Leonidas Witherall - Murder on the Train

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Leonidas Witherall - Murder on the Train

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Episode Date: June 15, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode is a classic radio drama featuring Walter Hampden as Leonidas Witherall—schoolmaster, detective, and accidental sleuth who bears a striking resemblance to Shakespeare. The story, “Murder on the Train,” immerses listeners in a clever whodunit set aboard a night train to Chicago, where a convention of educators is unexpectedly interrupted by murder, mistaken identity, and a trail of intrigue involving a tell-all manuscript and a suspicious coffin in the baggage car.

Leaning into the Golden Age of Radio charm, the show brings listeners through suspenseful, witty exchanges and a tightly plotted mystery, highlighting the signature humor and ingenious deduction of Witherall and his sidekick, Mrs. Mullet.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

1. Setting the Scene

• Leonidas Witherall and housekeeper Mrs. Mullet are traveling to Chicago for a convention, taking the place of a sick colleague.
• The cast of passengers is quickly introduced as the train readies for departure, including colorful criminals and the mysterious presence of a funeral—complete with a coffin being loaded into the baggage car.

Notable Quote:
“Not that I'm anxious to be at the convention.”
— Leonidas Witherall (01:54)

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2. Introducing the Conspiracy

• A criminal subplot is revealed: Danny, Sparrow, and Margie argue over the theft of a manuscript, “The Big Shot,” a book that threatens to expose a major criminal's secrets. Tensions and threats are exchanged, hinting at a lurking danger among the passengers. (02:27–03:55)

Notable Quote:
“Every racket of his, every job he ever pulled… He’s liable to blow his top. Yeah, or yours.”
— Danny (02:48)

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3. The Train Journey and Dark Omens

• Mrs. Mullet is superstitious about the coffin on board, foreshadowing bad luck (04:17).
• Interactions between Witherall, fellow passengers, and train staff set an uneasy, comedic tone, with plenty of overheard arguments and double-crosses.

Notable Quote:
“Just my luck to be on a train with a coffin. They say it’s very bad luck.”
— Mrs. Mullet (04:17)

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4. Murder Revealed

• As the train passes through Cleveland, George the porter tries to wake a passenger in compartment six but discovers a dead body instead (10:05).
• Initial assumption: It’s Thomas Bridges, death by heart attack. But suspicions arise, especially regarding the dead man’s mismatched ticket and belongings.

Memorable Dialogue:
“That man’s dead. I’ll get my bottle. Dead? Yes. D-E-A-D. Dead.”
— Porter & Mrs. Mullet (10:06–10:25)

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5. The Mystery Unfolds

• Witherall quickly deduces that the dead man is not who he claims to be.
• The real occupant of compartment six is missing—likely switched with the corpse brought on in the coffin (14:00–15:20).

Key Deduction:
“The corpse in six isn’t the man who belongs there at all… Where would you look for a dead body, Mrs. Mullet?”
— Witherall (14:16, 15:14)

• Mrs. Mullet: “In a coffin.” (15:17)

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6. Opening the Coffin

• Witherall and Mrs. Mullet subdue Benny (instructed to guard the coffin) and open it, discovering Sparrow’s stabbed body inside—unveiling the body swap (17:59–18:20).

Memorable Moment:
“Why, it’s a man in pajamas and he’s been stabbed!”
— Mrs. Mullet (18:15)

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7. Culprits and Motives

• A tense conversation between Margie and Danny exposes shifting alliances, motives of jealousy, and greed over ownership of the manuscript (20:00–21:05).
• Witherall realizes that whoever holds the manuscript of “The Big Shot” holds the key to the murder (21:23).

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8. Witherall's Plan and Revelation

• Mrs. Mullet provides a distraction while Witherall searches luggage for the manuscript. He locates it in Danny Randolph’s suitcase just as the police board the train (22:24–23:27).

Climactic Quote:
“I found it in Danny’s briefcase. You killed Sparrow.”
— Witherall (24:48)

• Danny confesses: Sparrow had double-crossed him, leading to a fatal fight (24:59).

9. The Mastermind Exposed

• Witherall explains that the elaborate plot—murder, body swap, staged funeral—was orchestrated by the so-called "Big Shot," revealed to be none other than the unassuming Mr. Lear, butterfly collector (25:27–25:58).

