1st Nighter 1953-09-01 Honest Dope

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio — "1st Nighter 1953-09-01 Honest Dope"

Episode Overview

Theme:
This episode features a full performance of "The Honest Dope," a classic radio comedy broadcast on September 1, 1953, as part of the First Nighter program. The show transports listeners to the pre-television era, where families gathered around the radio for comedic and heartwarming stories. "The Honest Dope," written by Ben Starr, stars Olan Soule and Barbara Luddy and explores honesty, self-confidence, and the sometimes unintended consequences of "stretching the truth."

Key Discussion Points and Story Breakdown

1. Setting the Stage (00:54—02:15)

• The "First Nighter" host brings the theater experience to radio, narrating the audience’s entrance into the Little Theater off Times Square and introducing the night’s play and main cast.
• Atmosphere: The prelude creates a charming, nostalgic theater world — “Traffic promises to be heavy tonight, so my cab is waiting. Won’t you step in?” (First Nighter Host, 01:18)

2. Character Introductions and Dilemma (02:29—06:46)

• Main characters:

  • Sally: Young woman deciding between two suitors, Stanley and Harry.
  • Mrs. Miller (Sally’s Mom): Pushes Sally to choose the more assertive Harry.
  • Stanley: Honest, mild-mannered, not as outwardly ambitious.
  • Harry Hopper: Brash and confident coworker, often compared favorably by Mrs. Miller.

• Core conflict: Sally’s mother favors Harry because of his ambition and assertiveness at Wilkins Refrigeration Company, while Sally feels drawn to the honest, gentle Stanley.

• Quote:

  • "Someday Harry will be a big man at Wilkins Refrigeration Company... Stanley’s not aggressive like Harry." (Mrs. Miller, 02:58–03:14)

3. "Stretching the Truth" (06:46–09:01)

• Stanley arrives for his date with Sally, only to be overshadowed by Harry’s gifts and bravado. Sally tries encouraging Stanley to be less honest and more self-promoting to get ahead.
• Quote:
  • “Just because you’re so honest it hurts doesn’t mean everybody’s that way.” (Sally to Stanley, 08:08)

4. The Boxing Match Setup (11:07–13:44)

• Stanley, taking Sally’s advice to “stretch the truth,” boasts of fighting prowess at work. He is roped into representing the white-collar workers in a boxing match at the company picnic, despite little experience.
• Standout Line:
  • “You didn’t stretch it, Stanley. It looks like you pulled it right out of shape.” (Mrs. Miller, 13:55)

5. Training and Self-Doubt (13:44–18:05)

• Stanley admits his lack of fighting ability but revels in newfound status. Efforts to train go poorly—punching the bag makes him dizzy, skipping rope causes nosebleeds.
• Memorable Humor:
  • “I got dizzy from watching the bag spin around.” (Stanley, 17:55)

6. Building Toward the Fight (21:20–23:36)

• On the day of the fight, Sally and Mrs. Miller fret over Stanley’s fate. Stanley, despite being unfit (“I’ve been in bed with a wrenched back.”, 22:26), remains determined, motivated by the high odds against him and a large bet he’s placed on himself.

7. The Fight (26:20–28:35)

• The boxing match is announced. Stanley is knocked down instantly but manages to get back up. In a comedic twist, Stanley tells Harry that his shoelace is untied—Harry ignores him, trips over his lace, and is knocked out.

• Standout Play-by-Play:

  • “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner by a knockout in the first round, the new champ of Wilkins Company, believe it or not, Stanley Higgins.” (First Nighter Host/Narrator, 28:31–28:35)

8. Resolution: Honesty Prevails (29:01–30:15)

• Sally congratulates Stanley but learns his victory was unintentional—he really was just honestly trying to warn Harry about his shoelace.

• Quote:

  • “I told him the truth and he didn’t believe it. So he accidentally tripped on his shoelace and fell into my glove.” (Stanley, 29:17)

• The play ends with Stanley finally proposing, and Sally accepting, reaffirming the value of sincerity.

