Al Jolson - Lifebuoy Show 38-11-15 First Song - California, Here I Come, Guest - Vera Zorina, Merry Macs

Summary

Podcast Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Al Jolson - Lifebuoy Show 38-11-15
Release Date: July 15, 2025

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Introduction

In this captivating episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, host Tiny Buckner welcomes iconic performer Al Jolson as the star of the evening. Set against the nostalgic backdrop of the Golden Age of Radio, the show transports listeners back to a time when families gathered around the radio to enjoy beloved programs. This particular episode, aired on July 15, 2025, features a mix of engaging dialogues, musical performances, and entertaining segments that showcase the charm and wit of Al Jolson alongside special guests Vera Zarina and The Merry Macs.

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Opening Remarks and Guest Introductions

The show kicks off with Tiny Buckner introducing Al Jolson amidst lively banter. At [00:16], Tiny sets the stage by mentioning the Life Buoy Program's star lineup, which includes Parky Carcass, Lud Gluskin and his orchestra, and special guests Vera Zarina and Professor Quiz.

Al Jolson warmly responds to Tiny's greetings:

Al Jolson ([00:48]): "Hello, everybody, and hello, Tiny."

Their friendly exchange continues as Tiny hints at an upcoming party, but Al humorously declines due to a restless night caused by an incessant bellboy delivering a mysterious package ([00:58]). This light-hearted interaction sets the tone for the evening's convivial atmosphere.

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Musical Performance: "California, Here I Come"

At [01:44], Al transitions into a musical performance. With the orchestra led by Lud Gluskin, Al delivers a spirited rendition of "California, Here I Come". The performance is met with enthusiastic applause, showcasing the era's musical vitality.

Lud Gluskin introduces the song:

Lud Gluskin ([01:53]): "California, here I come Right back where I started from where bowers of flowers bloom in the spring each morning at dawning the birdies sing..."

The performance concludes with Al expressing his appreciation:

Al Jolson ([03:09]): "Thank you. Thank you."

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Spotlight on Vera Zarina

Al Jolson takes a moment to introduce the evening's stunning guest, Vera Zarina, praising her beauty and talent:

Al Jolson ([03:09]): "We have as our guest tonight one of the most beautiful ladies in the world... Vera Zarina."

Vera Zarina engages in charming banter with Al, playfully addressing him by his maiden name and discussing the allure of radio versus television:

Vera Zarina ([04:00]): "Serena. Radio is really a wonderful thing, but tonight. Tonight, honestly, I wish we had television."

Their exchange is filled with humor and flirtation, highlighting Vera's grace and Al's charismatic personality. Vera complements Al by mentioning his wife, Ruby, adding depth to their conversation.

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Performance by The Merry Macs: "Chopsticks"

The show introduces The Merry Macs, a popular swing group, who perform their rendition of "Chopsticks" at [10:45]. Their lively performance adds a vibrant musical interlude, engaging listeners with harmonious vocals and catchy rhythms.

The Merry Macs sing:

The Merry Macs ([11:12]): "Chopsticks. Oh chopsticks. There's nothing like chopsticks to help any romance along..."

Their performance is met with enthusiasm, demonstrating the show's blend of humor and musical talent.

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Segment: Critical Moments in the Lives of People

At [13:42], Tiny Buckner introduces a satirical segment titled "Critical Moments in the Lives of People." Through a series of humorous scenes, the segment underscores the importance of making good impressions, especially concerning body odor (B.O.).

Tiny Buckner humorously advises:

Tiny Buckner ([16:18]): "Use Lifebuoy health soap with its exclusive ingredient, Lifebuoy in your daily bath stops."

This segment serves both as entertainment and an effective advertisement for Lifebuoy soap, blending seamlessly with the show's comedic elements.

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Interactive Quiz with Professor Quiz

A highlight of the evening is the playful interaction between Al Jolson, Professor Quiz, and Parky Carcass. Introduced at [17:16], Professor Quiz engages in a humorous battle of wits, where Al attempts to stump him with unconventional questions.

One notable exchange at [19:52] illustrates the playful competition:

Al Jolson ([20:05]): "That's easy. A Republican."

The banter continues with absurd questions, such as:

Al Jolson ([22:03]): "If it takes a cast iron goldfish with a rubber tail 14 days to swim around a bowl of borscht, how long will it take an electric eel with a short circuit to shoot a matzo ball in the side pocket?"

