Aldrich Family - Homer Expects a Surprise Party for Himself

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Aldrich Family - Homer Expects a Surprise Party for Himself

Air Date: March 10, 2026
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Theme: Classic Comedy of Misunderstandings and Small-Town Family Life

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Overview

This episode of "Harold's Old Time Radio" features a delightfully chaotic installment of the classic series The Aldrich Family, centering on Homer's escalating belief that his family is throwing him a surprise birthday party. Through quick-witted dialogue, misunderstandings, and slapstick predicaments, listeners are transported into the warmth and muddle of golden-age suburbia. The comedy unspools as efforts to keep Homer out of the house—to prevent him from discovering his father's painting project—morph into a full-blown misunderstanding about a supposed surprise party, leading to escalating confusion, last-minute party planning, and disastrous haircuts.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdown

1. Family Painting Plans (00:43–01:41)

• The Brown family is secretly painting the living room, hoping to keep Homer away to avoid mishaps.
• Quote: Will Brown (about Homer): "He'd step in a pot of paint and crack up your whole house." [01:27]

2. Homer's Chemistry Experiments (01:41–03:35)

• Homer is more interested in a big chemistry "experiment"—inventing a hair restorer—than in his own birthday approaching.
• Quote: Homer: "If it makes cakes rise, it might do the same thing for hair." [05:14]
• A running gag: Homer's experiment involves baking soda and yeast, with Alice Brown admitting to using his chemistry set for making cake.

3. The Plot to Get Homer Out of the House (03:52–04:40)

• Henry Aldrich is enlisted to distract Homer and keep him out while the painting is underway.
• Quote: Henry: "All I have to do is smile at Homer and gee whiz, I can get him to do anything I want." [04:16]

4. Homer Suspects a Surprise Party (06:12–08:40)

• Homer's stubborn refusal to leave leads to increasingly desperate attempts from Henry.
• Homer's suspicion escalates: "I'm being thrown a surprise party tonight." [07:34]
• The misunderstanding widens as Homer confides in Willie, certain the family is plotting something special.

5. Homer's Investigation at the Bakery (11:28–13:10)

• Suspicious, Homer checks the local bakery thinking his mother ordered a birthday cake, but learns she ordered just six donuts.
• Quote: "You couldn't be mistaken, could you? ...Do you suppose my mother could have ordered a cake that said, 'Happy Birthday, Homer' and you thought she said, 'Happy Anniversary, Virgie and Fred'?" [12:26]

6. Escalating Confusion and Party Planning (16:14–17:17)

• Homer begins inviting friends to his own "surprise" party, expecting a crowd, while his mother scrambles to adjust.
• The donut order balloons as Homer, assuming a large crowd, requests even more.
• Quote: "Maybe you better stop by the bakery on your way and order three more dozen... Donuts." [16:57]

7. The Theater Incident & Haircut Mishaps (17:37–22:26)

• Henry loses Homer at the movie theater and ends up in trouble for disturbing a lady, requiring his father's intervention.
• Homer visits the barber for a stylish cut for the "party," resulting in a lopsided look.
• Memorable moment: Henry: "Where did you go for that drink of water, to Niagara Falls?" [21:01]

8. The Realization and Party Chaos (22:38–24:53)

• The Browns realize they've accidentally created an actual surprise party to meet Homer's expectations.
• Multiple donut shipments arrive due to Homer's calls.
• The party devolves into donut-based games and general chaos.
• Quote: "He looks like an eggplant!" – Henry, describing Homer's disastrous haircut. [24:19]

9. Resolution and Final Laughs (24:38–25:25)

• Homer calls home from the bakery where he's taken a job making donuts, content with his evening despite missing the party.
• Alice Brown discovers her hair is turning green due to paint mishaps, closing with a final gag.
• Quote: "She was. It's turning green." [25:14]

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• "He'd step in a pot of paint and crack up your whole house." — Will Brown [01:27]
• "If it makes cakes rise, it might do the same thing for hair." — Homer Brown [05:14]
• "I'm being thrown a surprise party tonight." — Homer Brown [07:34]
• "You couldn't be mistaken, could you? ...Happy birthday, Homer...Happy anniversary, Virgie and Fred." — Homer Brown [12:26]
• "Where did you go for that drink of water, to Niagara Falls?" — Henry Aldrich [21:01]
• "He looks like an eggplant!" — Henry Aldrich [24:19]
• "She was. It's turning green." — Homer Brown [25:14]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:43 – The Browns plot to keep Homer away while painting.
• 04:16 – Henry assigned to distract Homer.
• 07:34 – Homer suspects a surprise party.
• 12:26 – Homer's investigation at the bakery.
• 16:57 – Donut order balloons as Homer invites more guests.
• 21:01 – Henry's theater mishap.
• 22:38 – House party chaos and donut games.
• 24:19 – Reveal of Homer (and Henry’s) bad haircut.
• 25:14 – Discovery of Mrs. Brown’s green hair.

