Alan Young Show 441003 xxx Harriett Hatch {AFRS}_OTRRPG

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio — Alan Young Show 441003 with Harriett Hatch (AFRS)

Date: March 6, 2026
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Episode: Alan Young Show 441003 with Harriett Hatch

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Overview

This episode transports listeners to the Golden Age of Radio with a classic installment of The Alan Young Show. The episode features comedy sketches, witty banter, and musical interludes centered around Alan Young and recurring character Harriet Hatch, with supporting performances by singing star Diane Courtney and the loveably deadpan Mr. Breenbacher. The central theme of the episode revolves around Harriet Hatch’s attempts to interview Alan Young about his life, which leads to a series of comedic anecdotes skewering everything from childhood to radio show business.

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Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. The Phonograph Gag: Alan Young Meets Mr. Holton

• [00:39-01:41]
  The episode opens with playful meta-humor about the recording of radio broadcasts:

  • Mr. Holton, from the "Ajax Phonograph Record Company," offers to record Alan’s show for posterity.
  • The repetitive speech gag ("some of the biggest...") leads Alan to joke about his “Adam's apple” getting caught—setting the screwball comedic tone.

  Notable Quote:

  • Alan Young: “Wait a second. Your Adam's apple is caught in your dickey. Now start again and take it easy.” (00:52)

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2. Enter Harriet Hatch: An Ironic Interviewer

• [02:09-04:33]
  Harriet Hatch, a parody of 1940s radio hosts, is introduced with catchphrases and enthusiasm:

  • She hosts “Harriet Hatch and Her Newsy Nugget for Happy Housewives.”
  • She promotes "Mother Magruder’s Chocolate Covered Meatballs," which Alan dubs (facetiously) as “delicious” and notes “they melt right in your pocket.”
  • Hatch asks for Alan’s "life story," leading to a running joke where she manipulates facts for her audience’s applause.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Harriet Hatch: “I love to hear applause.” (04:18)
  • Alan Young: “Lots of foods contain iron. But these are the only meatballs that contain stainless steel.” (03:16)

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3. Song Performance: "The Trolley Song" by Diane Courtney

• [04:53-07:28]
  Diane Courtney delivers a charming rendition of "The Trolley Song," providing a classic musical interlude characteristic of 1940s variety shows.

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4. Alan’s "Life Story": Sparring with Harriet Hatch

• [08:50-15:20]
  The comic heart of the episode unfolds as Alan recounts a farcical version of his biography for Harriet:

  • Childhood Antics: Alan claims to have a twin sister "eight years older" than himself.
  • Poverty Jokes: Recalls his father blowing smoke up the chimney to "make neighbors think we had coal."
  • First Love: Describes Bertha, "tall and willowy" with "skin like the bark of a tree."
  • First Pair of Long Pants: Recalls the rite of passage, with Mr. Breenbacher delivering dry, sarcastic advice at the department store.

  Memorable Moments:

  • Alan Young: "My father would stand by the furnace hour after hour, blowing cigar smoke up the chimney to make our neighbors think we had coal." (09:09)
  • Mr. Breenbacher: "When I was your age, I was 20." (10:00)
  • Alan Young: "The pants legs are kind of tight. I can't get my feet into them."
    Mr. Breenbacher: "Grease your ankles." (14:41)

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5. More Musical Entertainment: "I’ll Walk Alone" by Diane Courtney

• [15:55-18:38]
  Another signature performance by Diane Courtney, anchoring the show in the tradition of live music.

