A Change In The Weather 1988-07-17 Part 1 of 5 - Heist

Summary

Podcast Summary: "A Change In The Weather" (1988-07-17 Part 1 of 5 - Heist)

Introduction

In this first installment of the five-part series "A Change In The Weather," Harold's Old Time Radio transports listeners back to the thrilling Golden Age of Radio. Written by Eric Pringle and directed by Ian Cotterell, the episode weaves a gripping tale of crime, suspense, and unexpected alliances set against the backdrop of unpredictable weather. Featuring a stellar cast including Peter Craze as Jiffy Perkins, John Hollis as Bertco Madrid, Polly James as Henrietta and Louise, Norman Bird as Billy, and Richard Tate as the driver, this episode sets the stage for an intricate narrative that promises to captivate the audience.

Main Plot: The Heist and Its Aftermath

The story centers around two cockney gentlemen, Jiffy Perkins and Bertco Madrid, who are in the midst of executing a high-stakes bank heist in South London. Their goal: to crack the bank vault and secure a substantial haul of gold. However, the operation doesn't go as smoothly as planned.

At the onset, tensions rise as Jiffy and Bertco struggle with the vault's security mechanisms:

Narrator [00:20]: "Thunder, lightning, sunshine, Rain. Rainbow, storm and hurricane. Where would we be without a change in the weather now and then?"

As they handle the loot, unforeseen complications emerge. Billy, a crucial member of their team, begins to show signs of distress. The situation escalates rapidly when Billy unexpectedly collapses and dies from a heart condition he struggled with:

Jiffy Perkins [04:17]: "Oops. Watch his head. Sorry. It must have been his heart, Burko."

This loss leaves Jiffy and Bertco in a precarious position, grappling with the immediate need to secure their gains while dealing with the fallout of Billy's demise.

Character Dynamics and Conflict

The dynamic between Jiffy and Bertco becomes increasingly strained as they confront the realities of their failed heist. Their differing coping mechanisms highlight their personalities:

Bertco Madrid [06:22]: "When does our Coach leave, Jiffy?"

Jiffy Perkins [06:24]: "20 minutes. 20 long minutes."

Jiffy exhibits a mixture of panic and determination, while Bertco oscillates between fear and pragmatism. Their dialogue reflects the mounting pressure and the dire consequences they face:

Jiffy Perkins [07:06]: "I reckon we're done for if we stay in London."

Bertco Madrid [08:17]: "Well, I don't know. Hell's bells, Jiffy, there ain't nothing we can do."

Their conversation reveals a deep-seated fear of the repercussions from higher authorities and the enigmatic "big boss," adding layers of intrigue and danger to the narrative.

Side Plot: Henrietta and Louise's Quest for Adventure

Parallel to the main heist storyline, the episode introduces Henrietta and Louise, two singing ladies from Shropshire seeking to break free from their mundane lives. Their subplot adds a contrasting element of aspiration and yearning for change:

Henrietta [09:24]: "We will sing our hearts out to the winds and birds and the mountains will ring with music."

Their rehearsals and plans for an arts festival performance symbolize their desire for transformation and adventure, subtly mirroring the chaos faced by Jiffy and Bertco.

Key Events and Turning Points

As the episode progresses, Jiffy and Bertco decide to abandon their plans in London, opting instead to flee to the Lake District in North West England. This decision marks a significant turning point, setting them on a path of concealment and new identities:

Jiffy Perkins [08:26]: "Yes, there is. We can go north and drop out of sight."

Their meticulous plan involves burying the stolen money, adopting new personas, and distancing themselves from their past lives. Their dialogue underscores the gravity of their situation and the lengths they will go to secure their freedom:

Jiffy Perkins [14:24]: "I've worked it out, you know."

Bertco Madrid [24:26]: "Brian Moffett. Jiffy. Couldn't I be Pepe?"

Meanwhile, Henrietta and Louise's preparations hint at potential intersections with the main plot, promising future complications and alliances.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Narrator [00:20]: "Thunder, lightning, sunshine, Rain. Rainbow, storm and hurricane. Where would we be without a change in the weather now and then?"

• Jiffy Perkins [04:17]: "Oops. Watch his head. Sorry. It must have been his heart, Burko."

