Aldrich Family 52-12-14 563 Roadside Stand

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Aldrich Family 52-12-14, Episode 563: "Roadside Stand"
Release Date: August 19, 2025

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Main Theme

This classic episode centers on Henry Aldrich and his friend Homer’s latest entrepreneurial scheme—setting up a roadside stand to raise money for a car. Set during the chilly winter, their efforts unfold with the typical blend of adolescent optimism, comic mishaps, and misunderstandings, ultimately culminating in unintended consequences for the long-suffering Aldrich household.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dog Washing & Lemonade Venture

• [00:55-03:38] Henry and Homer try to raise money by washing Homer’s dog for Mr. Brown for 35 cents, then quickly pivot to making lemonade.
• The boys become inventive by juicing anything available, even pineapple and cantaloupe, leading to a chaotic kitchen and a "new punch" recipe.
• They briefly dream about patenting their drink and selling it at a roadside stand—even in December.
• Quote:
  • Henry Aldrich (about their fruity punch):
    "Boy, I think we've got something. Mmm." ([04:35])

2. Roadside Stand Plan

• [03:57-05:51] Inspired by their semi-success, Henry and Homer plan their own business—first dog washing, then a lemonade/punch stand, finally pivoting to hot dogs when they realize how cold it is.
• The boys hope the stand will get them the extra cash for a used car.
• The parents, while bemused, debate whether to encourage or discourage the boys’ ambitions.
• Quote:
  • Mr. Brown (skeptical):
    "I don't know, but instinct tells me no." ([06:04])
  • Mr. Aldrich (supportive):
    "Personally, I like their initiative. They ought to be encouraged." ([06:06])

3. The Roadside Stand Fails—Comic Realism

• [06:53-10:19]
  • The boys struggle to sell food and drinks; the location is poor, business is slow, and customers ask for things they don’t have (like hot coffee or oil).
  • Homer laments: "If we've only sold 25 cents worth since 3 this afternoon, we're never going to sell $4 worth this lace." ([07:58])
  • Their invented punch (ice-cold and full of random fruits) is unsuccessful on a cold night.
  • A rare customer stops for hot dogs, but the boys are unprepared and need to build a fire.

4. Entrepreneurship Escalates—Taking in “Rumors”

• [11:02-13:42]
  • A stranded family stops, unable to find lodging; Henry offers his own home as a makeshift inn, planning to charge for rooms and breakfast.
  • His parents are unaware as Henry sneaks the family and their grandchildren into the house.
  • Quote:
    • Henry (business focus):
      "Well, of course you could stay at my house." ([11:31])

5. Morning Confusion—Parents Discover the “Boarders”

• [15:35-20:11]
  • Mr. and Mrs. Aldrich are bewildered by extra groceries in their kitchen and by the appearance of Mr. Jackson, a “guest” at breakfast.
  • Many comical moments as Mr. Jackson assumes the house is a genuine tourist home, ordering buckwheat cakes and discussing swollen ankles.
  • Mr. Aldrich tries to subtly encourage Mr. Jackson and family to try another inn.
  • Quote:
    • Mr. Aldrich (to Mr. Jackson):
      "Frankly, the service here is very poor. If I were you, I'd take my family and try the mansion house downtown." ([19:00])

6. Epidemic Panic—Measles, or Just a Rash?

• [22:04-24:13]
  • Confusion arises when the grandchildren seem to have measles; the doctor is called, causing concern about quarantining the house for three weeks.
  • The cause turns out to be a rash from the boys’ experimental punch, which contained strawberries.
  • Quote:
    • Mrs. Aldrich (relieved):
      "Oh, then it is a rash. And, Sam, just think. We won't be quarantined. Oh, the house is our own again." ([24:05])

7. Resolution—Back to Normal, with a Modern Twist

• [24:40-End]
  • The Aldrich parents politely “refer” the Jacksons to another lodging; Mr. Aldrich orders a “Rooms for Rent” sign for Will Brown’s yard as a joke.
  • Henry proposes yet another money-making scheme (building cabins in the yard), prompting his father to offer a dollar for every idea not acted upon.
  • Quote:
    • Mr. Aldrich (dryly):
      "From now on, for every idea you get, I'll pay you $1 not to use it." ([25:59])

