Abbott & Costello 42-11-19 (020) Knights in Shining Armor with Merle Oberon

Summary

Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Abbott & Costello 42-11-19 (020) Knights in Shining Armor with Merle Oberon
Release Date: March 27, 2025

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Overview

In this delightful episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, iconic comedy duo Bud Abbott and Lou Costello reunite with the celebrated actress Merle Oberon for a humorous adventure titled "Knights in Shining Armor." Set against the backdrop of wartime efforts at the Long Beach airbase, the episode masterfully blends classic Abbott & Costello slapstick with engaging guest interactions, all while cleverly incorporating period advertisements.

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Main Skit: "Knights in Shining Armor"

Setting the Scene
The episode unfolds at the 6th Ferrying Group Air Transport Command in Long Beach, California. Bud Abbott and Lou Costello portray aspiring filmmakers grappling with the challenges of producing their latest picture, "The Brave Knight." They are joined by Merle Oberon, who plays the glamorous Princess Guinevere.

Character Dynamics and Humor
From the onset, the chemistry between Abbott, Costello, and Oberon is palpable. The trio navigates comedic misunderstandings, particularly surrounding costume design and production mishaps.

• Bud Abbott's Antics: Abbott's portrayal of an overconfident yet bumbling actor leads to numerous laugh-out-loud moments. For instance, when debating costume practicality, Abbott quips at [00:17:08], “I'd have to be oiled to make love to you in an iron suit,” showcasing his impeccable timing and delivery.

• Lou Costello's Reluctance: Costello, as Sir Porterhouse, often finds himself reluctantly entangled in Abbott's schemes. His humor shines when he retorts at [00:17:52], “Never mind,” highlighting his exasperation with the unfolding chaos.

• Merle Oberon's Graceful Comedic Timing: Oberon seamlessly transitions from the poised Princess to an active participant in the comedic mayhem. Her line at [00:15:27], “Where did he learn to kiss like that?” after being kissed by Abbott, adds a layer of charm and wit to the ensemble.

Plot Highlights

1. Casting Challenges: The duo's quest to cast Merle Oberon introduces the flamboyant fashion designer, Pierre, whose unconventional ideas spark a series of comedic disagreements. At [00:13:33], Pierre's attempt to suggest harmonious colors for costumes is met with Abbott's sardonic humor: “That ain't a dress. That's a Fruit salad.”

2. The Dragon Conundrum: The heart of the skit revolves around the impending threat of a two-headed dragon attacking the kingdom. As tension mounts, Abbott's exaggerated bravado and Costello's hesitation culminate in a hilarious confrontation. Notable exchanges include Abbott's mock heroics at [00:23:13]: “I just invented a lady's leg paint that takes the place of stockings,” juxtaposed with Costello's bewildered responses.

3. Climactic Battle and Resolution: The climax features a comical battle scene where Abbott and Costello attempt to thwart the dragon's plans. The chaos is heightened by Abbott's antics, such as his attempt to engage the dragon with nonsense commands at [00:24:53]: “There's a fancy line. Grab him by the gullet.”

4. Romantic Interlude: Amid the chaos, Abbott seizes a romantic moment with Oberon, leading to a tender yet humorous kiss that temporarily halts the dragon's rampage. Oberon’s line at [00:26:05], “I'll kiss you if only you stop those awful hiccups,” underscores the blend of romance and comedy.

Notable Quotes

• Bud Abbott:

  • “[00:17:08] I’d have to be oiled to make love to you in an iron suit.”

• Merle Oberon:

  • “[00:15:27] Where did he learn to kiss like that?”

• Lou Costello:

  • “[00:17:52] Never mind.”

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Intermittent Advertisements

Throughout the episode, period-appropriate advertisements seamlessly integrate into the narrative, enhancing the authenticity of the Golden Age of Radio setting. Notable endorsements include:

• Blue Cash Every Day Card: Promoting cash-back opportunities on essentials ([00:00:01] – [00:00:15]).
• Camels Cigarettes: Featuring testimonials from fictional characters and endorsements from soldiers ([00:07:55] – [00:30:10]).

