
A Change in the Weather 1988-07-31 Part 3 of 5 - Suspicion
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A
Every now and then I rinse it out and I need Downy rinse tonight and I need it more. My kid went through that and the smell never leaves. I don't know what to do. I'm always in the dark. The sweat and that sure smells like a dark bar. I'm downy rinsing tonight.
B
Downy Rinse fights stubborn odors in just one wash. When impossible odors get stuck in.
A
Rinse it out.
B
We present part three of A Change in the Weather, an unlikely adventure for radio by Eric Pringle. Our heroic villains, Jiffy Perkins and Burkham Madrid are now on the run not only from the police and the underworld big boss, but also from Henrietta and Louise, two Shropshire ladies who, like them, are seeking sanctuary in the Lake District. They're at risk too. Extreme risk from the ruthless city Nigel, who has been recruited by BB to track down the traitors who robbed him, retrieve the loot and bring Jiffy and Burko's days in the sun and rain to an abrupt and horrible end. And there's Detective Sergeant Digley of Keswick CID scouring Lakeland for anything that looks suspicious and cockney at the same time. We left Jiffy and Burko fleeing Henrietta and Louise and their own imaginations in a rowing boat across Derwent Water. What are you doing? Slow down. I'm scared. You can't row faster than them. Slow down, Burger. Take it easy. I can't swim. Your rock in the boat. Meanwhile, Detective Sergeant Digley, in hot pursuit of his inquiries, visits a confectioner's shop in Karo Keswick. Goodbye. Thank you very much, Mr. Krieger. Bye bye. See you. Can I help you, madam?
A
Oh, yes, good morning. I think I've made my mind.
B
Of course. Observe, Detective Sergeant Digley. Look at these two. Confectioner Sam Brown. Sam, the Cumbrian from the Khyber, a present from India to Keswick for services rendered during the Raj. Andy's customer. Look at her. Tourist 60 if she's a day. Plaits and shorts and a bum like El Vellyn, they don't care. Stick a fell in front of them and they're anybody's. And she's buying mint cake. Observe it, Giggly, take it all in. Observation is the key to success. We've been taken over by offcomers. Well, thank you, Martin, so much for. Bye bye. Excuse, please, the interruption, Sergeant Digley. Unfortunately, I still do not know how to answer you. All the time you ask me questions and always I try to answer you. Good man. But I Want you to succeed. Oh, I cooperate to the best of my ability. Because I am a citizen, am I not? And because I am a good citizen, I try to make sense of your questions. But please believe me, Sergeant, that is a very difficult thing to do. For example, you ask me, have I seen Londoners? And I say, yes, there are many Londoners in Keswick. They come every day to see our beautiful scenery. Our scenery? I live here, Sergeant. These are my mountains too. All right. But don't get too smart, Indian Jones. I'm not talking about any old cock and bull Londoners. Special Londoners. Special. Special for any reason. Special in the way they walk, talk, spend their money. Special because they're furtive. Special because they nick people's wives. I do not think so. And I'm glad. Those would be people to run from, not towards. Some of us don't get the option, Sam. And some of us don't want to because some of us bear a grudge. See, my name is not. I mean special in the way they look. Like this. Why did you not say you had photographs? To make it easy for you. Have you seen these men? These do not look special to me, Sergeant. These do not look like wife stealers to me. Whose wife would they steal? Which husband would be so stupid as to turn his back? Cut the performance, Sam. This is no Indian rope trick. This is serious. Have you seen these men? I do not think so. You don't think so? You got a problem, you know that, don't you? You've got curried eyes. Have you any idea how many shopkeepers all tell you as guest house proprietors and barman have told me that. Have a toffee, Sergeant. Thanks. I will. Listen to that lunatic. I'll have him. I bet he's a bloody Londoner. That I love London so. Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner that I think London.
A
Look weird. I suppose she can. You don't mind me talking, boatman? What is your name again?
B
Brian.
A
Brian what?
B
Just Brian. Look, lady, Louise is my name.
A
You can be coy if you wish. I don't mind. Hey, well, I just wanted to talk to somebody.
B
Oh, yeah, I'll get like that.
A
It's. It's Louise Bucknell. Actually, I. I live. I live in Church Stretton.
B
Oh, yeah?
A
Do you know it, Brian?
B
No.
A
Well, anyway, I live there with my husband, Stephen. Only Stephen. We have no children, unfortunately. Unfortunately, as it turned out. Well, that's enough about me. Let's talk about you. Not very busy today.
