1st Nighter 1948-01-01 The One In The Middle

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio - "1st Nighter 1948-01-01 The One In The Middle"

Introduction Harold's Old Time Radio transports listeners back to the Golden Age of Radio, showcasing classic radio shows that captivated families before the advent of television. In the inaugural episode titled "1st Nighter 1948-01-01 The One In The Middle," hosted by Harold's Old Time Radio, audiences are treated to the premiere night of "The One in the Middle," a comedy romance play presented by Campana at the Little Theater off Times Square. Released on April 2, 2025, this episode immerses listeners in the vibrant atmosphere of New Year's Eve 1948, capturing the essence of live theater and its stars.

---

Setting the Scene

The episode opens with Larry Keating introducing the atmosphere of New Year's Eve at the Little Theater. At [00:35], Keating sets the stage for an exciting evening, highlighting the glamour and excitement surrounding Broadway's opening nights:

"It's an exciting event because hosts of celebrities always attend these opening nights on the Great White Way."

First Nighter, the show's persona, warmly welcomes the audience, emphasizing the communal joy of attending a live theater performance. At [01:22], Keating narrates the journey to the theater, painting a vivid picture of the bustling crowds in Times Square:

"The crowds were thick in Times Square and tonight it's by no means deserted."

---

Introducing "The One in the Middle"

Once inside the theater, Larry Keating provides an overview of the play "The One in the Middle," a comedy romance penned by Virginia Safford Lynn. At [02:05], Keating introduces the main characters:

"Mr. Sule... plays the part of Peter Randolph, a recently returned vet. Ms. Luddy is cast as Franny, a young lady tentatively engaged in the pursuit of higher education."

He further elaborates on the stellar supporting cast, including Bea Benedict as Tabby Randolph and Jane Webb as Jean, ensuring listeners understand the ensemble's depth and talent.

---

Act One: Establishing Characters and Conflict

The play commences with Peter Randolph returning home and being ushered into his sister Tabby Randolph's classroom. At [04:01], Peter humorously observes his newfound "lap of luxury":

"Lap of luxury, no less. Say so. Great Scott."

The interaction between Peter and Tabby sets up the primary conflict: Peter's unexpected appointment as the assistant principal of Randolph Seminary for young ladies. At [05:47], Tabby reveals the school's predicament:

"The school's really on the rocks. Most of the 50 aren't coming back next semester. They're very bored."

Peter, feeling out of place, laments his lack of knowledge in astronomy, the subject he is now tasked to teach. This scenario introduces the comedic tension and Peter's struggle to adapt.

---

Act Two: Developing Relationships and Humor

As Peter attempts to engage his students, the interactions become increasingly humorous. At [07:08], Franny engages Peter with a question about the Big Dipper:

"Mr. Randolph, don't you think the moon's in it?"

Peter's fumbling explanations about astronomy add to the comedic elements, especially when he confesses at [09:21]:

"I can't have that sort of thing going on in my classroom, you know."

The dynamic between Peter and his students, particularly Franny, deepens, highlighting Peter's attempts to connect despite his inexperience.

---

Host Interlude and Product Placement

Throughout the episode, Harold's Old Time Radio seamlessly integrates period-appropriate advertisements, maintaining authenticity. For instance, at [11:00], First Nighter promotes "Italian Balm," a popular hand lotion, aligning with the era's advertising style:

"Italian balm, the famous wintertime lotion that originated years ago in cold Canada."

These interludes provide a nostalgic glimpse into the commercial aspects of 1940s radio programming.

---

Act Three: Rising Tensions and Climax

The plot thickens as Franny's affections for Peter become more evident. At [12:42], during the second act, Franny confesses her embarrassment over a note she wrote in class:

"Mr. Randolph, I just wanted to say I'm awfully embarrassed about that note I wrote in class today."

Their interactions oscillate between awkwardness and budding romance, culminating in a dramatic scene where Franny believes Peter is in danger. At [16:21], she urges him to come to the balcony:

"Come on, hurry. Look. Just look, Mr. Randolph. Where? Up there in the sky. The Big Dipper."

This moment heightens the emotional stakes, blending romance with suspense.

