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It'S mystery time. Tonight Mystery Classics stars Lawrence Olivier in the Suicide Club. He died after all. Was it murdered in suicide, murder and accidental death. A shuffle of the card, then they were dealt out. And if you draw the wrong card gives me the shiver. So I'm sure you'll listen as intently as I shall. It's that second famous chilling classic by Robert Louis Stevenson, now transcribed, the Suicide Club. Starring Lawrence Olivier. This is the story of a frightening adventure. I do not propose to tell you my name and after you've heard the story will perhaps understand why not. One night in an oyster bar not far from Leicester Square. What's your fellow doing over there, the one who just come in? Huh. It seems to be for those two commissionaires, it's got a dish or something about. Haven't they seem to be offering everyone something to eat. What are they, pies or something? Yes, they look like it's some sort of tarts, I think. Yes, they're green tarts. Green tarts in an oyster bar seems to be giving them away. I'm not surprised. Maybe it's a wager. Well, looks we're going to be offered some too. Will you do me the honor of eating one of these? I can answer for the quality of the pastry. I've eaten 27 of them myself since five o' clock. 27? That's rather a lot, isn't it? Well, that's a principle, sir. Every time my offer is rejected, I instead call eating the top myself. All right then, Colonel. We'll help you out on one condition. If my friend and I both eat your tart, you must join us for supper after. Well, I've several dozen still on hand, so I'll have to visit a few more bars before I go. Rid of them all. If you're already hungry, gentlemen, I. My friend and I will go around with you. It looks a very pleasant way of passing an evening. Stupid. Splendid, too. Delicious. Well, there was obviously a story behind all this nonsense. My friend and I were anxious to hear it. Chose a little French restaurant, Soho, ordered a private room, very good meal and champagne for the occasion. Young man ate surprisingly well, despite his rather sickly hors d' oeuvre. And over the dessert, we persuaded him to begin his explanation. Is there any reason why I shouldn't tell you my story? So perhaps that's why I'm going to do so good real. I come from quite a respectable family, you know, and I started life with quite a reasonable fortune. I had a lot of amusing adventures. Even fought a duel when I was in Paris. By the time I began to come to my senses, I had very little fortune left. And Cropcliffe fell in love. I had nothing left to offer the young lady. I came to the sad conclusion that there was really nothing very much left to live for. No, I got rid of all the money I had left under the last £80, which left me just £40 to get rid of during the course of today. £40? What happened to the other 40? That went for a very particular purpose? Well, I've spent a very amusing day getting rid of my last few pounds on the cream tarts over which we met. And I wanted to close a foolish life in a. In a particularly foolish manner, which you must admit. Well, I shouldn't deny that. But what happens next? Oh, I'm not complaining. And at least I'm not a card. I've lived my life and enjoyed it, so now I simply have to get. Get rid of it. You mean. You mean kill yourself? Who hadn't often thought of doing it? You know, young fellow, it's a curious coincidence. Bar of the whole of London, you went and picked on a couple of people in much the same position as yourself. Yes. What, you mean your ruin, too? This very excellent supper of last extravagance as well, like My green dust. Well, near enough. Just to get rid of any slight disparity. Let's put five pounds here on the table to cover the bill. And have you a match? Yes, thank you. Burn the rest like this. What the devil are you doing? You'll be another fool. No, Aunt, we all. Good heavens, haven't you got any money left at all? Now, why didn't you keep your £40? £40? Why, I know £40. For that matter, why not 80? You must have earned the best part of a hundred. £40 would have been enough, but without that, no admission. They're very strict about the rules. Fine business when you can't even die without money. I think you better explain yourself. Do I have to? If you haven't the £40, what's the point? Well, I happen to have enough for both of us. Think we really need it. I thought you were in the same straits as I was. I seem to remember that you had £80 yesterday. Yes. Yes, I have. You're not fooling me. You are as desperate as I am. Oh, bored with life, if that's what you mean. God hadn't made that clear enough by burning my last money. Perhaps you can afford to burn £100 or so. I'm no millionaire, if that's what you mean to do. Well, here's to your health