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Episode Tone & Style

• Classic, witty 1940s-style family comedy with slapstick elements and fast-paced dialogue.
• Language is light-hearted and wholesome, with plenty of youthful innocence and playful ribbing.
• The episode captures the timeless appeal of misunderstanding-driven sitcoms, rooted in everyday family life.

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Summary Verdict

This episode delivers a textbook example of comedic misunderstanding, escalating from a simple home improvement project into a full-blown farce involving mistaken surprise parties and donut deliveries. The rapid banter and escalating complications showcase why The Aldrich Family was a staple of radio's golden age, providing laughs that remain relatable and timeless for audiences of all ages.

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Transcript

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[Narrator]

You don't need to tie a string around your finger in order to remember the teenage boy you once knew. Or once were. Any boy will bring back those memories. Especially if he is Henry Aldrich. The scene opens in Homer Brown's house. The time is early afternoon.

[Will Brown]

Elizabeth, is the coast clear?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Yes, Will.

[Alice Brown]

Homer's upstairs in his room.

[Narrator]

Good.

[Will Brown]

Give me a hand with these things.

[Alice Brown]

My goodness. We're all these pots and brushes just

[Homer Brown]

to paint the living room woodwork.

[Narrator]

Not so loud.

[Will Brown]

You want Homer to hear? When's Henry coming over?

[Alice Brown]

He should be here any minute now. Will, I can't understand why you don't want Homer around when you paint.

[Will Brown]

I'm just thinking of you.

[Narrator]

Elizabeth.

[Will Brown]

You just stepped in a pot of paint and crack up your whole house.

[Alice Brown]

What makes you think so?

[Will Brown]

He's Homer, isn't he?

[Alice Brown]

But you could make an exception this once. After all, it's his birthday next week.

[Will Brown]

I know. And I bought him a ukulele. That's enough for any boy.

[Alice Brown]

Mother, does that sound like Homer?

[Will Brown]

Elizabeth, don't be foolish. Hyperpink will miss but quick if he sees this stuff.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'm sorry.

[Will Brown]

Hand me those pots.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Oh, my goodness.

[Alice Brown]

You're not behind the sofa.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Are you in the living room? Yes, dear.

[Homer Brown]

Didn't you hear me calling? Why, what's that sticking out from behind the sofa?

[Will Brown]

Who do you think he.

[Homer Brown]

Father. From this angle, I didn't recognize you. Did you lose something?

[Will Brown]

No.

[Homer Brown]

Oh, you're fixing the sofa.

[Henry Aldrich]

No.

[Homer Brown]

Doing exercises?

[Henry Aldrich]

No.

[Will Brown]

Hoban. I'm playing hide and seek with Mother.

[Alice Brown]

No.

[Homer Brown]

Who's this?

[Alice Brown]

Dear, did you walk to me for something special?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Oh, yeah.

[Homer Brown]

Did you see my chemistry chef?

[Alice Brown]

Your chemistry chef?

[Homer Brown]

Boy, here I am, ready to start the biggest experiment of my life and it's disappeared.

[Alice Brown]

It's on the bottom shelf of the pantry. I borrowed it to bake that chocolate cake the other day.

[Homer Brown]

You made it with my chemistry chef? No wonder I felt so peculiar.

[Alice Brown]

Dear, you felt peculiar because you ate five pieces. All I borrowed was your sodium bicarbonate. It's the same as baking soda it is.

[Narrator]

Yes.

[Will Brown]

Now go get it.

[Homer Brown]

Sure, Father. But do you think it's very scientific to put anything in a chemistry set you can bake a cake with?

[Will Brown]

Now, let's see. I think this is the right price.

[Alice Brown]

If you won't let Homer take too, I think you could at least wait till he's out of the house before you start.