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6. Alan Young’s Rise in Radio: Satire on Broadcasting Careers

• [18:43-27:19]
  Alan humorously narrates his path through radio:

  • First Jobs: "Littles Tinker" in the control room, leading to a network audition.
  • Spoof Shows: Parody segments including "Young Dr. Young" (a tongue-twister medical drama), "Sheriff Young" (western lawman), and "Happy Kitty Hour" (children's show with the infamous "Bon Schnoooks Lollipops" that "didn’t do so good").
  • Comedy Breakthrough: Alan finally secures a comedy spot after blackmailing a radio executive with embarrassing memory.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Alan Young (on his family): “The Youngs were a proud lot, but they were a vegan lot. The day I became 21, I realized it was time for me to go to work. After all, I couldn't make adolescence my career.” (18:43)
  • Alan Young: "The story of young Dr. Young. Young Dr. Young." (21:39)
  • Alan Young (Happy Kitty Hour): “Remember, Bom Schnooks is the only lollipop that is guaranteed to make a sucker out of you.” (24:18)

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7. Song Performance: "Just One of Those Things" by Diane Courtney

• [28:16-31:37]
  The episode is rounded out with another musical number, a last note of elegance and nostalgia.

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8. Closing Thanks

• [31:37] Alan thanks the cast and audience:
  • “On behalf of Diane, Ken, Peter and myself, in fact all of us, we want to thank you for being with us tonight.”

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps and Speakers)

• Alan Young: “Wait a second. Your Adam's apple is caught in your dickey. Now start again and take it easy.” (00:52)
• Harriet Hatch: “I love to hear applause.” (04:18)
• Alan Young: “My father would stand by the furnace hour after hour, blowing cigar smoke up the chimney to make our neighbors think we had coal.” (09:09)
• Mr. Breenbacher: “When I was your age, I was 20.” (10:00)
• Alan Young: “Remember, Bom Schnooks is the only lollipop that is guaranteed to make a sucker out of you.” (24:18)
• Alan Young: “After all, I couldn't make adolescence my career.” (18:45)
• Mr. Breenbacher: “No, nausea.” (13:33)

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Summary Flow & Tone

• The entire episode is suffused with quick-witted banter, meta-comedy, and gentle 1940s satire, keeping a lively, self-aware pace.
• Musical numbers by Diane Courtney provide nostalgic warmth and contrast to the humor.
• Alan Young’s self-deprecating storytelling and caricatured cast evoke the welcoming and communal spirit of classic radio, inviting audiences to laugh at the absurdities of everyday life and show business alike.

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Conclusion

This Alan Young Show episode is a sparkling example of vintage radio variety, mixing tongue-in-cheek storytelling, affectionate mockery of radio tropes, and musical entertainment. Harriet Hatch’s persistent interviewing and Alan’s resistive, joke-laden autobiography thread the episode, while supporting skits and songs round out a family-friendly, laughter-rich listening experience.

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Transcript

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[Mr. Breenbacher]

The Alan Young show, Featuring our singing star, Diane Courtney, the music of Peter

[Alan Young]

Van Steeden, and starring Alan Young. Well, let's get started with the program. First, I want to have a whole bunch of. Come in if you're funny. Mr. Young, I'm Leonard T. Holton of the Ajax Phonograph Record Company. Since this is your first broadcast of your new series, perhaps you'd like to have a phonograph record made of it. Oh, do you make phonograph records of radio broadcasts? Why, certainly. We've made phonograph records for some of the biggest. Some of the biggest. Some of the biggest. Some of the biggest. Some of the biggest. Some of the biggest. Mr. Hool. Some of the biggest. Wait a second. Your Adam's apple is caught in your dickey. Now start again and take it easy. Well, as I was saying, we've made phonograph records for some of the greatest radio stars like Kate Smith, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Dinah Shore, Charlie McCarthy, Lowell Thomas, Eddie Kal. Wait a second. Let me wind you up here. Ray C. Allen, Ed Gardner, Lawrence Tippet, Ed Winnon, and hundreds of other famous radio stars. Why, we've made records of.

[Diane Courtney]

Ow, ow, ow.

[Alan Young]

Mr. Houlton, what happened? The needle reached the end. Good day, Mr. Yonk. That guy's whole family's been in the phonograph business. When he was a baby, his mother bought him an automatic changer. But. Now to get back to my program, the first thing I want to do is get a. Come in.