These advertisements, while distinct from the main skit, provide nostalgic value and contextual depth to the era portrayed.

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Behind the Scenes and Production Notes

The episode pays homage to the collaborative spirit of wartime America, highlighting the camaraderie among servicemen and entertainers. The inclusion of military references and recruitment messages at the end reinforces the episode's historical context.

Guest Appearance:
Merle Oberon's participation adds star power and elevates the comedic interplay, bridging the gap between classic radio entertainment and Hollywood glamour.

Creative Direction:
Directed with precision, the episode maintains a brisk pace, ensuring that humor remains front and center without overstaying its welcome. The balance between scripted comedy and improvisational flair is expertly handled, making "Knights in Shining Armor" a standout installment in the Abbott & Costello series.

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Conclusion

"Knights in Shining Armor with Merle Oberon" exemplifies the timeless charm of Abbott & Costello, enriched by Merle Oberon's graceful performances and the era's authentic radio elements. This episode offers a perfect blend of humor, romance, and wartime camaraderie, making it a must-listen for fans of old-time radio and classic comedy.

Whether you're a longtime follower or a new listener, this episode captures the essence of the Golden Age of Radio, delivering laughter and nostalgia in equal measure.

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Notable Transcription References:

• Character Introductions and Interactions: [01:15] – [05:17]
• Skits and Comedic Scenarios: [05:17] – [26:28]
• Advertisements and Announcements: Interspersed throughout, particularly at [00:00:01], [00:07:55], and [28:05] – [30:10]

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Thank you for tuning into Harold's Old Time Radio. Stay tuned for more golden age classics!

Transcript

[Bud Abbott]

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[Lou Costello]

At supermarkets, online retail purchases and gas stations.

[Bud Abbott]

That's how we started growing our family's little nest egg. Take the next step with Blue Cash every day from Amex. Learn more at americanexpress.com Explore BCE terms and cash back cap apply.

[Lou Costello]

C A M E L S Camels the cigarette that's first in the service presents from the 6th Ferrying Group Air Transport Command at Long Beach, California, the Abbott and Costello program. The show the songs of Connie Haynes.

[Bud Abbott]

And the Channel 5.

[Lou Costello]

Tonight's guest, Ms. Merl Oberon. And starring Bud Abbott and Luke Gonzella.

[Merle Oberon]

Hey, Abbot.

[Bud Abbott]

Oh, come on. What's the matter with you, Castella? Hey, Abbott. I want to ask you a very personal question. What is it? Do you think I'm fat? Well, I'd say you were on the plum side. Why do you ask? Well, I was over by one of those big hangars. I was standing next to a blimp. All of a sudden an officer points to me and says, look, they're making them with faces now. Oh, he was just kidding. You know, there's nobody that has a better sense of humor than a flying man. I know that too, Abbott, because I'm a flying man myself. What do you mean? I started flying when I was a six month old baby. You flew when you were a baby? Yep. I flew out of my nurse's arms and made a perfect one point landing. No, no, you mean three pint. No, one point safety pin was open. C. I don't believe you've ever been up in the air. Oh, yes, I have. I used to be a hostess. Well, you walked into that one, my friend. For your information, plane hostesses are always female. This was a male plane. Tell me, Costello, when was the last time you were up in the plane? Do you want the truth or my version? Oh, no, no, no, no. I want the truth. I think we'd get more laughs the other way. No, no, no, no. Tell the truth. Okay, I'll tell the truth. All right. I took my first plane ride today. Captain Dick Lassiter took me up in a great big plane. Tri motor. Try what I said tri motor. Certainly. We tried the motor. What do you think we did? Push it. No, Skippy, I'm not going to get it up in the air and then try it. All right, forget about it. Forget about the motor. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, the other thing. By the way, what kind of a pilot is he? Was he flying blind? No, he was perfectly sober. What a dope. Of course he was sober. Well, never mind that. You know, Lou, I wonder what these boys down here at Long beach do when they go on leave. Well, I saw a bunch of the boys down at the beach with their girlfriends. Did they go down there to spoon? Well, they didn't go down there to wash their socks. Well, here's Ken. Niles. I've been waiting to see you, Ken, I was wondering what your wife thought of the picture we made last week. That's right, Niles. What does she think of my acting?

