1st Nighter 1948-01-01 The One In The Middle

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: 1st Nighter 1948-01-01 "The One In The Middle"

Release Date: September 1, 2025
Podcast Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Golden Age Radio Show: Campana's First Nighter Program

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Episode Overview

This episode showcases a classic radio broadcast from 1948: Campana’s First Nighter Program featuring the comedic romance play The One in the Middle, written by Virginia Safford Lynn. The drama unfolds at the Randolph Seminary for Young Ladies, centering on Peter Randolph, a recently discharged veteran, who finds himself as an impromptu astronomy teacher—and the romantic target of many students. The production stars Olan Soule as Peter and Barbara Luddy as Franny. The show’s format captures the excitement of a Broadway opening night, blending witty dialogue, gentle romance, and a nostalgic glimpse of pre-television family entertainment.

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Main Themes & Purpose

• Lighthearted Postwar Comedy: The play provides gentle, upbeat humor set in the immediate post-WWII era, reflecting both the innocence and optimism of late-1940s America.
• Romantic Mishaps: Central tension arises from Peter’s sudden popularity among the female students and their comedic schemes to win his affection.
• Family and New Beginnings: Against the backdrop of a new year, the characters pursue romance and fresh starts, mirroring the holiday’s spirit.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

[00:20–02:53] Opening Night Atmosphere & Introduction

• The “First Nighter” host welcomes listeners, sets the New Year's night Broadway scene, and introduces the actors and characters.
• Olan Soule plays Peter Randolph (a returned veteran); Barbara Luddy stars as Franny (a young student); Bea Benaderet is Tabby Randolph (Peter's sister and school principal).

Notable Segment:

• "Tonight's play is a comedy romance called 'The One In The Middle'... just what the doctor should order for New Year's night. A chance to relax and laugh." ([01:51] — First Nighter Host)

[03:09–07:53] Peter Arrives at the Seminary

• Peter arrives early due to his discharge and seeks to stay at his sister Tabby's girls’ school.
• Tabby, desperate to save the struggling school, appoints Peter as the new assistant principal and astronomy teacher, despite his lack of expertise.

Memorable Moment:

• Peter’s reaction to teaching astronomy:
  "But, Tabby, I don't know anything about astronomy."
  "Neither do they." ([05:48–05:50], Peter and Tabby)

[07:53–11:21] The All-Girls Astronomy Class

• The girls, charmed by Peter, all sign up for astronomy.
• The lighthearted interactions set the comedic tone—girls flirt and feign interest in stars.

Notable Quotes:

• "Mr. Randolph, don't you think the moon's in its—"
  "Personally, I never knew they could get the moon into a canoe." ([09:27–09:32], Student and Peter)

[13:27–15:56] Romantic Rivalry Among Students

• The girls discuss tactics for winning Peter’s affection.
• Franny, Jean, and Maudie each attempt to appeal to different aspects of Peter’s personality: athleticism, helplessness, and poetic romance.
• Tabby reveals all 50 girls are signing up for the next semester, thanks to Peter’s charm.

[18:38–22:25] Escalating Antics & Affection

• Franny invites Peter onto the balcony to see the Big Dipper, leading to a sweet moment and poetic dialogue.
• The girls intensify their rivalry, pondering ways to get Peter to "rescue" one of them and reveal his true affection.

Quote:

• "Isn't it true the bird of time has but a little way to flutter." ([19:36], Franny)

[25:20–26:30] Testing Peter: The Smoke “Rescue” Plan

• The girls stage a fake smoke emergency hoping Peter will rescue his favorite, thus revealing which girl he prefers.
• Their plan backfires as Tabby leads an organized fire drill, and Peter ends up being “rescued” by all three, much to his confusion.

[29:25–32:18] Resolution & The Choice

• Tabby calls a school assembly to address the fire stunt.
• Franny takes blame and apologizes.
• Tabby announces Peter's departure—he makes a brief farewell.
• In a comic and heartfelt moment, Peter asks the girl in the middle (Franny) to represent the school, signaling his affection.

