AFRS Elgin 4th Annual Christmas Show 1945-12-25

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: AFRS Elgin 4th Annual Christmas Show (December 25, 1945)
Host: Don Ameche
Release Date: December 16, 2025

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Overview

This episode presents a full recreation of the Elgin Watch Company's legendary 4th Annual Christmas Show from Christmas Day, 1945—a star-studded, two-hour celebration broadcast worldwide near the end of World War II. Set in a jubilant, post-war America, the show blends music, comedy sketches, heartfelt tributes, and messages of hope and brotherhood, all delivered by some of radio’s biggest Golden Age stars, including Jack Benny, Bob Crosby, Red Skelton, Ginny Sims, General Omar Bradley, and more.

The program highlights the relief and hope of the first peacetime Christmas after years of global conflict, celebrates the return of American servicemen, and champions the promise of a brighter, unified future.

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. Program Opening: Setting the Scene

• [00:41-02:10]
  Don Ameche welcomes listeners to an “evening of star-studded entertainment” featuring “two hours of Elgin’s Christmas Day greeting to America.”
• Ken Carpenter’s remarks set a deeply emotional tone, marking this Christmas as a uniquely joyous one following victory in World War II.
  • “Perhaps the most joyous Christmas since the birthday it commemorates.” (Ken Carpenter, 01:31)

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2. Musical Performances & Festive Cheer

• Alan Jones performs “It’s a Grand Night for Singing”
  [02:10-04:23]
  Kicks off musical festivities with a classic, lush, feel-good performance.
• Bob Crosby & The Bobcats perform throughout
  Up-tempo tunes like "All By Myself" and playful duets heighten the holiday mood. (Notably: [28:30], [110:59])
• Ginny Sims sings “Slowly” and “Waiting for the Train to Come In”
  [46:11-48:52], [87:51-89:43]
  Soothing, sentimental ballads about love and reunion, reflecting the year’s significance.

[48:52] Don Ameche: "Oh, that was beautiful, Ginny. Just beautiful."

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3. Comedy & Celebrity Banter

Jack Benny & Bob Hope Segment

• [05:01-19:06]
  Classic wisecracks, holiday ribbing, and gentle self-parody. They trade barbs about Christmas presents, sponsors, and California weather, ultimately riffing on the post-war housing crisis and their own careers.

[05:01] Jack Benny: "This is Bob, Fourth annual two-hour Elgin Christmas Day greeting to America. Hope telling you to buy your girl an Elgin. You’ll have something slick with a tick, that’ll put you in thick with your chick."

[08:20] Bob Crosby (after a running Margaret O’Brien joke): "Don’t force it."

[13:05] Ken Carpenter: "You two are beginning to sound like the Dolly Sisters."

Bob Crosby’s Return & Bing Jokes

• Jokes about Bob Crosby's relationship to Bing Crosby and their showbiz rivalry land throughout:
  • [14:26] Bob Crosby announces his own upcoming show.
  • [15:06] “Hope and Crosby” vs. “Crosby and Hope” banter.

“Sorry, Wrong Number”—Benny Spoof

• [75:24-86:02]
  Jack Benny parodies Agnes Moorehead’s famed “Suspense” radio drama with his own neurotic phone call attempts, becoming increasingly frantic as he tries to reach his sponsor before his option expires.

[77:30] Jack Benny: “Look, I’ve tried direct, indirect and spelled backwards… this is driving me mad.”

Red Skelton’s “Junior on Christmas” Sketch

• [114:31-123:04]
  Skelton as “Junior the Mean Widdle Kid” causes chaos at Christmas, tormenting his grandmother and destroying gifts. Light, slapstick hijinks—typical of Skelton’s family-friendly comedic style.

[117:46] Bob Crosby (as Junior): “I got a banana in me mouth sideways.”

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4. Veteran’s Message & Postwar Reflections

General Omar N. Bradley’s Address

• [42:30-45:30]
  Heartfelt, practical, and deeply patriotic, Bradley thanks veterans, outlines the importance of the GI Bill, and emphasizes shared national responsibility in peacetime.

"These benefits are not gifts. Veterans are not asking for handouts... For these returning servicemen hold in their hands a large share of America's greatness and progress." (General Bradley, 44:15)

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5. Impressions and Variety Sketches

Larry Storch’s Celebrity Impersonations

• [31:43-37:01]
  Larry Storch, recently discharged from the service, impresses with spot-on impressions of Cary Grant, Peter Lorre, Humphrey Bogart, Clark Gable, and Ronald Coleman.

[37:01] Bob Crosby (as Storch as Coleman): "If I were king... you should have the sun and moon to wear, if I were king!"

Alan Reed's Poetry Segment ("Falstaff Openshaw of Allen’s Alley")

• [90:57-96:22]
  Reed delivers silly doggerel and touching verse reflecting on peace.

[95:43] Bob Crosby: "A harvest of honest intentions from the planting of brotherhood's seed..."

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6. Dramatic Interlude: “Dawn at Midnight”

• [56:38-67:38]
  A touching, original radio play about a war veteran with a new lease on life, babysitting for a widow on Christmas Eve. Delicate exploration of loss, hope, and the power of faith to “see” a brighter future.

[67:13] Ken Carpenter: “If you’ve got something precious and you share, it becomes more precious still. And the oftener you divide it, the bigger it gets.”

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7. Holiday Messages & Reflection

• Throughout, Don Ameche, Ken Carpenter, and guests reinforce the solemn significance of this Christmas, the sacrifices of the war, and the call for peace and brotherhood.

[70:50] "We are enjoying the greatest gift of all, the gift of peace which, with God's help and the sacrifices of the valiant peoples of the United Nations, have given us."

[124:29] Ken Carpenter shares Stephen Vincent Benet's prayer for peace and brotherhood:
"A brotherhood not of words, but of acts and deeds... an equal chance to do his best, not only in our own lands, but throughout the world…"

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• [01:31] Ken Carpenter: “Perhaps the most joyous Christmas since the birthday it commemorates.”
• [05:01] Jack Benny: “Hope telling you to buy your girl an Elgin. You’ll have something slick with a tick, that’ll put you in thick with your chick.”
• [15:06] Bob Crosby: "From where I'm standing, it reads 'Crosby and Hope.'"
• [44:15] Gen. Omar Bradley: “Veterans are not asking for handouts. No, the GI bill and other legislation reflects America’s conviction that it is to the nation’s own interest for veterans to get back into normal civilian life as soon as possible.”
• [67:13] Ken Carpenter (as Jim Drake): “If you’ve got something precious and you share, it becomes more precious still. And the oftener you divide it, the bigger it gets.”
• [95:43] Bob Crosby (as Alan Reed): “A harvest of honest intentions from the planting of brotherhood’s seed...”
• [124:29] Ken Carpenter: “God of the Free. We pledge our hearts and lives today to the cause of all free mankind…”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:41] Elgin’s opening introduction and cast
• [05:01] Jack Benny & Bob Hope Christmas banter
• [13:42] Banter about Bing Crosby and starting new shows
• [19:34] Musical numbers: “It Might As Well Be Spring”
• [31:43] Larry Storch’s impressions
• [42:30] Gen. Omar Bradley’s message
• [46:11] Ginny Sims performs “Slowly”
• [56:38] “Dawn at Midnight” dramatic play
• [75:24] Jack Benny’s “Sorry, Wrong Number” spoof
• [87:51] Ginny Sims sings “Waiting for the Train to Come In”
• [90:57] Alan Reed’s poetry and message of peace
• [97:31] Red Skelton as “Junior”
• [106:57] Closing prayer and final reflection on brotherhood

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Tone & Language

The show is buoyant, breezy, and sincerely sentimental—true to the spirit of 1940s radio variety. While comedy and music abound, producer and performers never lose sight of the profound transitions facing postwar America. The language mingles timeless Americana with punchlines, warm encouragement, and stirring, direct appeals to unity and peace.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you didn’t catch this episode, you missed a sweeping, historic variety program packed with humor, music, star turns, and heartfelt reflection. The Elgin Christmas Show of 1945 captures not just a holiday but a pivotal cultural moment: America’s first Christmas at peace after years of global struggle, celebrated with laughter, song, and a powerful message—cherish the present, honor the fallen, and strive for brotherhood and lasting peace.

For fans of vintage radio, historical Americana, or anyone interested in the sound and spirit of a nation emerging from war, this show is a time capsule of joyous relief, big-hearted entertainment, and the enduring hope of Christmas.

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Transcript

[Don Ameche]

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Feel the difference of quality made to last clothes from American Giant Get 20% off your first order with code [e-mail] that's 20% off your first order at american-giant.com with code STAPLE20. The Algen Watch Company, makers of fine American watches for 80 years, presents its fourth annual Christmas Day greeting to America. Two hours of star studded entertainment broadcast throughout the United States, short way to Latin America and beamed to the peoples of the United nations around the world. In the next two hours, Elgin brings you Bob Hope, Jenny Sims, Jack Benny, Bob Crosby and his Bobcats, Red Skelton, Vera Vague, Alan Jones, the celebrated pianist, Artur Rubinstein, Ella Logan, Alan Reed, General Omar N. Bradley, the Charioteers, Larry Storch, the Elgin Orchestra and chorus under the direction of Louis Silvers and your host for the full two hours, Don Amic. Merry Christmas. Ladies and gentlemen. The very best wishes of the holiday season to all of you. From every one of the stars, Ken Carpenter just listed from the Elgin Watch Company and from myself, we invite you to share your joy with ours on this Christmas Day 1945, perhaps the most joyous Christmas since the birthday it commemorates. Throughout four years of war we've kept faith and been rewarded at last with victory. Now we're determined that this hard won piece must be universal and everlasting. And in that joyous spirit, Elgin greets you with an appropriate song from Alan Jones. It's a grand night for sing. The moon is flying high and somewhere a bird whis bound to be heard Is roaring his crown to the sky. It's a grand night for singing stars of rise above the earth is a glow and wet with the show I think that I'm falling in love Falling, falling in love maybe it's more than the moon maybe it's More than the bird maybe it's more than the sight of a night in a The light will love me for words maybe it's more than the earth Shiny and silvery blue maybe the reason I'm feeling this way has something to do with you It's a grand night for singing the moon is flying high and somewhere a bird who is bound to be heard Is throwing his heart to the sky It's a grand light for singing the stars are bright and fall the earth is a too low and coast of the soul I think that I Am falling in love. I think that I. That is wonderful, Alan. Wonderful. So we'll have you back for an encore later. Meanwhile, Elgin marks time with one of the world's best loved entertainers. A man who has been playing theaters of war and service camps and hospitals for the past four years, keeping our boys well supplied with corn and ham. The man who set out to follow his nose and has been traveling in circles ever since, Bob Hope. Thank you, peasants. How do you do, ladies and gentlemen? This is Bob 4th Annual 2R Elgin. Christmas Day greeting to America. Hope telling you to buy your girl in Elgin. You'll have something slick with a tick that'll put you in thick with your chick. Take your time. We have two hours. It's all. Well, here we are. Christmas Day. Christmas Day. That's the time you pass out the presents that help you pass out New Year's Eve. Back East. It's snowing all over in California. It snows too. Only out here they juice it. I've been getting a lot of fun out of the stories about the cold Christmas they're having back east. In fact, when I got the paper this morning and read about the blizzard, I laughed so hard my front porch slipped its anchor. How are you, swimmers? But everybody is so much happier this Christmas. The war is over, the boys are back home and Dick Tracy finally captured Itchy. He did, didn't he? Forgot to look. Well, I. And I opened my Christmas presents this morning. I had a wonderful Christmas. I came out $5 ahead. Of course, it really means nothing to me if I spend more than I get it. I. I got a presents for my fans this year. I won't say any of them would go so far as to mail me a snake. But it's the first time I ever rattled a package and had it rattle back at me. I am men. Hi. Where are we here? Rattle. Oh, yeah, rattle back. I. I got a beautiful fountain pen from Betty Grable. I know it was from Betty Grable. The ink was still boiling. And Crosby told me he was going to give me something for around the house. He gave me something for around the house. How can you get rid of two dozen mice? Old cheese salesman. Someone. Someone gave me a wonderful automatic shaver. It's a new type. You smear your beard with cheese, press a button on the case and a mouse sticks his head out and nibbles your five o' clock shadow back to 2pm That's a nice Lux, Joe. Just that joke, huh? My sponsor gave me a box of cigars for Christmas. They aren't the kind that explode in your face. These. You take three puffs and they sneak around and kick you in the back. And the housing shortage is still as bad as ever out here. I hung up my stocking last night. When I woke up this morning, I found a family from Oklahoma living in it. You sound like a motel crowd. I held open house all day yesterday for the movie crowd. Just the grownups, of course. Last year I invited the kids to. And Margaret o' Brien walked right into the turnstile. That's a joke, folks. Don't pass it out. Last year I invited the kids to. And Margaret o' Brien walked right under the turnstile. There must be humor there. Don't force it.

