Leonidas Witherall - Square Nazi Jack Boot

Summary

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Leonidas Witherall: "Square Nazi Jack Boot"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Date: June 15, 2026
Source: Adapted radio adventure, starring Walter Hampden as Leonidas Witherall
Original Author: Alice Tilton

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Episode Overview

This episode features a classic broadcast from the Leonidas Witherall radio mystery series, with the titular Shakespearean-bearded schoolmaster and secret crime novelist thrust into another murder mystery. The episode, "Square Nazi Jack Boot," unfolds as Witherall discovers a murder at his home and becomes ensnared in a web involving secret identities, a desperate plea for cash, and Nazi intrigue. The tone mixes bemused wit, cozy New England charm, and mounting danger.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Progression

1. Introduction of Leonidas Witherall

• Walter Hampden introduces his character, who is both "the owner of Meredith, an exemplary school for boys" and the secret author of the Lieutenant Hazeltine stories. Witherall is often asked, due to his resemblance, "Are you Bill Shakespeare?"
  • Quote: “He bears a resemblance to William Shakespeare... strangers often ask Leonidas if they haven't met him in the public library.” [00:29]

2. The Murder at Witherall’s Tea

• Witherall is hosting a tea for the local ladies when he delivers a shocking announcement:
  • Quote: “Ladies, ladies. There’ll be no tea this afternoon. There’s been a murder.” [03:27]
• The body of Mr. Yerkes, local bank president, is found in the hall closet—Witherall admits to moving the corpse to avoid distressing his guests. Mrs. Mullet, his loyal but nosy housekeeper, is both perplexed and scandalized by the situation.

3. Clues and Intrigue Unfold

• Strange Clues:
  • Maud’s missing cape, footprints with an unusual square-toed boot, and a mysterious telephone message about an overdue book ("Hearts Ablaze") set the curiosity in motion.
• Request for $500:
  • Professor Cripps calls, urgently requesting $500 and refers cryptically to the book he ostensibly never borrowed. Witherall notes: “I'm going to return a book I never borrowed.” [15:06]

4. The Investigation Deepens

• Witherall and Sergeant McConnell investigate footprints, deducing that the killer must have hidden near the house—perhaps behind a tree—wearing distinctive square boots.
  • Quote: “They're from a very strange kind of shoe... extremely large, square. Definitely not the type of shoe worn by an ordinary man.” [12:05]
• Bank secretary Helen (and Mrs. Mullet’s daughter) describes overhearing Cripps pleading for $500 and Yerkes’ skepticism.

5. Chilling Discoveries at the Library

• Witherall sneaks into the library (after hours, in the dark), searching for the mysterious "Hearts Ablaze" as directed by Cripps.
• In the stacks, Witherall and Jenk find Professor Cripps dead, also shot in the head.
  • “He’s dead. Is indeed... Same story as Yerkes.” [18:59]
• Witherall is threatened at gunpoint by a mysterious man.

6. The “Square Nazi Jack Boot” Revealed

• The assailant identifies himself as Lieutenant Max Von Oden of the Nazi army. He reveals:
  • He duped his uncle Cripps with a fake anti-Nazi story to solicit money.
  • He killed both Yerkes and Cripps to protect his identity and escape, and now forces Witherall back to his house at gunpoint.
• Witherall, even under threat, launches a stinging, poetic monologue about Nazi brutality:
  • Quote: “Your shoes, for instance. The hard, square shoes that left the footprints on my front lawn. I see them as the boots taking up Frenchman in the stomach, then swaggering away as he coughs out his life on a Parisian street corner.” [24:13]

7. Climax and Resolution

• At Witherall’s home, with Mrs. Mullet unwittingly present, Witherall delays Von Oden.
• He cleverly gets Mrs. Mullet to dust a bust of Shakespeare, knowing it’s precariously placed; she accidentally knocks it on Von Oden, knocking him unconscious.
  • Quote: “I must have dusted too hard. Wasn't my fault, really. I guess I knocked your friend cold.” [27:09]
• The police are called; Mrs. Mullet is congratulated for “capturing a portion of the German army with a feather duster.” [27:18]