This segment showcases the hosts' quick wit and interactive chemistry, providing listeners with both laughter and entertainment.

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Closing Performance and Farewell

As the show nears its end, Al Jolson delivers a moving rendition of the spiritual "Oh, What a Day that Will Be," emphasizing themes of peace and harmony ([25:31]). This performance bridges the show's lighthearted moments with a profound message, leaving listeners inspired.

In his closing remarks, Al expresses gratitude to the guests and teases upcoming episodes:

Al Jolson ([28:35]): "It's been swell being here in New York, but our visit is over... next week we will come over this network from Hollywood..."

Tiny Buckner wraps up by thanking the sponsors and acknowledging the contributions of guests like Professor Quiz and Vera Zarina, reinforcing the show's community spirit and anticipation for future episodes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Al Jolson on Beauty and Television [04:07]:

  "Radio is really a wonderful thing, but tonight. Tonight, honestly, I wish we had television."

• Vera Zarina on Beauty [04:35]:

  "If Ruby's listening, she will close them for you."

• Humorous Advertising for Lifebuoy [16:18]:

  "Use Lifebuoy health soap with its exclusive ingredient, Lifebuoy in your daily bath stops."

• Professor Quiz's Challenge [17:57]:

  "Have you ever seen a whole dog in the ground by a rabbit?"

• Playful Exchange on Hypotenuse [20:19]:

  Professor Quiz: "I'm sorry, Professor. You. You'll have to answer that yourself, Parky. That's Professor Quiz."

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Conclusion

This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio masterfully blends humor, music, and interactive segments to recreate the enchanting essence of classic radio shows. Al Jolson shines as the charismatic host, engaging audiences with his storytelling, musical talent, and delightful interactions with guests like Vera Zarina and groups like The Merry Macs. The inclusion of relatable humor, such as the Lifebuoy promotion and the whimsical Professor Quiz segment, ensures that both nostalgic listeners and new audiences find something to enjoy. As the show concludes, the promise of future broadcasts from Hollywood leaves listeners eagerly anticipating more golden moments from this timeless radio era.

Transcript

[Tiny Buckner]

From New York City, we bring you the Life Buoy Program starring Al Jolson, with Parky Carcass and Lud Gluskin and his orchestra. And our special guest stars, Zorina the Merry Max and Professor Quiz. And, friends, here comes the winning candidate of fun and song, our own Al Jolson.

[Al Jolson]

Hello, everybody, and hello, Tiny.

[Tiny Buckner]

Hello, Al. You know, Al, you're just the man I want to see.

[Al Jolson]

Really.

[Tiny Buckner]

You know, we're all going back to California tomorrow, so we're giving a party after the show. But, Al, without you, it just won't mean a thing.

[Al Jolson]

Well, I'm sorry, Tiny. I'd really like to go, but I didn't get any sleep at all last night.

[Tiny Buckner]

Well, how come, Al?

[Al Jolson]

Well, you see, I was sound asleep when in the middle of the night, a bellboy knocked at my door and woke me up. I said, what do you want? And he said, there's a package downstairs for you, Mr. Jolson. So I said, let it stay there until morning. Well, about 4 o' clock in the morning, I fell asleep again, you know, And I was there doing, dreaming peacefully, the most beautiful slumber I'd ever had, when there was another knock on the door. And I went to the door and there was the same bellboy. He said, oh, Mr. Jolson, you know that package I told you about?

[Lud Gluskin]

Well, it ain't for you.

[Tiny Buckner]

Oh, say, Al, by the way, did you wire the folks at home that you're coming there?

[Al Jolson]

No, but I'm going to tell it to them right now.

[Lud Gluskin]

California, here I come Right back where I started from where bowers of flowers bloom in the spring each morning at dawning the birdies sing and everything a sun kiss Mrs. Don't be late that's why I can hardly wait Come on, open up. Open up that Golden Gate California, here I come California, here I come Right back where I start at brown where flowers of flowers bloom in the spring each morning at dawning the birdies sing and everything has sun Dizzy. Missed it. Don't be late. That's why I can hardly wait Open up that Golden Gate California here I taught.