B
No, it's Too cold on the water. It's wind, sea. It's terrible out there. Wish I was in a caf.
A
Perhaps we might have a coffee together sometime. In a caf?
B
Hey.
A
I meant just for company. Talking.
B
Oh, yeah. I've got to get on now.
A
Sometimes one needs to talk. But you can't talk to a wall. You need a person.
B
I shouldn't be talking to you.
A
Why is that? Dunno. Because you're working. I expect I'll be seen chatting up women. Well, thank you for listening.
B
Well, it's all right.
A
It's Henry. She's my friend, Brian.
B
Oh, friend. She's nice.
A
There you are, darling. Oh, hello, Brian. I've just been speaking to the.
B
Your friend friend.
A
The waiter at the Rockwater Hotel. He's such an agitated man.
B
Yeah, he's not my friend.
A
Isn't it? Well, I thought.
B
Oh, well.
A
Doesn't matter. Well, come on, Lou. Let's get on with the day. We haven't many left and we're still seeking that adventure.
B
What a place. Bracken and moss and rock. Nature in the raw. That's hardly Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony. Ordnance Survey maps bear no resemblance to street plans. There are no names to go by. Where are. Ah, yes, this must be it. Honister Pass. And just look at it. Snaking up between those crags. All that scree. I'd hate to be here in a storm. Then it's down to Borrowdale. And so to Derwentwater and Keswick. It's time to report again to the boss. Our two friends could be anywhere, BB and probably are. Maybe we're barring up the wrong tree. Barring? What's he on about? You're better off in your cosy club, drinking whisky and reading your correspondence than rotting in this wilderness. The chase is rocky, bb. With mountains and rivers and waterfalls. We're hunting in the wild. Like those Western movies I watched as a kid. Makes sense. Nigel, for God's sake. I'm paying you good money, ain't I? The trail has led to the Lake District. What the hell would Jiffy Perkins and Berco Madrid go to the Lake District for? Nigel's lost his marbles. John, gather the boys. We got a journey to make. Get me a coat and some boots. And waterproof bazookas. Lakes, waterfalls will drown Em. This porter's freezing. A pool to turn a man to stone. Roll over, Beethoven. This is Brass Monkey Pastoral. I'm a poor little lamb who's gone.
A
Astray Ba, ba ba and ba to you too, darling.
B
Where did you spring from?
A
Out of Stone. I'm a Lakeland rock fairy. And so is my friend. Come here, Lou. Who's that? Who are you?
B
Name's Nigel. Oh, buzz off. I haven't any clothes on.
A
We can see that. You usually bathe naked in clear mountain pools. Maybe he's a merman. Are you?
B
I. I thought I was miles from anybody.
A
You're never alone in the lakes, darling. There are walkers everywhere. Unless the weather takes a turn for the worse, of course. And then everybody shoots off home, leaving you lost among the crags.
B
It's freezing in here.
A
Are your parts icing up?
B
Henry, I'm coming out.
A
Oh, let's go, Lou. I couldn't stand the shock.
B
No, don't go yet.
A
But why?
B
You can help me. Go to my clothes, please. They're beside the motorcycle.
A
Is this a trick, darling?
B
Do you want us to throw them.
A
To you in the water?
B
No. You see the leather jacket? Look in the pocket, the right pocket. That's it. There's two photographs.
A
Yes, I see them.
B
Take them out. Look at them.
A
Shut up, Lou. Don't say a word. We're looking.
B
Have you seen those two men anywhere about while you've been walking, perhaps?
A
Henry, be quiet. Who wants to know?
B
I do. Why? They have a surprise coming. I'm a solicitor. I administer a state, that sort of thing. And these two men are beneficiaries in a rather large will. I'm trying to trace them. Oh.
A
We haven't seen them, Henry.
B
What about your friend?
A
No, no, I haven't seen them either. We'll put the photographs back.
B
Thank you.
A
We'll go now. Then you can get out of the pool before your parts become stalactite.
B
They have already.
A
Goodbye, Nigel.
B
Goodbye, ladies.
A
Goodbye. Why didn't you tell him? Because he can't be what he says. Whoever heard of a motorcycling, nude bathing solicitor? But the photographs. Lou, the boatman and the waiter at our hotel. They look different, of course, with the mustache and the grizzly beard. But it's them all right. And they do know each other. That was such a cock and bull story, wasn't it? I wonder what Nigel really wants.
B
Them.