• Sweet Epilogue:

  • “You sure did, Sally. The first time I laid eyes on your pretty face.” (Stanley, 29:59)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On honesty vs. ambition:

  • “He wasn’t a private. He was a private first class.” (Sally defending Stanley, 03:29)
  • “Sometimes that causes abdominal pains. I read once.” (Stanley, on women ‘stretching the truth,’ 08:40)
  • “Maybe this will enlighten you.” (Stanley, brashly handing over the company paper, 12:54)

• Comedic banter:

  • “When Stanley comes, all you hear is one teeny pip squeak ring just like a mouse.” (Mrs. Miller, 04:11)
  • “Who does the crowd think will win? I don’t know, but everyone’s calling Harry champ.” (Mrs. Miller, 26:01–26:09)

• Misadventures in Training:

  • “I went three rounds this morning and I won all three.” “Whom did you box?” “Mother. Yeah, she’s pretty fast on her feet.” (Stanley and Sally, 23:39–23:45)
  • “Oh, Stanley, if I can knock you out, what’ll Harry do to you?” (Sally, after flattening Stanley during ‘training’, 25:30)

• The Honesty Payoff:

  • “Honesty is the best policy.” (Sally, 29:29)
  • “Oh, that’s what I like. A man who tells the truth.” (Sally, 30:04)

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Description | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------|------------------| | Opening & Theater Atmosphere | Introduction by First Nighter, setup | 00:54–02:15 | | Family Dispute over Suitors | Mrs. Miller pushes Sally toward Harry | 02:29–03:36 | | Sally Encourages Stanley | Sally asks Stanley to be less honest | 08:08–08:24 | | Wilkins Picnic Boxing Match | Stanley gets roped into the fight | 13:07–13:44 | | Training Follies | Stanley’s miserable attempts at exercise | 17:45–18:05 | | Pre-Fight Anxiety | Sally and Mrs. Miller worry about Stanley | 21:20–21:52 | | Stanley’s Betting Gamble | Reveals bet on himself at 50-to-1 odds | 23:03–23:09 | | The Fight | Shoelace trick leads to fluke knockout | 26:20–28:35 | | Resolution & Proposal | Honest victory, marriage proposal success | 29:01–30:15 |

Tone and Style

The episode maintains a light, comedic, and slightly sentimental tone throughout, just as classic radio plays did. Character voices are exaggerated for comedy, and gentle ribbing moves the narrative forward.

Notable:

• Mrs. Miller’s quips and sarcasm drive the humor.
• Stanley’s earnest, literal-minded honesty is both his flaw and his virtue.

Final Thoughts

"1st Nighter: Honest Dope" stands out as a charming example of 1950s radio comedy, blending wit, slapstick, and romantic tension. The story ultimately champions honesty, suggesting that authenticity—no matter how awkward—wins out over bluster and bravado. Stanley’s accidental triumph and honest proposal underscore the play’s enduring message.

For fans of old radio or newcomers alike, this episode is a nostalgic, thoroughly entertaining listen, transporting audiences back to a golden age of family radio drama and laughter.

Transcript

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[Narrator]

NBC presents the First Nighter program starring Nolan Soule and Barbara Ludd. Theater time on the Great White Way. And once again, ladies and gentlemen, we're about to attend the premiere of a new show at the little theater off Times Square. And here is our host for the evening, the genial first nighter.

[First Nighter Host]

Good evening. Traffic promises to be heavy tonight, so my cab is waiting. Won't you step in? All right, driver, to the Little theater of Broadway, across 42nd street, past Gay crowds and twinkling signs, into the hallway of theater Land. There ahead is the little theater off Times Square. Well, here we are. Have your tickets ready, please.

[Narrator]

Good evening, Mr. First Natter. The usher will show you to your seats.

[First Nighter Host]

Thank you. We'll go right in. Tonight's play is a bright and broad comedy entitled the Honest Dope by Ben Starr, starring Olan Sule and Barbara Ludy, featuring Verna Felton and High Averback, and is produced and directed by Joseph Da Curtain.

[Harry Hopper]

First Curtain.

[First Nighter Host]

There's the signal for First Curtain. The house lights are out. And here's the play.

[Mrs. Miller]

My Sally, don't you look pretty.

[Sally]

Thanks, Mom. Got a date tonight?

[Mrs. Miller]

With Harry?

[Sally]

No, with Stanley.

[Mrs. Miller]

Oh, that dope?

[Sally]

But don't talk like that, Mom. Stanley has his points.

[Mrs. Miller]

I know. One of them is his head.

[Sally]

Now, mom, please. You know that I've been going with Stanley ever since he was a little boy.

[Mrs. Miller]

That's just it. Don't you think you should start keeping company with men now? Now, take Harry Hopper.

[Sally]

He's nothing but a big, overstuffed, conceited braggart.