---

Resolution and Conclusion

The play reaches its resolution as Peter and Franny confront their feelings. In the final act, at [28:24], Peter delivers a brief valedictory address:

"Young ladies, what I have to say can be summed up in one word. Goodbye."

The ensuing interaction between Peter and Franny culminates in a heartfelt exchange, symbolizing the triumph of love and understanding.

---

Host Commentary and Farewell

Post-play, Larry Keating reprises his role, inviting listeners to anticipate next week's episode, "Help Wanted Females." At [30:13], he emphasizes the ongoing saga:

"Next week, the little theater off Times Square will present another new play entitled Help Wanted Females. It's packed with suspense and intrigue."

Harold's Old Time Radio concludes the episode with a nod to authenticity, ensuring listeners that the events portrayed were purely fictional.

---

Notable Quotes

1. Larry Keating at [02:05]:

   "That every woman here tonight must have the magic touch. I never saw so much beauty."

2. Peter Randolph at [05:47]:

   "Oh, no, I'm not. Tabby, you're a very nice sister, and I'm Extremely fond of you. But you're not that nice. And I'm not that fond."

3. Franny at [09:50]:

   "Dear Maudie, hasn't he the darlingest wave in his hair?"

4. Franny at [16:35]:

   "Isn't it a beautiful night? You know, some people think that you can see stars reflected in other people's eyes."

5. Peter Randolph at [28:24]:

   "Young ladies, what I have to say can be summed up in one word. Goodbye."

---

Conclusion

The first episode of Harold's Old Time Radio successfully captures the charm and allure of 1940s radio theater. "The One in the Middle" blends humor, romance, and drama, providing listeners with a nostalgic journey into the past. Through engaging storytelling and authentic character interactions, the podcast honors the rich legacy of old-time radio, making it a delightful experience for both seasoned enthusiasts and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Larry Keating]

From taco night in Tulum to sushi in Tokyo, every bite is rewarding and postworthy with MX Gold's 4 times Membership Rewards points at restaurants worldwide. Wherever you dine, points are piling up. So bring your friends along for your next course. Because it's not all about the posts, it's about the company and the memories. How can Gold from Amex sweeten your next food moment? Learn more at americanexpress. Com Explore Gold terms and points Cap Apply.

[First Nighter]

Campana's first night of program from the Little Theater off Times Square. Starring Olin Soule and Barbara Luddy. With an all star cast presented by Campana, the quality name in cosmetics Theater Time Broadway. And on this new Year's night, a new play makes its vow to the public from the stage of the Little Theater off Times Square. It's an exciting event because hosts of celebrities always attend these opening nights on the Great White Way. And to be sure that you miss none of the fun, here's your host for the evening, the genial First Nighter.

[Larry Keating]

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm delighted that you can join our party. The theater is just a few blocks away and here's my cab. Shall we start? All right, driver, to the Little Theater, please. Up Broadway, across 42nd Street. Here was the scene last night of one of the greatest New Year's Eve celebrations in history. The crowds were thick in Times Square and tonight it's by no means deserted. Just ahead now is the Little Theater.

[Franny]

My gracious, that girl must have a magic touch. She's surrounded by photographers.

[Tabby Randolph]

I understand.

[Franny]

We'll all have a magic touch Now. Have your tickets ready, please. Have your tickets ready, please.

[Peter Randolph]

Good evening, Mr. First Nighter.

[Franny]

The usher will show you to your seats.

[Larry Keating]

Thank you. We'll go right in. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're in our seats and I must say as I look over the audience, that every woman here tonight must have the magic touch. I never saw so much beauty. Tonight's play is a comedy romance called the One in the Middle, written by Virginia Safford Lynn and co starring Olin Soule and Barbara Luddy. That sounds like just what the doctor should order for New Year's night. A chance to relax and laugh. Mr. Sule, I see by the program is to play the part of Peter Randolph, a recently returned vet. Ms. Luddy is cast as Franny, a young lady tentatively engaged in the pursuit of higher education. And what an all star supporting cast, including Bea Benedict as Tabby Randolph, Peter Sister, Sandra Gould as Marty, Jane Webb as Jean and other famous Names. But now, before first curtain, let's listen to Frank Wirth and his First Nighter. Orchestra. Curtain.

[Franny]

First curtain. Have you heard about Magic Touch?

[Larry Keating]

There's the signal for first curtain. The house lights are out and here's the play.