Revelatory Line:
“It was Mr. Lear. This nice little man with the butterflies.”
— Mrs. Mullet (25:55)

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Notable Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• “Well, a man says nothing, nobody listens, and then everybody disagrees.”
  — Witherall on conventions (02:00)
• “When I get finished with you, they’ll put you to bed with a shovel.”
  — Margie, foreshadowing murder (07:55)
• “Coffins have been opened before. Body snatchers do it regular.”
  — Witherall, ever dry and witty (18:06)
• “Sleep that knits up the raveled sleeve of care… Chief nourisher in life’s feast. Sleep.”
  — Witherall, quoting Shakespeare in closing (26:36)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:51 — Introduction of Leonidas Witherall
• 02:27 — Introduction of criminal subplot: manuscript, threats, "The Big Shot"
• 04:05 — Coffin loaded onto train, funeral established
• 10:05 — Discovery of dead body in compartment six
• 14:16 — Key deduction: body switch suspected
• 15:17–18:20 — Coffin opened, true victim revealed
• 20:00–21:05 — Margie & Danny’s confrontation, motives aired
• 22:24 — Mrs. Mullet’s distraction, manuscript discovered
• 24:48 — Witherall reveals Danny as murderer
• 25:55 — Mr. Lear revealed as “The Big Shot”

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Tone and Style

The episode sparkles with the dry, gently comic banter and period authenticity characteristic of Golden Age radio. Witherall’s blend of erudition, endearing absent-mindedness, and clever inference grounds the story, while Mrs. Mullet's homespun wisdom and comic timing bring warmth and relief to tense moments.

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Conclusion

"Murder on the Train" is a classic, fast-paced whodunit that showcases the wit and cleverness of Leonidas Witherall as he untangles a cleverly concealed murder by spotting small details and keeping a steady, humorous perspective amid chaos. The episode not only entertains with an intricate puzzle, but also highlights the charm and enduring appeal of radio drama.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Don't open that coffin. You know, there isn't just a dead body in there. There might also be. Oh, the lid's coming off. Now we can see inside.

[A]

WOR presents the distinguished American actor Walter Hampden in the Adventures of Leonidas Withero. Leonidas Witherold's always getting mixed up in murders. You wouldn't think so. He looks just like Shakespeare.

[B]

It's his beard. And he's head of an important school for boys in New England.

[A]

He also writes thriller stories on the side. The Lieutenant Hazeltine Story. And as director of a school, Leonidas has been called to Chicago for an educator's convention. Hasn't he, Mr. Hampden? Yes. In his home at 40 Birch Hill Road, Dalton, Bill Shakespeare, as his friends call him, is about to leave for the railroad station. Valise, pince, Nez beard and all. And he's to be accompanied by the neighborhood housekeeper, the indomitable Mrs. Mullet.

[B]

Forget anything, Mr. Witherall?

[A]

No, I remembered everything, Mrs. Mullet. How about you?

[B]

Oh, I brought everything with me when I came to work this morning.

[A]

I'm still amazed at our good luck in getting Professor Murky's reservation for you. Too bad he's ill, of course.

[B]

My sister will be so surprised to see me. Poor thing, she's so sick.

[A]

Come on, we've just a few minutes to get to the station. Not that I'm anxious to be at the convention.

[B]

What's a convention like?

[A]

Well, a man says nothing, nobody listens, and then everybody disagrees.

[B]

Must be interesting.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

Your delegation using the whole car?

[A]

No, just half of it. Shall we go? Train leaves at 4:20. And it's 4:00 clock now. I'll take all the baggage.

[B]

Well, I can take these small things. Well, I hope there's some nice chummy folks in the train. Wonder who the other passengers will be.