[Mrs. Miller]

Sally, you can't deny that someday Harry will be a big man at Wilkins Refrigeration Company.

[Sally]

Well, Stanley works at Wilkins. Someday he'll be a big man there, too. It isn't Stanley's fault if he's not aggressive like Harry.

[Mrs. Miller]

That's hardly the word for it. Stanley and Harry both went into the army at the same time. And what happened? Harry came out a captain. And after four years, Stanley came out a full fledged private.

[Sally]

That's not true. He wasn't a private. He was a private first class.

[Mrs. Miller]

Honey, I like Stanley. He's a very nice boy. It's just that I like to see you make a good marriage.

[Sally]

But mom, it isn't fair to blame Stanley. It's just that he's so blamed honest. Oh, I suppose he could have got himself a few raises by now if he asserted himself more and sort of put on a little front.

[Mrs. Miller]

That's it exactly, dear. Why, the way Harry struts around town, you think he owned Wilkins factory. And the way Stanley crawls around, you think he was carrying it. That's Stanley.

[Sally]

How do you know?

[Mrs. Miller]

Well, when Harry comes here, he rings the bell like a man four or five times and he bangs on the door. And when Stanley comes, all you hear is one teeny pip squeak. Ring just like a mouse.

[Sally]

Just because Stanley doesn't break the door down.

[Mrs. Miller]

Break the door down? Ha. Why, Stanley couldn't break a wet cracker that's been sitting overnight in a cup of tea and hot tea.

[Sally]

You're just upset because Stanley doesn't bring you chocolates like Harry.

[Mrs. Miller]

Sally, I'll bet you a box of chocolates that Stanley will stay outside that door all evening and not ring the bell again.

[Sally]

All right, It's a bit.

[Mrs. Miller]

Don't forget I like the kind with almonds.

[Sally]

Oh, all right, you win.

[Mrs. Miller]

Well, well, well, if it isn't st. Stanley, dear. I was just telling Sally how nice it is to have you drop around.

[Stanley Higgins]

Thank you, Mrs. Miller. I've got something for you.

[Mrs. Miller]

A box of chocolates?

[Stanley Higgins]

No, the evening paper. It was lying out on the front steps.

[Mrs. Miller]

Oh, thank you, Stanley. I won't forget this. Will you children excuse me? I think I'll go and have myself a headache.

[Stanley Higgins]

Gee, Sally, you look pretty.

[Sally]

So do you. I mean, thank you, Stanley. Shall we start for the movie?

[Stanley Higgins]

Well, if you don't mind, Sally, there's something I'd like to ask you first.

[Sally]

Well, go ahead, Stanley, ask me.

[Stanley Higgins]

Would you please sit on your sofa? I have to ask it. There, that's where everybody asks it.

[Sally]

All right, I'm sitting. Go ahead, ask it.

[Stanley Higgins]

Sally. Sally, we've known each other ever since we were seven.

[Sally]

No, Stanley, since we were six. Remember? We met at your birthday party the day you Shoved my face in your cake.

[Stanley Higgins]

That's right. Seven was when I caught poison ivy and I passed it to your mother. Well, Sally, what I want to ask is. Sally. Sally, I'd like to know if.

[Mrs. Miller]

Is everybody deaf? Can't you hear the doorbell? Sally, what are you doing on the floor on one knee? Did you lose a penny?

[Stanley Higgins]

I. Sally, Maybe I'd better wait for another time.

[Sally]

No, Stanley, please ask me.

[Harry Hopper]

Hello, Sal gal. What in the dickens? Stanley, what are you doing on one knee? Shoe shine boy.

[Mrs. Miller]

Oh, Sally, look at what Harry brought me. A great big box of my favorite chocolates.

[Stanley Higgins]

Oh, nuts.

[Mrs. Miller]

How'd you know?

[Sally]

Mom, would you and Harry please wait on the porch a few minutes?

[Harry Hopper]

Anything for you, Sal Gal. Besides, I always said I wish your mom was a few years younger. Hey, Mrs. Miller. Huh?

[Mrs. Miller]

Now, Harry, I'm old enough to be your. Your mother in law.

[Harry Hopper]

Oh, now, come on, mom, tell me the truth. Weren't you the second girl from the ride in the Ziegfeld Follies? Now, weren't you?

[Sally]

Go on, Stanley. Stanley, I said go on.

[Stanley Higgins]

Sally, I didn't know your mother was a Follies girl.

[Sally]

Oh, Stanley, Harry was just kidding.

