Abroad with the Lockharts 31-11-24 (02) Sailing Day

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Abroad with the Lockharts 31-11-24 (02) Sailing Day"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Episode: Abroad with the Lockharts 31-11-24 (02) Sailing Day
• Release Date: February 11, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of "Harold's Old Time Radio," listeners are introduced to the Lockharts—Mr. and Mrs. Lockhart—as they embark on their first transatlantic journey from New York to Europe. Representing the quintessential American couple of the Golden Age of Radio, Mr. Lockhart is the archetypal businessman, while Mrs. Lockhart embodies the charming housewife with a touch of romanticism. The episode captures their humorous and somewhat tense interactions as they navigate the complexities of international travel in the 1920s.

Arrival at the Pier [00:01 - 02:11]

The episode begins with the Lockharts arriving at the bustling New York pier on sailing day.

• Narrator: "Mr. Lockhart represents the average type of businessman... Mrs. Lockhart represents the pleasant type of housewife..." ([00:01])

As they prepare to board, tension arises over the reasons for their trip. Mrs. Lockhart expresses her reluctance, stating:

• Mrs. Lockhart: "I don't want to think of it." ([00:55])

Mr. Lockhart reassures her, highlighting that she agreed to the trip to please him:

• Mr. Lockhart: "Remember, you've taken this trip to please me." ([01:02])

Navigating Passport and Baggage Issues [02:11 - 05:00]

The Lockharts confront typical pre-trip frustrations, particularly regarding passport regulations and baggage terminology.

• Mrs. Lockhart: "Wondering why people ever go to Europe when the government charges them to leave this country..." ([01:16])

A humorous disagreement ensues over the term "baggage" versus "luggage":

• Mr. Lockhart: "Dear, you mustn't call it baggage anymore. It's luggage now." ([02:22])
• Mrs. Lockhart: "Luggage? Why is it luggage?" ([02:25])

Their interaction with the porter further amplifies the comedic tension as Mrs. Lockhart misplaces her tickets, leading to a frantic search:

• Mrs. Lockhart: "Oh, nothing, dear. Nothing. Now, where could I have put those tickets?" ([03:15])
• Mr. Lockhart: "Oh, my goodness, yes. Here they are." ([03:42])

Boarding the Ship and Interacting with the Porter [05:00 - 07:00]

As they proceed to board, the Lockharts engage with the ship’s porter who directs them to fill out forms and handle their documents meticulously.

• Porter: "Fill in these two forms, please, and present them to the gangway." ([03:47])

Mrs. Lockhart questions the necessity of the detailed procedures, while Mr. Lockhart tries to maintain composure.

Meeting the Steward and Planning Onboard Activities [07:00 - 10:56]

Upon boarding, the couple meets their steward, who offers assistance with their accommodations and onboard amenities. Mrs. Lockhart attempts to delegate responsibilities:

• Mrs. Lockhart: "Well, steward, we want to be told what to do." ([06:38])
• Steward: "I take care of everything for you, sir." ([06:54])

Their interactions highlight the Lockharts' differing personalities—Mrs. Lockhart's assertiveness versus Mr. Lockhart's desire for a hassle-free experience.

Notable quotes during this segment include Mrs. Lockhart’s skepticism about life belts:

• Steward: "Life belts are found in the cabins over the wardrobe... It's quite simple." ([09:48])
• Mrs. Lockhart: "How long do you think it would take us to put them on?" ([10:34])

Settling into Their Cabin [10:57 - 13:09]

The Lockharts explore their cabin, revealing Mrs. Lockhart's dissatisfaction with its size compared to initial expectations:

• Mrs. Lockhart: "What is this where we spend five days in this cubby hole?" ([05:55])

Despite her complaints, Mr. Lockhart remains optimistic about their new environment. The steward continues to assist, albeit with subtle hints that not everything can be immediately accommodated.