[Marty]

Come in.

[Peter Randolph]

I haven't got an apple, but may I come in anyway, Teacher?

[Marty]

For mercy sakes.

[Franny]

Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

Hello, sis. How are you?

[Franny]

Oh, darling.

[Marty]

Peter, I didn't expect you until next week.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, my discharge came through sooner than I expected.

[Marty]

Oh, let me see how you look. Oh, you still look that way.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, stop. Listen, Tabby, could you put me up here at the school for a while?

[Marty]

Well, I could put you in the assistant principal's room down the hall. Come on, bring your suitcase. He's left and we haven't got a new one yet.

[Peter Randolph]

Ah, good old sis.

[Marty]

Elsie, it's really a nice room.

[Peter Randolph]

Lap of luxury, no less. Say so. Great Scott. Sound general quarters. What's that?

[Marty]

The young ladies returning from their daily constitutional.

[Peter Randolph]

Golly. We're going to go.

[Marty]

I'll protect you. Young ladies, less noise, if you please.

[Franny]

Yes, Ms. Randall.

[Marty]

Oh, girls, one moment. I believe this would be an opportune time for you to meet my brother, Peter Randolph. Young ladies, where are your manners?

[Franny]

How do you do, Mr. Randolph?

[Peter Randolph]

Well, how do you do, young ladies?

[Franny]

Oh, Mr. Randolph, it'll be wonderful having you here with us. Oh, it really will. It's our first real break since they put in electrical refrigeration in the Iceman Stop kind of thing.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, thank you.

[Franny]

I think, Mr. Randolph, astronomy is my most favorite subject.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, thank you for telling me.

[Franny]

Oh, thank you for listening.

[Marty]

Young ladies, kindly proceed to your rooms, if you please.

[Franny]

Yes, yes, Mr. Adelop. Goodbye, Mr. Randolph. Goodbye.

[Peter Randolph]

Goodbye. For the love of heaven, Tabby, get inside here quick. They might get loose again.

[Marty]

Peter, do you know what they think?

[Peter Randolph]

No, and don't tell me.

[Marty]

The assistant principal always teaches astronomy.

[Peter Randolph]

And all I can say is, heaven help him, whoever he's going to be.

[Marty]

Peter, dear, I've got news. He's going to be you.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, that's very nice. Hey, wait a minute.

[Marty]

Yes, Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

No, Tabby.

[Marty]

Peter, I didn't write you about this, but the school's really on the rocks.

[Peter Randolph]

How could it be with all those girls?

[Marty]

Well, Most of the 50 aren't coming back next semester. They're very bored. Peter, you'll have to face it. You are the Navy's gift to the Randolph Seminary for young ladies.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, no, I'm not. Tabby, you're a very nice sister, and I'm Extremely fond of you. But you're not that nice. And I'm not that fond.

[Marty]

Now, this is your classroom, Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

But Tabby, I don't know anything about astronomy.

[Marty]

Neither do they. So you'll start even.

[Peter Randolph]

You're asking one poor lone guy to face 50 girls.

[Marty]

Only 2 of the girls take astronomy.

[Peter Randolph]

Only 2? Then why do you have the subject?

[Marty]

Because I think everyone should know astronomy.

[Franny]

It's.

[Marty]

It's very broadening.

[Peter Randolph]

That's what I'm afraid of. Jumping Jupiter. Man the lifeboats.

[Marty]

Oh, for mercy sakes. The entire school now takes astronomy.

[Franny]

Good morning, teacher. Good morning.

[Peter Randolph]

Good morning, students.

[Marty]

Well, I'll leave you to your work. And you've certainly got it.

[Peter Randolph]

Hey. Hey, Tabby, wait. Listen. Young ladies. Thank you. As you know, we are gathered together here to find out all about the romance of the stars.

[Franny]

Mr. Randolph, my favorite star is Ronald Coleman.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, really? Mine's Claudette Cole. But the class will come to order. Please. Are there any questions?

[Franny]

Yes, Ms. Frances Emerson, but everyone calls me Franny. And I do hope that you will too, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Thank you very much. You have a question, Franny?

[Franny]

No, thank you, but I'm sure I will have later.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, now, do we have any textbooks or star maps around here?