[Stanley Higgins]

But he said she would.

[Sally]

Stanley, must you believe what everybody says? Just because you're so honest it hurts doesn't mean everybody's that way.

[Stanley Higgins]

Sally, you aren't suggesting that I lie?

[Sally]

No, but sometimes it might not hurt to sort of stretch the truth a little.

[Stanley Higgins]

No good ever came from cheating.

[Sally]

Well, it's not exactly cheating. It's like when a fat woman wears a girdle. She takes what she has and sort of stretches a little here and a little there. Look what she can accomplish.

[Stanley Higgins]

Sometimes that causes abdominal pains. I read once.

[Sally]

Oh, Stanley.

[Stanley Higgins]

Sally, where are you going?

[Sally]

Harry, would you like to take me to the movies?

[Harry Hopper]

Oh, would I, Sal Gal?

[Stanley Higgins]

But, Sally, you had a date with me and I have an ass.

[Harry Hopper]

I just bought a new car.

[Sally]

A new car? Can you afford it?

[Harry Hopper]

No, but I can't ask for a raise.

[Sally]

It'll be a pleasure to go out with a man who goes after what he wants. Shall we leave, Harry?

[Harry Hopper]

You'll know you've been out with a sport tonight. We'll sit in the load. You. Sal Gal.

[Stanley Higgins]

Darn it. And I was about to ask Sally an important question.

[Mrs. Miller]

Well, ask me, Stanley. Maybe I know the answer.

[Stanley Higgins]

Well, I'm afraid It wouldn't do, Mrs. Miller.

[Mrs. Miller]

Oh, don't be silly, Stanley. Go ahead, ask me.

[Stanley Higgins]

All right, but it won't be the same. Mrs. Miller.

[Sally]

Yes?

[Stanley Higgins]

Will you marry me?

[First Nighter Host]

And the Curtain comes down on the first actress that I play in the little theater off Times Square. Smoking in the outer lobby or downstairs, please. Smoking in the outer lobby or downstairs, please. Ladies and gentlemen, here is Vincent Pelletier with an important message.

[Narrator]

Friends, I'd like to take a moment here to remind you about some of the great entertainment that's in store for you on NBC radio each Wednesday evening. You'll be delighted with the wonderful humor of my son Jeep. This pleasant family comedy is sure to work its way right into your heart. So make it a date to hear my son Jeep, Wednesday evenings on most NBC stations. Then other wonderfully entertaining shows. Each Wednesday includes the Best of Groucho, featuring the finest programs from Groucho Marx's you Bet yout Life series. Then there's the Great Gildersleeve with Water Commissioner Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve and the Scarlet Pimpernel starring Marius Goring in thrilling stories of the French Revolution. These great programs, my son Jeep, the Best of Groucho, the Great Gildersleeve and the Scarlet Pimpernel provide an evening packed with the best radio listening. So remember, for the finest of all radio entertainment, be sure to keep your dial set right here to NBC radio. Curtain, second curtain.

[First Nighter Host]

First night is a hurrying down the aisles to their seats. The lights are dimmed. And here's the second act of the Honest Dope.

[Mrs. Miller]

Sally Diachira. After all, you've got a date with a charming gentleman tonight.

[Sally]

Oh, no, Mom. I'm going out with Harry.

[Mrs. Miller]

That's who I meant.

[Sally]

We're taking a long drive in his new car and I'm a little worried.

[Mrs. Miller]

What about?

[Sally]

The car has an automatic clutch and so is Harry.

[Mrs. Miller]

Well, dear, times haven't changed so much since I was a girl.

[Sally]

I'm worried, Mom. I haven't heard from Stanley since I broke my date with him. He always used to come back when I mistreated him.

[Mrs. Miller]

Don't worry, he'll come back. He probably forgot where you lived.

[Sally]

It's unusual because the Wilkins Company is having its annual picnic next week. And Stanley always takes me to that.

[Mrs. Miller]

Well, I'm sure Harry will be glad to take you.

[Sally]

Mom, I want to go with Stanley. I can't help it. I love him.

[Mrs. Miller]

We'll talk about this later. I'll go let Harry in. What?

[Sally]

Why did Stanley.

[Stanley Higgins]

That's right, Sal Gal.

[Sally]

And there's a cigar in your mouth.

[Mrs. Miller]

It's even lighted.

[Stanley Higgins]

Yep. They were all out at you and tobacco.