Closing Reflection

• Witherall paraphrases Hamlet on the macabre events:
  • Quote: “I could a tale unfold whose lightest word would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood. Make thy two eyes like stars start from their spheres...” [28:01]
• Mrs. Mullet bemoans her lost cape, but is delighted by the adventure, comparing it to one of Witherall's fictional mysteries.
• Witherall sums up: “He made a fatal error. He didn't notice something very simple.” [28:39]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “There’ll be no tea this afternoon. There’s been a murder.” – Witherall [03:27]
• “You aren’t supposed to touch a corpse, ever. Lieutenant Hazeltine never does that.” – Mrs. Mullet [06:49]
• “Your shoes, for instance... the boots taking up Frenchman in the stomach, then swaggering away...” – Witherall to Von Oden [24:13]
• “You've just captured a portion of the German army with a feather duster.” – Witherall to Mrs. Mullet [27:18]
• “He made a fatal error. He didn't notice something. Something very simple.” – Witherall, on the villain’s undoing [28:39]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:27] — Witherall declares the murder during tea.
• [06:11] — Revelation that the murdered Mr. Yerkes is in the closet.
• [10:36] — Witherall reports the murder to the police.
• [12:05] — Discovery of the strange square-booted footprints.
• [15:06] — The odd request from Professor Cripps and the overdue book clue.
• [18:54] — Discovery of Professor Cripps' body in the library.
• [19:11-24:13] — Witherall’s confrontation with Von Oden, revealing the Nazi connection.
• [27:09] — The Shakespeare bust knocks out Von Oden.
• [28:39] — Witherall explains the villain’s fatal (simple) error.

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Tone, Style, and Atmosphere

• Language: Witty, literate, occasionally philosophical, drawing on Shakespearean allusion.
• Atmosphere: Classic Golden Age mystery—cozy but laced with wartime anxiety and patriotism.
• Notable Feature: Playful juxtaposition of Witherall’s everyday blunders and moments of real consequence.

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Final Thoughts

"Square Nazi Jack Boot" exemplifies vintage radio mystery: it’s fast-paced, clever, and capped off with social commentary about the nature of evil and the simplicity by which criminals are often undone. Witherall’s erudition, housekeeper Mrs. Mullet’s homespun wisdom, and the well-constructed plot make for a satisfying listen—and a wild ride from tea time to peril, all solved, as always, before dinner.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

mutual is proud to present Walter Hampden. Walter Hampton, a great and versatile actor, has in his time played many parts, but none quite likely this Wither all the hero of the adventures which we'll broadcast every Sunday evening. We'll meet Leonidas in action and plenty of it in a moment. At this moment we invite you to meet Walter Hamden. Thank you. Perhaps you know Leonidas Wither all through the entertaining mystery stories by Ms. Alice Tilton. I like the man. I expect to have a good time acting him. And I hope you'll have a good time hearing his adventures. One of the intriguing things about Leonidas is his beard. Because of it, he bears a resemblance to William Shakespeare. So that strangers often ask Leonidas if they haven't met him in the public library. Others address him point blank as Bill Shakespeare or just plain Bill. Then too, there is Leonidas double life. He's the owner of Meredith, an exemplary school for boys in a pleasant New England town. And privately, confidentially, he's the author of the Lieutenant Hazeltine stories. Lieutenant Hazeltine is a fabulous hero. A master of every situation. On the radio he is introduced like this.

[A]

Hazeltine to the rescue.

[B]

Yes. Now Leonidas in his own life is always tumbling into strange and unexpected situations. So you can imagine his mixed feelings when confronted with a real mystery of his own. And somebody says, as somebody always does,

[A]

you ought to hear Lieutenant Hazeltine on the radio. He'd know what to do.

[B]

But so, as you may discover, does Leonidas as we meet him. He's giving a tea for the good ladies of a local club. They're assembled in his living room and they chatter her cheerfully as they anticipate the refreshment and Leonard us.