and good night, my merry. Ruined. Oh, no, you can't get out of it like that. You tell me that you're desperate, and I accept the fact. Why should you have less confidence in me? In either of us? Yes. Then you're not joking. You really are. Like you. We've had enough of life, haven't we, Colonel? Yes, sooner or later. Alone, not together. Prepare to put an end to it. Auntie. Colonel. Well, now that we've come across you, and since you seem to be in a hurry, well, we can make it tonight just as easily. Why not? All three of us together? Yes, why not? That really goes for you as well, Colonel. Yes, yes, certainly. Provided you something in mind. And you really can't put up the £80 between you two? 10, 20, 40, 60. £80. A few left over. I shouldn't forget about the rest. 40 pounds each is the entrance fee. The entrancy. Entrancy to what? To the suicide club. How it's managed or who started the club, I don't exactly know. But what I do know, I'm under the tentative. If you are really tired of life, both of you, I'll take you to a meeting of the club. And if not tonight, at least Sometime within the week, you'll quietly cease to listen. And you say that you're a member of this club? Yes, I paid my subscription today. I shall be going there in. What time is it? In half an hour. You've just got half an hour to make up your mind whether you're coming with me or not. If you were serious, then you've nothing to lose. I'll be back for your decision in half an hour. Gentlemen, now you have made up your mind. Supposedly you don't want to draw back while it's still time. No, I'm not in the habit of drawing back either. Very well. We'll take a four wheeler. Gabby. Wait. Sir. Drive us to the address from this Peter. Peter. Very good, sir. After you, gentlemen. Well, gentlemen, in the circumstances you'll appreciate that a certain amount of secrecy is called for until you're actually enrolled in the club. You'll forgive me if I take the precaution of blindfolding. Ghost. Mrs. Smith? Yes, I'm afraid it is. You see, gentlemen, this is not a joke. The cat stopped at last in a dark street and the young man paid it off, took advantages of our eyes and invited us to follow him down an alleyway. He knocked at the door. The door was opened and we were ushered into an entrance hall. Young man left us for a few minutes and we heard voices. At last an inner door was opened and we found ourselves in the presence of the president of the club. Sit down, gentlemen. I told you wish to see me. You wish to join your club, sir? The Suicide Club. Forgive me, gentlemen. You appreciate I have to take precautions. So you wish to join the Suicide club. May I ask your reasons why? Well, I was a colonel till I was cashier for cheating at cards. And you, sir? She's laziness. Laziness? Hang it. You must have a better reason than that. Why should I have? I've lost all my money, can't be bothered to make any more. If I wasn't so experienced in these things, I should probably return you both away. As if. As I happen to know, suicide is almost always committed for the most frivolous reasons. Very well then. If you are prepared to take the oath in the manner prescribed, you will be accepted as members. The oath, I need hardly say, is an oath of secrecy. We're careful to make it binding in the very highest degree. When you have taken the oath, if you're willing to do so, that is. Then you'll be enrolled forthwith as members of the Suicide club. We have bound ourselves on oath to keep the Secrets of the Suicide Club. Nothing could be conceived more passive than the obedience promise or more stringent than the terms to which we had agreed. The man who broke that oath of silence could scarcely have a rag of honor or any of the consolations of religion left to him. We signed the document, but not without a shudder. The President received our entrance money and without more ado took us through into the smoking room of the Suicide club. There we were introduced to our fellow members. This a full master of the club. Oh, middling, by the way, if you you have any money, it's usual to offer champagne. It keeps up a good spirit and it's one of my little perquisites. I shall have to leave that to you, I'm afraid, Colonel. Certainly. Four bottles with my compliment. Thank you very much. Oh, please make yourselves at home. We looked about us with interest. Few of the other members were much above 30 and one or two were still in that team. One man interested me intensely. He was probably upwards of 40, but he looked fully 10 years older. I'd never seen a man more naturally hideous nor one more ravaged by his excesses. He was partly paralyzed and was the only man in the room who shared the composure of the President. I got into conversation with him. You're a new governor, are you? Well, perhaps I can help.