[Al Jolson]

Thank you. Thank you. We have as our guest tonight one of the most beautiful ladies in the world. Honestly, folks, she's too beautiful for one woman. She should incorporate. She plays the part of the angel in that hit show, I Married An Angel. Really, folks, if I was sure all angels look like her, well, I'd start getting ready, you know. I'd give up playing casino. I'd cut out smoking corn silk and drinking elderberry wine. Honestly, it Would be worth it. Well, I want you to meet the grandest gala I've ever seen her. I mean, that gorgeous creature, Vera. Zarina.

[Vera Zarina]

How do you do? And how are you, Mr. Jolson?

[Al Jolson]

Well, you can call me by my maiden name, Albertina. All right.

[Vera Zarina]

Albertina.

[Al Jolson]

Serena. Radio is really a wonderful thing, but tonight. Tonight, honestly, I wish we had television.

[Vera Zarina]

Television?

[Al Jolson]

Yes, so all the listeners could see how beautiful you are.

[Vera Zarina]

Oh, then they would see you too.

[Al Jolson]

Mm. Well, that wouldn't be so good, Zarina, really. You know, you're the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. I know. Oh, yes. I'm qualified because I've had my eyes open since I was six days old.

[Vera Zarina]

If Ruby's listening, she will close them for you.

[Al Jolson]

Uh huh. Then you know Mrs. Jolson.

[Vera Zarina]

Oh, yes. And I think she's really beautiful.

[Al Jolson]

You said it. But when you talk about beauty, honey, you should see Ruby's sister, Helen. You know, last year she won a beauty contest in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

[Vera Zarina]

Is she that beautiful?

[Al Jolson]

Well, no, but she was the only one of the contests that had a chest that the words Albuquerque, New Mexico would go. Oh, by the way, you know Dennis King, you know, in the show, your leading man? He's very, very lucky playing opposite you. He really is.

[Vera Zarina]

Oh, Mr. King is a very nice man and a very good actor, don't you think?

[Al Jolson]

Oh, he's all right. But Dorina, did you. Did you ever see me play love scenes?

[Vera Zarina]

No, I haven't.

[Al Jolson]

Why? Gal, listen. When I play love scenes, the audience are glued in their seats.

[Vera Zarina]

Well, that's a nice way of keeping them in.

[Al Jolson]

What? You know that scene in the play where he hugs you like this? Well, if I did it, I'd hug you like this. And you know that scene where he grabs you and kisses you like this? Well, I. I'd kiss you like this.

[Vera Zarina]

But there is no scene like that in the show.

[Al Jolson]

Well, I put it in the show. I'm no fool. And you know, honey, the song he sings to you. You know the one.

[Vera Zarina]

Oh, you mean spring is here?

[Al Jolson]

Yeah. Well, here's the way I'd sing it to you. Lud Point. A little spring music. It's arena me, Will. Spring is here why doesn't my heart go dancing? Spring is here why in the walls romancing no desire no ambition Lead me maybe it's because nobody needs me Oscar. Spring is here why doesn't the breeze delight me? Stars appear why doesn't the night invite me?

[Lud Gluskin]

Maybe it's because nobody loves me Spring.

[Al Jolson]

Is a horrible here.

[Lud Gluskin]

I hear.

[Vera Zarina]

You'Re a fine artist, Mr. Jordan.

[Al Jolson]

Thank you. And so are you. You know that scene in the show where you call the angels?

[Vera Zarina]

Yes.

[Al Jolson]

Would you do something for me tonight? Will you call the angels just like you do in the show, and I'll save 440. You know, look, call them by their names and maybe. Maybe they'll come flying in here. Go on, will you call them, honey?

[Vera Zarina]

All right.

[Al Jolson]

Please.

[Vera Zarina]

Lucinda. Clarinda. Philomena. Rosalina. Cironella. Arabella. Florabella.

[Al Jolson]

Look, believe it or not, here comes somebody flying down.

[Lud Gluskin]

Park, your partner.

[Parky Carcass]

Hello, kids.

[Al Jolson]

Pocky, you're just in time to meet one of the most charming guests we've ever had. Yeah. Did you ever hear of Zarina?

[Parky Carcass]

Sure, I have it every morning for breakfast. Serena with cream, you know.

[Al Jolson]

No, not Zarina with cream. That's Farina. This is Arena. And between you and me, Pocky, isn't she a vision of loveliness and the personification of feminine pulchritude?

[Professor Quiz]

Yeah.

[Parky Carcass]

Hey, she's pretty, too.