Resolution Quote:

• “No, no, the one in the middle. Will you come up here a moment, please? That’s the girl.” ([30:55], Peter)

[32:18–33:47] Finale

• Peter and Franny share a romantic, comedic goodbye on the balcony, confirming their connection.
• The other girls receive souvenirs (like a piece of Peter’s blue polka dot tie) and accept the outcome.
• The First Nighter Host closes the play, promising another new show next week.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Neither do they." ([05:50], Tabby, when Peter worries about teaching astronomy)
• "You've made me so aware of the vastness of eternity." ([19:19], Franny to Peter)
• "Well, after all, they are just kids." "Oh yes, children of 17, 18, and 19. Mere babies." ([25:53–26:00], Peter and Tabby)
• "Stand right there in front of me, please. Raise your head. Now say prunes." ([31:03–31:09], Peter to Franny, a playful and romantic finale)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:20] – First Nighter Host sets the scene & introduces cast.
• [03:09] – Peter's comedic return and appointment as astronomy teacher.
• [07:53] – The classroom chaos and flirtatious girls.
• [13:27] – Beginning of Act II and romantic plotting.
• [18:38] – Franny’s stargazing and deepening affection.
• [25:20] – Girls' staged emergency and Peter’s “rescue.”
• [29:25] – School assembly, apologies, and Peter’s farewell.
• [31:03] – The big reveal: Peter selects “the one in the middle.”
• [32:11–33:47] – Balcony farewell and curtain close.

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Tone & Style

The play maintains a playful, romantic, and slightly farcical tone throughout, with witty banter, affectionate teasing, and innocent flirtation. The “First Nighter” format blends the thrill of theater with radio’s intimacy, drawing listeners into both the laughs and the yearnings of its postwar characters.

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Conclusion

The One In The Middle is a classic example of mid-century radio comedy, mixing gentle romance with slapstick misunderstandings and cheerful optimism. The interplay between Peter, his sister Tabby, and the determined girls offers a humorous glimpse at postwar American mores and radio's role in providing wholesome family entertainment. The episode ends on an uplifting note, promising more comedic adventures in the "little theater off Times Square" next week.

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For fans of classic radio—and anyone who enjoys lighthearted romantic comedy—this episode captures the warmth and wit of a bygone era in American entertainment.

Transcript

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[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

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[Narrator/Announcer]

Campana's first nighter program from the Little theater off Times Square. Starring Olin Soule and Barbara Luddy. With an all star cast presented by Campana, the quality name in cosmetics theater time Broadway. And on this new year's night a new play makes its vow to the public from the stage of the little theater off Times Square. It's an exciting event because host of celebrities always attend these opening nights on the Great White Way. And to be sure that you miss none of the fun, here's your host for the evening. The genial First Nighter.

[First Nighter Host]

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm delighted that you can join our party. The theater is just a few blocks away and here's my cab. Shall we start? All right, driver to the Little theater please. Up Broadway, across 42nd Street. Here was the scene last night of one of the greatest New Year's Eve celebrations in history. The crowds were thick in Times Square and tonight it's by no deserted. Just ahead now is the little theater. Well, here we are.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

My gracious, that girl must have a magic touch. She's surrounded by photographers. I understand we'll all have a magic touch next week.

[Peter Randolph]

Have your tickets ready please. Have your tickets ready please. Good evening, Mr. First Nighter.

[First Nighter Host]

The usher will show you to your seats. Thank you, we'll go right in. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're in our seats and I must say as I look over the audience that every woman here tonight must have the magic touch. I never saw so much beauty. Tonight's play is a comedy romance called the One in the Middle. Written by Virginia Safford Lynn and co starring Olin Soule and Barbara Luddy. That sounds like just what the doctor should order for New Year's night. A chance to relax and laugh. Mr. Soul, I see by the program is to play the part of Peter Randolph, a recently returned vet. Ms. Lottie is cast as Franny, a young lady tentatively engaged in the pursuit of higher education. And what an all star supporting cast. Including Bea Benedarrett as Tabby Randolph, Peter sister Sandra Gould as Maudie, Jane Webb as Jean and other famous names. But now, before first curtain, let's listen to Frank Wirth and his First Nighter orchestra.

