Abroad with the Lockharts 31-12-01 (05) Sightseeing at London

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – Abroad with the Lockharts 31-12-01 (05) Sightseeing at London

Release Date: July 2, 2025
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Episode Title: Abroad with the Lockharts 31-12-01 (05) Sightseeing at London
Description: Dive into the Golden Age of radio with Harolds as he transports listeners to a bygone era, spotlighting family-oriented radio shows before the advent of television. This episode chronicles the Lockharts' amusing and enlightening sightseeing adventures in London.

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Introduction

In this lively episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, listeners are introduced to the Lockharts—Mr. and Mrs. Lockhart—who embark on a sightseeing tour of London. Representing the quintessential British couple, their interactions provide both humor and insightful commentary on London's landmarks and culture.

The Lockharts Begin Their London Tour

The episode opens with Mrs. Lockhart guiding her husband, Mr. Lockhart, to their sightseeing bus. Their playful banter sets the tone:

• Mrs. Lockhart (00:41): "Here we are, dear. This is the sightseeing bus."
• Mr. Lockhart (00:41): "Lord, I'll feel foolish sitting up there."

Their differing preferences—Mr. Lockhart's desire to be near the guide to ask questions versus Mrs. Lockhart's inclination for a comfortable middle seat—highlight their contrasting personalities.

Interactions with the Tour Guide

As the tour commences, the Lockharts engage with the tour guide, whose humor and rapid speech add flavor to the narrative:

• Tour Guide (02:19): "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. We've a nice morning for our drive around the historical parts of the great city of London, the crossroads of the Empire."
• Mr. Lockhart (03:04): "Can you understand him, dear?"
• Mrs. Lockhart (03:05): "Pretty well."

Mr. Lockhart's inquisitiveness contrasts with the guide's jestful responses:

• Mr. Lockhart (03:17): "Doesn't the government stop them from hollering down with the government?"
• Tour Guide (03:21): "Oh no, sir, they couldn't do that. There'd be a revolution."

Humor arises as the tour guide interjects jokes about historical figures and places:

• Tour Guide (05:23): "Where King Charles. I lost his head."
• Mr. Lockhart (05:27): "What for?"
• Tour Guide (05:29): "For not giving a right answer, sir."

These exchanges not only entertain but also provide snippets of British history and culture.

Exploring Iconic London Landmarks

The Lockharts traverse several of London's iconic sites, including:

• Marble Arch (02:32): Introduced as the starting point.
• Piccadilly and Leicester Square (03:30 – 03:54): Highlighted as exclusive and entertainment hubs.
• Trafalgar Square (04:07): Featuring Lord Nelson's monument.
• Buckingham Palace and Scotland Yard (04:28 – 06:34): Noteworthy landmarks with humorous asides from the tour guide.

Notable moments include the guide's playful remarks about historical events and figures, enriching the tour experience with both facts and humor.

The Tower of London Visit

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the Tower of London:

• Tour Guide (07:00): "Lady Jane Gray saw her husband's headless body brought in from tower hill."
• Mr. Lockhart (09:14): "Why do they call it Scotland Yard?"
• Tour Guide (09:22): Provides a humorous yet dark recount of King Henry's actions.

The tension between historical gravity and lighthearted commentary provides a balanced perspective on London's tumultuous history.

Encounter with a Local Character

The Lockharts' visit to the Lake District introduces a local character who shares a candid and somewhat cynical view of the famed poet Wordsworth:

• Local Character (11:08): "Wadsworth never did a stroke of work in his life."
• Mr. Lockhart (13:08): "Certainly I do. And he deserves it."

This interaction offers a contrasting viewpoint to the romanticized image of Wordsworth, adding depth to the narrative and reflecting on the complexities of historical figures.

Reflections and Conclusions

As the tour concludes, Mr. Lockhart expresses his appreciation for the experience:

• Mrs. Lockhart (13:26): "I think it was the most delightful experience I've ever had."
• Mr. Lockhart (13:40): "I'm dead wrong."

The episode wraps up with the narrator indicating the Lockharts' next destination:

• Narrator (14:00): "He’s dead wrong. And so we leave the Lockharts enjoying the beauty of the English Lake District and the charm of London. Next week we shall find them again, crossing the English Channel and arriving in Paris, where they continue their experiences abroad."