[Ken Carpenter]

It's all right.

[Don Ameche]

Take your time. Two hours. But seriously, I really had a big mob at my house. People were going through the front hall so fast I shook hands with a bear skin rug. 3. Margaret O' Brien walked right into the turn. I'll be studying that all week. It'll never happen to me again. Margaret o' Brien walked right on the turnstile. But it was very confusing to be giving a party. In fact, I had my pocket full of silverware before I recognized my own initials on it. And Margaret o' Brien walked right into the door. Trees. Christmas trees were so expensive I couldn't get a real pine this year. I just poured starch over skinny Ennis and turned a green spotlight on him. I found that joke in my stocking. It happens again. I'll change laundries. And W.C. fields dropped in. He didn't intend to drop in. It's just that he. Hey, Mrs. Sarah. Look, I'm standing out front of AM PM right now and, well, you're sweet and all, but I found something more fulfilling. Even kind of cheesy.

[Ken Carpenter]

But I like it.

[Don Ameche]

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[Ken Carpenter]

That's it.

[Don Ameche]

Margaret o' Brien But I had a wonderful oh yes, I served Tom and Jerry's and I'm just wondering if I made a little strong. When I left the house, Tom was carrying Jerry up the stairs. Did that egg come out of my nog? But I had a wonderful ladle to stir the punch with and I'm glad Sinatra could make it. Ladder Turner and Hedy Lamar came over and the turkey for me. I thought it would be quicker than using the oven.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, Don.

[Don Ameche]

Don to meet you. Where are you, my man? Right here, Robert. How are you, Donald? The folks are really with it today, aren't they? I love them. I love these people. Bob. How does Santa. I love all my people. What you say? I said, how does Santa treat you? Look under your Christmas tree this morning and find a big fat baggage. No, Crosby slept at home last night. Now, you and Bing don't mean all that of those things you say about each other, do you, Bob? No, Don, I get along okay with one man's family. Why, I think. I. I think Bing is one of our greatest actors. And he sent me some life boy for Christmas, too. You know, Bob, I've noticed that in those road pictures you make, Bing always winds up with a girl's arms around him. Well, somebody's got to hold the old man up. I heard that whole. That's a fine thing to say about Bing. Well, Bob Crosby. Well, Bob Crosby, I know your father well. Now, wait a minute, Hope. Do you know that I'm Bing's brother? Don't tell me Bing's still spreading that propaganda. But you're looking great, Bob. You're looking great, Bob. Oh, thank you, Bob. It's nothing, Bob. Quite an echo around here. Quiet, Cross. Do you mind if I call you Robert? Not at all, Robert. Hey, you two are beginning to sound. You two are beginning to sound like the Dally sisters. You really think I look like Betty Graybull, do you? I don't know, but with that horn of yours, you could pass for Harry James. I knew I should have brought my DDT spray along. Look, let's talk about Bob Crosby. Just out of the Marine. When you were out in the South Pacific, Bob, did you catch any of the Hope shows put on out there? No, I guess I was lucky. Where were you? In the back lines. Where were you, boy? Well, at any rate, travel seems to have agreed with you, Bob. Yeah. How about the suntan, huh? Is that genuine suntan, or are you wearing your leg makeup a little high? This? No, it's genuine, all right. I was reading Forever Amber and I got too close. I don't think there's anyone as close as you are. You got those Bobby Breen ad libs again, Using that pencil with a dull point again. But Landon here. My chubby Andy Russell. Why not? Why don't you come on my show, Robert? I need a good, straight man. Well, haven't you heard? Bob Crosby's gonna have his own show starting the first of the year. No kidding. Yeah, I'm gonna sell Fords. Oh, that's a tough job, selling Fords. That's like selling locks of Van Johnson's hair to the Bobby Soccers. Well, listen, why don't you buy a new car? It's about time you traded in that 1916 Stevens. Duryea, you drive. Yes, it is a little confusing with a driver's seat that high up. I never know whether the traffic light just turned red or I've got a nosebleed. But getting back to my offer, Junior, I like your style. Maybe we could team up together, huh? What happened? Clona give you the brush? No, that went back to Fuller. No, but I. I think we do. Well, I can see our name in lights now. Hope and Crosby. Hey, wait a minute. From where I'm standing, it reads Crosby and Hope. There you go reading backwards again. That's what you get. That's what you get for rinsing your eyes out with Sarah Tan. Dave, before we carry thing too far, Bob, I want to know one thing. If we team up, which one of us is going to tell the jokes? I like this boy. He's silly. He's a silly one, that one. There. Well, one thing's certain. If you two boys are going to be on the same show, we all know who's going to handle the singing. Yes, I think I'm well qualified. You? What songs do you know? Oh, I can sing any song ever written to the tune of thanks for the Memory. I suppose all I do is lead the. I don't know. What are your qualifications? Where did you learn about music? Why, Bing taught me everything he knows. From the father of two girls? That's a pretty silly statement. Say, by the way, Robin, don't you and Bing play golf anymore? No. The committee at Lakeside asked me not to steal money from the older men. Bob, you could please wait for my yaks, if you don't mind. You don't get all year, Bob. You couldn't beat bing on his 60th birthday. Well, that's not my fault. I wasn't born then. Say, who was his golf pro? The Azusa Excavating Company. You mean he digs up big divots? Big divots. Listen, Bob, before he took up golf, there was no Catalina Island. But that's not the bad part. He has three caddies. One to carry his bags and one to blow his nose while I'm making a shot. What about the third one? He carries the Kleenex. You've got to admit that the kids are pretty fair. When he's out on that fairway, he's always gunning for eagles. Naturally, so nearsighted, he keeps mistaking him for storks. Now, wait a minute. Stick to the subject, Bob. Why? You told me yourself, the last time you played with him, he got five birdies. That's right, he did. And he would have gotten birdies on the other four holes, too. Well, why didn't he? My lips got tired. Kev's in there fighting today. I love you. You got a lot of down one, Wilson. What's that? I say Bing wouldn't do that to you. Nobody has a cute little habit of snapping his girdle when I'm driving. Oh, Colona's mustache to you.

[Ken Carpenter]

Yeah.

[Don Ameche]

Got some snappy stuff today. Where are we? I came here to sing. Well, I came here to tell jokes, but go ahead and sing now. Here it is. I'm as restless as a willow in a windstorm. I'm as jumpy as a puppet on a string. Why don't you rent yourself out as a. Yo, yo, that's my part. Wait, wait, wait.

[Ken Carpenter]

Last minute.

[Don Ameche]

Wait a minute. Wait till I finish for the talking, brother. Watch it. I'll give you the cue. We got a union too, you know. Okay. Besides, I got a Christmas card from Petrilla. I'd say that I had spring fever but I know it isn't spring. I never know when it's spring. Eat spring. No, I'll come back. But I know it isn't spring.

[Ken Carpenter]

I didn't get the rehearsal.

[Don Ameche]

I'm sorry.

[Ken Carpenter]

Go ahead.

[Don Ameche]

But I know it is in spring. I never know when it's spring either. I'm strictly a fall guy. No. And I don't need that. It's the first time. It's humiliating. The first time I ever work between bars I want to. I am sorry. I'm vaguely discontented. Like a nightingale without a song to sing. You've got the song, what you need is a voice squashy insult. I think that I had spring fever. But I know it isn't spring. I keep wishing I were somewhere else Walking down a strange new street. If you're the purchasing manager at a manufacturing plant, you know having a trusted.

[Ken Carpenter]

Partner makes all the difference.

[Don Ameche]

That's why hands down, you count on Grainger for auto reordering. With on time restocks, your team will have the cut resistant gloves they need at the start of their shift and you can end your day knowing they've got safety well in hand. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. There's nothing like my American Express Platinum card. I love that I can earn hotel credits when I travel. I can also earn resi credits so you know I'm hitting the restaurants everyone's talking about. Plus with the digital entertainment credit, I need to even more excited to catch my favorite shows. All in all, I can access over 3, $500 in annual value with benefits and eligible purchases across travel, entertainment and more. Learn more at americanexpress.com/explatin-platin enrollment requirements monthly and other limits and terms apply. Hearing words that I have never heard from a girl I've yet to meet. Say Bob, how'd you like to meet a gorgeous 18 year old blonde with pearly white teeth and a million bucks in her own name. I'd like to. So would I. I'm as busy as a spider spinning day. I'm as kitty as a baby on a swing. That's great enough. Ah, babies are so cute. I'll never forget when I was the baby, they used to keep me on a high chair 6ft high so they could hear me bounce when I fell on my head. And I'm all Right now I have and seen a crocus or a rosebud or a robin on the wing. Speaking of robin, are we getting paid for this? I have more relatives than that. But I feel so gay in a melancholy way that it might as well be spring if my hide as well be spring. Ah, spring in California is wonderful. Where else can you lie out in the sun all day and get a beautiful tan while you're waiting for the coast guard to come and take you off your roof?

[Ken Carpenter]

Say.

[Don Ameche]

All right, Robert, hold up. This is ridiculous. I think we could settle this on the golf course. You know, I bat a golf ball pretty well myself when the wind's blowing. Right. I managed to squeeze into high 80s. High 80s. This boy's right. Tell me, are you in the habit of looking over a man's shoulder while he marks the scorecard? But of course, the deal's off. I don't play with cheaters. Takes one to know one. So you won't play? I got a line about Margaret o' Brien under the turnstile. You can have that. Let's put it this way. If your golf game is as good as your big brother's and you get just as much distance from your swing. Ha. As long as I'm taken to the cleaners, it might as well be Bing. The way you river guy is quite unnerving. Your innuendos carry quite a sting. Yeah, someone's got to stay and take the insult. It might as well. I keep wishing I were somewhere else. A most fruitless time I've never spent Words like that will make my very sponsor cheer. You've just set up a rhyme for Pepsi dance. Hallelujah, brother, you tell the truth. Take that.