[A]

Oh, then you see him. Idea exactly like Shakespeare. Wonderful looking man. Charming man. Very interesting. He said he has an unexpected visitor, but he'll be up in a jiffy. Yes, Mr. Witherall will be with us in a moment. So let's be patient, shall we? Oh, here he is now. He does look like Mr. Shakespeare, doesn't he? What a beautiful being. Oh, well, the honor. This is about time.

[B]

Ladies, ladies. There'll be no tea this afternoon. There's been a murder.

[A]

What? Leonidas, if this is some distasteful little joke.

[B]

Oh, no, I'm quite serious, Maud. There has been a murder. No fault of my own, you understand. It was completely unanticipated. Mrs. Mother, can you help the ladies with their things and show them to the door?

[A]

All right. Well, I never. Murder. Come on, Leona. Just walk downstairs with me. Now, tell me everything that happens. Who's been murdered?

[B]

Maud, why don't you just find your thing?

[A]

Oh, my cape's downstairs in the hall closet.

[B]

In the hall closet? Are you sure?

[A]

Of course I am. Why, I hung my cape there when I came in. Right in that closet at the bottom of the stairs.

[B]

It's impossible. You couldn't have put your cape there. Door's been locked for days.

[A]

What? Oh, goodbye, dear. To your birthday. Did you get your things, Mrs. Haviston? No. He says this closet's locked. Locked? Yes, he says it's been locked for days. Do you ever hear of such a thing?

[B]

Try the door if you want to.

[A]

Well, I certainly will.

[B]

Well, see.

[A]

Oh, it was such a beautiful cape too. Lord.

[B]

My dear, you don't need a cape. It would be gilding the lily. As the gentleman I'm supposed to resemble has said. To gild refined gold. To paint the lily. To throw a perfume on the violet. To smooth the ice. And more to that effect.

[A]

Oh, how sweet.

[B]

Yes. Good afternoon, Maud.

[A]

Oh, I do hope that awful, awful murder or whatever it is works out nicely. Of course, if there was someone around like Lieutenant Hazeltine. Did you ever hear him on the radio, Lieutenant Hazeline?

[B]

Oh. Oh, yes, yes, yes, I've heard him. Much to my own pleasure and profit.

[A]

Well, if you don't know what to do about this murder business. Just imagine what Lieutenant Hazeltine would do. He's never wrong, you know. Positively infallible. Have you read the books about him, too?

[B]

Oh, yes. Good afternoon, Morton.

[A]

You know, I helped her. Had the cape in there. I don't understand this at all.

[B]

Good afternoon, Maud.

[A]

Oh, that was the most exquisite cape. And I. Well, you look for it and I'll call you later. Good afternoon, Leonidas. Mrs. Mallor.

[B]

Goodbye.

[A]

Goodbye, Mrs. Haviston.

[B]

Now that they've gone.

[A]

Goodness, Mr. Wither, all. I completely forgot. There was a message for you from a Mr.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes, I spoke to him on the telephone a while ago. He's on his way over, I think. He said he was coming from the bank.

[B]

The earth arrived. I've seen him.

[A]

When?

[B]

He was my unexpected visitor. That's what delayed me. In fact, he's still here.

[A]

He is? Where?

[B]

In the hall closet, Mr. Witherville.

[A]

Putting guests in the closet?

[B]

Mr. Yerkes is hardly in a position to complain.

[A]

Why, he's dead. Well, I'm glad, huh? There's a dead man in that closet.

[B]

Yes. He rang my bell a while ago. I opened the door and Mr. Yerkes staggered in. He was shot in the head. Probably while standing on my doorstep.

[A]

I didn't hear no shot.

[B]

I thought it was a blowout, too. He fell over there on the rug. I realized he wasn't exactly a pleasant decoration to have at the door when the ladies left. So I put him in the closet. Temporarily, of course.

[A]

You aren't supposed to touch a corpse, ever. Lieutenant Hazeltine never does that.