As they prepare to depart, Mr. Lockhart spots the Statue of Liberty, marking the beginning of their journey:

• Mr. Lockhart: "Oh, look, dear, look, look. We're passing the Statue of Liberty." ([12:21])
• Mrs. Lockhart: "I never knew before that she stands with her face to Europe and her back to America." ([12:25])

This poignant moment underscores the transition from their familiar surroundings to the vast, open sea awaiting them.

Conclusion

The episode concludes with the Lockharts setting sail, leaving listeners in anticipation of their adventures at sea. The narrator hints at future episodes where the Lockharts' experiences aboard the transatlantic liner will be further explored.

• Narrator: "Next week we shall pick them up at sea as they are enjoying life on board a transatlantic liner." ([13:09])

Key Themes and Insights

1. Cultural Adjustments: The Lockharts' interactions highlight the cultural adjustments required when traveling abroad, especially regarding language nuances and bureaucratic procedures.
2. Gender Roles: The dynamic between Mr. and Mrs. Lockhart reflects the gender roles of the era, with Mrs. Lockhart taking a more proactive role in managing their travel experience.
3. Humor in Adversity: The comedic elements arising from their struggles with documents and ship protocols provide a lighthearted look at the challenges of travel in the early 20th century.
4. Expectation vs. Reality: Mrs. Lockhart’s disappointment with the cabin size juxtaposed against Mr. Lockhart’s contentment emphasizes the disparity between expectations and reality in travel.

Notable Quotes

• Mrs. Lockhart: "I feel as if I'd been gone over with a microscope." ([01:52])
• Mr. Lockhart: "Once we get on board, the steward will do everything for us." ([02:11])
• Mrs. Lockhart: "Don't you want to see my distinguishing marks?" ([04:43])
• Steward: "Life belts are found in the cabins over the wardrobe. They are to be used only in case of danger." ([09:48])

Final Thoughts

"Abroad with the Lockharts 31-11-24 (02) Sailing Day" offers a charming glimpse into the trials and tribulations of early 20th-century travel through the lens of a relatable couple. Their journey is marked by humorous misunderstandings, cultural observations, and the enduring spirit of adventure, setting the stage for engaging tales ahead as they sail across the Atlantic.

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Stay tuned for the next episode of "Harold's Old Time Radio" as the Lockharts continue their transatlantic adventure, navigating life on board and the myriad of experiences that come with their first voyage to Europe.

Transcript

[Narrator]

We are about to go abroad with the Lockharts. Mr. And Mrs. Lockhart are taking a trip. To Europe. That is, Mrs. Lockhart is taking Mr. Lockhart. As you probably know, Mr. Lockhart represents the average type of businessman. Blunt, comfortable, knows his own mind, enjoys his business and community, and would much rather have gone fishing. Mrs. Lockhart represents the pleasant type of housewife, belongs to the woman's club and the literary club of her town and still retains the spirit of romance. We listen in on them as they arrive at the pier in New York on sailing day.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Here we are, dear.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Yes, here we are. But where are we?

[Mr. Lockhart]

At the pier, dear, on our way to Europe. Just think of it.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I don't want to think of it.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Now, dear, don't be so grumpy. Remember, you've taken this trip to please me.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I can't forget it.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Very well, then.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

And I hope you won't.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Of course not, dear.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

And I'm not grumpy. I'm just wondering.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Wondering? Wondering what?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Wondering why people ever go to Europe when the government charges them to leave this country and other countries charge them to get into theirs.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, now, dear, please don't start on that passport trouble again.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

And when you've got to show birth certificates, marriage certificates.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Yes, but, dearest, only.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

And get a magistrate to vouch for your good character.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Yes, I do.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

And after you produce a clean bill of health and morals, they put a photograph of you in your passport that makes you look like a crook and a gunman.

[Mr. Lockhart]

But, dear, will you listen? Well, everyone has to go through that, dear. And after all, it's only red tape.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

That's the best thing you've said today.