[Ken Carpenter]

I like the next line.

[Don Ameche]

Take that. To tell the truth, you are my favorite comic. Not allowed now. And when it comes to groaning things, the king. I'd like to see the guy who can sing better. Let Sinatra have his fling. If we can't win, just follow me, brother. We can replace you. You know, kid, a lot of boys are coming back. If we can't win an Oscar, then it might as well be Bing. It might as well be Bing. Is that the audience?

[Ken Carpenter]

Thank you. What happens? How about that? How about that singing?

[Don Ameche]

Ken, from now on, I'm singing in all of Crosby's pictures. You know, I guess I have been a little rough on old man Cross today. But just to show him my heart's in the right place, I'm going right out and buy him a Christmas present. If I can get a tube of that everloving stuff at the drugstore. Well, Bob, if you're serious about getting Bing a Christmas present, I'd like to make a suggestion. Well, look at old Ken Carpenter. What are you selling? I'm here on behalf of the Elgin Wattsco Company. We'll wrap one up and send it out to Crosby. I can't think of a better gift for old Father Time. Oh, Bob, it's wonderful of you to do this. I'll have Bing's Elgin delivered right away. Cod call him dad. Well, wearing knickers in those days, no one would mind footing the bill for a beautiful star timed Elgin. Yes, American made Elgins are real values. Distinctly styled and reasonably priced. True. How true? Yes, it's true. Elgins have been scarce because skilled Elgin craftsmen have been busy turning out precision instruments and timing devices for our armed forces. Help them aim those guns. But now Elgin is concentrating on the production of watches. And there can be more proud Elgin owners. So commemorate important dates with a lovely star timed Elgin. Give one for anniversaries, graduations, birthdays. And this year, be sure to commemorate the Crosby centennial. If you can't find the model you want, be patient. Your jeweler will soon have more of these superb timepieces. And you'll be glad you waited for an Elgin. I'll wait a lifetime if I must. Well, while you're waiting, Bob, how's for sticking around for some more music? So nice of you to ask me, Don. I'm ready. Say, where in the world do those notes come from? Hope I'm wearing John Charles Thomas chest protector. Well, I'll have you know that I'm supposed to sing right about here. Shall I join you? The title of the song the Bobcats and myself are going to do is All By Myself. All by yourself. Well, that's how you wind up when you finish a song. All right, Perry Como fans, follow me. Samorning all by myself in the night I sit alone in a cozy morator so unhappy there playing solitaire all by myself I get lonely watching that club on the shelf I'd like to rest my head on somebody's shoulder I'd hate to grow older all by myself.

[Ken Carpenter]

Sam.

[Don Ameche]

All by myself I get lonely watching that cloth on the shelf I'd like to rest my head on somebody's shoulder I'd hate to roll all by myself. What do you think makes the perfect snack? Hmm. It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[Ken Carpenter]

Could you be more specific? When it's cravinient.

[Don Ameche]

Okay, Like A freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at amp. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can.

[Ken Carpenter]

Grab in just a second at a.m. p.m.

[Don Ameche]

I'm seeing a pattern here. Well, yeah, we're talking about what I crave, which is anything from am, pm. What more could you want? Stop by AMPM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience ampm. Too much good stuff. Hey, I'm Dr. Z and I'm a neurosurgeon. So that means long hours, early rounds, late nights, and everything in between. And through it all, well, I wear figs because they're built for what I do through the chaos, through the hours, and through whatever the day throws at me. They do their job so I can do mine. They're comfortable when it counts and functional when I need them the most. So where do you wear your figs? On shift, on call? On the couch in the break room, listening to this podcast. Wherever it is, they fit right in. And now listeners of this podcast can get 15 off their first order. Just head to WearFigs.com and use code FIGSRX at checkout. That's WhereFigs.com code FIGSRX. Christmas has always been a time of fairy stories, but we have one this Christmas that rivals the most fantastic of them all. It happened to a young fellow who just returned from three years active duty in the South Pacific, and his name is Larry Storch. Merry Christmas, Mr. Amici. It is a merry Christmas for you, isn't it, Larry? The best one anybody ever had. Just two weeks ago, I folded up my discharge papers and started hitchhiking across the country and wound up on the radio in Hollywood. You must have had a good thumb. And good luck, too. Well, by now nearly everyone in Hollywood is talking about your marvelous impressions of famous people. Larry, tell me, how did you ever get started doing impersonations? I always liked movies, and whenever they showed one on the show, I'd be right in the front row. And I was so interested in everybody, I just picked up what I saw on the screen. Well, suppose you give us a description of some of the things you saw that impressed you. Well, a particular favorite of mine is Cary Grant. You know, he's got a little bit of cockney in his voice. And when I saw him in the picture none but the Lonely Heart, this is the way he sounded to me. Hiya, Mo, it's me, Ernie. Mops, I'm home, Mars. Can't see as I'm here for long, though. You know only Ernie Moths you do. Freeze. A breath of wind I am. I love you very, very much, Mal. You know that. You're my girl. But I can't breathe.

[Ken Carpenter]

Here, Mal.

[Don Ameche]

Oh, I'm on my way, Marl. Oh, no tears, no tears. Come on, give us a great big smile. Mind you don't catch cold, Marl. Cheerio, Ma. That was Ma. And then there's a fellow that runs the restaurant. I think you'll recognize him when you hear him. Hello, Duffy's Tavern with your late mates. Eight, aren't you to manage Talking. Oh, hello, Duffy. St. Duffy. You'll never recognize the place since I fixed it up. Try, try to visionize a spot with gorgeous drapes, dim lights, nothing but the soft glow from the pinball machines. Oh, yeah, yeah. And we got a new Swedish cook. Yeah, One of them. Smorgasbord. Oh, Duppy, listen, something terrible just happened. Yet we're ruined. It happened, Dumpy. Somebody won the kewpie doll in the punch board. I can't say nothing to him, Duppy, because he's awful treacherous. Yeah, it's Peter Laurie. I don't know why everyone says I'm treacherous and cold blooded. You only have to look at me.

[Ken Carpenter]

To see that I am very sensitive. And yet everyone misunderstands me.

[Don Ameche]

I know what they say when I walk down the street. They say, there goes Peter Laurie.

[Ken Carpenter]

That's him.

[Don Ameche]

That's the one.

[Ken Carpenter]

He set fire to his mother.

[Don Ameche]

You know, I'm really a very industrious worker. One day I did a job for some fellow. I took a man, I shot him.

[Ken Carpenter]

I stabbed him, I strangled him, I hung him. And then I beat him over the head with a crowbar.

[Don Ameche]

Unfortunately, it turned out to be the wrong fellow. But think of the experience I got. But you know I'm not responsible for.

[Ken Carpenter]

These terrible things I do.

[Don Ameche]

I have a blood brother, a partner in crime. Humphrey Bogart. That's the one. Humphrey Bogart. All right, smart guy. When it chips you down, you turn yellow and squeal. Well, isn't that splendid? Now get up against that wall before I pull your nose down and hook it under your chin. Now, just keep in mind that I'm a candidate for hanging, see? And if anyone here makes the wrong move, I'll kill the whole lot of you. Now, we'll have a couple of beers and listen to the music. And then I gotta be running along. And don't anybody try to follow me. I've always been a very tough guy, even in school, while the other kids was rubbing out the blackboard I was rubbing out the teacher. Well, so long. I got a date to throw some rocks at some small boys. But, of course, you take Clark Gable now, he's more the romantic type. And here's how he overpowers the girls. Come here, baby. Come here. Come on, sweetheart, pucker up. I've got a mess of lips waiting for you. Yes, yes, I know I'm going away, but. Well, someday I'll come back. And when I do, sweetheart, you and I are going to climb to the top of the highest mountain. And there, at the top of the world, with just you and me alone together, we're going to do what we've always wanted to do. Spit. And of all the prominent actors I've seen and heard, there's no one who recites poetry quite like Mr. Ronald Coleman. I remember once I heard him say to a very lovely lady, if I were king. Ah, love, if I were king what tributary nations would I bring to stoop before your scepter and to swear allegiance to your lips and eyes and hair beneath your feet what treasures I would sing the star should be your pearls upon a string the world a ruby for your fingering and you should have the sun and moon to wear if I were king.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, oh, Mr. Nietzsche, would you autograph your new book for me?

[Don Ameche]

Well, there must be some mistake. I haven't written a book.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, now, don't be so modest. The telephone company delivered it only yesterday.

[Don Ameche]

Look, I am not Alexander Graham Bell. But aren't you missing Duffy? Only daughter of the proprietor of Duffy's Tavern.

[Ken Carpenter]

Yeah, the same.

[Don Ameche]

Well, now, who sent you here to ask for my autograph?

[Ken Carpenter]

Archie, the manager at Papa's Place. He figured it was a good excuse to have me come in and pick up some tips on salesmanship from Ken Carpenter. Oh, please excuse me. That's no doubt for me. Hello? Hello? Oh. Oh, it's you, Archie. Oh, gee, Archie, this is certainly a swell extravaganza. Oh, yeah. They got Bob Hope, Red Skelton, Jack Benny, Don Ameche. Any tomatoes? Well, I haven't seen any, but I noticed a few eggs. Just a minute. Hold on. I'll find out. Oh, Mr. Carpenter, Archie would like to know, is this show gonna continue? If so, he'll put another quarter in the radio.

[Don Ameche]

Well, just tell Archie that the fourth annual Elgin Christmas show will continue after a brief pause for station identification.

[Ken Carpenter]

Did you hear that, Arachi? What? Oh, no, no, they're not playing records. This is the real thing. This is in the flesh. In fact, I might go so far as to say this is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.

[Don Ameche]

The Alton Watts Company's 4th Annual Two Hour Christmas Day greeting to America. Continue with the season's greetings from Jack Benny, Ginny Sims, Red Skelton, Vera Vague, Bob Crosby, Alan Jones, Ella Logan, the Charioteers, Alan Reed, the distinguished pianist Arthur Rubinstein, General Omar N. Bradley, the Elgin Orchestra and Chorus under the direction of Louis Silvers, and your host for the full two hours, Don Amici. What do you think makes the perfect snap? Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[Ken Carpenter]

Could you be more specific?

[Don Ameche]

When it's cravinient.

[Ken Carpenter]

Okay.

[Don Ameche]

Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast.

[Ken Carpenter]

Sandwich I can grab in just a second at a.m. p.m.

[Don Ameche]

I'm seeing a pattern here. Well, yeah, we're talking about what I crave, which is anything from AM pm What more could you want? Stop by AM PM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's Cravenian ampm. Too much good stuff. I'm here on the job site with Dale, who's a framing contractor. Hey, good morning. Dale traded up to GEICO Commercial Auto.

[Ken Carpenter]

Insurance for all his business vehicles.

[Don Ameche]

We're here where he needs us most. Yep, they sure are. We make it easy for him to save on all his insurance needs, all in one place with coverage that fits his business and bottom line.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, I shouldn't have looked down.