• Jiffy Perkins [07:06]: "I reckon we're done for if we stay in London."

• Henrietta [09:24]: "We will sing our hearts out to the winds and birds and the mountains will ring with music."

• Jiffy Perkins [14:24]: "I've worked it out, you know."

Conclusion and Cliffhanger

As dusk settles over the Lake District, Jiffy and Bertco successfully bury the money, marking their first step towards a new life. However, uncertainty looms over their plan's success, with lingering fears of pursuit by "the big boss" and law enforcement. Simultaneously, Henrietta and Louise prepare to embark on their own journey, hinting at future convergence with the heist storyline.

The episode concludes with the narrator posing tantalizing questions that set the stage for the next installment:

Narrator [26:07]: "How will Jiffy Perkins and Berco Madrid—sorry, Joe Potter and Brian Moffett—escape the wrath of the big boss? Pursued as they are by copper kettles and the attentions of the world, will their disguises prove effective? Will they even remember their names? Can they find their buried treasure again? Or will they fall in a lake? And can Henrietta and Louise find the adventure they so badly need to transform their lives?"

Listeners are left eagerly anticipating the unfolding drama, eager to discover the fate of both the fleeing criminals and the aspiring songsters.

Final Notes

"A Change In The Weather" masterfully blends elements of suspense, character-driven dialogue, and intertwining storylines to create a rich auditory experience reminiscent of classic radio dramas. The episode not only sets up a high-stakes narrative but also delves into themes of loyalty, ambition, and the quest for a fresh start. As the story progresses through its five parts, audiences can expect further development of these themes, deepening character arcs, and escalating tensions that promise to deliver an unforgettable listening experience.

Transcript

[Jiffy Perkins]

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[Narrator]

Thunder, lightning, sunshine, Rain. Rainbow, storm and hurricane. Where would we be without a change in the weather now and then? Ah, yes. Well, fine. That's all right, isn't it? But what if it changes without telling you? Sneaks up on you like a traitor? Turns around when your back is turned? What if, even as I speak, fate and the weather have some nasty shocks prepared just waiting to take you by surprise? It happens. Oh, yes, it happens. It is about to happen to Henrietta and Louise, a pair of innocent singing ladies from Shropshire. It is going to rock to their foundations the guilty lives of a couple of cockney gentlemen who are at this moment negotiating a bank vault in South London. Little do they know it, but the paths of all a storm crossed. Storm tossed. Thunder, lightning, sunshine, rain. Anyway, a change in the weather.

[Bertco Madrid]

Hurry up, you two are freezing here.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Oh, moving. Okay, I'm moving.

[Bertco Madrid]

Jiffy.

[Jiffy Perkins]

I'm moving.

[Bertco Madrid]

He says we've got to make it look normal. But it stores heaviest gold. It's on. Just shut and open. I don't feel good, boys.

[Jiffy Perkins]

We should feel very good. But I don't. You don't look good, Billy. You're white.

[Bertco Madrid]

He doesn't look good. He looks awful. Yeah.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Hold on, Billy. We got the loot, see? We got thousands and thousands. The most we've ever nicked. It's the strain. You always take the strainage and eat an ollardy.

[Bertco Madrid]

Billy, blow this.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Jiffy, push, will ya? Look at him. Oh, God. I thought he died. Hold on, Willy. We're coming. Okay. E.

[Bertco Madrid]

My God.

[Jiffy Perkins]

They'll hear that all over Brick Street. Sorry. Right, look around, Bert. Go check. Safe, door shut, tools picked up, gate shut, everything. Ship, shape and Bristol.

[Bertco Madrid]

I could fight bulls.

[Jiffy Perkins]

What?

[Bertco Madrid]

In Spain? With me wages.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Spain? We're in a bank vault in south London at 2 o' clock on a Sunday morning with our hands full of other people's fortunes and you chat about Spain.

[Bertco Madrid]

I'm sorry, I just like. You know, Jiffy.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Yeah, you like the balls and the matadors and the ladies with roses in their mouths. Well, there's a sick matador propped up against that wall.

[Bertco Madrid]

Oh, here we are. Billy. Hold on now.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Jeez, I forgot the alarm.

[Bertco Madrid]

Oh, God.

[Jiffy Perkins]

I checked the wire. Jiffy. Get Billy.