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Memorable Quotes

• “Boy, I think we've got something.” – Henry Aldrich ([04:35])
• “Personally, I like their initiative. They ought to be encouraged.” – Mr. Aldrich ([06:06])
• “If we've only sold 25 cents worth since 3 this afternoon, we're never going to sell $4 worth this lace.” – Homer ([07:58])
• “Oh, then it is a rash… We won't be quarantined. Oh, the house is our own again.” – Mrs. Aldrich ([24:05])
• “From now on, for every idea you get, I'll pay you $1 not to use it.” – Mr. Aldrich ([25:59])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Dog Washing and Lemonade Beginnings: [00:55–03:38]
• Roadside Stand Planning: [03:57–05:51]
• Actual Roadside Stand Comedy: [06:53–10:19]
• First Night and Lodging Guests: [11:02–13:42]
• Parents' Morning Confusion: [15:35–20:11]
• Measles (Rash) Mix-up and Quarantine Fear: [22:04–24:13]
• Resolution and Wrap-up: [24:40–End]

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Tone and Style

The episode is characterized by warm, family-friendly humor, gentle parental sarcasm, and the earnest (if misguided) enthusiasm of youth. It presents a lighthearted look at adolescent schemes, the patience of parents, and small-town values of community and entrepreneurship.

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For New Listeners

This episode exemplifies the Aldrich Family’s enduring comedic appeal—showcasing well-meaning blunders, rapid-fire dialogue, and a cast whose chemistry makes even mundane events charming. The story's gentle escalation from lemonade stand to quasi-boarding house underlines both the optimism and chaos of teenage ambition, all while leaving the audience with a smile.

Transcript

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Henry. Henry Aldrich.

[Henry Aldrich]

Coming, Mother.

[Narrator]

Yes, it's the Aldrich family. As transcribed written by Clifford Goldsmith. Adults think they have problems, but a teenager also has his share of them. And if he's a typical American boy like Henry Aldridge, it seems there's no end of problems. One bumps right smack into another one. And the search for solutions is always a desperate one. The scene opens in the Aldridge kitchen. The time is afternoon.

[Henry Aldrich]

Now, listen, Homer, let me squeeze the next lemon.

[Homer]

Why don't you be getting the sugar out, Henry?

[Henry Aldrich]

I already got it. Come on, it's my turn to run the juicers.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Okay. Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes, Mother.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Where are you?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, Homer and I are just sort of here in the kitchen.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

I thought you promised Homer's father you'd wash his dog.

[Henry Aldrich]

We are washing it, Mother.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

In the kitchen.

[Homer]

No, Mrs. Aldridge. Smoothie stayed outside for the time being.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure. We just came in for a drink of water.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

So you're making lemonade?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, Mother, you know how warm you get chasing a dog.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

No, I'm afraid I don't. And you'd better finish that dog before Will Brown comes back.

[Homer]

Oh, he's over Fixing our furnace, Mrs. Aldridge. With Henry's father, we got all the.

[Henry Aldrich]

Time in the world.

[Mr. Brown]

Well, Sam, I must say that I am a little warm.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, boy, Homer, is that your father already?

[Homer]

We better hurry, Henry.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Come on out to the kitchen, Will. Let's see what we can find.

[Mr. Brown]

That sounds good to me. I sure am thirsty.

[Homer]

Hello, Father.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Hello, boys. You all finished?

[Henry Aldrich]

That's just what we were going to ask you.

[Mr. Brown]

Well, I guess I owe you boys $0.35, huh?

[Narrator]

$0.35, Father, for washing the dog.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Here you are.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well. Well, you really don't have to pay us right now, Mr. Brown.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, here, take it. How does Smoothie look?

[Henry Aldrich]

Boy, she certainly was a sight.

[Mr. Brown]

I'll say she was.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Where is she?

[Homer]

Out and back, Father. Wouldn't you like some swell lemonade first?

[Mr. Brown]

Lemonade?

[Henry Aldrich]

Here, you can have my glass, Mr. Brown. And here, Father, you take Homer's glass.

[Mr. Aldrich]

I don't want to deprive you boys.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, gosh, Father, it's no deprivacy at all.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, thank you.

[Mr. Brown]

Yeah, that certainly hits the spot. Boy, thanks a lot.

[Homer]

You're welcome, Father.

[Mr. Brown]

Now, I'll go out and back and take a look at Smoothie.

[Homer]

Well, first, won't you have another glass of lemonade?

[Mr. Brown]

Oh, I'd like to see Smoothie.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, come on, Will. Let's go in the living room and relax. I'm tired.

