Lux Radio Theatre - Trouble Along the Way

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Lux Radio Theatre – Trouble Along the Way
Date: July 24, 2026
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Featured Stars: Van Johnson, Joanne Drew
Original Air: Lux Radio Theatre

---

Overview

This episode transports listeners to the golden era of radio with a star-studded adaptation of Warner Bros.’ “Trouble Along the Way” from Lux Radio Theatre. The lighthearted romantic comedy follows Steve Williams, a down-on-his-luck football coach and single father, who’s recruited to save a struggling Catholic college through the unlikeliest means—football. Along the way, he navigates institutional collapse, child custody battles, moral dilemmas, and the evolving relationship with a tenacious social worker.

---

Key Discussion Points & Plot Highlights

I. Introducing St. Anthony's – The Shabby Little College

• Setting: St. Anthony's College, a picturesque but crumbling institution in New York.
  • “There ain’t no college nowhere as broken down as this college.” — Father Burke (01:52)
• Problem: The college is on the brink of closure due to a $170,000 debt.
  • “St. Anthony’s College is going to close its doors.” — Provincial Advisor (03:13)

II. Father Burke’s Solution: Football!

• Father Burke interprets scripture as a sign to turn to football to save the college.
  • “The beloved grew fat and kicked. What else could it mean to Father Burke? Football.” — Ms. Singleton (05:42)
• He seeks out Steve Williams, an exiled but talented coach.
  • “I’ve been kicked out of the Big Ten, the Ivy League and the Southern Conference. They wouldn’t even let me coach at Alcatraz.” — Steve Williams (07:01)
• Father Burke persuades Steve to coach St. Anthony’s, offering meager pay and room & board.

III. The Williams Family & Social Services

• Custody Tension: Steve’s parenting comes under scrutiny from Ms. Singleton, a social worker.
  • “Don’t use the word child with such chilling precision. Her name is Carol.” — Steve Williams (09:26)
  • “The court has received a complaint that your child has been neglected.” — Ms. Singleton (10:05)
• Ms. Singleton initially finds fault with Steve’s methods but becomes increasingly sympathetic as she learns more.

IV. The Football Hustle

• Resourcefulness: Steve leverages his industry contacts and dubious means to rapidly assemble a formidable team.
  • “At my new alma mater, they don’t even know what time it is. All they’re after are gate receipts.” — Steve Williams (30:59)
  • He proposes profit-sharing: “This will be the first cooperative football team in history.” — Steve Williams (31:15)
• Team-building: Recruiting is unconventional, blending streetwise hustle with underdog grit.

V. The Custody Battle Escalates

• Legal and emotional struggles for Carol’s custody persist, with Ms. Singleton and Steve both arguing Carol’s best interests.
  • “A lot of things more important in your life than football.” — Steve Williams (36:53)
  • Carol is forced to choose between attending the pivotal football game or seeing her mother by court order.

VI. The Big Game & Scandal

• Climactic Victory: St. Anthony’s wins their first game, but success comes under a cloud as an investigation uncovers ethical breaches—recruiting ringers, faked records, and profit-driven motives.
• Moral Reckoning: Father Burke is forced to cancel the season and reflects on his own motivations and failings.
  • “I have already asked the provincial to close our school immediately. I’m sorry, Father. The thing that hurt most was to hear from a stranger that you’ve been buying players, forging records, dividing profits.” — Father Burke (42:32)

VII. Resolution & Redemption

• Courtroom Drama: The final act centers on a custody hearing.
  • Ms. Singleton reverses her earlier assessment, recognizing Steve’s devotion.
    • “I came to this courtroom mainly to repudiate that report... it’s obvious to me now that I’ve spent most of my time investigating the wrong party.” — Ms. Singleton (49:04)
  • Ultimately, custody is postponed pending a new report, leaving the Williams’ future uncertain.
• Father Burke Steps Down: He confesses his motive was pride rather than salvation of the college and announces his resignation.
  • “The most difficult thing for a man to admit is that he’s growing old. Like our old chapel clock, I have grown picturesque but not very useful. So goodbye and God bless you all.” — Father Burke (54:27)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Football’s Corruption:

  • “Whenever some righteous committee unearths this well known fact, it’s always the coach who takes it on the chin. I just get tired of picking myself up.”
    — Steve Williams (07:25)

• Wry Father-Daughter Banter:

  • “And you know, those new teeth you bought me are just as good as the old ones. See?”
    — Carol Williams (10:40)

• Ms. Singleton’s Insight:

  • “Protect her from what? From growing up like me… by the time I was 10, I was a misfit. And when I was 12, I hated every boy who’d ever laughed at me.”
    — Ms. Singleton (45:15)

• Redemption and Regret:

  • "He did it in his own way. And because he did what I asked him to do, I discharged him from his post, exposed him to public ridicule and took from him the one thing in life that he valued.”
    — Father Burke (55:20)

---

Important Timestamps

• 00:31 - Lux Radio introduction
• 01:34–04:24 - St. Anthony’s plight revealed; Father Burke’s financial crisis
• 07:01–08:01 - Steve Williams’ hesitations and background as a disgraced coach
• 09:05–12:30 - Ms. Singleton’s child welfare investigation, initial sparring with Steve
• 15:54–18:53 - Steve agrees to coach, meets hapless team
• 21:01–22:41 - Steve defends his parenting; camaraderie with college staff
• 27:34–29:49 - The reality of the football schedule and Steve’s doubts
• 31:00–32:52 - Steve’s bold, cooperative team concept
• 36:23–37:28 - Carol forced to miss the big game due to custody order
• 38:43–40:07 - St. Anthony’s triumphant but tainted win
• 41:12–43:14 - The football scandal erupts; Father Burke announces cancellation of the season
• 48:02–51:24 - Courtroom climax; Ms. Singleton changes her evaluation, heartbreak lingers
• 53:48–56:08 - Father Burke’s final speech, resignation, and school’s reprieve

---

Episode Tone & Takeaways

The episode, mixing gentle satire and heartfelt character work, wrestles with themes of integrity, redemption, and the costs of ambition. Humorous moments—including Steve’s sardonic wisecracks and Carol’s precocious commentary—balance the sentimental heart at the core of this story: a fractured family and a run-down school both fighting for a second chance.

---

Would You Like to Revisit?

If you’re captivated by tales of scrappy underdogs, witty repartee, and slipper moral situations—told with the classic flair of old-time radio—this episode is a pitch-perfect listen.

---

Transcript

[Kiana]

I'm Kiana. And I leveled up my business with Shopify. Once I figured out that Shopify was a thing, I never turned back. I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. It's like I can't stop. I'm addicted.

[Shopify Announcer]

Start your free trial at shopify.com

[Steve Williams]

Lux presents Hollywood. The lux radio theater. Starring van johnson and joanne drew. In trouble along the way with terry jackson. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Irving cumming.

[Father Burke]

Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. In tonight's romantic comedy, Trouble along the Way, we have a gentleman with a problem. The gentleman has a small daughter who needs supervision. There's a small college that needs a football team and a beautiful social worker. And, well, you listen and see how complicated a man's life can get. And as our stars of this delightful story from the Warner Bros. Studios, we have Van Johnson and Joanne Drew with Sherry Jack.