[Harriet Hatch]

Hello, Mr. Young. I'm so glad to see you. I am, I am, I am.

[Alan Young]

Well, sit down, sit down, sit down. I think I know you. I've seen your picture someplace.

[Diane Courtney]

Really?

[Harriet Hatch]

Where?

[Alan Young]

On a bottle of iodine.

[Harriet Hatch]

Oh, Mr. Young, you're so droll. You are, you are, you are.

[Alan Young]

Gee, I like the way you talk. One early show and two repeats for the West Coast. What's your name again?

[Diane Courtney]

Harriet Hatch.

[Alan Young]

Harriet Hatch from the booby of the same name?

[Harriet Hatch]

No, Mr. Young, I have my own little Program on this network. Harriet Hatch and Her Newsy Nugget for Happy Housewives.

[Alan Young]

Oh, that's a great program. I understand that over 50% of your listeners are people.

[Harriet Hatch]

Yes, yes, it's a lovely program, dear boy. And it's sponsored by the makers of Mother Magruder's Chocolate Covered Meatballs.

[Alan Young]

Oh, yeah, I know. Mother Magruder's Chocolate Covered Meatballs. They're delicious. They melt right in your pocket.

[Harriet Hatch]

But that isn't all. Lots of foods contain iron. But these are the only meatballs that contain stainless steel. Here, try one, won't you?

[Alan Young]

No, thanks.

[Harriet Hatch]

Oh, I insist, I insist, I insist.

[Alan Young]

Oh, all right, all right, all right, fine.

[Harriet Hatch]

Just pop it into your mouth.

[Diane Courtney]

That's it.

[Harriet Hatch]

Now swallow it.

[Alan Young]

Gee, if it hit all my ribs, my eyes would light up. Now, Miss Hatch, if you'll excuse me, I have to do a few things.

[Harriet Hatch]

Ms. Young, I want you to do a guest appearance on my program. I promised my listeners that I'd bring them your life story.

[Alan Young]

Oh, my life hasn't been very interesting.

[Harriet Hatch]

Oh, yes, it has. I already know a few things about you. For instance, do you listeners know that today is Alan Young's birthday?

[Alan Young]

Wait a minute, Ms. Hatch. Today isn't my birthday.

[Harriet Hatch]

I know.

[Alan Young]

Well, then why do you say it is?

[Harriet Hatch]

I love to hear applause. And now I'll run out and get a pad and pencil. And then you must tell me everything about yourself. You must, you must, you must.

[Alan Young]

Kenny, what did I let myself in for? That woman's gonna take up the rest of the program interviewing me.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Oh, she can't, Alan. She can't. She can't. And now, ladies and gentlemen, here's our charming singing star, Diane Courtney, to sing for us the Trolley Song.

[Diane Courtney]

With my high starched collar and my high top shoes and my hair piled high upon my head I went to lose a jolly hour on the trolley and lost my heart instead with this light brown derby and his bright green tie he was quite the handsomest of men I started to yell so I counted to 10 then I counted to 10 again. Clang, clang, clang went the trolley Ding, ding, ding went the bell Ding, ding, zing went my heartstrings for the moment I saw him I fell Chug, chug, chug went the motor Bump, bump, bump went the brake Thump, thump, thump went my heartstrings when he smiled I could feel the car Sh. He sniffed his hat and took a seat he said he hoped he hadn't stepped upon my feet he asked my name I held my breath I couldn't speak because he scared me half to death. Buzz, buzz, buzz went the buzzer Plop, plop, plop went the wheel Stop, stop, stop went my heartstring. As he started to leave, I took hold of his sleeve with my hand and as if it were planned he stayed on with me and it was grand just to stand with his hand holding Min to the end of all.

[Alan Young]

That was fine. Diane, you're a wonderful singer, and I want you to feel it. From now on, you're one of the family on our show.