[Mr. Brown]

Well, maybe you're right. Sam. Come to think of it, I'm pretty tired myself.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Much obliged for the lemonade, boys.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, that's all right, Father. That's the least we could have done for you.

[Homer]

Henry, let's hurry up and finish up on smoothie.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure, as soon as we make a little lemonade for ourselves. Hey, boy, this is some juicer.

[Homer]

With this 35 cents. Henry, how much do we have?

[Henry Aldrich]

$12.

[Homer]

Boy, all we need is $3 more, and we'll have enough for a down payment on that car we saw.

[Henry Aldrich]

The only trouble is, Homer, how are we gonna get three more dollars?

[Homer]

Why don't we go into business?

[Henry Aldrich]

What kind of business?

[Homer]

Well, something we've had experience in. Like washing dogs.

[Henry Aldrich]

You mean for people?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Sure.

[Homer]

They're the only ones who have money.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, maybe you got something there.

[Homer]

You're darn right.

[Henry Aldrich]

It's taking a lot longer to do smoothie than I thought it would. I think we ought to charge 50 cents. Oh, boy. We're all out of lemons, Homer. Only I know what we do have in the icebox. What? And I'd like to try it on the squeezer too. It's a pineapple.

[Homer]

Gee whiz, I sure like pineapple.

[Henry Aldrich]

It's already got the bottom cut off. Stand back now while I put it on here.

[Homer]

Hang on, Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Look, Homer. Look what it does to us. Boy, will we have some drink.

[Homer]

The only thing is, Henry, will we charge the same price to wash a Great Dane as we do a fox terrier?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, naturally, we'll charge different prices for different sizes. Then for thoroughbreds, we'll have to charge a lot extra.

[Homer]

Oh, sure. They need a more delicate soap.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, do you know what else we ought to squeeze in here? What? Look in the icebox. Here's half a cantaloupe. Why didn't I think of that before?

[Homer]

Sure. Step the motor, Em. First, though, Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Here we go, Homer.

[Homer]

Harry, look at what you did.

[Henry Aldrich]

Why didn't you jump out of the way?

[Homer]

The seeds are all over me.

[Henry Aldrich]

Don't worry about those, Homer. Hey. Here. Just take a taste of what we've made here.

[Homer]

Well, how is it?

[Henry Aldrich]

Boy, I think we've got something. Mmm.

[Homer]

Gee whiz, I'll say we have.

[Henry Aldrich]

How about patenting it?

[Homer]

Could we patent a thing like this?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Well, sure.

[Henry Aldrich]

Why not? It's our own personal formula. Every time anybody wants a glass full, they send us so much money, whether.

[Homer]

They like it or not.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure.

[Homer]

How would they know where we live?

[Henry Aldrich]

We'll send them our address. Or maybe we could have our own roadside stand.

[Homer]

Let's have a little more of that punch, Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Hey, how about a roadside stand?

[Homer]

In December, Henry?

[Mr. Jackson]

Come on, Sam.

[Mr. Brown]

Homer, I thought you said you washed Smoothie.

[Homer]

Well, we did get her half washed, Father.

[Mr. Brown]

Well, what's she supposed to do, finish the job herself?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, we didn't think we ought to rush her into it, Mr. Brown. She was so warm by the time we caught her, we thought she ought to cool off first.

[Mr. Brown]

Well, I'll just take back that 35 cents until she does cool off. Well, Homer.

[Homer]

Yes, Father? The real reason we haven't finished Smoothie is because we had to work out this special drink.

[Mr. Aldrich]

For a smoothie?

[Henry Aldrich]

Gosh, no, Father. For our roadside stand.

[Mr. Aldrich]

What roadside stand?

[Henry Aldrich]

Didn't you know? So we can get enough money to make a down payment on our car.

[Mr. Brown]

Well, you just forget your roadside stand until next summer.

[Homer]

Yeah, but, Father, if we don't get a car, Henry and I'll have to walk wherever we go.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Good.

[Mr. Brown]

Suppose you start walking toward that dog.

[Homer]

Yes, Father.

[Mr. Brown]

Homer, what happened to your face?

[Homer]

Cantaloupe seeds.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'll go with you, Homer, and hold her while you wash.

[Homer]

I better hold her, Henry. She's pretty tickly.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, what are I going to do if the boys run a roadside stand?

[Mr. Brown]

I don't know, but instinct tells me no.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Personally, I like their initiative. They ought to be encouraged.

