Aldrich Family 48-11-25 (439) Thanksgiving Dance and Turkey Run

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold’s Old Time Radio

Episode: Aldrich Family 48-11-25 (439) Thanksgiving Dance and Turkey Run
Date Aired: November 14, 2025
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Featured Show: The Aldrich Family (starring Ezra Stone as Henry and Jackie Kelk as Homer)
Setting: Central High School and the Aldrich family home, the day before Thanksgiving

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode is a classic Golden Age radio comedy focusing on the Aldrich family's chaotic preparations for Thanksgiving, culminating in a series of humorous misadventures involving a school dance, a turkey run, and an unexpectedly colorful duck. At its heart, the episode explores youthful enthusiasm clashing with reality, family dynamics, and well-intentioned plans going awry, all with a holiday twist.

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Key Discussion Points & Storylines

1. The School Thanksgiving Dance Committee

• Opening Scene:
  The student committee is dismayed they've only sold 20 tickets for the Thanksgiving dance.
  • Henry proposes drastic measures to boost sales, including teacher-mandated detention for students who don’t buy tickets.
    • Memorable Quote:
      • “I say let’s get Ms. Eggleston to give everyone who doesn’t buy a ticket a detention.” – Henry (01:40)
      • “That’s against the Bill of Rights.” – Homer (01:50)
  • Henry's wild solution: spike interest with a "turkey run," where a live turkey is released and whoever catches it gets to keep it.
    • Memorable Quote:
      • “Let’s climax our dance tonight with a good old fashioned turkey run. And we’ll sell every ticket we’ve got.” – Henry (03:04)

2. The Problem with the Turkey

• At home, the family debates what to do with an unruly live turkey sent by Uncle John.
  • Mary refuses to fetch clothespins from the garage, fearing the turkey, who is described as mean and sneaky.
    • Memorable Quote:
      • “He tried to bite me. I’ve never seen anything so sneaky in all my life!” – Mary (04:13)
  • The adults consider giving the turkey away, ultimately deciding to donate it to Mrs. Dixon, a less fortunate neighbor.
    • Memorable Quote:
      • “What better time is there for sharing what you have than Thanksgiving?” – Alice (05:17)

3. Henry’s Plan Collapses

• Henry brags to his mother about selling the turkey for $5 to fund the dance’s turkey run, only to discover his father is already giving it away to Mrs. Dixon.
  • Memorable Quote:
    • “Mother, whoever heard of a wiener run?” – Henry (07:11)
• Desperate, Henry buys a duck, Felix, for the turkey run (for $5), rationalizing that duck is “cuter” and a novel alternative to the usual turkey.
  • Memorable Quote:
    • “Every year it’s the same old thing for Thanksgiving. Turkey, turkey, turkey. Don’t you think they’ll enjoy the novelty of eating a duck instead?” – Henry (08:54)

4. Duck on the Loose

• Chaos erupts as Felix the duck escapes in Central High, leaving colorful tracks, disrupting classes, and causing havoc:
  • Felix ends up in art class, painting with his feet, and later in a tuba during orchestra practice.
  • Feathered mayhem spreads to the principal’s office, where multicolored feathers fly out of a fan.
    • Memorable Quote:
      • “You know that fan in his office? ...Some wise guy threw a whole bunch of feathers in it. And, boy, you should see the place.” – Charlie Clark (12:49)
• Henry and Homer frantically try to catch Felix before the principal, Mr. Bradley, finds him.
  • Memorable Quote:
    • “A school is no place for flying around.” – Henry (12:16)

5. Farce with the Turkey at the Butcher

• Simultaneously, Sam Aldrich struggles to find someone willing to kill and dress the turkey for Mrs. Dixon’s family, facing humorous obstacles as the butcher refuses to help, not wanting to dirty his clean floors.

6. The Duck Run Backfires

• Anticipation for the turkey run grows, but when it’s revealed to be a duck, mayhem ensues:
  • Students chase the duck through the cafeteria, under tables, and even end up under the teachers’ lunch table, earning the principal’s ire.
  • Eventually, the school has to postpone the dance due to exhaustion from the chaotic “duck run.”
    • Memorable Quote:
      • “The student body’s so worn out, they’re in no shape to dance. ...From sort of a duck run we had in school today. So we decided to postpone the dance until Christmas.” – Henry (23:09)

7. Full-Circle Turkey Troubles

• In a twist ending, Mrs. Dixon calls to say her family found Felix the duck at school and no longer needs the turkey, offering the Aldrich family their original turkey back.
  • Memorable Quote:
    • “My children found a lovely duck in school today.” – Mrs. Dixon (24:25)
    • “He’s a wonderful bird, Mr. Aldrich. All you have to do is kill him.” – Mrs. Dixon (24:45)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