[Ms. Singleton]

I suppose I'd passed the place a hundred times before I even knew what it was. The mossy old walls, the quaint sagging buildings, the ivy covered tower. Well, finally I asked a taxi driver,

[Steve Williams]

why, that's a college, lady.

[Father Burke]

St. Anthony's College.

[Ms. Singleton]

College?

[Father Burke]

Yeah. There ain't another one like it in the world. There ain't no college nowhere as broken down as this college.

[Ms. Singleton]

Quiet. It must be the oldest college in New York City.

[Father Burke]

Nah, it just looks that way.

[Ms. Singleton]

Oh, but it's beautiful. Those lovely iron gates. And that wonderful tower with the clock.

[Father Burke]

Yeah, the clock's on all four sides, see?

[Ms. Singleton]

Oh, yes, I know.

[Father Burke]

Only each side's got a different time.

[Steve Williams]

Oh, that's some clock, lady.

[Father Burke]

You can't even learn the time of day.

[Ms. Singleton]

This is poor Saint Anthony. Shabby, neglected, completely out of place in the city that surrounded it. The city, incidentally, was my boss. I worked for the Court of Domestic Relations and quite often my job took me near St. Anthony. One day I even saw an automobile drive in.

[Father Burke]

What we're trying to say, Father Burke, is that. Well, Brother Procurator and I come here directly from a meeting of the province advisor. They're upset about the indebtedness of your little college. Over $170,000, Father, and you don't seem to be doing anything to decrease. Well, George, when I take a vow of poverty, I go all the way. It appears you've been going a little too far. You see, Father, St. Anthony's College is going to close its doors.

[Steve Williams]

Close?

[Father Burke]

I'm sure you'll find it's all for the best, Father, But. But I can't leave St. Anthony's Why, I. I've been here as a student, a professor, and then as Father Rector for. For more than 50 years. I'm sorry, Father, but the decision's been made. Unless you suddenly find $170,000. Meanwhile, you finished the term. Of course, but try to keep expenses till down. Well, goodbye, Father. And don't worry, Father, we're certainly not going to put you out to pasture. God bless you. Goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, don't trip on that step going down. That board was loose when I was a student here. Place is nothing but a fire trap. If I had my way, we'd close it down immediately. Is that so? We shall just see about that. We'll see about that indeed.

[Ms. Singleton]

That evening, Father Burke gave a little talk to the student body, after which he went to his office, followed by his two assistants, Father Peterson and Father Malone.

[Father Burke]

That was an excellent speech, Father Burke. Excellent. Thank you, Leonard. But you just told those boys this

[Steve Williams]

college will still be here when they're.

[Father Burke]

When their grandchildren are flunking out. We understood the college was ordered closed only if we fail to solve our financial problem as a mere matter of money. Oh, that all stop again. I know exactly how I shall meet the situation, and as usual, I shall meet it single handed. And just how do you intend to get $170,000? I found the answer in Deuteronomy. Deuteronomy? Chapter 32, verse 15. Chapter 32. Well, is there a Bible in the house or do you have to go to a hotel? I'll see you both in the morning. Hmm. Chapter 32, verse 15. The beloved grew fat and kicked. What did you say? The beloved grew fat and kicked. Now, what do you suppose Father Burke meant by that?

[Ms. Singleton]

To Father Burke, the meaning was entirely obvious. Football. What else? The next day, after visiting a couple of prominent coaches, Father Burke found himself in a rather steamy section of the east side. He was looking for a man named Steve Williams.

[Carol Williams]

Sure, I know where he is. Only, what do you want with him?

[Father Burke]

Well, I have a position.

[Carol Williams]

Well, he's a little old for an altar boy, but you look harmless.

[Father Burke]

Appearances can be very deceiving. But thank you anyway.

[Carol Williams]

That's Steve chalking up his cue. He's got a sucker on the hook.

[Father Burke]

Thank you, little girl. Mr. Williams, good morning. I hate to interrupt your game, but

[Steve Williams]

I. Oh, it's Nothing, Father only 75 cents a ball.

[Father Burke]

I'm Father Burke, St. Anthony's College.

[Steve Williams]

A little off your beat, aren't you?

[Father Burke]

I don't think so. I'm looking for an experienced football coach. I understand you used to be one of the best. Who told you? You have friends.

[Steve Williams]

Friends who want to save my soul and get us out of this unwholesome atmosphere.

[Father Burke]

Us?

[Carol Williams]

Here's my part.

[Father Burke]

Oh, well, I. I have a school that is in financial difficulty. That's my only reason for coming to you.

[Steve Williams]

I'm afraid you're a little out of touch. I've been kicked out of the Big Ten, the Ivy League and the Southern Conference. They wouldn't even let me coach at Alcatraz.

[Father Burke]

I know all about that. The offer still holds.

[Steve Williams]

Thanks. But I like it here. Very few alumni come back to tell me how to hold this queue.

[Father Burke]

Do I detect a note of bitterness?

[Steve Williams]

You do indeed. Now, in case you don't know it, Father, football is now an American industry. The price of a good running back often surpasses the salary of a professor. And whenever some righteous committee unearths this well known fact, it's always the coach who takes it on the chin. I just get tired of picking myself up.

[Father Burke]

Free ball. My side pockets, Steve.

[Steve Williams]

Go ahead.

[Carol Williams]

Fix all the hangers, Pop.

[Steve Williams]

Thanks, Junior.

[Father Burke]

Hey, the wife gotta play the whole family. Mr. Williams, you must not judge St. Anthony's by the standards of other schools. I'm willing to take a chance on you.

[Steve Williams]

Well, the trouble with us, Father, is that I'm a sensitive man. And you're a gambler. No, thanks. Rack, boy, rack. Take my advice and stay out of sports. You'd be a babe in the woods.

[Father Burke]

I'll rack the balls for you, honey. Pop.

[Carol Williams]

Pop, look. He's doing it with his arms.

[Steve Williams]

No rack, huh? Where did you ever learn how to do that? Hey, the father's a ringer.

[Father Burke]

I also play a very good game of Kelly Poole. Mr. Williams, if you should change your mind.

[Steve Williams]

You're quite a guy.

[Father Burke]

Yes, aren't I?

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, that's how Father Burt met Steve Williams. Now, how do I figure in all of this? Well, my first meeting with Steve Williams occurred early the following day when I too came searching for him. But mine was a much different sort of errand.

[Carol Williams]

Just brush her off and eat your breakfast.

[Steve Williams]

Thanks, Junior.

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, I'm out of the Singletons and the Children's Division, the Court of Domestic Relations. I've been assigned to investigate you and your child with regard to her environment and educational training.

[Steve Williams]

Excuse me. The deadline for school is in exactly 10 1/4 minutes. Now finish your breakfast inside and get going.

[Carol Williams]

Talk loud, pops, as I can hear.

[Steve Williams]

As for you, miss, Please don't use the word child with such chilling precision. Her name is Carol.

[Ms. Singleton]

You seem very particular about everything except an untidy room and dirty dishes.

[Steve Williams]

Well, the butler was late today. You know, I'm beginning to wonder whether I'll get a fair shake in this investigation.

[Ms. Singleton]

I'm completely impartial. But I'm almost certain my report will

[Steve Williams]

have to be unfavorable before you get to know me.

