

Oh, Jean, very pretty. Very.

[A]

Well, why didn't you say so?

[B]

Wipe off your chin, dear. The groom play football. Now you can work that into your story.

[A]

What story? The only way I'll get a story is to have typical Mr. Brinker beat typical Mrs. Brinker to death with a typical meat ax. Be reasonable. And I've got to find a gimmick.

[B]

You've got your gimmick. A June bride.

[A]

Hey, maybe there's insanity in the family. An uncle or something.

[B]

Now listen, Carrie, I'm very serious about this. I won't stand for any hoax. You're going to write a straight young love story. No twists, no angles, and no drama.

[A]

I am.

[B]

And you're going to be very nice to the Brinkers. No little jokes at their expense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Carrie, please be. Be charming.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

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[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, Aunt Carrie, listen. You will have to learn about Indiana people. They don't talk a great deal unless it's important.

[A]

Yeah, I know why. They're afraid if they open their mouths, they'll freeze their teeth. I'm so cold, I could. Shh.

[B]

Be quiet. Someone's coming.

[A]

I Hope it's a Saint Bernard with a castle. Yes, it is a Saint Bernard. Well, my dear Mrs. Brinker, I'd know you anywhere. It's so very nice to see you. And how are the children, Mrs. Brinker? Hmph. I guess I wasn't charming enough.

[B]

Oh, yes, dear, you were very charming. There was only one little thing the matter. That wasn't Mrs. Brinker. She. Someone come in. Oh, hello. Oh, Ms. Gilman. I'll be right down. Don't feel anything.

[A]

Who is that?

[B]

It sounds like Boo. Come on. We'll wait in the living room. Now, what's that?

[A]

This is a living room.

[B]

Well, it's the purple horror, all right, but we'll do something with it.

[A]

Yeah, you can set fire to it in several places.

[B]

No, no. Now, it won't be half bad when we get rid of some of the knick knacks and we cut away that scroll work.

[A]

Do you mean to tell me you can do something with this funeral?

[B]

Be surprised. Now, why the sardonic smirk?

[A]

Well, I wasn't smirking. I'm just looking at you with new respect.

[B]

Why? Because I know my business.

[A]

Frankly, I thought you'd be out of place in Indiana. Now I can even imagine you churning a tub of butter.

[B]

How am I doing?

[A]

Well, your hair's in your eyes. But you. You look wonderful.

[B]

Linda, the dining room's in here. You see that? That plate rack on the wall?

[A]

How can you talk about plate racks when I'm feeling so affectionate?

[B]

You must be thawing out.

[A]

Linda, we're going to be here for a whole week and, well, I have what I think is a wonderful idea. And it starts out like this, with a kiss. Let's. Let's do that again, huh?

[B]

I have a better idea. Go to the hotel and take a nice cold shower.

[A]

I give up.

[B]

Oh, no, don't give up. It's very interesting. Nobody makes love like that in Indiana or anywhere else. Hello. Boo, dear, how nice to see you again. This is Carrie Jackson, our feature writer.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

Now, don't get too near him, Boo. He wants to. Judo. Mother and Gina will be right down. We didn't expect you so soon. Who was that? Same Bernard. That lady who let us in Must have been Mrs. Lace next door. She's helping us with the curtains. Daddy, they're here.

[A]

They are? Well, hello, folks.

[B]

This is Mr. Jackson, Father. He's awfully nice for an older man.

[A]

Just call me Gramps. Glad to know you, Mr. Jackson, I'm sure. Well, here's Mrs. Brinker now.

[B]

Oh, hello, Miss Brinker. Hello, Mrs. Brinker. And, Jean, I'd like you to meet our feature writer, Carrie Jackson. Perry, Mrs. Brinker. And Jean.

[A]

Well, Mrs. Brinker, it's so nice to see you. I know you anywhere. I've heard so much about you. And this, of course, is Jean.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Yes, you certainly are.

[B]

Oh, I think it's all terribly exciting. All of you people coming all the way to Indiana just for my little old wedding.

[A]

Oh, well, we wouldn't miss your little old wedding for a little old million dollars.

[B]

I wish you'd tell us more about how you go about this kind of stuff. You told me a lot the last time, Ms. Gilman. But since then, the relatives. Well, I was wondering if we really should go through with it. Why, Mrs. Brinker, you'll be famous, absolutely famous. Now, let's go upstairs and have a chat, shall we? I'd like to wash up. We're all invited out for supper. Ms. Gilman. Some of the neighbors are giving a barn dance and snaves out. Well, that's wonderful.

