Abbott And Costello Children's Show 1948-09-11 Guest - Red Ryder

Summary

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Abbott and Costello Children's Show – September 11, 1948

Guest: Red Ryder
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Date: August 27, 2025 (podcast release)

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Overview

This episode of the Abbott and Costello Children's Show is a vibrant showcase of 1940s radio variety, combining slapstick comedy, audience participation, and heartwarming tales of heroism. The main features include a comedy sketch with Abbott, Costello, and guest star Red Ryder, live musical performances by children, an imaginative "Red Ryder" Western adventure, and interactive games and quizzes that put young audience members in the spotlight. The show culminates with the presentation of the Costello Junior Youth Foundation Award, honoring extraordinary civic deeds by children, highlighting the tale of 4-year-old Patsy May Cummings.

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Key Segments, Insights, and Timestamps

1. Abbott & Costello Comedy and Banter

[01:03–02:58]

• Book Jokes and Wordplay:
  Lou Costello presents a series of playful gags about the books he reads, mixing up mystery and education.
  • "How you coming with your music lessons? ... I've been working on a musical composition for over three years. But there's one place where I get stuck." (Lou Costello, [01:16])
• Inventions and Childlike Logic:
  Lou pitches a ridiculous invention, the "yolk sickle" — a chocolate-covered hard-boiled egg on a stick.
  • Classic play on Costello’s supposed dimwittedness, with Abbott retorting,
    "The inefficiency of your cranial matter is so minute as the practice we border on the nonexistence" (Abbott, [01:38])
• Baby Picture Bit:
  Costello shows a childhood photo where his nurse sits on his lap, turning the joke on its head.
  • "That shows you how smart I was when I was only two." (Lou Costello, [02:53])

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2. Child Performer: "Underneath the Arches"

[03:06–05:09]

• 10-year-old Anime Slaughter introduces the song, engaging directly with the audience.
  • "I'd like to do a number that I think will be a big zip. 'Underneath the Arches.'" (Anime Slaughter, [03:06])
• Singalong with children in the audience, creating a warm, communal atmosphere.

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3. Guest Star: Red Ryder & Little Beaver

[05:09–11:01]

• Red Ryder makes a grand, friendly entrance, immediately connecting with the kid audience.
  • "Hi, kids. And thanks, Johnny... how would you like to meet the boy that plays the part of Little Beaver?" (Red Ryder, [05:30])
• Surprise:
  Little Beaver is revealed to be the show’s own Johnny McGuffins, who breaks into "Hollywood Indian" dialect, prompting playful responses.
  • "Pale face, meet them up behind you. Be careful, Red Ryder." (Johnny McGuffins / Little Beaver, [05:55])
• Comic Western Adventure:
  Red Ryder, Abbott, and Costello improvise a scene crossing the Mojave Desert in search of gold, riffing off typical Western tropes and wordplay:
  • Costello can’t tell the difference between a mirage and "lemon meringue."
    • "That's silly. Mirage is what my mother puts on top of her pie. Lemon mirage." (Lou Costello, [08:44])
  • Mistaken 'grave' for 'Billy the Kid,' more slapstick humor.
    • "It says, under this stone lies Billy the Kid. But it's a good thing we come along. Come on, help move this stone..." (Lou Costello, [08:03])
  • Cactus juice gag, Red Ryder:
    • "That cactus juice was made personally by the Blackfeet Indian." (Red Ryder, [10:06])

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4. Interactive Kids Segment: Bubble or Nothing

[11:22–13:34]

• Bubble Gum Challenge:
  Kids from the studio audience compete to blow the biggest bubble in 10 seconds; rewards for everyone, extra prizes for top 'bubble-blowers.'
• Personal Touch:
  Lou engages each contestant with questions about their names, ages, and sometimes playful banter about their preferences and answers.
  • "What you do with your teeth? ... They fall out? They pull out, huh?" (Lou Costello, [12:26])
  • Betty Lou and Leo Victor, the winners, receive circus peanuts, toys, and a sterling silver ring.