[Mr. Lockhart]

It really doesn't mean anything.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

That's just what makes me mad. I feel as if I'd been gone over with a microscope.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, it's all over now, dear.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I hope you're right. For I tell you right now, if we've got to go through that same rigmarole in every country we come to, it'll spoil my trip. And I'd rather have stayed home and gone fishing.

[Mr. Lockhart]

It won't be as bad as that. Once. Once we get on board, the steward will do everything for us. There's a porter, dear.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Where?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Over there.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Hey, porter, take this baggage.

[Porter]

Yes, sir.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Dear, you mustn't call it baggage anymore. It's luggage now.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Luggage? Why is it luggage?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Because it said in the guidebook that in Europe, baggage is luggage.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Now, I'm not going to change my vocabulary just because we're going to Europe. Yes, but, dear, it was baggage when we left home yesterday. And it'll be baggage until we get home.

[Mr. Lockhart]

All right. Stubborn.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I'm not stuck. Stubborn.

[Mr. Lockhart]

The porter's waiting.

[Porter]

Follow me, sir.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Where to?

[Porter]

This way, sir.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Have you got your tickets ready, dear?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Yes, they're in my pocket.

[Mr. Lockhart]

And the passport?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

And the passport.

[Porter]

Here we are, sir. Just get in line here and do what that man says.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I will, as long as he's reasonable.

[Porter]

Tickets, please.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Tickets, dear.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

All right. I got them here. And my. Well, now, that's strange.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Haven't you got them?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Why, yes. I thought I put them here in my outside pocket.

[Mr. Lockhart]

What's that in your other pocket?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

That's the passport.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Look in your inside pocket.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

No, they're not there.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, dear. What's that on your hip pocket? In your hip pocket?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Oh, nothing, dear. Nothing. Now, where could I have put those tickets?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, you said a minute ago you had them handy.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

So I did. Maybe I gave them to you.

[Mr. Lockhart]

No, you didn't, or I'd remember it.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Well, now, are you sure?

[Mr. Lockhart]

I'm positive you didn't give them to me.

[Porter]

Hurry up, please.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Will you just look in your purse and see?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, it's no good. You're just wasting time. I know I haven't got. Oh, my goodness, yes. Here they are.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I thought you had them.

[Porter]

Hurry up, please.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

All right, here they are.

[Porter]

Fill in these two ponds, please, and present them to the gangpipe.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

What do I write on them?

[Porter]

Follow the instructions and see that your baggage is taken on board. Show your passport at the next desk.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Where did you say?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Over there, dear, where it says passport.

[Porter]

Passport, please.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Here it is.

[Porter]

Are you a citizen of this country by birth?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I am.

[Porter]

Were your parents and grandparents born in this country?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, yes, sir.

[Porter]

Now, sir, is this your signature?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Yes, that's my signature, but I was sort of tired of it.

[Porter]

Is this a recent photograph of you?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Yes, I had it taken only there.

[Porter]

And you, madam, is this a recent photograph of you?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Yes, but it was taken early in the morning and. And I wasn't feeling very man.

[Porter]

Your husband?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Why, yes.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Here. Now, look here. I gave all this information when I sent for the passport, and I don't want to be bothered with.

[Porter]

All right, sir. Those little questions are just formalities.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Formalities?

[Porter]

That's all, sir.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Oh, just so we can have a. A little chat. They. They don't mean anything.

[Porter]

Well, not in your case. Pass on now, please.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

You mean we can get on the boat now?

[Porter]

You can get on the boat now.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Don't you want to see my distinguishing marks?

[Porter]

It's not necessary.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Sir, now I've got a nice little mole on the back of my neck. I'm just dying to show you.

[Porter]

It's really not necessary. It's on your passport.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

You may think it's on my passport, young man, but I know it's on my neck.

[Porter]

Last on, please.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Getting on one of these boats is as easy as getting a loan without collateral.

[Mr. Lockhart]

There's the steward, dear.

[Steward]

This way, sir. Mind the gangplank. I'll show you to you, Kevin.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, Will, I'm so thrilled.