[Mr. Brown]

Only I don't think the boys need a car. Not in the winter, anyhow.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Don't be absurd, Will. They'll never actually earn enough to get a car.

[Mr. Brown]

No, but why take a chance? Let's have some more of this lemonade here, Will.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, we'll both have a lot less trouble on our hands if we let them try their luck as businessmen.

[Mr. Brown]

And we'll have still less if we don't. Oh, here's to us.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Here's to us. This Drake. It's okay, Sam.

[Mr. Brown]

Let the boys have their roadside stand. They won't get any car.

[Henry Aldrich]

Refreshments, mister? Delicious punch. Ice cold homemade punch. Boy, there were a lot of people in that car, too.

[Homer]

Henny, I'm getting colder by the minute.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, here, have another glass of punch.

[Homer]

Could we warm it up a little first?

[Henry Aldrich]

Hey, Homer, maybe that's the trouble.

[Homer]

What is?

[Henry Aldrich]

Maybe we should be featuring our hot dogs.

[Homer]

Sure, that's an idea. Boy, if everybody is as cold as I am, I'll try it.

[Henry Aldrich]

Get your hot dogs here. Red hot hot dog.

[Homer]

Hot dogs with mustard.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Red hot mustard.

[Homer]

Maybe they've got a heater in their car.

[Henry Aldrich]

Hey, here comes another one. Get your hot dog here. Hot Dogs here.

[Homer]

With mustard, red hot.

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee whiz, he wouldn't even stop.

[Homer]

What time do you think it is, Henry?

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, it isn't so late.

[Homer]

Seems like an awful long time since the sun went down. I'm cold.

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee whiz, Homer, we can't quit after investing all our money in this stuff. We got nearly $4 tied up here.

[Homer]

Henry, it stands to reason. If we've only sold 25 cents worth since 3 this afternoon, we're never going to sell $4 worth this lace.

[Henry Aldrich]

But we're paying rent to the guy that owns this stand. We've got to get full use out of it.

[Homer]

Now I know why we got it so cheap.

[Henry Aldrich]

Hey, here comes a car. Refreshments, mister? Hot dogs, peanut butter sandwiches.

[Homer]

Henry, do you suppose our location has anything to do with it?

[Henry Aldrich]

Our location?

[Homer]

Well, maybe it isn't good to be on a curve that's on the side of a hill.

[Henry Aldrich]

People get hungry on curves.

[Homer]

Well, the fella that owns this place couldn't even sell gas. Hey, here comes another cop.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'll stop it. Hey, mister. Refreshments, sandwiches. Hot dogs for a cold day.

[Homer]

Henry, he's stopping. He's stopping.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Yeah.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Hey, buddy.

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes, sir?

[Narrator]

Two quarts of oil.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oil? I'm sorry, but we don't carry oil.

[Narrator]

What you got those signs up for?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, those are from another guy. He went broke.

[Narrator]

Looks as though you're gonna do all right too.

[Homer]

Thanks.

[Henry Aldrich]

How about a delicious drink?

[Narrator]

Yeah, that sounds good. Nice hot cup of coffee. Sure would warm me up.

[Homer]

We haven't got coffee.

[Mr. Aldrich]

What have you got?

[Henry Aldrich]

Ice cold punch.

[Narrator]

Ice cold punch on a night like this?

[Homer]

It's got pineapple and cantaloupe and strawberries.

[Henry Aldrich]

And gee whizzy, didn't even say goodbye.

[Homer]

Anyhow, he stopped. That's encouraging.

[Henry Aldrich]

Let's drink a little more punch.

[Homer]

You drink it. I don't want any more. I'm all goose pimples.

[Henry Aldrich]

You gotta eat something, Homer, to keep up your strength.

[Homer]

Henry, maybe we shouldn't have told our folks we wouldn't be home for dinner tonight.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer. Somebody stop. Hey, got any hot dogs? Yes, sir.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Let's have five to take out to the car.

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes, sir. Five. Homer, where'd you go?

[Homer]

Homer? Yeah, what do you have, Henry?

[Henry Aldrich]

Make it five.

[Homer]

Yes, sir. Coming up. Five what?

[Henry Aldrich]

Hot dogs. Didn't I tell you, Homer? It was just a case of sticking to it.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Will it take very long, Mac?

[Henry Aldrich]

No, sir. You'll have them right away. Homer, which bag are they in?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Haven't you got them on the fire?

[Henry Aldrich]

We ate all we cooked, but it won't take any time at all, sir. All we have to do is build a fire.