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5. Audience Quiz & Prizes

[14:38–21:26]

• Lighthearted Q&A:
  Lou interacts with children, asking riddles and simple questions.
  • "What do you usually find inside of a milk bottle?"
    • "No." (Sarah, [15:17])
    • Lou riffs: "That must be real past your eyes milk. It goes right past your eyes." ([15:21])
  • Other questions involve animal laughs, tomato soup ingredients ("tomatoes" finally supplied by Johnny, [21:26]), and more.
  • "How many guns do you hear in a 21 gun salute?"
    • "None, I'm using squared guns." (Leonard, [16:58])
• Big Prizes:
  Contestants win ice cream for a year, cowboy hats, sets of pens, and for a lucky girl, a pedigreed cocker spaniel puppy and dog food for six months.
• Prizes are personal and imaginative, sparking genuine delight and laughter.

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6. The Costello Junior Youth Foundation Award

[22:44–27:11]

• Award Introduction:
  Each week, children are invited to write in with good deeds. The winner this week:
  "Four year old Patsy May Cummings of Ravenglen Farm, Route 45, Illinois." (Johnny McGuffins, [23:07])
• Heroic Story Rekindled:
  The show dramatizes Patsy's rescue of her baby brother from a burning trailer, with emotional dialogue: - "Well, I heard a noise and everything was on fire and the baby was crying. It was getting awful hot and so I picked Jamie up and brought him out there." (Patsy May / Johnny, [24:41])
• Recognition and Prizes:
  Patsy receives a gold trophy, jewelry, a radio, a bicycle, and more—each described with old-fashioned radio flourish and pride. - "This is a beautifully engraved gold trophy made by Dodge Incorporated, largest manufacturer of trophies in the world." (Lou Costello, [26:44])
• Uplifting Lesson:
  "Now you see, if you don't get excited and lose your heads when disaster threatens you, you can most always come out of it. All right. Little Patsy May Cummings here did, and she's only 4 years old." (Lou Costello, [25:18])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Costello’s Invention Bit:
  "It's a chocolate covered hard boiled egg on a stick. It's called the yolk sickle." (Lou Costello, [01:30])
• Riffing on Red Ryder:
  "Pale face, meet them up behind you. Be careful, Red Rider." (Johnny McGuffins, [05:55])
• Western Misunderstandings:
  "That's silly. Mirage is what my mother puts on top of her pie. Lemon mirage." (Lou Costello, [08:44])
• Child Wisdom:
  "What do you usually find inside of a milk bottle?" — “No.” (Sarah, [15:17])
• Heroism Highlighted:
  "Most tots that size would have been so scared they probably wouldn’t have been able to get out of that trailer themselves, let alone carry a baby out." (Red Ryder, [24:54])

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Flow & Tone

The episode mixes slapstick humor, gentle teasing, audience engagement, and heartfelt praise, all wrapped in the buoyant, encouraging spirit of postwar American radio. The interaction between adults and children is respectful but playfully irreverent, and the overall tone is lively, cooperative, and inclusive.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a time-capsule of classic radio variety: Abbott and Costello’s famed quick-witted comedy, Red Ryder's Western drawl, and a host of bubbly, bright-eyed children. Expect plenty of giggles, a touch of Western adventure, and a moral story underscoring youthful bravery and good citizenship. This is wholesome, communal entertainment that rewards kindness and celebrates the joys, foibles, and brilliance of children.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Abbott & Costello Comedy: 01:03–02:58
• Child Performer Song: 03:06–05:09
• Red Ryder Guest Adventure: 05:09–11:01
• Bubble or Nothing (Bubble Gum Contest): 11:22–13:34
• Audience Quiz & Prizes: 14:38–21:26
• Costello Junior Youth Award (Patsy May): 22:44–27:11

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Transcript

[Narrator]

How do you make an Airbnb a VRBO picture a vacation rental with a host who's showing you every room like you've never seen a house before. Now get rid of them. There you go. No host ever. Now it's a vrbo. Make it a VRBO.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Show produced in touch gun Hollywood with our guest star drunk Red Rider Temple and future Yuko Junior Youth foundation award. Every Saturday morning on this program some lucky boy has roll increase hundreds of dollars worth of valuable and bullshit of good citizenship. Every boy and girl on the kept eligible for this award. We'll tell you how to win it later in the program. But now let's have to march with our stars BR Abbott and Luca.