Notable Quotes

• Mrs. Lockhart (00:33): "Once again, we are abroad with the Lockharts, who are taking a trip through Europe."
• Tour Guide (05:09): "He’s the only king in history to have lost his head twice because of those two little words."
• Local Character (11:24): "They'd go on down there to that bit of a rock be the lake that you call Wadsworth sea."

Conclusion

This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio masterfully blends humor, historical anecdotes, and character-driven storytelling to bring the Lockharts' London sightseeing adventure to life. Through their interactions with the tour guide and a local character, listeners gain both entertainment and insights into London's rich heritage. As always, Harold's Old Time Radio delivers a nostalgic and engaging listening experience that captures the essence of the Golden Age of Radio.

Transcript

[Sasha]

Sasha hated sand, the way it stuck to things for weeks. So when Maddie shared a surf trip on Expedia Trip Planner, he hesitated. Then he added a hotel with a cliffside pool to the plan, and they both spent the week in the water. You were made to follow your whims. We were made to help find a place on the beach with a pool and a waterfall and a soaking tub and, of course, a great shower. Expedia made to travel.

[Narrator]

Once again, we are abroad with the Lockharts, who are taking a trip through Europe. That is, Mrs. Lockhart is taking Mr. Lockhart.

[Tour Guide]

Here.

[Narrator]

We find this typical Mr. And Mrs. Enjoying the sights of London and of rural England. As you probably know, Mr. Lockhart represents the average businessman. Blunt, comfortable, knows his own mind, enjoys his business and his home community, and would much rather have gone fishing. Mrs. Lockhart is the pleasant type, a good housekeeper, belongs to the woman's club and the literary club of her town and still retains the spirit of romance. We listen in to them as they are about to take a sightseeing trip around London.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Here we are, dear. This is the sightseeing bus.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Lord, I'll feel foolish sitting up there.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

No, you won't. Everybody else does it. Now, let's sit in the middle of the bus.

[Mr. Lockhart]

No, let's sit up there near the driver.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Oh, I think it's nicer back here.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, I want to be near the guide so I can ask him questions.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

But, dear, they don't want to be pestered with questions when they're explaining things.

[Tour Guide]

Now, my dear, you brought me over.

[Mr. Lockhart]

On this trip to find out things, and I'm going to find them out.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

All right, dear, have it your own way. But do be tactful.

[Mr. Lockhart]

I'm always tactful.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Look, they're getting ready to start. There's our guide. He looks a nice person.

[Tour Guide]

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. We've a nice morning for our drive around the historical parts of the great city of London, the crossroads of the Empire.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Excuse me, guide.

[Tour Guide]

Yes, sir?

[Mr. Lockhart]

What are we going to see this morning?

[Tour Guide]

If I told you that now, sir, you wouldn't have any nice surprises left. All in good time. All right, Harry, let's get started. Now then, ladies and gentlemen, kindly give me your attention, please. We shall start the drive right here at Marble Arch. If you'll kindly look on your left, you will see the arch, and you will notice it is made of marble. And that is how it gets its name, Marble Arch. We are now passing down Park Lane. There's the park over on your right. And here's the lane and thus we get Park Lane.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Can you understand him, dear?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Pretty well.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well I can.

[Tour Guide]

In the park every fellow, the British workingman is allowed free speech when he can order down with the Government. Down with the outer Lord Guy.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Doesn't the government stop them from hollering down with the government?

[Tour Guide]

Oh no, sir, they couldn't do that. There'd be a revolution. But as long as they let him talk about it, the British workingman is quite happy, sir.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, why don't we stop here?

[Tour Guide]

Oh, there's too much to see, sir. Now then ladies and gentlemen, we are in Piccadilly. On your left are some of London's exclusive hotels. On Your right is St. James street and at the bottom is St. James, parish residence of the Prince of Wales. You ought to pay a visit there before you leave London.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well now dear, these are the places we want to stop and see.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

I know dear, but maybe they don't go there on this trip.

[Tour Guide]

And here's the famous Leicester Square, the Times Square of London, great theatrical and amusement centre. Particularly, if I may say so, after 11 o' clock at night, guide.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Why after 11 o' clock at night?

[Tour Guide]

I'll tell you that on the qt, sir. Now then, ladies and gentlemen, we are approaching Trafalgar Square, one of the finest open spaces in Europe. On the top of the monument in the centre stands Lord Nelson, who said, england expects that every man this day will do his duty. And that's why I'm here this morning.