[Don Ameche]

It's all right. We're so far up here. Look at me. Take a deep breath. Good. So good. Get a commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save. Get more with geico. Merry Christmas to those of you who have tuned in during the past few minutes. And welcome to the Elgin Watch Company's fourth annual Christmas Day greeting to America. Our joy is great on this long awaited peacetime Christmas. We've emerged from four years of war a stronger, greater nation with boundless faith in the future. Future and the perpetuation of world peace has become our sacred obligation. To those who died fighting to make it possible and to those of you who have returned to take your places in a happier world. Every one of the stars Ken Carpenter has mentioned join me in the Elgin Watch Company in best wishes for a successful and happy future. One of the men who fought with you throughout the bitter campaigns that led to VE Day is with us. He commanded a million and a half of you who served in the 1st, 3rd, 9th and 15th American Armies of the 12th Army Group. He is General Omar N. Bradley, who recently returned from overseas to become Administrator of Veterans Affairs. Elgin is proud to present General Omar N. Bradley speaking to you from Washington D.C. general Bradley, today I am thinking of Christmas 1944 and the battle of the Bulk. What our American soldiers did individually last Christmas speeded the German collapse. What our servicemen did throughout the war is the reason we can celebrate this Christmas in peace. What these veterans will do in the next few years will determine the kind of country in which we and our children will live. There's nothing easy in the job ahead. We've had difficulties difficult post war periods before. But when our servicemen got back into the machinery of American life, they put their skill and initiative into the job and made the gears mesh. In the coming months, we shall count on our veterans to show the same courage and drive they demonstrated during the war to lead us back to a prosperous peace. Last week, important new developments in veterans legislation were enacted by Congress. It is cheering that the liberalized act should be passed so close to Christmas. It is almost tempting to say that it comes as a wonderful Christmas gift to our veterans. But these benefits are not gifts. Veterans are not asking for handouts. No, the GI Bill and other legislation reflects America's conviction that it is to the nation's own interest for veterans to get back into normal civilian life as soon as possible. That is the way we in the Veterans Administration think about the job we must do. It is an important assignment and we will do it to the best of our ability. But the government alone cannot do the whole job. Laws and regulations provide no easy way out. Just as the people in a veteran's hometown look to him to help the community back to a strong peacetime economy. The veteran looks to his friends and neighbors for helpful advice. He wants to return to work, to buy a home, to start a business or to enroll in school. Good down to earth advice will start him off right and give him the chance to shoulder his responsibilities like any other citizen. We want him to be successful in his work. For these returning servicemen hold in their hands a large share of America's greatness and progress. This assurance that they shall have an opportunity to enjoy the peace and help build the future. Future is the finest Christmas greeting we can give our veterans. I know you join me in wishing them and our men still in uniform throughout the world a happy Christmas and a most successful new Year. Thank you General Bradley. I am sure everyone within sound of my voice voice is determined to help these returning veterans in their readjustment. To civilian life. One who is doing a great deal along this line is a charming and gracious star who has helped many a serviceman get a start in the field of entertainment by having him appear on a regular Friday evening program. Elgin is proud to present and commend for her work the lovely Ginny Sims. Slowly I open my eyes.

[Ken Carpenter]

Hazy with me Slowly my lips realized they had just Just been kill Slowly you stirred in my arms Thrilling me Softly you sigh and you whisper don't ever let me go Then to my ear There came a sound of music Playing all.

[Don Ameche]

Around.

[Ken Carpenter]

And in your eyes A wondrous mind Told me that this night was forever Slowly the moon came in view Smiling above that's when I suddenly knew that I was in love Then to my ears There came a sound of music Playing all around and in your eyes a wondrous light Told me that this night was forever Slowly the moon came into the you Smiling above that's when I suddenly knew that I was so in.

[Don Ameche]

Oh, that was beautiful, Jimmy. Just beautiful.

[Ken Carpenter]

Thank you, Don.

[Don Ameche]

May I say that if there's anything I love, it's a girl with a lovely, soothing voice like beer of me.

[Ken Carpenter]

Thank you so much. And a merry you tied greeting to you both. And I'm so GLAD you're here, Ms. Sims, because I have a little present I'd like to give you. Where? How thoughtful of you. It's just what I've always wanted. Three jelly beans. Just a little thing I'm so glad you liked. And, dear. You know, I almost thought you were Wristwatch.

[Don Ameche]

Well, why didn't you?

[Ken Carpenter]

Well, I couldn't get the Iron Claw to drop in the right place. Oh, well, it's the thought that counts, I always say. Hey, but what did you ask Santa Claus for, Ms. Vague? Oh, I know it's silly, but I just couldn't help it. You're supposed to ask for what you want, you know. So I asked Santa Claus for a husband. Oh, don't be silly. Santa Claus couldn't bring you a husband in his bag. He couldn't? No. Sad sack, isn't it? Well, I got just what I wanted. You did? A new fur coat. Oh, how lovely. Would you believe it's from a Russian weasel? Oh, well, you know, your boyfriend's better than I do. No offense, of course. Santa Claus was very good to me, too. I got this dress for Christmas. Really? Mm. What year? Oh, bless you. Your heart does. Wonder how many life insurance policies she carries.

[Don Ameche]

9. Last fall was won by Ms. Vague using a flying hammerlock. But seriously, Miss Vague, doesn't this brisk holiday weather do something to you?

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, yes, it's wonderful, mister. I'm feeling fit as a bugle.

[Don Ameche]

Don't you mean fiddle?

[Ken Carpenter]

No, bugle. I'm partial to anything that makes a man pucker up. By the way, Miss. Indeed, how would you like to take me out tonight? I'm really very shy, and I wouldn't ask you for this leap year.

[Don Ameche]

But, Miss Vague, this isn't leap year. You're only supposed to ask men for dates every four years.

[Ken Carpenter]

When do you think I had my last date?

[Don Ameche]

Say, whatever happened to that boy?

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, the boy. You mean Waldo?

[Don Ameche]

Yes. Isn't he that alcoholic you can't keep Anonymous?

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, now, Mr. Shane, I have to admit Waldo did imbibe a little on Christmas. But it was only because of his job, you know.

[Don Ameche]

What does he do?

[Ken Carpenter]

Well, he's a test pilot for Seagrams.

[Don Ameche]

Hey, is there any room for Sinatra's understudy around here? Well, Bob Crosby. Hiya, Don. Hiya, Bob. What's new, Don? Not much, Bob. Feeling good, Dan? Fine, Bob.

[Ken Carpenter]

Well, I'm an abne.

[Don Ameche]

I'm sorry, Mr. Crosby, this is Miss Vague. Well, solid tutti beauty. Bounce me, baby Hit me, honey and maul me, mama With a Rudy backbeat boogie we can glide and ride from side to side and we're copacetic, baby because you and I speak the same.

[Ken Carpenter]

Language well, don't tell my folks. They think I'm an American. You know, Mr. Crosby, I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed you in the picture. Going My Way.

[Don Ameche]

Miss Vague, I'm sorry, but would you feel any differently about me if I tell you that I wasn't the man in Going My Way?

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, don't be silly. I like any man who's going my way.

[Don Ameche]

Well, you must be thinking of my brother Bingham. And besides, little girl, it might frighten you tonight that in the Crosby family, I am the black sheep.

[Ken Carpenter]

Well, what are we waiting for? Start pulling the wool over my eyes. He looks so cute.

[Don Ameche]

I think you'd better hold out for Bing, Ms. Bang. He's coming into town in a few days.

[Ken Carpenter]

He is? Oh, how wonderful. When he comes in, I'll be right down at the Los Angeles station to meet him.

[Don Ameche]

Oh, that'll make Bing very happy.

[Ken Carpenter]

You think so?

[Don Ameche]

He comes in at Pasadena.

[Ken Carpenter]

You'd rather make me so mad? You always stick together. There's so many of you. Brothers too. There's Don Ameci and Jim Amici, Bing Crosby and Bob Crosby, Clark Gable and Van Johnson.

[Don Ameche]

Hey, wait a minute. Clark Gable and Van Johnson are not related.

[Ken Carpenter]

I know, but old brother.

[Don Ameche]

Miss Bake, do you really know as much about love and life as you claim to?

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, you silly boy, you. My social calendar is filled clear up till the end of December. And on New Year's Day, I've been elected to ride in the Rose Festival parade.

[Don Ameche]

On the level?

[Ken Carpenter]

Yes. All of us Glamber girls are to represent different flowers. Lauren Bacall is the gardenia. Hedy Lamar is an orchid, and I. Well, I don't like what I'm supposed to represent.

[Don Ameche]

Well, how come?

[Ken Carpenter]

But a toadstool is not a flower. Mr. Cosby, I have to be running now. I've got to go pick up my tickets for the Rose bowl game. I'm late.

[Don Ameche]

Rose bowl game? Say, where are you sitting at the game, Miss Big?

[Ken Carpenter]

Well, I'm sitting just a few feet off the field at the 50 yard line. I think it's a pretty good seat.

[Don Ameche]

Hey, hey, wait a minute. If you sit there, you'll be in the players laps.

[Ken Carpenter]

Well, it's a better seat than I thought.

[Don Ameche]

Oh, hey, Miss Vague.

[Ken Carpenter]

Yes, sis?

[Don Ameche]

Before you go, what's this I hear about the award you received?

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, did you Hear about it, Mr. Carpenter?

[Don Ameche]

Yes, I did. And I'm just curious to know, how did you win the title Ms. Elgin Watch of 1945?

[Ken Carpenter]

Well, so happens I was voted Ms. Elgin Watch because of my ability to chase men.

[Don Ameche]

How do you mean?

[Ken Carpenter]

Well, when I'm wound up, I can run for 18.

[Don Ameche]

Well, Ms. Vague, I can readily understand how your persistence should win you the unquestioned title of Miss Elgin Watch. After all, like many an Elgin, you've been running for years and years.

[Ken Carpenter]

You dear boy, I just love that little stem winder you use for a hand fresh.

[Don Ameche]

Yes, and you'd love everything about a beautiful star timed Elgin. It's a dependable masterpiece of fine watchmen. A proud possession to be cherished always. If in the past your jeweler hasn't had the Elgin model you've been dreaming of, hold fast your desire just a little longer. More Elgins are on the way and you'll be glad you waited for an Elgin.

[Ken Carpenter]

Spent my whole life waiting. Now I have to wait for an Elgin, too.

[Don Ameche]

I'm here on a job site with.

[Ken Carpenter]

Tim, who owns his own electrical contracting business.

[Don Ameche]

Three employees and two work trucks. Tim traded up to Geico Commercial Auto Insurance. We're positively here where he needs us most. They sure are. With step by step help on all his insurance needs. All for shockingly low rates. Shockingly low, huh? Just a little bit of electrician humor. Do you get it? I got it. You know, it feels like we have a real connection. All right, I'll stop. Get a commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save. Get more with geico. On this Christmas Day of 1945, humanity confronts grave problems. New responsibilities, faith and courage. These alone can overcome the barriers ahead. And Elgin brings you today a story of such faith and courage. Dawn at Midnight by Samuel Carter. Francis Robinson will play the part of Ruth Massey. Billy Brown will play Rick. And I shall play the part of Jim Drake. In a world uncertain of its destiny, you wouldn't normally pick Christmas Eve as a time to start out on a new career. But that was how the breaks came. And they changed a life that didn't seem worth living to a life I wouldn't change for yours. Because for many months, I had thought that there was no place for me in this world till Christmas, 1945. Yes, my first job, it wasn't on a farm or in a factory or office. It was in a home with a fire crackling on the hearth, the smell of balsam from the Christmas tree, the sound of a woman's lullaby. I was waiting in the living room when she came down I heard her footsteps on the stair.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, I. I heard someone come in I thought it was.