[A]

Well, Sparrow, where's the dough? I'll give it to you on the train. Danny. You've been stolen. Me? Sparrow, it's almost five weeks. This time it's the McCoy, Danny. You'll get it. When's the book going to be published? In about a month. Did you change your manuscript? No. Just the way I wrote it. Huh? Just the way I wrote it, you mean. Yeah, you wrote it. Like Mahatma Gandhi, you wrote it. We went into that, Danny, too many times. I got the manuscript. You stole it. Why'd you get so technical? I gave it to the publisher. Margie swore I wrote it. It's an open and shot case, ain't it? Margie double crossed me. She knows it's my script. She helped me work on it. You using the same title for the book? Sure. The Big Shot. That's it. The Big Shot. It's a very hot piece of literature, Danny. When the great guy himself gets a look at that book, he's liable to blow his top. Yeah, or yours. I'm taking that chance. It's worth it to get back at him. Every racket of his, every job he ever pulled. It's all in there in that book. The book I sweated over. You'll get paid. Don't worry. You just be on that train, the 420 for Chicago. If I don't get it, then, Sparrow, I'm gonna cut your heart off. I know, I know. I'd kind of like to do it anyway. Just be on the train. You'll get the payoff there. So long. You'll get the payoff, all right. The final payoff. Track 8, the commander for Chicago. Track 8, the commander for Chicago.

[B]

It's 4:20, Mr. Witherol. Why doesn't the train leave?

[A]

Look out on the platform, Mrs. Mullet, and you'll find the answer. See the men out there?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Say, that's a funeral.

[A]

Well, sort of. They look sad. That's what's delaying us poor fellas.

[B]

Bet the dead man was a good friend of theirs. The looks are sad.

[A]

They're putting the coffin into the baggage car now. It won't be long.

[B]

Just my luck to be on a train with a coffin. They say it's very bad luck.

[A]

Crack. The Commander for Chicago. Crack, Egg. The Commander for Chicago.

[B]

Easy now, Rhett.

[A]

Easy. Don't drop it. Look sad, you dope. Look sad. It's supposed to be a funeral. Yeah. Hey, never thought a coffin weighed so much. All right, slide it on the wagon. The guys will roll it into the baggage car.

[B]

Now.

[A]

Here we go. Hey, listen, Benny. Why'd the boss want to pull a job this way? Ain't this an awful screwy way to do it? He said it's the only way and we gotta do it. Feuille de malt. We can't miss either. After the coffin's in the baggage car, I got the whole plan doped out. It's a good thing you got strong knives, man. It's a heart. I take these things for granted. Besides, Brain says if I miss, it's going to be awful sad for me. Hey, they got the coffin inside. Yeah, Yeah, I better get on there. Believe them. Hey, Benny. Hey, Benny. Don't forget, the baby we're after is in compartment six, car five. Yeah, I know. Horse is on car five too. Goodbye. Goodbye, Red. You gonna sit here by the coffin, mister? Yeah. I'm the guy gonna ride to Chicago with a stiff. Nice company I pick up.

[B]

Well, if you've any time free from the convention in Chicago, Mr. Withero, just drop over and see my collection. Finest butterfly collection in the Middle West.

[A]

Yes, Mr. Leah. I'll be all aflutter to see it.

[B]

My slate, isn't it? And here I've been talking almost forever

[A]

to you and Mrs. Mullet. Well, not forever. Matilia just seems that way.

[B]

Well, it was a real pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Mullet. Good night, Mr. Lear, Mr. Wither.

[A]

Good night.

[B]

I. I'm going back the observation car. I always take 10 deep breath. Breath of pure air before I go to bed. Puts new oxygen in the lungs.

[A]

See you in the morning. Help you with your compartment, sir? Yes, father. Thank you.

[B]

Well, I better be going to my compartment too. I'll be a number four, you know. Then there's the one next door to here. That's six. This one's number eight, isn't it?

[A]

That's right, ma'. Am. I'll make up number four, ma'. Am. Be back soon.

[B]

Listen, Mr. Wither, all you hear them next door, number six. While your arguments aloud comes right through the wall.

[A]

Okay, so I double crossed you. So what?

[B]

You low down rat.

[A]

Evidently they're not honeymooners. Don't tell the police. You wouldn't get the first base. The big shot's going to be printed. I'm the guy that wrote it as far as everybody's concerned. And you're just a nuisance. Now what can you do about that?

[B]

I gave up Danny on account of you. I helped him work on the book. Then I stepped all over him and swore you wrote it. And what? Cause you said you and I was going places together.

[A]

You gave official testimony. You can't perjure yourself. You're up a tree and I got you there. So what Stan.