[Mr. Lockhart]

And what did Nelson do?

[Tour Guide]

He's chiefly noted, sir, for winning the Battle of Trafalgar Bay, losing an eye and keeping Lady Hamilton happy. We are now proceeding down Whitehall. In the far distance is Buckingham Palace. On your right is the Admiralty Arch and on your left is the famous Scotland Yard you've all read about.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Where's the Yard? I don't see any Yard, dear.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Don't ask so many questions.

[Tour Guide]

Why they put a building up on it. Now, sir, it used to be right there where I'm pointing. And many's the time I've seen Mr. Sherlock Holmes walk across that very yard.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

But wasn't he a fictitious character?

[Tour Guide]

He might have been to you, Mum, but he was very real to me.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Why do they call it Scotland Yard?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Oh, don't ask so many questions, Will.

[Tour Guide]

Now then, ladies and gentlemen, next on your left is the Banqueting hall of Whitehall. Tannis, you see the little window up there in the center? Which one?

[Mr. Lockhart]

There's about a hundred of them up there.

[Tour Guide]

The little one, sir, that's Where King Charles. I lost his head.

[Mr. Lockhart]

What for?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Don't ask so many questions, Will.

[Tour Guide]

For not giving a right answer, sir. He said no when he should have said yes. And if I may say so, he's the only king in history to have lost his head twice because of those two little words.

[Mr. Lockhart]

How was that?

[Tour Guide]

Why, sir, he lost his head the first time when he said you yes to Nell Green. And he lost it the second time when he said no to Cromwell.

[Mr. Lockhart]

You have a sense of humor, haven't you?

[Tour Guide]

Well, sir, I. I do like my little joke, if I do say so. There's not much pleasure in taking tourists around every day, you know. It's in one ear and out the other. Now then, ladies and gentlemen, on your right is the Horse Guard. You can see the horses and the guards are sitting on top of them. And thus we have the Horse Guard.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Now, don't they look a picture, Will?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, the horses.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

No, silly, the guards.

[Tour Guide]

We are now passing Downing street. And at number 10 is the residence of the Prime Minister of England.

[Mr. Lockhart]

I've got to see that now. Now, where is that guide?

[Tour Guide]

I'm sorry, sir. We've just passed it. And now, ladies and gentlemen, you have your first glimpse of the House of Lords, commonly called the old lady's home.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Do we go inside there?

[Tour Guide]

No, sir. No, sir. You can only obtain entrance by permission. Principally, I think, because it interferes with their sleep. Now then, ladies and gentlemen, over on your right is a statue of Abraham Lincoln contemplating Westminster Abbey. And if I may say so, the greatest man of America and the greatest building in England.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, well, now, there's old Abe himself, right here in the heart of London.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Now, isn't that fine of them?

[Mr. Lockhart]

It certainly is. But this day, this fellow, this guide, talks so fast I can't understand a word he says.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

And you said, slow, old England, Will.

[Tour Guide]

Now then, ladies and gentlemen, we are now proceeding along the embankment with the River Thames on your right. Representing, if I may say so, the liquid history of England. And finally, we will arrive at the Tower of London, which we shall visit.

[Mr. Lockhart]

What did he call the River Thames?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

The liquid history of England. Rather pretty, isn't it, dear?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Sounds to me like a slogan for Scotch whiskey.

[Tour Guide]

Oh, Will. Now, ladies and gentlemen, here we are at the Tower of London, representing the good old days of merry English and bluff King Harold. The man, if I may say so, who made divorce fashionable. Follow me, please, and keep close together. Oh, you see that man over there in the uniform? He's one of the guards of the Tower. They call him the Beefeaters that chap, I know him, though. He's a vegetarian. We are now standing on Tower hill From the year 1388. 17 executions were performed on the very spot you're standing on, madam.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Oh, mercy.

[Tour Guide]

Follow me, please. Ahead of us now is the tower moat. You see the square window up there? Well, from that window, ladies and gentlemen, Lady Jane gray saw her husband's headless body brought in from tower hill.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Good gracious.

[Mr. Lockhart]

My lord.

[Tour Guide]

Ah, those were the good old days of England. Merry England. Not off this way, please.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Good things they did in those days.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Will, I'll never again say these people are strange. This bird has me gasping for breath already.

