Episode Summary: "Chips for the Fishmonger"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Air Date: February 15, 2026
Original Radio Date: May 20, 1965
Episode: 33 Half Moon Street – “Chips for the Fishmonger”

Main Theme

This episode delivers a classic detective caper wrapped in the unique odd-jobs premise of Assignments Unlimited. When a French exhibitor requests a night watchman for a preserved whale, a simple gig soon entangles the investigators in a case of Russian defectors, murder, disguise, and arson. Set firmly in the mid-20th century radio drama tradition, the episode blends suspense, humor, and social commentary, evoking the atmosphere of the golden age of radio.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Unusual Assignment (01:00–03:05)

• Aubrey Mason introduces the latest job: assigning Cannon as a night watchman over a preserved Greenland whale for the Frenchman, Monsieur Paul Duclair.
  • “The nervous little old Frenchman who came into my office requested the services of our organization for a task which was mundane in application and only unusual in a theatrical sense.” (02:31, Aubrey Mason)
• Duclair explains the whale’s preparation process—its exhibition history in France, the method of preservation, and the security risks posed by vandals.
  • “An exhibit of this nature is prey to vandals, monsieur.” (04:38, Monsieur Paul Duclair)

2. Cannon on the Job (06:11–08:00)

• Cannon finds humor and inconvenience in his assignment, bantering with Mason and showing skepticism at the task’s oddity.
  • “Just my luck to get a job playing nursemaid to an oversized kipper.” (06:23, Cannon)
  • “Yeah, yeah, and everybody's having a whale of a time.” (06:34, Cannon)

3. Strange Noises in the Night (08:28–09:52)

• Cannon hears a scream, suspects mischief, and investigates the whale’s interior, suspecting vandals.
  • “That was a scream. And it didn’t come from a dead whale.” (08:32, Cannon)

4. Political Defectors in a Whale (09:52–13:45)

• Cannon discovers two Russians, Anoushka and Mikhail, inside the whale. They are dancers from the “Mosyev” (Moiseyev) troupe, seeking to vanish and escape Soviet authorities by stowing away to America.
  • “No sir. We are Russians.” (09:58, Anoushka)
  • “It was our intention to stay hidden inside the whale until it reached the United States.” (12:06, Mikhail)
• The Russians recount their desperate plan for political asylum and the risk posed by Soviet secret police.
  • "The Russian secret police do not take kindly to escapists." (13:12, Mikhail)

5. Murder Most Foul (14:25–16:00)

• Anoushka trips over a corpse inside the whale, a dead man with a knife in his heart preserved by the formaldehyde.
  • “There is the body of a man with a knife through his heart.” (14:25, Anoushka)
  • “One look at the dejected and terrified faces of the two young folk dancers was enough to convince Cannon that they at least were on the level.” (14:35, Aubrey Mason)

6. Covering Tracks & Fateful Fire (17:01–19:52)

• Cannon and Mason work to hide evidence of the refugees’ presence. A forgotten burning candle inside the whale's flammable shell causes a catastrophic fire, destroying the exhibit and all physical evidence, including the corpse.
  • “You left a candle burning? … That fish is more inflammable than an oil refinery.” (18:44, Cannon)
  • “Well, it looks like my first job as a night watchman got off to a bad start.” (19:12, Cannon)

7. Suspicions & Insurance (20:02–22:11)

• Mason and Cannon debate Duclair’s reaction to the fire, suspecting he may have wanted the whale—and the evidence within—destroyed.
  • “It’s maybe the way he looked at that fire. He was enjoying it. Seemed like he was hoping the thing would be destroyed.” (20:05, Cannon)
• Duclair requests a statement for insurance purposes, stating the exhibit was well insured.
  • “The exhibit was well insured and I shall suffer no financial loss.” (21:41, Monsieur Paul Duclair)

8. Unmasking the Culprit (23:42–26:43)

• Mason’s questioning and the Russians’ recognition reveal that "Duclair" is actually the former caretaker, the real Duclair being the murdered man.
  • “When Duclair arrived, they recognized him immediately. Not as Duclair but as the old caretaker.” (25:15, Aubrey Mason)
• Motive: jealousy and financial benefit. The imposter planned to dump the whale (with body) at sea and collect insurance, but couldn’t risk returning to France.
  • “He murdered his boss and left his body inside the exhibit. Later, all evidence would have been removed when the whale was dumped in the Atlantic.” (26:23, Aubrey Mason)

9. Aftermath & Epilogue (26:43–end)

• Mason prepares to help the Russian dancers’ emigration.
• The “fishmonger” (the caretaker/impersonator) gets his “chips” (justice), bringing the tale full circle.
  • “Well, there you are. That's how the fishmonger had his chips.” (26:55, Aubrey Mason)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Cannon’s dry humor about his ‘nursemaid’ job:

  • “Just my luck to get a job playing nursemaid to an oversized kipper.” (06:23)

• Comic misunderstanding and detective skepticism:

  • “It knocks through the heart. Do you know this man?” (15:33, Cannon)
  • “The formalda—I must have seeped into him. He’s well preserved.” (15:42, Cannon)

• On Soviet pursuit:

  • “The Russian secret police do not take kindly to escapists.” (13:12, Mikhail)

• On the disaster sparked by carelessness:

  • “You left a candle burning? … That fish is more inflammable than an oil refinery.” (18:44, Cannon)

• Final punchline and episode wrap:

  • “Well, there you are. That’s how the fishmonger had his chips.” (26:55, Aubrey Mason)

Important Timestamps

• 01:00–03:05 – Assignment explained; whale backstory outlined by Duclair and Mason
• 06:11–08:00 – Cannon investigates; humorous banter
• 09:52–13:45 – Russians-in-a-whale reveal; asylum plot described
• 14:25–16:00 – Discovery of the corpse; stakes escalate
• 18:44–19:52 – Fire destroys the whale, eliminating evidence
• 23:42–26:43 – Mason uncovers the caretaker impostor; motive and method revealed
• 26:55 – Episode’s moral and comedic send-off

Tone and Style

• Language: Witty, period-coded, rich in detective patter and droll understatements.
• Atmosphere: Suspenseful yet playful, blending serious tension (political refugees, murder) with slapstick and puns typical of mid-century radio dramas.

For Listeners

This episode is a tour of everything to love in vintage radio drama: eccentric jobs, improbable crimes, and droll investigators. Whether you’re a fan of detective fiction or just enjoy a twisty, character-driven story, “Chips for the Fishmonger” delivers intrigue, laughs, and a taste of Cold War-era anxieties—all told with a light, entertaining touch.