School Committee Mayhem:

• “The Bill of Rights. Homer, show me one place in the Bill of Rights where it mentions a detention.” – Henry (01:52)
• “I say give him a detention.” – Henry (02:03)

School Dance Innovations:

• “I say let’s climax our dance tonight with a good old fashioned turkey run.” – Henry (03:04)
• “That turkey, Mother.” – Mary (05:15)

Duck Debacles:

• “Mother, whoever heard of a wiener run?” – Henry (07:11)
• “Homer, a duck was all I could get for $5. Besides, Gee Whizzy’s much cuter than a turkey.” – Henry (08:20)
• “Well, a duck doesn’t run. It waddles.” – Homer (09:23)
• “There he goes under the next table.” – Henry (20:46)
• “Mr. Bradley, I know you won’t believe this, but I was really under the table on school business.” – Henry (21:23)

Turkey Back Where It Began:

• “My children found a lovely duck in school today… there’s no one I’d rather see have this turkey than you.” – Mrs. Dixon (24:33)
• “He’s a wonderful bird, Mr. Aldrich. All you have to do is kill him.” – Mrs. Dixon (24:45)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:09 – School committee debates how to sell more dance tickets.
• 03:04 – Henry suggests the turkey run.
• 04:11 – Family deals with the aggressive turkey at home.
• 06:11 – Henry tries to sell the dance committee on his turkey idea.
• 08:08 – Introduction of Felix the duck.
• 10:30 – Duck escapes into the school.
• 12:49 – Mr. Bradley’s office covered in feathers.
• 14:17 – Staff debate the presence of a duck in the school.
• 19:25 – Felix the duck found inside a tuba.
• 20:46 – Duck chase under cafeteria tables.
• 23:09 – Henry explains the postponement of the dance because of the “duck run.”
• 24:25 – Mrs. Dixon calls to return the turkey to the Aldriches, having found the duck.

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains a light-hearted, slapstick comedic tone, filled with classic radio patter, witty dialogue, and family-friendly humor reminiscent of the 1940s. The characters’ earnestness and escalating misunderstandings drive a flurry of situational comedy and physical humor, especially in the running (and waddling) gags involving the duck and turkey.

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In Summary

“Aldrich Family: Thanksgiving Dance and Turkey Run” is an uproarious, fast-paced adventure centered around well-meaning but doomed holiday plans. As Henry and his friends try to turn the school’s Thanksgiving dance into a unique event, they unwittingly unleash chaos, inviting audiences to laugh at misadventures both avian and human. The story comes full circle with everyone ending pretty much where they started—but now a little wiser and likely to think twice before trusting Henry with plans for the next school holiday!

Transcript

[Narrator]

The Aldrich Family. Based on characters originated by Clifford Goldsmith and starring Ezra Stone as Henry. With Jackie Kelk as Homer.

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Henry Aldrich. Coming, Mother.

[Narrator]

And now for the Aldrich Family. To an impulsive, wide awake teenage boy, each new day is like a surprise package. You open it and all sorts of excitements pop out. As Henry Aldrich knows only too well. The scene opens in a classroom of Central High School. It is the morning of the day before Thanksgiving.

[Henry Aldrich]

Madam Chairman.

[Mary Aldrich]

Order.

[Henry Aldrich]

Madam Chairman, Order.

[Mary Aldrich]

Let's have some parliamentary procedures now. Who wants the floor? I do. The chair recognizes Charlie Clark.

[Henry Aldrich]

Madam Chairman.

[Mary Aldrich]

Sit down, Henry. Okay, Charlie.

[Henry Aldrich]

Shoot.

[Charlie Clark]

Fellow committee members, I say the reason We've only sold 20 tickets for our Thanksgiving dance tonight is because we have an appeal to the school spirit of our class.

[Henry Aldrich]

We've got to make them realize Central.

[Charlie Clark]

High's counting on them to put their shoulder to the wheel and get out there and dance.

[Henry Aldrich]

And if that doesn't work, I say let's get Ms. Eggleston to give everyone who doesn't buy a ticket a detention. Madam Chairman.

[Mary Aldrich]

Madam Chairman, I object.

[Homer Brown]

That's against the Bill of Rights.

[Henry Aldrich]

The Bill of Rights. The Bill of Rights. Homer, show me one place in the Bill of Rights where it mentions a detention.

[Alice Aldrich]

It's there.

[Homer Brown]

Charlie, read between the lines. Read between the lines.

[Henry Aldrich]

Read between the lines yourself. I say give him a detention.

[Mary Aldrich]

In the future, kindly address your remarks to the chair.

[Homer Brown]

What chair?