[Don Ameche]

My name is Drake, Mrs. Massey. Jim Drake. I'm from the hospital. They told us you needed somebody to mind the baby, and I volunteered, if it's all right with you.

[Ken Carpenter]

Of course. I just expected a woman. One of the nurses, maybe.

[Don Ameche]

Well, I'm afraid they can't stop there. Nurses. One of them drove me over here, though. And she's waiting now to take you back if you'd like to see my hospital credentials.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, no. I see now you're in uniform. You're. You're.

[Don Ameche]

I'm a patient, ordinarily. But tonight I have my first job. Of course, a lot of veterans wouldn't consider baby tending the beginning of a great career. But, you know, it's funny. I do.

[Ken Carpenter]

I'm sorry. In this light, I can't tell whether it's one bar or two, Lieutenant.

[Don Ameche]

But would you call me just Jim or Drake? Anything except Lieutenant Jim.

[Ken Carpenter]

How did you happen to volunteer?

[Don Ameche]

Well, I could beat you to that question. I could ask you how you happen to volunteer for what you're doing. Giving up Christmas Eve to entertain a bunch of wounded servicemen when you could be with your family.

[Ken Carpenter]

Well, perhaps it's because my family is half a family. My husband was killed in Burma seven months ago.

[Don Ameche]

Well, you've given me my answer now.

[Ken Carpenter]

I had a question for you, remember?

[Don Ameche]

How did I happen to volunteer for babysitting? Well, somebody had to, or you wouldn't have been able to entertain those men tonight. And I know how disappointed they'd have been.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, I would have done anything to get there. I tried everyone in town, of course.

[Don Ameche]

But where can you get a baby tender on a night like this? So you called the hospital and here I am.

[Ken Carpenter]

But it seems so unfair to me.

[Don Ameche]

Oh, no, please. I'm here because I want to be. All my life, I've never felt at Christmas could be Christmas without children. Overseas, I dreamt of coming home and getting married. Well, that didn't work out. But here I am spending a Christmas Eve at home and with a kid.

[Ken Carpenter]

I'm afraid Rick won't be much company.

[Don Ameche]

Rick?

[Ken Carpenter]

Rick or Ricky? He's six years old. If everything's quiet, he'll sleep till I get back.

[Don Ameche]

Well, still, for once I can think of myself as the father of a family.

[Ken Carpenter]

The father.

[Don Ameche]

Perhaps I shouldn't have said that. But it's sort of a dream of mine.

[Ken Carpenter]

Of course, it only reminded me of a dream of mine.

[Don Ameche]

I'm afraid that's the nurse.

[Ken Carpenter]

I'm all right. You're sure everything will be all right?

[Don Ameche]

Oh, yes, I'm sure. What are you gonna sing tonight?

[Ken Carpenter]

Is there anything you'd have like to have heard if you were gonna be there?

[Don Ameche]

Yes. Do you know I'll Be seeing you? That's it. That's the one.

[Ken Carpenter]

I see. Sing it for you, Jim. Good night for a little while. Mommy. Mommy.

[Don Ameche]

No, it isn't Mommy. Son, I. I just knocked over the fire tongs.

[Ken Carpenter]

Are you Santa Claus?

[Don Ameche]

Santa Claus? Why, do I look like Santa Claus?

[Ken Carpenter]

I can't tell because I can't see. I. I'm blind.

[Don Ameche]

Oh. Oh, yes. You know. You know, son, you said something very funny then.

[Ken Carpenter]

Funny?

[Don Ameche]

Yes. You said that you were blind and you couldn't see.

[Ken Carpenter]

That's funny.

[Don Ameche]

Oh, I. Sure, it is. Come on over here and I'll tell you what. Why, you can follow the sound of my voice, can't you?

[Ken Carpenter]

Yes. You're sitting in the big chair by the fireplace.

[Don Ameche]

Ah. Well, that's where you're going to sit, too. That's it. Right here beside me. Well, what I meant, Rick, was that being blind and not being able to see are two very different things.

[Ken Carpenter]

How different?

[Don Ameche]

Well, a lot of people with ordinary eyes can't See beyond the room they live in. But a person who's blind now, he's not limited that way. He can see so much further. He can see through space and time.

[Ken Carpenter]

But I can't even see the Christmas tree.

[Don Ameche]

No, not this one Christmas tree. Perhaps. But if you try hard enough, you can see all the Christmases there ever were. You can see the first Christmas and the last Christmas.

[Ken Carpenter]

The first Christmas. I like that.

[Don Ameche]

Well, why not? You know, at first that first Christmas isn't very pretty. You see a dark, forgotten land ruled over by a king called Herod. People with despair in their hearts, waiting and hoping for the light. But sure only of destruction and the bitter end. And then what happens? A great invention to change the world. Oh, no. Nothing is insignificant as that. A change child is born. And with that child, a new life for mankind. Now, let's have a look at that first Christmas.

[Ken Carpenter]

Why, it's a stable. And it's full of kings and gold.

[Don Ameche]

That's right. Kings laying down their crowns and treasures before something even greater than their power. And look, you see in the manger over there, that.

[Ken Carpenter]

That lady. It looks like Mother.

[Don Ameche]

It is Mother. It's every mother there ever was. And that light around the baby, that's the light that never, never dies.

[Ken Carpenter]

It's beautiful. And I can see it. I can see it.

[Don Ameche]

You see, I told you you could see the first Christmas.

[Ken Carpenter]

You said you'd let me see the last Christmas too.

[Don Ameche]

The last Christmas. You know, Rick, I made a bad mistake. There isn't any last Christmas. Christmas will live in the home hearts of men as long as there are men on earth. But I tell you what. I can make you see a future Christmas. I'll pick any date you want. Only make it, well, a little way off. People sometimes take a long time learning.

[Ken Carpenter]

I thought grown ups learned fast.

[Don Ameche]

Oh, no, no. Children learn fast. But grown ups sometimes give up trying. But I can see a Christmas where every home is warmed and lighted by a central glowing core. And the air is filled with wings and bells and carols. The candy canes are streamlined, but they're still sweet. And Santa Claus comes by helicopter. And then there's a little button that you push. And you know what for?

[Ken Carpenter]

No. What?

[Don Ameche]

That makes the weather. Instead of dreaming of a white Christmas, you push that button. Presto. Snow. But of course, those are only the little differences. The big difference is in the faces of the people on the street. The children singing carols or the old folks saying grace. Faces of all nationalities and colors. White, black, yellow, fair, dark. They aren't fearful anymore. They're at peace with one another. Because at last, the spirit of Christmas has become a world reality. Not just one day of the year, but every. Every one of the 300. And.

[Ken Carpenter]

Someone's here.

[Don Ameche]

Oh, yes. Yes, someone's here.

[Ken Carpenter]

I'm sorry. I came in quietly so as not to wake Rick. I couldn't help overhearing. But, Mommy, you're crying. It's not because I'm sad. It's because I wish with all my heart I could believe the things I heard just now. But you can, Mommy. You can. You can believe everything you. He says you thought I asked Santa Claus to bring me. Oh, darling, darling, I explained. He gave it to me. I asked to be able to see again. And I can see, Mommy. I can see. I can see wonderful things. Come on, darling, it's late. I'll take you back to bed. You don't need to take me. I can walk.

[Don Ameche]

I guess I ought to go along now, Miss Nancy.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, the car will wait. Tell me, how did you do it? How did you make him feel that he could see again?

[Don Ameche]

Oh, that was easy. I'm blind myself. I thought the hospital would have told you.

[Ken Carpenter]

No, no, I'd never have known.

[Don Ameche]

Well, at the hospital they try to treat you as if nothing were the most matter. The funny thing is you can be miles ahead of them.

[Ken Carpenter]

Jim, you've done so much for Ricky.

[Don Ameche]

Oh, it's nothing compared to what he's done for me.

[Ken Carpenter]

For you?

[Don Ameche]

Oh, yes. Until tonight, I felt I had nothing left to share with anyone. No place in the world to fill, no job to do. I know differently now.

[Ken Carpenter]

You should. You've given a small boy such a precious gift.

[Don Ameche]

No, not given. Shared. You know, I've had a theory. If you've got something precious and you share becomes more precious still and the oftener you divide it, the bigger it gets. It's not only Rick who can see a little better now. It's me too. Well, I guess that horns for me.

[Ken Carpenter]

I'll see you down the path.

[Don Ameche]

No, if you don't mind, I'd rather leave with a picture of you standing there. There. And the fire burning on the hearth and the lighted Christmas tree.

[Ken Carpenter]

I'm sorry, Jim, but there are no lights on the Christmas tree this year.

[Don Ameche]

Well, there are for me. I just put them there. Good night, Mrs. Matthew.

[Ken Carpenter]

Good night, Jim. And Merry Christmas.

[Don Ameche]

Let's make that plural. Merry Christmases.

[Ken Carpenter]

Yes, lots of them. Merry, Merry Christmas.

[Don Ameche]

Pardon me, but did you call for a doctor? Well, no, I didn't. Well, you should have you look terrible. Fine. Say, aren't you Doc gamble? Fear of McGee and Molly's physician. That's right. I was there when the stork delivered McGee. He was in pretty bad shape. Out of his mind part of the time, but I managed to pull him through. McGee, the stork. But getting back to your rundown condition. But Doc, I never felt better in my life. You look like you've just returned from a lost weekend. I do. But don't worry, my boy, you probably been working too hard. I've got several vitamins here that'll fix you up. Now, here you are. For better vision. This is vitamins. Vitamin A, stronger bones. This is D. For that tired feeling. This is B. Fine, I'll have some of that. Right after I tell the folks that. Elgin's fourth annual two hour Christmas Day Greeting to America will. The ALGEN Watts Company's fourth annual two hour Christmas Day greeting to America starts its second hour. In the next 60 minutes, you'll hear Jack Benny, Jenny Sims, Red Skelton, Ella Logan, the Charioteers, the celebrated pianist Artur Rubenstein, Alan Reed, Bob Crosby and the Bobcats, Alan Jones, the Elgin Orchestra in chorus under the direction of Louis Silvers and your host for the full two hours, Don Amici. Because some of you may have tuned in late for this fourth annual Christmas Day greeting to America, we say once again, Merry Christmas to all of you from each of the stars, named by Ken Co. Carpenter from the Elgin Watch Company, and of course, from myself. Our hearts are light this Christmas Day. We've given gifts and received them and we are enjoying the greatest gift of all, the gift of peace which God's help in the sacrifices of the valiant peoples of the United nations have given us. Let us, in these closing days of this year of victory, vow to keep that peace so sacred that the horrors of war will never again cloud the joy of Christmas. Let us be vigilant lest the seeds of hatred and bigotry take root and flourish again. That is the only way we can make certain that Christmas will always be as it is today. A day of true rejoicing, laughter and song. The Charioteers. Combine all these with one of the songs they're famous for. Ride, Red, Ride.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh.

[Don Ameche]

The name of the song is Ride Red. Ride, Ride Red. Ready? Take your tube. Take your T from your side, Red, stick out your chest. Don't be ashamed when I call your name. My Gabriel, send me with a rhythm. You win me well, it's make the whole town.

[Ken Carpenter]

Red.