[Lou Costello]

I. Here I am. What's in that book you're carrying on your arm? It's a mystery book. A mystery book? That's a bush. No kidding. What's the name of it? It's entitled oh Buried the Electric Light Bulbs or Masters in a Cold Cool Ground. You're reading mystery books? Well, why don't you read something educational? I read that stuff too. You do? I went to the library and I got a book called the Science of Muscular Atomic Radar Activity as related to super destructive propane farties. And there's only one thing I don't understand about the book. And what's that? Why they let a dope like me take it out of the library. You don't mind that? How you coming with your music lessons? Are you making any progress? But I'll have you know that I've been working on a musical composition for over three years. But there's one place where I get stuck. One place? You get stuck. Stuck in one place. Well, go ahead and play it on the organ. Try it out. Maybe I can help you. Tell me. Tell me when you come to the place where you get stuck. Okay, now you go ahead over to the organ there. Well, go ahead. I can't. That's where I'm stuck. Yeah, Dummy will never amount to anything. Why don't you go into business, try to make some money. I am a business habit. I got an invention that the kids will go crazy about. It's a chocolate covered hard boiled egg on a stick. A chocolate covered hard boiled egg on a stick. It's called the yolk sickle cellar. The inefficiency of your cranial matter is so minute as the practice we border on the non existence. That's a good suggestion, Abbott, but I'll fry mine and deep fat. No, no, Castell, I'm trying to tell you that you're dumb. You're ignorant. You're stupid. You've been stupid all your life. I have not. You're a very smart baby. Here, look at this picture of me with my nurse when I was only two years old. Wait a minute, wait a minute. There's something wrong with this picture. The nurse is sitting on your lap. That shows you how smart I was when I was only two.

[Johnny McGuffins]

And now the scenes for the Abbott and Castello Kids. Girl 10 year old anime slaughter.

[Lou Costello]

Anime.

[Johnny McGuffins]

What would you like to say for us today? I'd like to do a number that I think will be a big zip. Underneath the arches. That's wonderful. I think that's good.

[Singer]

Underneath the arches I dream my dreams.

[Child Contestants]

Away.

[Singer]

Underneath the arches on copper sona.

[Child Contestants]

Day.

[Singer]

Every night you'll find me tired.

[Johnny McGuffins]

At night.

[Singer]

Happy when the daylight comes Sleeping, holding the dawn Sleeping when it's rain and sleeping when it's fine I hear the train rattling Statement is my appeal no matter where I slay.

[Child Contestants]

Underneath.

[Singer]

The arches I dream my dreams away Underneath the arches on top of snow.

[Lou Costello]

My leg.

[Singer]

Every night you find me hard at the eyes.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Happy when the.

[Singer]

Daylight and sleeping.

[Johnny McGuffins]

I'm sleeping when it's.

[Singer]

Fine I hear the train rattling Bye bye Statement is my pillow no matter.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Where it play Underneath the arches I.

[Singer]

Dream of my dreams away.

[Johnny McGuffins]

And now we've begun our guest star. Today's star is a favorite of kids all over the country. I'll bet every time kid listening in. And every kid in this audience is one of his fans. This man's name is Temple, but you know him as America's famous fighting cowboy, Red Rider.

[Red Rider]

Hi, kids. And thanks, Johnny. And now, kids, how would you like to meet the boy that plays the part of Little Beaver in the Red Rider series?

[Lou Costello]

You would? Okay, okay.

[Red Rider]

I've got a big surprise for you. Little Beaver is played by your old pal, the announcer of the Abbott and Costella Kids show, Johnny McGuffins.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Think of you Red riders. Me? Think I'm eating. Pale face, meet them up behind you. Be careful, Red Rider.

[Lou Costello]

There we go.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Up and behind them.

[Lou Costello]

Behind him.

[Johnny McGuffins]

You them?

[Lou Costello]

What kind of talk is that? Look, Johnny, that's not a nice thing to say about me. I mean, I'm your pal. Calling me a pale face?

[Red Rider]

I don't think he meant you, Castella. When Johnny said pale face, he was pointing to Mr. Abbott.

[Lou Costello]

Well, that's different. You can call him pale Face. He's got a pail just like a bucket. I mean, he's got a face like a Pail. And his nose looks like a muffin. All right, that's enough of the insult.