[Franny]

My name's Jean Taylor and the books are on your desk. My name's Marty Dexter and there's a star map in back of you.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, what do you know? Just look at all these stars. Now, who can tell me the names of all these stars? On to the next exercise. Now, here's an attractive looking constellation or something.

[Franny]

Mr. Randolph, could that possibly be the Big Dipper?

[Peter Randolph]

Why, Franny, that's very clever of you. Because it is the Big Dipper, I think. And in military circles they call it Ursa Major. Oh, come now, it wasn't that funny. Now, if you'll all please look at the star map over here. We have at the map, girls, please.

[Franny]

Mr. Randolph, don't you think the moon's in it? Hey, Kristen, how's it tracking with Carvana Value tracker. What else? Oh, it's tracking, in fact. Value surge alert. Trucks up 2.5%, vans down 1.7.

[Peter Randolph]

Just as predicted. So we gonna.

[Franny]

I don't know. Could sell.

[Peter Randolph]

Could hold the power to always know our car's worth.

[Franny]

Exhilarating, isn't it? Tracking Always know your car's worth with Carvana value tracker. Best in a canoe on a summer night.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, personally, I never knew they could get the moon into a canoe. Now we'll move on to the subject of eclipses. Now, this is caused by the sun getting in the way of the. Rather, the moon gets between the. Well, suppose we put it this way. When the moon and the sun and the earth, you have the planets if anyone wants them. And now let us take a quick peek at meteors when the. Who's doing the whispering back there? Franny, is that a note you have in your hand?

[Franny]

Well, I, I, I. What did you say? Mr. Randolph?

[Peter Randolph]

I can't have that sort of thing going on in my classroom, you know. Francis Emerson, bring that note to teacher at once.

[Franny]

Yes, Mr. Randolph. Here.

[Peter Randolph]

Yes, thank you. Now, much as I dislike doing this, I shall have to make an example of you, Franny. The note reads as follows. Dear Maudie, hasn't he the darlingest wave in his hair? You may return to your seat, Miss Emerson.

[Franny]

Yes, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Now, here we have a very interesting picture of the sun. Now, let's see what the caption says beneath it. Well, it says, the sun. What are those bells that keep ringing?

[Franny]

They're the bells for all our other classes, Mr. Randolph.

[Larry Keating]

Oh.

[Franny]

Or.

[Peter Randolph]

Class dismissed, girls. Hey, listen, girls. Hey.

[Marty]

Young ladies, proceed at once to your other classes.

[Franny]

Oh, yes, Miss Randolph. Goodbye, Mr. Randolph. Come on, girls.

[Marty]

Apparently, your astronomy class was a howling success. All three hours of it.

[Franny]

They.

[Marty]

Well. Peter. Peter, are you all right?

[Peter Randolph]

No, no. But it's nothing that a few weeks in a psychopathic ward won't cure.

[Larry Keating]

The curtain comes down on the first act of tonight's play in the Little Theater of Times Square.

[Franny]

Smoking in the outer lobby are downstairs only. Please listen next week for news about Magic Touch.

[Larry Keating]

All right. Now I see someone stealthily approaching and as I live, it's Larry Keating.

[First Nighter]

Happy New Year, ladies and gentlemen. And what better time than New Year's night for you ladies to make some beauty resolutions? For example, be it resolved that tomorrow.

[Tabby Randolph]

The first shopping day of the new year, I shall get what so many women say is the finest hand lotion they've ever used. Famous Italian bomb.

[First Nighter]

Yes, your old friend Italian bomb is back again after its absence during the war. So be it resolved that in this.

[Tabby Randolph]

Winter of 1948 I shall protect my skin against wintertime dryness and chapping by using rich, concentrated Italian balm, the famous wintertime lotion that originated years ago in cold Canada. It's so different from thin, watery lotions. It gives such extra good protection.

[First Nighter]

And, ladies, why not protect your pocketbook while you protect the beauty of your hands? For instance, be it resolved that I.

[Tabby Randolph]

Shall save money by buying Italian balm, the famous hand lotion that Sells today at exactly its pre war price.

[First Nighter]

Yes ladies, good dependable Italian bomb offers you the same pre war quality, same pre war quantity, same pre war price. Start using this famous cold weather lotion tomorrow and see how truly soft and smooth your hands can be all winter long.