[Tour Guide]

Here we are. Please. Now keep close together. The spot you are now standing on, ladies and gentlemen, is called tower green. Very much visited nowadays and very much avoided. If I may say so, in those good old days I've just mentioned this was Emily viii's favorite parting place.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Now, that's better. That's more interesting and pleasant.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Who did he part from here, miss? The guide.

[Tour Guide]

Why, sir, this is where he said goodbye to his second wife, queen Anne Boleyn, and his fifth wife, queen Catherine Howard.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

How do you mean he said goodbye?

[Tour Guide]

Why, madam, old Henry cut off man bowling's head here in May 1315 36. Heaven and Catherine Hour. Dead six years later in 1542.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Oh, dear.

[Tour Guide]

Now, ladies and gentlemen, would anyone like to visit the bloody town?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Oh, no, gracious, no.

[Mr. Lockhart]

No. I guess we've had enough.

[Tour Guide]

Just as you like, sir. Then we'll return to the motor and go back to the hotel.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Well, dear, I'm glad of one thing.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Watch that that.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

We're going to the lovely lake district tomorrow to see where Wordsworth lived.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Wordsworth? Who was he?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Why, the poet, dear. You remember, I read one of his poems at the women's club back home.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Oh, well. Do you know what would please me more than anything right now?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

What, dear?

[Mr. Lockhart]

To be able to step into a child's restaurant and order up a good cup of coffee.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Now, we've been all Wordsworth's cottage where he wrote his beautiful poems. Wasn't it delightful, dear? And so quaint?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Yes, but I don't see how they. They ever lived in those tiny cottages.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Look, dear, there's an old character. He must be the man who owns the blacksmith shop. Look, he's coming towards us.

[Local Character]

Good day to you.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Good day to you.

[Tour Guide]

A fine day it is for seeing the cottage yonder.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Yes, it's a nice day.

[Tour Guide]

Ah, but fine or wet, there'll be.

[Local Character]

Always folk a coming to visit the cottage. Now, do you mind telling me what it is you think you were going to see in there?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Well, it's Wordsworth's cottage. And he was a very famous man.

[Local Character]

Famous, you call it?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Yes, and a poet. And we came to see the place where he lived and worked.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Worked?

[Local Character]

Work you call it. Ay, that's what you all think. But I'll tell you different.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Owl.

[Local Character]

Wadsworth, that's what we called him. He never did a stroke of work in his life.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Oh, well, I don't see how you could say that.

[Local Character]

Well, ma' am, I'll tell you. And it's a very disappointing tale too.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Will. Will, come here. Don't always.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Yes.

[Local Character]

You're your husband will like to listen. Me father knew old Wadsworth. Me grandfather knew him. And a quarrel was silent, unfriendly. What he meant he was that he never bid the time of day to anyone. He'd go on down there to that bit of a rock be the lake that you call Wadsworth sea. And he'd sit there all day and do nothing. Nothing, mind you, but look at the water in the mountains. We thought he was d. Yes, I suppose you would. Now you can call that work if he the mind do. But I'm telling you, Owld. Wadsworth never did a stroke o work in his life. And then he ups and he dies. And all the people say what a fine man he was. Till me father was nearly fit to bile. And now they charge a shilling to see where he lives. And yet here was my grandfeyther and then my feyther. And now me working here by the sweat of her brow and the toil of our hands from sunrise to sunset. And what do we get out of it? Nothing, young lady. And I tell you, with no shillings coming our way and very few horses, life is very disappointing.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Well now, that's a very interesting story, dear. You see what he's after?

[Mr. Lockhart]

Certainly I do. And he deserves it. Here, my friend, have a glass of beer on me.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

And me too.

[Local Character]

Ah, that. That's very kind of you. And I'll drink your health tonight. I will. And thank you again.

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Goodbye.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Goodbye.

[Local Character]

Good day to you. And God bless you both.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Well, my dear, what do you think of that for technique?

[Mrs. Lockhart]

Why, I think it was the most delightful experience I've ever had.

[Mr. Lockhart]

Say, did. Did I say the English were slow?

[Tour Guide]

You did.

[Mr. Lockhart]

I'm dead wrong.

[Narrator]

He's dead wrong. And so we leave the Lockharts enjoying the beauty of the English Lake District and the charm of London. Next week we shall find them again, crossing the English Channel and arriving in Paris, where they continue their experiences abroad.

[Mr. Lockhart]

It.