[B]

He's on this train. Did you know that?

[A]

Sure, I told him to be here. Told him I'd pay off.

[B]

But me, I don't get a nickel.

[A]

Not a sin. Besides, quit chasing me around. You annoy me.

[B]

You don't really mean that. You used to like me so much.

[A]

Ah. Embarrassing. We better stop eavesdropping, Mrs. Mullet.

[B]

Why not? On your knives. Just when it's getting interesting.

[A]

Let go of me. You're getting that cheap powder all over my shoulder.

[B]

Don't you feel like kissing me good night?

[A]

Get out. You make me sick.

[B]

You don't want no part of me, huh? I get no money, no nothing. Okay, we'll see who wins the last round.

[A]

Oh, hang up, will you? I want to go to bed.

[B]

When I get finished with you, they'll put you to bed with a shovel.

[A]

Mrs. Mullet, that's hardly the sort of idyllic conversation to make. A nice lullaby.

[B]

Well, I suppose you're right. Well, good night, Mr. Witherall.

[A]

Good night, Mrs. Mullet. See you in the morning.

[B]

I don't like this train at all. People threatening each other. Then back there in that baggage car, that coffin. I can feel something horrible's gonna happen. Something that'd freeze your blood in your veins.

[A]

Tut, tut.

[B]

Good night, Mr. Winterall. Pleasant dreams.

[A]

Good night. Granger knows. When you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. Wake up, mister. It's 2:30am Coming into Cleveland. Wake up, George. Huh? Oh, yes, George. It may be necessary to wake my fellow passenger in the next compartment. There. But could you do it with a shade less violence? I've been trying desperately to fall asleep. Well, he's gonna miss Cleveland. I gotta get him up. Yes, but all you have to do is to wake one man. You're not supposed to blitzkrieg the train. He paid me $5 to make sure he gets off of Cleveland. I practically broke down his compartment door, but I can't get him out. Well, keep trying. The lucky fellow's probably a heavy sleeper. Good night. Good night, sir. Sleep well. Oh, I'll do it real gentle. Wake up in there. Here comes Cleveland. George, why don't you open his door and go in? Oh, it ain't right. I'm not supposed to do that. Well, if you're going to continue your present tactics, would you please get something for me? Why, yes. What? Small bottle of ether. Oh, I guess I better go in. The only way. Yes. Now I can get some sleep. I hope. Oh, my goodness. Oh.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, he's. Oh, my, my, my. Conductor. What's wrong, George? This is the man. The fella in compartment 60s. Oh, my, my. What is it? What is it? That man's dead. I'll get my bottle. Dead? Yes. D, A, I, D. Dead. Well, I hope your medical diagnosis is better than your spelling.

[B]

What happened, Mrs. Weatherall?

[A]

George says the passenger in the compartment between us is dead. Yeah, go on in. You see, I knew it.

[B]

I told her there'd be trouble.

[A]

Well, let's see. Come into the compartment. He's dead all right, no matter how you spell it.

[B]

Well, who is he?

[A]

I don't know. Say, that's funny. This man looks different to me. Different, George? Uh huh. Well, all men's faces change a little when they die for the better. I suppose so. Of course, I never did see him so good anyway. Now, watch out, George. Old passenger in six. He's dead. Yes. Who's this fella? I believe the phrase is an innocent bystander, conductor. My name is Leonidas Witherow. Anybody know the name of the dead man? Evidently not. All right, I'll wire the police at our next stop. They can take over from there. Now, let's look around, see who this fella is.

[B]

Well, you should let Mr. Witherall take charge. He's used to solving murders.

[A]

How do you know this man was murdered?

[B]

Oh, when Mr. Witherall's around, practically everybody gets murdered after a while.

[A]

We don't, Mrs. Mullet, and don't exaggerate. All right, folks, everybody go back to bed. Don't be holding your teacher's convention in this compartment. Say, why not let Mr. Witherell take charge? Yeah, sure, we all know him. He's sort of detective. Are you a detective, mister? You with a beard. Officially, no. Occasionally, by an odd and unpredictable series of circumstances. Yes, I. Serious. Okay, so you're a detective. Well, get going. Maybe you can help find out who this dead man is. Well, his is what? His Name's Thomas Bridges. 147 Manderly Boulevard, Boston. Well, hello.