[B]

Now that's another point, Mrs. Mullet. You almost slipped up when Mrs. Haviston was here. I must impress upon you again. The fact that I write the Hazeltine books is our precious secret. So let's be more careful, eh?

[A]

Are you going to open the closet door now?

[B]

Certainly. A cadaver doesn't belong in the closet, does it?

[A]

Who shot him?

[B]

I don't know where. I haven't any idea what this is all about. The last time I spoke to Mr. Yerkes, he called me for his daughter. Bank said he wanted to come over to speak with me as soon as he could. Something urgent, he said. Next thing I knew, my doorbell rang and there he was.

[A]

Good gracious.

[B]

Evidently, when he spoke to you, he wanted to confirm the appointment. Oh, would you pick up that phone and call the police?

[A]

Well, it's about time. Keeping a dead man in a closet. Why, it's. It's sacrilegious. Oh, you gonna open that door?

[B]

Not just yet. Would you please call.

[A]

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[B]

Hi, Lancet. Hello? Hello, Is that you with Rome? Yes. This is Chris. I'm at the library. I can't explain over the phone, but this is terribly important. I need 500. $500.

[A]

$500. I need it.

[B]

I've got to have it.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

Could you help me out?

[A]

What's the trouble?

[B]

Just a second. Cripps. It's Professor Cripps of the school library, Mrs. Mullet.

[A]

Oh, I know him. I look after his room every second Thursday. A very nice gentleman.

[B]

Oh, then perhaps you could spare him 500 from underneath an old mattress, possibly. Me Crips. Yes? Pardon the interruption. I think I can dig it up for you.

[A]

Cash.

[B]

You see, the bank and I need the cash immediately. That's all right. I can get it for you. Would you bring it here to the library as soon as you can? This is terribly important, and if. Yes, I'll be over. I think I understand. By the way, that book you borrowed, Hearts Ablaze. It's way overdue. Would you bring it with you? Hearts Ablaze. I never borrowed a book called. Hello? Hello?

[A]

Hello?

[B]

He hung up. That's odd. He doesn't usually make mistakes like that.

[A]

Now, shall I call the police?

[B]

Oh, yes. Yes, of course. I wonder what sort of trouble trips could be in.

[A]

Did he ever ask you for money before?

[B]

No, never. You know him, Mrs. Mullet. He leads a very quiet life. He's been going along smoothly for years. Ever since he came to meredith back in 1927, I think it was. He came to us right after he was graduated from Heidelberg.

[A]

Have you a family?

[B]

No.

[A]

He doesn't go out gallivanting, does he?

[B]

No, no, not a bit of it. As far as I know, he's completely wrapped up in his work at the school library. Now Suddenly he needs $500. Why did he mention that book? Well, wouldn't this be the time to call the police, Mrs. Mullet? Police headquarters. Sergeant McConnell. Sergeant, this is Leonidas Witherol. Bill Shakespeare. Hello there, Bill. Sergeant, I'm at home, you remember? 40 Birchill Road. Yes. I'm calling about Mr. Yerk, the president of Dalton Bank. What about him? He's been murdered.

[A]

Everything happens in this.

[B]

He was shot through the head just a few minutes ago. Where's the body? Right here. All right, don't touch anything, don't leave and don't let anyone else leave. We're on our way. He'll be here in a moment.

[A]

Now, he'll take Mr. Yerkes out of there, huh?

[B]

No, I think he's been disturbed enough today. Oh, incidentally.

[A]

Yes?

[B]

That bust over the alcove. The bust of Shakespeare? Yeah, Shakespeare. Is it necessary to put the Bust on that narrow shelf. You have Mr. Shakespeare in a very precarious position.

[A]

Well, you just wait till I dust him off. He looks fine up there. You'll see. There.

[B]

Careful, Mrs. Mullet. Careful.

[A]

Issue. Never mind about the house. You should be busy trying to find out who shot Mr. Yerk. He was shot right here on your doorstep, wasn't he?

[B]

Yes, so he was.

[A]

Well, then go on and get Disney. Get bitten.