[Marty]

Curtain.

[Franny]

Yes, you'll learn about magic touch next week.

[Larry Keating]

The first nighters are hurrying down the aisles to their seats. The lights are dimmed and here's the second act of the One in the Middle.

[Franny]

Oh, Mr. Randolph, could I speak to you a minute?

[Peter Randolph]

Why yes, Ms. Franny.

[Franny]

Well, I just wanted to say I'm awfully embarrassed about that note I wrote in class today.

[Peter Randolph]

You're embarrassed? Franny, could we please just forget it ever happened?

[Franny]

Oh, I think it's awfully nice of you to take that attitude, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Yes, as a matter of fact it is very nice of me. I should make you stand in a corner for five minutes. And come to think of it, you look rather cute standing in the corner.

[Franny]

Why, Mr. Randolph, what do you mean?

[Peter Randolph]

I have no idea. Let's just forget about that too, shall we? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to see my sister about something very important. I'm sure.

[Franny]

Oh, I didn't mean to disturb you, Mr. Randolph. I haven't disturbed you, have I, Mr. Randolph?

[Peter Randolph]

Franny, I'm very sorry but you haven't disturbed me in the least.

[Franny]

Oh, well, goodbye, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Goodbye, Franny.

[Franny]

Well, goodbye.

[Peter Randolph]

Goodbye then. Franny. Oh, excuse me girls. Could I get through here please? Pardon me. Will you let me pass? Excuse me, could I open the door? Tabby. What in thunder is that lineup outside your door?

[Marty]

Isn't it Splendid? All 50 girls are signing up for next semester.

[Peter Randolph]

You may now start shopping around for a new assistant principal.

[Marty]

Oh, but Peter, you can't go till next semester. The girls might change their minds.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, well, just how soon does the next semester start?

[Marty]

Why, in no time at all. Just eight weeks from the middle of next month.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, Dabby. Oh no.

[Franny]

We must be losing our grip. We've worked on him now for three weeks. I think he likes the type of girl who could be a real pal to him. Oh, Gene, I think he prefers a cuddly type. I really do. Pete. Mr. Randolph prefers the romantic, poetic type. And remember this girls. As soon as he definitely shows which one he's really interested in, the rest have to lay off and give me a clear field. Hi there, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, hello Jean.

[Franny]

Isn't it a swell day? I bet you're dying for a game of tennis. Of course, with the right partner. I mean, the kind of girl who's nuts about outdoor life and who can play golf and ride and hike even with a cold.

[Peter Randolph]

Jean, would you care to wrestle?

[Franny]

Why yet? Mr. Randolph, where are you going?

[Peter Randolph]

Pardon me while I dash out and rip off a couple of hundred yard sprints.

[Franny]

Oh, Mr. Randolph. Oh, Mr. Randolph.

[Peter Randolph]

No, Marty, no. Now, you know the rules. No staying after class.

[Franny]

But I didn't understand one single thing you told us about astronomy today. Really, I didn't.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, that's okay. I didn't either.

[Franny]

Well, I don't think you realize what a helpless little thing I am.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, yes, I do.

[Franny]

Just look how little and helpless I am. Isn't it awful?

[Peter Randolph]

It's a shame. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have an engagement with a moon about a dog star. Yes, Just a second. Why, good evening, franny.

[Franny]

Good evening, Mr. Randolph. Oh, could you please come out on the balcony, quick.

[Peter Randolph]

Why, what's happened to it?

[Franny]

Come on, hurry.

[Peter Randolph]

Yeah, yeah.

[Franny]

Open the door, quick.

[Marty]

Yeah, yeah, come on, quick.

[Franny]

Look. Just look, Mr. Randall.

[Marty]

Where?

[Peter Randolph]

Where?

[Franny]

Where? Up there in the sky. The Big Dipper.

[Peter Randolph]

What's it doing?

[Franny]

It's the very same one you've been telling us about all these weeks.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, just think of that. Well, thank you very much for the treat. Now shall we go back inside? Franny?

[Franny]

Isn't it a beautiful night? You know, some people think that you can see stars reflected in other people's eyes. Can you see stars reflected in my eyes, Mr. Randolph?

[Peter Randolph]

Well, there seems to be something there all right.

