Abbott and Costello: "Lou’s House Needs Another Bathtub"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: September 28, 2025
Main Theme:
Comedy duo Bud Abbott and Lou Costello bring a classic slice-of-life routine full of their signature wordplay and slapstick, centering around Lou’s misadventures buying a country house—and his struggle to secure a bathtub for it.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Costello’s New Country House

• (02:04) Lou enthusiastically tells Abbott that he’s bought a ranch in the country, humorously named “Lumbago Ranch.”
  • Lou: “It’s got a creek in the back. I call it Lumbago Ranch.”
  • Abbott: “Why did you name it Lumbago?”
  • Lou: “Because it’s got a creek!”
  • Classic wordplay on "creek" and "creak."
• (02:05–03:00) Lou plans to raise monkeys, leading to riffing on “monkey ranch” as a play on “monkey wrench.”
  • Abbott: “You bought a ranch to raise monkeys? You’re a nut.”
  • Lou: “Well, what’s better for a nut than a monkey ranch?”

2. The House Tour – and Absurd Real Estate Details

• (03:00–04:55) Lou describes questionable details about the house, like a doctor painting it for free (“Dr. Pepper” written on the roof).
  • Lou: “A doctor painted it for nothing... It says Dr. Pepper.” (03:02)
• The routine hits on mortgage jargon, as Lou misinterprets “escrow,” “lien,” and “patio” with literal or personal meanings, showcasing Costello’s guileless character and Abbott’s exasperation.
  • Abbott: “Does the bank have a lien on your house?”
  • Lou: “If the bank have a lien on my house, it would fall down!” (03:21)
• Classic puns and “Who’s on First”-style confusion about shingle vs. tiled roofs and the use of mortar.
  • Abbott: “Is the roof shingle or tiled?”
  • Lou: “Certainly a single. Whoever heard of a married roof?” (04:39)

3. No Bathtub—A Crisis Emerges

• (07:00–08:12) Abbott is shocked to find out Lou’s new house doesn’t have a bathtub—just “a room with a pass.”

  • Lou: “We’re in the country, way out in the country. All we got is a room with a pass.”
  • Abbott: “You bought a house without a bathtub?”
  • Lou: “Why do we need a bathtub? We're only going to stay here during the winter.”

• Costello's solution—putting the bathtub at the end of the dining room with no wall (“Let them turn their backs”)—escalates the silliness. (08:11)

4. Trying to Buy a Bathtub in Wartime America

• (08:12–11:27) Wartime shortages mean tubs require a ration board’s "priority."

  • Abbott explains: “You can’t buy a tub without an okay from the ration board.”
  • Lou (misunderstanding): “The OPA has frozen tubs? Poor man—he should wear heavier underwear.”
  • By phone, a ration board rep jokes: “Why don’t you bathe in the spring?” (10:24)

• Frustrating call with Mr. Fawcett at the ration board (pun on “faucet”), who mockingly asks if Lou takes in washing.

  • Abbott (as Fawcett): “Do you take in washing?”
  • Lou: “I never washed in my life.”
  • Abbott: “Well, it’s nice of you to make this call by phone. Goodbye.” (11:08)

5. The Search for a Secondhand Bathtub

• (11:27–14:12) Lou calls the Acme Junkyard for a used tub, then the Ajax Plumbing Co.—with each call devolving into vaudeville banter and puns (including a reference to Dick Tracy in the paper).
• At Kitzel’s Swappy Shoppie, slapstick negotiations for a battered old tub ensue.
  • Notable moment: Assessing the age of the tub by “counting the rings around it.”
  • Kitzel: “That crack proves that it’s an antique. George Washington slipped here.”

6. Bringing Home the Bathtub—Physical Comedy Escalates

• (16:16–19:43) Lou hauls the tub home atop his car, sitting in it for balance. Abbott drives; Lou banters from in the tub.
  • Lou: “Abbott, don’t drive so fast. The tub is liable to fall off. I don’t want to put another crack in my enamel.” (17:08)
  • Lou: “It’s awfully chilly up here. Hand me up the stopper for the tub...” (17:16)
• Traffic cop stops them for “indecent exposure;” only Lou’s face is visible above the tub, yet the officer says, “That’s what I said. In decent exposure.” (19:36)

7. The Finale: Installation Fiasco

• (20:08–23:34) Attempting to move the tub into the house, they cut across a neighbor’s yard, destroy her flowers, and she storms out in indignation.