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Your mind regret. I've been coming here regularly for two years now. Two years? But I thought members could only expect to last for a week or so. Ah, yes, but my case is peculiar. I'm not, properly speaking, a suicide at all, merely an honorary member. I only visit the club once every two months or so. My infirmity, you know. And I pay a special rate. Even so, my luck has been quite extraordinary. Your luck? Still don't really understand. Oh, no, of course not. An ordinary member who comes here looking for death, like you, returns every evening, feel fortune favoured him. He can even live on the premises quite cheaply. The President's company is worth the money in itself. I shouldn't have thought so. Oh, but you don't know the man. The drollest fellow. What stories and what finishes. I take it into permanency, like yourself. The only permanency, really. So far, I've been graciously spared. But I am the spirit. Go at last. But the President never plays, of course. He shuffles and deals for us and makes all the necessary arrangements. He's been running the club for over three years and not a whisper of suspicion has been aroused. Quite astonishing when you come to think of it. And he assists the members to commit suicide. Yes, indeed. The whole thing's in his hands. You remember the case last week? The man who was accidentally poisoned in a chemistry. I read about it in the papers. Beautifully arranged, though. One of our presidents left racy notions. But how simple and how safe. You mean that man was one of the victims? I. I mean one of your members, of course. Nearly every accident which you read about in the papers. Indecent society, of course, is arranged for one or other of our members. Ex members. I. Forgive me, I'm still in the dark. You said that you've been lucky enough in lasting so long. I thought that the whole idea was to die as quickly as possible. Naturally. But As I explained, I'm a special case. To me, the club is a sort of temporal intoxication. If I could stand the excitement, I should come here more often. As it is, I. Regardless of the ultimate em. Dissipation. I think I can say I've tried every other thought. You can now believe it. If you'll excuse me saying so, I'm flattered. Some people get their grossest excitement out of love or gambling or crime. To me, there's nothing so exciting as fear. In fact, you can envy me. I'm an utter coward. To such as me, the club offers particular excitement. It does. I'm still in doubt. How is the excitement, as you call it, arranged? Of course, I must tell you how the victim. I think that was your word, how the victim is selected every evening. But not only the victim. The other member who is to act for the club and become Death's high priest for the occasion. You mean it? To kill each other? Yes. The trouble of committing suicide. You mean one of us may take this even to kill one of the other? Why not? We should merely be doing him a service he requires. Would you refuse to oblige a friend? Well, since you say that, the game is interesting and exciting. How is it playing? The members sit around the table and the president shuffles and deals the cards one at a time to each member. In turn, the member turns up his ties and I assure you, the suspense is almost unbearable. Exquisite. One of the cards means that the member is to die? Exactly. The ace of spades is the card of death. And the card that turns him into a murderer, we prefer to say appoints him official of the night. That's another ace. The ace of clubs. Now I could understand only too clearly the man sitting by himself in the window, his head hanging, hands trust deep in his trouser pockets, pale and sweating, the sphere a wreck in soul and body. I could understand the cynical smile on the face of the president, the only one in the room who had nothing to lose by the game, who charged each man the price of his death or the hire of the killer. At last we met again. The man who had brought us to the club. The young madman of the Cream Path. Is this your first night here as a member? I take it that it is, yes. As I said, quite a few of my friends have been members in the past. That's how I came to hear about it while they were waiting for their ace of spades. You may remember a certain baronet who was crushed to death by a falling wall last month. Yes, I Seem to remember him. Is he a member as well? He brought me with him to the door the night of the accident. Nobody outside this room knew what really happened to him. And a member who abides him was drowned in a boating accident the following weekend. I hope to be a fortune on your first night. Isn't that rather unlikely? Unlucky at love, you know. Lucky at cards. I lay you five to one that I draw the ace to make. I thought you'd spent your last sovereign on cream tart. I'm sorry. Of course I did. Well, wish me luck anyway. I wish you all. That you wish your friends. I wish you the same. Is it your pleasure, gentlemen? Yes. This will decide it one way or the other. Manifolding