[B]

See, Yerks were shot directly in the back of the head. Therefore, the bullet must have come from a small area in that direction. Let it squat on the lawn and have a look around. Now, whoever fired the gun wouldn't stand out here in the open. He'd conceal himself.

[A]

He might have stood behind the tree.

[B]

Now you sound like Lieutenant Hazeltine, Mrs. Mullet.

[A]

You know what he'd do, don't you?

[B]

Well, I ought to. He'd stand behind a tree like this and see if the murderer could have done his sniping from there. Another Hazeltine touch. Footprints.

[A]

Goodness. What kind of footprints are those?

[B]

They're from a very strange kind of shoe. I'd say they look extremely large, square. Definitely not the type of shoe worn by an ordinary man. Of course, if we knew why somebody should want to kill yer.

[A]

He was a banker, wasn't he?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Well, then it's a question of common sense. Who'd be after a banker? Someone who needs money.

[B]

And that brings us back to crips, doesn't it? Well, here are the police. They can take over. Hello, bill Shakespeare. Hello, Mrs. Mullet. How do, Shakespeare? Where's my yurt? My house? In the wall closet. In the closet? I moved the body in there myself. You move the body? You see, I had a few guests upstairs and he was in the way. Oh, okay. All right, boys, get Yerkes out of the closet. Usual routine pictures. Medical report. Well, now, tell me, Bill, exactly what happened? Mr. Yerke telephone to say he was coming over. He wanted to talk to me about something absolutely vital, he said. I never found out what it was. He rang my bell. I opened the door, found him shot in the head. Did you see anyone around? No, but Mrs. Mullet and I were just looking at these rather grotesque footprints. Where? Here.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Say, that is a funny kind of print, isn't it? I'll have it photographed and measured right now. I'd say the next stop is Mr. Yorke's bank. You come along with her. Oh, is it necessary for me to go to the bank with you? I'd much prefer to leave the entire matter in your hands. Look, Bill, Yerkes was shot on your doorstep. The matter is very much in your hands, Shakespeare. Yes, sir. You and I are going to the bank. You're Mr. Yerke's secretary?

[A]

Yes, I am.

[B]

Helen is Mrs. Mullet's daughter. Did you know that, Sergeant? She is. And she's been Mr. York's secretary here in the bank quite some time. Haven't you, Helen?

[A]

Yes, for about three years.

[B]

What kind of a fellow was he? Friendly?

[A]

Oh, yes. He was always very nice to me. He. He even tried to help me get into the Dalton Summer Theater.

[B]

Helen's ambition is to stay. Oh, she hopes to become an actress.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Now, Helen, what we want to know is, do you remember anything about Mr. Yer. Anything that took place recently? Anything that might be a clue as to why someone should want to kill him?

[A]

Well, there was Mr. Cripps. He was here this afternoon.

[B]

Aha. Him again. Go on.

[A]

Well, I was typing outside of Mr. York's office. Mr. Cripps wanted to borrow $500. I gathered that much, he said. So you're going to turn me down? Mr. Yerke seemed very upset. He said, get out of here. I won't be responsible for what happens to you, Crip. Besides, I don't believe your speech. Sorry at all.

[B]

Very good impersonation, Helen. But what was the story he didn't believe?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Where you going, Bill? Well, if you'll excuse me, Sergeant, I'm going to the library. To see Crips? That's right. What for? I want to return a book. Do you haven't any book with you? That's just the point. I'm going to return a book I never borrowed. What's that? See you later, Sergeant.

[A]

Who is that?

[B]

Open the door, Jenks. It's wheeler.

[A]

Ah, hello, Mr. Whittor. The Shire library's closed.

[B]

Oh, I see. Didn't you close very early today?

[A]

Yes. Professor's been having me locked up early these days.

[B]

Where is he? He still here?

[A]

Professor Crib? No, I'm all alone, Jenk.

[B]

Do you mind if I come in?

[A]

Everything's locked up.

[B]

We'd be doing a very great favor for me. I want to return a certain book. A book called Heart to Blaze.

