Abe Burrows Show 48-05-22 Ep44 The Purple Phantom

Summary

Podcast Summary: Abe Burrows Show 48-05-22 Ep44 "The Purple Phantom"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
• Episode: Abe Burrows Show 48-05-22 Ep44 "The Purple Phantom"
• Release Date: May 23, 2025
• Description: Dive into the Golden Age of Radio with classic shows that captivated families before the advent of television. This episode features a unique blend of musical performances and theatrical storytelling centered around "The Purple Phantom."

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1. Introduction

The episode begins with Abe Burroughs introducing the show, setting the stage for an evening of entertainment. Abe is temporarily filling in for regular hosts Dewey and Stassin, promising listeners a mix of "jerky ballads" and an original operetta titled "The Purple Phantom."

Abe Burroughs ([00:38]): "...some jerky ballads, plus a whole danged operetta. A program which should prove both diverting and nerve-wracking."

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2. Musical Opening: "Laundry List" Love Ballad

Dewey and Stassin perform a heartfelt ballad that Abe describes as a "laundry list type song." The song poignantly captures the emotions of a man reminiscing about his lost love through various mementos.

Dewey ([01:41]): "You are gone and I am here I am here and you are gone..."

The performance cleverly integrates spoken interjections between Dewey and Stassin, adding depth and character to the narrative.

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3. Introduction to the Operetta: "The Purple Phantom"

Abe transitions into introducing his original operetta, providing listeners with a detailed overview of the plot set in glamorous, romantic California from 75 years prior. He paints a vivid picture of the era, highlighting the shift from daring highwaymen to the rise of slot machines as the new symbol of rebellion.

Abe Burroughs ([05:10]): "...the hero of our operetta is the most famous bandit in all California. His name is the Purple Phantom."

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4. Operetta Plot Overview

Dewey and Stassin collaboratively narrate the storyline of "The Purple Phantom," bringing characters to life through dialogue and song excerpts. The narrative follows the infamous bandit, the Purple Phantom, as he encounters English nobility during a stagecoach robbery.

• Encounter with English Nobility:

  The Purple Phantom and his bandits confront Fortescue Fitzwater, Earl of Waterfitz, and his niece, Lady Jennifer Duff, leading to a tense and dramatic interaction.

  Dewey ([07:12]): "We are bandits bold... Some call us highwaymen and Robin Hoods, but we're really dirty cruts."

• Developing Relationship:

  As the story unfolds, a complex relationship develops between the Phantom and Lady Jennifer, culminating in a revelation of true identities and mutual affection.

  Dewey ([09:03]): "But we love each other."

  Stassin ([10:51]): "I am Fortescue Fitzwater's son."

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5. Musical Interludes and Character Songs

Throughout the operetta, original songs enhance the storytelling, conveying the emotions and motivations of the characters. One notable song performed is a spirited number titled "California Cow," which serves as the grand finale.

Dewey ([12:47]): "Cow, cow, cow if on, on, on, on yeah. California, California..."

These musical segments are reminiscent of classic radio operettas, providing both entertainment and narrative progress.

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6. Intermission and Additional Advertisements

In a humorous twist, Stassin diverts from the operetta to market Listerine toothpaste, blending the show's narrative with comedic advertising.

Stassin ([10:53]): "...Listerine toothpaste really cleans your teeth. And how it's great for massaging your gums..."

This segment maintains the old-time radio feel, where advertisements seamlessly integrate with program content.

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7. Conclusion of the Operetta

The operetta concludes with the Purple Phantom deciding to abandon his life of crime in favor of a more honest profession, symbolizing personal transformation and redemption. The ensemble joins in a final, uplifting song celebrating California.

Stassin ([12:09]): "...the hero is going to go into business in California as a used horse dealer..."

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8. Closing Remarks

The episode wraps up with Stassin and Abe Burroughs delivering final thoughts and advertisements, maintaining the show's characteristic blend of performance and promotion.