[Bertco Madrid]

Get his arm. Right.

[Jiffy Perkins]

I'M sorry about you. And I'm siren. Every common kettle in London will hear that. Come on, Billy. We're all.

[Bertco Madrid]

What's he done now? Bill of just believed you.

[Jiffy Perkins]

I will c him out a bit. Billy.

[Bertco Madrid]

This is no good.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Look carrying Burgoyne.

[Bertco Madrid]

Give me a loop. All right.

[Henrietta]

Don't shout.

[Jiffy Perkins]

I'm going to shout him cool. This is heavy. You put ingots in that is what you say?

[Bertco Madrid]

Yes.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Right.

[Bertco Madrid]

Go like hell. Cause you know ghettos.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Jiffy, Shut the door. Which way do we go? Shut the ruddy door. Oh, hell.

[Bertco Madrid]

You hear that, Jif?

[Jiffy Perkins]

Of course I hear it. Which way? I don't know. Billy always tells us, doesn't he? You're right there, Billy.

[Bertco Madrid]

He's gone asleep.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Gord help us. You all right with him? Yeah, I'm all right.

[Bertco Madrid]

But they're coming.

[Jiffy Perkins]

We'll go down the alley there.

[Bertco Madrid]

Right.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Not that alley. This one.

[Bertco Madrid]

Now, come on over. Come on, Billy.

[Henrietta]

Don't worry.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Hey.

[Bertco Madrid]

Yeah.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Would you believe it? He's still sleeping. It put him down gently. Come on, old Billy. Wake up. We need you now. Careful, Bert. That's it.

[Bertco Madrid]

Heaven.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Prop him up. Found Billy. He's dead. Billy. You can't do this any. Jiffy. Dead?

[Henrietta]

Yeah.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Bring him into the shadow of the wall. Yeah, that's it. That lame. Softly, gentle with our Billy. Oops. Watch his head. Sorry. It must have been his heart, Burko.

[Bertco Madrid]

He had a bad heart.

[Jiffy Perkins]

And he worried a lot, didn't he? He was always worrying about the details. Driving us mad. Well, it killed him in the end. That was one detail he overlooked. Poor Billy. And as if the kettles weren't enough, BB frightened the soles of his feet. Did you know that, Burke?

[Bertco Madrid]

Billy kept us out of all that we didn. The Popper with nothing but a job.

[Jiffy Perkins]

What do we do now? I don't know.

[Bertco Madrid]

What do we do with Billy?

[Jiffy Perkins]

Let me think.

[Bertco Madrid]

What are we doing at Vanish?

[Jiffy Perkins]

How the hell should I know? BB worries me. Billy dealt with him always. And we don't know who he is. All we know is that big boss. Oh, God. What use is that?

[Bertco Madrid]

I'm getting frightened. Jiffy.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Don't be frightened. Think about balls.

[Bertco Madrid]

I'm too scared.

[Jiffy Perkins]

I'll look after you. Oh, flaming Albert. Oh, listen.

[Bertco Madrid]

Oh, will you, Jiffy Free? Yeah.

[Jiffy Perkins]

And one day we'll go to Spain to see the balls. Like Eming Way with Hemingway.

[Bertco Madrid]

Yeah.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Coming this way. Follow me. Run.

[Bertco Madrid]

What about Billy?

[Jiffy Perkins]

I will have to leave him. Run, Burgo.

[Bertco Madrid]

All right. It bring the money.

[Jiffy Perkins]

For gold's sake. Billy doesn't need it now.

[Bertco Madrid]

When does our Coach leave, Jiffy?

[Jiffy Perkins]

20 minutes. 20 long minutes.

[Bertco Madrid]

You're nervous.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Course I'm nervous. What do you expect?

[Bertco Madrid]

Well, I don't know why we're going north.

[Jiffy Perkins]

We've got to go somewhere.

[Bertco Madrid]

I don't know why we couldn't stay in the smoke.

[Jiffy Perkins]

We robbed a bank, didn't we? We've got the loot, ain't we? Bags of it. Taint our money. The bank will want it back, the Kettles will want it and the big boss will want it.

[Bertco Madrid]

Oh, we'll give it to him. Let him worry, Bertko.

[Jiffy Perkins]

I'm not too clever, but I'm a genius next to you. How can we give it to Bibi if we don't know who he is?