[A]

Are you reading that stuff?

[B]

I realize it's against the rules to allow anyone inside, but it won't take a moment. And it's so important.

[A]

All right, sir. But you will have to find your way in the dark. I don't dare turn on lights to me. My job. I have a flashlight, though. It might help. Here. How's that Excellent.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

There's a car and catalog here.

[B]

Yeah. Let's see. H H. H, E. H, E A.

[A]

You aren't going to go downstairs, are you?

[B]

I'm going wherever the card says. I'll find the book. Why?

[A]

Well, San Cruise. It's. It's mighty spooky down there. For the last few days, I've been hearing lots of noises. Do you believe in ghosts?

[B]

Now Jake's up.

[A]

Sorry. I had an uncle once. He didn't believe in ghosts. One night he went to a house on Greystone Cliffs. Then quince as a wink, he ends up in the morn.

[B]

Too bad.

[A]

Couldn't you. Couldn't you wait till tomorrow when everybody's

[B]

here, I'll go alone. How's that?

[A]

I wish you wouldn't go tall for your own good. I could swear I've been hearing creatures from the other world. Do you hear that?

[B]

What?

[A]

Listen.

[B]

There are noises in every building. Jinx. It's because the beams become warped and. Ah, here we are. Hearts, hearts, hearts ablaze. Room three, stack seven. Good. I'm going downstairs.

[A]

I wish you wouldn't.

[B]

Oh, will you be all right without your flashlight to expose the spooks?

[A]

Oh, don't joke about a subject like that. I had a cousin once. He was always joking about graves and coffins. And you know where he ended up?

[B]

In the morgue. Quick as a wink.

[A]

How'd you guess?

[B]

Room three, stack seven. That's this way. I'll be back soon.

[A]

No, no, wait, I. Well, if you're not afraid, I'll go around too and hold the flashlight steady for you.

[B]

Come along, and let's hurry it.

[A]

Can you see all right?

[B]

Yes. Go ahead.

[A]

Room three is down this stairway. Be careful. Straight ahead, through that door.

[B]

I'll open it.

[A]

Heavens.

[B]

To the left.

[A]

Did you hear anything?

[B]

This time I did, yes.

[A]

Sounds like somebody's in this room. I flash the light around and see if. Hold it. Look on the floor. It's Professor Cripps.

[B]

So it is. Jinx. The late professor.

[A]

He's dead. Is indeed.

[B]

Let me see. Yep. Shot through the back of the head. Same story as Yerkes.

[A]

Let's get out of here. Jinx.

[B]

Jinx, where are you? Can't see. What's happened? Don't move. Who are you? This is a.45 in your back. Don't move, I said. What is your name? Leonardus Witherer. I thought so. Fine. And you? Lieutenant Max Von Oden of the army of the Greater Ice. You're rather far from where you belong, aren't you? I will get back. Oh, of course, yes. What do you mean? Well, I won't ask you how you got here or why. I doubt if your answer would be reliable information. You may doubt you were going to bring my uncle $500. You have it with you? Your uncle Crip was your uncle? Yes, that's right. He did mention that part of his family was still in Germany. He was helping you with your escape, eh? I fooled him completely. I told him that I was a member of the Antinasi underground. I told him that the Germans were pursuing me to all the corners of the earth. But I was safe, nowhere that I needed money. So he tried Mr. Yerkes. Yerke didn't believe the story and turned him down. Yes. Then yer went running to your house. Idiot. I knew there might be trouble. You followed Yerkes, hid behind a tree and shot him as he entered my place. Did I? Your shoes give you away? My shoes? Never mind. Why did you shoot your uncle? My uncle suddenly realized the to you. Where's the money? I didn't bring it with me. And you and I are going to your house. And you will give it to me there. After which I shall kill you too. You mean. Pleasant prospect. I must. I must leave no one who knows about me. Of course. God. Come on. We'll walk upstairs and out of this library. We'll go together down the street to your house. And you will be perfectly quiet. Remember, my.45 is in my pocket. You will give no signs, no Signal. Stop walking, Mr. Wetherald. Walk faster with a roll. Every minute is precious. We haven't much further to go. Just around the next corner. You see, I knew that my uncle sensed the truth about me when he mentioned that cook to you on the telephone. Hearts ablaze. It was obvious that he was trying to tell you to go to room three, stack seven. You're very perceptive. Oh, good evening. Just a friend. Remember, I have a 45. Watch what you say.