[B]

Here it is. Code. It's a ticket, a return ticket from Chicago.

[A]

Chicago. Well, that's strange. So it is.

[B]

Well, why is it strange? We're going to Chicago, aren't we?

[A]

Yes, but this man asked George to get him off at Cleveland. Think he really was bumped off, Mr. Withero? Well, there are no signs of violence, conductor.

[B]

Mr. Witherow, I just heard. Isn't it too shocking?

[A]

Oh, yes, Mr. Le. Very unfortunate.

[B]

A heart attack, probably.

[A]

Some people will disobey mn. Mn.

[B]

Mother Nature.

[A]

Yes, they strain themselves so. Okay, Q.E.D.

[B]

who's been hurt?

[A]

This gentleman on the bed. He's dead.

[B]

Well, that's not why.

[A]

Why, that Thomas Bridges.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, Bridges.

[A]

Did you know him?

[B]

We met in the diner. And what's your name? Margie. Margie McIntosh.

[A]

Doctor, I think it'd be best if we all went back to sleep. When the police come, we can find out exactly what's happened. Good idea. Well, pleasantry. Excuse me, but could you tell me what's happened? What are you poking around for, Mister? I'm a writer. I sometimes do newspaper work. My name's Randolph. Danny Randolph. Man named Bridges just kicked off. Oh, I see. Well, look, could I just take a look and see? Did you say his name was Bridges? That's right. We'll tell you if anything exciting develops after the police arrive, Mr. Randolph. Well, I'd appreciate it. I'm down car 12. I'd like to know everything that happens. Break it up, folks. Everybody back where you belong. I'll turn out the light, Mr. Witherwell, and close the door. Yes. Well,

[B]

I'll be in the next car

[A]

if you need me. Oh, thank you, Mr. Le.

[B]

So will I, but I don't think I can help much.

[A]

Well, you never can tell. Oh, good night, Ms. McIntyre. Forget to tell me when the police come? Keep me up to the second. Oh, certainly, Mr. Randolph. I'll be in car seven if you want me, Mr. Witheroff. All right, conductor.

[B]

Well, I guess I'll be going back to my compartment.

[A]

Don't go to your compartment.

[B]

Why?

[A]

We got some work to do about the dead man.

[B]

Now, don't tell me you're going to go sticking your nose into this. You know, every time you get mixed up in a murder, somebody tries to strangle you.

[A]

Wait till the car quiets down. Won't take a second. Then we'll sneak into compartment six.

[B]

What for?

[A]

Well, I've been thinking of George's remark that the gentleman in the compartment looked different. Also the fact that the original passenger in number six wanted to get off at Cleveland. And the dead man has a return ticket from Chicago.

[B]

Did you say the original passenger?

[A]

Yes. The corpse in six isn't the man who belongs there at all. I think someone else was there originally.

[B]

How can you be sure?

[A]

In going through his trunk, I noticed that although it was equipped with a splendid wardrobe, the pajamas were missing. They weren't anywhere in the room, you see, the man who slept in there first must have been wearing them. Ah, the passage is empty and the conductor's obligingly lowered the light. Come on. Now, here's the door. Come in very quietly.

[B]

What are you going to do?

[A]

Shut the door. That's it. Now hand me those bedroom slippers on the floor. Thank you. I just tried them on this man. Wait, I'll get the shoes off first.

[B]

There. Now you see the door. Bed.

[A]

Right. This compartment doesn't belong to Mr. Bridges at all. It belongs to someone else. Someone who's wearing pajamas. Someone who undoubtedly has been murdered.

[B]

Well, who wears the dean?

[A]

Well? Where would you look for a dead body, Mrs. Mullet?

[B]

In a coffin.

[A]

Clever of you.

[B]

In a coffin.

[A]

You mean that the real murdered man is in the baggage car? In the coffin brought here during the funeral. Logical, isn't it? Come on.

[B]

You're not going to the baggage car, are you?

[A]

I certainly am. Now, someone's guarding that coffin. It's law. So we'll have to dispose of him. Then we can go ahead.

[B]

Go ahead with that.