A
Oh, there's something fishy. I can smell it. This is exciting. It's a mystery, darling. A small adventure. At last, Nigel could be a policeman. He didn't seem like a policeman. Nor do some policeman.
B
Darling, you know that big bargain detergent jug is 80% water, right? It doesn't clean as well.
A
80% water. I thought I was getting a better deal because it's so big.
B
If you want a better clean? Tide pods are only 12% water. The rest is pure concentrated cleaning ingredients.
A
Oh, let me make an announcement.
B
Attention shoppers, if you want a real.
A
Deal, try Tide pods.
B
Stop paying for watered down detergents. Pay for clean. If it's gotta be clean, it's gotta be Tide pods. Water content based on the leading bark and liquid detergent. Gain Super Flings are here to take your laundry to the next level. Talking about Gain Super Flings. Super sized laundry packs. These things are huge. Super fresh, super clean. Gain Super Blings. Gain Super Flings Laundry packs have four times the Oxy cleaning power and three times the Febreze. Freshness versus Gain Original liquids. Super fresh super clean. Gain Super Flings. Gain Super Flings for next level laundry. Record of observations made by Detective Sergeant Digley while working on the Brixton back job. Watch. No lead so far. Proceeding to hotels in porting scale to interview waiters and porters and upstairs maids, etc. Etc. There. That'll do for now. A full record of the sniffings of a first class police dog. So that even God Almighty can't complain. They reckon 3 million people visit Cumbria in a year. Look at this lot. Listen to them. Every shape and size of body swathed in hiking boots and anoraks. Sucking fishermen's friends strapped into rucksacks, clutching maps in polythene bags against the rain. It's like a regimental uniform, a universal fancy dress. The Lake District is a flaming transit camp. You'd think half the population of the country, let alone London, was passing through. Trotting up a few fells and dipping in tars on the way. They're all barmy fitness freaks. Earth worshippers. Daffodil. Daft Wordsworth has a lot to answer for. I like to strangle a lot. But hot. Got license for two or three at the most. But how do you find three cockney needles in a haystack that covers 900 square miles? That's if they're here, which I doubt. Two scared rabbits and a fox. If they have any sense at all, they'll be snug in their concrete burrows under the East End. Hey, you. I'll have that bastard for breakfast. Who is it? It's me, Brian. Oh, not again. Come in. Get him. Hello, Jiffy. Lonely again, are we? Well, don't be mad, Jiffy. Where to? Come mad. Why should I get mad? Just because you can't do anything right. No wonder your wife ran away with a dustman. I was scared our pictures was on the telly. What yeah, you and me. Mugshots. Straight up descriptions and all. Believed to be hiding in the northwest, it said.
A
Well, that's where we are, innit? Shush.
B
That's where we are. I come to tell you about it. Yeah, well, I might as well tell you now. We're in the dailies, too. Look. No, no, I don't like to see it. Yeah, Fame at last. But go. I don't want it. Oh, look, I'm sorry I shouted at you. Yeah. How'd they find out? It must have been that driver at Victoria Coach Station. He knew me. I could tell by his eyes.
A
Shifty.
B
We'll give him the balls. Yeah, well, that isn't all. It's more. Yeah, Listen to this. Yeah, this is the personal column. Bj, Our heroes climb the highest mountain and we'll follow Sign DJ There. Sign dj? Yeah, Jiffy. Don't you understand who it's for? No, Who? It's from bj. That's us, Burgo. You and Jiffy. Me? Oh, well, could be. Maybe it is. Bj. Our heroes climb the highest mountains. Well, we're surrounded by bloody mountains here. And we'll follow Sign dj. That's Deidre and Jean. Who? Our wines got it. But Deidre's got another bloke. She left me. Yeah, that was before you were worth £500,000. I mean, Gene hated my guts, but money talks, Bertco. Money shouts. Money's turned us into heroes. And our fan club's after us. I don't like that, Jiffy. Well, there's something else. There's more. What? Worse. Much worse. Oh, geez. This is the local paper. It has a personal column, too. JB the Catcher is coming. And so am I. Signed bb. Bb. Bb, you're catching on. JB is you and me. And a catcher is coming for us. BB's catcher too. Right. And BB is coming himself. Sending his orc first to pounce on a vermin and layers at his feet, so help me. Cool. They're both coming back. Oh, God Almighty and his angel of death. And they know where to come. This is the local paper and they're coming here. Oh, I've been worried, Jiffy all this time, but now I'm sick. I wish we stayed in a bank with Billy when he took bad. I wish I'd gone straight. Yeah. We shouldn't have run with the money. I get carried away. Why didn't you stop me? Oh, Ms. London. Yeah, so do I. These mountains hang over you. They make you feel small. Deirdre and Jean didn't Even like us. It's just the money, Burt. Go. And that's sad, really. Ah, well, I can go to hell. We got each other. Yeah, and a million quid. And BB and his catch are closing in. Well, we're not running yet. Not running. And we. I don't understand, Jiffy. Well, to be honest, I don't understand hardly anything. Look, we made a plan. It was a good plan. I think we should stick it out until we're sure it isn't working. Hey, maybe they're bluffing, Trying to panic us into running so they'll see us move. Maybe those messages are in local papers all over the place. Maybe they don't know where we are at all. Yeah, we just gotta keep our integrity. Yeah, integrity. Have we Our bottle. Oh, come on, let's get some fresh air. We'll get out of town. Come on.