[Vera Zarina]

Oh, thank you, Mr. Park. Your Hontus.

[Al Jolson]

Park, your hunters. Mm. Caught between two dialects. Look, Parky, you know Ms. Arena right now is appearing in one of the season's hit plays on Broadway. You've heard about it.

[Parky Carcass]

Heard about what?

[Al Jolson]

Heard about what? Yeah, I Married an Angel.

[Professor Quiz]

You're lucky.

[Parky Carcass]

You should see what I got.

[Al Jolson]

No, no, no. Now, look, Parky, I'm referring to the play call I Married an Angel.

[Parky Carcass]

Oh, sure, I seen the first two acts.

[Vera Zarina]

Why not the third act? That one is the best.

[Parky Carcass]

Well, the program said third act two years later, and I couldn't wait.

[Al Jolson]

Well, don't mind Parker, Serena. You see, when he was born, he did a terrible thing. He lived.

[Vera Zarina]

Oh, I like him. He has such a sweet, nice, kind, humble face.

[Parky Carcass]

Thank you, Ms. Zorina.

[Vera Zarina]

Other people call me Ms. Zorina, but you can call me Zorina.

[Parky Carcass]

Oh, that's good. Other people call me Parky Kakis. But you can call me anytime.

[Al Jolson]

Parky, tell me something. What is this power you have over women? What have you got that I haven't got?

[Parky Carcass]

A brother on the pwa.

[Vera Zarina]

Oh, Parky, you're so pretty. Look at those eyes, those ears, those lips, those nose.

[Al Jolson]

Zorina, take another look. You forgot those chins.

[Vera Zarina]

Fakie. Darling, I only met you a little while ago, but I'm crazy for you today. Today I'm yours.

[Parky Carcass]

Yeah, but what am I gonna do tomorrow?

[Al Jolson]

Oh, Parky, you're a lucky devil to be liked by an artist like Zarina. Do you realize that she's appeared before? The crown heads of Europe. A lady who was commanded to come before the King and Queen of England.

[Parky Carcass]

What's that? I came before the King and Queen of England.

[Al Jolson]

You came before the King and Queen of England? Sure.

[Parky Carcass]

I came to America 20 years ago. They're not coming till next.

[Al Jolson]

Thank you, Zarina. It was sure swell of you to come here before going through your own performance at the theater. And now I bring, well, one of the finest young swing groups in the country. You hear them every Wednesday night on the Fred Allen Show. And I'm sure my friend Fred has said all the clever things that can be said about these youngsters. And so I give you three boys and a girl who call themselves the Merry Macs. They offer their own version of chopsticks.

[The Merry Macs]

Chopsticks. Oh chopsticks. There's nothing like chopsticks to help any romance along Forehead, start playing Two heads start swaying Two hearts start singing a song if one of us snakes any music mistakes While we're chop, chop, chop, chopping the sticks no need to get mad for there's nothing so bad that a couple of kisses can fix.

[Lud Gluskin]

Let'S.

[The Merry Macs]

Play together and we'll find out whether we'll ever be really in tune.

[Lud Gluskin]

Don'T.

[The Merry Macs]

Dare to stop Till our hearts go pop pop While we chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp Chop the sticks, Chopsticks oh chopsticks there's nothing like chopsticks to help your romance along Forehead, start playing and two.

[Lud Gluskin]

Hands start swaying While two hearts are.

[The Merry Macs]

Singing a song if one of us makes any musical mistakes While we are chop, chop, chopping the sticks Chop, chop, chopping the sticks no need to get mad for there's nothing in the world so bad that a couple of kisses can't fix let's play together and we'll find out whether we'll ever be really in trouble don't you dare to stop till our hearts go pop pop While we chop, chop, chop the stick chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop.

[Al Jolson]

Chop, chop.

[The Merry Macs]

No dare to stop till our hearts go pop up While we.

[Lud Gluskin]

Are chop, chopping that stick.

[Al Jolson]

Thank you, kids. It's grand when boys meet girl in close harmony. It's too bad that all people aren't in closer harmony. Why? Aren't they tiny?

[Tiny Buckner]

Well, Al, I'll illustrate the answer to that question with a series of little scenes entitled Critical Moments in the Lives of People.

[Al Jolson]

How do you do, Ms. Lovedale? Bob Jones introduced us one lunch hour last week. I'm John Kempton.