[Peter Randolph]

Curtain.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

First curtain.

[Peter Randolph]

Have you heard about magic Touc?

[First Nighter Host]

There's the signal for first curtain. The house lights Are out. And here's the play.

[Tabby Randolph]

Come in.

[Peter Randolph]

I haven't got an apple, but may I come in anyway, teacher?

[Tabby Randolph]

For mercy sakes. Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

Hello, sis. How are you?

[Tabby Randolph]

Oh, darling. Peter, I didn't expect you until next week.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, my discharge came through sooner than I expected.

[Tabby Randolph]

Oh, let me see how you look. Oh, you still look that way.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, stop. Listen, Tabby, could you put me up here at the school for a while?

[Tabby Randolph]

Well, I could put you in the assistant principal's room down the hall. Come on, bring your suitcase. He's left and we haven't got a new one yet.

[Peter Randolph]

Ah, good old sis.

[Tabby Randolph]

Elsie, it's really a nice room.

[Peter Randolph]

Mm. Lap of luxury, no less. Say so. Great Scott. Sound general quarters. What's that?

[Tabby Randolph]

The young ladies returning from their daily constitutional.

[Peter Randolph]

Golly, we're gonna.

[Tabby Randolph]

I'll protect you. Young ladies, less noise, if you please.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Yes, Miss Randolph.

[Tabby Randolph]

Oh, girls, one moment. I believe this would be an opportune time for you to meet my brother, Peter Randolph. Young ladies, where are your manners?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

How do you do, Mr. Randolph?

[Peter Randolph]

Well, how do you do, young ladies?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, Mr. Randolph, it'll be wonderful having you here with us. Oh, it really will. It's our first real break since they put in electrical refrigeration in the Iceman. Stop. Cub of thing.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, thank you.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

I think, Mr. Randolph, astronomy is my most favorite subject.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, thank you for telling me.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, thank you for listening.

[Tabby Randolph]

Young ladies, kindly proceed to your rooms, if you please.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Yes, yes, Mr. Adel. Goodbye, Mr. Randolph. Goodbye.

[Peter Randolph]

Goodbye. The love of heaven. Tabby, get inside here quick. They might get loose again.

[Tabby Randolph]

Peter, do you know what they think?

[Peter Randolph]

No, and don't tell me the assistant.

[Tabby Randolph]

Principal always teaches astronomy.

[Peter Randolph]

And all I can say is, heaven help him, whoever he's going to be.

[Tabby Randolph]

Peter, dear, I've got news. He's going to be you.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, that's very nice. Hey, wait a minute.

[Tabby Randolph]

Yes, Peter.

[First Nighter Host]

Go, Tammy.

[Tabby Randolph]

Peter, I didn't write you about this, but the school's really on the rocks.

[Peter Randolph]

How could it be with all those girls?

[Tabby Randolph]

Well, Most of the 50 aren't coming back next semester. They're very bored. Peter, you'll have to face it. You are the Navy's gift to the Randolph Seminary for Young Ladies.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, no, I'm not. Tabby, you're a very nice sister and I'm extremely fond of you, but you're not that nice and I'm not that fond.

[Tabby Randolph]

Now, this is your classroom, Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

But, Tabby, I don't know anything about astronomy.

[Tabby Randolph]

Neither do they.

[Peter Randolph]

So you'll start even you're asking one poor lone guy to face 50 girls.

[Tabby Randolph]

Only 2 of the girls take astronomy.

[Peter Randolph]

Only 2? Then why do you have the subject?

[Tabby Randolph]

Because I think everyone should know astronomy.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

It's.

[Tabby Randolph]

It's very broadening.

[Peter Randolph]

That's what I'm afraid of. Oh, jump on Jupiter. Man the lifeboats.

[Tabby Randolph]

Oh, for mercy sakes. The entire school now takes astronomy.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Good morning, teacher. Morning. Good morning, teacher.

[Peter Randolph]

Good morning, students.

[Tabby Randolph]

Well, I'll leave you to your work. And you've certainly got it.