[Mr. Brown]

Build a fire?

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, go out and find some kindling. Never mind, Mac. Can't you wait?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I've got to make the coast by Wednesday.

[Henry Aldrich]

I know, but wait. How about some peanut butter sandwiches or some delicious new punch?

[Homer]

We're farther away from getting our car than we ever were.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, all I can say, Homer, is I don't like your talking as though what we're doing is a mistake.

[Homer]

All I can tell you, Henry, is how things look to me.

[Henry Aldrich]

All right, then. All right. Now, I suppose you want to quit just when people are beginning to stop.

[Homer]

Sure. I'm going home. And I'm taking my share of the hot dogs, too.

[Henry Aldrich]

Okay, Homer. I expected it all the time. What's that?

[Homer]

It's a car.

[Henry Aldrich]

Is it a customer?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Hello there.

[Henry Aldrich]

What can we do for you?

[Mr. Jackson]

How far is it to the next town?

[Henry Aldrich]

Centerville's in back of you.

[Mr. Jackson]

Yeah, I know. We just came from. There isn't a room left in town.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Joseph, let's drive on. I don't like talking to strange men on the road.

[Homer]

Oh, we're not men.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Oh, my goodness, Joseph, he's drawing a gun.

[Henry Aldrich]

This isn't a gun. It's a hot dog.

[Mr. Brown]

Millie, be yourself.

[Mr. Jackson]

You boys don't have any cabins here, do you?

[Henry Aldrich]

No, sir.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Well, I'm not going any further tonight.

[Henry Aldrich]

Would you like to sleep here in our road stand?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Does it have heat and running water?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, no, not exactly.

[Mr. Jackson]

Do you know of any place we could get a room? I'd pay anything in reason.

[Henry Aldrich]

Pay? Would it have to be a hotel?

[Mr. Jackson]

Any place at all. Just so long as it has some beds.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, of course you could stay at my house.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

We could.

[Homer]

They could.

[Henry Aldrich]

Henry, are there just the two of you?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Well, there's my husband here and our two grandchildren asleep in the back seat.

[Mr. Jackson]

Well, how much do you charge a night?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Alice, you asleep yet?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

What is it, Sam?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Is Henry in?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

No, dear. I've been listening for him.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, he'll be along.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Dear, I'm worried to death. They're out there on that main highway all alone and it's cold.

[Mr. Aldrich]

They'll take care of themselves, all right.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

They didn't even come home for dinner.

[Mr. Aldrich]

They probably ate their own hot dogs and enjoyed them.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Listen, Sam, isn't that a car stopping in front of the house?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Probably somebody bringing Henry home.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

It may be my imagination, but it sounds as if there were five or six getting out of that car.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Now, Alice, there aren't five or six getting out of it. Henry and Homer are probably unloading the dishes he borrowed.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Was that the front door I just heard?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I hope so. Either that or the furnace exploding.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Henry. Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

What is it, Mother?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Be sure to lock the door, dear.

[Henry Aldrich]

I have locked it. And, Father, could I ask you something?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Not tonight, Henry. It's time to go to bed.

[Henry Aldrich]

But it won't take more than a second.

[Mr. Aldrich]

How was business, son?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, not very good at the beginning. But let me tell you how we ended up.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

I'm glad you did so well. But not tonight.

[Henry Aldrich]

But, Mother. Just let me tell you.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Henry, your father and I both want to get to sleep.

[Henry Aldrich]

You don't think you'd be even slightly interested?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Please close the door.

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes, Father, but I just want to say that business is very good.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Don't get up too early, dear.

[Henry Aldrich]

No, Mother. Mister? Oh, mister, are you down there?

[Mr. Jackson]

How about these suitcases, young man?

[Henry Aldrich]

Just a minute. I'll be right down. My folks seem to have gone to bed.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

What time do you serve breakfast?

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, gee whiz. Just come down anytime you like. Father.

[Mr. Brown]

Father, I'm eating breakfast. Homer, what are you doing up so early?

[Homer]

Father, I've been thinking about something all night. I've got an idea.

[Mr. Brown]

Roadside stand business.

[Homer]

Well, that's sort of what I want to talk to you about. Father, why don't we take in rumors?

[Mr. Brown]

Rumors? Homer, what would we do with rumors?

[Homer]

Let them sleep. There's big money in it.

[Mr. Brown]

There is?

[Homer]

Sure. Henry Aldridge made $5 last night. He took home four guests.