[Franny]

Let me see if they're reflected in your eyes, too.

[Peter Randolph]

No, no, Mine never reflects. Never.

[Franny]

Oh, Mr. Randolph, you've made me so aware of the vastness of eternity. Somehow there's such an awful lot of eternity. It's all so sweet and brief and fleeting.

[Peter Randolph]

You are so right. Here today, gone tomorrow, like.

[Franny]

Isn't it true the bird of time has but a little way to flutter.

[Peter Randolph]

And this bird is on the wing.

[Franny]

But Mr. Man. Oh, dear. Well, thank heaven that's my last class for today. Got anything to eat, Fran? Oh, cheese and crackers. Gimme Saint Jean. Do you know that the cook is making a coconut cake because she's found out he loves coconut cake even though it always makes him sick. Oh, then we could nurse him.

[Marty]

Somehow.

[Franny]

Somehow we three don't seem to be getting anywhere. Well, maybe he's fallen for one of us and is hiding it bravely. Certainly. Why, I can sense it every time he looks at me. Gee, when he looks at me, I don't Sense anything. And the tone of his voice when he speaks to me, the touch of his hand. Wait a minute. When did he ever touch your hand, Freddy? Wednesday morning at 10:33. I was erasing the blackboard and asked him to help me lift the racer. You trying to tell us that he's followed? For you. All right, I'll prove it. This time of afternoon, he always goes for a stroll. When he opens the front door, the three of us will be standing there. And remember, girls, you're on your own.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, hello. Hello. Hello.

[Franny]

Hi, Mr. Randolph. Hello there, Mr. Randolph. Hello, Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

Going somewhere, girls?

[Franny]

Yes, I'm going up that way, and I'm going down this way. I'm going over that way. Which way are you going, Mr. Randolph?

[First Nighter]

Well, I.

[Marty]

Sorry to keep you waiting, Peter. Oh, good afternoon, girls.

[Franny]

Good afternoon, Ms. Randolph.

[Marty]

My brother and I are on our way to the post office. Won't you join us?

[Franny]

Thank you very much. But. But, but. Come on, girls.

[Peter Randolph]

Goodbye, girls. Here, Tabby. Here, let me take the package.

[Marty]

Thanks, Peter. Somehow things don't seem to be working out quite as I'd intended. My idea was to put the school back on its feet, not demoralize it. If you really want to leave before next semester.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, there's no special rush.

[Marty]

Oh, now, don't tell me you're getting interested in one of these girls.

[Peter Randolph]

Okay, then I won't tell you.

[Marty]

Peter, if I hadn't come along just then, which way would you have gone?

[Peter Randolph]

Why, without a moment's hesitation, I'd have gone looking for you.

[Franny]

Marty, give me some cookies. You know, we've still got to find out which one of us it is. If we could only all be in some kind of danger, then he'd rescue one of us. Then we'd know, or at least the rest of you would. Maybe we could sort of get in a rowboat and drown. Just kinda. I mean, how about a runaway horse with all 50 of us on its back? Oh, wait, listen. He's coming down the hall. I know his step. Quick, open the door a crack. Open wider, Jean. I can't see. Oh, doesn't he look darling? Oh, he's wearing that sweet blue polka dot tie again. Girls, I've just had. I've just had a perfectly wonderful idea. Well, wait a second till I have one more look. Oh, my. Okay, close the door and come here. Now, listen, here's my idea.

[Larry Keating]

And the curtain comes down on the second act of tonight's play in the little theater off Times Square.

[Franny]

Smoking downstairs or in the outer lobby only, please. Come again next week, ladies, and hear all about the Magic Touch.

[Larry Keating]

And now, ladies and gentlemen, let me bring you in person, Larry Keating.

[First Nighter]

Ladies, why are your hands so dry tonight, so rough and scratchy?

[Tabby Randolph]

Because in winter, the dry indoors air and cold dry outdoors air and wintry winds all combine to rob my skin of its natural moisture every minute of the day.

[First Nighter]

Right. And what is the best thing, do you think, for that?

[Tabby Randolph]

Well, thousands like myself say Italian balm. This famous lotion puts back moisture into my skin, helps it keep soft and smooth. Does it so quickly, too. The minute Italian balm touches my skin, it feels smooth, more velvety. The action is almost immediate.