Abe Burroughs ([14:33]): "...Lambert's new Listerine Brushless. Nothing wilts whiskers better..."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Abe Burroughs introduces the operetta:

  "...the most famous bandit in all California. His name is the Purple Phantom." ([05:10])

• Dewey delivers a poignant line during the ballad:

  "You are gone and I am here I am here and you are gone..." ([01:41])

• Purple Phantom's Declaration of Love:

  "But we love each other." ([09:03])

• Plot Twist Revelation:

  "I am Fortescue Fitzwater's son." ([10:51])

• Finale Song Excerpt:

  "California, California California C A, L, I F O, R N I A..." ([12:47])

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Insights and Conclusions

"The Purple Phantom" operetta encapsulates the charm and ingenuity of Golden Age radio, blending dramatic storytelling with musical flair. Through its engaging plot and memorable characters, the episode pays homage to classic radio dramas while introducing original content that captures the imagination. The seamless integration of humor, narrative, and advertisements further enriches the listener's experience, making this episode a standout installment in the Abe Burrows Show series.

Listeners new to the show will find "The Purple Phantom" both nostalgic and fresh, showcasing the timeless appeal of radio theater. The inclusion of notable quotes and the detailed plot summary offers a comprehensive understanding of the episode's content, ensuring an enjoyable experience even without prior listening.

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Tune in next week for another exciting episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, where classic entertainment meets timeless storytelling.

Transcript

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[Abe Burroughs]

From Hollywood, we present the Abe Burroughs Show. Brought to you by the makers of the new fresh mint flavored Listerine toothpaste. And here is Abe Burroughs.

[Dewey]

Hello.

[Stassin]

Hello. I'm Burrows, like he said. Well, I'm going on the air now to fill in for 15 minutes while Dewey and Stassin are resting. Got a lot of stuff planned for this evening. Some really jerky ballads, plus a whole danged operetta. A program which should prove both diverting and nerve wracking. For my first number, I would like to, if you'll pardon the expression, sing, attend a little love ballad. It's one of those songs where a guy is reminded of his lost love. By a lot of little things and souvenirs which he itemizes. It's what I call a laundry list type song. Like this.

[Dewey]

You are gone and I am here I am here and you are gone Gone are you and here am I Little things around the place I find that of you do me remind.

[Stassin]

The pile of dirty dishes and the garbage.

[Dewey]

In the sink the spot upon the carpet where your mother spilled her drink.

[Stassin]

The picture of your father that was.

[Dewey]

Taken in the clink Sweet foolish little memories the wedding license that we thought would start a gay adventure the baseball bat you used the time you thought I needed Sent you the little satin jewel box where you kept your plastic denture Sweet tender little memories we could have been such a happy pair but something must have gone wrong it started with the honeymoon trip I still think I should have gone along the label From a bottle of Mom's Cordon Roux champagne the scars upon my ankle where I wore the ball and chain the.

[Stassin]

Hacking cough I got the night you.

[Dewey]

Shut me out in the rain Sweetened a little mammal read.

[Abe Burroughs]

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[Dewey]

Sa.

[Stassin]

Yeah, that was great. No, that was Baby Face and that was Milton Delug in the quartet helping to age it. Well, now if you all settle back and listen. I got here an operetta, of course. I've just written this operetta and it's not really ready for presentation. It's rough. Needs finishing and smoothing and polishing and possibly burning. Anyway, I'd like to tell you something about the plot and maybe sing 15 or 20 of the songs. The scene of my operetta is old California, about 75 years ago. Glamorous, romantic California. Back in the days when a man could gallop along the road on a dashing horse without people thinking he worked for Republic. In those days, California, like the rest of the west, was overrun with bold, dashing highwaymen and Robin type hoods. These bandits. These bandits have since disappeared from the whole West. Modern technology has replaced all of them with slot machines. Well, the hero of our operetta is the most famous bandit in all California. His name is the Purple Phantom. As the curtain rises, the Purple Phantom and his jolly bandits are singing a jolly bandit type song. Goes something like this.

[Dewey]

We are bandits bold. We rub and steal. We raise such a terrible fuss. We take from the rich and we give to the poor. And the poor that we give to is us. We're jolly, jolly bandits, ruthless and brave. The kind that you read about in books. Some call us highwaymen and Robin Hoods, but we're really dirty cruts.

[Stassin]

Well, sir, after this song, all the bandits stand around laughing, ha ha.

[Dewey]

Like that.

[Stassin]

When suddenly they spy a stagecoach. Now in the stagecoach are two English people. One is an old man, Fortescue Fitzwater, Earl of Waterfitz. And the other is a girl, the earl's beautiful niece, Lady Jennifer Duff. The lady is Obviously terrified of this strange wild land. You see, English people were always terrified of California. Until it was made safe for the British by C. Aubrey Smith. Well, suddenly the bandits appear. They forced the occupants of the stagecoach to get out and put their hands up. And the bandit leader looks at them.