[Peter Randolph]

Hey. Hey, Tabby, wait. Listen. Young ladies. Thank you. As you know, we are gathered together here to find out all about the romance of the stars.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Mr. Randolph, my favorite star is Ronald Coleman.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Oh, really?

[Peter Randolph]

Mine's Claudette Cossack. Will come to order, please. Are there any questions?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Yes, Ms. Frances Emerson, but everyone calls me Franny. And I do hope that you will too, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Thank you very much. You have a question, Franny?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

No, thank you, but I'm sure I will have later.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, now, do we have any textbooks or star maps around here?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

My name's Jean Taylor and the books are on your desk. My name's Marty Dexter and there's a star map in back of you.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, what do you know? Just look at all these stars. Now who can tell me the names of all these stars? On to the next exercise. Now here's an attractive looking constellation or something.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Mr. Randolph, could that possibly be the Big Dipper?

[Peter Randolph]

Why Franny, that's very clever of you. Because it is the Big Dipper, I think. And in military circles they call it Ursa Major. Oh, come now, it wasn't that funny. Now if you'll all please look at the star map over here. We have at the map girls, please.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Mr. Randolph, don't you think the moon's in its.

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[Lowe's Announcer]

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[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Bass in a canoe on a summer night.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, personally, I never knew they could get the moon into a canoe. Now we'll move on to the subject of eclipses. Now, this is caused by the sun getting in the way of the. Rather, the moon gets between the. Well, suppose we put it this way. When the moon and the sun and the earth, you have the planets if anyone wants them. And now let us take a quick peek at meteors when the. Who's doing the whispering back there? Franny, is that a note you have in your hand?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Well, I, I, I. What did you say, Mr. Randolph?

[Peter Randolph]

I can't have that sort of thing going on in my classroom, you know. Francis Emerson, bring that note to teacher at once.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Yes, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Here. Yes, thank you. Now, much as I dislike doing this, I shall have to make an example of you, Franny. The note reads as follows. Dear Maudie, hasn't he the darlingest wave in his hair? You may return to your seat, Miss Emerson.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Yes, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Now, here we have a very interesting picture of the sun. Now, let's see what the caption says beneath it. Well, it says the sun. What are those bells that keep ringing?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

They're the bells for all our other classes, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh. Or. Class dismissed. Hey, girls. Hey, listen, girls. Hey.

[Tabby Randolph]

Young ladies, proceed at once to your other classes.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, yes, Miss Randolph. Goodbye, Mr. Randolph. Come on, girls.

[Tabby Randolph]

Apparently, your astronomy class was a howling success. All three hours of it. They. Well. Peter. Peter, are you all right?

[Peter Randolph]

No, no, but it's nothing that a few weeks in a psychopathic ward won't cure.

[First Nighter Host]

I heard he comes down on the first act of tonight's play in the Little Theater of Times Square.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Smoking in the outer lobby or downstairs.

[Peter Randolph]

Only, please listen next week for news about Magic Touch.

[First Nighter Host]

All right. Now I see someone stealthily approaching and is I live. It's Larry Keating.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Happy New Year, ladies and gentlemen. And what better time than New Year's night for you ladies to make some beauty resolutions. For example, be it resolved that tomorrow.

[Italian Balm Advertiser]

The first shopping day of the new year, I shall get what so many women say is the finest hand lotion they've ever used. Famous Italian bomb.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yes, your old friend Italian bomb is back again after its absence during the war. So be it resolved that in this.

[Italian Balm Advertiser]

Winter of 1948 I shall protect my skin against wintertime dryness and chapping by using rich concentrated Italian balm, the famous wintertime lotion that originated years ago in cold Canada. It's so different from thin watery lotions. It gives such extra good protection.

[Narrator/Announcer]

And ladies, why not protect your pocketbook while you protect the beauty of your hands? For instance, be it resolved that I.

[Italian Balm Advertiser]

Shall save money by buying Italian balm, the famous hand lotion that sells today at exactly its pre war price.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yes, ladies, good dependable Italian bomb offers you the same pre war quality, same pre war quantity, same pre war price. Start using this famous cold weather lotion tomorrow and see how truly soft and smooth your hands can be all winter long.