[First Nighter]

Have you ever found a lotion that equaled Italian balm in caring for the skin in wintertime?

[Tabby Randolph]

The answer that thousands of women would give to that question is, no, I haven't. Because Italian balm will keep hands free of dryness and chapping, no matter what happens in the way of housework or weather.

[First Nighter]

Yes, Italian balm is a sturdy protector against dryness and chapping. It was born and reared in Canada, North America's coldest climate. Its success there brought it to the United States. And since the day it crossed the border, so many women have said, the.

[Tabby Randolph]

Italian balm never fails me. It has a quality and richness that my skin seems to need when winter comes.

[Franny]

Curtain. The last curtain. And next week hear about Magic Touch.

[Larry Keating]

The first nighters are all in their seats ready for the last act. And there goes the curtain.

[Marty]

Peter, come here into my office. I want to show you something.

[Peter Randolph]

Okay. And then I'm going to bed. What do you want to show me?

[Marty]

These exam papers from various classes. Peter, did you know an hypotenuse equals the distance between Venus and Mars? Or that the Celts were driven into Wales and Cornwall by a shooting star? Or that the recipe for muffins is 2 cups of flour to one half cup of Milky Way? When are you leaving, Peter?

[Peter Randolph]

Yes, I see what you mean. Well, after all, they are just kids.

[Marty]

Oh, yes. Children of 17, 18 and 19.

[Peter Randolph]

Mere babes.

[Marty]

Isn't it odd how fond you've become of teaching? Peter, just between us girls, which one is it?

[Peter Randolph]

Which one? Why, the one in the middle.

[Marty]

All right then, don't tell me. But let me warn you, if you ever single out one girl, it'll probably lead to mass suicide.

[Franny]

Now be quiet, girls, and stand back so I can open the furnace door. Give me the rags and stuff, Gene. Wait a second. Fran. Put just a little more oil on. Oh, wouldn't it be awful if the Register in his room wasn't open. Don't worry. I went in and opened it wide while he was in Ms. Randolph's office. You better give me the matches, Jean. Here, this is going to make lots and lots of lovely smoke. I'll say it does. Close the furnace door, Fran. Let's get back upstairs. Maudie, you and Jean go to your rooms and stay there. Then when Peter comes to rescue me, keep out of his way. Well, I think he'll come to rescue me. I really do. Let the poor girl dream. I'll be the one who'll tell you girls what it was like.

[Marty]

Girls, into the halls. Line up, girls. Maudie, come out of your room.

[Franny]

Open this rain.

[Marty]

Line up, girls. It's just like fire drill. Jean, come out here at once.

[Franny]

Let Miss Rad line up.

[Marty]

Franny, come out into the hall. Or must I brag?

[Franny]

Oh, let Ms. Rad.

[Marty]

All right now, girls, march. One, two, one, two.

[Franny]

Keep your head. Girls, stay an eye. One, two, one, Two.

[Marty]

Is everyone accounted for? Is everyone out of the building?

[Franny]

Yes, Ms. Randolph. We're all out here dog gunning the fire department.

[Marty]

We'll have everything under control in just a moment. Now, everyone stay right here on the lawn.

[Franny]

How could she be so mean? She personally rescued every single girl. What a dirty trick. She spoiled everything. She really did. Girls. Where is he? Ms. Randolph, where's your brother?

[Marty]

Peter? Well, isn't Peter here? Peter, are you here?

[Franny]

Peter? He's been overcome by smoke. He's trapped in his room. Get out of my way. Girls, I'm gonna say, freddy, come back. I'll save him. Girls. Girls, wait for me. I'll save him. Really, I. Girls.

[Marty]

Girls, come back here.

[Franny]

There he is. Chill in bed, overcome with smoke. Quick, Jean, you take his feet. You take his feet. I'll take his head. Doesn't he look, darling in pink and blue stripes? Maudie, get his other shoulder. Now, altogether, lift up. Isn't he wonderful and heavy?

[Peter Randolph]

Hey, hey, hey, what's going on?

[Franny]

Oh, girls.

[Peter Randolph]

Go away.

[Franny]

Don't be frightened, Peter. We're saving you.

[Peter Randolph]

For what?

[Franny]

You've been overcome by smoke.