[A]

Yes, yes, that's great. Well, I guess this is sort of an occasion. Are you. You a temperance man, Mr. Jackson? Am I a temperance oh, Miss Brinker, are you by any chance asking me if I'll have a drink? I'll go get it. I have to keep it hid like I saw in the movies once. Mrs. Brinker's Temperance. Oh, it's all right, Boo. Come on in.

[B]

Oh, I. I didn't think you saw me.

[A]

I'm glad I did. I want to talk to you.

[B]

Oh, what about?

[A]

You, Boo. You're a very attractive young lady. You shouldn't let Jean push you out of sight the way she does.

[B]

You're smart.

[A]

Who am I to oppose the opinion of thousands? Boo, those pictures on the mantelpiece family.

[B]

Most of them.

[A]

Tell me, how are all your uncles?

[B]

Fine. Oh, except Uncle Harry. We don't talk about him.

[A]

Oh. Little soft in the head, maybe?

[B]

Oh, no. He's a Democrat.

[A]

Oh. Who's that boy in the photograph there with you?

[B]

Oh, that's Bud.

[A]

Well, the happy bridegroom, huh? Is he a nice guy?

[B]

Wonderful.

[A]

I gather Boo likes Bud. Well, does he know?

[B]

Wouldn't make any difference.

[A]

Oh, now, you mustn't underestimate yourself.

[B]

No, I just haven't got socks.

[A]

What a sock.

[B]

Bounce, bounce.

[A]

I see.

[B]

Well, I just haven't got any. Gene has used to make Jim awfully mad.

[A]

Jim?

[B]

He's Bud's brother.

[A]

Oh, well, why should Jim care?

[B]

Well, my goodness. He and Gene were engaged once.

[A]

They were engaged? Bud's brother and Gene. Well, what happened?

[B]

Well, Jim stayed in the army after the war. He's stationed in Chicago. Well, he doesn't get home very often and, well, I don't know. I guess Gene just likes attention.

[A]

I see. So Gene took up with Bud, leaving Jim out in the cold, and you too. And the wedding is only a few days off, and you'll all live unhappily ever after. Boy, what an angle. Angle. What would happen if Jim came home before the wedding?

[B]

Probably caused an awful lot of trouble.

[A]

It would, huh?

[B]

But I'd like it.

[A]

You'd like it. And I'd have something to write about. Now, let me see. I could call the public relations officer at Chicago and use the hallowed name of Home Life magazine to get Jim ordered back here. Let's see. What was the public relations officer's name? Lynn. Major Lin. Major Howard Lynn. Yeah, and he could do it all right, too.

[B]

That's wonderful. Let's call him right now. Mr. Jackson.

[A]

Yeah. No, no, Boo, it's a wonderful idea, but I can't do it. Forget it.

[B]

Oh, but Foil.

[A]

Now, that determined young lady upstairs would serve my head on a platter. With an apple in my mouth, it

[B]

probably would cause an awful lot of trouble. But even so, I've got it. What's the matter with Father?

[A]

Will you excuse me? Your father and I are going to make some beautiful music.

[B]

You better chew a clove for an encore.

[A]

John, you better get upstairs.

[B]

I will, but first I've got a phone call to make. Operator, I want to make a long distance call. I want to speak to Major Howard Lynn at the army base in Chicago. One moment, please. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

John as Linda gilman and Fred McMurray as Kerry Jackson. Well, it's a few minutes later. Ms. Boo Brinker has completed her phone call to Chicago. And there at an army. You heard me, Mitchell. Those are orders. You mean I have to go? Major Lynn? Are you kidding? A week's furlough home? You don't understand, sir. My brother's getting married. Well? Well, he's marrying my best girl. At least she was. Never mind. Home. Life magazine wants you there. Report to a guy at the Brinker house named Carrie Jackson. And in the Brinker house, only Boo knows that Jim is on his way home. Upstairs, Linda Gilman is chatting with the bride to be, while down in the pantry, Carrie Jackson is about to experience an unexpected sample of Indiana hospitality. Gotta keep this jug hit outside, Mr. Jackson. Mrs. Brinker's very temperance keeps putting the cork back in. Oh, I gather that makes a difference, Mr. Brinkford. Well, it don't ferment if you keep the cork in. Oh, I see. What is it?