[Henry Aldrich]

Me, Madam Chairman.

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry, I told you to sit down.

[Henry Aldrich]

But I've got a suggestion.

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry, every time you make a suggestion, it leads to trouble. Sit down.

[Homer Brown]

I make a motion, we hear Henry.

[Mary Aldrich]

Nobody seconds it.

[Homer Brown]

I'll second it.

[Henry Aldrich]

You can.

[Mary Aldrich]

Why not?

[Homer Brown]

It's my motion.

[Mary Aldrich]

Okay, but hurry it up, Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Thank you, Madam Chairman. Fellow members, I've been listening with a great deal of interest, pro and con. And I'm forced to ask myself, are we whistling up the wrong tree?

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry, stop dragging in trees and get to the point. What I mean is, every year we.

[Henry Aldrich]

Go to these Thanksgiving dances and what happens? That's a good question. I'm glad it was brought up. I'll tell you. I'd be glad to. Why do we? To dance?

[Mary Aldrich]

What else did you expect?

[Henry Aldrich]

I'm glad you asked. I say let's climax our dance tonight with a good old fashioned turkey run. And we'll sell every ticket we've got.

[Mary Aldrich]

A what run?

[Henry Aldrich]

A turkey run. Just when everybody's getting good and bored dancing with each other. We turn this 25 pound, milk fed, country raised turkey loose. And the one who catches them Keeps them.

[Mary Aldrich]

Oh, no. That's how. Why, if you think I'm gonna run after a turkey in my new dress, you're crazy, Agnes. Besides, we can't afford to give away a 25 pound turkey.

[Henry Aldrich]

That's just it. I know where we can lay our hands on a turkey for as little as $5.

[Homer Brown]

$5? Henry, do you realize what turkeys cost today?

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, there isn't a thing to worry about.

[Homer Brown]

You mean you've got a turkey up your sleeve?

[Henry Aldrich]

Madam Chairman.

[Mary Aldrich]

Madam Chairman.

[Henry Aldrich]

Madam Chairman. Sit down. I want the chair. Look at it.

[Mary Aldrich]

Mother. I don't care what you say. I'm not going in there again. He hates me.

[Alice Aldrich]

Now, Mary, calm down.

[Mary Aldrich]

But he does. The way he looks at me out of one eye. Mother, I've never seen anything so sneaky in all my life.

[Alice Aldrich]

But Mary, the wash has to be hung out.

[Mary Aldrich]

And I'll hang it, Mother. But someone else has to go into the garage for the clothespin.

[Alice Aldrich]

Mary, really, I'd hate to tell you where.

[Mary Aldrich]

He tried to bite me. He tried to bite you? My goodness.

[Sam Aldrich]

Goodbye, Alice. I'm leaving for the office.

[Mary Aldrich]

Sam, I'd like to speak to you first.

[Sam Aldrich]

Yes, Nothing wrong.

[Mary Aldrich]

Sam Aldrich.

[Alice Aldrich]

For the last time, he has to go.

[Sam Aldrich]

Who?

[Alice Aldrich]

You know very well who. That turkey your brother John sent us.

[Sam Aldrich]

Alice, he's a wonderful turkey. He's milk fed.

[Mary Aldrich]

Father, he couldn't possibly get that disposition from milk.

[Henry Aldrich]

Samuel.

[Alice Aldrich]

Just have to get rid of him.

[Sam Aldrich]

Alice, are you sure we can't use him for our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow?

[Mary Aldrich]

Now, dear, you know very well I.

[Alice Aldrich]

Have a clean, freshly dressed turkey in the refrigerator.

[Mary Aldrich]

Why not send him back to Uncle John?

[Sam Aldrich]

No, merry Mary. That would hurt his feelings.

[Mary Aldrich]

Uncle John's father. You can say anything to him. My goodness, the way we joke about his whole family.

[Sam Aldrich]

Mary, that's only his family. He's very sensitive about his turkeys.

[Alice Aldrich]

Sam, why not just give it to someone?

[Mary Aldrich]

That turkey, Mother.

[Henry Aldrich]

Who? Take it.

[Alice Aldrich]

Well, I'm sure there are many families in Centerville who aren't as fortunate as we are. And what better time is there for sharing what you have than Thanksgiving?

[Sam Aldrich]

Alice, that's an excellent idea. Why don't we give it to Mrs. Dixon?

[Alice Aldrich]

Of course, Sam. She has those three nice children to support.

[Sam Aldrich]

I'll drop the bird off at her house on my way to the office.

[Homer Brown]

Good.

[Alice Aldrich]

And be sure to put on your old clothes.

[Sam Aldrich]

What for, dear?