[Ms. Singleton]

I interviewed the child's teachers and neighbors before coming here.

[Steve Williams]

My neighbors knocked me quite the contrary.

[Ms. Singleton]

But they're scarcely the sort of people I would choose for character references if I were you.

[Steve Williams]

Well?

[Ms. Singleton]

Well. The court has received a complaint that your child has been neglected.

[Steve Williams]

You mind telling me who filed the complaint?

[Ms. Singleton]

I believe it was your former wife.

[Carol Williams]

Why is she so interested all of a sudden? There's no reward.

[Steve Williams]

You pipe down.

[Carol Williams]

We don't talk about my mother around here. She's in a nause.

[Ms. Singleton]

Mrs. McCormick is worried that you're not getting the proper care. And I must say, it appears that she has some grounds.

[Steve Williams]

Honest, officer, I'm the nicest father father a kid ever had. Show the lady how nicely the welts are healing where I beat you.

[Carol Williams]

And you know, those new teeth you bought me are just as good as the old ones. See?

[Steve Williams]

And we only hold up gas stations once a week. And in the daytime. It isn't as if I kept the kid up after hours.

[Ms. Singleton]

If you don't mind, Mr. Williams, we'll continue this discussion without the presence of the child.

[Steve Williams]

Go get your books, Steve.

[Carol Williams]

Do I have to?

[Steve Williams]

I'll holler if I need help.

[Carol Williams]

You should have hollered before you got married.

[Ms. Singleton]

Now, may I have your occupation, please?

[Steve Williams]

Me? Oh, I'm. I'm a tycoon.

[Ms. Singleton]

Huh.

[Steve Williams]

Well, as I understand it, a tycoon is a man who has far flung financial operations. Now, during football season, I get out a little card which gives my estimates of the worth of the various college teams. If your estimate is better than mine, I pay as high as 5 to 1. And during baseball season, I do the same thing. And you can get action on the prize fights, hockey and the nine ball in the corner pocket. I'm a tycoon?

[Ms. Singleton]

If there were any real attachment between you and your child, I would think you'd make every effort to convince the court that you're a fit parent.

[Steve Williams]

You're way off base, Ms. Singleton. Carol and I are okay. It's you who needs help.

[Ms. Singleton]

Really? You know all about me.

[Steve Williams]

Let me guess. Four years at finishing school, one year at the New School for Social Research. No love life because you're afraid of it.

[Father Burke]

You're also very.

[Ms. Singleton]

Mr. Williams, when I first walked in here, my sympathies were not entirely with that poor child's mother. But now I'm going to do everything I can to take Carol away from these all awful surroundings and your degrading influence.

[Steve Williams]

You've got nice legs too.

[Ms. Singleton]

Are clear.

[Father Burke]

Pop?

[Shopify Announcer]

Yeah.

[Carol Williams]

Why don't we go to a ball game?

[Steve Williams]

When did you burn down the school?

[Carol Williams]

Okay, but I'm only doing this for you.

[Steve Williams]

Thanks, pal. Here. Have a good lunch.

[Carol Williams]

This Daniel. Pop.

[Ms. Singleton]

I considered it my duty to check on Mr. Williams activities for the balance of the day. Oh, what an impossible man. In any event, at about one o' clock he entered a third rate saloon on second Avenue. Hello, Steve.

[Steve Williams]

Oh, hello Anne.

[Ms. Singleton]

I've been waiting for you. The bartender said you're here every day.

[Steve Williams]

That's right. One of my branch officers.

[Ms. Singleton]

You looked a little stark. I guess five years is a long time.

[Steve Williams]

Not long enough.

[Ms. Singleton]

Aren't you going to ask a former wife to take a seat?

[Steve Williams]

Go ahead. You've taken everything else.

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, I. I came by to talk about visiting privileges.

[Steve Williams]

Look, I've told your lawyer a dozen times I wouldn't let you see Carol for five minutes.

[Ms. Singleton]

But you don't understand. I want you to visit.

[Steve Williams]

One thing I always liked about you, Ann. No razzle dazzle, always straight to the middle. What about your latest husband?

[Ms. Singleton]

Oh, Harold can still raise me to the heights with his checkbook. Now look, there's no reason for a legal mess about the kid. All you have to do is be nice to me.

[Steve Williams]

Go home.

[Ms. Singleton]

It's very cold at home.

[Steve Williams]

Oh, you'll build a fire under someone, but not me.

[Ms. Singleton]

Don't you walk out on me.

[Father Burke]

Steve.

[Ms. Singleton]

Come back here. All right.

[Carol Williams]

I'll get that kid away from you if it takes every lawyer in New York.

[Father Burke]

You just watch.

[Ms. Singleton]

I can't say with Mr. Williams was aware that I was following him or not. All I know is that he got away from me. And just to make matters worse, when I returned to their flat late that afternoon, Mr. Williams and his daughter had been.

[Steve Williams]

That's about it, Father Burke. Carol here and I, well, we talked it over and decided to give it a whirl.

[Father Burke]

We're very grateful to have you with us, Mr. Williams. I rather imagine you look upon St. Anthony's as a last desperate resort.

[Steve Williams]

The Bottom of the ivy colored barrel, Father. But if you're willing to take a chance, so am I.

[Father Burke]

Well, our last resort too. You have six months in which to help us save our little school. I trust you'll do it with honor and integrity.

[Carol Williams]

What's the salary, Father?

[Father Burke]

I believe that by skimping a little on our budget, we might afford, say, $3,000 a year.

[Carol Williams]

Who'll buy a Twistle?

[Steve Williams]

You keep out of this. It's a deal, Father.

[Father Burke]

Your daughter will be gratified to learn that we supply room and board free of charge.

[Ms. Singleton]

If such is the case, well, let's

[Carol Williams]

just get it down on paper, huh?

[Steve Williams]

That's your religion, Father.

[Father Burke]

I shall draw up a contract. I presume, little girl, you are also a notary public.

[Carol Williams]

What a character.

[Ms. Singleton]

And so Steve Williams became a football coach. Played Athenes College.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it is Ryan Seacrest here. If you love great games and a little extra excitement to your day, I got something fun for you. Shamba Casino and I have teamed up to create an exclusive online social casino game. It's called Ryan Seacrest 10K Ways. It's fun and free to play. Just like all your favorites from Chumba Casino. And Every spin brings 10,000 ways to keep the good times going. Check it out and play for free [e-mail]. no purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law. CTs and Cs 21 plus sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Steve Williams]

When she said I don't dance now

[Ms. Singleton]

I make money moves.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That was a mission statement for a whole new generation.

[Kiana]

Respect. But that's not the Mount Rushmore. Listen, cash rules everything around me. When that line dropped, it changed the whole hustle. The greatest tracks are never finished. They're just debated forever. Introducing the Sprite living track list. 50 tracks that shape the culture from six decades of hip hop. Scan the QR code on a Sprite or Sprite Zero Sugar to see the full breakdown. Obey your thirst.

[Steve Williams]

Smart, right?

[Ms. Singleton]

At the time, of course, I knew nothing of this. I was still looking for him. While he, as I later discovered, was looking for a football team.

[Steve Williams]

You really have a football team here, kid?

[Father Burke]

Oh, sure, Mr. William.