[A]

We can go ahead and open the coffin.

[B]

Yes, we can go ahead and open Mr. Ripper. See, peek through this little glass in the door. The man's in there sitting right beside the coffin.

[A]

Ms. Mullet. I'll speak to him and you stand casually beside him. Then when I nod, you hit him on the head. Use anything you see. Grappling hook, hammer, heavy package, anything.

[B]

That's easy.

[A]

Then we'll open the coffin.

[B]

Uh, that's hard.

[A]

Oh, let's go. I'll open the door. Hello. Hello. Hey, don't I know you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No. Yeah, yeah, you look like. What's the name of that bird? Not bird. Bard. Shakespeare. Yeah, that's the bird. Then you're acquainted with him, huh? Ah, sure. Not personal. I read two of his plays. Romeo and Juliet. Who? Who's the dame?

[B]

What's that?

[A]

Mrs. Mullet, meet. What's the bird? Oh, my name's Benny. Hiya. Hey, what are you two doing back here? Oh, we got restless and walked through the train and found ourselves back here. Oh, guarding that coffin, eh, Benny? Yeah. Why don't you sit down on a six foot bungalow there and we'll split the breeze. You Know, I got a great acquaintance with the works of Shakespeare. A lot of his stuff's been dramatized, you know. You don't say. Yeah, and all about it. All about his tragedies and comedies and errors. Say, anything happen tonight while you were watching the coffin, Benny? Huh? Will anyone speak to you tonight? Any strangers? Yeah, I don't know any. Just squat here watching after my boyfriend in a pine overcoat. Had a nice idea for him, too. You know what? I wanted to put one of them pretty flower horseshoes on the box. You know, the ones that say success. Benny, there's been a murder on this train. Kind of a nut, right? And I am investigating it. You are? You're very much in the way now, Mrs. Mullet.

[B]

I'll get him.

[A]

Tell you Midsummer Night's Dream. I'll hide Benny behind these mailbags.

[B]

Here, I'll help you.

[A]

Fine. Now, I'll take this grappling hook and get at that coffin.

[B]

Do you have to do that?

[A]

It's no time to be nervous. Got this side up, now the other. Certainly nailed this down hard.

[B]

Oh, it's very bad luck to open a coffin. There's no telling what's inside. Are you sure you have to do that?

[A]

Now I can pick up the whole lid. Ready, Mrs. Mullet?

[B]

Well, I'm as ready as I ever will be.

[A]

Don't behave so foolishly. Coffins have been opened before. Body snatchers do it regular.

[B]

Well, not when I was around.

[A]

Oh, here goes.

[B]

Why, it's a man in pajamas and he's been stabbed.

[A]

Just as I thought. Someone stabbed this man during the middle of the night, then exchanged his dead body for the corpse in his coffin. They switched it, you see, with Bridges body.

[B]

But why would they do that?

[A]

Cover up. This chap, whoever he is, would disappear completely. You see, he was last seen boarding this train and then vanished as if by magic. By the time his friends or relatives discovered anything was wrong, he would have been buried in this coffin.

[B]

Well, what would happen to Bridges?

[A]

Well, I'm sure Mr. Bridges was selected because he's the type of man nobody would be looking for. Oh, Bridges death would be discovered by the coroner as a heart attack, which it probably was. And that would clear the killer completely. You see? Now, our first problem is, who is this man? And secondly, who played checkers with the two cadavers?

[B]

I bet that Vinnie over there knows.

[A]

Then we'd better revive him.

[B]

Wait. Look down the corridor. Someone's coming. It's that newspaper man, Danny Randolph.

[A]

Quick, hide behind these mail sacks. Duck behind here with Me.

[B]

All right. Is this all right? You think they can see us?

[A]

No, no, this is fine.

[B]

See the open coffin?

[A]

That's just what I want. Holy smokes. Margie, what are you doing here?

[B]

Shut up. Not so loud. You noticed the same thing, huh? The wrong guy in Sparrow's compartment.

[A]

Yeah, I figured somebody pulled a switch. Larry see him in the coffin?

[B]

Yeah. I'll bet you can explain how it happened. Are you crazy?

[A]

It's now when I saw that stiffen Sparrow's place. How'd you ever manage it, you SAP?