[First Nighter Host]

Curtain.

[Peter Randolph]

Yes, you'll learn about magic touch next week.

[First Nighter Host]

The first nighters are hurrying down the aisles to their seats. The lights are dimmed and here's the second act of the One in the Middle.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, Mr. Randolph, could I speak to you minute?

[Peter Randolph]

Why yes, Ms. Franny.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Well, I just wanted to say I'm awfully embarrassed about that note I wrote in class today.

[Peter Randolph]

You're embarrassed? Franny, could we please just forget it ever happened?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, I think it's awfully nice of you to take that attitude, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Yes, as a matter of fact it is very nice of me. I should make you stand in a corner for five minutes. And come to think of it, you look rather cute standing in a corner.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Why, Mr. Randolph, what do you mean?

[Peter Randolph]

I have no idea. Let's just forget about that too, shall we? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to see my sister about something very important. I'm sure.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, I didn't mean to disturb you, Mr. Randolph. I haven't disturbed you, have I, Mr. Randolph?

[Peter Randolph]

Franny, I'm very sorry, but you haven't disturbed me in the least.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, well, goodbye, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Goodbye, Franny.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Well, goodbye.

[Peter Randolph]

Goodbye then. Franny. Oh, excuse me, girls. Could I get through here, please? Pardon me, will you let me pass? Excuse me, could I open the door? Tabby, what in thunder is that lineup outside your door?

[Tabby Randolph]

Isn't it Splendid? All 50 girls are signing up for next semester.

[Peter Randolph]

You may now start shopping around for a New assistant principal.

[Tabby Randolph]

Oh, but Peter, you can't go till next semester. The girls might change their minds.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, well, just how soon does the next semester start?

[Tabby Randolph]

Why, in no time at all. Just eight weeks from the middle of next month.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, daddy. Oh no.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

We must be losing our grip. We've worked on him now for three weeks. I think he likes the type of girl who could be a real pal to him. Oh, Jean, I think he prefers a cuddly type. I really do. Pete. Mr. Randolph prefers the romantic, poetic type. And remember this, girls. As soon as he definitely shows which one he's really interested in, the rest have to lay off and give me a clear field. Hi there, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, hello Jean.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Isn't it a swell day? I'll bet you're dying for a game of tennis. Of course, with the right partner. I mean the kind of girl who's nuts about outdoor life. And who can play golf and ride and hike even with a cold.

[Peter Randolph]

Gene, would you care to wrestle?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Why yet? Mr. Randolph, where are you going?

[Peter Randolph]

Pardon me while I dash out and rip off a couple of hundred yard sprints.

[Tabby Randolph]

Oh, Mr. Randolph.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

No, Marty, no. Now you know the rules. No staying after class.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

But I didn't understand one single thing you told us about astronomy today. Really? I didn't?

[Peter Randolph]

Well, that's okay. I didn't either.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Well, I don't think you realize what a helpless little thing I am.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh yes I do.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Just look how little and helpless I am. Isn't it awful?

[Peter Randolph]

It's a shame. And now if you'll excuse me, I have an engagement with a moon about a dog. Star. Yes, just a second. Why, good evening, franny.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Good evening, Mr. Randolph.

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[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, could you please come out on the balcony, quick?

[Peter Randolph]

Why? What's happened to it?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Come on, hurry.

[Peter Randolph]

Yeah, yeah.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Open the door, quick.

[Peter Randolph]

Yeah, yeah, Come on, quick.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Look. Just look, Mr. Randall.

[First Nighter Host]

Where? Where?

[Peter Randolph]

Where?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Up there in the sky. The Big Dipper.

[Peter Randolph]

What's it doing?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

It's the very same one you've been telling us about all these weeks.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, just think of that. Well, thank you very much for the treat. Now, shall we go back inside, Franny?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Isn't it a beautiful night? You know, some people think that you can see stars reflected in other people's eyes. Can you see stars reflected in my eyes, Mr. Randolph?

[Peter Randolph]

Well, there seems to be something there, all right.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Let me see if they're reflected in your eyes, too.