[Lou Costello]

Well, I don't mind telling you that she absolutely raved.

[Bud Abbott]

She raves, eh?

[Lou Costello]

Yeah, they took her away the next morning.

[Bud Abbott]

What's so funny about that? Did you make that up yourself?

[Lou Costello]

Yeah, out of my head.

[Bud Abbott]

You certainly are. I hate that way. I know you do, but quit arguing, Costello. I want to hear more about the picture. Did you read any reviews, Ken?

[Lou Costello]

Ah, yeah, sure. The Druggist Weekly gave the picture 4 aspirins.

[Bud Abbott]

See what happens, don't you? He's got the band framed up. Sandy's got the band framed. That wasn't a funny line. There was nothing. No, nothing funny about that, brother. Can you imagine that? Listen, Ken, I read all the Reviews and even Mrs. Roosevelt mentioned our picture in her column. What did she say? She said my day was ruined. That's the one line. I don't know why they got it in.

[Lou Costello]

Yeah.

[Bud Abbott]

Wait a minute, Lo. Lou, didn't we get any compliments at all? Oh, sure, we got one chair that I remember. Where from? The Bronx. The Bronx? You know, in Hitler's face. Without music. Oh, yes. Well, maybe we should give up the idea of producing our own pictures. Don't you be silly. Perfume Pictures Incorporated is here to stay and I'm ready to start another picture right now. Push the button for my secretary. Okay. Hey, hey, what's the idea of a horn for a buzzer? She used to be a waitress in a drive in.

[Lou Costello]

Oh.

[Merle Oberon]

Oh, boy, I'm sorry. It was late this morning.

[Bud Abbott]

Are you doing anything tonight?

[Merle Oberon]

Why, no, not a thing.

[Bud Abbott]

Then try and get here on time tomorrow morning. Fine. Secretary. How did you get a job here?

[Merle Oberon]

I used to be in pictures. I played in the Way of All Flesh.

[Bud Abbott]

What part did you play?

[Merle Oberon]

One of the meatballs.

[Bud Abbott]

Everybody gets laughs but me. All right, have patience, have patience. By the way, do I have any appointments today?

[Merle Oberon]

Yes, at 12 o'clock. You have an appointment with Hedy Lamar.

[Bud Abbott]

What am I doing after that?

[Merle Oberon]

Me, he asked.

[Bud Abbott]

Mr. Costello, could I speak to you for a moment? Why, it's spots for Twink our salaman. What's on your mind, Bots? Well, I want you to know that I was terribly hurt because I wasn't in your picture last week with Carmen Miranda. After all, if you're looking for new faces, look at me. My face is new, isn't it? Oh, very new. In fact, your whole head has only been slightly used. Please give me a chance, Mr. Costello. I really do have a lot of talent, you know. I do most of the voices in all the Leon Schlesinger cartoons for Warner Brothers. Don't tell me. Yeah. For instance, here's a little Porky Pig. This is the way I talk when I play Porky. Porky, that's all. I'll play Porky for you for a thousand dollars. What are you talking about? Warner Brothers don't pay you, that I know, but pork has gone up. What else do you do, Butsford? Oh, did you ever hear Bugs Bunny? I have a carrot here, so I'll give you a little sample. What's up, doc? What do you say, Tubby? What's cooking, huh? Of course, if you use Bugs Bunny, you'll have to use my wife, Mrs. Bunny. But we can't use two rabbits in our picture. Well, we couldn't separate them. That would be splitting hairs. Well, if you can't use the rabbit, maybe I could furnish some of the musical background. I can imitate an electric organ. Listen, it's clever, Amy. You call it an organization. Now, listen, Botsford, I can't use any of that stuff in my picture. Now, will you get out of here?