[A]

Well, did you find my safe yet? Oh, I Beg your pardon, miss.

[B]

Haw. Mr. Van Odin. Mr. Vanoden. Mrs. Haberston.

[A]

How do you?

[B]

Mr. Venodin just arrived in town. He's touring.

[A]

Oh, really? Is this your first time in this part of the country?

[B]

Yes, it is. It's charming.

[A]

And have you been in Dalton long?

[B]

Not very, no.

[A]

Well, you must let me on to show you everything. Where do you come from, Mr. Van Oden? Out west.

[B]

Mr. Van Oden has recently arrived from Europe.

[A]

Now. Oh, how exciting.

[B]

An expert on European affairs. Especially on the problems in occupied Europe.

[A]

Why, that's wonderful. You're staying in Dalton for a while, I hope.

[B]

No, I'm sorry. I have other plans.

[A]

But you must stay for a few days. I'm simply dying to talk to you. As a matter of fact, I'm having a little luncheon tomorrow at my home. Just a few of my friends and some of the Meredith faculty and they'd be delighted to meet you. Won't you come over and tell us about your experience?

[B]

I'm afraid.

[A]

Oh, please. It's at 1 o'. Clock.

[B]

I'd like him very much, but I'm afraid it's impossible.

[A]

Leonidas, you persuade him, won't you?

[B]

I wish I could. I do wish there was some way to keep him here.

[A]

Are you on your way home, Leonidas?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You must come to the luncheon too.

[B]

Well, I don't know if I'll be available.

[A]

Well, I'm going to drop in at the tailor's and then I'm coming by for my cake. And you're going to find it for me, Leonidas, if you have to turn your whole house upside down. See you both later. Goodbye.

[B]

Goodbye. All right, weather off. Start walking. I saw your housekeeper at the window the last time I was here. I want to warn you again when we go inside. Oh, I shan't say anything to Mrs. Mullet.

[A]

Come on. Oh, hello, Mr. Wetherall.

[B]

Oh, Mrs. Mullet. I brought a guest. This is Mr. Van Odin.

[A]

How do, Mr. Van Odin? Would you like some tea?

[B]

I haven't much time.

[A]

Oh, a cup of hot tea's be nice, I think. And I have some chocolate cookies too. Have it bore you in a second.

[B]

Now sit down, won't you? Might like this chair very comfortable, Sal. It gives you a view of the room and of me. I could hardly make trouble for you, could I? With you and your revolver commanding the room from there. And if you try. Fine chair, isn't it? You sit in that one there where I can watch you. Well, you look like someone I've seen somewhere. Yes, Shakespeare. My good friend called me Bill. If you look up at that bust over your head, you see the resemblance. Like whom you look is nothing to me. Wither all. Get the money. Yes, you can get up from that chair for that. Get the money. I. Why are you staring at me? You know you're the first genuine Nazi I've ever seen. What of it? I'm interested in your dimensions, your chemistry. I don't follow you. Your shoes, for instance. The hard, square shoes that left the footprints on my front lawn. I see them as the boots taking up Frenchman in the stomach, then swaggering away as he coughs out his life on a Parisian street corner. Be careful weather or watch your tongue, your hands, van Odin. I can see the precise fingers jabbing a needle into the vein of a starving school child in Poland to provide more blood for your degenerate warrior. Whether or not you say one more word like that. Oh, you're not going to kill me yet you don't know where the money is. And your eyes, Lieutenant. They're the eyes at the bomb site over an English town. Getting school so accurately in line, making the death of the children a mathematical certainty. You're wasting time. You're purposely wasting time. In your mouth, the obscenities, it must have spewed out the same vile words that were poured into your ears by the leaders. Measured and then poured as a pharmacist would weigh a deadly drug. That's why I'm staring at you. When you told me that you were in the German army, I wanted to put you out of our way forever. But that would never be enough. It's not going to be enough to rip the swastika from the brown house in Munich. Money or no money. If you don't shut up, I feel that unless we go beyond that, unless we understand you, we shan't have won anything at all. We'll have to do the same dirty, heartbreaking job all over again. That's why I should like to get at the roots of your hate and your frustration. And while you are theorizing, we shall overrun the earth. We are too clever for you. For instance, at this moment, I am winning, isn't that right? Yes, at this moment you are. But you Germans always make the same fatal error. You overlook the simple things. You always fail to see something very simple.