[Steve Williams]

You bet I do. You go to the games? I have to, sir. I'm the captain. Captain, huh? What do you weigh? 129, sir. Without my glasses. Now I'll show you our playing field, Mr. Williams.

[Father Burke]

It. It's right out this door.

[Steve Williams]

There you are. Quite adequate, I believe, Father Malone. This is the field.

[Father Burke]

Dandy little layout, eh?

[Steve Williams]

When do you Pick the strawberries. This way, boys. Everyone over here, please. What system do you use, Father?

[Father Burke]

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. However, usually the others do it to us first. Fellas, I want you to meet your new coach.

[Steve Williams]

This is Steve Williams, boys.

[Father Burke]

He's coached at some of the country's leading universities for short intervals and we're very happy to have him at St. Anthony.

[Steve Williams]

Anybody here know how to kick a football?

[Father Burke]

Oh, I do the kicking, coach.

[Steve Williams]

Well, get out there and show me and you backs received. The linemen can practice blocking. All right, now get out there. How'd you do last season, Father? Oh, rather well. We showed up for every game. Just raw courage, huh? Oh, what are you waiting for? You have her ball, sir. It's the only one we have. Oh, Here. And don't bruise it.

[Carol Williams]

This is it, Pop. This where we're gonna live?

[Steve Williams]

Yeah, this is it, honey. Up here at the top of the chapel tower, Father Peterson said we have a very fine view.

[Carol Williams]

Oh, brother, those stairs. I wonder who lived here last.

[Steve Williams]

The hunchback of Notre Dame. How was school today?

[Carol Williams]

All fine. How was football today?

[Steve Williams]

Just keep in training, kid. I'm gonna need you at left guard.

[Carol Williams]

Bunch of bums, huh?

[Steve Williams]

Well, at least they're willing bums, Pop.

[Carol Williams]

I'm sorry. I got the end of it.

[Steve Williams]

Oh, go to bed.

[Carol Williams]

Why don't we blow?

[Steve Williams]

Because the court's gonna be looking for us. And when they find us, I want a better address than the pool room.

[Carol Williams]

Don't it give you the creep, sleeping in a chapel after taking her three grand?

[Steve Williams]

Now, look, this is the musical comedy college and nobody can save it except Rodgers and Hammerstein. I couldn't help him if I wanted to. And I go to bed.

[Ms. Singleton]

Steve.

[Steve Williams]

Yeah?

[Carol Williams]

Ann couldn't really take me away from you, could she?

[Steve Williams]

Now, look, why don't you quit trying to carry the world around on your shoulders? You're only 11 years old. Wait till you're 12. And stop worrying about the school and the church and taking their money. Not gonna spoil my sleep. I'm so tired.

[Carol Williams]

Top.

[Father Burke]

Top.

[Carol Williams]

What's that?

[Steve Williams]

Chapel bells. It seems we're right under him.

[Carol Williams]

Guess that was ten o', clock, huh?

[Steve Williams]

Yeah. And I go to sleep. We got a solid 59 minutes to repent. Him.

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, I finally ran down Mr. Williams about a month later. He was out on the football field. I waited until they were through practice.

[Steve Williams]

So it's you. Well, welcome to St. Anthony's Officer.

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, I must say your change of address is quite an improvement. But you neglected to notify the court.

[Steve Williams]

Strictly an oversight.

[Ms. Singleton]

Apparently my little visit had some effect on you.

[Steve Williams]

You'd be surprised what effect it had. I'm going to find it hard to resist an officer from now on.

[Ms. Singleton]

Now, if you would just take a sensible viewpoint regarding Mrs. McCormick's visitation. Right.

[Steve Williams]

Not a chance.

[Ms. Singleton]

Mr. Williams, why are you so stubborn about Carol's mother?

[Steve Williams]

Stubborn guy, I guess. Comes natural.

[Ms. Singleton]

I didn't mean to pry. I just hoped for more information so I'd have a better understanding of the situation. Well, you leave me no choice but to report in favor of Mrs. McCormick's complaint.

[Steve Williams]

I understand. No hard feelings?

[Ms. Singleton]

None. Goodbye. I'll try to. Well, may I ask what this is?

[Steve Williams]

That is a whiskey bottle. I keep it there on the bench.

[Ms. Singleton]

How can you possibly set this kind of an example in front of those boys?

[Steve Williams]

You have a very wicked and suspicious nature, Miss Singleton. That whiskey bottle is filled with liniment. Oh, I shall light a candle for you. Steve. Oh, hello, Father Malone.

[Father Burke]

I was eavesdropping. Steve, I'm sorry. I should have left when she started to talk to you.

[Steve Williams]

Oh, it's okay.

[Father Burke]

Forget it. I just want you to know, Steve, I'm sure you wouldn't have kept Carol unless you were sure she was better off with you.

[Steve Williams]

Carol's mother is just no good, Father. I may not be much better myself, but I just can't let her take that kid.

[Father Burke]

Let me speak to Father Burke.

[Steve Williams]

I'm sure if he knew nothing of nothing doing. Whatever you've heard this afternoon is strictly between us. I want your word on that.

[Father Burke]

Very well, Steve. If that's what you want.

[Steve Williams]

Things will work out one way or another. They always do.

[Carol Williams]

Good morning, Father Burke.

[Father Burke]

Ten o'. Clock. Aren't you a little late for school, Carol?

[Carol Williams]

Oh, well, yes. That's the way I look at it, too. So I figured I'd go up to Yankee Stadium.

[Father Burke]

Oh, and what are they teaching up there?

[Carol Williams]

Yanks versus Cleveland? It's a crucial.

[Father Burke]

Carol. Carol, I want to talk to you. The truant officer called on me yesterday. He. He seemed a little upset.

[Carol Williams]

Well. Well, if I had to chase kids for a living, I couldn't sleep nights either.

[Father Burke]

Carol, I'm sure your father wants you to have an education.

[Carol Williams]

What did it ever do for him? Sure, he worked his way through college. So what? So he coached football here and bankrupt you.

[Father Burke]

I was hoping you'd help us change.

[Carol Williams]

In six months? It takes four years to get a decent schedule.

[Father Burke]

Four years?

[Carol Williams]

It's a big club to book you at all. Gee, I thought Everybody knew that.

[Father Burke]

Well, now, you see, if you don't go to school, you might grow up to be as ignorant as I am.

[Carol Williams]

Look, father, the way I see it, all you have to do is learn how to act things. Figure out when people are cheating you. I add pretty good.

[Father Burke]

You know something? I've spent 60 years of my life in schools and I can't add it all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I just remembered I have a very important engagement.

[Carol Williams]

That's okay, Father. See you in church.