[Bertco Madrid]

I don't know. We could ask Billy. Oh, no. What you reckon?

[Jiffy Perkins]

I reckon we're done for if we stay in London. Listen hard now. We were working for Billy and Billy was working for the big boss. So rightly, it's his loot. He'll think we're stealing it from him. So he'll be looking for us and he won't ask questions. He'll be after us and we'll be running. And we won't even know if he catches us up.

[Bertco Madrid]

I don't like that, Jiffy.

[Jiffy Perkins]

If he was in a room in a bus station, Buffet said like this. And BB came with his tray and sat down there opposite us with his dinner, we wouldn't know. He could be talking to us and we wouldn't know. He could take out our gun under the table and shoot us in the bellies and we could fall down dead and we still wouldn't know.

[Bertco Madrid]

Wish Billy hadn't died. It ain't fair.

[Jiffy Perkins]

And that's why we're heading north.

[Bertco Madrid]

We could get rid of the money.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Oh, who'd ever believe we'd done that? They'd think we still had it and that's as bad.

[Bertco Madrid]

We could take it to the Kettles.

[Jiffy Perkins]

They'd arrest us.

[Bertco Madrid]

Well, for giving it back.

[Jiffy Perkins]

We nicked it, didn't we? That's an offence.

[Bertco Madrid]

Well, struve we. We could send it to them anonymous. Yeah, without saying our names. And then it would get in the papers and Bibi would read it.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Reckon we'd betrayed him giving his money to the Kettles and he'd come after us to get even.

[Bertco Madrid]

Well, I don't know. Hell's bells, Jiffy, there ain't nothing we can do.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Yes, there is. We can go north and drop out of sight. We can take the loot and bury it until it's safe.

[Bertco Madrid]

And then go to Spain.

[Jiffy Perkins]

We'll be rich. Just keep your voice down.

[Bertco Madrid]

I could buy an hacienda. Next to being a matador with the bulls, that's my favorite dream.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Yeah, well, all we have to do is get away. Here.

[Bertco Madrid]

Just a jiff.

[Jiffy Perkins]

What's this guy doing?

[Bertco Madrid]

Sorry, mate. Excuse me. It's all right, mate. There's no damage. I think I need my eyes testing. Gotta get his eyes.

[Jiffy Perkins]

It ain't all right. He did that on purpose. He's been watching us ever since we came in. How'd you know I've been watching him?

[Bertco Madrid]

Oh, well, there you are. People watch each other all the time.

[Jiffy Perkins]

You're too trusting, Perko. Your land is in a mess. One day. I've seen that driver before somewhere.

[Bertco Madrid]

Sometimes you get suspicious, Jiffy.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Only all the time. It's a nervous habit. On by terror. I'm paranoid, right?

[Bertco Madrid]

Oh, par.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Yeah. Right. I'll finish your tea. Let's get to the coach.

[Henrietta]

Where was I? Waiting at the church. Waiting at the church. Waiting at the church. Waiting. I found he left me in the lurch. Lord, how he did upset me. Cross the stage. No tapping your cane. Well, tap your feet as well, silly. Oh, yes. All right.

[Bertco Madrid]

Now.

[Henrietta]

Mouse again. This is what he wrote. Yes. Much better to get away to marry you today. My wife won't let me. He won't let me off. Oh, sorry. Cry. Oh, no, no, listen. Stop. Stop playing.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Stop.

[Bertco Madrid]

Stop.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Stop.

[Henrietta]

Stop playing. Henrietta. I do hate that no name, darling. I'm sorry, Henry, but who on earth is going to pay hard earned money to hear this? This awful row. It's robbery. I mean, why are we doing it? Because it relieves the tedium, darling. Although spending a sunny evening in a drafty hall in church Stretton. When we could be striding the long. Well, is this song quite the thing for an arts festival? I mean, it isn't art. It's all we can do. Now stop getting stage fright, Lou, and don't be so serious. We're only a fringe event. We will be appalling. We're setting ourselves up to be knocked down. And why are we doing it? Because we're bored. We're fed up. Because we're tired of being stuck in our homes at the beck and call of idle families we don't even like anymore. People who have sucked us dry. Well, am I right? Ooh, every word. So we'll bring the house down. Yes, yes, I know. But Lou, we must keep practicing now. Even when we're on holiday in the Lake District next week. Oh, we'll sing our hearts out to the winds and birds and the mountains will ring with music. All we'll have adventures. Little no Henry. To leave Stephen behind for two whole weeks. Give the slip to William and Richard. Just the two of us doing what we want. The mind boggles. Two mountain goats in jeans and wellies climbing the rainbow and slowly gliding down the other side into Wal Henry. Single dance, Swim your case. Just wait till we board that coat. Right, come on.