[Vera Zarina]

Oh, of course, Mr. Campton. Excuse me if I rush along. I have an appointment.

[Al Jolson]

Hello, Mr. Spang.

[Tiny Buckner]

I've been trying to get in to.

[Al Jolson]

See you for months.

[Professor Quiz]

Oh, yes, Brown.

[Al Jolson]

Can you make it some other time? I'm very busy today.

[Vera Zarina]

Hello, Mrs. Gates. I haven't seen you in ages. Can't we go to the church supper together tonight? I'm sorry, I can't go.

[Tiny Buckner]

And those were three people who were turned down. And we'll never know why. Yet the answer is so simple. Each had made a bad impression. That's why any moment when two people are together may be a critical moment for both. For each forms an impression of the other. A bad impression may do untold harm. And nothing certainly makes a worse impression than B.O. unfortunately, B. O offenders rarely know when they're guilty. Don't let B O ever make a bad impression. That may spoil chances for success in romance, business or friendship. Use Lifebuoy health soap with its exclusive ingredient, Lifebuoy in your daily bath stops. BO assures personal freshness.

[Al Jolson]

Ladies and gentlemen, I know that all you folks listening in tonight, especially you mothers and fathers.

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[Tiny Buckner]

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[Al Jolson]

Are familiar with a youngster that continually keeps asking questions. Well, I want you to meet that same youngster grown up. Presenting the one and only, the original Professor Quiz.

[Professor Quiz]

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. And how do you do, Mr. Joseph?

[Al Jolson]

How do you do?

[Professor Quiz]

How are you feeling tonight? And if so, what's the reason for it? I'll give you 10 seconds on that one.

[Al Jolson]

Now wait a minute. Wait a minute, Professor. Right off the bat, you start asking me questions. But tonight we're going to reverse that procedure. I'm going to ask you the questions.

[Professor Quiz]

I don't answer the questions. I ask them.

[Al Jolson]

Well, I listen to your Saturday night battle of Wits program. Now tell me something, Professor. Is it true you know the answers to over 100,000 questions?

[Professor Quiz]

Well, roughly speaking, I imagine I have answered about 100,000 questions on my program.

[Al Jolson]

Well, if you Know the answer to a hundred thousand questions.

[Lud Gluskin]

May I ask you just one?

[Professor Quiz]

Well, that sounds simple enough. What is the question?

[Al Jolson]

What's Myrnalor's phone number? Come on, give me that.

[Professor Quiz]

Well, I'd like to know that one myself.

[Al Jolson]

You ain't kidding. Now, look, professor, how would you like to do a great favor to the married men of this nation?

[Professor Quiz]

Why, certainly, Al, gladly.

[Al Jolson]

Then let me broadcast your telephone number to all the husbands listening in tonight.

[Professor Quiz]

But just what good would my telephone number do you husbands of America?

[Al Jolson]

Brother, listen, when we get home at 5 o' clock in the morning and our wives start popping questions at us, we need somebody like you that knows all the answers. Yes, sir.

[Parky Carcass]

That's correct, Jocelyn. Absolutely correct.

[Professor Quiz]

Pardon me, Mr. Jolson, but that thing standing there, is it true or false?

[Al Jolson]

I'm sorry, Professor. You. You'll have to answer that yourself, Parky. That's Professor Quiz.

[Parky Carcass]

Well, ain't that a coinky dinky? You know, quiz is my middle name.

[Professor Quiz]

What do you mean, Quiz is your middle name?

[Parky Carcass]

Well, when I was born, my father looked down at me. Then he looked up at my mother and says, let's call it Quiz. Yeah.

[Professor Quiz]

No, the word is quits. Quits, not quiz. Now I can readily see why your father wanted to call it quits.

[Parky Carcass]

Wise guy, huh? Listen to me, Professor Diz. You know when you talk to me, you're talking to a fellow that knows all the answers.

[Al Jolson]

Parky, try him out with a couple of your questions. Come on, Professor. Maybe that'll shut him up. Go ahead.

[Professor Quiz]

All right, I'll try him. Now, are you ready for the first question?

[Parky Carcass]

Really, I'm way ahead of you. I already know the answer. 22 cucumbers.

[Professor Quiz]

But I haven't given you a question yet.

[Parky Carcass]

Well, that makes me one up on you. Give the second question to Justin. You're too easy for me.