  • Neighbor: “You ripped up my grass, crushed my petunias and shattered my gladiolas. Get back in the house before I fracture your hollyhocks!” (20:33)
  • Abbott: “Remember the old saying, you should love your neighbor?”
  • Lou (to neighbor): “Okay, you brute, put me down.”

• Famed “not hole” routine: Lou confuses ordinary holes with “not holes” (knotholes), descending into comic circular logic.

  • Abbott: “A not hole is a hole, but it’s not like a hole, it’s not a not hole.” (22:27)

• Niles appears to help connect pipes—Abbott’s in the basement, Lou above, and soon a plumbing mistake is made.

  • Lou: “Everything has suddenly gone black.”
  • Abbott: “You connected the tub to the oil furnace!” (23:34)

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Naming the Ranch
  Lou: “I call it Lumbago Ranch.” (02:05)
  Abbott: “Why did you name it Lumbago?”
  Lou: “Because it’s got a creek!”
• Escrow & Lean Confusions
  Abbott: “They told me I had to go through escrow.” (03:19)
  Lou: “In order to get the house, they told me I’d have to go through ES Crow.”
• Roof Routine
  Abbott: “Is your roof shingle or tiled?” (04:43)
  Lou: “Certainly a single. Whoever heard of a married roof?”
• Bathtub Negotiations
  Kitzel: “That crack proves that it’s an antique!” (15:01) Lou: “How can you tell the age of a bathtub?”
  Abbott: “I counted the rings around it.” (14:46)
• On the Way Home
  Abbott: “Costello is on top of the car, sitting in the bathtub to balance it. What a picture. One tub sitting in another.” (17:04) Lou: “The tub is liable to fall off. I don’t want to put another crack in my enamel.” (17:08)
• Traffic Cop Trouble
  Officer: “I’ll have to give your fat friend a ticket for indecent exposure.” (19:33)
  Lou: “What do you mean? I’m sitting in a tub but all you can see is my face?”
  Officer: “That’s what I said. In decent exposure.”
• Costello’s Neighbor
  Neighbor: “You ripped up my grass, crushed my petunias and shattered my gladiolas. Get back in the house before I fracture your hollyhocks!” (20:33)
• Plumbing Disaster
  Lou: “Everything has suddenly gone black.” (23:31)
  Abbott: “You connected the tub to the oil furnace!” (23:34)

Classic Abbott & Costello Tone

• Continuous, rapid-fire wordplay and misunderstandings between Abbott (straight man, slightly exasperated) and Costello (naïve and literal).
• Frequent escalation from simple miscommunications into absurd and layered comic scenarios, especially surrounding homonyms and idioms.
• Supporting characters (the ration board, junk dealer, neighbor, and Kitzel the shopkeeper) each provide moments of comic relief and set-ups for the duo’s routines.

Important Segments and Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:04 | Lou describes buying Lumbago Ranch, plans to raise monkeys | | 03:19 | Escrow, lien, and patio confusion | | 04:57 | Shingle/tiled roof, mortar, and tile confusion | | 08:12 | Bathtub crisis emerges | | 10:21 | Abbott calls ration board; Dr. Fawcett puns | | 11:27 | Calls to junkyard and Ajax Plumbing Co. | | 13:25 | At Kitzel’s Swappy Shoppie, bargaining for tub | | 16:16 | Take tub home on car, Lou rides in tub | | 19:36 | Traffic cop incidents | | 20:33 | Neighbor confronts Lou and Abbott for yard destruction | | 22:11 | Plumbing/knothole routine with Niles | | 23:34 | Disaster: tub connected to oil furnace |

In summary:
This episode of Abbott and Costello is a rapid-fire example of their classic slapstick and layered comic misunderstandings. Through their efforts to furnish Lou’s rustic new ranch with a much-needed bathtub, the routines blend everyday frustrations with wartime shortages and Costello’s comically earnest logic, including memorable banter, classic side characters, neighborly disasters, and a final plumbing fiasco. Fans of their dynamic will find vintage routines throughout, echoing their “Who’s on First” energy and vaudeville roots.