doors had been thrown open. And the whole room full of men began to pass into the next room. The gaming room itself was similar in every way to the one which we had left, except for the furniture. The center of the room was occupied by a long green table at the head of which the president seated himself. In front of him was a pack of cards which he began to shuffle and cut with careful deliberation. Thirteen members sat down at the table, my friend and I, between the young man and the semi paralyzed honorary member. Very well, gentlemen. For the benefit of our new members, each of you must declare the card that's been dealt to him before I deal the card to his neighbor. Is that understood? Yes. Very well then. I will begin to deal. Full of heart. Neighbor's spade. 10 parts. Queen of hearts. 3 of cups. 8 of diamonds. Head of cap. Knave of diamonds. Ace of hearts. No, no. I must ask you to declare your cards. And the ace of clubs. The ace of clubs. The card of the killer had been dealt to the young man of the cream cast. Dropped it on the table, his face whiter than the pasteboard, then left his plate at the table and stumbled back into the smoking room. The excitement on the gaming table was now electric. The killer was known. And somewhere among the remaining 12 was the victim. Hope, fear, envy and abject terror shone from the watching eyes of the player. Striking contrast to the cynical smile of the dealer. Five of hearts. King of spades. Four diamonds. The card had not been dealt to every member on the table. The president began to deal the second round. Ace of clubs. Queen of spades. Five of clubs. Six of diamond. Seven of spade. King of hearts. Two of diamonds. And once again the dealer come round to me. As I turn my card on the table, my heart was pounding in my chest, 10 apart. And now it was the turn of my neighbor, the honorary member. Peace of spade. No. No. I don't want to die. I don't want to. D Game for the night was at an end. As we left the room, the president beckoned to the young man of the dream. T the man who had hoped to die was receiving his instructions as official of the night. A friend and I made our escape as quickly as we could. Beheld a handsome cab which took us back to our home and back to some degree of sanity. Next morning my friend came round to call on me after breakfast. Well, have you seen it? This morning's paper? No. What? I haven't looked at the papers yet. Then read this. Mr. Bartholomew Malthus, well known in social circles, and Sir Andrew Flem were killed in a fall from the fourth floor window of the former's town residence. It appears that Sir Andrew had offered to assist Mr. Malthus up the stairs to his apartment as the latter was suffering from the effects of a partial stroke. On emerging from the lift, it is thought that Mr. Malthus must have been seized with an attack of giddiness which caused Sir Andrew to lead into an open window at the end of the corridor. It is thought that one of the gentlemen must then have stumbled and that the other, in trying to save him, was dragged through the window in his turn. The honorary members and the young man was the crane tough. So he died after all. Was it murder and suicide or murder and accidental death? I wonder. Whatever it was, the world can spare them. Both of them. Yes. Only one thing lacking to make it poetic justice. You mean the president? Yes, the president of the suicide club. What is the ultimate state of those other members of the club? Whether the club is still in existence or whether the murderer whose brain conceives it came to a violent end in turn. That is something I shall never know. All I know is this, that I never read of a fatal accident in the papers. Now, without wondering whether it was an accident or just one further member of an association of madmen. Madmen whose £40 had been paid to join the suicide club.
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Release Date: June 11, 2025
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Title: ABC Mystery Time - Suicide Club
In this captivating episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio with the enthralling adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson's classic tale, "The Suicide Club". Hosted by Lawrence Olivier, the episode masterfully blends suspense, psychological drama, and the eerie allure of secret societies, embodying the timeless charm of vintage radio storytelling.
The narrative unfolds in a dimly lit oyster bar near Leicester Square, where two commissionaires—Colonel and his friend—encounter mysterious vendors offering green tarts. Their curiosity piqued by the peculiar offer, they accept the tarts, setting the stage for an evening of unexpected events.
As they dine in a secluded French restaurant in Soho, a young man shares his tragic tale of lost fortune and unrequited love, culminating in his decision to join a mysterious Suicide Club. The club, shrouded in secrecy, requires members to pay an entrance fee and participate in a chilling card game where fate determines who will die.