[Father Burke]

I'm very sorry, Father Burke, but the cardinal is in New York for such a short time. You really should have had an appointment. Yes, I know. I. I know, but matters come up suddenly and I thought. Reservations for Chicago? Oh, yes, your eminence, everything has. Father Burke. Why didn't you tell me he was out? Well, I. Oh, we didn't want to disturb you, your eminence. You're in New York so seldom. Why all the formality, father? This doesn't sound like the man who failed me in English history. I was merely adopting the reverential tone customary with your high office. And if you had any real dignity, you'd expect it. Now, that's the Father Burke I used to know. How can I help you, Father? I have an idea of how we could enable St Anthony's College to continue. Your Eminence. Father Burke, I feel just as badly as you do about the passing of St. Anthony's but that's entirely in the provincial's hands. I can't interfere. Yes, but if we could make St Anthony pay its own way. In that case, it'll be a pleasure to help the provincial see the light. What is your Machiavellian plan? Well, my staff looks upon it as another indication of my senility. Are you familiar with the game of football, that brutal sport? Well, many universities aid themselves financially by engaging in it. Indeed, I'd hope to do the same. But do you know it takes four years to get a decent schedule? If the big clubs will book your talk. Well, how can I be of assistance? Well, I thought perhaps you might drop a gentle hint to some of our larger institutions to look favorably upon the plight of St. Anthony. To have them book you. Oh, well, I really shouldn't have asked.

[Steve Williams]

Well, I'll do anything I can for you.

[Father Burke]

I'll see how much influence I really have. Excuse me, your eminence, but we'll be late for the appointment. Oh, well, I. I'll leave you now, then. Oh, no, father.

[Steve Williams]

You're going along as our guest.

[Father Burke]

Where are we Going Yankee Stadium. The Yankees are playing Cleveland. Ought to be a splendid game, Father. Well, naturally, it's a crucial.

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, by the time the commencement exercises were held, Father Burke was able to announce the fall football schedule.

[Father Burke]

And now I am sure you will all be interested in a recent communication from his eminence the Cardinal. He has written the following. My dear Father Burke, concerning my recent appointment as graduate manager of athletics for St. Anthony's College, I am happy to report the following schedule for next September 20, Santa Carla University. September 27, Holy Cross. October 4, Villanova. October 7 at South Bend, the University of Notre dame.

[Steve Williams]

Father Malone.

[Father Burke]

Mr. Williams, what is it? Are you ill?

[Steve Williams]

Couldny of both. One Protestant school. School Just for a breather.

[Father Burke]

Surely you will reconsider.

[Steve Williams]

I told you, I'm leaving town. I won't be a party to this homicide. Why, with the material you have here at St. Anthony's you couldn't whip Basser a tiddly winks.

[Father Burke]

You flipped your lids.

[Steve Williams]

Sure, you have a skill, but how about the players?

[Father Burke]

Players?

[Steve Williams]

Right now we've got 15 boys playing football who ought to be practicing their ping pong. We need a squad of at least 40. They've got to be big, they've got to be strong, and they've got to have experience.

[Father Burke]

Well, now, isn't that up to you, Mr. Williams? I've told you we're giving you an absolutely free hand.

[Steve Williams]

Then you'd better shake it right now because I'm leaving. It's nice to have known you gentlemen.

[Carol Williams]

Where are we going, Pop?

[Steve Williams]

As far as our bankroll will take us upstate where we can hide away from our little friend from the probation bureau.

[Carol Williams]

Do we know anybody up there?

[Steve Williams]

Oh, I've got a friend in Rochester. He owns a bar and grill.

[Carol Williams]

School room attached?

[Steve Williams]

Sure.

[Father Burke]

Well, what's the matter?

[Carol Williams]

Nothing. You know, St. Anthony's got a schedule now that any school would be proud

[Steve Williams]

of, including the Matawan home for the ages.

[Carol Williams]

But you have all something to get ready.

[Steve Williams]

Three months to build up that kind of a team, we'd be slaughtered. The sports writers would like it though. They could put me in the funny papers right next to little Abner.

[Carol Williams]

He could do it though. He just could do it.

[Steve Williams]

You're beginning to sound like a member of the order. Pop, please, honey, be sensible. You know football? How could I possibly?

[Father Burke]

You're pretty happy here, huh?

[Ms. Singleton]

Huh?

[Steve Williams]

You want to stay here?

[Carol Williams]

Uh huh.

[Steve Williams]

Okay, junior, if that's the way you want it.

[Father Burke]

Okay.

[Carol Williams]

Oh, Steve. Pop. Thanks.

[Ms. Singleton]

A couple of days later, Steve Williams was in the athletics office. Of a very large university up in New England. He went there to talk to two old friends.

[Father Burke]

But I got a great setup here. Backfield coach.

[Steve Williams]

And I got a four year deal to coach a line. Okay, fellas, I just thought I'd sound you out. I wouldn't want to take you away from your soft touch here. These your files, Moose? Yeah.

[Father Burke]

We got a report in these files. And every prep and high school kid has kicked the ball over 10 yards. And the name of the kid who caught it.

[Steve Williams]

I wonder how many of these kids are gonna nail down, huh?

[Father Burke]

They've already been nailed a good one.

[Steve Williams]

Well, they don't get loose when they hear my offer.

[Father Burke]

What'll that be? Room and board.

[Steve Williams]

There's going to be no employer employee relationships. At St. Anthony's everybody's going into business for himself.

[Father Burke]

Yeah, what's the deal?

[Steve Williams]

Well, at my new alma mater, they don't even know what time it is. All they're after are gate receipts.

[Father Burke]

So?

[Steve Williams]

So we're going to cut up all the angles for ourselves. Parking programs, hot dogs, advertising, penance and the pay washrooms. Everybody's going to be a member of the firm and split the profits. This will be the first cooperative football team in history.

[Father Burke]

Ain't that socialism? Not if we can get in on it.

[Steve Williams]

I thought you were so happy here.

[Father Burke]

Look, just for once we'd like to make as much as the play.

[Steve Williams]

Let's get to work and clean out those files. Oh, Steve, no, we can't swipe those files.

[Father Burke]

This is the Ivy League.

[Steve Williams]

Please, I live upstairs in mature. Just hand me the box to dump them in. All right. Now, what about this one? He sure looks good in this photograph.

[Father Burke]

We got him, Steve. I sent him up yesterday.

[Steve Williams]

All state tackle, it says.

[Father Burke]

Of course he didn't graduate.

[Steve Williams]

Then we'll print him a diploma.

[Father Burke]

That looks like we got everything but a passer.

[Steve Williams]

What happened to that kid from Scranton?

[Father Burke]

One of the California schools got him first. Yeah, I think they made his old man vice president of the bank.

[Steve Williams]

Yeah, there's a good passer in the Canadian League, Miller.

[Father Burke]

Oh, now take it easy, Steve. He's a pro.

[Steve Williams]

Give him a crew haircut and sign him Jack. Now, remember, we can't just win our first game. We're going to have to roll up a big score. We don't draw flies.

[Father Burke]

How do you roll up a big score against Santa Cara, number one on the west coast?

[Steve Williams]

Summer school.

[Father Burke]

Summer school?

[Steve Williams]

Our own brand. Eight classes a day, all football. Santa Carla, Notre Dame and Holy Cross can't practice in the summertime. Conference rules. That gives us a three month jump on them. By September, we ought to be able to take on the Chicago Bears, even if they use real Bears. We may fade in the stretch, gentlemen, but brother, we'll thump them in those openers.

[Father Burke]

What happens if our boys don't want to give up their summers for training?

[Steve Williams]

Oh, they'll train all right. We're getting them. Only because they want to make some money. Big money. We don't have a squad of college boys. We've got a squad of stockholders. Hail to Alma Mater Hail, all hail to thee.

[Ms. Singleton]

By the following September, the moss covered walls of St. Anthony's College was hiding one of the biggest, toughest football teams in the country and potentially the best paid. But so far, no one seemed to know the difference.