[Bertco Madrid]

This is a nice coach, Jiffy. Yeah, nice and fast, isn't it? But I'm a bit worried because we've got no clothes.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Oh, we'll buy some. I got a few quid.

[Bertco Madrid]

Yeah, we got thousands.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Oh, no, we don't touch the loop. We don't spend a penny until it's cooled. Why, they'll trace it, see, and trace us.

[Bertco Madrid]

I'm fault of that.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Well, box is clever, my friend. I've worked it out, you know.

[Bertco Madrid]

Well, I've been trying to do that but I didn't get on yet.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Well, don't worry, Burko. Be guided by me, right?

[Bertco Madrid]

Right, Jiffy. We'll be broke though.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Look, we'll get jobs and we'll disguise ourselves. I'll grow a moustache, a beard, do our hair different, dress different, take assumed names. We'll have new lives. We'll be new people.

[Bertco Madrid]

That's good, Jiffy. Yeah, that's very good. But where do we do all this? Where are we going?

[Jiffy Perkins]

To the north west of England. The Lake District.

[Bertco Madrid]

The Lake District? Where's that, Jif?

[Jiffy Perkins]

I've just told you. In North West England. Don't you ever listen?

[Bertco Madrid]

I'm sorry.

[Jiffy Perkins]

It's all right.

[Bertco Madrid]

Why are we going there?

[Jiffy Perkins]

Because nobody would ever suspect that two petty back alley villains from the East End would ever leave their cozy streets for a wild place of mountains and lakes and rivers and forests.

[Bertco Madrid]

It don't sound very nice.

[Jiffy Perkins]

This sounds ruddy awful. But that's exactly why we're going. I thought it out, see. I thought, where the hell can we hide? And I remember the postcard Aunt Ada sent me from when I was a kid. This is a great place to get away from it all. That's what she wrote. And there was a picture of sheep on a dirty great hill. A place to get away, see.

[Bertco Madrid]

I only ever seen a dead sheep in a butcher's.

[Jiffy Perkins]

They won't hurt you. You're going to be educated in nature. Berto.

[Bertco Madrid]

Can I say something, Jiffy?

[Jiffy Perkins]

Go right ahead. But I've sorted it all out.

[Bertco Madrid]

What about our folks?

[Jiffy Perkins]

Yeah, well, what about them?

[Bertco Madrid]

Well now, don't take on. I mean, I was wondering that. Can't we just leave it behind?

[Jiffy Perkins]

Yeah, too true we can. I've been waiting for the opportunity for years. What have you got left at home? Only your old man now. Deirdre shot a bolt and he makes you a lot of misery.

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Bertco Madrid]

He won't let me go to Spain.

[Jiffy Perkins]

He doesn't care.

[Bertco Madrid]

Well, I think he does, Jeff. A big attack. Just. He's just a whining old boy devil. He grumbles for me to weather. And I always reckon the Deidre run out because of him here. But I don't talk to him no more. I talk to Jose Pablo.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Who the hell Pablo.

[Bertco Madrid]

Smart Spanish goldfish. And Deirdre went. I don't know what I'd have done without you. From mate Jeffrey. I'd have been in the river.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Oh, that's stupid. Sentimental sentiment. Gets you into trouble. It breaks down your gum. Be hard man, Berto. Like me.

[Bertco Madrid]

Can you leave your lot?

[Jiffy Perkins]

Oh, yeah. This is a godsend. Listen, Virgo, I've never told this to anybody. There have been other men.

[Bertco Madrid]

Where?

[Jiffy Perkins]

No. With Gene.

[Bertco Madrid]

Oh, I'm sorry, Jiffy.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Oh, it's not your fault. It's been going on for years. I. I kept thinking I'd get used to it. But you never get used. Oh, I can leave home. It ain't home.