[B]

Cider.

[A]

Apple cider. Apple cider. You devil. Well, here you are, Mr. Jackson. Well, thanks. Down the hatch. Down the dusty road. Yes. I don't suppose there's any cafe in town where we could maybe get something? A little. Holy smoke cider. I guess it is a little strong that. That freezing don't leave much but pure alcohol. I don't light any matches around here at all. Apples, huh? Just plain apples. Pippins. Pippins. Well, I've bitten into many an apple, Mr. Brinker, but this is the first time I've ever had one bite back at me. How about another Little Snowden? What do you say? Do you think I better? I guess I can't refuse apples, huh? Just plain little old apples.

[B]

Can I help you unpack or something, Ms. Gilman? No, thank you. Tell me something, Jean. You happy? Oh, I guess I am. One thing's certain. I'm not going to be lonely anymore. Lonely? Oh, I was last summer. Nobody left in town. I'll say I was lonely. And then Bud came along and I grabbed him. Now, I'll ask you a question. Why aren't you married? Well, mostly because I wasn't married. Why didn't you ask him? Boo. Oh, now, really. Yes, Boona, really. You were listening in the hall again. It's the only way I ever get to hear anything. Well, I think I'll change. Did you press my red dress? I put it on your bed. Was it Mr. Jackson, the man you didn't ask? Now, who's interviewing who around here? Excited about the wedding, Boo? I think it's ghastly. You do? Why? I don't think I'll tell you. Being very cryptic. Don't you like me? Oh, yes. Oh, very much. You're what I want to be. Ms. Gilman. You're so. Well, so sure of yourself. I am. And you're chic. Oh, but deaf. Well, as for me, well, I send away for the patterns. I make the dresses exactly the way they say. But something happens when I get through. Not chic. I guess it's just me. Carrie and your father seem to be getting along famously. Ms. Gilman, if you really wanted a man, what would you do? Well, I think I'd grab him. Just like your sister, he would. But death. Well, you better get ready for the barn dance. I wonder what's going on down there. I bet Pop froze it again. What? Oh, nothing. And thanks for a very, very interesting conversation. Well, I. I didn't understand it all, but I'm glad you did. Well, look at you. You're opening your eyes.

[A]

Oh, I. I've been thrown away.

[B]

Feeling bad, eh?

[A]

Where am I? What is all this?

[B]

We're in a sleigh. We're on our way home from a barn dance.

[A]

Barn dance? You mean to tell me I've been to a barndash?

[B]

That you have. That you have.

[A]

He had a jug. Mr. Brinker had a juggie. He claims the stuff is made out of apples. Just little old apples.

[B]

And time stood still.

[A]

Yeah. I don't remember a thing. No, I don't want to. Hey, who are those giddy juveniles up front?

[B]

They're going home from the barn dance too. We are their chaperones. This is where they all get off.

[A]

All off?

[B]

We're getting off. Well, if you won't get up, Carrie, I just want to blow you a kiss, huh? And don't forget Friday. You promised, Carrie.

[A]

I did? Well, sure, sure. Who's that?

[B]

Sally. Good night, honey. Good night, honey.

[A]

I. I must have had a wonderful time tonight.

[B]

Yes, you did. Wonderful.

[A]

Just what Kind of a wonderful time did I have?

[B]

Wonderful. One by one. You promised every girl at the Crestville High to help her with her homework.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

It seems you're an expert on multiplication.

[A]

And then.

[B]

Oh, well, then you went to sleep. Not a moment too soon. You look very nice when you're asleep, Carrie. Very young. Innocent. It's astonishing.

[A]

You know you're mellowing. I think I'll help you with your homework.

[B]

Now, Carrie. No. Now stop it.

[A]

Apparently you've never walked home from a sleigh ride. I strongly advise against it. It's bitter cold and those woods are teeming with wolves.

[B]

All right, that settles it. I'm much too young to die. And you're very comfortable.

[A]

Like an old shoe. I know your cheek's cold.

[B]

It's getting warmer by the second.

[A]

You know, I'm beginning to like Crestville all of a sudden. I think I could settle down, too. I could get a job in New York. Stay put. I could even grow roses on Sunday, if that's what you want.

[B]

Could you really?

[A]

No.

[B]

As for me, I guess I look pretty silly following you all over Europe carrying your suitcases a respectable two paces behind. And speaking only when spoken to.