[Alice Aldrich]

That suit just came back from the cleaners. And I won't have you killing a turkey in it.

[Sam Aldrich]

Kill it? I.

[Alice Aldrich]

Now, Sam, don't tell Me? You're squeamish.

[Sam Aldrich]

Squeamish? Alice, don't be silly. It's just that.

[Henry Aldrich]

That.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, I don't have a good, sharp axe.

[Mary Aldrich]

How about a hammer? Mary, doesn't Will Brown have an axe?

[Sam Aldrich]

Yes. Yes, he does. I'll take the turkey right over to Will.

[Alice Aldrich]

I'll answer the phone.

[Sam Aldrich]

Mary, is the bird still tied in the garage?

[Mary Aldrich]

Yes, Father, but when you go in there, be careful you don't bend over. He's very unreliable.

[Henry Aldrich]

Hello. Hi, Mother. Mother, if you could think of the best news I could give you, what would you say it was?

[Mary Aldrich]

Let me see. The best news.

[Henry Aldrich]

Best news of all.

[Alice Aldrich]

You got an A in Latin.

[Henry Aldrich]

Latin, dear?

[Alice Aldrich]

I'm so proud of you.

[Henry Aldrich]

Mother, you're confusing the issue. What's Latin got to do with good news? Very well.

[Homer Brown]

I give up.

[Henry Aldrich]

I sold Uncle John's Turkey. What? For $5. Agnes was tough, but when I suggested she could change to dungarees for the excitement, she came around.

[Alice Aldrich]

Around the what?

[Henry Aldrich]

To a turkey run. To a turkey run with Uncle John's turkey.

[Alice Aldrich]

But, Henry, we don't have Uncle John's turkey anymore.

[Mary Aldrich]

What?

[Homer Brown]

You mean he escaped?

[Mary Aldrich]

No, dear.

[Alice Aldrich]

Your father's giving it away.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, gee whiz. Stop him, Mother. Stop him.

[Alice Aldrich]

Now, Henry, Mrs. Dixon and her family deserve a nice Thanksgiving just as much as any member of your class does.

[Henry Aldrich]

But, Mother, they've already paid me the $5. What can I tell them?

[Alice Aldrich]

Just explain that the turkey is for a very worthy cause and that there's no reason why they can't use something else.

[Henry Aldrich]

What, for instance? Well, wieners. Mother, whoever heard of a wiener run?

[Mary Aldrich]

But, dear.

[Henry Aldrich]

Get busy and dig up a turkey right away.

[Mary Aldrich]

Goodbye, Henry. Well, my goodness, Mother, you should have seen it. You should have seen it. Seen what? The turkey. He insisted on getting into the front seat with Father.

[Alice Aldrich]

Oh, my goodness.

[Mary Aldrich]

And you should have seen them driving down the street with the turkey trying to fly through the windshield. Oh, dear.

[Alice Aldrich]

Maybe I ought to have let that.

[Henry Aldrich]

Turkey go to Henry's dance after all. Homer, did anybody notice I wasn't in study period?

[Homer Brown]

No, but, Henry, you must have been out of your mind to buy a thing like that.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, you're upsetting Felix. Who?

[Alice Aldrich]

Felix the duck.

[Homer Brown]

He was born with a name like Felix.

[Henry Aldrich]

I don't know, but I had to call him something.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, how are you going to explain to the dance committee? They've already got signs up all over the school about having a turkey run.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, a duck was all I could get for $5. Besides, Gee Whizzy's, much cuter than a turkey.

[Homer Brown]

He is?

[Henry Aldrich]

Don't you think so?

[Homer Brown]

Well, hold him up so I can get a better look.

[Henry Aldrich]

There.

[Homer Brown]

Hello, Ducky Wucky. Henry. Smiling at me?

[Henry Aldrich]

How can you tell?

[Homer Brown]

By the look in his eyes. Nice, Ducky Wucky. You're right, Henry. He is cute.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure. And besides, we're doing whoever wins him a favor.

[Mary Aldrich]

How?

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee, every year it's the same old thing for Thanksgiving. Turkey, turkey, turkey. Don't you think they'll enjoy the novelty of eating a duck instead?

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry, quiet.

[Henry Aldrich]

What's wrong?

[Homer Brown]

Do you think you should discuss a thing like that in front of the duck?

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, gee whiz, I forgot. Open my locker for me, Homer.

[Homer Brown]

Okay, Henry, there's just one thing. Even if the committee says it's okay to have a duck run, how can you?

[Henry Aldrich]

What do you mean?

[Homer Brown]

Well, a duck doesn't run.

[Alice Aldrich]

It waddles. It what?

[Homer Brown]

Waddles, Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Waddles. Homer, you're crazy. A duck runs as well as the next person.