[Johnny McGuffins]

You look him very badam today. I'm his little beaver.

[Lou Costello]

Let's minimize the insults, Costella. Look, Red Rider. How about you and I and Costello doing a little Red Rider program for the kids?

[Red Rider]

Hey, you got an idea? That's fine, Bud. All right, let's say that the three of us are traveling across the Mojave Desert looking for a lost gold mine. All right, come on, Costella. Get those pack mules up here. It's getting dark and this is Bad man stereotype.

[Lou Costello]

Okay, Red. Come on, jerk. Jack. Come on, Jack. Come on, Jenny. Giddy up, Costello.

[Red Rider]

What's the idea of having those mules tails tied together?

[Lou Costello]

There's a couple of gophers following, and they like to skip ropes. That was a nice meal you've got there, Costello. Yes, the little one's name is Jenny. She's cute. Come here, Jenny, and give Abbott a kiss. Sure cools you off, don't it?

[Red Rider]

Now, look, Estella, behave yourself. We've got to get to the gulch and make camp before dark.

[Lou Costello]

You know, I think we're lost now. I don't see any sign of a trail. Hey, Abbott, look. There's a big rock over there with some writing on it. What does it say?

[Red Rider]

What does it say, Costello? Can't you read it?

[Lou Costello]

No, I can read reading, but I can't read writing. Now, get out of the way. Let's see. It says, under this stone lies Billy the Kid. But it's a good thing we come along. Come on, help move this stone. We gotta get that kid out of there. No, no.

[Red Rider]

Now hold it, partner. The kid's not under there. The inscription says this rock marks the spot where the Billy the kid fell in 1861.

[Lou Costello]

No wonder he fell. I nearly tripped over to Darntin myself.

[Red Rider]

You know, Abbott, I think the heat of the desert is affecting Costello's mind. We haven't had a drop of water to drink in 24 hours. We've gotta find a water hole.

[Lou Costello]

Look. Look, Abbott, is that a lake over there, or am I seeing a garage? Not.

[Red Rider]

Look, Lou, not garage. The word is mirage.

[Lou Costello]

That's silly. Mirage is what my mother puts on top of her pie. Lemon mirage.

[Red Rider]

Pie?

[Lou Costello]

No, you don't mean meringue, you mean meringue. Meringues. Yeah, that's what we use in our house. Instead of butter, you use meringue. Yeah, all your Marjorie meringues. The lippery stuff too.

[Red Rider]

Look, boys, I don't Want to frighten you, but I'm afraid we're lost. Lost in this trackless desert. We've got to climb up to the top of that rocky platoon. Then we may be able to find our barrens.

[Lou Costello]

What would our barons be doing up there? Oh, be quiet and follow Red and me. I was quiet and followed Red and you. Now, look, there I am.

[Johnny McGuffins]

I'm lost.

[Red Rider]

All right, quiet, Costello. I'll climb up the rocks first, then I'll drop your line.

[Lou Costello]

Thanks, Red. And I'll write to you too. How long do you expect to be gone, Red? I'm cold. I think I'm getting a chill. There's an Indian. Grab his blanket. What kind of an Indian that is. Look what it says on his blanket. Cleveland. Did you ever hear the Cleveland Indians? You know, Abbott, I'm thirsty too, and I gotta have something to drink.

[Red Rider]

Well, here, Costello, take a little sip.

[Lou Costello]

Of this homemade cactus juice. Okay. Hey, this stuff is killing me.

[Red Rider]

Can't understand that. That cactus juice was made personally by the Blackfeet Indian.

[Lou Costello]

He must have left one of their feet in it. It's kicking me in the stomach.

[Red Rider]

Hey, it's getting dark.

[Lou Costello]

Getting so dark I can't see a thing.

[Red Rider]

Boys, I think I found the entrance to an old deserted gold mine. I'll just stick in my arm right through this opening. Mighty cold and damp in there.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Get your hand out of my mouth.

[Lou Costello]

Hey, look, Ryder, I think I see some ghosts shining right in front of me. Say, you're right, Bud.

[Red Rider]

I see that gold too. Well, here, I'll dig that out with my knife.

[Johnny McGuffins]

My pants fell down. R. Put the buckle off my pan.

[Lou Costello]

Thank you, Red Rider, for coming on the Abbott and Coachella Kids show today.