[A]

We have what I believe is referred to as a problem, don't we?

[B]

Oh, let's not make it a problem, Carrick. Let's not even talk about it.

[A]

Why not?

[B]

You'd be heading for Berlin again and. Oh, I'd miss you so.

[A]

Linda. Linda Gilman is not a woman. Ha.

[B]

Morning.

[A]

Morning, Linda. How do you feel?

[B]

Wonderful.

[A]

Hey, you're just in time. How do you spell idyllic? No, never mind. Come here.

[B]

You want me to measure the curtains now? Oh. Oh, not now, Mrs. Lace. Why don't you do the living room first? Already did. We are making new drapes. Oh.

[A]

Oh, that's nice. Nice.

[B]

How's the story going?

[A]

It isn't too many characters, I think.

[B]

Mrs. Lace, are you sure you've got the right measurements for the living room curtains? All right, I'll measure them again. You can just call me when you're through smooching. Mind if I read over your shoulder?

[A]

No, not at all. You should read over my shoulder more often. What's that?

[B]

It's just Mrs. Brinker. Paula's trying to massage 10 pounds off her. Paula has muscles like a cedar door.

[A]

When did Paula get here?

[B]

Oh, the whole staff arrived a few minutes ago. I wouldn't let them disturb you.

[A]

Hey, Linda, where are you? I thought I was supposed to take some pictures.

[B]

Well, I'll be with you In a minute, Scar. I give up, Linda. Just can't be done.

[A]

So you don't want them to disturb me, huh?

[B]

Oh, well, I'm sorry, Carrie. All right, Rosemary, what can't be done? I'm supposed to teach Mrs. Brinker how to make a cheese souffle and other goodies, right? Well, that's the way we planned it. Yeah. Hiya, Carrie.

[A]

Hi.

[B]

Have you seen that stove in there? That's not a stove. It's a locomotive boiler. And you don't need a cook, Linda. You need Casey Jones. Well, do the best you can. And when you finished in the kitchen, I want you to help me cook the living room sofa in half.

[A]

Look, how about sending Jean down here? I need some vital statistics, you know.

[B]

I know, but Paula will do all the necessary measuring.

[A]

Okay. I'm no good. I'll kill myself. Satisfied?

[B]

Jean's taking a bath.

[A]

Oh, then why don't I just run up there and get some stuff?

[B]

Carrie, see who's at the door, will you? I'll send the bride down when she's through.

[A]

Well, who are you? Who are you? Ah. I asked first. I'm Lieutenant Mitchell. I've got orders to report here to Mr. Jackson. No. What did you say your name was? Jim Mitchell. I've got. I'm sorry. Nobody's home. Everybody's gone.

[B]

Boo. Boo.

[A]

Where are you?

[B]

Moo. Moo's helping with the wallpaper. Who's that at the door?

[A]

Go away. Smallpox, bubonic plagues. They're all dead.

[B]

Now, please, Mrs. Brinker. If we're going to get any place, you've simply got to stop rippling. Paula's really been working her over.

[A]

With what? A hacksaw?

[B]

What's that at the door?

[A]

Just a peddler. I told him we didn't want it.

[B]

Peddler? That's an army officer. What's he selling?

[A]

A surplus airplane?

[B]

Open the door, Carrie.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Well, who are you?

[A]

I'm Jim Mitchell. I've got orders to report to a Mr. Jackson of Home Life magazine.

[B]

Well, this is Mr. Jackson.

[A]

Well, how do you do? How do you do? How do you do?

[B]

You must be Bud's brother. I'm Linda Gilman. Oh, this is wonderful.

[A]

It is.

[B]

The wedding would not complete without you, Lieutenant.

[A]

Linda, I. Well, there's maybe something I ought to know.

[B]

Your family in the Brinkers make such a delightful gentlemen.

[A]

Excuse me for interrupting, but I've been deliberately trying to avoid being home. It's about him and Jean.

[B]

What about them?

[A]

Jean.

[B]

Well, hello. What are you doing here?

[A]

I'm Home.

[B]

You are? Yeah. I thought you were still in Chicago.

[A]

No, no, I. I'm home. They were engaged once, Harry. Now, look, Linda, I'll admit I had the idea, but I gave it up.

[B]

I dropped you do something like that. I gotta do something about that sofa. I'll need a saw. You see the saw around here. Just a minute, Rosemary.