[Mrs. Miller]

Stanley, I thought that was Harry at the door. Your ring Is usually so shy and timid.

[Stanley Higgins]

Well, it's no longer tie and shimid. I mean shy and timid.

[Sally]

Stanley, dear, do you feel all right?

[Mrs. Miller]

Why don't you sit down, Stanley? Maybe you're tired from ringing the doorbell so much.

[Stanley Higgins]

Did Jack Dempsey ever get tired?

[Mrs. Miller]

No, but I don't see the connection.

[Stanley Higgins]

Well, maybe this will enlighten you.

[Sally]

Ladies, it's the Wilkins Company newspaper. What's this got to do with your actions, Stanley?

[Narrator]

Turn to page two.

[Stanley Higgins]

Sal Gal.

[Sally]

Oh, no.

[Stanley Higgins]

Oh, yes.

[Mrs. Miller]

Oh, what?

[Sally]

Listen to this. The annual Wilkins Company picnic this year should be a great success. In addition to the regular amusements, there will be a 10 round boxing match. The winner will receive $100 and the referee will be our own Mr. Wilkins himself. As yet, the white collar workers have not chosen their man. But the mechanical department thinks it has a winner in its corner. Mr. Stanley Slugger Higgins.

[Mrs. Miller]

Well, Stanley, don't just stand there. Get right over to the newspaper office. What for, Mrs. Miller to deny this misprint?

[Stanley Higgins]

Of course it's not a misprint. I am going to fight.

[Sally]

Stanley, how in the world did you get into this mess?

[Stanley Higgins]

Oh, it was easy. I just followed your advice.

[Sally]

My advice?

[Stanley Higgins]

Sure. Don't you remember? You said I'd get along a lot better if I stretched the truth a little.

[Mrs. Miller]

You didn't stretch it, Stanley. It looks like you pulled it right out of shape.

[Sally]

Stanley, you're liable to get hurt.

[Mrs. Miller]

Liable to. Stanley, is your mother home?

[Stanley Higgins]

I believe so. Why?

[Mrs. Miller]

I think I'll go call her and let her know that no matter what happens, I'll stay with her for a few days after the fight.

[Stanley Higgins]

Hi. Guess your mother doesn't think I can win. Sal Gal.

[Sally]

Stanley. Higgins, stop calling me Sal Gal. I want to have a talk with you.

[Stanley Higgins]

Go ahead. Sally, how did you happen to get.

[Sally]

Rooked into this fight?

[Stanley Higgins]

Well, I got to thinking about what you said the other day. You know, how honest I was and all that. Well, yesterday some of the men were discussing the picnic and the fight and I got to talking. I told him about a fight I once had. First thing I knew, I was in.

[Sally]

A fight you once had? How old were you at the time?

[Stanley Higgins]

12.

[Sally]

Just because you won a fight when you were 12 doesn't mean you can still fight.

[Stanley Higgins]

Oh, I didn't win. I lost. As a matter of fact, the other kid almost knocked my head off. And I outweighed him, too.

[Sally]

Stanley, you'll get murdered.

[Stanley Higgins]

Maybe, but it sure feels good to be a big shot. You know, I've never had that feeling before everybody stops me and says hello just like I'm somebody. Why, this morning Mr. Wilkins almost smiled at me.

[Sally]

I think, Stanley, when I said for you to stretch the truth, I didn't mean for you to go this far.

[Stanley Higgins]

Gee, Sally, I've never lied in my life. I don't know how.

[Sally]

Well, you're certainly learning in a hurry.

[Stanley Higgins]

Well, all I wanted to do was to impress the boys. I wanted to tell a little lie. So I opened my mouth and you know what? The darndest things came out. Pro Savings days are back at Lowe's. Mylo's Pro Rewards members save even more with limited time doorbuster deals save $5 on 24 count contractor's choice 42 gallon trash bags now just $14.78 plus get your choice. Select Dewalt Elite series saw blades for $9.98. Not a pro Rewards member. Join for free today at Lowe's. Valid through 917. Selection varies by location while supplies last loyalty program subject to terms and conditions. See Lowes.com terms for details.

[Harry Hopper]

Subject to change.

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[Stanley Higgins]

Anyway. I did it all for you, Stanley.

[Mrs. Miller]

That.

[Sally]

That was sweet. And. And I want you. I'll always remember you just as you were before the fight.

[Mrs. Miller]

Your mother wasn't home, Stanley, but I called a few other people. Mr. And Mrs. Brown said to tell you goodbye.