[Steve Williams]

Drew McIntyre here from WWE. Wielding the Claymore can be a life of chaos, but I'm not dominating in the ring. Chumba Casino is how this warrior takes a wee break. With hundreds of online social games and new weekly releases, there's always something fresh to try. And those daily boosts next level. Even my free time feels like Valhalla. So when life feels like a battle, kick up your feet, have some fun and let's Chumba.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No purchase necessary VGW Group void we're prohibited by law. CTs and Cs 21 plus sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

If the world were like a Sleep number mattress, everything would adapt for your comfort. Your coffee would never get cold, your flight would always be on time, and your mattress would always respond to you and your unique sleep needs. Sleep number mattresses are designed to respond to your body and shift with your changing life, helping you fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. To experience a whole new world of comfort, visit a Sleep number store or go to sleepnumber.com sleep number to a good life Sleep.

[Father Burke]

Then.

[Ms. Singleton]

A week before the opening game, Steve received a letter from the City of New York. It brought him quickly downtown to see me.

[Steve Williams]

How come you suggested this place? This, Ms. Singleton, happens to be a saloon.

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, I thought we could talk more comfortably in a place better suited to your manners. Now, drink your highball and quiet your nerves.

[Steve Williams]

You know, you're actually showing signs of being human. Now, look, I know we're going to have to fight you when the custody hearing comes up in court, but what is this all about? This.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This.

[Steve Williams]

This letter you. You people sent me?

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, it means you have to let Carol see her mother on September 20th, or else you're in contempt of court.

[Father Burke]

That's next Saturday.

[Ms. Singleton]

Mrs. McCormick insisted. She said it was the most convenient time.

[Steve Williams]

I'm glad she still reads the sports pages. That's the day of our first big game.

[Ms. Singleton]

Oh, Mr. Williams, aren't there more important things in Carol's life?

[Father Burke]

And football?

[Steve Williams]

Not next Saturday. They're on. Oh, this is just peachy, isn't it? If I make Carol go see your mother, then I'm a heel. If I don't, I'm in contempt of court. It's the old squeeze play.

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, that's one way of looking at it.

[Steve Williams]

What other way is there?

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, it's just possible that Carol will find a whole new world that you've kept her from. How do you know that your way of raising your daughter has been right?

[Steve Williams]

Because I asked her. That's the best way, isn't it?

[Ms. Singleton]

How many pink dresses does she have? How many hats? She can't play baseball. And what happens when she stops being a little girl and becomes a young lady? Are you preparing her to meet those problems? I'll call the Carol at 11 o' clock Saturday morning.

[Carol Williams]

Pop. Pop, how come you're still up here in Rome? The buses are leaving for the Polo ground.

[Steve Williams]

Listen, Carol, you're not going to the game.

[Carol Williams]

What are you talking about?

[Steve Williams]

You have to go see your mother today. Alice is coming by to pick you up.

[Carol Williams]

Alice?

[Father Burke]

Ms. Singleton?

[Carol Williams]

You're kidding, huh?

[Steve Williams]

They have a court order. Even you can't fight City Hall.

[Carol Williams]

But today, the first game. How could you let them do a thing like that?

[Steve Williams]

A lot of things more important in your life than football.

[Carol Williams]

He didn't even put up a fight.

[Steve Williams]

Now quit yapping and take a gander at this. I got something for you. What a time bomb. What else? Well, how do you like it?

[Carol Williams]

A pink dress, huh? I like it fine. Only I want to go to the game. Pop, please. I want to go to the game.

[Steve Williams]

Put on the dress, honey. She'll be waiting for you downstairs. Now stay out of trouble and kick on the third down. Okay, okay.

[Carol Williams]

But I still think you're a stinker.

[Ms. Singleton]

So I took Carol to her mother. I decided to wait around. By 2:00', clock, Carol had all she could take. As a matter of fact, so had I. We reached the Polo Grounds and plenty of times at the kickoff. And they're right on the 50 yard line with Father Burke.

[Steve Williams]

Here you are, Father.

[Father Burke]

This robe should keep you nice and warm. Thank you for tucking me in. Next thing I know, you'll be burping me. Well, look who's coming. Father, brother procurator and father provincial. Good afternoon, Ed.

[Steve Williams]

Good afternoon, Father.

[Father Burke]

Nice. You got the tickets I sent you? Oh, yes, they're splendid tickets. And only $4.80 a piece. You said the college had to pay its own way. Or did you hope for professional courtesy? I understand the crowds continue only as long as the team is winning. Well, all our boys went to mass this morning. So did Santa Cara. Ah, yes, but ours outweigh them. My excuses, brother. It appears to. Game started. Who has the ball? The. The enemy. Smite them, boys.

[Carol Williams]

Smite them hip and thigh.

[Ms. Singleton]

Oh, they smited them, all right. By the time the fourth quarter started, St. Anthony was meeting 20.

[Carol Williams]

We're smiling them. We're murdering them.

[Ms. Singleton]

Yes, dear. Try to change. Your father has quite a few. Didn't you tell me they were all freshmen?

[Carol Williams]

Well, in a way. Let's just say they're working their way through college.

[Ms. Singleton]

I bet there isn't a coal miner left in Pennsylvania.

[Carol Williams]

Hey, Pinky, how's business?

[Father Burke]

Ah, great, kid, great. They're eating them like they didn't know what was in them.

[Ms. Singleton]

Friend of yours?

[Carol Williams]

Yeah. He's selling hot dogs like Steve said. Let every penny count. You see that? The junkies made her first down. Oh. How come you're not cheering?

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, you think I should? I'm not being paid, you know.

[Carol Williams]

Oh, well, how do you expect Steve to win game? The spotted Burke at quarterback is winning Philly Horses. Steve. Who thought you won? Her Am side or pop? Side.

[Ms. Singleton]

I'm on your side.

[Carol Williams]

Thanks.

[Ms. Singleton]

St. Anthony's won the game 28 to nothing. After the game, Carol took me down to the field.

[Father Burke]

Hi, Junior. How'd you get out? Who sprung you?

[Carol Williams]

Alice. She couldn't take it either.

[Steve Williams]

Well, it's very decent of you.

[Ms. Singleton]

Not at all. I've learned a great deal today. First about Carol's mother and then about you.

[Steve Williams]

I always figured you had possibilities. When can I see you again?

[Ms. Singleton]

Wednesday morning in court. Goodbye, Carol.

[Carol Williams]

Goodbye, Alice. And thanks.

[Steve Williams]

I don't like the way she said that.

[Carol Williams]

Me neither. Sorry, Pa, but I guess I spilled some. Be.

[Father Burke]

Sit down.

[Steve Williams]

I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, Father Burke. Well, I just got the final count on the profits from Saturday's game. $31,000 in round figures. And they're going to get rounder and rounder. Now, take a look at this. Advanced sales on the Holy Cross.