[Lou Costello]

Now look what you did.

[Bud Abbott]

Now look what you did. Now look what you did. Every time you yell at me, yell at me, I get the head, he gets the hit. When you yell at what he gets at, why do you yell?

[Lou Costello]

How did I know?

[Bud Abbott]

Did I know that when I talked loud against the heat, did I know that? Well, don't yell at him. Do something for the pot fella. Please, Botsford, I said talk to the rest of them, Potts. But I'm talking low and easy. Now, take it easy. No more hiccups. That brings him out of it. That brings him out of it, does it? I didn't know that. All right, take it easy. How do you feel? Better now? Oh, you do? I feel fine. Oh, my. Glad of that habit. Now, let's get back to this picture. But, Mr. Costello, are you sure you can't use the organ botch. But how many times do I have to tell you that I don't?

[Lou Costello]

Please, Please.

[Bud Abbott]

Oh, yes.

[Lou Costello]

Niles, I want to ask you something. Do you know anything about winter sports?

[Bud Abbott]

Are you kidding? I'm one of the best ski jumpers in the country.

[Lou Costello]

Really?

[Bud Abbott]

Sure. Last winter at Lake Placid, I made my biggest jump. I climbed up to the top of the slide. Thousands of people were looking up at me. And when I leaped into the air, I went down at 60 miles an hour and I made a sensational jump up 200ft.

[Lou Costello]

200Ft?

[Bud Abbott]

Yep. And I could have even gone further if there was snow. Oh, look better tonight. Thank you.

[Lou Costello]

I know another good skier, and his name is Dick Duras, and he's one of the finest skiers in the world. In fact, he's so good that the government asked him to give instructions to ski troopers in lightning fast mountain warfare. Dick knows his smoking, too. He said, quote, I've smoked Camels for years. They have the full, rich flavor that I want in a cigarette. No matter how often I smoke, Camels never tire my taste, never get my throat. Unquote. Yes. And with many in all the services, Camel is the favorite, too. According to actual sales records in the stores where they buy cigarettes. Try Camels yourself for steady pleasure. You'll like the way they hold up, wear well, pack after pack, no matter how many you smoke. The reason is extra flavor. And you know, Camels always have more flavor. Better yet, Camels combine flavor with extra mildness. The extra mildness that goes with slow burning and cool smoking. One reason for that is costlier tobaccos blended, as only Camels know how to blend. Now remember, you're the one who's doing your smoking. Your throat and your taste will tell you C A M E L S Camels get it back tonight. Send a carton to that fellow in the service. Lee Stevens, the orchestra and the Camel 5 with a new treatment for an old tune. By the light of the silvery moon.

[Bud Abbott]

By the light of the silvery moon do, do I want to spoon to my honey I'll prune love tune honeymoon Keep shining in June. Your silvery beans will bring love's dreams. We'll be cuddling soon by the silvery. Mo Costello, we can't hold up production on your new picture any longer. Now we've got to get a leading lady. How about giving that secretary of yours a chance? She has blue eyes and blonde hair and a Supreme Court figure. What do you mean, a Supreme Court figure? A Supreme Court figure. What do you no appeals. Oh. Besides, I phoned Merle O'Braun about playing a leading part. You did? Yes. I picked up the receiver and I said, merle, darling. Merle, sweetheart. Merle, my love. And then. Then I dialed her number. Merle O'Brien. Merle O'Brien would be swollen. Our picture, you know. And I. I sent for a new fashion designer. What is this that just popped in here? What happened? Well, now, wait a minute. I sent for a new fashion designer. I. Is that it? Now he's in. Come in. Good evening, gentlemen. I'm your new fashion designer, Pierre.