[Stanley Higgins]

I don't know why you people have my goose cooked. I've been training.

[Sally]

You mean you've been shadow boxing? Running in the park?

[Stanley Higgins]

No, but I've read all the fight stories I could get my hands on.

[Mrs. Miller]

Well, that. That's good training. If you want to write stories, Stanley.

[Sally]

You have to learn to punch the bag.

[Stanley Higgins]

I tried it the other day, but I had to stop.

[Sally]

Why?

[Stanley Higgins]

I got dizzy from watching the Bag spin around.

[Mrs. Miller]

Well, then maybe you should skip rope.

[Stanley Higgins]

My nose bleeds when I jump up and down.

[Sally]

Well, there's one thing you can do. You can take that silly cigar out of your mouth. Your face is turning green.

[Stanley Higgins]

Yeah, now that you mention it, I did feel a little seasick. You think I overdid this lying business?

[Mrs. Miller]

We'll know better after the fight.

[Stanley Higgins]

Sally, now that I'm here, I may as well ask you the question I've been trying to.

[Sally]

Yes, Stanley.

[Stanley Higgins]

Yeah. Now just a minute, Sally.

[Mrs. Miller]

The marines. I'll go.

[Sally]

Hurry up, Stanley. Ask me.

[Stanley Higgins]

Sally.

[Sally]

Yes, Stanley.

[Harry Hopper]

Hello, Sal gal. Stanley, don't tell me you're still on the same knee. You'll get blisters, boy.

[Mrs. Miller]

Now, Harry. Harry, you and Sally ought to get started on your date.

[Sally]

Just a minute, Mom. Stanley wants to ask me something.

[Mrs. Miller]

Sally. What's new, Harry?

[Harry Hopper]

Well, say, mom, did you hear about the moron who drowned himself?

[Sally]

No.

[Harry Hopper]

He wanted to get into the swim of things.

[Mrs. Miller]

Yes.

[Narrator]

Now, look here, Harry.

[Stanley Higgins]

I have something important to ask Sally, so would you kindly be quiet?

[Harry Hopper]

Well, take it easy, Tarzan. Save that stuff for the ring.

[Stanley Higgins]

Oh, you know.

[Harry Hopper]

Sure I do. I read the company paper. By the way, the white collar workers were swamped with applications. When everyone saw you were the opponent.

[Sally]

Did they pick one?

[Harry Hopper]

Oh, yes. Stanley. Better start praying because this guy will murder him.

[Stanley Higgins]

Is that so? Who is he?

[Sally]

Me.

[First Nighter Host]

And the curtain comes down on the second act of tonight's play in the little theater off Times Square. Downstairs are in the outer lobby, please. And here, ladies and gentlemen, once more, Vincent Pelletier.

[Narrator]

Friends, if you want your child to have the best elementary schooling you can give him, won't you get a pencil and paper and take down the address I'm going to give you at the end of this message? Unless we start preparing now, in a few years our public schools will be as behind the times as the little red schoolhouse. You see, because of the huge increase in our birth rate during and after the last war, it's estimated that by 1956 there will be some 7 million more children in elementary schools than there are now. Naturally, we must start preparing at once. More equipment will be needed. Textbooks, playgrounds, and above all, more elementary school teachers. To help assure your child a proper education, join and work with local groups and school boards. And for free information about how people in other communities are improving their schools, write to this address, National Citizens Commission for The Public Schools, 2 West 45th Street, New York. 19 New York. That's National Citizens Commission for the Public Schools, 2 West 45th street, New York, 19. New York. Curtain.

[First Nighter Host]

Last curtain. There's the signal for the last curtain. The house lights are out, and here's the play.

[Mrs. Miller]

Sally. Sally, come on.

[Sally]

I'm coming.

[Mrs. Miller]

Hurry up, dear. You'll be late for the funeral. I mean the fight.

[Sally]

Oh, Mom, I'm so worried Harry will tear Stanley apart.

[Mrs. Miller]

He won't tear him apart. Oh, of course. He might grind him up a little.

[Sally]

Oh, Mom. And it's all my fault.

[Mrs. Miller]

Nonsense. We all have to go sometime.

[Sally]

Mom, I'm going to Stanley. I want to be with him as much as I can.

[Mrs. Miller]

Oh, all right. Go ahead. I'll see you at the picnic ground.

[Stanley Higgins]

One, two. One, two, one.