[A]

Well, I hope you'll be very happy, Jean.

[B]

I am already. I'm delighted to see that you're both intelligent young people. Oh, you needn't worry, Ms. Grand Gilman. I'm going to be very happy with Bud. He appreciates me. He wouldn't go off and leave me.

[A]

Now, look, I've told you a thousand times.

[B]

I think I'm going to wait until I'm practically an old maid to get married. You're very much mistaken.

[A]

Well, now, that's the kind of nasty talk we like to hear. Listen, Mr. Jackson, this is pretty rough. If you don't mind, I like to stay away until the wedding's over. Oh, good, good. Anything you want, old man, anything. So long, Ms. Gilman. Bellige. Well, for a moment there, I thought we were in trouble. About the story, I mean. Well, no harm done. What's the matter with her?

[B]

Nothing. She's just so happy. Jim. Jim, wait for me. No harm done. The whole June issue of Home Life magazine has just gone out that door.

[A]

Now, wait a minute. Before you flip your lid, there's another angle to this angle.

[B]

That's all you think about. I have 5 million readers waiting for the wedding of Jean and Bud. Suddenly all I have left is an angle.

[A]

What are you going to do?

[B]

Try and persuade those two to be sensible. And I'd better succeed, if you know what I mean.

[A]

Well, I've got the dining room chandelier down, Linda. What'll I do?

[B]

Oh, later, Scotty. Later. Why haven't we heard from Karen?

[A]

He's probably dead.

[B]

Why don't you turn your motor off for a while, Madam Editor? You've been going like this for three days now, ever since the kids walked out and did some. I should have kept on looking for them myself. In less than 24 hours, the wedding's supposed to take place in this house and in this room. Well, what are we gonna tell Mama? Oh, she's not suspicious? Oh, no. She still thinks that Jean went to visit her out in Fort Wayne. But when Jean doesn't show up at the wedding. Anything wrong, Mrs. Brinker? I just wanted to ask if I could please have a cup of tea. No, no, Mrs. Brinker. We spent all week drawing you out. You don't want to spoil your nice new figure, do you, Mrs. Brinker? You're looking very chic. I bet Mr. Brinker's so proud of you. Well, Whitman says he doesn't care if I'm chic or not, just as long as I stop screaming. Well, I think I'll just sit down and hold it, Mrs. Brinker. I better get some of the pins out of that dress first. Oh, my, all that sawing and pounding. Oh, they didn't really cut off the front porch did. No, it's not as bad as that. We just took off some of the scroll work. Oh, I'm glad. That's the only thing I wouldn't want. Linda, there. There's somebody here to see you at the back door. See who it is, will you, Paula? I think you better come. Linda, it's Mr. Jackson. Mr. Jackson, come back.

[A]

You better close the door, Linda. Well, I. I found her all right. Jean and Jim Mitchell.

[B]

Where are they? Cary.

[A]

Indianapolis.

[B]

What are they doing there?

[A]

Well, the last time I saw them, they were necking.

[B]

Now, don't be funny. Why didn't you stay with them?

[A]

Well, I felt a little out of place on a honeymoon. You see, they. They're married.

[B]

Married? Well, that does it. All right, Carrie, you'd better go inside and tell Mrs. Brinker you're not going

[A]

to go through with the story.

[B]

Well, there isn't any story. Now, obviously, we'll be leaving here tomorrow afternoon. We'll do a quickie in New York. But I can't leave this house in this mess.

[A]

Oh, now, wait a minute. Before you give up, I started this for a particular reason.

[B]

To be very patient with you.

[A]

Well, thank you. But don't you think you're taking this thing a little too seriously?

[B]

Seriously? I'm two days away from my deadline. We've already plated up six pages of picture, a thousand words of copy, and here I am without a story.

[A]

Without a. You've got the best story of your life. A real story about human beings, and it isn't finished yet. But if you're girding up your loins to fire me, go ahead and fire me. Get over with.

[B]

That's your usual reaction to a crisis, isn't it? Simply walk away. Let somebody else clean up the mess you've made.

[A]

I'm just trying to get out of. From underneath this labor versus management relationship of ours. Every time I get affectionate with you, I feel as though I were snuggling up to the Taft Hartley Bill.

[B]

Well, you needn't be troubled by it any longer. Your. You're fired.

[A]

Okay. Now, what about us?

[B]

Everything's finished here, Carrie. Including us.