[Diane Courtney]

Oh, that's very sweet of you, Alan.

[Alan Young]

Oh, not at all. And by the way, I guess you'll never dream that while you were out here singing, I'd fill your dressing room full of orchids and gardenias. Well, yes, I didn't. Now, if there's anything else I can do for you, I'll be pleased.

[OnDeck Advertiser]

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[Safeway/Albertsons Announcer]

Safeway and Albertsons have made saving easier than ever with great savings on family favorites this week. 16 ounce sweet strawberries are two for $5 member price. And don't miss the incredible deal on Signature Select Boneless skinless chicken breasts packs for $2.97 per pound limit. One plus medium avocados or mangoes are five for $5 member price. Fresh and delicious savings for every meal. Hurry in. These deals won't last. Visit Safeway or albertsons.com for more deals and ways to save.

[Harriet Hatch]

Are you ready to tell me your life story?

[Alan Young]

Oh, it's you, Ms. Hatch. I thought you went out to have your bustle retreaded. Now, where should I begin my life story? At the beginning, I guess. Well, I was born in 1920, the year of the Great Depression.

[Harriet Hatch]

There was no depression in 1920.

[Alan Young]

There was in my house. When they saw me. Everybody was depressed. But to continue, not many people know this, but I have a twin sister. She's eight years older than I am.

[Harriet Hatch]

Well, Mr. Young, how could she be eight years older than you are?

[Alan Young]

She forced herself, but to return to my childhood. We were very Poor in those days, Ms. Hatch. I remember my father would stand by the furnace hour after hour, blowing cigar smoke up the chimney to make your neighbors think we had coal. Oh, my father. I'll never forget the day he called me into his room and said to me, hello, son. Hello, Dad. I always called him dad as a mark of respect. After all, he was old enough to be my father. What is it, dad? Son, I want to have a little

[Mr. Breenbacher]

chat with you, man to man.

[Alan Young]

How old are you, son? 17.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

17? My, my.

[Alan Young]

When I was your age, I was 20. Well, Ms. Hatch, obviously there was nothing left for me to do but leave home. So I packed my shirt, my tie and my 300 Tommy Dorsey records, and I went out into the world. It was then that I met Bertha.

[Harriet Hatch]

A girl.

[Alan Young]

How many boys do you know named Bertha? What a girl. She was tall and willowy. Willowy? She had skin like the bark of a tree. I love Bertha, even though she had a broken nose by a previous marriage. But our romance soon came to an end.

[Harriet Hatch]

Oh, Mr. Young, that's a sad story. My heart goes out to you.

[Alan Young]

Ah, put it back. Oh, I see. Oh, I'm sorry, but. But life wasn't all Sadness and tears, Ms. Hatch. One day a bright note crept in. That was it. I was 23 years old. Time for my first pair of long pants. And do you know. Do you know where I bought them? Where? I put on my beanie and my Barbie socks and hurried right down to Breen Bracker's Department store. Oh, Mr. Brienbacher. Mr. Brienbracker.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Oh, here I am. You would have to walk in now.

[Alan Young]

Were you doing something important, Mr. Brienbracker?

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Yes, and I was in the back of the store taping up an old bat.

[Alan Young]

You were?

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Yes. My wife's always spraining her ankle. What do you want?

[Alan Young]

Well, Mr. Beenbragger, I'm 23 years old today, and I'm gonna buy something that'll change the whole course of my life. Guess what?

[Mr. Breenbacher]

A new ribbon for your midi blouse.

[Alan Young]

Don't be silly, Mr. Beanbragger. I don't wear a midi blouse. I'm a man.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Don't say that so loud. You'll discourage the rest of our sex. Now, do you want to buy something or can I go back and finish ironing my snuggies?

[Alan Young]

Well, I'm Gonna buy something, Mr. Greenbacker. Today I'm gonna buy my first pair of long pants.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Goody. Next thing you know, you'll be going out with girls.