[Larry Keating]

What?

[Peter Randolph]

Smoke.

[Franny]

Smoke from the. Oh, there isn't any smoke in here. Oh, Peter, how could you? You close your register. Oh. Oh.

[First Nighter]

Oh.

[Peter Randolph]

Well, don't just stand there. Somebody pick me up.

[Marty]

Young ladies, I called you all here to the assembly room this morning. In reference to the most regrettable occurrence of last night. The identity of the three girls involved is known to me. Naturally, they should be expelled. However, I'm willing to be lenient on one Condition? The ringleader of these three must confess.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, now, Tabby, listen.

[Marty]

Sit down, Peter. Well, young ladies, I'm waiting.

[Franny]

I did it, Miss Randolph. Really I did. Oh, no, Ms. Randolph. I am the guilty one. Oh, no, wait. I'm the one, Ms. Randolph. It was my idea.

[Marty]

Yes, Franny, I know it was. Come up here, please. You are to make a public apology to the entire school, my brother and me.

[Franny]

Yes, Ms. Randall. I. I'm sorry.

[Marty]

Thank you, Franny. You may now return to your seat.

[Franny]

Yes, Ms. Randall.

[Marty]

Now, I have an announcement. My brother Peter is leaving us this morning. And I might add that he's doing so at my personal invitation. There will be no demonstration Registration, if you please. After all, I can't have the school burning down every night. Now, Peter, you may make a brief valedictory address if you like.

[Peter Randolph]

Thank you, Tabby. Young ladies, what I have to say can be summed up in one word. Goodbye. I wish I could say it to each of you individually, but time does not allow. So, will one of you girls act as the school's representative? How about you there?

[Marty]

Really?

[Peter Randolph]

No, no, the one in the middle. Will you come up here a moment, please? That's the girl.

[Franny]

Yes, Mr. Randall.

[Peter Randolph]

Stand right there in front of me, please. Raise your head. Now say prunes.

[Franny]

Prunes. Peter. Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

Oh, my.

[Franny]

Oh. Oh, how could you?

[Peter Randolph]

Franny. Here, Franny. Wait a second.

[Marty]

Peter, you come straight back here.

[Franny]

Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

Franny. Franny, where are you? Franny. No. Ah, the balcony. Hello, Juliet.

[Franny]

You go away. Wasn't I humiliated enough without your kissing me?

[Peter Randolph]

Well, I just thought everyone should know which one it is. And has been all the time.

[Franny]

You really mean. Oh, no, you're just saying that.

[Peter Randolph]

Ah, darling, come here.

[Franny]

Oh, no. Now wait. Oh, please. Oh, Peter.

[Peter Randolph]

Strawberry. Ah, you funny, sweet little thing.

[Franny]

Well, that's that, I guess. Oh, wasn't it beautiful the way he said strawberry? Come on, buddy. That's all there is. Here, I'll give you half his blue polka dot tie.

[Larry Keating]

And here she's now, ladies and gentlemen, on the final act of a new play.

[Peter Randolph]

As there's the end of the play.

[Larry Keating]

And Mr. Soleil and Ms. Bloody are getting round after round of applause. Next week, the little theater off Times Square will present another new play entitled Help Wanted Females. It's packed with suspense and intrigue. Be sure to join us next week at this same time. And ladies, the good news is coming. When you tune in next week, you'll hear about Magic Touch. And from that time on, you can have a magic touch at your fingertips. And now we move out of the theater and into the street.

[Peter Randolph]

Your cat, Mr. Furstenider.

[Larry Keating]

Thank you, and happy new year.

[First Nighter]

Campana's first night of program. Starring Barbara Luddy and Odin Soule, is a copyrighted radio feature. Tonight's play was pure fiction and did not refer to real people or actual events. M, that is entrancing.

[Franny]

You mean my perfume?

[First Nighter]

Yes, indeed.

[Franny]

That's very special. Very new, very lovely.

[Tabby Randolph]

It's called Cotton Blossom, an exquisite fragrance.

[Franny]

By Old south toiletries.

[First Nighter]

Cotton Blossom. I'll remember that.

[Franny]

You can get it at better stores. Just ask for Cotton Blossom by Old South.

[Larry Keating]

The first nighter program came to you over cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.