[A]

That's very easy for you, isn't it? A little soft music, a kiss or two, a wave of the hand and exit. Carrie Jackson.

[B]

Sorry for you. And you're so sweet and so patient and so utterly dependable. And here I am being cruel to you on the flimsy pretext that you've just ruined everything we've done here.

[A]

Don't give me that. You're not firing me because Jean Brinker ran off with a man she should have married in the first place. It's because you're madly in love with me. And to you that's a sign of weakness.

[B]

Are in. Incredible. Incredible. Perched up on that pinnacle of masculine ego. Looking down at poor, weak, defenseless females and pitying them because they don't have beards.

[A]

If you had a beard, I wouldn't look at you twice.

[B]

Very amusing. And a typical male reaction to intellectual defeat.

[A]

Me? Intellectually defeated?

[B]

Oh, yeah. I've run into that attitude before. Every woman does the minute she starts to make a career for herself. Get back to the kitchen, Mother. It's a man's world.

[A]

All I want to do is make find out where I stand with you. And all of a sudden I'm knee deep in a battle of the sexes. What is this?

[B]

Right from the beginning, you've refused to follow instructions because I'm a woman and not to be taken seriously. This whole trip has been one big, hilarious joke to you, laughing gaily all the while. You've deliberately ruined the story we set out to do.

[A]

You've got a darn good story here, only you're so mad you can't see it. Maybe I have been a little bit flippant, but that's the way I am. I can't go around bleeding from every pore just because things don't go just right.

[B]

But there's always Berlin, you know.

[A]

Yes, there is. I only took this job, poor deluded dope that I am, because it meant a great deal to me to be near you again.

[B]

You have changed. Whatever else was wrong with you, you used to be honest.

[A]

I came back looking for you. Well, the next time you can go and look for me. And one thing more.

[B]

What?

[A]

Give me back my cigar. Bride. Starring Irene Dunn as Linda gilman and Fred McMurray as Kerry Jackson. Linda Gilman's June bride has turned into a January bride. Thanks, she believes, to Carrie Jackson and her own Romance with the ex foreign correspondent is as cold as the Indiana countryside. In this moment of despair, Carrie has a visitor. The little fixer, Upper Boo Brinker. Do me a favor, Boo. Don't ever be a woman.

[B]

You're still mad at me, aren't you? And Linda still thinks it was who brought Jim Mitchell back.

[A]

No, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about me.

[B]

Oh, I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about Bud. He's coming over.

[A]

Well, you told him about Gene, huh? What'd he say?

[B]

He said huh.

[A]

Evidently wasn't much of a blow to him.

[B]

Oh, it was. I can tell from the way he said it.

[A]

You're really in love with Bud, aren't you?

[B]

But he doesn't like me.

[A]

What makes you so sure?

[B]

I can tell.

[A]

How?

[B]

The way he breathes.

[A]

I don't get it.

[B]

When he's around Genie, he always breathes like this. When he's around me, he doesn't breathe at all.

[A]

You know why? Because he doesn't really think of you as an attractive woman.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

I haven't the faintest idea. Oh, look, if we could only make Bud jealous. I mean, if. Well, if we could make him think that somebody. Me, for instance, was madly in love with you. Look, will you go upstairs and tell Paula to give you that honeymoon dress that Jean was going to wear, and you put it on.

[B]

But I can't. What's coming over?

[A]

Well, that's just the point. Now, hurry. I'll keep him occupied till you're ready to come down. Where is she? Where's Boo? What'd she want? Sit down, Bud. Here, have a chair. I don't know. Better still have half a sofa. But you know, the minute I saw you, I said, there's a man of the world.

[B]

You did?

[A]

Yes. Naturally. When all this happened with Gene, I. I knew you'd take it well. I'm trying to, Mr. Jackson. I'm glad we could get together this way, old man. I've been wanting to ask your advice.

[B]

Yeah?

[A]

It's about Boo. Who? Boo. Do you think Boo could be interested in a man like me? Huh? I refer to marriage, of course.

[B]

Boo.

[A]

Boo. Since I've been here, I. I've become very fond of her.

[B]

Boo. Boo.

[A]

I must say, I. I admire your ability to carry on a conversation with just a few simple little words. Well, a lot has happened to me today, Mr. Jackson. I just can't seem to catch up. Let me get this straight. You want to marry Boo? If she'll have me. But you're Too old for her.

[B]

She's just a kid.