[B]

You don't think I stabbed him, do you?

[A]

Why not? He double crossed you.

[B]

How about you? You really wrote the big shot? Sparrow stole it from you.

[A]

I was gonna collect from him on this train tonight. You don't think I'd knife him and lose a dough, would you?

[B]

Well, maybe. He was a big boy himself. He'd do anything to keep that book from being published.

[A]

It might have been his royal highness. Yeah, maybe.

[B]

I could make things very hot for you, Danny. I could shoot my mouth off about Sparrow taking your book. That'd give you a terrific motive.

[A]

Yeah, and I could tell a cute Lyon about how you got to swear he wrote it and then told you to go jump in the drink.

[B]

We don't have to be nasty to each other, Danny. We could be friends again. I've always been kind of sorry we broke up, haven't you?

[A]

First you had me and then you cashed me in for Sparrow. Now he's gone, you figure you'll take me back. You're a high class twist, ain't you?

[B]

I'll keep quiet. We can take up where we left off.

[A]

Yeah, sure. I could trust you.

[B]

Wanna kiss and make up so's you

[A]

can get the dough from the book, huh? Go on, scram, before I push your face in. But Danny, I'm getting out of here. This guy's no place to be with Sparrow line in that coffin.

[B]

Wait, Danny.

[A]

Lemme alone and keep your traps shut.

[B]

Danny, come back. Danny. Hmm. Quite a girl, ain't she?

[A]

Yes. Charming twist.

[B]

Do you think she killed Sparrow or did Danny do it?

[A]

You've forgotten the suggestion Danny made himself. Maybe it was the gentleman they called the big shot who's about to be exposed by that book.

[B]

Well, how can you find out who it was?

[A]

Well, it seems rather simple to me since this is all because of the manuscript of a book. Whoever has that script is the most killer. We'll have to search for it. And there are burrs and Margie's dennys

[B]

and, well, you search the big shots. You don't know who he is.

[A]

At least I can eliminate the Ms. Mullet. How's your screen these days?

[B]

Well, after seeing you open that coffin, should be very good.

[A]

I want you to stand at one end of that car up front and scream for all your worth. Then lead everyone on a merry chase all through the train. I want about three or four minutes of confusion to examine Margie's and Danny's luggage.

[B]

Suppose the manuscript ain't there?

[A]

Then we know the big shot did the killing and we'll have to find him. Let's go up front. Leave Benny there. He seems to be resting so peacefully. Probably dreaming about those two plays, Romeo and Juliet. Come. Ready, Mrs. Mullet?

[B]

Ready, Mr. Witherold.

[A]

Go on.

[B]

Well, kept them all chasing me for five minutes. Did you find the manuscript, Mr. Witherall?

[A]

Yes, I did. And I left it where I found it.

[B]

To who had it?

[A]

It was in. Here's the station, Mr. Witherow. Police will come on. We can get to the bottom of this now.

[B]

I'm so glad the police. I was getting so obsessed.

[A]

Yes, I imagine this has been quite a strain for you, Ms. Twist. Big pardon, Ms. McIntosh.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Cops will be coming on now, huh? Yeah, Mr. Randolph. Everybody stay right here.

[B]

Oh, I'm so glad. We'll know if anything suspicious is going on. I couldn't sleep thinking about this. Couldn't sleep at all. And that's so bad? Suspense causes an unfavorable glandular reaction of page.

[A]

Mother Nature. Mr. Lee. Oh, my head. I ought to have a doctor. I ought to insult a physician.

[B]

Why, Benny.

[A]

Ah, there you are. Huh? Hey, listen. What's the idea, Bob? I'm just going to discuss the whole problem, Vinnie. I see down by the end of the car there that the police have arrived. Police? Yep. Come on down here, Officer. Okay, okay. Where's the body you're worried about? Right in there, Compartment six. It's a man named Bridges. Officer, I think I can explain what's happened. Who are you?

[B]

He's Leonidas Witherall, head of Meredith Academy. Mr. Withervall's a very good detective.

[A]

Oh, I'm not a professional detective, but I can tell you about the murder that's taken place. Murder?

[B]

Was Bridges murdered?