[Lou Costello]

You Pierre?

[Bud Abbott]

To my friends, I'm Pu. You said it, brother. Hey, get a look at that guy's hair. He's a male Veronica Lake. Pierre, this is Lou Costello. Oh, how do you do, Mr. Costello? Thank you, sir. You are just the man I'm looking at. I've not seen you any long distance. See the way his hair hangs over his face? Pardon me. Pierre, was your mother ever scared by a sheepdog? Oh, come on. Leave the man alone. We've got to get him to design Ms. Oberon's clothes. Now, no more remarks about his hair. Looks like a palm tree in a high wind, doesn't it? Well, Mr. Costello, I admit that my hair is a standing joke. Well, it needs a new switch. I don't know what's wrong there. Keep quiet. We must have Miss Oberon's wardrobe design before she gets in. Pierre, would you mind telling us some of your ideas on women's clothes? Oh, not at all. You know, the main thing is color harmony. Color harmony? What's that? Well, it's very simple, Mr. Costello. For instance, if you were carrying a pink bag, you would not wear a green dress, would you? Oh, gracious, no. I wouldn't dare. Well, I'd be the laughing stock of my sewing circle. All right, come on.

[Merle Oberon]

Never mind.

[Bud Abbott]

What kind of line is that to get me a good man? Forget it. Skip those things. Come here, Pierre. Now, with a shortage of materials, how about something plain for Miss Oberon to wear? We'll call it a defense dress. How about that? How about making that out of barbed wire? That isn't a fence. It ain't exactly an invitation.

[Lou Costello]

Go ahead, Pierre.

[Bud Abbott]

Suggest a dress for Merle O'Brien. You know, something that you can wear in our picture. Well, being a brunette, I would suggest that I make Miss Oberon a gown of apple green with a peach skirt, lemon trimmings, plum ruffles, an orange belt and a tangerine scarf. That ain't a dress. That's a Fruit salad. Nevertheless, that sounds fine. Now, what about Merle's hat? Well, the hat should be very simple but very smart. Do you think the boys in camp here would like Ms. Aubrey in a hat that has three roses and a ribbon on the side? No, they'd rather have four roses with a chaser on the side. Now, get out of here and I'll design the clothes myself. Now, Costello, you can't design clothes. Is that so? I just invented a lady's leg paint that takes the place of stockings. It even covers the knees. It disguises the knees. You said it. You can hardly recognize the old joints. Well, we let Merle O'Brien design her own clothes for the picture. What do you say?

[Merle Oberon]

Yes, and I'm just the girl who can do it.

[Bud Abbott]

Now, listen, kid, you keep out of this. Look who it is. It's Merle O Bron. Come on, Merle. I'm overjoyed.

[Merle Oberon]

I'm overcome.

[Bud Abbott]

I'm overwhelmed. I'm over here, Merle, I've always been in love with you. You're so beautiful. Can I give you a kiss?

[Merle Oberon]

Well, all right, but just one.

[Bud Abbott]

Lou.

[Merle Oberon]

Where did he learn to kiss like that?

[Bud Abbott]

I used to be a bugler and a boy scout. Now, look, if you folks don't mind, we'll go over the. Of the picture that you are going to play tonight. It's a story of the knights of Old Merle. You play a beautiful princess and you wear a hoop skirt.

[Merle Oberon]

A hoop skirt?

[Bud Abbott]

Yeah, a hoop skirt. That's a parachute with legs. Costello plays the part of a knight. He's in love with you.

[Merle Oberon]

I thought knights were tall.