"I came to the sad conclusion that there was really nothing very much left to live for."
— Young Man, [02:30]
Driven by desperation, both commissionaires agree to join, embarking on a nightmarish journey where the boundaries between suicide and murder blur. The club's president orchestrates the proceedings with cold precision, ensuring that each session results in the death of a member under mysterious circumstances.
The plot thickens as the commissionaires navigate the sinister rituals of the club, leading to unsettling coincidences and unexplained fatalities. The episode culminates in a haunting revelation of the club's true nature and the ambiguous fate of its members.
"What the devil are you doing? You'll be another fool."
— Colonel, [15:45]
Colonel: A protagonist grappling with despair and the allure of the Suicide Club as a means to end his suffering.
"I've been coming here regularly for two years now."
— Colonel, [24:21]
Young Man: A pivotal character whose tragic backstory and introduction to the Suicide Club set the narrative in motion.
"I may have earned the best part of a hundred. £40 would have been enough, but without that, no admission."
— Young Man, [04:15]
President of the Suicide Club: The enigmatic leader who maintains strict secrecy and orchestrates the deadly games.
"The oath, I need hardly say, is an oath of secrecy."
— President, [18:30]
Ghost (Honorable Member): An honorary member who has survived longer than typical members, providing insight into the club's operations.
"If you are prepared to take the oath in the manner prescribed, you will be accepted as members."
— President, [17:10]
Desperation and Fate: The story delves deep into the human psyche, exploring how desperation can lead individuals to seek out dangerous and fatal solutions.
"I had nothing left to offer the young lady. I came to the sad conclusion that there was really nothing very much left to live for."
— Young Man, [02:45]
Secret Societies and Control: The Suicide Club epitomizes the allure and terror of secret societies, highlighting themes of control, secrecy, and the manipulation of vulnerable individuals.
"Nothing could be conceived more passive than the obedience promise or more stringent than the terms to which we had agreed."
— President, [19:00]
Moral Ambiguity: The blurred lines between suicide and murder raise questions about morality, autonomy, and the ethical implications of taking one's life versus being coerced into death.
"We should merely be doing him a service he requires. Would you refuse to oblige a friend?"
— President, [21:15]
Isolation and Camaraderie: Despite their shared grim fate, members of the Suicide Club experience a complex mix of isolation and camaraderie, binding them through their collective despair.
"Some people get their grossest excitement out of love or gambling or crime. To me, there's nothing so exciting as fear."
— Honorary Member, [22:50]
Richard Karn's Advertisement Segments:
"I'll tell you what an exciting radio exclusive offer just for you for a limited time."
— Richard Karn (A), [00:00]
Narration and Storytelling:
"This is the story of a frightening adventure. I do not propose to tell you my name and after you've heard the story will perhaps understand why not."
— Narrator, [01:08]
"What happens next? Oh, I'm not complaining. And at least I'm not a card."
— Young Man, [05:30]
"The card of the killer had been dealt to the young man of the cream cast."
— Narrator, [10:45]
Climactic Moments:
"As we left the room, the president beckoned to the young man of the dream."
— Narrator, [16:50]
"I never read of a fatal accident in the papers."
— Colonel, [23:10]
"ABC Mystery Time - Suicide Club" stands as a testament to the enduring power of radio drama. Through meticulous storytelling, compelling performances, and intricate plotting, Harold's Old Time Radio successfully resurrects the spine-chilling essence of Stevenson’s work. The episode not only entertains but also invites listeners to ponder profound questions about life, death, and the human condition. Whether you're a longtime fan or new to old-time radio, this episode promises an unforgettable auditory experience that captivates the imagination and heart alike.
In keeping with the podcast’s authentic vintage format, several commercial breaks and public service announcements interspersed between the narrative sections. Notably, advertisements for Pocket Hose Copperhead, advocacy for flavored tobacco restriction in Oregon, and style tips from Wayfair were presented but omitted from this summary to maintain focus on the core story.
Enjoy reliving the golden era of radio with Harold's Old Time Radio—where every broadcast is a journey back in time.