[Professor Quiz]

With pleasure. Now, Al, here is your question. If a person from Washington is called a Washingtonian, and a person from Oregon is called an Oregonian, and a person from California is called a Californian, what do they call a person from Vermont?

[Al Jolson]

That's easy. A Republican.

[Parky Carcass]

You know. And another thing, Mr. Quiz. Jocelyn and me knows the answer to every question in the world.

[Al Jolson]

That's right, Professor. Any questions that I can't answer, Parky? Can't? Really?

[Professor Quiz]

You don't say so. Well, Al, here's one for you to fool around with. Prove that in a right angled triangle, the square of the hypotenuse equals the sum of the squares of the other two sides.

[Al Jolson]

Well, Al, I'M sorry, but you see, that's one of the questions Parky can answer.

[Parky Carcass]

What are you trying to do, Jocelyn? Double doomy.

[Professor Quiz]

Well, Mr. Parkykakis, I'll repeat that question again for your benefit. Yeah, we'll take it slow.

[Parky Carcass]

Wait a minute, don't go so fast. Go ahead.

[Lud Gluskin]

Right.

[Professor Quiz]

Prove that in a right angled triangle, the square of the hypotenuse is equal. Equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides. Can you prove that?

[Parky Carcass]

I don't have to prove it, I admit it.

[Lud Gluskin]

Very good, Parky, very good.

[Professor Quiz]

Well, gentlemen, so far your scores are 0 minus 20. Do I dare attempt another question?

[Al Jolson]

Sure, you can't scare us, Professor.

[Professor Quiz]

All right, here goes. Mr. Park your carcass. I'm going to ask you one of the oldest questions in the world.

[Parky Carcass]

Well, you came to the right fellow.

[Al Jolson]

Go ahead.

[Professor Quiz]

All right, Pocky, which came first, the chicken or the egg?

[Parky Carcass]

The egg came first because that's on account of the chicken came from the egg. That's easy.

[Professor Quiz]

Yes, but who laid the egg?

[Al Jolson]

That's right, Pocky, who laid the egg? Come on now, who laid the egg?

[Parky Carcass]

Well, don't look at me, I didn't do it.

[Al Jolson]

Well, all I can say is if you did, you'd be on Ripley's program.

[Parky Carcass]

Yeah, don't kid yourself. There was a lot of eggs laid on this program.

[Al Jolson]

Parky, you're self conscious looking. Professor, I've got another question.

[Professor Quiz]

Okay, Mr. Josephson, is it a hard one?

[Al Jolson]

Oh, no, this is a very easy one.

[Professor Quiz]

Very well, go right ahead.

[Parky Carcass]

Yeah, give it to him, Justin.

[Al Jolson]

Go ahead. All right, here it is, Professor. If it takes a cast iron goldfish with a rubber tail 14 days to swim around a bowl of borscht, how long will it take an electric eel with a short circuit to shoot a matzo ball in the side pocket?

[Parky Carcass]

Fool around with that for a while.

[Al Jolson]

Go ahead. There's no use, professor, there's no answer to that. I was just kidding.

[Professor Quiz]

Oh, yes, there is.

[Vera Zarina]

No.

[Professor Quiz]

There. If it takes a cast iron goldfish with a rubber tail 14 days to swim around a bowl of borscht.

[Al Jolson]

Yeah.

[Professor Quiz]

It will take an electric eel with a short circuit three times as long to shoot a matzo ball in the side pocket as it would a bow legged cow to write, moving pictures are your best entertainment with a stick of bubblegum.

[Parky Carcass]

That's correct, professor, absolutely correct.

[Professor Quiz]

You see, boys, there is an answer to every question, if you can figure it out.

[Al Jolson]

Is that so?

[Parky Carcass]

I bet you that you can't even answer some of your Own questions?

[Al Jolson]

Oh, that's silly, Parky. The man isn't going to give a question if he can't answer himself.

[Parky Carcass]

Well, I'll still bet he can't answer some of his own questions.

[Al Jolson]

I guess Pocky hasn't much faith in you, Professor.

[Professor Quiz]

Nevertheless, I think that I can answer any question that I ask myself.

[Al Jolson]

All right.

[Parky Carcass]

Well, here goes. Professor, have you ever seen a whole dog in the ground by a rabbit?

[Professor Quiz]

Yes.