[Homer Brown]

How can it with its toes stuck together like that?

[Henry Aldrich]

Look, Homer, I'll put Felix down and show you. There. Now let's back away.

[Homer Brown]

You'll see.

[Henry Aldrich]

Here, Ducky Wucky.

[Mary Aldrich]

Here, Ducky Wucky.

[Henry Aldrich]

Look at him run.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, that's waddling if I ever saw it.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, boy. Homer. Homer. Where'd he disappear to?

[Homer Brown]

Right over the lockers. There he goes.

[Henry Aldrich]

Down the hall. After him, Homer. After him.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, what about my next class?

[Henry Aldrich]

Haven't you any school spirit? Our class has $5 tied up in that duck.

[Mary Aldrich]

Come on.

[Sam Aldrich]

How's it coming, Will you?

[Henry Aldrich]

Fine, Sam. Just a few more turns and it'll be sharp as a razor.

[Sam Aldrich]

Good.

[Henry Aldrich]

How did you dent your fender, Sam?

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, have you ever tried driving with a turkey in your lap?

[Henry Aldrich]

Look, Sam, he's apologizing. He's kind of a cute little fella. Hello, turkey worky. Look at him, Sam.

[Alice Aldrich]

He's smiling at me.

[Narrator]

Is that a smile?

[Henry Aldrich]

Of course. Well, there we are. Just feel the edge of this ax, Sam.

[Sam Aldrich]

That's fine, Will.

[Mary Aldrich]

Fine.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, go ahead, Will.

[Henry Aldrich]

Go ahead and what?

[Sam Aldrich]

Go ahead and use the axe.

[Alice Aldrich]

What?

[Henry Aldrich]

Nothing doing, Sam. Why me?

[Sam Aldrich]

It's your axe, Will.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure, but it's your turkey.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, I know how you hate to have other people use your tool.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sam, this is one time I don't mind. Now, Will.

[Homer Brown]

Now, Sam.

[Henry Aldrich]

Come on, Homer. The duck tracks go right around this corner. Oh, boy, look at them.

[Homer Brown]

Well, at least he's easy to follow.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, did you find out how Felix got into art class in the first place?

[Homer Brown]

Well, the Way I got it, they were painting this bowl of fruit, see? And the poor little fella must have been hungry. He was. But what happened after that is really Ms. Stewart's fault. If she hadn't let out a scream, Felix would never have flown into those paint jars.

[Henry Aldrich]

At least he could have picked out two jars of the same color.

[Mary Aldrich]

Look.

[Henry Aldrich]

Red and blue tracks all over the place.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, look. His tracks stop right in the middle of the hall.

[Mary Aldrich]

They can't.

[Henry Aldrich]

He couldn't disappear into thin air.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, that's it. What? He started to fly.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, a school is no place for flying around. There's only one thing to do. What? Go into the principal's office here and ask them if anyone's seen a duck.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, you're crazy.

[Henry Aldrich]

But Felix has to be caught before he does some real damage. Hey, fellas. Charlie Clark. Hiya, fellas.

[Charlie Clark]

Boy, the whole school sure talking about our turkey run.

[Henry Aldrich]

They are, Homer. You see, I've got to find them.

[Charlie Clark]

Find who?

[Henry Aldrich]

Wait here for me. Home.

[Homer Brown]

I wish you'd reconsider, Henry.

[Charlie Clark]

Henry isn't going into the main office, is he?

[Henry Aldrich]

Why not?

[Charlie Clark]

Well, gee, I was just in there. I've never seen Mr. Bradley so mad.

[Henry Aldrich]

What about?

[Charlie Clark]

Well, you know that fan in his office?

[Homer Brown]

Yeah.

[Charlie Clark]

Well, he had it going, see, and some wise guy threw a whole bunch of feathers in it. And, boy, you should see the place.

[Henry Aldrich]

Feathers, all different colors.

[Charlie Clark]

Mr. Bradley threatening to expel the kid who did it.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh.

[Mary Aldrich]

Oh, boy.

[Henry Aldrich]

Henry, where are you going? Homer, stop.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, before it's too late. Henry.

[Alice Aldrich]

Mr. Braddock will be right out, Henry. Thank you, Ms. Shay.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, I've got to talk to you.

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee whiz, Homer. Don't forget where we are.

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry.

[Sam Aldrich]

Ms. Shay, have they located that. That student who was responsible?

[Alice Aldrich]

Not yet. Mr. Bradley and Henry Aldrich would like.

[Mary Aldrich]

To speak to you.

[Homer Brown]

Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Quiet, Henry.

[Sam Aldrich]

I'm too busy to speak to you now. But, Mr. Bradley, whatever you've broken, just pay for it, and we'll forget the whole.