[Alan Young]

I'm not interested in girls.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Would you say that again.

[Alan Young]

I said I'm not interested in girls.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Blondie, I want to have a little talk with you. Sit down.

[Alan Young]

All right.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Did you ever see a copy of Esquire?

[Alan Young]

Certainly. Well, they have some very interesting articles.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

The interview's over,

[Alan Young]

Mr. Breenbacker. What are you trying to tell me?

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Forget it. I'm a very busy man today. I'm painting my wife's picture.

[Alan Young]

Gee, I didn't know you were an artist.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

I'm not.

[Alan Young]

But you said you were painting your wife's picture.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

I'm painting it black. I can't stand the sight of her nosy. Wait. Let's get back to the subject of girls again. Kid, do you know about the birds and the bees?

[Alan Young]

What have they got to do with anything?

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Oh, I'm cheating some psychiatrist out of a good case. Something. Let me put it this way. When I was your age, I'd never gone out with girls either. But then one day I met my wife, Emily, and a strange feeling came over me.

[Alan Young]

Love?

[Mr. Breenbacher]

No, nausea.

[Alan Young]

Well, how did you happen to marry her, Mr. Beanbagger?

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Just one of those things, kid. We went around with each other for a while, and then one night I proposed to her in a garage and I couldn't back out.

[Alan Young]

That's very interesting, Mr. Beanbacher, but I came in here for a pair of long pants.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Oh, okay. Come on into the pants department.

[Alan Young]

Gee, Mr. Greenbracker, this window here looks out onto your backyard, doesn't it?

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Don't lean out of that window, kid. The pulley's broken and the window's liable to come down on your head.

[Alan Young]

Oh, it's perfectly safe. I want to look out and see your garden.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Don't stick your head out of there. That window will fall down and fracture your skull.

[Alan Young]

Don't be silly. How can a big window like this fall down when it's fast?

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Oh, I'm glad. Now, come on over here and look at these pants here. Here's a pair that'll just fit you.

[Alan Young]

Gee, they're nice. How much are they?

[Mr. Breenbacher]

They're $139.

[Alan Young]

Gee, the pants legs are kind of tight. I can't get my feet into them.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Grease your ankles.

[Alan Young]

Now, this. This pair over here looks better. I'll take these.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

They're $18.

[Alan Young]

I'll take them.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Don't make up your mind right away. Go home and talk it over with your patrol leader.

[Alan Young]

You don't have to talk it over with anybody. I'll take these. Wrap them up.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Okay. Here you are. And I hope you're happy with them. Gee, I'll never forget my first pair of long pants. They were purple with light green stripes and 4 inch cuffs. The minute I walked out of the house, everybody started laughing. Why, I forgot to put them on.

[Alan Young]

Oh, good day, Mr. Brady. Good day, Mr. Young. And that penny, was my first meeting with Mr. Breenbacher. And you know, to this day, he never wants to sell me anything.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Well, that's certainly a switch. Most shopkeepers are anxious to sell their stuff when they have it.

[Alan Young]

Not Mr. Breenbacker. Why, he wouldn't even sell me a ferry boat.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Well, how do you know he has a ferry boat?

[Alan Young]

He must have. Last time I saw him, his slip was showing.

[Diane Courtney]

I'll walk alone because to tell you the truth I belong I don't mind being lonely when my heart tells me you are lonely too I'll walk alone they'll ask me far and I'll tell them I'd prefer you There are dreams I must gather Dreams Weak passion for mine to help me Tight I'll always be nearing you Wherever you are each night in every prayer if you call I hear you no matter how far Just close your eyes and I'll be there Please walk alone and send your love and your kisses to guide me Till you're walking beside me I walk alone. I'll always be near you Wherever you are each night in every breath if you call I hear you no matter how far Just close your eyes and I'll be there Please walk alone and send your love and your kisses to guide me to your walking beside me I walked

[Harriet Hatch]

well, Mr. Young, let's continue with your life story. You won't tell me more about your background?