[A]

Oh, but Boo is blossoming. She's becoming a very attractive woman. I don't know whether you've ever noticed. That isn't the point. You just don't think of Boo as anybody's wife. You don't. I do. I can see her in a wedding dress right now, as a matter of fact. Boo, how nice you look.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Yeah, swell.

[B]

I can't tell you how sorry I am, Bud, about you.

[A]

Oh, well, forget it.

[B]

You have such a noble character.

[A]

That dress is exquisite, dear. And so are you, dear.

[B]

Oh, gee, Wilkins. Mr. Jackson, you're the only man I know that treats me like a woman.

[A]

Well, that's because I know you have the makings of a first class wife. Hey, now wait a minute. What's on your mind, Bud? You take your hands off of her. She's not your kind of girl. Well, whose kind of girl is she? I've watched Boo ever since she could walk. She doesn't need you. Well, this is still a free country, isn't it? How about Little Kiss, Baby?

[B]

What?

[A]

Man, what a woman. I'll be seeing you, Bud. Hey, what's been going on with you and him anyhow? Does your father know that a man that's practically old enough to be your mother is making passes at you?

[B]

Mr. Jackson's awfully nice and he says the most exciting thing.

[A]

Now you listen to me, Boobrinker. I don't like what's been going on around here and I don't like.

[B]

Like. What's the matter?

[A]

It's you. You look different.

[B]

I do? I mean, do I?

[A]

Yeah, a little bit. As though you're kind of. Yeah, you sure do, huh? You're blossoming. You're becoming a very attractive girl.

[B]

I am? Were you going to say something else?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Hey, how come you're leaning on me?

[B]

Is your back tired? I beg your pardon.

[A]

Beg my pardon. Boo, do you like me as much as you do, Mr. Jackson?

[B]

More, huh? I guess I always have. You're so strong. I am?

[A]

Boo. I, I, I, I know I'm not much, but. But, well, we've always gotten along so well together and everything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What I'd like to ask you is will you marry me?

[B]

No. Yeah.

[A]

Now? Right away. Only after what's happened, after Jean and all will I don't blame you for saying no.

[B]

Who said no?

[A]

You mean. Oh, swell, swell.

[B]

Why, Boo, what goes on here? Linda, we. Well, we're going to get.

[A]

And right away. If other people can get married so

[B]

can other people married you Are you won't change your mind? Oh, look, stay right here. Don't go away. For heaven's sake, don't move. Paula. Scott, Rosemary, come here quickly. Scott, look, unpack everything. Set up your cameras. Paula, Rosemary, you help me tell Mrs. Brinker what's happened. The wedding is going to take place right on schedule. Except that the bride is now booed. Who's the lucky man?

[A]

Not the damaris.

[B]

Behold, the bridegroom cometh him. Harry, may I come in?

[A]

If you're concerned about the fact that I'm still in the house.

[B]

Now, don't be silly. We're going through with our plans. There's going to be a wedding after all. But is going to marry Boo.

[A]

Who?

[B]

Boo.

[A]

Boo.

[B]

I thought you'd be surprised.

[A]

Astounded. I'm. I'm astounded.

[B]

All right, now. Now we can get back to work.

[A]

You fired me, remember?

[B]

Well, I'm unfiring you.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Oh, for heaven's sake, Carrie. We have a wedding to run off and not very much time to do it in it. And I can't get another writer at this late date.

[A]

Here, this is for you.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Copy a story page of it.

[B]

Oh, no, none of this is any good. Now we'll have to get completely new material. How Bud and Boo grew up together and how they discovered each other only because we came into their lives. That's the lead. Now, does that sound all right?

[A]

Oh, yes, yes, very good.

[B]

Fine. Then you get started right away.

[A]

It'll be here when you want it.

[B]

Oh, my little Boo getting married. Oh, I'm so nervous. Now, before you go downstairs, Mrs. Brinker, I want you to be sure you know just what to do. We're going to take pictures all during the ceremony. But now, don't let that bother you. Just be natural. Are you sure I look all right? Oh, Boo, you look lovely. I hope you'll be very happy. Thank you. My baby. My little Boo. There's the wedding Mart. You're cue to go down, Mrs. Springfield. And don't cry, Mom. I'm just getting married. Now, after the ceremony. Boo, remember, you and Bud are in the reception line. Oh, we'll be there. And just be sure to speak all the names loudly and clearly so that Mr. Jackson can take them down for the picture captions. Mr. Jackson? Oh, but he isn't here. What do you mean, isn't he? I guess you've been too busy to notice. He left last night. Left? He even called me from New York this morning to wish me Good luck. You didn't know. Oh, well, this is hardly your problem.