[Steward]

Follow me, sir.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, dear, just look at all those beautiful bouquets of flowers. They must have been sent by friends. And doesn't the ship look a picture, dear? So clean and thick and thin.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Uh huh.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, we are lucky.

[Steward]

All visitors ashore. Oh. Visitors ashore.

[Porter]

All visitors ashore. All ashore ashore. All visitors ashore. All visitors ashore. All ashore. Ashore, ashore.

[Steward]

You, Arthur, this is your cabin.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, isn't this cute?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

What is this where we spend five days in this cubby hole?

[Mr. Lockhart]

No, dear, we'll only be in here to sleep.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

It's no bigger than the cabin in Charlie's motorboat.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, I think it's very nice.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

On that plan they showed us, this place looked as large as our front room.

[Steward]

Well, sir, it's quite a good sized cabin as cabins go.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I'd hate to see your small ones. What deck is this?

[Steward]

This is deck C, sir.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

And what's above us here?

[Steward]

The promenade deck, sir.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

And what is the promenade deck?

[Steward]

That's where everybody walks up and down, sir.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

That'll be nice.

[Steward]

Oh, you won't hear them, sir.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Now, dear, let's find out what we have to do.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

All right. Now look here, steward, I've got to take someone into my confidence and you're elected.

[Steward]

I'm what, sir?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

You're elected. You're the friend in need.

[Steward]

Quite so, sir.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Now, this is our first trip on the ocean.

[Steward]

So I see, sir.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Oh, you do?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Here, tell him what you want.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Well, steward, we want to be told what to do.

[Steward]

Quite so, sir. I take care of everything for you.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Good. You'll take care of everything for us?

[Steward]

Yes, sir. I'll do all I can for you. Just leave everything to me, sir.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Now that's lovely. The steward will do everything for us, dear.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Now we're getting somewhere. Stuart, what's the first thing?

[Steward]

Well, sir, there's your dining saloon accommodation, your deck chairs and your baths. Those are the first things.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, now, let's arrange about our baths.

[Steward]

Certainly, madam. Now, what time would you like to have your bath?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I suppose we can have our bath whenever we get up, can't we?

[Steward]

Oh, you must set a definite time, sir. What?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, let's say 9:00, dear.

[Steward]

Very good, madam.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Now, you'll arrange that for us, steward?

[Steward]

Oh, not me, sir. You'll have to see the bath steward about your bath.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

But I thought you just said you.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Don'T attend to the bath steward.

[Steward]

No, madam. The bath steward attends to the baths.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, then about our seats at the dining room table.

[Steward]

Yes, madam.

[Mr. Lockhart]

You'll attend to that for us?

[Steward]

Well, no, madam. You'll have to see the dining saloon steward for them, madam.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Oh, you don't attend to that either?

[Steward]

No, sir. The dining saloon steward attends to the dining arrangements.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Well, I'll be.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Now, now, about our deck chairs.

[Steward]

Yes, madam.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Where do you think we ought to have them placed?

[Steward]

Well, madam, for it is a very good place to have them for it.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

What do you mean, forward?

[Mr. Lockhart]

That means the front of the boat, doesn't it, Stuart?

[Steward]

Yes, madam.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, I think that would be very nice.

[Steward]

Then again, madam, aft is a very nice place. Lots of passengers have their deck chairs put aft.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, well, we might have them put.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Aft, wherever that is.

[Steward]

On the other hand, sir, there's a very nice space near the companionway.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, we could have them put there.

[Steward]

Though I might say, madam, it's a bit awkward there at times. On account of the other passengers climbing over you when they go up and down the companion way.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Well, what about the poop deck?

[Steward]

Oh, no, sir. There are no deck chairs up there.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, where would you say that we should have them put?

[Steward]

Well, madam, if I was you, I wouldn't bother about getting a deck chair.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Why not?

