Abbott and Costello Children's Show – September 11, 1948

Guest: Red Ryder
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Date: August 27, 2025 (podcast release)

Overview

This episode of the Abbott and Costello Children's Show is a vibrant showcase of 1940s radio variety, combining slapstick comedy, audience participation, and heartwarming tales of heroism. The main features include a comedy sketch with Abbott, Costello, and guest star Red Ryder, live musical performances by children, an imaginative "Red Ryder" Western adventure, and interactive games and quizzes that put young audience members in the spotlight. The show culminates with the presentation of the Costello Junior Youth Foundation Award, honoring extraordinary civic deeds by children, highlighting the tale of 4-year-old Patsy May Cummings.

Key Segments, Insights, and Timestamps

1. Abbott & Costello Comedy and Banter

[01:03–02:58]

• Book Jokes and Wordplay:
  Lou Costello presents a series of playful gags about the books he reads, mixing up mystery and education.
  • "How you coming with your music lessons? ... I've been working on a musical composition for over three years. But there's one place where I get stuck." (Lou Costello, [01:16])
• Inventions and Childlike Logic:
  Lou pitches a ridiculous invention, the "yolk sickle" — a chocolate-covered hard-boiled egg on a stick.
  • Classic play on Costello’s supposed dimwittedness, with Abbott retorting,
    "The inefficiency of your cranial matter is so minute as the practice we border on the nonexistence" (Abbott, [01:38])
• Baby Picture Bit:
  Costello shows a childhood photo where his nurse sits on his lap, turning the joke on its head.
  • "That shows you how smart I was when I was only two." (Lou Costello, [02:53])

2. Child Performer: "Underneath the Arches"

[03:06–05:09]

• 10-year-old Anime Slaughter introduces the song, engaging directly with the audience.
  • "I'd like to do a number that I think will be a big zip. 'Underneath the Arches.'" (Anime Slaughter, [03:06])
• Singalong with children in the audience, creating a warm, communal atmosphere.

3. Guest Star: Red Ryder & Little Beaver

[05:09–11:01]

• Red Ryder makes a grand, friendly entrance, immediately connecting with the kid audience.
  • "Hi, kids. And thanks, Johnny... how would you like to meet the boy that plays the part of Little Beaver?" (Red Ryder, [05:30])
• Surprise:
  Little Beaver is revealed to be the show’s own Johnny McGuffins, who breaks into "Hollywood Indian" dialect, prompting playful responses.
  • "Pale face, meet them up behind you. Be careful, Red Ryder." (Johnny McGuffins / Little Beaver, [05:55])
• Comic Western Adventure:
  Red Ryder, Abbott, and Costello improvise a scene crossing the Mojave Desert in search of gold, riffing off typical Western tropes and wordplay:
  • Costello can’t tell the difference between a mirage and "lemon meringue."
    • "That's silly. Mirage is what my mother puts on top of her pie. Lemon mirage." (Lou Costello, [08:44])
  • Mistaken 'grave' for 'Billy the Kid,' more slapstick humor.
    • "It says, under this stone lies Billy the Kid. But it's a good thing we come along. Come on, help move this stone..." (Lou Costello, [08:03])
  • Cactus juice gag, Red Ryder:
    • "That cactus juice was made personally by the Blackfeet Indian." (Red Ryder, [10:06])

4. Interactive Kids Segment: Bubble or Nothing

[11:22–13:34]

• Bubble Gum Challenge:
  Kids from the studio audience compete to blow the biggest bubble in 10 seconds; rewards for everyone, extra prizes for top 'bubble-blowers.'
• Personal Touch:
  Lou engages each contestant with questions about their names, ages, and sometimes playful banter about their preferences and answers.
  • "What you do with your teeth? ... They fall out? They pull out, huh?" (Lou Costello, [12:26])
  • Betty Lou and Leo Victor, the winners, receive circus peanuts, toys, and a sterling silver ring.

5. Audience Quiz & Prizes

[14:38–21:26]

• Lighthearted Q&A:
  Lou interacts with children, asking riddles and simple questions.
  • "What do you usually find inside of a milk bottle?"
    • "No." (Sarah, [15:17])
    • Lou riffs: "That must be real past your eyes milk. It goes right past your eyes." ([15:21])
  • Other questions involve animal laughs, tomato soup ingredients ("tomatoes" finally supplied by Johnny, [21:26]), and more.
  • "How many guns do you hear in a 21 gun salute?"
    • "None, I'm using squared guns." (Leonard, [16:58])
• Big Prizes:
  Contestants win ice cream for a year, cowboy hats, sets of pens, and for a lucky girl, a pedigreed cocker spaniel puppy and dog food for six months.
• Prizes are personal and imaginative, sparking genuine delight and laughter.

6. The Costello Junior Youth Foundation Award

[22:44–27:11]

• Award Introduction:
  Each week, children are invited to write in with good deeds. The winner this week:
  "Four year old Patsy May Cummings of Ravenglen Farm, Route 45, Illinois." (Johnny McGuffins, [23:07])
• Heroic Story Rekindled:
  The show dramatizes Patsy's rescue of her baby brother from a burning trailer, with emotional dialogue: - "Well, I heard a noise and everything was on fire and the baby was crying. It was getting awful hot and so I picked Jamie up and brought him out there." (Patsy May / Johnny, [24:41])
• Recognition and Prizes:
  Patsy receives a gold trophy, jewelry, a radio, a bicycle, and more—each described with old-fashioned radio flourish and pride. - "This is a beautifully engraved gold trophy made by Dodge Incorporated, largest manufacturer of trophies in the world." (Lou Costello, [26:44])
• Uplifting Lesson:
  "Now you see, if you don't get excited and lose your heads when disaster threatens you, you can most always come out of it. All right. Little Patsy May Cummings here did, and she's only 4 years old." (Lou Costello, [25:18])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Costello’s Invention Bit:
  "It's a chocolate covered hard boiled egg on a stick. It's called the yolk sickle." (Lou Costello, [01:30])
• Riffing on Red Ryder:
  "Pale face, meet them up behind you. Be careful, Red Rider." (Johnny McGuffins, [05:55])
• Western Misunderstandings:
  "That's silly. Mirage is what my mother puts on top of her pie. Lemon mirage." (Lou Costello, [08:44])
• Child Wisdom:
  "What do you usually find inside of a milk bottle?" — “No.” (Sarah, [15:17])
• Heroism Highlighted:
  "Most tots that size would have been so scared they probably wouldn’t have been able to get out of that trailer themselves, let alone carry a baby out." (Red Ryder, [24:54])

Flow & Tone

The episode mixes slapstick humor, gentle teasing, audience engagement, and heartfelt praise, all wrapped in the buoyant, encouraging spirit of postwar American radio. The interaction between adults and children is respectful but playfully irreverent, and the overall tone is lively, cooperative, and inclusive.

Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a time-capsule of classic radio variety: Abbott and Costello’s famed quick-witted comedy, Red Ryder's Western drawl, and a host of bubbly, bright-eyed children. Expect plenty of giggles, a touch of Western adventure, and a moral story underscoring youthful bravery and good citizenship. This is wholesome, communal entertainment that rewards kindness and celebrates the joys, foibles, and brilliance of children.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Abbott & Costello Comedy: 01:03–02:58
• Child Performer Song: 03:06–05:09
• Red Ryder Guest Adventure: 05:09–11:01
• Bubble or Nothing (Bubble Gum Contest): 11:22–13:34
• Audience Quiz & Prizes: 14:38–21:26
• Costello Junior Youth Award (Patsy May): 22:44–27:11