[Sally]

Stanley.

[Stanley Higgins]

Oh, hello, Sally.

[Sally]

Stanley, what are you training for now, Two hours before the fight?

[Stanley Higgins]

I have to. I didn't train all week.

[Sally]

Why not?

[Stanley Higgins]

I've been in bed with a wrenched back.

[Sally]

Oh, dear. How'd you wrench your back?

[Stanley Higgins]

I fell out of a tree.

[Sally]

What were you doing in a tree, for heaven's sake?

[Stanley Higgins]

I was exercising by swinging on a branch and the branch broke.

[Sally]

Stanley, this is terrible. Harry's a better fighter. He's had some experience. And now you have to be sick.

[Stanley Higgins]

Don't worry, Sally. Harry really has only one advantage over me.

[Sally]

What's that?

[Stanley Higgins]

I can't fight.

[Sally]

Stanley, there's only one thing to do. You will have to back out of the fight.

[Stanley Higgins]

Oh, I couldn't do that. Besides, I'd lose too much money if I did.

[Sally]

What money?

[Stanley Higgins]

The money I bet on myself to win.

[Sally]

Stanley, you didn't. How could you possibly bet on yourselves?

[Stanley Higgins]

Sally? The odds were so big, I couldn't pass it up. They're up to 50 to 1 against me.

[Sally]

I can see there's no time to lose. We have to get you in shape. Do you have enough strength to last the fight?

[Stanley Higgins]

Sure. I just ate a big meal.

[Sally]

You think that was.

[Stanley Higgins]

Why, of course it was Mother's cooking.

[Sally]

Have you sparred with anyone to get in shape?

[Stanley Higgins]

I went three rounds this morning and I won all three.

[Sally]

Well, that's wonderful. Whom did you box?

[Stanley Higgins]

Mother. Yeah, she's. She's pretty fast on her feet.

[Sally]

Oh, dear, I. I wish a hurricane or something would break loose so they'd cancel the picnic.

[Stanley Higgins]

You don't seem to have much confidence in me, Sally.

[Sally]

It's not that, Stanley. I. Sure, I have confidence in you. Why, look at that chest.

[Stanley Higgins]

Thanks, Sally.

[Sally]

And those biceps. You'll beat Harry easily.

[Stanley Higgins]

You really think so?

[Sally]

Stanley, all you have to do to win is to keep telling yourself how good you are. You know Sort of stretch the truth a little.

[Stanley Higgins]

Yeah, you're right. I feel better already. It wouldn't surprise me if this fight ended in a knockout.

[Sally]

It wouldn't surprise me either.

[Stanley Higgins]

Go ahead, Sally. Go ahead. Hit me.

[Sally]

Huh?

[Stanley Higgins]

I said hit me.

[Sally]

No, no, Sally, I'm afraid.

[Stanley Higgins]

No, I'll show you how I can take it. Go ahead.

[Sally]

Well, all right. Ready? Mm. Here I come. Stanley. Stanley. Oh, my. He's unconscious.

[Stanley Higgins]

What happened?

[Sally]

I hit you.

[Stanley Higgins]

With what?

[Sally]

Well, I just doubled up my fist and hit you right there.

[Stanley Higgins]

Oh, never mind, Joe. Lois, don't show me.

[Sally]

Stanley, I'm afraid you have a glass jaw.

[Stanley Higgins]

I have? Well, look inside and see what you broke. Oh, no. Now don't cry, Sally. He won't lay a glove on me.

[Sally]

Oh, Stanley, if I can knock you out, what'll Harry do to you? I'm so worried.

[Stanley Higgins]

That makes two of us.

[Mrs. Miller]

Sally. Sally.

[Sally]

Here I am.

[Mrs. Miller]

Over here.

[Sally]

Mom. Mom, I watched Stanley train today.

[Mrs. Miller]

Well, how did he look?

[Sally]

Oh, mom.

[Mrs. Miller]

That's what I thought. Mom.

[Sally]

Mom, have you been able to pick up any gossip about the fight? Who does the crowd think will win?

[Mrs. Miller]

I don't know, but everyone's calling Harry champ.

[Sally]

I. I told him, Stanley, to act tough. Maybe he can fool Harry.

[Mrs. Miller]

If he can, it'll be the biggest thing since 3D.

[First Nighter Host]

Attention, attention.

[Narrator]

The boxing match is about to begin.

[First Nighter Host]

It'll be a 10 round fight to the finish.