[Alan Young]

All right, Ms. Hatch. There weren't any brilliant minds in my family. The Youngs were a proud lot, but they were a vegan lot. The day I became 21, I realized it was time for me to go to work. After all, I couldn't make adolescence my career. I decided to go into radio. My first job was with a local station in town. This station was owned by Mr. Littles. And Mr. Littles used to let me tinker around in the control room. Littles. Tinker, the boys used to call me. Then I decided to try to get a job with one of the networks. Gee, what a big radio station this is. I wonder where I go to get a job. There's so many doors. Let's see the signs on these doors. Technical men. Control men. Production men. Men. What's this next one? Audition room. I'll go and see if I can get myself an audition?

[Mr. Breenbacher]

I'm busy.

[Alan Young]

Whatever it is, slip it under the door. Okay. It was a tight squeeze, but I made it. Well, what can I do for you, sir? I'm a comedian. I'd like to get a program of my own.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

All right. Step over to the microphone and tell me a joke.

[Alan Young]

Well, gee, gosh, I don't know.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Oh, my boy. Don't be nervous. I'm your friend. We need comedians. I want you to succeed.

[Diane Courtney]

I want.

[OnDeck Advertiser]

On Deck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team, or bridging cash flow, gaps On Deck's loans up to $400,000. Make it happen fast. Rated A by the Better Business Bureau and earning thousands of five star trust pilot reviews, Ondeck delivers funding you can count on. Apply in [e-mail] depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtic Bank. Ondeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

[Safeway/Albertsons Announcer]

Safeway and Albertsons have made saving easier than ever with great savings on family favorites this week. 16 ounce sweet straw strawberries are two for $5 member price. And don't miss the incredible deal on signature. Select boneless skinless chicken breast value packs for 2.97 per pound limit. One plus medium avocados or mangoes are five for $5 member price. Fresh and delicious savings for every meal. Hurry in. These deals won't last. Visit Safeway or albertsons.com for more deals and ways to save to help you.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Want to give you everything, every chance in the world. Now go ahead, tell your joke.

[Alan Young]

Well, it seems that Pat met Mike one day.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Trusting soul, wasn't he?

[Alan Young]

Well, Ms. Hatch, I finally talked him into giving me a job. The leading role in the station's most popular dramatic program. What a show that was. It was called Young Dr. Young. The thrilling story of a young doctor named Young Dr. Young, played by Young Dr. Young, who was a doctor and young Doctor. Which was why they called the story of young Dr. Young. Young Dr. Young.

[Harriet Hatch]

How did that go again?

[Alan Young]

It doesn't make any difference. In the radio section of the newspaper, the program was listed as racing results. Oh, that first episode. I'll never forget it presenting another thrilling

[Mr. Breenbacher]

chapter in that exciting dramatic serial, Young Dr. Young. As the story opens, we find Young Dr. Young in the hospital corridor calling Dr. Young.

[Harriet Hatch]

Calling Dr. Young. You should hear what they're calling Dr. Young. Dr. Young wasn't in the operating room.

[Alan Young]

Come, nurse. We're needed in the operating room. Nurse, quick, get me Some hot water and a towel.

[Harriet Hatch]

Are you going to operate, Doctor?

[Alan Young]

No, I'm going to take a bath.

[Harriet Hatch]

But Doctor, the operation.

[Alan Young]

I'm ready. Are you ready? Scalpel. Scalpel. Sponge.

[Diane Courtney]

Sponge.

[Alan Young]

Forceps.

[Diane Courtney]

Forceps.

[Alan Young]

Suture.

[Diane Courtney]

Suture.

[Alan Young]

Nurse.

[Diane Courtney]

Yes?