[Narrator]

It's true.

[Bertco Madrid]

You never talked like this before.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Well, Billy never died before. I never been in this position before. I just don't know whether it's a mess or a masterpiece.

[Bertco Madrid]

Maybe that's up to us.

[Jiffy Perkins]

You're getting very deep, Burger.

[Bertco Madrid]

Not me, Jiffy. I couldn't.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Hey, is that woman watching us? Nah, the one with her nose. Her chewing and nipping.

[Bertco Madrid]

She's not watching us, Jiffy. Relax.

[Jiffy Perkins]

And we didn't see any kettles at the coach station.

[Bertco Madrid]

Not away.

[Jiffy Perkins]

So maybe we got away. Maybe we really got clean away. But that driver looked at us.

[Bertco Madrid]

That's just in your head. You're perceptive.

[Jiffy Perkins]

What? Oh, yeah. Well, that's a family for you. To them I'm just a ferret faced bearer boy runs a crockery cart in the market. They despise me for it. But I'm telling you, Berto, I've got native cunning. I'm smart. Well, kind of smart.

[Bertco Madrid]

Yeah. You're the smartest man I ever know.

[Jiffy Perkins]

We'll show them all, eh? We got the loot to do it.

[Bertco Madrid]

Yeah, it's like a present for Billy.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Good old Billy.

[Bertco Madrid]

Yeah, I like Billy.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Hello.

[Bertco Madrid]

Give me the big boss. I want to speak to him personal. The big boss is busy. Tell him it's Ross.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Ross?

[Bertco Madrid]

Yeah, the coach driver. Well, tell BB I've clocked his rabbits running north. They're on a coach for Manchester. I expect there'll be a reward.

[Jiffy Perkins]

No, no, no. You can't trust anybody. Not coach drivers, not even your wife. Remember that, Berko, and you'll be a survivor like me. You hear? No wonder Deirdre took advantage. He's trusting as a baby, but he scares the pants off me.

[Henrietta]

My wife won't let me. She won't let me. There now. That was very good, darling. Distinct improvement. Right, good going home time. Amateur theatrical. Coffee mornings. Old time dancing. It's not a lot for life to offer. Oh, pull out of it, Lou. Go home and kill your husband. I wish I dared. And I'll kill mine. You're joking. Of course I'm joking. All the same, why are we both so unhappy? Because we're both still paying for old mistakes. You shouldn't be allowed to choose a spouse when you're young. You should be made to wait until you're too old to care. Oh, God help the Lake District when we're let loose in it. The church setting Ladies glee duo rampaging through Cumbria. Ready? Oh, I'm ready. We are poor little lambs who have lost our way we're little black sheep who are going astray Baa baa baa Two lady songsters of polar spree Doomed from here to eternity Lord have mercy on such as we Ba ba ba.

[Bertco Madrid]

Will the money get damp in the soil?

[Jiffy Perkins]

Do you think that it's in plastic bags.

[Bertco Madrid]

Well, damn. Got the notes.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Plastic is wet proof. Shut up and dig and let's get this over.

[Bertco Madrid]

Yeah. How much do you think we got? A hell of a lot. I wish we planted it.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Where could we do that? In Keswick Library. Right, that'll do. This hole's deeping up. The buried big bed. Climb out and pass us the money down. Right.

[Bertco Madrid]

O Jiff. You're Berry Billy too, eh?

[Jiffy Perkins]

Yeah. God rest his soul. Send the money down. Right.

[Bertco Madrid]

Jesse.

[Jiffy Perkins]

What?

[Bertco Madrid]

I can't find it.

[Jiffy Perkins]

What? Well, it's night. Well, I can't see nothing. Cold.

[Bertco Madrid]

Don't shout at him now.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Where'd you put it, you Darth bugger?

[Bertco Madrid]

Don't get mad, Jiffy.

[Jiffy Perkins]

I won't get mad. They're over there. No, not there. I mustn't get mad at him. He can't help it. All right? Right. Bur I'll get back in the hole and you pass the bags down.

[Bertco Madrid]

Yeah, yeah, I know they wasn't lost. Here's the first one. You got it? Money, money, money. Second.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Hold on. Right, Got him.