[A]

Good luck.

[B]

Boo. You can take her downstairs now.

[A]

Mr. Brinker, hold a matter manager. I want to pick a receipt.

[B]

Boo. Get downstairs, Scott, where you belong.

[A]

What's the matter with you?

[B]

Carrie's left. Walked out without finishing the story.

[A]

Where did he go? New York.

[B]

Let's face it, we haven't any story. But he left the copy. I have it right here. No, no, that's the old stuff on G. But I just read it. It's all about Boo. About Boo? Let me see. Then he knew all the time before I did. Well, this is the whole story. I don't get it. Oh, it's very simple. Terribly simple. I. I've just been an absolute idiot. If you're looking for an argument, you better pick another subject. Well, we don't want to miss booze. Why, Linda, you're crying. I'm not crying. It's an undignified. By all means, keep your dignity, Madam Editor. Personally, on these cold, wintry nights, I like a nice warm back to put my feet on. Shall we go down? Yes. Well, Linda, I guess this finishes it. June issue all ready to go to print. Any idea what we'll do for July? Oh, something rare, rich and novel. Probably with firecrackers in it. Same writer. Oh, by the way, call my office this afternoon. What was he calling about? This check. Oh, well, I'll be inside with the boss.

[A]

Come in, Linda, Come in. And what is that untidy object you're clutching?

[B]

June issue, Carlton. Dummy copy. I'll need your okay before it goes to print.

[A]

It. Sit down.

[B]

And Carlton, you. You have three months in which to find a new editor for Home Life.

[A]

Resigning. You?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Well, if you've had a better offer, I'm sure we can.

[B]

No, no, it's just that I'm. I'm tired of being a brick wall covered with roses. From now on, it's lavender and old lace for Linda Gilman.

[A]

With slippers and a pipe for Carrie Jackson.

[B]

Mm. If I can find him.

[A]

I take it he's not aware of the bliss in store for him.

[B]

No. Have you seen him?

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

Has he been in?

[A]

Constantly. Personally, I think he's just been waiting for you to come back.

[B]

Oh, yes, I can imagine.

[A]

Well, why don't you ask him? Go on, open that door.

[B]

Trying to tell me that, Carrie?

[A]

Then I'll open the door.

[B]

Hi, Carrie.

[A]

Al.

[B]

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Carrie. I was all wrong about you.

[A]

You always have been.

[B]

I only have two more issues to get out. And I'll be. I'll be free after that.

[A]

Oh, good. You need a rest.

[B]

I was thinking maybe next month we could do the story of Jean and Jim, the newlyweds in Chicago.

[A]

Well, have a good time.

[B]

Oh, no, I'm not all of it.

[A]

No, no, no, not me. I'll be doing something else. I'm. I'm leaving. As a matter of fact, I. I just stopped by now to say goodbye to Carlton. See, my suitcase is over there.

[B]

It was a beautiful wedding, Carrie. Everyone was very happy. Except me. I cried. I cried for a long time. I haven't done that in years.

[A]

Probably hay fever.

[B]

Oh, Carrie, don't. Don't make jokes. Don't shut me out.

[A]

Now, what do you expect? You've been dangling me like a yo yo all week. Go away. Carrie. Come back. Carrie. I never know whether you're gonna kiss me or kick me.

[B]

You want me to tell you now?

[A]

Don't get provocative and stop turning off the lights. We've been all through that, Carrie.

[B]

You know very well we're perfectly mated. After all, we're of opposite sexes.

[A]

Perhaps you remember a conversation we had about growing roses on Sunday versus carrying these suitcases all over Europe. It's become a very simple old fashioned question of who wears the pants. And I'd look pretty silly without them.

[B]

Oh, Carrie, wait, wait. Well, you forgot your suitcases. I'll carry them. Where to?

[A]

Berlin.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

Afghanistan?

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

Beluca.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Madagascar?

[B]

Anywhere.

[A]

Please step forward for a well deserved curtain call. Irene Dun and Fred McMurray. The play by Eileen Ty and Graham Lorimer. Our radio play was adapted by S.H. barnett and our music was composed and directed by Rudy Schrager.