[Dewey]

Smilingly and says, pardon our intrusion. I am the Purple Phantom.

[Stassin]

Then he shoots the driver of the stagecoach. Knocks the old earl down and kicks him in the teeth. Then he turns to the lady, bows.

[Dewey]

And says, your servant, ma' am.

[Stassin]

And she says, sir, I can see you are a gentleman. Spots him right away. One of the bandits smiles and turns to the man next to him and says, hey, Pedro the boss. She is in love, I think. See, that's just thrown in there. Well, anyway, the story drags on in the usual way. The Purple Phantom takes Jennifer Duff and old Fortescue Fitzwater to his mountain hideout. And there, under the stars, the Purple Phantom stands and gazes at the lovely lady Jennifer. She says to him, tell me, Purple Phantom. And he interrupts her and says, please just call me Purple. And then he tries to kiss her. And she says, how dare you attempt to make love to a noble woman. You who are nothing but a lousy thief.

[Dewey]

Then he says, but we love each other.

[Stassin]

And he sings one of those songs.

[Dewey]

That go something like this. When a man is a man and a girl is a girl and a kiss on the lips is a kiss as long as thou are thee as long as I am me it means that we are we. Well, anyway.

[Stassin]

And she looks at him and says, I've never felt this way before. I'm afraid of you.

[Dewey]

And he says, you're not afraid of me. You're afraid of yourself. Anyway.

[Stassin]

Anyway, they get real chummy. And she tells him that she came to California with Lord Fortescue Fitzwater. And to help him in searching for his son. Who had been forced to leave England in disgrace. You see, he had been a songwriter in England, and he was arrested for treason. When he wrote a song called Sunset on the British Empire. Well, when she tells the Purple Phantom this, we notice that he's sort of guilty. He starts like, you know. And at this moment, the hideout is attacked by a group of rival bandits. There's a fight, and our hero is wounded. Jennifer bends over him and tenderly removes his mask. And then she says, why, you're an Englishman. You see, she knows he's an Englishman by instinct. And by the fact that under his mask he's wearing a monocle. Well, the Phantom looks up and says, you're right, Jennifer.

[Dewey]

I am Fortescue Fitzwater's son.

[Stassin]

Fiftescue. And that's the feist I'd curtain. Now, usually during intermissions at the theater. They sell soft drinks and candy bars. But I'm going to use this intermission to sell Listerine toothpaste. Opportunist I am. You know, last week was the first time I ever did a commercial. First time. And the results were fairly successful. I mean, I don't mean I caused a lot of people to run out of their houses and buy Listerine toothpaste. But I did accomplish this much. I caused a lot of people to run out of their houses. So now let me tell you again about how Listerine toothpaste really cleans your teeth. And how it's great for massaging your gums. And about its fresh, minty flavor. You know, it really has a delicious flavor. No fool. Good taste. Yep. Listerine toothpaste helps take care of your teeth. And in addition, Listerine toothpaste helps take care of burrows.

[Dewey]

That's spelled B U R R O W S.

[Stassin]

Well, now we come to the last act of my operetta about old California. A lot of stuff happens. And finally, our hero, the purple Phantom, who is really fifth. Ask Fitzwater and Jennifer J. Realize they love each other.

[Announcer]

You.

[Stassin]

He decides to settle down and give up the life of a highwayman. He's going to go into business in California as a used horse dealer. He's going to use the name of the Honest Bandit. Well, the Earl is going to stay too. And then everybody on the stage sings the big finale. Which is an Oklahoma type number called California Cow.

[Dewey]

Cow, cow, cow if on, on, on, on yeah. California, California California C A, L, I F O, R, N, I A It's the only state in the whole 48 that's spelled that way. C A R O M L O N F R Ch ch ch Cha cha cha cha cha cha California, California California California what a place this is gonna be what a future I can see oh Someday thousands of orchards will turn out Oranges and grapefruit galore and great big movie studios will turn out lemons by the score this is where I'll always stay so it's M I, S S I Yes, S I, P P I I'm California Here I am. Yo.

[Stassin]

Thank you. Be back again next week with some more of these silly songs. Don't forget to listen. And don't forget, listen to me. Toothpaste. Good night, everybody.

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