[Don Ameche]

Red. Boy, you heard what I said. How good this face used to r me v Ride, red, ride. Take your trumpet from your side, red stick out your chest with pride. Red don't be ashamed when I called your name. Escape girl just mix with rhythm you and the weathers make the whole town red. Red, you heard what I said? My goodness gracious, you thrill me bonacious so ride with pride well, on the bridge is falling down. Why don't you help me go to.

[Ken Carpenter]

It'S.

[Don Ameche]

If any of you were fortunate enough to be listening to your radio on Thursday evening, September 6th, and were tuned to suspense, you would have heard Agnes moorhead in her unforgettable performance. Sorry, wrong number. The response of both critics and public was so enthusiastic, Ms. Moorhead was called upon on to repeat the playlist several times. On each occasion, she gave a stirring, vivid portrayal as the neurotic woman who hears a murder being plotted over cross telephone wires and finally learns that the intended victim of the murder is herself. Ms. Moorehead's characterization is truly an incomparable study in terror. Tonight we had hoped to bring you this great radio drama. Sorry, wrong number. Ms. Agnes Moorhead unfortunately was unable to be with us, so we secured the services of another personality with the same dynamic appeal, none other than Jack Benny. We now take you to Mr. Benny's home in Beverly Hills where we find Jack's sitting anxiously by the telephone, waiting, nerves shattered. Another victim of suspense. Busy, busy, busy. It can't be busy all this time. Operator. Operator. Operator. Quiet, Polly. Operator.

[Ken Carpenter]

Operator, I'm sorry. That line is busy.

[Don Ameche]

Listen, opera. I've been trying to get that number for the last 20 minutes. It's a big advertising agency. They have a switchboard.

[Ken Carpenter]

I'm sorry, the line is busy.

[Don Ameche]

It can't be busy. I've been ringing that number since 25 after 11. You know what time it is?

[Ken Carpenter]

Now, for the correct time, dial. I'll wreck 8. 900.

[Don Ameche]

Operator, I know what time it is. It's a Quarter to 12.

[Ken Carpenter]

Quarter to 12.

[Don Ameche]

Quiet, Polly. Listen, operator, I'm a subscriber. I pay my bills every month. And since I've been on this phone, I've had nothing but trouble.

[Ken Carpenter]

One moment, please. I will connect you.

[Don Ameche]

Hmm. That's all I have. Prepare department. What's your trouble? Look at my sponsor. Never mind. What do I have to do to get Hillside 7593? Just call the operator. Oh, my goodness. Why can't. Operator. Operator.

[Ken Carpenter]

Number, please.

[Don Ameche]

Look, operator, I want Hillside 7593.

[Ken Carpenter]

You may dial that number direct.

[Don Ameche]

I did dial the number, and I Keep getting a busy signal. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Look, operator, I'm Jack Benny. I have a radio program. My option comes up at 12 o'clock today. If I don't hear from my sponsor, Mr. Jones, in 15 minutes, I'll be out of a job. He's the advertising manager. I'm trying to get him on the phone and I can't get the number.

[Ken Carpenter]

I will connect you with information.

[Don Ameche]

Operator, don't you understand? I don't want information.

[Ken Carpenter]

This is information.

[Don Ameche]

Look, I don't want information. I want 7 side, Hill 5, 9. I mean Hill 7 side 593.

[Ken Carpenter]

You may dial that number to rank.

[Don Ameche]

Look, I promise to direct, indirect and spelled backwards. Now what do I have to do to get Hillside 7593? Dial that number direct. I don't know what to do. This is driving me mad. It keeps getting later. Later. Quarter to 12. Quarter to 12. Holly, it's 10 minutes to 12 now. Your watch is slow. Well, I'll try.

[Ken Carpenter]

Whoops.

[Don Ameche]

There it is. It's my sponsor. He's calling me. He's calling me.

[Ken Carpenter]

Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny?

[Don Ameche]

Yes, yes, yes. It's 50 words or less, isn't it? The contest is. Hmm. Fine time to ask about my contest. My sponsor doesn't call. Pretty soon I'll go nuts. I still have eight minutes. I've got to reach Mr. Jones by 12:00'.

[Ken Carpenter]

Clock.

[Don Ameche]

Quiet, Polly. Here's a cracker. Eat it slowly. It might be your last. Well, I'll try that number again.

[Ken Carpenter]

You'll never get it. You'll never get it.

[Don Ameche]

You'll never get it.

[Ken Carpenter]

You'll never get it. You'll never. Quiet.

[Don Ameche]

It can't still be busy. I know it can't. I'm sure there must be something wrong with the. Hello? Hello?

[Ken Carpenter]

Hello?

[Don Ameche]

Hello.

[Ken Carpenter]

Hello.

[Don Ameche]

Hello. Is that you, Mr. Jones? Mr. Jones? That's my sponsor. Mr. Jones, this is me, Jack Benny. Hello, George. They can't hear me. The wires must be crossed. Yes, George, I've thought the matter over thoroughly. I've decided to let him go. I see. Well, it's going to be quite a shock to him. He's been with us a long time. Well, George, he's had it coming. His work has fallen off so bad it isn't funny anymore. Yipe. They're Talking about me, Mr. Jones. Operator. Well, Mr. Jones, don't you think you warn him and just give him another chance? Might be difficult to replace him. That's right. Tell him, George. Tell him. Nice boy. George. Nice boy. No, George, I've made up my mind. I think we should look for a younger man. Younger? Well, I'm only 37.

[Ken Carpenter]

37. 37 and 37. At 75.

[Don Ameche]

At 74, you dope. Can't you count? You don't think warning them would do any good, eh, Mr. Jones? No, no. He's had his chance. Mr. Jones, please. George has a swell idea. Warn me. It's Christmas. Give me another chance. I might be difficult to replace. Tom Brennaman is so busy and he has to get up so early. All right, Mr. Jones. I'll let him. I didn't cut off.

[Ken Carpenter]

Operator, number please operate.

[Don Ameche]

I want Hillside 7593. Will you please get it for me?

[Ken Carpenter]

You may dial that number to Red.

[Don Ameche]

I've been dialing and I've been dialing all morning. My fingers are so swollen, they don't fit into the hole.

[Ken Carpenter]

One moment, please. I will try that number for you.

[Don Ameche]

Thank you. Thank you. Only five minutes ago. If only I can talk to Mr. Jones. If I could plead with him, beg him like I did last year.

[Ken Carpenter]

Maybe.

[Don Ameche]

I could talk to him. And give me another chance at Christmas.

[Ken Carpenter]

Sorry. That line is busy.

[Don Ameche]

Busy, busy, busy. What am I gonna do? I gotta think fast.

[Ken Carpenter]

Busy, busy, busy.

[Don Ameche]

Polly, shut up. This is serious. You may have to go to. Four minutes to 12. Wait a minute. I know. I'll call my agent. That's it. My agent. Why am I paying him 9%? I'll try again. That might be Mr. Jones.

[Ken Carpenter]

Hello? Hello, Is that you, Edna? Edna, this is Johnny Maguire. I just got back from the south. Mississippi. Haven't seen a woman in three years.

[Don Ameche]

You're the first one I called. Look, look, you must have the wrong number.

[Ken Carpenter]

Ah, don't give me that, Eden.

[Don Ameche]

I recognized your voice right away, But I.

[Ken Carpenter]

Now. Now, what do you say, Edna? Let you and me step out tonight, huh? I'll buy you a nice big dinner.

[Don Ameche]

I'm telling you, you have the wrong. No, no. What am I thinking of? He'd only want to. I'm sorry. You have the wrong. I wish I was, Edna. At least then I'd know where my. Oh, my goodness. Only three minutes to 12. No time to call my agent now. I gotta get Mr. Jones. Maybe he hadn't signed anybody else yet. I'll tell him. I'll do anything he asks me. Anything. I'll let him cut my salary this year. I'll suggest it myself. The line's clear. It's not busy. I still have time.

[Ken Carpenter]

This is Hillside 7593.

[Don Ameche]

Get me. Get me Mr. Jones, quick. This is Jack Benny.

[Ken Carpenter]

Mr. Jones is busy on another line. Would you call back?

[Don Ameche]

No, no, I'll hold on. Oh, hurry, Mr. Jones. Hurry. You haven't got much time. I mean, I haven't got much time.

[Ken Carpenter]

It's Christmas. Hello? Hello? Hello?

[Don Ameche]

Hello? Is that you, Mr. Jones? Oh, it's you, Polly. Shut your big mouth.

[Ken Carpenter]

Hello?

[Don Ameche]

What's that? Oh, Mr. Jones. I wasn't talking to you, Mr. Jones. It wasn't your big mouth. It was my parrot. This is Jack Benny. Oh, well, Jack, I'm glad you called. I wanted to tell you. Mr. Jones, please, before you say anything, listen to me. You gotta listen to me. I know I've been on the air a long time, but I'm not through yet. Honest I'm not. There's still a few good years left in me, and I want you to have them. But, Jack. LSMF LS MST LS mst. I know I made mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. I mean, Everybody but you, Mr. Jones. You always do the right thing. You're wise, smart, intelligent, kind. That's it. Kind. You're too kind to catch me aside like an old shoe. Beside, this Christmas. Give me another chance. Please. Please, please don't drop my option. Why, Jack, what are you crying about? We have no intention of letting you go. Honest, Mr. Jones, if you don't like me.

[Ken Carpenter]

What.

[Don Ameche]

You. You mean you're gonna pick up my option? Why, certainly. I've been trying to call you all morning. Your phone's been busy. My phone? Busy?

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh. Oh.

[Don Ameche]

Tell me, Jack, whatever gave you the idea we wouldn't take up your options? Well. Well, Mr. Jones, I. I called you a few minutes ago and the. The wires got crossed. I heard you talking to a man named George. George? Oh, yes. He's my office manager. Well, I. I overheard you telling him to let somebody go. You. You wanted a. A younger man. Oh, I remember. Certainly, I discharged him this morning. The.

[Ken Carpenter]

The janitor?

[Don Ameche]

Yes. Oh.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, the janitor. Well.

[Don Ameche]

Well, Mr. Jones, if the man wasn't doing his work, what else could you do? I mean, it's not your fault if a man isn't capable. There's no place for sentiment in business, Mr. Jones. That's what I like about you, Mr. Jones. You don't let your heart rule your head. The janitor got what was coming. I don't believe in a man whining and trying to hang on to a job when he's not wanted. I agree with you. If a man fails to deliver Let him go.

[Ken Carpenter]

Get rid of my say. Fire up.

[Don Ameche]

You who receive an Elgin watch this Christmas can consider yourself particularly fortunate. For your Elgin is not only a beautiful watch, it's a timepiece created by the most skillful and best equipped watchmakers in the country. Yes, your Elgin was made in America by American craftsmen. And here's one advantage of that. Each tiny part of it was made to such exacting standards of precision that should anything happen to it, another identical part can easily be secured. You can expect your Algin to give you a lifetime of satisfying service. I think too that you'll be interested to know how the accuracy of your Algin was checked. It was time to the stars. Time, correct to the hundredths of a second is computed in the Algin Observatory. And Elgin is the only watch company with its own observatory, regularly observing, recording and broadcasting time from the stars. That accurate Elgin time, by the way, is. Is now being used on the Great Plains, flown coast to coast by United Airlines and all the United Airlines new DC6s. The coming five mile a minute mainliners will be equipped with Elgin timepieces. Time to the stars. So I say, lucky you who got an Elgin this morning. And for those who were denied this gift by the shortage of Elgins, I have the happy news that more Elgins are coming. Hold fast your desire a little longer, you'll be glad you waited for an Elgin. With more and more of our servicemen coming home from overseas, the railway platform is just about the most popular place in town these days. And here's lovely Ginny Sims, a GI favorite, expressing a sentiment that is in many a girl's heart as she stands waiting for the train to come in.