[Bud Abbott]

Well, kid, on account of daylight saving time the nights are getting shorter as the first scene opens. Merle, you're in the palace awaiting the arrival of your lover. You are playing the organ. Organ? Like this. Botsford, Didn't I tell you that you couldn't be in this picture? Don't shout at him. All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All right, I'm sorry. I'm talking nicely. Relax. Take it easy. All right, Botsworth, shout out him in a moment. I'm talking nice. How easy can I talk? I'm okay. I'm sorry, Botswana. I'm okay now, Mr. Costello. Oh, I'm glad you are. Now, keep out of the picture. You did it again. Again. I did it again. Don't yell at me. Watch it. I'm sorry. Will you please put a gag in his mouth? Put a gag in his mouth. If I had a gag, I'd tell it myself. Come on, let's get back to this story. Costello, as a knight, your costume is a suit of armor.

[Merle Oberon]

That's right, Lou, you wear an iron coat, an iron vest and iron trousers. In fact, you wear a whole iron suit.

[Bud Abbott]

Where do I get a press that Lockheed.

[Merle Oberon]

Now, your suit may become rusty, so you better keep yourself well oiled.

[Bud Abbott]

I'd have to be oiled to make love to you in an iron suit. Merle, you walk out on the balcony. Yes, and I sneak right up to it.

[Merle Oberon]

But how'd you get across the moat?

[Bud Abbott]

I caught the guard with his bridges down. Then we have the big scene where Costello serenades you with a song of love.

[Merle Oberon]

And Lou, I will drop a flower.

[Bud Abbott]

On you in a mad moment of love.

[Merle Oberon]

No, in a pot.

[Bud Abbott]

Now, Merle, you signal that the coast is clear. And Costello, you climb the balcony. You reach Merle's side. You're panting from the long climb in that suit of armor. Yes, that's it. You gaze into her eyes. Remember, this is your big chance.

[Lou Costello]

Never mind.

[Bud Abbott]

No more pants. Never mind that. There's emotion in your voice as you stand there in your iron suit. What do you say to her? Hey, kid, have you got a can opener?

[Lou Costello]

Here's Connie Haynes with a Camel 5 with a new Roomba from the fan of Cole Porter.

[Merle Oberon]

Hasta Luega In a small cantina on an island far Senorita Lena sang a song to a hot guitar all the ding dong dandies used to gather about when the lovely Lena Lady Veena would give in and give up Hasa luego Too bad we must call Pasa luego and that muchaka love, sweetheart Once they'd married, Lena and her rich old guy moved to Pasadena where the best people go to die. But when she'd collected all his copper preferred back to her cantina lovely Lena went flying as she purred Hot dog to ego Too bad we must part and there's mucha good luck, sweetheart.

[Bud Abbott]

Too.

[Merle Oberon]

Bad we must part oh, hafsa due and there's mucha good luck, sweetheart.

[Bud Abbott]

And.

[Lou Costello]

Now, ladies and gentlemen, Perfume Pictures Incorporated presents the great costume drama entitled the Brave Knight. Cut off the Dragon's Tail or the dragon isn't wagon anymore. The beautiful princess Guinevere is played by Merle Oberon. Lou Costello is the brave knight, Sir Porterhouse. And Bud Abbot is his good friend, Sir Loynd. I play the part of the king. As the scene opens, the princess and I await the arrival of two brave knights in our kingdom. Curtain. Greetings. Brave knights, kindly approach the Throne.

[Bud Abbott]

Greetings, your Majesty. I am Sir Loynd, Knight of the Bath from Saxony. And I am Sir Porterhouse, Knight of the Bath from Constantinople. What kind of worse did I give you?

[Lou Costello]

Constantinople?

[Bud Abbott]

Yes, Turkish Bath.

[Merle Oberon]

Greetings, brave knights. I am the Princess Guinevere.

[Bud Abbott]

And who are those beautiful dames with you?

[Merle Oberon]

They are my ladies in waiting.

[Bud Abbott]

Well, what are we waiting for? Quiet, Castello.

[Merle Oberon]

Oh, Sir Porterhouse, you must save our kingdom. The people are angry. They're clamoring outside the gates of the palace. Just listen to them. Clamor, clamor, clamor, clamor, clamor.

[Lou Costello]

Did you hear that? The people are revolting.