[Henry Aldrich]

He did?

[Homer]

And now he's going to charge them 25 cents each for breakfast.

[Mr. Brown]

Do his folks know about it?

[Homer]

Well, not yet, I don't.

[Mr. Brown]

Homer, you told me to say that Sam Aldridge is going to wake up this morning and find four strange people in his house.

[Homer]

Sure. Won't he be surprised to get all that money?

[Mr. Brown]

Oh, this is too good to miss.

[Henry Aldrich]

Hey, Homer.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Where are you, Henry?

[Henry Aldrich]

Out on the front porch. Come on up to town with me.

[Homer]

What for?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, before my folks get up, I've got to get some oranges, eggs and pabl.

[Narrator]

Well, now, getting back to the troubles of Henry Aldrich. Henry and his friend Homer have gone into the roadside stand business. On their first night at work, a party of four came along looking for rooms, and Henry, the complete businessman, took them to his house, only to find his parents had retired. The scene opens in the Aldridge dining room. The time, the next morning.

[Mr. Aldrich]

I'm all ready for breakfast. Alice.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Is Henry up?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Why, I thought he was down here. He isn't. In his room.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

I certainly hope he hasn't gone back to his roadstand.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Now, Alice, stop worrying. There's nothing wrong with Henry having spunk enough to go out and try to earn a little money. Well, I know, frankly, I like to see it. And we ought to do everything we can to encourage it.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Perhaps you're right. Sam, dear, what's that car doing out in front?

[Mr. Aldrich]

What car?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

The one with the Illinois license on it.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, apparently the Kilmers next door are having guests. Why don't they park in front of their own house?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Well, now, sit down and drink your orange juice. I'll go out and get your eggs started.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Where's my paper?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Right there on the table.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, yes, yes.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Sam, listen. Isn't that Henry walking around upstairs?

[Mr. Aldrich]

It couldn't be.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Well, it certainly can't be. Mary. She's away, dear.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Then you don't hear any footsteps? It's your imagination. I heard Henry come down half an hour ago and.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Sam, where do you suppose all those things on the kitchen table came from?

[Mr. Aldrich]

What things?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

A dozen oranges, two dozen eggs and a box of Pablum.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Didn't you order them from the store?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Pablum? Of course I didn't.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, the grocer probably made a mistake. Well, here's an embarrassing situation some fellow walked into. Did you read about it in the paper?

[Henry Aldrich]

No.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

What is it?

[Mr. Aldrich]

He lives in one of those real estate developments where all the houses look alike. And he came home the other night and went to bed. And when he got up the next morning, he found he'd slept in the wrong house.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Imagine a thing like that.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Not only that, he slept in the wrong pajamas. Oh, and not only that.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Here are your eggs and coffee, dear. Do you want anything more? I'll be out in the kitchen.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Thank you, dear.

[Mr. Jackson]

Good morning. Is this the dining room in here?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I beg your pardon?

[Mr. Jackson]

What state are you from?

[Mr. Aldrich]

What state?

[Mr. Jackson]

No, I'm from Illinois. Name's Jackson. Say, how are the meals here?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Why, I've never heard any complaints.

[Mr. Jackson]

I hope they're better than the beds, that's for sure. How did you sleep last night?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Fairly well. You. You know someone here at this house?

[Mr. Jackson]

No, not a soul. We're total strangers here.

[Mr. Aldrich]

We? How many of you are there?

[Mr. Jackson]

My wife and myself and two grandchildren. We were going to bring their Aunt Molly, too, but she got sick at the last minute. It's her old trouble. The way that woman's ankles swell up.

[Narrator]

I'm sorry to hear it.

[Mr. Jackson]

Say, how do you get service around here if there's one thing I don't like to do, it's wait.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Sam, it is not necessary for you to tap on a glass when you want something. All you have to do is.

[Mr. Jackson]

Good morning, ma'.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Am.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Morning.

[Mr. Jackson]

One order of buckwheat cakes. Buckwheat cakes with syrup. And send up two soft boiled eggs to my wife.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Sam.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Alice, this gentleman is from Illinois.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Very nice.

[Mr. Jackson]

I'm sure the children are coming down later.

[Homer]

Oh, dear.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

If you'll excuse me, I'll go back to the kitchen.

[Mr. Jackson]

Not a bad looker, that's for sure.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, thank you. I think so, too.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Joseph, are you downstairs?

[Homer]

What do you want?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Millie, come here a minute.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Okay.