[Ken Carpenter]

Waiting for the train to come in Waiting for my man to come home I've counted every minute of the live long day Been so melancholy then see what went away I've shed a million teardrops or more Waiting for the one.

[Don Ameche]

I adore.

[Ken Carpenter]

I'm waiting in the depot by the railroad track Looking for the choo choo train that brings him back I'm waiting for my life to to begin Waiting for the train to come in. Waiting for the train to come in Waiting for my guest to come home.

[Don Ameche]

I've counted every minute of the livelong.

[Ken Carpenter]

Day when so melancholy since he went away I've shed a million teardrops or more or less Waiting for the one I adore yes, yes. By the railroad track Looking for the Tutu train that brings him back I'm waiting for my life to begin Waiting.

[Don Ameche]

For the train to come in to come in. If the next man on Elgin's Christmas list had a flowing white beard and a proper costume, he might well pass for jolly old St Nicholas. Complete with pack on back and front as well. I refer to that portly prince of poetry and cheater of meter, the Falstaff Openshaw of Allen's Alley, Allen Reed. Stop the fanfare. Let the trumpets blow it. Here is Falstaff. Where shall I throw it? Are you Mary as a lark. Falstaff, what makes you so gay? Sick Transit Gloria. Monday I rejoin Fred Allen a week from Sunday. And how does that leave Allen? Probably sick Monday. Well, it'll be like old times. You and Fred together again. Oh, yes, Don Alan. Alan has great need for a man of my size. Oh, really? Yes, to carry the bags under his eyes. Seriously, what are you gonna do with Fred? What am I going to do? You've certainly heard of Alan's Alley. Oh, yes. When I've returned, it'll be a dead end. Well, I take it you've come to us equipped with sonnets. Oh, indubitably. Have you heard? Her name was Esmeralda Schwelp. She tried penicillin, but it didn't help. She should have tried sulfanilamide. She would have, but I couldn't spell it. Now here's a poem on more sentimental lines. Since mother fell into the washing machine, She's a beat up chick, but who cares? She's clean. I assume that a poet of your standing has penned a poem fitting for this time of year. By a strange coincidence, I have concocted a bit of rhymed drivel which I shall use as thank you notes for the monstrosities I received in the guise of Christmas gifts. Would like to hear it. Wouldst good list. Thank you, Grandma Hotchkiss, for the present your knitting needles built. No doubt you meant it for a sweater, but I'm using it for a quilt. And thanks to you, Aunt Susan, the slippers were attracted. But somebody should have told you I don't have two left feet. And I'm so grateful, Cousin Vincent, for that expensive fountain pen with the name engraved upon it. Only my name isn't Ben. And last but not least, thanks, Uncle Willie. Your present filled me with good cheer. I can't complain about your taste. It's the same tie I sent you last year. Quite fitting. Quite fitting. To the contrary, old boy. The tie hung down to my knees. There's one good thing about gifts from relatives. They can always be turned in for something else. Wouldn't it be nice if we could turn relatives in for something else. I take it you're not pleased with the crop on your family tree. Ooh, the crop is good enough, but one gets a little tired of nuts. However, I must say. I must say they inspire poetically. For example, here's an opus I owed to my Aunt Opal. I call it get out of the Rain Barrel, Auntie. That's no way to get in the swim. That's doggy doggerel. Well, don't let it give you distemper, but perhaps you would rather hear something more serious, like the elegy I've just finished. An elegy? Is it anything like Gray's Elegy in a country churchyard? No, it's more like Swift's Elegy in a city stock, y'.

[Ken Carpenter]

All. Oh.

[Don Ameche]

I only hope it turns out as well as the sonnet to a jukebox I heard you recite on Fred Allen's program. You know, the one that goes, put down that jukebox, Mother. You're too old to carry a tune. Yes, yes, that old thing. I've just written a sequel to it. Woodster List Woodst. Good. You're very kind. What do you call this new jukebox poem? Mother's been a perfect stranger since she caught her face in the record changer. Alan, I enjoy your frivolous phrases, but I happen to know there's another side to you. That's right, Don. It's just as big as this side. No, seriously, Alan. I remember that on one of your previous appearances for Elgin, you recited a very inspiring, serious poem. I believe it was a poem suggested by a question your young son asked you about the war. That's right. Don and I have written a sequel to that poem. A sequel prompted by another juvenile question. I call it Formula for a Lasting Peace. The other day, my young son asked, what were we fighting for? And now that we've won, what do we do to have peace instead of war? Son, I replied, this peace that we have must be made more precious than bread. The peace years to come have been dearly bought. They have been paid for by millions of dead. We owe it to them to make certain, my son, that they have not died in vain. We owe it to them to see that never again will the world endure such pain. This is how we can do it myself, son. This is the thing we will need. A harvest of honest intentions from the planting of brotherhood seed. If every man were every man's brother and every nation were equal and each had respect one for the Other these times could have no sequel if we learned to pull together in peace as we did in war. Some future life lad won't ask his dad, what are we fighting for? And Merry Christmas, Mr. Mei. Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Peavey. Is there anything I can do for you? Yes, there is, Mr. Gilder. Sleeve. Our water commissioner dropped into my drugstore list yesterday to buy you a Christmas card, and he asked me to deliver it to you. Well, now, that was nice of Gilda Sleeve. Say, Gildasleve has good taste. Let's see it, Don. Oh, that is nice. What's that stuff smeared all over the Merry Christmas? Oh, that's his nephew, Leroy. Leroy? Yes, Leroy helped him address the card and happened to be eating a chocolate ice cream cone at the time. Well, Mr. Peavey, I. I appreciate the trouble you've taken to deliver this card. Must have put you out considerably. Well, now, I wouldn't say that. Well. Excuse me, Mr. Peavey. Could I interrupt just a second to tell the folks that the 4th Annual Elgin Christmas show will continue after a brief pause for station identification. Well, I guess that takes care of that. No, I wouldn't say that. What would you say? I'd say this is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System, The Elgin Watch Company's 4th Annual Two Hour Christmas Day greeting to America begins its final half hour with Red Skelton, Ella Logan, the celebrated pianist, Artur Rubenstein, the Charioteers, Bob Crosby and the Bobcats, the Elgin Orchestra and Chorus under the direction of Louis Silvers, and your host for the full two hours, Don Amici. Once again, let me say Merry Christmas to those of you who have tuned in late. And may I also extend the compliments of the season from every one of the stars, Ken Carpenter, just mentioned, from the Elgin Watch Company, and from myself. As we share the joy of this long awaited peacetime Christmas, let us bear in mind that the war has left us the most powerful nation the world has ever known. May we have the wisdom to set an example of peace. Thus, all the Christians Christmases to come will bring the full measure of joy that Christmas should eternally hold, so that there will be undiluted joy in all laughter and music for good music is one of the most joyous things life has to offer. And it is fitting that on this grateful Christmas Day, Elgin can invite you to listen to the world famous concert pianist, Artur Rubinstein, as he plays Defier's exciting ritual fire Dance. Dance. Ah, that was marvelous, Mr. Rubenstein. Marvelous. Hearing you play makes me so envious. Thank you, Mr. Meaty. You know, I'm rather envious of you, too. You are? Yes. I have read that you have six children and I have only three. Well, what do you know? We're both parents. Yes. It's a small world, isn't it? Yes, indeed. Tell me, how old are your children? The youngest girl is 11 months, nine days and, let me see, four hours old, I believe. You certainly have her birth record impressed on your memory. I should have. I missed six concerts waiting for her appearance. Waiting is a harrowing experience, isn't it? Agonizing, yes. Being a family man, I suppose you played Santa Claus last night. Yes. Rounding up those presents was more work than playing 10 concerts. Speaking of Christmas gifts, there's one Christmas present we'd like you to pass out now to our listeners. Your wonderful presentation performance of George Gershwin's Prelude Number two for piano. It's my pleasure. Thank you. Sa.

[Ken Carpenter]

Sam.

[Don Ameche]

Sa. Four years ago today, some hundreds of thousands of people beamed with pleasure at the sight of the Elgins they'd got. Today, only a very, very few thousand had that same indescribable thrill. For in all those years of the war, Elgin craftsmen stuck to their appointed tasks made precision instruments and timing devices needed for victory. Only since VJ Day have they been able to create watches for civilians to buy. But not much longer. Need your gift of an Elgin be delivered. Production is stepping up at the Elgin, Illinois plant, the largest fine watch factory in the world. And the Elgin Watch Company is putting into operation another watch factory at Lincoln, Nebraska. Notice the names of these cities, by the way. Elgin, Illinois. Lincoln, Nebraska. They're American. All Elgin watches are made in America by American craftsmen. Pretty soon you'll see it your jewelers. New models of Elgin Watch watches improved by techniques that came out of Elgin's war work. More beautiful Elgin watches with their accuracy. Time to the stars, hold fast your desire. More Elgins are coming and you'll be glad you waited for an Elgin. Bob Crosby, late of the United States Marines, puts his Bob cats through a groovy maneuver titled March of the Bobcat. Many a GI in Italy during the past two years had a visitor drop in the seam around Christmas who was more welcome than Santa himself. That visitor was an American girl with a warm scotch bur in her voice, a smile on her lips and a batch of songs in her heart. Less than a month ago, she returned from Berlin where she topped off a six month USO tour with a case of pneumonia. Elgin is proud to welcome her home. Ella Logan.

[Ken Carpenter]

Thank you, John. And a merry Christmas, everybody.

[Don Ameche]

Nice to be Home on Christmas for a change, isn't it, Ella?

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, wonderful. Being home in America is the best Christmas present anybody could have.

[Don Ameche]

Well, we share that feeling with you, Ella. And we're all grateful to you for making past Christmases mean so much to those men overseas.

[Ken Carpenter]

Well, I was grateful for the opportunity to be with with them, Don. It was an inspiration to learn that the hardships of war had not killed our men's ability to smile and laugh. You know, I never forget meeting a little soldier in Berlin a few weeks ago. He'd been in show business and he used to wait for the USO troops to come around so he could talk to the actors. And just before I left, he gave me a letter and said, ella, don't open this until you get to New York. And when I arrived home, I opened the letter and this is what I read. My dear Ella, you don't have to send my greetings to Havana or to Apollon Rio de Janeiro show and I told you I was through with a dancer from Peru and I've written to that gentleman in Ecuador but if you'd like to do a little palace favor on account of our venue sent across the sea do this little job, go around and see the mob and ask to mob to drop a line to me Give my regards to Broadway Remember me to Herald Square Just tell all the gang on 42nd street that I will soon be there Tell them of how I'm yearning to mingle with the old Just give my regard to old Broadway and say that I deserve a lot and tell me what is playing at the Paramount and who is breaking all the records at the Strand say hello to all the guys I know at Lindy and if you meet a Shubert shake him by the hand Give my love to all the kids around the palace and kindly call my agent on the phone and tell him not a wait he better fix an opening date I got a feeling that we're coming home to give my regards to Broadway Remember M. Herald Square and give a pat on the back to all the characters on.