A
Mine.
B
These pine trees smell like logs on the fire at Connie's club. I wish I was there right now. Virgo. Brian. Where the hell's he got to? Oh, no, rain. Oh, that's all we need now the weather's going off. Been lucky so far, but there's a change coming. And that Bert has got himself lost. Always as dark as a brush. Still, he's loyal. And there's not a lot of that around. Not around me, at any rate. I'll miss him when he's not here. Jeffrey? Oh, where the hell have you been?
A
Are you there?
B
Jeffrey?
A
Here.
B
I couldn't see you. These trees are thick. I got lost, you feet. I took a shortcut up some rocks and I got stuck. I'm afraid of heights. You get vertigo? No, I get dizzy. Why the hell didn't you tell me that before we came to the mountains? How can you have mountains without ice? Well, I didn't know. I never been on a mountain before. Sorry, Jiffy. Well, I'm sorry, crew. It seems weird both learning about ourselves. I find I'm allergic to rain. Oh, it's cold right here. Aunt Ada never said it would be like this. And then, jaws of bow a tail. Jiffy. I look down the lake at them all day. They give me the dead spoon. Oh, come on, let's walk before we catch cold. I suppose this place is all right. I mean, it must be us. I don't think we're safe to it. We're like fish out of water. Well, only we're in the water, aren't we? In speed and rain. I am sick of these trees. Trees is all right. Get trees in Spain, you know, forests. But we keep Seeing the same trees over and over. I think we're lost again. Yeah, I didn't want to say cold, wet and lost. And people come here for holidays. Law scares me, Jiffy and me. That's because we're not used to this terrain. I mean, street traffic and corner shops. That's us. Supermarkets and Connie's Club lit up in the gloom, eh? Hey, what the hell's that? Should we hide? Well, and get more loss? 12 of it, Burgo. We'll brazen it out. Oh, I'm tired.
A
Oh, look who's here. Both together. Little as little. Albert and Costello. Laurel and Hardy, Bill and Ben.
B
I let the flower pop me. Very funny.
A
Well, you do look a sight.
B
Well, we're lost. That is, he's lost and I'm lost. We just met back there in the trees. But we're both lost.
A
Well, Val, we're not lost, Are we, Henry? No, we're not lost. Shall we help them, Henry? Be their guides? Girl guides? Why not? Come on, you two. Best feet forward will set you in the right direction. Then you can go your separate ways again. And may the best man win. Best man win.
B
Now, hold on. But they're going to help us, Jeff. @ Joe. Who are the girls? Why? What's in it for them?
A
How extraordinary.
B
It just helping.
A
It's our good deed for the day. Are you worried we'd lead you into a trap?
B
Why do you say that?
A
Why do you think?
B
What sort of trap?
A
A gin trap. What a suspicious man you are. But I understand. Nobody ever helped me either. Oh, trust me. Come on.
B
What do you say, Joe? Oh, all right. Good.
A
March on down, darlings. Hi ho, hi ho. It's off to what we know. Lou is loyal, nice. She's a real friend. Most people I find are selfish, unfaithful, nasty. They kill you little by little or all at once. Well, now we've exchanged confidences and are no longer strangers, we might even be on the way to becoming friends. I'll tell you something. We met a man in a pool. He was asking about you.
B
No. So it was true.
A
He had a photograph. Without the mustache. And your friends without the beard. He spoke like a Londoner, Educated. And he had a motorcycle. Said he was a solicitor.
B
City Nigel.
A
Yes, Nigel. That's his name.