[Father Burke]

There isn't going to be any Holy Cross game. We have just canceled the entire schedule.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it is Ryan Seacrest here. Want to bring a little Hollywood excitement to your day. Take a few spins with Chamba. Casino's Brand new game Ryan Seacrest 10K Ways. It's free and features 10,000 ways to play giving you non stop action including thrilling bonus re spins and cascading reels. Every spin brings something new new. So step into the spotlight, enjoy the excitement and play [e-mail] no purchase necessary VGW Group void We're prohibited by law. CTS and C is 21 Sponsored by

[Shopify Announcer]

Chumba Casino this episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy. Just drop in some details about yourself and see if you're eligible to save money. When you bundle your home in auto policy, the process only takes minutes and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. Visit progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Father Burke]

Oh, I see.

[Steve Williams]

The day of reckoning has arrived early, huh, Father?

[Father Burke]

It won't be the last you'll experience either.

[Steve Williams]

Don't mind telling me who opened your eyes.

[Father Burke]

I mind indeed. It's okay.

[Steve Williams]

I think I know what made you

[Father Burke]

think you could save St. Anthony's by destroying the very things it stands for. I have already asked the provincial to close our school immediately. I'm sorry, Father. The thing that hurt most was to hear from a stranger that you've been buying players, forging records, dividing profits and laughing at those of us who were naive enough to have confidence in you. That you've even allowed a professional football player to wear the venerable colors of St. Anthony's Elmer Miller of the Canadian Professional League.

[Steve Williams]

Elmer Miller happens to be a kid who spent his last high school year in Korea. Combat medals from here to here. He comes home and plays one tinsy backwoods game. And what's the difference whether the kids make money on the hot dogs in the parking or some alumnus gets the concession. I've been through this so many times, like old home week, so let's just call it quits. I want you to know this, though. I'm not ashamed of anything I've done,

[Father Burke]

there's enough shame in me for both of us. Good day, Mr.

[Ms. Singleton]

Why, Mr. William, this office is officially closed for the night.

[Steve Williams]

Well, what do you want, Ms. Singleton? You've accomplished the following. Carol will be taken away from me, Father Burke's heart will be broken because St. Anthony's will be closed. And you've cheated some 40 kids out of an education they can't afford unless their football all begins because I looked at your legs.

[Ms. Singleton]

You've been drinking.

[Steve Williams]

And in the best Christian tradition, I'm going to return good for evil. Here's some advice, Singleton. Start winking at strange men. Drop your gloves anytime you're in an elevator with an eligible bachelor. Go boat riding with lonesome sailors. Go out on the town.

[Father Burke]

Let life rub up against you.

[Steve Williams]

And then maybe some man will do this to you.

[Ms. Singleton]

Don't you dare kiss me.

[Steve Williams]

That's what you wanted, isn't it? But to make up for it, you do clever little things like running to Father Burke and telling a my boy Sully the good name of his school.

[Ms. Singleton]

I did not go to Father Burke.

[Steve Williams]

No?

[Ms. Singleton]

No. You had me all figured out from the beginning, hasn't you? Four years of finishing school. I went to City College night. And I don't have to tell stories about you to hurt you, Mr. Williams. You're hurting yourself. Anything I've done was to protect Carol.

[Steve Williams]

Protect her from what?

[Ms. Singleton]

From growing up like me. I had a wonderful father too. Real pals. We were man to man about everything. I hardly ever realized I was a girl. By the time I was 10, I was a misfit. And when I was 12, I hated every boy who'd ever laughed at me. It was a big club. Do you know that this is the first time I have ever let a man get up close to me in all of my life? Now get out of here.

[Carol Williams]

Yes, sir.

[Steve Williams]

Is Mrs. McCormick in?

[Ms. Singleton]

Is she expecting you, sir?

[Steve Williams]

I paid two bucks for an invitation 12 years ago.

[Ms. Singleton]

What do you do?

[Steve Williams]

I surrender, dear.

[Ms. Singleton]

Get out.

[Steve Williams]

Everybody tells me to get out. Not until I talk to you.

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, be quick about it. We have guests inside.

[Steve Williams]

I'm giving Carol up. Congratulations.

[Ms. Singleton]

How touching.

[Steve Williams]

Well, maybe it's best for her. I see no sense in dragging her through a court trial. Tomorrow I'll send her away to a good school somewhere.

[Ms. Singleton]

And you expect me to agree to that?

[Steve Williams]

Why not? You don't wanna. You get tired of her before she was two months old.

[Ms. Singleton]

You're only giving her up because you know you're lit. I want you to bring Carol into court. I want her to hear all about her fine, upstanding father. Have you seen the probation before?

[Father Burke]

Yes, William. It should have been nicer to dear Miss Singleton.

[Ms. Singleton]

Oh, relax, Harold. I can handle this character. Incidentally, See, now that I've told Father Burke the facts of life about your brand in particular, you couldn't get custody of a cocker sandal.

[Father Burke]

Don't take all the credit, darling. I dialed the number, didn't I?

[Steve Williams]

Oh, you did, huh?

[Ms. Singleton]

You know, Williams, I'm not overly fond

[Father Burke]

of having your daughter in my house. And I hope you realize what a sacrifice I'm making. I see no reason why Carol should grow up to be the same kind of tramp that you are.

[Steve Williams]

Just add that to the other charges. Annie, I'll see you in court.

[Father Burke]

Now, just one moment, Mr. Williams. As judge of this court, I'll conduct the proceedings exactly as I see fit.

[Steve Williams]

All I was trying to do, your honor, was.

[Ms. Singleton]

You heard the judge.

[Carol Williams]

Shut up.

[Father Burke]

Perhaps you'd better wait in my chambers. We don't like a child to see how foolish adults can be.

[Carol Williams]

Well, it isn't exactly a secret, you, Honor. I might as well stay.

[Father Burke]

Counsel for Mrs. McCormick will continue. Yes, I should like to read the concluding paragraph of the probation officer's report.

[Steve Williams]

It is my opinion that the father

[Father Burke]

has a degrading influence upon the child and that the only cost left of the court is to deliver her into the custody of her mother. Now. Your Honor, in view of this report, we feel.

[Steve Williams]

Honor.

[Father Burke]

What now, Mr. Williams?

[Steve Williams]

Before this railroad station closes, may I question the author of this report?

[Father Burke]

That's your privilege.

[Ms. Singleton]

If you insist.

[Steve Williams]

I do. Ms. Singleton, will you tell this court if you ever saw me hit my daughter?

[Ms. Singleton]

No, of course not.

[Steve Williams]

Or deprive her of food, clothing and schooling?

[Ms. Singleton]

No.

[Steve Williams]

Anytime you've seen us together, did she seem unhappy?

[Ms. Singleton]

No.

[Steve Williams]

Do you think it's a crime for a father to treat his daughter as an equal?

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, there are some authorities that they. Not available.

[Steve Williams]

She shows signs of vitamin deficiency.

[Ms. Singleton]

Your Honor, Am I allowed to get a word in?

[Father Burke]

Oh, I lost control of this hearing an hour ago. Ask him.

[Ms. Singleton]

May I tell you that I came to this courtroom mainly to repudiate that report?

[Father Burke]

Your Honor, that report was filed under oath.

[Ms. Singleton]

I believed it when I wrote it.

[Steve Williams]

When was that?

[Ms. Singleton]

Friday.

[Steve Williams]

And I could have been trying a murder case this week.

[Ms. Singleton]

Stay with it, Mr. Crummett. You may be.

[Father Burke]

Ms. Singleton, am I to understand your denying your sworn word?