[Don Ameche]

All. During the past year, radio has missed the buffoonery of a top fight comedian who has been serving in the armed forces. They call him Red. But since his return to the air, his friends are calling him CH Charity because he follows hope. And it's Elgin's pleasure to extend the welcome home greeting to. Thank you very much and Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. Now that since we're lucky enough to be on this wonderful program, I would like to read chapter 31 from my scrapbook of satire. And it's entitled Junior on Christmas. Verna Felton will play my grandma. Grandmother? Our characters are fictional. If there's any similarity to persons living, it's a lie. It's Christmas morning at grandmother's house and busy taking his last toy apart, we find the mean widow Cairn.

[Ken Carpenter]

Junior. Here I jump on the bookcase. What are you doing up there?

[Don Ameche]

I'm looking for a book for the cat.

[Ken Carpenter]

Now that's silly. The cat can't read. Who said read? I gonna throw it at him. He ain't the meanest cat in the world.

[Don Ameche]

He is. He ain't the meanest cat.

[Ken Carpenter]

Junior, did he scratch you?

[Don Ameche]

Yes, he did.

[Ken Carpenter]

Where? Was it serious?

[Don Ameche]

Well, serious? Look at me arm. I wasn't vaccinated with a rainbow, you know.

[Ken Carpenter]

Junior. Jack, you're hiding something behind that dictionary. What is it, Grandma? Are you trying to pick a fight? No. No, I'm not. Yes, you is. Yes, you is. You know, it's your cookie jar. That's what I thought. After all the oranges and Christmas candy you've been eating, you have to go and eat all night cooking.

[Don Ameche]

Oh, I. I couldn't eat any of them. I wouldn't eat your cookies. Oh, might lick the sugar off the top of you. But I didn't eat any of them.

[Ken Carpenter]

I baked those cookies for your grandpa. Now look, there's nothing left but crumbs.

[Don Ameche]

Well, we could stick them together with a little pastry.

[Ken Carpenter]

You must never get into my cookie jar again.

[Don Ameche]

No.

[Ken Carpenter]

If you want one, ask. I'll give it to you.

[Don Ameche]

Yeah, you'll give it to me, but where? Okay, I will ask. But there's nothing like the thrill of capturing you own, you know.

[Ken Carpenter]

Hey, can I ride me new tricycle out in the street? Goodness, no. A car might hit you and dent the fender.

[Don Ameche]

Yes. Boy, they sure does me.

[Ken Carpenter]

Does he you yet? Put on your new hat. I want you to run an errand for me. I can't.

[Don Ameche]

I lost my new hat.

[Ken Carpenter]

I went outside in the wind, blew it away. How could you lose it? It had an elastic chin strap.

[Don Ameche]

Elastic?

[Ken Carpenter]

Was that elastic? Yes. Why? I thought it was licorice.

[Don Ameche]

I ate her.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, go find your hat.

[Don Ameche]

Okay, I'm gonna chin up this buffet.

[Ken Carpenter]

Here and get me another banana.

[Don Ameche]

Now I'll shinny up the corner.

[Ken Carpenter]

Junior, what happened? You know your three piece coffee set you got for Christmas? Yeah, you got seven pieces. Aren't you. Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Well, don't stand there with that silly smile on your face. I ain't Smiling? I got a banana in me mouth sideways. Junior, the way you act, you surprise me. Stick around, kiddo. You get over that. Junior, for that you'll be punished.

[Don Ameche]

You hit me. You hit me. You busted me with a jaw. You busted me. You broke it.

[Ken Carpenter]

You broke it. Well, all right. In that case, you won't be able to eat any cream pie.

[Don Ameche]

Well, I don't guess it would have broke that bad.

[Ken Carpenter]

Why don't you go play? With what?

[Don Ameche]

Everything's busted.

[Ken Carpenter]

Is your BB guy.

[Don Ameche]

Yeah.

[Ken Carpenter]

I am sick of that thing though already. Besides, there's no more light bulbs left on the tree. Junior, you wouldn't shoot the bulbs off the tree, would you? Oh, no, you're kidding. You just keep laughing, kiddo. Junior, you go play for a few minutes. Then I want you to take a Boston cream pie next door to Mr. Fowler. It's my Christmas present to him. Me take a pie? Yes.

[Don Ameche]

Trusting old soul.

[Ken Carpenter]

Hey, I will go upstairs first and.

[Don Ameche]

See if Grandpa is awake.

[Ken Carpenter]

He's got me another present. You know, all of your presents were under the tree. Yeah, but the muffler.

[Don Ameche]

Where's me muffler? Me muffler.

[Ken Carpenter]

What makes you think he has a muffler for you? Well, you remember when I gave him a hot foot with a blowtorch? You made him stop losing his temper. Yes, well, I heard him say he'd like to wrap something around me neck.

[Don Ameche]

Where's me muffler?

[Ken Carpenter]

Well, just forget about it. You shouldn't bother Gramps when he's sleeping. He isn't a well man.

[Don Ameche]

No, he ain't, huh? No.

[Ken Carpenter]

He will be when he sleep it.

[Don Ameche]

Off though, won't he?

[Ken Carpenter]

Don't you talk like that. He isn't well. He has horrible hair. Yes, I know.

[Don Ameche]

And bumping into lamp poles don't help him anymore.

[Ken Carpenter]

Junior, don't you hit me. Here, here, put your coat on and take this pie over to Mr. Fowler and come right back. Christmas dinner will be ready soon. Okay, I will. Hurry.

[Don Ameche]

I will.

[Ken Carpenter]

I wonder what's keeping Junior. He's been gone 20 minutes. I'd better stop. Hello. Oh, Mr. Fowler, this is Verna. Merry Christmas to you, too. Has Junior arrived with your Christmas pie yet? He hasn't. Junior, I. Tom, where have you been? Not kind of sleepy, I think.

[Don Ameche]

I go up there and take a nap.

[Ken Carpenter]

Junior, did you take that Pinex or like I told you? Well, must you upset the holiday? You know the old saying, feast on earth, you know. Junior, do you see that razor strap?

[Don Ameche]

Yes, I do.

[Ken Carpenter]

You know what I'm going to do with it, don't you?

[Don Ameche]

I don't care.

[Ken Carpenter]

Go ahead and shave. I see you later. I see you later. Junior, what did you do with that pie?

[Don Ameche]

Well, a dog bit me and I. Drop it.

[Ken Carpenter]

Where did the dog bite you? I don't see any marks.

[Don Ameche]

Well, he had very soft teeth. He gets.

[Ken Carpenter]

We'd better call the doctor. The dog might have had rabies. Oh, no. Look, you're foaming at the mouth. Oh, yeah. You have hydrophobia. That ain't hydrophobia. That's part of the cream pie.

[Don Ameche]

You trick me. You tricked me.

[Ken Carpenter]

All right, now tell me, did you eat that pie?

[Don Ameche]

No, not all of it. Only half of the we don't have.

[Ken Carpenter]

What did you do with the rest of it?

[Don Ameche]

Well, I put part of it in this pocket and part in that pocket.

[Ken Carpenter]

Oh, you. Why did you hit me there? I had a piece in that pocket, too.

[Don Ameche]

Thank you, Red. We all love Junior. But I'm sorry you didn't bring some of the other characters from your show along with you. Like that boy from the country, Clem Cadetel Hoppers to name. Well, howdy, Clem. Howdy. Well, howdy Doody to you too. Oh, Ken. Ken Carpenter, meet Clem Cadiddle Hopper. This ain't hard to say, you know. Just shift your tongue in the second between the caddle and the hopper. I've heard about you, Clem. You can't prove nothing. But you know, you do have a reputation for being a little, shall we say, subpar mentally, shall we say stupid? Clem, even you have sense enough to recognize quality when you see it. Just look at this Lord Elgin watch. Reasonably priced, distinctively styled and timed to the stock stars. Oh, that's really nice. What's that little thing running around in a circle there? Well, it's a second hand. Looks like a third hand to me. You can't count this guy. You can't. Oh, Clem, you're a. And my father before me. I sometimes wonder, Clem, if you can even tell time. Well, you just give me that watch there, huh? Show you mighty pretty. But where did Mickey Mouse go? Time, Clam. The time. Oh, the time. Let's see, it's 22. No, it's 10 after. It's about. No, that ain't it either. Well, when it gets around to midnight, I'll tell you. And you can be sure, cl, that when the Elgin does get around to midnight, it will be midnight right on the dot. Because Elgins are accurate time to the stars. Elgins are made by fourth generation craftsmen. The same craftsmen who during the war stayed faithfully on the job making precision instruments and timing devices for the armed forces. And now these Elgin craftsmen are concentrating on the production of watches. There'll be more of these beautiful star timed Elgins ready for you soon. So if you didn't get an Elgin in your Christmas stocking today, hold fast to your desire. You'll be glad you waited for an Elgin.

[Ken Carpenter]

Why?

[Don Ameche]

Because Elgin is a goodbye. And goodbye to you too. This Christmas day has been a particularly joyous one. We have celebrated not only the birthday of our Lord, but also the victory and the peace he saw fit to bestow on us. As we look ahead to the new year, it's appropriate that we should search our hearts for a prayer of guidance for the future. Perhaps the best expression of what we could ask of him this day is contained in the following words written by a man who has long inspired the men and women of this generation, the late Stephen Vincent Binet. God of the Free we pledge our hearts and lives today to the cause of all free mankind. Our Earth is but a small star in the great universe, yet of it we can make if we choose a planet unvexed by war, untroubled by hunger or fear, undivided by senseless distinctions of race, color or theory. Grant us that courage and foreseeing to begin this task today, that our children and our children's children may be proud of the name of man. Yet most of all, grant us brotherhood not only for this day, but for all our years. A brotherhood not of words, but of acts and deeds. Grant us a common faith that man shall know bread and peace, that he shall know justice and righteousness, freedom and security. An equal opportunity and an equal chance to do his best, not only in our own lands, but throughout the world. And in that faith, let us march toward the clean world. Our hands can make. Angels sing. Heart of Heaven. This is Don Amici saying Merry Christmas for the Elgin Watch Company and the many stars who hope they have helped make this day an even happier one. It has been wonderful to be with you for this fourth annual two hour Christmas greeting. May the new year bring you the happiness you deserve after four years of toil and sacrifice. And may each one of us be granted the wisdom to help share the new world of peace and progress that must surely lie ahead for all freedom loving people. For making it possible to bring you this fourth annual two hour Christmas day greeting to America. The Elgin Watch Company of Elgin, Illinois wishes to thank Lever Brothers, makers of Lux soap, for the appearance of Louis Silvers Vardens Company for the Paris of General Sims and the Ford Motor Company for the appearance of Bob Crosby. Jack Benny appeared through the courtesy of Lucky Strike Cigarettes and Bob Holt to the courtesy of PepsiDan. We also wish to thank the Metro Golden Mare Studio, producers of the Harvey Girls and the makers of Raleigh cigarettes for the appearance of Red Skelton. Don Ameche can currently be seen in Guest Wife. The United Artists production Veraveigue will soon be seen in the Columbia Pictures stand. Food Elgin also wishes to thank the Craft Foods Company for the appearance of the Charioteers. And myself, I'm Ken Carpenter. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.