B
B B Sent.
A
City Nigel.
B
Brian. Brian Br. He comes like a Bombay duck with his feathers ruffled. Oh, come in. Sergeant Digley. I was on my way to Grange when you called, Sam. I was going hunting. Like a hawk? Like a falcon. Digley the eagle searching for his Prey. Hope you're not about to throw me a duff worm. Not at all, Sergeant. I toss you human bait. I'm not a cannibal. No. Nevertheless, there was a man in here this morning buying sweets. May I see those photographs again, please? Yep. We're getting crumpled. Worn with grubby fingers. Well, I'm not sure. Cretin. How kind it could be. This one. Madrid. A most big man. Indeed. But he has a beard. We could have grown a beard. He wanted toffees. He paid with a 20 pound note. This 20. I kept it for you. I'll check it up. You realize, of course, that buying toffees is not in itself evidence of a criminal nature. They were brown toffees. As brown as me, Sergeant. It's suspicious, therefore, you sending me up. Another man came in later. He was looking for them too. Looking for toffees? Looking for villains, Sergeant. He had photographs. The same photographs. What was he like? 30s, a pinstripe suit, motorcycle helmet. Motorcycle? That speed maniac? Who the hell is he?
A
Here's the lake, Joseph.
B
Oh, nice.
A
This is Derwent water. You're almost at Grange, so you're not lost anymore, are you?
B
No.
A
Keep the water on your left and eventually you'll come to Keswick. Well, we're off for more walkies. Come on, Lou. Goodbye, boatman.
B
Brian. Yeah, Cheers, Louise.
A
Goodbye, darling.
B
Yeah, cheerio. Thank you.
A
Anytime. If we can help somebody as we pass along.
B
Yeah, they're all right. And you? Well, I don't trust them. Hey.
A
City Nigel.
B
City Nigel. What did we ever do to deserve him? He's a shark on a motorbike. The coldest, most rufous fish in the world. All this is getting out of hand. Everybody's missing, moving in and we're being pushed out. It ain't fair. All these people after us just because Billy died. Well, I miss Billy. But we have to stick it out. We'll win in the end. Courage brings rewards. You sure? Yeah. Trust me. I do. Of course, we are friends, that's why. But. Oh, jiffy sitting Nigel. Oh, dear. The hounds have the scent and are yapping at the heels of our two foxes. Who will get to them first? Will it be the indefatigable? Vengeance is mine? Seth? Sergeant Digley? Or will BB sort out the sheep from the lambs and track down City Nigel? And will Nigel get to write the last climactic bars of his killer's control? And just how deeply embroiled in the fate of our foxes are Henrietta and Louise getting? And can they survive it? Will everybody climb a mountain and fall off. Next time. Fate begins to catch up. With Jiffy Perkins, played by Peter Craze, and with Berco Madrid played by John Hollis, and Henrietta and Louise played by Dilys Lay and Polly James City. Nigel is played by Philip Sully, BD by William Simons, the Shopkeeper by Amadou Dhu and Detective Sergeant Digley by Trevor Nicholls. A Change in the Weather is written by Eric Pringle and directed by Ian Cotterell.
A
SA.
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Air Date: October 17, 2025
Episode: Originally broadcast 1988-07-31
This episode continues the comic, suspenseful saga of A Change in the Weather, a radio play by Eric Pringle. On the run in the Lake District, protagonists Jiffy Perkins and Berko Madrid (Burko) must dodge not only the police and an underworld boss, but also two spirited Shropshire ladies, Henrietta and Louise. Hot on their trail: the fearsome City Nigel, hired by BB to recover stolen loot and punish betrayal. Detective Sergeant Digley investigates with a keen eye—while our heroes find themselves lost, hunted, and ever deeper in jeopardy. The episode juggles dark comedy, intrigue, and characterful interactions amid rain-soaked Cumbrian landscapes.
Louise, one of the Shropshire ladies, shares loneliness and her story with the local boatman Brian.
There’s subtle flirtation and the wistful realization of the need for real human connection versus the isolation of the landscape and their own lives.
Henrietta joins, and the ladies resolve to seek adventure, their determination tinged with the melancholy of fleeting time on holiday.
The episode deftly blends suspense with dry British wit, trading sharp dialogue and wry social observations. Characters’ paranoia, loneliness, and desire for connection are interwoven with slapstick moments and regional flavor, maintaining a brisk and engaging pace reminiscent of vintage comedic capers, while raising the stakes for the next act.