[Sally]

What does he mean a fight to the finish?

[Mrs. Miller]

With Stanley in there, I can imagine.

[Sally]

Hold on. My knees are shaking. That's nothing, dear.

[Mrs. Miller]

Just imagine what Stanley's knees are doing at this minute.

[Sally]

Look, there's Harry in the ring. Ooh, he's pretty big, isn't he?

[Mrs. Miller]

Yes, isn't he?

[Sally]

There's Stanley. He's sort of. Sort of.

[Mrs. Miller]

Yes, isn't he?

[Sally]

You know, there really isn't much difference in their height and weight. It just that Harry seems to have all these. His weight bunched up in muscles and.

[Mrs. Miller]

Stanley just seems to have all his weight bunched up.

[First Nighter Host]

Ladies and gentlemen, the fight is about to begin. There it is. Both fighters moving slowly. They're sort of feeling each other out. Harry, let's go with a very light left.

[Narrator]

And Stanley is down.

[Harry Hopper]

The count is two, three.

[First Nighter Host]

Stanley is moving.

[Stanley Higgins]

Four, five.

[First Nighter Host]

He's up on one knee. Six, seven.

[Narrator]

Well, I'll be doggone. He's crawling around the ring.

[First Nighter Host]

Eight, nine. And Stanley is up.

[Sally]

Stanley, stay down and rest.

[Mrs. Miller]

But dear, if he rests after the count of him, he may as well go to sleep.

[First Nighter Host]

Harry seems to be having trouble landing another Punch.

[Narrator]

Stanley is running away too fast.

[Stanley Higgins]

Harry, your shoelace is untied.

[Harry Hopper]

Oh, no, Stanley, not that old trick.

[Narrator]

Harry needs.

[First Nighter Host]

Forward towards Stanley.

[Stanley Higgins]

Oh, he's down.

[First Nighter Host]

Well, what do you know?

[Narrator]

3, 4, 5, 6.

[Stanley Higgins]

Unlike a light.

[First Nighter Host]

7, 8, 9, 10.

[Narrator]

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner by a knockout in the first round, the new.

[First Nighter Host]

Champ of Wilkins Company, believe it or not, Stanley Higgins.

[Sally]

Certainly. It's a beautiful night, isn't it, Stanley?

[Stanley Higgins]

Uh huh.

[Sally]

You see, my advice did help you after all.

[Stanley Higgins]

What do you mean?

[Sally]

Well, I heard you tell Harry his shoelace was untied. That was using your head.

[Stanley Higgins]

But his shoelace really was untied.

[Sally]

What? You mean it wasn't a trick?

[Stanley Higgins]

Of course not. I told him the truth and he didn't believe it. So he accidentally tripped on his shoelace and fell into my glove.

[Sally]

Oh, Stanley, I guess you were right after all. Honesty is the best policy.

[Stanley Higgins]

Yeah? Then I want you to be honest with me. Sally, all week now, I've been trying to get an answer from you. I don't have a sofa here, but will you marry me?

[Sally]

Yes, I will. Chance.

[Narrator]

Tickles.

[Sally]

Remember one thing though. You may be champ, but I knocked you out.

[Stanley Higgins]

You sure did, Sally. The first time I laid eyes on your pretty face.

[Sally]

Oh, that's what I like. A man who tells the truth.

[First Nighter Host]

There it is, ladies and gentlemen, the premier performance of what looks like a new hip play on the Great White Way at the Little Theater off Times Square. Ms. Luddy and Mr. Soule are taking vows now. They're joined by Verna Felton, hi Aberback. And Paul Dubov. Now the audience is giving them a great ovation. Next week, join us again and bring your friends for a mystery appearance of Murder. I saw one of the rehearsals and it's one of the best of its kind I've seen. Scene, but don't miss it. Next week at this same time now we move out of the theater and into the street.

[Narrator]

Here's your cab, Mr. First Nighter.

[First Nighter Host]

Thank you. Good night.

[Narrator]

Friends, if you like heartstrings in your stories, be sure to read about Barbara Luddy and her wonderful family in the October issue of radio, TV, Mirror magazine, which will be on your newsstands September 9th. The first nighter program, a copyrighted radio feature, is an NBC Radio Network production starring Barbara Luddy and Olin Soule. The part of the First Nighter is played by Rye Bilsbury. Tonight's play was pure fiction and did not refer to real people or actual events. Tonight, Dragnet returns to the air on NBC.

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