[Mr. Jackson]

If anybody tries to take my place here, tell them it's took, will you?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Why don't you just tip your chair up?

[Mr. Jackson]

Good idea. When you're through with that newspaper, save it for me, will you?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Yes, I will. Alice. Alice.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Yes, dear?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Alice, Are we in the right house?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Sam, who is that? Who is that man? Where did you meet him?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I don't know any more about him than you do. Personally, I'd say the fellow is lost and doesn't know it.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Where is he now?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Upstairs. He thinks there are grandchildren up there.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Oh, my goodness. And you're sitting there letting an insane man wander around the house without doing anything.

[Mr. Aldrich]

What would you suggest I do?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Put him out, dear.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, that's all there is to it.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Perhaps he's suffering from amnesia. You don't have to speak sharply to him. Just lead him gently to the door and tell him to go.

[Mr. Aldrich]

The only thing is, supposing he resents her.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Well, if you speak to him carefully, he won't.

[Mr. Aldrich]

He's coming back downstairs. You better step into the kitchen.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Yes, dear. Only be careful, Sam.

[Mr. Jackson]

My griddle cake's here yet.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, no, they aren't. Frankly, the service here is very poor. If I were you, I'd take my family and try the mansion house downtown. The front door is right out that way.

[Mr. Jackson]

Where can we get a doctor?

[Mr. Aldrich]

A doctor?

[Mr. Jackson]

Yeah, for the grandchildren.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, yes, the grandchildren.

[Mr. Jackson]

Hey, where in the heck are my griddle cakes?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I'll try to get them for you.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Yes? Are you calling me?

[Mr. Aldrich]

One order of griddle cakes. And when you have time, please call a doctor.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

A doctor?

[Mr. Aldrich]

That's right. A doctor and griddle cakes. That's what Mr. Jackson wants. And we do want to keep him happy, that's for sure.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Sam, have you any idea where Henry might have gone when he left the house this morning?

[Mr. Aldrich]

No. And if he knows what's good for him, he Won't come home. Has the doctor come yet?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

He's upstairs now and Mr. Jackson is out on the porch. Why don't you ask him what time he's leaving?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I did. Sometime before dinner. Until then, we'll simply have to bear with him.

[Homer]

Sam.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Here comes another car. It's stopping right in front of the house.

[Mr. Aldrich]

If Henry has sent any more people here.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Oh, it's only Will Brown.

[Mr. Aldrich]

If he asks for me, I don't want to see him. We'll never hear the end of this. Good morning.

[Mr. Brown]

Do the Aldrich's live here?

[Mr. Jackson]

Yes, sir. Only I don't know whether they have any more rooms or not.

[Mr. Brown]

Open up, Sam.

[Henry Aldrich]

I know you're in there.

[Mr. Brown]

Oh, hello, Sam. Alice.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Just thought I'd come over and see how business is. Well, business is fine, thank you.

[Mr. Brown]

Mighty nice place you've got. It's all right for a visit, but I wouldn't care to live here.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Now look here, Will.

[Mr. Brown]

Where do I register?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Will, have you seen Henry or Homer?

[Mr. Brown]

Not for the last hour.

[Mr. Aldrich]

What were they doing when you did see them?

[Mr. Brown]

They're talking about going down to the railroad station and meeting the incoming trains.

[Mr. Aldrich]

What's that?

[Henry Aldrich]

Who can that be?

[Mr. Brown]

Probably an inquiry about rate.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Hello? Yeah. What? No. Absolutely no. Yes, that's right. And if Henry's there, please tell him to come home. Oh, he left some time ago. Very well. Goodbye.

[Mr. Brown]

Sam, you shouldn't turn any guests down like that. This isn't the way to build goodwill.

[Mr. Aldrich]

That wasn't a guest, will. It was Mr. Sparrow. He called about a car the boys are trying to buy on time payments.

[Mr. Brown]

They still want to get that old car?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, no, not anymore. Mr. Sparrow says that now they're interested in a station wagon. They need it for their business.

[Mr. Brown]

Well, why not let them get it? Sam, didn't you say I like their initiative? They ought to be encouraged.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Listen, Will. I've taken quite enough from you.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Sam, the doctor wants to see you.

[Mr. Aldrich]

He wants to see me?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Yes, dear.

[Mr. Brown]

Oh, you got a doctor staying here, too?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Yeah. Don't even speak to Will.