[A]

Well, here we are. Pipe and hot tea and some delicious cookies.

[B]

Thank you, Mrs. Oh, that bust of Shakespeare on the shelf. You. You haven't dusted it off.

[A]

Why, I certainly did. Don't you remember?

[B]

No, I don't. It looks very dusty. Would you please.

[A]

Oh, all right, if you say so. But I know I did it.

[B]

Well, do it again.

[A]

You're just being an old fuss budget. I'll dust this. So. Oh, my. I am sorry. I must have dusted too hard. Wasn't my fault, really. I guess I knocked your friend cold.

[B]

That's exactly what I hoped you'll do, Mr. Whither.

[A]

The way you treat your guests. First you stuff one into a closet, then you have this one bopped on

[B]

the bean Mrs. Mullet, you've just captured a portion of the German army with a feather duster. Congratulations. And may I present you with his revolver.

[A]

I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't want that thing.

[B]

I'll open the door. Oh, hello, Ma.

[A]

Barely honored this. Did you find my tape? I did. It's on a chair in the living room. I'll get it. Well, it's about time. And I just bet it was in that closet too, all the time. Oh, dear. Isn't that that nice Mr. Van Odin on the floor?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Well, what's he doing there? Oh, Leonidas. After all, first there's a robbery or something in this house and. And now that charming man sprawled on the floor. What is this all about, Maud?

[B]

As the gentleman I'm supposed to resemble has written, I could a tale unfold whose lightest word would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood. Make thy two eyes like stars start from their fears. Thy knotted and combined locks to part. And each particular hair to stand on end. Like quills upon the fretful porcupine.

[A]

He's the napkins strangely. All day.

[B]

Suppose, Maude, we just say that Mr. Van Odin, being guilty of two murders, will not be at your luncheon tomorrow.

[A]

Two murders? Oh, gracious. This is just like one of those Lieutenant Hazel kind affairs. How'd you ever catch him?

[B]

He made a fatal error. He didn't notice something. Something very simple. Mrs. Mullet. Would you call Sergeant McCobble?

[A]

I certainly will, pard.

[B]

Have some tea. Mutual has been proud to present the distinguished American actor Walter Hampton. As Leonidas Witheron. In the first of Leonidas Witherald's radio adventures. And now, Mr. Hampden, what have we for next week? Well, graduation time seems to be arriving at Meredith. The excellent school of which Leonidas is proprietor. And Leonidas is making plans for an unusual party of the alumni. It involves a place that is a skating rink in the summer. And a swimming pool in the winter. And a homicide Next week when we meet up again with the Adventures of Leonidas witheroff. Thank you, Mr. Hampden. The radio script for tonight's Leonidas Adventure was written by Howard Merrill, the producer, Roger Bauer. If you'd like to attend one of these broadcasts. Well, if you're in New York or expect a visit here, just write to Leonidas Witherall. Or if you prefer to Bill Shakespeare. Make it Bill Shakespeare, care of WO R New York 18. We'll be happy to send tickets without charge. The program originates a W O R Walter Hamden in the Adventures of Leonidas Witherall has heard over most of these stations Sunday nights at 9 o' clock Eastern. War time. This is mutual.