[Henry Aldrich]

I haven't broken anything, Mr. Bradley.

[Alice Aldrich]

No?

[Sam Aldrich]

Are you sure?

[Mary Aldrich]

Positive.

[Henry Aldrich]

Mr. Bradley, did you know there was something on your shoulder? Where?

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, it'll take me days to get the feathers out of this suit.

[Henry Aldrich]

You've had something to do with feathers recently. Homer, you stepped on my foot.

[Homer Brown]

I did?

[Mary Aldrich]

Mr. Bradley, that was Mr. Schultz, the.

[Alice Aldrich]

Janitor on the phone, and he says those feathers come from a duck.

[Sam Aldrich]

A duck?

[Mary Aldrich]

A duck. A live one.

[Sam Aldrich]

What? They say. That's ridiculous. The duck has no place in a public school.

[Mary Aldrich]

But that's what it was, Mr. Schultz. Said he saw it taking a bath in one of the drinking fountains.

[Henry Aldrich]

But.

[Sam Aldrich]

But ducks don't come in those colors.

[Mary Aldrich]

Well, Mr. Schultz can't explain that part of it, but he says that he.

[Alice Aldrich]

Knows a duck when he sees it.

[Henry Aldrich]

Mr. Bradley. Henry. Don't interrupt Mr. Bradley. If Mr. Schultz could tell us which way the duck went, Homer and I'd be glad to look for.

[Sam Aldrich]

We'll find the duck, Henry. And we'll also find out who's responsible for bringing a thing like that into Central High.

[Henry Aldrich]

We will? Oh, boy.

[Narrator]

And now, getting back to the troubles of Henry Aldrich. While Mr. Aldrich is having turkey troubles of his own, the duck which Henry has been forced to buy for the class Turkey Run has flown the coop. The scene opens in a hallway of Central High School.

[Mary Aldrich]

It.

[Narrator]

It is the same day.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, you mean you saw the duck?

[Homer Brown]

Not personally. But he got into ancient history, see, and started heckling Ms. Eggleston.

[Mary Aldrich]

Huh?

[Homer Brown]

She was reading to the class about Hannibal.

[Henry Aldrich]

He heckled Ms. Eggleston.

[Homer Brown]

She thought it was Toby Smith and sent him home to get his parents. Oh, Henry, you better find that duck before Mr. Bradley does.

[Henry Aldrich]

I know, Homer. I know.

[Homer Brown]

Well, she was. I never noticed that.

[Henry Aldrich]

Noticed what?

[Homer Brown]

That eagle on top of George Washington's picture on the wall there.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, what's wrong? That's no eagle. That's him.

[Mary Aldrich]

Who?

[Henry Aldrich]

Felix, our duck.

[Homer Brown]

It is Henry. He's changed. Where are all his clothes?

[Henry Aldrich]

Never mind that. Here, Ducky Wucky.

[Mary Aldrich]

Come down here.

[Homer Brown]

Ducky Wucky, come down.

[Henry Aldrich]

Go, Homer.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, he doesn't trust us.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, we haven't time to cultivate his friendship.

[Homer Brown]

Maybe I could knock him down with.

[Henry Aldrich]

One of my shoes. Oh, no, Homer. You might hit George Washington. Felix, you come down here or I'll.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, you frightened him.

[Henry Aldrich]

Come back, Felix. I didn't mean it, Homer.

[Homer Brown]

After him, Henry. There he goes up the stairway.

[Henry Aldrich]

Come back. Don't go up there.

[Mary Aldrich]

Come back, Felix.

[Homer Brown]

You'll get in trouble. That's a down stairway.

[Henry Aldrich]

Hello. Hello.

[Sam Aldrich]

Delaney's Butcher Shaft. Oh, how do you do? I'm phoning about. Just a minute, please.

[Henry Aldrich]

Do you know what that turkey just did? Ate a whole quarter of a pound of Mr. Davin's candy kisses.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, considering that he's going to be somebody's dinner soon, that's the least we can do for him.

[Henry Aldrich]

Hello?

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, I've got the butcher on the phone. Hello, I'm Mr. Aldrich, and I'm calling in reference to a turkey. Turkey? Yeah, They've been going like hotcakes, but I think I have One left. No, no. I already have a turkey. Oh, you're selling him? I'm sorry, but I can't get rid of the ones I got. You don't understand. I have a live turkey, and I thought. I thought. What would you charge to kill and dress it? Kill it? Yes. Well, I tell you, I'm afraid I couldn't do that. Why not? Well, I just scrubbed my floors, Mr. Delaney. You're not squeamish, are you?

[Henry Aldrich]

Squeamish?