[A]

No. His body was secured somewhere so that a false funeral might be arranged and his body in the coffin might be placed on this train. The murdered man was named Sparrow. Sparrow originally occupied this compartment. Shakespeare? Nothing. Sherlock Holmes. I'm glad you spoke up, Benny. Benny was a part of the plan. Obviously, he was working for a man identified only as the big shot. To keep Sparrow from printing a book about his activities, this big shot hired Benny to kill Sparrow, steal the manuscript and switch the bodies.

[B]

Sparrow's body's in the baggage car, officer, with a long knife in the side. I saw it.

[A]

So, Benny. I didn't stab no Sparrow. I know you didn't, Benny, because you haven't got the manuscript in question. I found the script and the real murderer's luggage.

[B]

Whose luggage was it?

[A]

When Benny arrived at compartment six, someone had already put a knife into Sparrow. But Benny, faithfully executing his orders, switched the bodies anyway.

[B]

Where'd you find the manuscript?

[A]

Now? Benny's error helped the murderer considerably. Sparrow had disappeared. No one would ever know where he'd gone.

[B]

Come on, come on. Where'd you find the script?

[A]

Now, that's the key to the whole problem, isn't it? My jam. Who has it? Yes. Who done this? Come on, if you're such a Detective,

[B]

tell us, Mr. Wither, or kill him. Well, go on. Go on.

[A]

I found it in Danny's briefcase. Your what? It was in your briefcase, Danny. You killed Sparrow. Don't try to get off this train, Danny. You make a dive for that platform. I'll put six slugs in your bag.

[B]

Danny, you did do it.

[A]

And he stole my book. I would have made a fortune out of it. And tonight, in his compartment, he wouldn't pay off. We had a fight. There was a knife on the table and we both went for it. And I won. That's all. I risked my life to write that book. I wouldn't let any man live who took it away from me. And least of all Sparrow the skunk. Sparrow, the skunk? Oh, your biological background is deplorable, Danny. Deplorable. We'll take both bodies off. You come with me, Danny.

[B]

Well, Miss Wither, that was excellent. Excellent.

[A]

You were a brilliant mind.

[B]

You must lead a very clean, healthful life.

[A]

Yes, Mr. Lear. And I wish you did, too. What do you mean, Mr. Lear? When I saw the manuscript in Danny's briefcase, I glanced a second at a few pages. I learned who this national criminal is. The big shot. The man who hired Benny and arranged the funeral.

[B]

Oh, sneaky and crummy. Busy buddy.

[A]

It was this guy.

[B]

It was Mr. Lear. This nice little man with the butterflies.

[A]

Yes, this nice little man is the big shot. You'd better take him with you, too, Officer. Another crook. Boy, it's going to take a lot of blue points to get all these people out of the can. All right, let's go, Daddy. Come on, you.

[B]

I'm coming. I'm coming.

[A]

Which oven, Copper? I can walk on my own now, Conductor. I think we can continue on our way to Chicago and the convention. It'll seem so anti climactic now. I suppose. Everybody go back to your berths. Soon as we get the bodies off, we'll leave. And I go to sleep at last. Ah, sleep. I'm so tired. So tired. As the gentleman I'm supposed to resemble has written. Sleep that knits up the raveled sleeve of care. Shut the doors. The death of each day's life. Sore labor's bath. I'll fix that mattress. Mr. Balm of Hurt Minds. Great Nature's second course.

[B]

Well, somebody fell off the ladder climbing into an upper bird.

[A]

Chief nourisher in life's feast. Sleep Sl. WOR has presented the distinguished American actor Walter Hampden in the Adventures of Leonidas Witherel. Mrs. Mullet is played by Ethel Ramey. The character of Leonidas Witherel is from the mystery novels by Alice Tilton. The radio script is by Howard Merrill and the program is directed by Roger Baur. Witherell's involved in a history making event next week, isn't he, Mr. Hampden? Yes. Next week's story is about that miraculous and infinitely rare event, a nylon sale. It's a delightful and very exciting adventure in homicide. And I hope you be listening next Sunday at 7. Now, good night. Listen again next Sunday at 7pm for Walter Hampden in the Adventures of Leonidas Withero. This program came to you from the studios of WOR in New York. This is mutual.