[Ms. Singleton]

Your Honor, I've only just begun to realize how deep, deeply Mr. Williams cared for his daughter. It's obvious to me now that I've spent most of my time investigating the wrong party. I deliberately looked the other way while I allowed Mrs. McCormick to use me for her own purposes. Finally clear to me that she has no real affection for her own child. That her only purpose was to hurt Mr. Williams.

[Steve Williams]

Ms. Singleton, are you in love with Mr. Williams?

[Ms. Singleton]

Your Honor, is that relevant?

[Father Burke]

I claim it's the only question now that is relevant.

[Steve Williams]

Well, Ms. Hill, remind the witness she's under oath.

[Father Burke]

You keep quiet. Answer the question, please.

[Steve Williams]

Hey, it's Bubba Wallace from 2311 Racing. You know what feels like forever

[Ryan Seacrest]

sitting

[Steve Williams]

on a plane waiting for takeoff. Good thing I've got Jumba Casino. With Daily Boost and Social Casino games on tap. This is the kind of fun that makes time fly. Why not turbocharge your downtime play [e-mail]? let's Jumba.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group voidware prohibited by law 21 terms and conditions apply.

[Shopify Announcer]

Now at McDonald's, get a five dollar McChicken meal deal or a six dollar McDouble meal deal. They come with small fries, a soft drink and four piece McNuggets. We're gonna need a bigger tray. Get more value with your meal deal with McValue.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher for delivery.

[Ms. Singleton]

Well, I can't be sure. I. I believe the answer is yes.

[Father Burke]

That is all.

[Ms. Singleton]

Ms. Singleton, may I say something else?

[Father Burke]

Is there anything else to say?

[Ms. Singleton]

Yes. Yes, there is. Your honor. No matter what my feelings are about Mr. Williams, he is still no fit father for a little girl. Sometimes love isn't enough. Believe me, it would be a tragic mistake to leave Carol and his.

[Father Burke]

I am halting these proceedings right now. Until further notice, I shall assign another probation officer, a man. And until his report's completed, Carol shall remain a ward of the juvenile court. Ms. Singleton, you will pick up the child tomorrow at her dwelling and deliver her to the children's center. This court finally is adjourned.

[Carol Williams]

I'm all packed up. Well, I'd be happy to blow this place.

[Steve Williams]

I hope we can sleep without those bells clanging over us.

[Carol Williams]

Well, I can always bang my head against the wall.

[Steve Williams]

Look, Junior, everything's gonna turn out all right. It's eight to five. We'll be back together again.

[Carol Williams]

Why don't we just duck out? How far is it, Gerard?

[Steve Williams]

Chester, my friend. With a bar and grill.

[Carol Williams]

Why not? I don't want them to take me away from you.

[Steve Williams]

You can't run away from life, honey.

[Father Burke]

It always catches up with you.

[Carol Williams]

Get him. We're leaving here just in time. Living in a church is ruining you.

[Steve Williams]

Now, come on. Alice is probably waiting for you.

[Carol Williams]

What is it?

[Ms. Singleton]

The church.

[Father Burke]

What's that?

[Carol Williams]

Nothing. Don't you want me?

[Steve Williams]

There's nothing I want more. In spite of anything I can do or you can do. You're getting bigger every day. And it's just a matter of time until your old man is the least important guy in your life.

[Carol Williams]

What's that got to do with it?

[Steve Williams]

Well, you just gotta quit looking at me like I was George Washington, Red Grange and Florence Nightingale all rolled into one. I don't know all the answers, kid. Maybe the judge has the better one.

[Carol Williams]

Okay, Coach. After all, you didn't make the world.

[Ms. Singleton]

Yes, I was waiting for Carol just outside of the chapel. And then suddenly the chapel started to fill up. Students and faculty, everybody in school was walking in. And then Father Dirk started to practice.

[Father Burke]

Called to chapel on short notice to give thanks for some extremely good news. St. Anthony's will continue in its bungling ways. Down through the years, the province has been kind enough to continue its financial aid. The most difficult thing for a man to admit is that he's growing old. It is an especially difficult thing for an old man to admit it. I now realize that during these past years I was not trying to save St. Anthony's I was trying to perpetuate myself in a job that had become too much for me. In my naive attempt to turn this stubborn old school into a money making operation, I asked Steve Williams to perform an impossible task. And he did it. He did it in his own way. And because he did what I asked him to do, I discharged him from his post, exposed him to public ridicule and took from him the one thing in life that he valued. I hope that someday he will find it in his heart to forgive me. As for our football team, it will go back to its old ways and its old schedule. And now, before I hurt anyone else, and more especially before I hurt St Anthony's further the wise discourse. Who me is to step down. Like our old chapel clock, I have grown picturesque but not very useful. So goodbye and God bless you all.

[Steve Williams]

Well, Officer, delivering the package again?

[Carol Williams]

That's me.

[Ms. Singleton]

Hello, Carol.

[Carol Williams]

Hi, Alice. We were listening to Father Burke.

[Ms. Singleton]

You got yourself a pretty good character witness, Steve.

[Steve Williams]

Oh, with my record, I'll need the whole school in court.

[Ms. Singleton]

I hope that someday you'll find a good mother for Carol. That's all either of you need.

[Steve Williams]

I know.

[Carol Williams]

Well, I guess we might as well. Shava. See you soon, Pop.

[Father Burke]

Yeah, you too.

[Ms. Singleton]

I wouldn't be at all surprised.

[Steve Williams]

And you still have nice legs for a copper.

[Father Burke]

Mr. Williams, there is a time and a place for remarks like that.

[Steve Williams]

Yeah, you're right, Father. Well, welcome to the ranks of the unemployed.

[Father Burke]

Only one of us. We'll be back here again next season.

[Ms. Singleton]

Me?

[Father Burke]

Read the fine print in your contract. It very clearly says that if desired by the college. This agreement may be extended for 12 months.

[Steve Williams]

I never saw that.

[Father Burke]

It's in Latin. Now, what about that game of Kelly pool?

[Steve Williams]

Come on. Only I've got a terrible feeling I'm going to lose my shirt. Here they are with all their problems.

[Father Burke]

Sol Dan Johnson and Joanne Drew.

[Ms. Singleton]

Not quite. There's still the problem of what to wear to the Academy Awards tomorrow night.

[Steve Williams]

As tonight were Carly Bears, Father Brett J. As Father Malone, Hans Con? Re as Father Provincial, Francis Robinson as Anne, Joseph Kearns as Procurator gil Stanton,

[Father Burke]

Howard McNair, Art Jacobson, Edgar Barrier, Jack

[Steve Williams]

Crucian, William Conrad, Tudor Marson, Tom Brown and Eddie Murphy.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest here. And if you're looking for some serious fun, head over to chumbac casino.com@chumba casino. You can play all your favorite social casino style games for free, anytime, anywhere. It's the most fun you can have on your phone or computer. No purchase necessary. BGW terms and conditions. 21 plus. You ever find yourself just sitting there killing time while you wait for the kids to get out of school? Feels like the daily grind is missing a little excitement, doesn't it? If you're looking to put some fun back into your day or gotta check out Cider Casino, go ahead, look it up. Cider Casino.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

No purchase necessary. VGB Group void where prohibited by law. 21/ Terms and Conditions apply.