[Peter Randolph]

No, no, mine never reflects. Never.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, Mr. Randolph, you've made me so aware of the vastness of eternity.

[Tabby Randolph]

Somehow.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

There's such an awful lot of eternity. It's all so sweet and brief and fleeting.

[Peter Randolph]

You are so right. Here today, gone tomorrow, like.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Isn't it true the bird of time has but a little way to flutter.

[Peter Randolph]

And this bird is on the wing.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

But, Mr. Van. Oh, dear. Well, thank heaven that's my last class for today. Got anything to eat, Fran? Oh, cheese and crackers. Gimme. Say, Jean, do you know that the cook is making a coconut cake because she's found out he loves coconut cake even though it always makes him sick. Oh, then we could nurse him somehow. Somehow we three don't seem to be getting anywhere. Well, maybe he's fallen for one of us and is hiding it bravely. Certainly. Why, I can sense it every time he looks at me. Gee, when he looks at me, I don't sense anything. And the tone of his voice when he speaks to me, the touch of his hand. Wait a minute. When did he ever touch your hand, Franny? Wednesday morning at 10:33. I was erasing the blackboard and asked him to help me lift the eraser. You trying to tell us that he's followed? For you all right, I'll prove it. This time of afternoon, he always goes for a stroll. When he opens the front door, the three of us will be standing there. And remember, girls, you're on your own.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, Hello. Hello.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Hi, Miss Randolph. Hello there, Mr. Randolph. Hello, Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

Going somewhere, girls?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Yes, I'm going up that way and I'm going down this way. I'm going over that way. Which way are you going, Mr. Randolph?

[Peter Randolph]

Well, I.

[Tabby Randolph]

Sorry to keep you waiting, Peter. Oh, good afternoon, girls.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Good afternoon, Ms. Randolph.

[Tabby Randolph]

My brother and I are on our way to the post office. Won't you join us?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Thank you very much. But. But. But. Come on, girls.

[Peter Randolph]

Goodbye, girls. Care, Tabby. Here, let me take the package.

[Tabby Randolph]

Thanks, Peter. Somehow things don't seem to be working out quite as I'd intended. My idea was to put the school back on its feet, not demoralize it. If you really want to leave before next semester.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, there's no special rush.

[Tabby Randolph]

Oh, now, don't tell me you're getting interested in one of these girls.

[Peter Randolph]

Okay, then, I won't tell you.

[Tabby Randolph]

Peter, if I hadn't come along just then, which way would you have gone?

[Peter Randolph]

Why, without a moment's hesitation, I'd have gone looking for you.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Marty, give me some cookies. You know, we've still got to find out which one of us it is. If we could only all be in some kind of danger, then he'd rescue one of us. Then we'd know, or at least the rest of you would. Maybe we could sort of get in a rowboat and drown. Just kinda. I mean, how about a runaway horse with all 50 of us on its back? Oh, wait, listen. He's coming down the hall. I know his step. Quick, open the door a crack. Open wider, Jean. I can't see. Oh, doesn't he look darling? Oh, he's wearing that sweet blue polka dot tie again. Girls, I've just had. I've just had a perfectly wonderful idea. Well, wait a second till I have one more look. Oh, my. Okay, close the door and come here. Now, listen, here's my idea.

[First Nighter Host]

And the curtain comes down on the second act of the night play in the little theater off Times Square.

[Peter Randolph]

Smoking downstairs or in the outer lobby only. Please come again next week, ladies, and hear all about the magic touch.

[First Nighter Host]

And now, ladies and gentlemen, let me bring you in person. Larry Keating.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Ladies, why are your hands so dry tonight, so rough and scratchy?

[Italian Balm Advertiser]

Because in winter, the dry indoors air and cold dry outdoors air and wintry winds all combine to rob my skin of its natural moisture. Every Minute of the day, right?

[Narrator/Announcer]

And what is the best thing, do you think, for that?

[Italian Balm Advertiser]

Well, thousands like myself say Italian balm. This famous lotion puts back moisture into my skin. Helps it keep soft and smooth. Does it so quickly too. The minute Italian balm touches my skin, it feels smooth, more velvety. The action is almost immediate.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Have you ever found a lotion that equaled Italian balm in caring for the skin in wintertime?