[Red Rider]

Well, you don't have to thank me, Bud. My business is entertaining kids and this has really been an opportunity, you know, I understand this show is broadcast to.

[Lou Costello]

Kids all over the world. That's right, Red. And I'm sure you've made a lot of new friends today. And thanks again. You're a swell guy, Red Rider. Thanks, all.

[Johnny McGuffins]

And now for a quizzical bubble or nothing. It's in. The audience gets a piece of Bergens better bubble gum and a pocket full of Charlie McCarthy money. We have 10 kids on a stage, children from the studio audience. They're all doing Bergen's Butter Bubble Gum. The kid who blows the biggest bubble in 10 seconds gets a special prize. Every kiddo blows a bubble gets to be a contestant. Those who don't blow bubbles get nothing. So let's go with bubble or Nothing.

[Lou Costello]

Now the contestants are chewing their bergens. Bubblegum. On the count of three, the gun will ring and they will start blowing. Are you ready, kids? One. One. Two. Three.

[Child Contestants]

Come on.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Look at the size of the bubble.

[Lou Costello]

Wow. Rescue kids. Sit down now. You'll all get a prize later on. What's over here is stuck. Where's the two? Yeah. Here's the thing. Well, little fella and little girl, you both won the contest here for blowing the biggest bubble. Can't get out of your mouth yet, honey, huh? You got all over your fingers now, haven't you? What's your name, sweetie?

[Child Contestants]

Betty Lou.

[Lou Costello]

Betty Lou. What you do with your teeth? What are they? They fall out? They pull out, huh? They do what? What's the last name?

[Child Contestants]

Matthias.

[Lou Costello]

Matthias. I want everybody. How old are you, Betty?

[Johnny McGuffins]

Six. Six. Six.

[Lou Costello]

You like the little boy on your right?

[Child Contestants]

Yes.

[Lou Costello]

Would you like to go study with him?

[Child Contestants]

No.

[Lou Costello]

Okay. Would you like to go study with the little girl?

[Child Contestants]

No.

[Lou Costello]

You mean you don't like blondes?

[Child Contestants]

No.

[Lou Costello]

Why?

[Child Contestants]

Because.

[Lou Costello]

You see what I mean? He don't like blondes because. Okay, Betty, you won the contest for blowing the biggest bubble for girls. Therefore, you win this whole case of delicious vacuum packed tins of circus peanuts. And after the show, each kid in the audience will get a big bag of these 12 Circus Peanuts. It's a gift from you to them. And a little boy over here. Here. He won the contest. What's your name?

[Child Contestants]

Leo.

[Lou Costello]

Leo what?

[Child Contestants]

Victor.

[Lou Costello]

Leo Victor. I want everybody to know that Leo Victor was on the radio show today. You live how old, Leo? Good. You live here in Los Angeles? Where do you live?

[Child Contestants]

More Park.

[Lou Costello]

More Park. That's good. Now here we go. You're the boy that blew the biggest bubble. Therefore, you get the swell radio from the Burbank Radio and Appliance Company in Burbank, California, to get from Mr. L to you.

[Johnny McGuffins]

And we all.

[Lou Costello]

For blowing such a big extra bubble, we give you this Revo target top. The Revo target top is a fascinating new toy made by Revo of Pasadena. That's for you. And wait a minute, Leo. I think we got something else. Right over here. This is a sterling silver ring with your name engraved.

[ADT Announcer]

We all know that feeling. You finally managed to get away on vacation. And the worrying starts. Will that bogus Beware of dog sign keep your home safe? What about that fake camera you set up? And will someone finally find your old Hide and Key rock? That's where ADT comes in all that stuff. It's safe.

[Lou Costello]

Ish.

[ADT Announcer]

It seems fine when you don't really think about it, but you know it truly doesn't work. Instead, ADT provides security solutions that keep you actually safe, giving you real peace of mind. Because vacation is supposed to be, you know, relaxing. Don't settle for safe.ish. visit ADT.com today to learn more.

[Lou Costello]

And it comes from the California house of Schrager. From Norman Schrager to you. The beautiful sterling silver ring. What's your name? Leo. Go in a box of your name, Leo. Go right in there and pick her out. And now we have the next contestant over here. And is she pretty? Oh, she's gorgeous. Come right over here, sweetheart. First of all, honey, I want to ask your name.