[Mr. Brown]

You look upset.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Alice, what's the matter?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

I am upset. Do you know what the doctor thinks the two grandchildren have? The measles.

[Mr. Brown]

Measles? Well, I guess I'll be running along.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Well, do you know what that means? We'll be cooped up with that whole family for nearly three weeks.

[Henry Aldrich]

Father. Father. Is Father here? Mr. Brown?

[Mr. Aldrich]

He's upstairs.

[Mr. Brown]

Henry, if I were you, I wouldn't go up. He's with a doctor.

[Henry Aldrich]

What's that, Alice?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Yes, Sam?

[Mr. Aldrich]

The doctor wants to see you next.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Oh, dear. What is it now?

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee, Father, I hope nothing's wrong. Did Mr. Sparrow call?

[Mr. Aldrich]

He did.

[Henry Aldrich]

Did you tell him? He'd vouch for my credit?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I certainly did not.

[Henry Aldrich]

But, Father, we're making money hand over fist.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Henry, do you realize that those guests you brought home may be quarantined here?

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, boy. At the regular rates.

[Mr. Brown]

Henry, what is it you want? A credit reference with Mr. Sparrow?

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes, sir.

[Mr. Brown]

Well, anybody as enterprising as you deserves one.

[Henry Aldrich]

You mean you'll help us, Mr. Brown?

[Mr. Brown]

I'd be glad to.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, Brown.

[Homer]

Oh, boy.

[Henry Aldrich]

So long.

[Mr. Brown]

Sam. What harm gonna do if we help a boy? Wasn't that what you said?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

The doctor says that what the children have is one of two things.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Something worse than the measles?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

No, he says it might just be. Possibly be a strawberry rash. The only trouble is, Mrs. Jackson doesn't remember giving the children any strawberries yesterday.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure, Mother. They had strawberries yesterday.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

When?

[Henry Aldrich]

In the punch.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Well, my goodness.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Henry, is there anything you and Homer didn't put in that punch?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, not that I can think of offhand.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Oh, then it is a rash. And, Sam, just think. We won't be quarantined. Oh, the house is our own again. Oh, Mr. Aldridge.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Yes, Mrs. Jackson?

[Mrs. Aldrich]

I just wanted to say that if we find it is due to strawberries, we'll be leaving the first thing in the morning.

[Mr. Aldrich]

You mean you're staying? Another?

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes, Mother.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Come out in the kitchen. Right this minute?

[Henry Aldrich]

Yeah, I'll be right there. Will it take long? Homer and I are supposed to meet the bus from Chicago.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Wait. Wait a minute.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Mr. Aldrich. I want you to know that we're going to tell everybody about your lovely roadhouse.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, I. Mrs. Jackson, I'm afraid that all of our rooms for tonight are taken.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

You mean you're all filled up? We can't stay.

[Mr. Aldrich]

I can't tell you how disappointed I am. But there's another place in town that I can recommend. The rooms are even more comfortable than ours.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Oh, where is it?

[Mr. Aldrich]

And as soon as you're packed, I'll show you the way over there. Now, if you'll excuse me.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Well, that's very nice of you.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Operator, get me Centerville631. Yes, please.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

I'll go right up and get packed.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Splendid. Henry, I want to have a talk with you.

[Mrs. Aldrich]

Sam, are you really going to let Henry buy a station wagon on credit?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Over my dead body. Hello, Is this the Art Craft Sign Company? I'd like to order a small sign. Rush it's. To read rooms for rent. Tourists welcome. Got that? Fine. And take it over and stick it on the front lawn of Will Brown's house.

[Henry Aldrich]

But, Father, if you don't want to take in any more rumors, would you at least be willing to let me build some cabins?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Where?

[Henry Aldrich]

Out in the yard.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Henry, you may not build any cabins in our yard.

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee whiz, Father, with all my ideas for making money, you just discouraged me.

[Mr. Aldrich]

On the contrary, Henry. I'm going to let you make some money.

[Henry Aldrich]

How, Father?

[Mr. Aldrich]

From now on, for every idea you get, I'll pay you $1 not to use it.

[Narrator]

The Aldrich family, as transcribed is written by Clifford Goldsmith. Henry is played by Bobby Ellis and Homer by Jack Grimes. Mr. And Mrs. Aldridge are house Jamison and Katherine Rourke. Your announcer is Dick Dudley. Listen again next week, same time, same station for another sparkling half hour with the Aldrich family.

[Henry Aldrich]

Good night, everybody.