[Alan Young]

Where's the patient? Miss Hatch, as you can readily see, I was making wonderful progress in radio. And I went on from that serial to a big detective program in which I played the part of a famous law enforcement officer. Sheriff Young. Ladies and gentlemen, here is Sheriff Young to tell us about another of his famous cases.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Sheriff Young, what would you say was the most exciting case in your career?

[Alan Young]

Well, partner, I remember a case I broke when I was a member of the Texas Rangers. It all started in little border town one night it was raining and down by the railroad station. That man is now in prison for life.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Thank you, Sheriff Young.

[Alan Young]

After that, they gave me an even bigger program. You may have heard it. The Happy Kitty Hour. Thank you. Good morning, kitties. This is your happy Uncle Allen. My, what a big spitball. Well, anyway, kiddies, this is your Uncle Allen. All right, all right. You just bet you Uncle Allen is brought to you by the makers of bomb schnooks lollipops 99 and 44, 100% thick. In a scientific laboratory test against seven other leading brands. Bomb Schnooks didn't do so good. Remember, Bomb Schnooks is the only lollipop that is guaranteed to make a sucker out of you. And Bombahnooks come in three handy sizes all day, half day and quick drool. And don't forget, all Bombsnooks Lollipops are pre licked kitties. Just remember to eat Bombsnooks Lollipops and grow up to be a great big. Now, kitties, it's time to. It's now time for our mailbag. The first letter here is from little Rodney O. Droopenflock. Uncle Allen is very glad to learn that you've been killing all those rats at the city dump, Rodney. But there's really no need to mail them all in to Uncle Allen. And now to get on with the program, here's our first little guest. And what is your name? Sunny Norman Didn't Feffer. Norman Ditton Feer. Norman, will you tell all the mummies and daddies listening in what you think of Uncle Allen's radio program? Can I ask you a question? Yes. What does an elephant do with its trunk? It smells. Oh, I see. Well, Norman, for your bright answer, Uncle Allen is going to give you a Bomb Schnooks Lollipop. Stand right up here at the microphone and show everybody how much you enjoy eating it. Go ahead. Lick the lollipop. Yes, sir. Well, don't stand around everybody. Let's bury the kid. Well, Ms. Hatch, so far in my radio career I have done everything but comedy. Now I suppose you want to know how I got one of my first comedy programs. Well, it happened this way. It was in the year 1938, almost two years ago now. I went up. I went up to an office one day and knocked at the door. Mr. Grotney, my name is Alan Young. I'd like to do a program for you people.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Get out.

[Alan Young]

But Mr. Grotney.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Get out of here, you stupid, fish

[Alan Young]

faced, hammerheaded, moronic, undernourished idiot. Undernourished? Mr. Grotney, I want to go on the air for you.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Do you think that we give programs

[Alan Young]

out to any jerk that walks into this office? Mr. Grothney, were you in Hackensack, New Jersey in April 19th? Do you think we give valuable air time? Hackensack, April 1941.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

Why, yes.

[Alan Young]

Remember that red headed manicurist named Gladys? Starting tomorrow you have your own program. And good luck to you, my boy. Good night. Lovers of Static.

[Diane Courtney]

It was just one of those things Just one of those crazy things One of those but now and then rings Just one of those things it was just one of those nights Just one of those fabulous flag A trip to the moon on Gossamer Just one of those things if we thought a bit of the end of it when we started painting the tongue we'd have been aware that our love is bad Once you have oh, goodbye dear and amen here's hoping we meet now and then it was great fun but it was just one of those things

[Alan Young]

if we

[Diane Courtney]

thought a bit of the end of it when we started painting in the town we'd have been aware but our love affair was too high not to be dark. It was great for me Good. It was just one of those things Just one of those One of those Wonderful.

[Alan Young]

Friends. On behalf of Diane, Ken, Peter and myself, in fact all of us, we want to thank you for being with us tonight.

[Mr. Breenbacher]

This is the armed forces radio service.

[Diane Courtney]

Sam.

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