[Child Contestants]

Sarah.

[Lou Costello]

Sarah. Now, what's your last name? Could you just. A little louder?

[Child Contestants]

Sarah.

[Lou Costello]

Well, that's a very nice name, and I like it. Who gave you that name?

[Child Contestants]

My mama.

[Lou Costello]

Well, I think your mama gave you a very beautiful name. How old are you, Sarah?

[Child Contestants]

Seven.

[Lou Costello]

You're seven years old? Well, Sarah, you're very cute. Where'd you get the pigtails? Mama fixed them up, too. Yeah, look at you. Now, here's your question, Sarah. What do you usually find inside of a milk bottle? You usually find nothing inside of the milk bottle?

[Child Contestants]

No.

[Lou Costello]

Does the milkman deliver milk your house?

[Child Contestants]

Yeah.

[Lou Costello]

When it brings you the milk bottles, what's in it? Well, you better. You better get your mama after that milkman because that guy's delivering you milk with nothing in it. You better. That must be real past your eyes. Milk. It goes right past your eyes. And that's it. Well, honey, that might. I guess you're right. Because if the milkman brings you milk, there's nothing in the bottles. That must be the right answer for you. So therefore, I'm going to send you over to Mr. Rabbit, sir, and he's going to give you a beautiful gift. Now come over here and look. Look. We have for you a whole. A whole box of famous chocolate milkshake bars made by the Hollywood Candy Company. And every month for the next year, we will send you another box of these swell bars. And after the show, each kid in the audience gets a chocolate milkshake bar from you.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Well, we're off the next contest.

[Lou Costello]

There's a little kid here. He cuts his hair right now the way I used to cut mine when I was his size. How old are you?

[Child Contestants]

Nine.

[Lou Costello]

Nine years old. What's your name?

[Child Contestants]

Leonard.

[Lou Costello]

Leonard. Last name?

[Child Contestants]

Miller.

[Lou Costello]

Leonard Miller. Where you from, Leonard?

[Child Contestants]

From New Jersey and came out here about three years ago.

[Lou Costello]

You're from New Jersey. You Came out here three years ago. And you like to sell? Well, you stayed here?

[Child Contestants]

Yeah.

[Lou Costello]

What about some New Jerseyne? You know, I'm a Patterson boy. I was. I was born and raised in Patterson, New Jersey. That's the stone store from Dayon. Well, anyway, here's your question. Don't look at this. Don't look at it. That's cheating. Now, here's your question. How many guns do you hear in a 21 gun salute?

[Johnny McGuffins]

None. None?

[Lou Costello]

None, huh? Why?

[Child Contestants]

I'm using squared guns.

[Lou Costello]

Yeah, from New Jersey. Well, here's the sensational new Hollywood reflex camera. Now you can take perfect pictures. And also for you and each contestant on our show we have a set of the famous flow ball little jewel pens. Well, I have get on my knees for the next little girl. How old are you?

[Child Contestants]

Five.

[Lou Costello]

Five years old. You're a very pretty blonde.

[Child Contestants]

Thank you.

[Red Rider]

You're welcome.

[Lou Costello]

What's your name?

[Child Contestants]

Donna cla.

[Singer]

Long.

[Lou Costello]

Donna Claire Long. And you're five years old.

[Red Rider]

Where do you live, Donna?

[Child Contestants]

Stay in Chicago.

[Lou Costello]

Chicago. Well, it looks you have a lot of friends out there. What are you doing in California, Donna?

[Child Contestants]

Oh, we're just out here for our vacation.

[Lou Costello]

You're just out here for your vacation and you're five years old and you talk like this, huh?

[Child Contestants]

Yeah.

[Lou Costello]

I think there's a place in motion pictures for you. Oh, laughing, huh? I like that laugh. As long as we're talking about laughing, I'm going to ask you a question, Donna. What kind of an animal gives a horse laugh? What kind of an animal gives a horse laugh? Well, that's. That's good enough for me. That's good enough for me. And that. Now, that's the right answer. I'm gonna let you have that. Now, how does a baby horse laugh? The little baby horse jumps up and how does it grow? How does it last when it comes? Did you ever see Abbott and Castellum pictures?