[Sam Aldrich]

Of course not. Just because I'm a butcher is no reason for doing somebody else's dirty work.

[Henry Aldrich]

Now, look.

[Sam Aldrich]

Come on.

[Henry Aldrich]

But.

[Sam Aldrich]

Goodbye.

[Henry Aldrich]

Listen, Chucky, stay away from those hot water bottles. Will he kill it for a Sam?

[Sam Aldrich]

No.

[Mary Aldrich]

Oh.

[Alice Aldrich]

Oh, Sam.

[Henry Aldrich]

You know who might be willing to do it for us?

[Mary Aldrich]

Who?

[Henry Aldrich]

Dr. Collins. I hear he's a very handy man with a scalpel. No.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, we couldn't ask him.

[Henry Aldrich]

Why not?

[Sam Aldrich]

He charges 25 a visit. Besides, we look ridiculous.

[Henry Aldrich]

But, Sam, we've got to find somebody.

[Sam Aldrich]

Anything I can do for you, Mr. Aldrich? Why, Mr. DeHaven, have you had any experience with turkeys? Turkeys? I should say you have.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sham.

[Sam Aldrich]

He's our man, if I do say so myself. We serve the tastiest turkey sandwiches in Centerville. Yes, well, would you consider.

[Henry Aldrich]

What's that?

[Mary Aldrich]

Sham.

[Sam Aldrich]

Mr. Rollins, is that your turkey?

[Henry Aldrich]

Come into the Haven.

[Sam Aldrich]

Don't get upset. It was just an accident.

[Mary Aldrich]

Hey.

[Sam Aldrich]

Hey, you turkey.

[Henry Aldrich]

Get away from there. Yes, get away. Stop eating those pebbles.

[Sam Aldrich]

Pebbles?

[Henry Aldrich]

Those are baths salts, Mr. Alt at $3 a bottle. Hey, Homer, come on.

[Mary Aldrich]

I'm saving you a seat.

[Homer Brown]

Agnes, I'm not sure I can take the time to eat lunch. Have you seen Henry here in the cafeteria?

[Mary Aldrich]

No. And can't you even sit down long enough to hear? What happened in Jim Lac Period, Something.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure.

[Mary Aldrich]

We were playing volleyball, see? And right in the middle of it, this bird tried to get into the game.

[Homer Brown]

A bird? Agnes, was it anything like a duck?

[Mary Aldrich]

No, it was different colors. More like a parrot.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, Lord.

[Mary Aldrich]

And the girls were all color brown.

[Homer Brown]

What have I done?

[Mary Aldrich]

It's okay, kid. That's okay. But try it once more and I'll slap your face.

[Homer Brown]

I didn't do anything.

[Mary Aldrich]

Don't kid me. There isn't anybody close enough to pinch me except you.

[Henry Aldrich]

Pinch you?

[Homer Brown]

I pinched you.

[Mary Aldrich]

So you admit it.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, did you have any luck? No. He was. I almost had him. I trailed him to orchestra practice, see? And he flew right into Albert Harris's tuba.

[Homer Brown]

Why didn't you grab him before?

[Henry Aldrich]

I had a chance? Albert blew him out?

[Mary Aldrich]

Blew who out?

[Homer Brown]

No one, Agnes. Just someone.

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry, I certainly want to apologize. Apologize, Agnes, for being against your turkey run?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, now that I think it over, Agnes, maybe you were right.

[Mary Aldrich]

No, I wasn't. The dance tickets are going like hotcakes.

[Henry Aldrich]

They are?

[Mary Aldrich]

Sure. Everybody's hoping to catch the turkey.

[Henry Aldrich]

They are?

[Mary Aldrich]

I hope it's a fast one. The whole track team just bought tickets from me.

[Henry Aldrich]

Agnes.

[Alice Aldrich]

Agnes.

[Henry Aldrich]

Looked about that turkey.

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry Aldrich.

[Henry Aldrich]

What's the matter?

[Mary Aldrich]

Are you looking for a slap, too?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, what did I do?

[Mary Aldrich]

I suppose you didn't pinch me, but she was no. Oh, so it was you again, Homer.

[Homer Brown]

Agnes, I give you my word.

[Mary Aldrich]

Somebody pinched me, and I dared him to try again. What did you say?

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer?

[Homer Brown]

Where is he?

[Henry Aldrich]

Under the table.

[Mary Aldrich]

Get down there and grab him. Hey, cut it off. And I got him, Homer.

[Henry Aldrich]

I got him.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, let go of my hair.

[Henry Aldrich]

There he goes under the next table.

[Mary Aldrich]

Excuse me. Cut it out, you. Hey, watch your feet.

[Henry Aldrich]

Here he goes under the next table. Excuse me.