[Steward]

Well, sir, there are always lots of empty deck chairs with people being sick. And since this is your first voyage.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

You don't think we'll be needing them?

[Steward]

Well, sir.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, but we must have deck chairs. And we're not going to be no, steward. You arrange for two for us on the sunny side of the boat.

[Steward]

I'm sorry, madam, you'll have to see the deck steward about it.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

You mean you don't attend to that either?

[Steward]

Oh, no, sir. The deck steward attends to the deck chairs.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Say, are you giving us the run around?

[Steward]

The what, sir?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, never mind, Stuart. Now, how do we put on these life belts?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

He won't tell us we have to see the life belt, steward.

[Steward]

Oh, I'll be very pleased to tell you, sir. But if I may say so, I haven't much faith in life belts.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Why not?

[Steward]

Well, madam, in case anything should happen, you'll have quite enough to do Keeping yourself above water, let alone holding up a life preserver.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Gracious.

[Steward]

Excuse me, sir. I'll just get one down from over your head there and recite the instructions. Now then, sir, Life belts are found in the cabins over the wardrobe. They are to be used only in case of danger.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

We're not allowed to play with them on the deck?

[Steward]

Oh, no, sir. Now, the regulation life belt is composed of eight sections of cork covered with waterproof canvas. Four sections for your front, four sections for your back and joined together by two strips of canvas. The head is placed in between the two strips. The four tapes are then wound over the shoulders and passed in the reverse direction under the the armpits in counterclockwise fashion so as to meet eventually in the front where the upper and lower tapes remaining are passed around again around the body and tied securely behind the head. That's all there is to it, sir. It's quite simple.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

How long do you think it would take us to put them on?

[Steward]

Oh, sir, after a few days practice, you should be able to do it in half an hour comfortably. But as I say, sir, I wouldn't bother about them if I were you.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, what are they putting in the cabin for?

[Steward]

Well, madam, they act as a sort of moral support, as you might say. As long as you don't have to use it. Now, is there anything else I can do, sir?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Well, do you mind telling me or letting me ask you a personal question?

[Steward]

Oh, no, sir.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Just what do you do on this ship?

[Steward]

Oh, I find lots to keep me busy, sir. Answering questions and keeping passengers happy.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I see. You're sort of head man.

[Steward]

Beg pardon, sir?

[Mr. Lockhart]

A will.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Never mind, steward. You wouldn't understand.

[Steward]

Quite so, sir. Will that be all, sir?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

It's too much.

[Steward]

Thank you, sir. Now, I'll send the bath steward and the dining steward and the next steward to you, sir. And if you don't mind my suggesting, it's that. A bit busy today at first, you know. But a little promise of something will do wonders, we understand.

[Mr. Lockhart]

A little tip, dear.

[Steward]

That's right, madam. We're all human, you know, Myself included.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I get you.

[Steward]

Thank you, sir. Now we'll let the altar.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

That's all.

[Steward]

Thank you. Shall I close the door, sir?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Well, now, I didn't want to ask you in case you had to send for the door steward. Yes, my boy, you may close the door.

[Steward]

You.

[Mr. Lockhart]

There now, dear, we know just what to do. Oh, it's going to be such a restful trip.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Restful? Say, this bird has just given me a week's work rounding up all these stewards.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Now, don't worry, dear. In an hour we'll be three miles out.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

And do you remember what that circular said? Everything is done for you. Just buy your ticket and forget everything. Lazy days at sea.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, look, dear, look, look. We're passing the Statue of Liberty.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Well, old Lib herself. And I never knew before for what, dear? I never knew before that she stands with her face to Europe and her back to America.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Why, so she does.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

So she does.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Goodbye.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Goodbye. What were you saying, dear? About three miles out.

[Narrator]

I wonder why he wants to be three miles out. @ any rate, the Lockharts have started on their trip to Europe. Next week we shall pick them up at sea as they are enjoying life on board a transatlantic liner. And we hope that you will again listen in as we travel abroad with the Lockharts.