[Child Contestants]

No.

[Lou Costello]

You could have kept that for yourself, Lou.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Not too many.

[Lou Costello]

Oh, but you've seen us in pictures. But not too many.

[Child Contestants]

No.

[Lou Costello]

When you go to see Abbott Night, do you laugh? You laugh. Will you see our pictures?

[Child Contestants]

Yeah.

[Lou Costello]

Well, if the pictures was funny, how would you laugh? Well, Donna, I'm going to send you over to Mr. Rabbit because I think he got a very fine gift for you. And you're a swell little girl and you talk wonderful. Okay, Donna, Donna, Donna, We've got troubles. You to take back Chicago with you. You win this pedigreed ideal cocker spaniel puppy and in six months to Wilson's Ideal Dog food. Ideal feeds your dog in seven ways. And here is your ideal puppy. I'm take that back to Chicago with you. Well, here's our next concession. Over here, another guy. How old are you?

[Child Contestants]

Six and a half.

[Lou Costello]

Six and a half years old. What's your name?

[Child Contestants]

Ray.

[Lou Costello]

Ray. And your last name?

[Child Contestants]

Michael Simhorn.

[Lou Costello]

What was that?

[Child Contestants]

I'm the Michael Singlehorn.

[Lou Costello]

Raymond Michael Schermerhorn. All right, Raymond Michael Schermerhorn, here's your question. Now listen to this one, because this is a very difficult question. This is a hard one. Who usually sets off a burglar alarm?

[Johnny McGuffins]

My father.

[Lou Costello]

I don't know. Better you keep quiet, Lou. You kids are killing me. Well, Mike, are you from Los Angeles? Where are you from?

[Child Contestants]

I'm from Virginia.

[Lou Costello]

Virginia. Way back in Virginia. Where bots in Virginia?

[Child Contestants]

I don't know.

[Lou Costello]

You know, just Virginia, huh? Just the state of Virginia. That's good. Now, here's another question. What kind of fruit is used to make tomato soup?

[Child Contestants]

My father.

[Lou Costello]

Your father makes tomato soup? Now listen, this is a hard question. What kind of fruit is used to make tomato soup? Tomato soup.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Tomatoes.

[Child Contestants]

Right.

[Lou Costello]

You win a whole year supply of famous Jack and Jill ice cream made by Bressler Brothers Ice Cream Company. And after the show, each kid in the audience gets an ice cream cone. And I want all of you kids listening to watch for the Abbott and Costello Giant ice cream cone. Because when you buy a giant cone, you are helping the Luke Costello Youth Foundation. Now wait a minute. Before you think such a swell little boy. Hey, we've got an extra prize for you. What do you have here? Two pairs of Ranch Champ blue jeans and a Ranch Champ cowboy hat from the Howard Orange Supply Company of Los Angeles. L. It's all yours. Take it home with you now, honey, on account we got to go extra fast. I'm just going to ask you how old you are.

[Johnny McGuffins]

11.

[Lou Costello]

11. And you're very beautiful. And I want you to walk over to Ms. Abbott right away and say to Ms. Abbott, give me my prize. Go right over and say that.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Quick.

[Lou Costello]

All right, you have your prize. Go l shop in Beverly Hills. Here's a beautiful pair of shiny B Rose I like. Take him right home with you.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Each week we're sending a thousand pieces of Bergen's Better bubble gum and a loan of tiny McCarthy money to the kids at some orphanager home. Well, kids, how did you like bubble or nothing? And now we present the new Costello Junior Youth Foundation Award. This award is given each week to a boy or girl 16 years of.

[Child Contestants]

Age or Younger you.

[Johnny McGuffins]

The listeners select this winner by writing a letter to Abbott and Costello, Hollywood, California telling of a good deed done by some boy or girl. The letters are judged by a board of directors and the winner receives many valuable prizes. The winner of this week's award is four year old Patsy May Cummings of Raven glen Farm, Route 45, Illinois.

[Lou Costello]

Wait a minute Johnny. Take it easy for a minute. Are you sure you read that right? A four year old girl?

[Johnny McGuffins]

That's what it says here Mr. Abbott.