[Bud Abbott]

They certainly are. No.

[Merle Oberon]

No, no. The people are starving. They have not eaten in five days.

[Bud Abbott]

Oh, they should try and force themselves. They gotta eat. But, my dear princess, have we no food?

[Merle Oberon]

Alas, no. The dragon has destroyed our crops.

[Bud Abbott]

You mean all our corn is gone?

[Merle Oberon]

Yes, there's only enough left for this program.

[Bud Abbott]

What's so funny about that? What a fresh princess. Listen.

[Lou Costello]

Listen to the people shouting. They have been shouting for five days. But I dare not speak to them.

[Bud Abbott]

I will speak to the people, your Majesty. Open the door. I'll make a speech. People of Saxony, gather that got him. Now, my dear Princess, just what do you desire us to do?

[Merle Oberon]

My dear knight, for several years now my father has been bothered by a terrible dragon.

[Bud Abbott]

Why doesn't he pick up his feet?

[Lou Costello]

You don't understand.

[Bud Abbott]

You don't understand.

[Lou Costello]

Nobody understood that today the dragon is coming to carry off the Princess.

[Merle Oberon]

Guinevere, you must save me from this mean monster. Sir Porterhouse, he's a very mean beast.

[Bud Abbott]

Okay, kid.

[Merle Oberon]

He has two heads, one at each end.

[Bud Abbott]

How does she sit down?

[Merle Oberon]

He can't. That's what makes him so mean.

[Bud Abbott]

Well, don't be mean. Don't worry, Princess. All right. I'm allowed one mistake. I am not afraid of nothing. One time I climbed up a tree and I bagged a ferocious tiger.

[Merle Oberon]

You went up a tree after a tiger?

[Bud Abbott]

No, he came up after me. But you said you bagged him. I did bag him. I bagged him to go away, but it wouldn't.

[Merle Oberon]

What happened?

[Bud Abbott]

Well, I snapped at the tiger, the tiger snapped at me, and suddenly something whiz past me. What was it? Pomona Clark? Saints, Will you. Then my uncle came to my rescue and I finally brought that tiger home. Stuffed.

[Merle Oberon]

What was he stuffed with?

[Bud Abbott]

My uncle. Oh, your Majesty, the dragon is almost upon us. He's coming to get the princess. Quick, Princess, button up my iron suit. Wait a minute. Just a Minute I thought you were a princess.

[Merle Oberon]

I work the swing shift on the side.

[Bud Abbott]

Costellos. Look at that thing, belching smoke and fire. Is that the dragon? It ain't a smudge pot. I'm getting out of here.

[Merle Oberon]

It's too late. He's got us trapped here.

[Bud Abbott]

Here he comes now. Do what he does. Do exactly what he does. Right. He's staring at you. Stare back at him. I can't. I can't do it. Quiet. He's roaring at you. Roll back at him. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Now he's wagging his tail. That lets me out.

[Merle Oberon]

Look out, look out. He's got a charge.

[Bud Abbott]

He's gonna charge. How much? Ow. Quick, grab him.

[Merle Oberon]

Grab him. Fiber Gullet.

[Bud Abbott]

There's a fancy line. Grab him by the gullet. By the what? The gullet. Gullet. The dragon's neck. Let him neck. What do I care about in love life? Give me my sword. Give me my shorts, somebody. I'll cut his nose off. But how do you smell? That is something that should only interest another dragon. Look out. He's coming at you. Be careful, Costello. Your back is turned to him.

[Merle Oberon]

He's coming up behind you.

[Bud Abbott]

I know, I know. He got me. Where did he get you? Well, if I was wearing a license plate, he would have got off the last three numbers. Hey, he ruined my suit. My good iron suit. He ruined. You nasty dragon. Get out of here. Oh, don't do that. Don't yell at me. How can I do the. How can I do the dragon? Watch me. Stop. Stop. What can I do to keep you quiet? Botched. We're cutting off. Sorry. And it's your own fault for hollering at him. There's only one. Only one thing that'll cure my hiccups if you Let me kiss Ms. Oberon.