[Mary Aldrich]

Homer, I see you. I can't get by this guy's feet. Hey, lift your feet.

[Henry Aldrich]

You lift your feet.

[Sam Aldrich]

I beg your pardon.

[Mary Aldrich]

Oh, boy.

[Henry Aldrich]

Hello, Mr. Bradling. Are those feet attached to you? They are.

[Sam Aldrich]

Stand up, please.

[Henry Aldrich]

Mr. Bradley, I know you won't believe this, but I was really under the table on school business.

[Sam Aldrich]

You don't say. And what school? School business could take you under the teacher's lunch table?

[Homer Brown]

The teacher's table. Gee, how do we lose our direction like that?

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, boy. There he is.

[Sam Aldrich]

Get that duck. Somebody get that duck. Just a moment.

[Homer Brown]

Just a moment.

[Henry Aldrich]

Just a moment, everybody. Just a moment.

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry, is that you?

[Sam Aldrich]

No, Alice, it's not Henry. I think I'll go upstairs and take a hot bath and lie down.

[Alice Aldrich]

Yes, dear. Did you get the turkey to Mrs. Dixon?

[Sam Aldrich]

Yes, Alice, I got it to her.

[Mary Aldrich]

Good.

[Sam Aldrich]

And before I forget, here's something for you.

[Homer Brown]

Thank you, Sam.

[Mary Aldrich]

What is it?

[Sam Aldrich]

Bassoon.

[Alice Aldrich]

That's all.

[Mary Aldrich]

But, dear, why only half a bottle?

[Sam Aldrich]

Mr. De Haven made me a special offer I couldn't say no to.

[Alice Aldrich]

Well, thank you, dear. What did Mrs. Dixon say, Sam? Say, when you gave her the turkey?

[Henry Aldrich]

Hello, Mother. Hello, Father.

[Sam Aldrich]

I don't go upstairs and get a bath right now, the water will turn cold.

[Alice Aldrich]

Henry, why are you coming home so late?

[Henry Aldrich]

Why, there was a little cleaning up at school I had to do.

[Alice Aldrich]

Well, dear, you better go upstairs and start getting dressed for dinner if you want to get to the Thanksgiving dance on time.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, I'll tell you, Mother, that dance has sort of been postponed.

[Alice Aldrich]

Really?

[Henry Aldrich]

Why? Well, the student body's so worn out, they're in no shape to dance. Worn out? Yeah, from sort of a duck run we had in school today. So we decided to postpone the dance until Christmas.

[Mary Aldrich]

Christmas?

[Henry Aldrich]

At first, but on second thought, we decided the whole school might not be back in shape even by Christmas. So instead, we're gonna have an Easter Egg roll dance.

[Alice Aldrich]

Well, that sounds lovely.

[Henry Aldrich]

And, Mother, when Easter comes around, do you suppose Father might be willing to advance me $5? You see, the class is kind of depending on me to provide the eggs. Alice.

[Mary Aldrich]

I'm coming, dear.

[Henry Aldrich]

I wonder if duck eggs are cheaper.

[Mary Aldrich]

What is it, Sam?

[Sam Aldrich]

Alice, do you mind if I borrow those bath salts?

[Mary Aldrich]

Of course not.

[Sam Aldrich]

I'd like to get a little pleasure out of what happened today.

[Henry Aldrich]

Fine.

[Alice Aldrich]

And would you answer the phone, please, while I start dinner?

[Henry Aldrich]

Hello? Hello, Mr. Aldrich?

[Alice Aldrich]

This is Mrs. Dixon.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, yes, Mr. Dixon.

[Alice Aldrich]

Mr. Aldrich, the reason I'm calling. Well, you see, I found a beautiful.

[Henry Aldrich]

Turkey tied to my back porch not.

[Alice Aldrich]

More than half an hour ago.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, somebody probably wanted you to enjoy a happy Thanksgiving.

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes, it was very kind of them, but the point is, I don't need it. My children found a lovely duck in school today.

[Sam Aldrich]

Duck?

[Alice Aldrich]

Yes, and practically all plot, too.

[Henry Aldrich]

And, Mr. Aldridge, there's no one I'd.

[Alice Aldrich]

Rather see have this turkey than you.

[Henry Aldrich]

Me?

[Sam Aldrich]

But, Mrs. Dixon.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, he's a wonderful bird, Mr. Aldrich.

[Alice Aldrich]

All you have to do is kill him.

[Sam Aldrich]

Now, wait a minute.

[Narrator]

Listen again. Next week, same time, same station, for another sparkling half hour with your favorite youngster, his family and his pals. The Aldrich Family, starring Ezra Stone, is written by Clifford Goldsmith.