[Lou Costello]

And Johnny, that is correct too. Little Patsy May come and see. Is just four years old. I know it doesn't sound possible for a four year old girl to perform a civic good deed which would entitle her to the Luke Costello Jr. Youth Foundation Award. Come on, come tell us what this little four year old girl did. I certainly will. Little Patsy May Cummings lived with her mother and her 13 months old baby brother in a trailer on a farm in Illinois. A few weeks ago, at eight o' clock in the evening Mrs. Cummings, who operates a dairy farm put little Patsy May and her infant brother James to bed in the trailer. Then they went out to deliver the milk leaving the two children at the. Please. Too bad she's burned to the ground. It was a nice trailer too. My baby.

[Johnny McGuffins]

My baby. My poor baby.

[Red Rider]

Now calm yourself lady.

[Lou Costello]

Are those your babies?

[Johnny McGuffins]

You're all right mommy.

[Red Rider]

Well, you're still returned to the ground lady, but those things go up awful fast.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Oh well, it's a shame we had to lose our home but my babies are safe. I don't know how to thank you for saving your lives. Thank goodness about me in time lady.

[Red Rider]

I didn't save the babies. When we got here the trailer was nearly completely burned out and that little.

[Lou Costello]

Girl was sitting right where she is now with the baby in her arms.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Py honey, how did you manage to get the baby out? Well, I heard a noise and everything was on fire and the baby was crying. It was getting awful hot and so I picked Jamie up and brought him out there.

[Red Rider]

That's a remarkable child you have. Most huts that size would have been so scared they probably wouldn't have been.

[Lou Costello]

Able to get out of that trailer that themselves let alone carry a baby out.

[Red Rider]

And if this little girl hadn't carried.

[Lou Costello]

That baby out when she did, he would surely have been burned to death.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Oh Pat Mary, I'm so proud of you.

[Lou Costello]

Now you see, if you don't get excited and lose your heads when disaster threatens you, you can most always come out of it. All right. Little Patsy May come in here did, and she's only 4 years old. And I think Touchy Mae Cummings really deserves the Luke Castella Jr. Youth Foundation Award. What do you. What do you think, kids? Well, Johnny, now you go ahead and give the youngest member on our honor roll our award.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Tassie May Cummings votes this week's Moose Patina Youth foundation award. And here are your prizes. This is a solid gold 17 jewel grew engraved from HUD and Lo. Next, a beautiful alligator leather personal radio from David's Industrial Gloves of Springfield, Ohio. Now you can have your radio with you wherever you go from the K Jewelry stores of America. A beautiful compact and a stunning necklace and bracelet and a super streamlined airflow monarch bicycle. This is a Monarch super Deluxe, America's most beautiful bicycle. A complete set of all the medals of the presidents of the United States in a beautiful leatherette case. Presented by one of America's leading crime concerns, the Numismatic Gallery of Beverly Hills and our beautiful Stromberg Carlson Radio. The world's finest and a gift from you to your mother. The sensational new purity. The nearest thing to push button housekeeping. And another gift to your mother. A complete service for 8 of Franciscanware made by Gliding machine and company.

[Lou Costello]

And to you, Patsy May Cummings was this week's Luke House Telegenia Youth foundation trophy for good citizenship. This is a beautifully engraved gold trophy made by Dodge Incorporated, largest manufacturer of trophies in the world.

[Johnny McGuffins]

Luke House Yellow Gina Youth foundation award is given each week to a boy or girl for a civic good deed. Anyone can write a letter nominating a boy or girl. Just write to Abbott and Costello, Hubbard, California. Simply tell the story of an obstacle and a good deed or act of.

[Child Contestants]

Heroism by a boy or girl 16 years of age or younger.

[Lou Costello]

Well, kids, that's all for today. That's right, bud, but we'll be back next Saturday with another great star and the award for some desert boy or girl. And lots of fun for all your kids along. Till next Saturday.

[Johnny McGuffins]

This is our next news award winner. Any member, you can nominate a winner by writing the letters to Evan and Costello, Hollywood, California. Don't miss a regular Evan C. Night Happy Mate Cummings and her mother were portrayed by John Bender and Lois Corps overseas and facilities the Armed Forces Radio Service and attempts Live in Hollywood Ritual Produced by Eddie Farman and directed by Martin.