[Merle Oberon]

Oh, very well. I'll kiss you if only you stop those awful hiccups.

[Bud Abbott]

Go ahead, Botsford, kiss her.

[Lou Costello]

Okay.

[Bud Abbott]

How do you feel now, Botsford? Oh, I feel fine.

[Merle Oberon]

But what?

[Lou Costello]

Some tunes you whistle for a while and then forget another, stay with you for years. I think the ones you remember are the ones that have character. I believe that goes for cigarettes too. We say that Camels have character and we back that up with the thousands of smokers who have stood by Camels for 20 years and more. We think it's true that more people have smoked Camels longer than any other cigarette. Try Camels and see for yourself. Try them in your T zone. That's T for taste and T for throat. Your own proving ground for Cigarettes. Your taste will tell you that Camels have more flavor. And it's extra flavor that helps make Camels hold up day in and day out. Makes the second pack better than the first and the third better than the second. Your throat will tell you about mildness too. It's the best judge you'll find. Yes, camels are mild, cool, smoking, slow burning. Because they're expertly blended of costlier tobaccos. Your throat and your taste will tell you C A M T L S Camels get a pack tonight. You'll want to buy a carton tomorrow. Here's more news about the Camel Caravans, those traveling shows which entertain the men in the army camps. 32 performances of the Camel Caravan units will be given to men in the training stations throughout the coming weeks. And now here are Bud Abbott and Luke Ostello with a final word.

[Bud Abbott]

Thanks, Ken. Ladies and gentlemen, it's really been a thrill for Bud and me to do this program from the Ferry In Command airbase here at Long Beach. And an added thrill to be here with Merrill O'Brien.

[Merle Oberon]

Thank you, Lou. I had a wonderful time and it's been lots of fun.

[Bud Abbott]

That's right, Merle. And we'd like to extend our Sincere thanks to Colonel Ralph East Bake, Lieutenant Colonel John P. Frame, Jr. And their splendid staff of officers for the opportunity to make this visit. Next week we'll be back in Hollywood on Thanksgiving Day. In addition to the regular gang, we'll have as our guest Herbert Marshall. And we do hope you'll all join us. Until next Thursday. Bud and I wish you all a very pleasant good night.

[Lou Costello]

The Camels present four great shows each week. Tomorrow night, the Camel Caravan with Lanny Ross, Xavier Cougat, Herb Shriner, Lou Lair and their guest star, Bob Hope. Saturday night, thanks to the Yanks with Bob Hawk. Monday night, Blondie. And next Thursday. At the same time, Abbott and Costello with their guest, Herbert Marshall. Our broadcast this evening was from the 6th Ferrying Group, Air Transport Command at Long beach, and does not constitute an endorsement of our product by the War Department as they do not endorse any product. The army has also requested us to make this announcement to all men of 18 and 19. There is a serious need for young men. So serious that the army is willing to let men of 18 and 19 choose whatever branch of service they desire. Go to your nearest army recruiting office or induction station tomorrow. Learn about the jobs the army has open in 13 different branches, all explained by men who know these jobs inside and out. Listen to the Camel Caravan tomorrow night with Manny Ross, Xavier Kugat, Herb Shriner, Lou Lair and their guest star, Bob Hope. And now, this is Ken Niles wishing you all good night. Mister, if you've got a pipe that's biting you, why, it just means one thing. Your pipe's hungry. Yes, sir.

[Bud Abbott]

Hungry for Prince Albert.

[Lou Costello]

The mild, rich, tasty tobacco that won't bite your tongue because it's no bite treated pas Crimp cut too, for easy packing and stay lit. Burning around 50 pipefuls in every handy pocket package. Get Prince Albert tonight. You'll see why men call it the National Joy Smoke. This is the National Broadcasting Company.