[Parky Carcass]

How does the little rabbits ever dig the holes without leaving any dirt around the top?

[Professor Quiz]

Now just a moment. That's not my question, Paki. That's yours. You answer it.

[Parky Carcass]

Well, it's easy. You see, they begin at the bottom and they dig up.

[Professor Quiz]

Ah, yes, but how do they get to the bottom in the first place?

[Parky Carcass]

Ah, that's your question. You answer it, Professor.

[Lud Gluskin]

Oh boy, I'm lucky. I say I'm lucky. This is my lucky day.

[Al Jolson]

Well, Tiny, how is the four leaf clover visit, old boy?

[Tiny Buckner]

Well, it's a landslide alone. The way those requests have been pouring in, it looks as if Dame Luck is mighty popular with a lot of people. I know I feel luckier with a real four leaf clover in my pocket.

[Al Jolson]

Same here, Tiny. Why don't you remind the folks about the offer while I check over the lyrics of my next song.

[Tiny Buckner]

All right, Al. Well, friends, the supply is limited. And that's why I want to tell you that this may be your last chance to get your real four leaf clover in a gold colored case. The case itself is about the size of a silver dollar, just right for a pocket piece. Each one has a little loop on it so that the girls can wear theirs on a ribbon as a locket. The men can slip theirs on their watch chains. Now pressed under an unbreakable crystal is an honest to goodness four leaf clover, specially treated so it'll stay bright and fresh looking indefinitely.

[Al Jolson]

Now then, how about it?

[Tiny Buckner]

Don't you want one of these four leaf clovers too? Make a grand present for your sweetheart or for a friend to whom you wish good luck.

[Al Jolson]

Well, all right.

[Tiny Buckner]

Send for yours tonight or tomorrow. Just send your name and address together with 15 cents in coin. Now no stamps please. And three lifebuoy box fronts, not the whole carton. To Lifebuoy, box 7, New York City. I'm going to repeat those directions. Send them to Lifebuoy, box seven, New York City, enclosing 15 cents and three Lifebuoy box spots. Now, if you happen to live in Canada, listen carefully. Here's what you do.

[Al Jolson]

There.

[Tiny Buckner]

Address Lifebuoy in care of the station to which you are listening. And enclose 20 sets, two dimes with three lifebuoy box fronts to cover costs, duty, postage and handling. All right, Mr. Jolson, stage is all yours.

[Al Jolson]

Thank you. Some of the finest music in this land of ours can be found in the Negro spirituals. I've admired these songs ever since I was a boy down in Alexander, Virginia, where I first heard them. Tonight, I'd like to sing a different type of spiritual. A song written by one of the greatest songwriters of our day, Irving Caesar. The name of the song is oh, what A Day that Will Be.

[Lud Gluskin]

The colored man sings a spiritual when he has feelings. Now the white man too needs a spiritual.

[Al Jolson]

Cause things are going bad. So sing.

[Lud Gluskin]

Brother. Oh, what a day that'll be when trouble and woe blow out to the sea when nations say no, no, no the last was the last time Let war be a pastime for the devil be low oh, oh, what a day that will be when bugles that blow Blow in sweet harmony but when we find nations walking hand in hand in every land's the promised land oh, what a day that'll be oh, what a day that'll be be when trouble and woe blow out to the sea when nations say no, no, no the last was the last time Let war be a pastime for the devil below what a day that'll be the day that we know the whole world is free and when there is peace on earth to every man in Europe, China and Japan oh, what a day that'll be.

[Al Jolson]

Thank you, folks. We have only a few seconds left, but I want to express our appreciation of our guests here tonight. Lorena, the Merry Max and Professor Quiz. It was a pleasure having them. It's been swell being here in New York, but our visit is over. We're heading home right after the broadcast there. So next week we will come over this network from Hollywood. I hope you'll be listening because Mar will be back with us. In addition to Parky Carcass and L. Glutkin's orchestra, our special guest star will be that fine Russian screen comedian, Misha Hour. Good night, everybody, and thank you for listening.

[Tiny Buckner]

I'd like to take this opportunity, ladies and gentlemen, to thank again Professor Quiz, who's with us through the courtesy of Noxima. I'd like also to thank Sam Goldwyn for his courtesy in allowing Vera Zarina to appear with us on our Jolson show this evening. This is Tiny Buckner speaking. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.