[Italian Balm Advertiser]

The answer that thousands of women would give to that question is no, I haven't. Because Italian balm will keep hands free of dryness and chapping no matter what happens in the way of housework or weather.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yes, Italian balm is a sturdy protector against dryness and chapping. It was born and reared in Canada, North America's coldest climate. Its success there brought it to the United States. And since the day it crossed the border, so many women have said the.

[Italian Balm Advertiser]

Italian balm never fails me. It has a quality and richness that my skin seems to need when winter comes.

[Tabby Randolph]

Curtain of the last curtain.

[Peter Randolph]

And next week hear about Magic Touch.

[First Nighter Host]

The first nighters are all in their seats ready for the last act. And there goes the curtain.

[Tabby Randolph]

Peter, come here into my office. I want to show you something.

[Peter Randolph]

Okay? And then I'm going to bed. What do you want to show me?

[Tabby Randolph]

These exam papers from various classes. Peter, did you know an hypotenuse equals the distance between Venus and Mars? Or that the Celts were driven into Wales and Cornwall by a shooting star? Or that the recipe for muffins is 2 cups of flour to one half cup of Milky Way? When are you leaving, Peter?

[Peter Randolph]

Yes, I see what you mean. Well, after all, they are just kids.

[Tabby Randolph]

Oh, yes, children of 17, 18 and 19.

[Peter Randolph]

Mere babies.

[Tabby Randolph]

Isn't it odd how fond you've become of teaching? Peter, just between us girls, which one is it?

[Peter Randolph]

Which one? Why, the one in the middle.

[Tabby Randolph]

All right then, don't tell me. But let me warn you, if you ever single out one girl, it'll probably lead to mass suicide.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Now be quiet, girls, and stand back so I can open the furnace door. Give me the rags and stuff, Jean. Wait a second, Fred. Put just a little more oil on. Oh, wouldn't it be awful if the register in his room wasn't open? Don't worry. I went in and opened it wide while he was in Ms. Randolph's office. You better give me the matches, Jean. Here, this is going to make lots and lots of lovely smoke. I'll say it does. Close the furnace door, Fran. Let's get back upstairs. Maudie. You and Jean go to your rooms and stay there. Then when Peter comes to rescue me, keep out of his way. Well, I think he'll come to rescue me, I really do. Let the poor girl dream. I'll be the one who'll tell you girls what it was like.

[Tabby Randolph]

Girls, into the halls. Line up, girls. Maudie, come out of your room.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Open this rail.

[Tabby Randolph]

Line up, girls. It's just like fire drills. Jean, come out here at once.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Let Ms. Rad line up.

[Tabby Randolph]

Franny, come out into the hall or must I brag?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, let Ms. Rad.

[Tabby Randolph]

All right now, girls, march. One, two, one, two.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Keep your head.

[Tabby Randolph]

Girls, stay alive. One, two. One, two. Is everyone accounted for? Is everyone out of the building? Yes, Ms. Randolph.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

We're all out here dog gunning the fire department.

[Tabby Randolph]

We'll have everything under control in just a moment. Now everyone stay right here on the lawn.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

How could she be so mean? She personally rescued every single girl. What a dirty trick. She spoiled everything. She really did. Girls. Where is he? Ms. Randolph, where's your brother?

[Tabby Randolph]

Peter? Well, isn't Peter here? Peter, are you here?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Peter? He's been overcome by smoke. He's trapped in his room. Get out of my way. Girls, I'm gonna to save him. Freddy, come back. I'll save you. Girls. Girls, wait for me. I'll save him. Really, I. Girls.

[Tabby Randolph]

Girls, come back here.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

There he is. Chilling bed, overcome with smoke. Quick, Jean, you take his feet. You take his feet, I'll take his head. Doesn't he look darling in pink and blue stripes? Maudie, get his other shoulder. Now, altogether lived up. Isn't he wonderful and heavy?