[Bertco Madrid]

Cool.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Waterproof. And safe as ours is till we're ready to collect. Don't shovel yet. Let me get out.

[Bertco Madrid]

It's cold here in the Lake District, you feet and it's dark. I mean, no lights.

[Jiffy Perkins]

You don't get street lights in a wood. Shovel faster. That'll warm you up.

[Bertco Madrid]

It's quiet. Get used to the traffic. Hey, Sounds of people in there. It's a noise.

[Jiffy Perkins]

What noise? What noise? Kerals. That noise. Oh, an owl. You bloody fool, you scared me up. Oh.

[Bertco Madrid]

I don't like it here, Jiffy.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Nor do I.

[Bertco Madrid]

What do we do next?

[Jiffy Perkins]

We cover this lot with scrub, Mark the place so we can find it again.

[Bertco Madrid]

Here, I was wondering about that.

[Jiffy Perkins]

And take these shovels back where we stole them from.

[Bertco Madrid]

Back?

[Jiffy Perkins]

Yeah.

[Bertco Madrid]

We never took nothing back in our lives.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Do you want to draw attention to ourselves to digging? Do you want to fuss sniffing for shovels? Things are different now, Bertco. We're honest citizens from now on.

[Bertco Madrid]

Honest? Funny.

[Jiffy Perkins]

After all, we find somewhere to kip down for the night. A barn or something. And tomorrow we start settling in. Get jobs, grow our disguises, get used to our new names. I'm Joe Potter and you're Brian Moffat. We keep our own initials, see?

[Bertco Madrid]

Brian Moffett.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Yeah. Right. Now find some scrub.

[Bertco Madrid]

Brian Moffett. Jiffy. Couldn't I be Pepe?

[Jiffy Perkins]

Pepe?

[Bertco Madrid]

Oh, that's a Spanish name.

[Jiffy Perkins]

But you're not Spanish. You don't look Spanish.

[Bertco Madrid]

My budgie ain't Spanish. But he's called Jose.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Budgies are different. You'll have to take my word for that. Calling you Pepe would draw attention. We don't want that, do we, Brian?

[Bertco Madrid]

No, Jiffy, no.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Right, that'll do. Now, nobody could find our treasure under that. They couldn't find a world under there. Come on, it's been a long day.

[Bertco Madrid]

Yeah.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Remember where this is, though. We got to find it again. The lake down there through the trees. And at the edge of the wood, we'll put branches in a form of a cross.

[Bertco Madrid]

Cool.

[Jiffy Perkins]

X marks of wood right here. Come on, Burgo.

[Bertco Madrid]

When we dig up the money, I'm going to Granada and.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Of course you are.

[Bertco Madrid]

I'm gonna see the Alhambra and flamenco dancing. There'll be castanets and I'll see them Spanish senior eaters clicking their shoes on the ground. And I'm gonna play guitar and run with the bulls in Pamplona.

[Jiffy Perkins]

You haven't got a guitar.

[Bertco Madrid]

Eh?

[Jiffy Perkins]

You're an idiot. You know that and I know that. But sometimes I wish I had something to believe in.

[Bertco Madrid]

You could share Spain with me, Jiffy.

[Jiffy Perkins]

Straight down the middle half of Spain. Well, that's friendship, that is. Come on, Pepe. Oh, forget that southern sump for a while. We're in the English Lake District.

[Bertco Madrid]

Oh.

[Jiffy Perkins]

And it feels like a foreign land.

[Narrator]

How will Jiffy Perkins and Berco Madrid. Sorry. Joe Potter and Brian Muffet escape the wrath and of the big boss? Pursued as they are by copper kettles and the attentions of the world, Will their disguises prove effective? Will they even remember their names? Can they find their buried treasure again? Or will they fall in a lake? And can Henrietta and Louise find the adventure they so badly need to transform their lives? Oh, surely, surely they will. There are many questions to be answered. Listen next time to discover what happens when there's a change in the weather. Meanwhile, Peter Craze and John Hollis played Jiffy Perkins in Burca Madrid Dillislay and Polly James, Henrietta and Louise, with Norman Bird as Billy and Richard Tate. John the Driver. A Change in the Weather is written by Eric Pringle and directed by Ian Cotterell.

[Henrietta]

Sam.