[Peter Randolph]

Hey, hey, hey, what's going on? Oh, girls, go away.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Don't be frightened, Peter. We're saving you.

[Peter Randolph]

For what?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

You've been overcome by smoke.

[Peter Randolph]

What? Smoke?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Smoke from the. Oh, there isn't any smoke in here. Oh, Peter, how could you? You close your register. Oh, oh, oh.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, don't just stand there. Somebody pick me up.

[Tabby Randolph]

Young ladies, I've called you all here to the assembly room this morning in reference to the most regrettable occurrence of last night. The identity of the three girls involved is known to me. Naturally, they should be expelled. However, I'm willing to be lenient on one condition. The ringleader of these three must confess.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, now, Tabby, listen.

[Tabby Randolph]

Sit down, Peter. Well, young ladies, I'm waiting.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

I did it, Ms. Randolph. Really I did. Oh, no, Ms. Randolph. I am the guilty one. Oh, no, wait. I'm the one. Ms. Randolph, it was my idea.

[Tabby Randolph]

Yes, Fanny, I know it was. Come up Here, please. You are to make a public apology to the entire school, my brother and me.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Yes, Ms. Randall. I. I'm sorry.

[Tabby Randolph]

Thank you, Franny. You may now return to your seat.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Yes, Ms. Randall.

[Tabby Randolph]

Now, I have an announcement. My brother Peter is leaving us this morning. And I might add that he's doing so at my personal invitation. There will be no demons. Demonstration, if you please. After all, I can't have the school burning down every night. Now, Peter, you may make a brief valedictory address if you like.

[Peter Randolph]

Thank you, Tabby. Young ladies, what I have to say can be summed up in one word. Goodbye. I wish I could say it to each of you individually, but time does not allow. So will one of you girls act as the school's representative? How about you there?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Really?

[Peter Randolph]

No, no, the one in the middle. Will you come up here a moment, please? That's the girl.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Yes, Mr. Randall.

[Peter Randolph]

Stand right there in front of me, please. Raise your head. Now say prunes. Prunes.

[Tabby Randolph]

Peter.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, my.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh. Oh, how could you?

[Peter Randolph]

Franny. Here, Franny, wait a second.

[Tabby Randolph]

Peter, you come straight back here.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

Franny. Franny, where are you? Franny. No. Ah, the balcony. Hello, Juliet.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

You go away. Wasn't I humiliated enough without your kissing me?

[Peter Randolph]

Well, I just thought everyone should know which one it is. And has been all the time.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

You really mean. Oh, no, you're just saying that.

[Peter Randolph]

Ah, darling, come here.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Oh, no. Now wait. Oh, please. Oh, Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

Strawberry. Oh, you funny, sweet little thing.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Well, that's that, I guess. Oh, wasn't it beautiful the way he said.

[Tabby Randolph]

Strawberry?

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

Come on, Marty, that's all there is.

[Tabby Randolph]

Here. I'll give you half his blue polka dot tie.

[First Nighter Host]

Ladies and gentlemen, on the final act of a new play, as there's the end of the play and Mr. Soleil and Ms. Marty are getting round after round of applause. Next week, the little theater off Times Square will present another new play entitled Health Waters Female. It's packed with suspense and intrigue. Be sure to join us next week at this same time. And ladies, the good news is coming. When you tune in next week, you'll hear about Magic Touch. And from that time on, you can have a magic touch at your fingertips. And now we move out of the theater and into the street. Mr. First Nighter, thank you and happy New year.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Campana's first night of program, starring Barbara Luddy and Odin Sule, is a copyrighted radio feature. Tonight's play was pure fiction and did not refer to real people or actual events. That is entrancing. You mean my perfume yes, indeed.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

That's very special.

[Italian Balm Advertiser]

Very new, very lovely. It's called Cotton Blossom, an exquisite fragrance by Old south toiletries.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Cotton Blossom. I'll remember that.

[Franny (Frances Emerson)]

You can get it at better stores.

[Italian Balm Advertiser]

Just ask for Cotton Blossom by Old South.

[Peter Randolph]

The first Nighter program came to you.

[First Nighter Host]

Over cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.