[Will Brown]

I'm not starting, but it can't hurt to test the color. And now, stand back.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Don't feel your flattery.

[Will Brown]

I'll never make it back to the soap.

[Elizabeth Brown]

I can't.

[Will Brown]

Stand in front of me.

[Homer Brown]

Is it all right if I borrow a few things from the kitchen?

[Elizabeth Brown]

What for?

[Homer Brown]

My experiment. If you can use chemistry to bake a cake, why not vice versa?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Very well.

[Alice Brown]

If you promise to return everything, you can borrow what you need.

[Homer Brown]

I already have. And, Mother?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Yes? I is.

[Homer Brown]

You're looking for Father? He's under the piano.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Hold on.

[Will Brown]

Go up to your room.

[Homer Brown]

Stay under there. Father, I'm going.

[Alice Brown]

Will Brown.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Just look. You've got green paint all over everything.

[Will Brown]

Elizabeth, it isn't all over everything. Just a few spots on the wall

[Narrator]

and a little on the ceiling.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Hey, Homer.

[Will Brown]

Henry, come in here.

[Homer Brown]

Hi, Mr. Brown.

[Henry Aldrich]

Hi, Mrs. Brown.

[Alice Brown]

You started painting yet?

[Will Brown]

Henry, quiet. Homer's right upstairs in his room.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, was I raising my voice?

[Will Brown]

I'm afraid you would. Henry. Are you sure you have everything straight?

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure. I'm to get Homer out of the house and not bring him back until you're through fooling around with the woodwork. Henry, I'm not fooling around.

[Narrator]

Do you think you'll have any trouble

[Will Brown]

getting Homer out of the house? Sometimes he's as stubborn as a mule.

[Alice Brown]

Will Brown. It's just as when he gets something in his mind, he finds it hard getting it out.

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee, you don't have to worry, Mr. Brown. All I have to do is smile at Homer and Gee whiz, I can

[Homer Brown]

get him to do anything I want.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Excuse me, Homer. Bill, what are you going to do

[Alice Brown]

about those green spots?

[Will Brown]

Oh, just hand me the Serpentine.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Homer? Homer, are you up in your room? Hi. I am.

[Homer Brown]

Come on in.

[Henry Aldrich]

Thanks.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Say, Homer, what do you say with

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee whiz, What are you making with that chemistry set?

[Homer Brown]

Money.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, that's against the law.

[Homer Brown]

Oh, I don't mean our making the money kind of money. I'm inventing a hair grower.

[Henry Aldrich]

What for?

[Homer Brown]

To grow hair. On what heads? Be whiz.

[Henry Aldrich]

But, Homer, you've already got more hair than you need. I know.

[Will Brown]

Gee Whiz looks like A head of lettuce.

[Homer Brown]

Now, Henley, I'm not making it for myself.

[Henry Aldrich]

No, no.

[Homer Brown]

It's just for human beings in general. There's an article in this magazine that says the guy who finds something like that will make a fortune.

[Elizabeth Brown]

No kidding.

[Homer Brown]

Now stand back while I put in some yeast.

[Henry Aldrich]

Yeast?

[Homer Brown]

If it makes cakes rise, it might do the same thing for hair.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Homer.

[Henry Aldrich]

Old timer, why fool around with things like Hair Restore when we could be outside doing really important things?

[Homer Brown]

Like what?

[Henry Aldrich]

Like.

[Will Brown]

Well.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Did you know they're starting to rip

[Henry Aldrich]

up Main street today?

[Homer Brown]

They are?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Sure.

[Henry Aldrich]

From Birch to Sycamore. You see the kind of important things that are going on in the outside world.

[Homer Brown]

Growing hair is important.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Sure.

[Henry Aldrich]

But, Homer, did I mention I was planning on our going to a movie, too?

[Will Brown]

On me?

[Homer Brown]

No, thanks.

[Henry Aldrich]

Plus a soda afterwards.

[Homer Brown]

I'm not interested.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, how about no?

[Elizabeth Brown]

But, Homer, look, I'm smiling. No. Homer, stop being stubborn as a mule.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, will you please stop dragging.

[Henry Aldrich]

But, Homer, the fresh air is good for you.

[Elizabeth Brown]

It's so good for me.

[Homer Brown]

Why are you forcing me to go to the moldy?

[Alice Brown]

I'm not forcing you.

[Homer Brown]

Then let go of my arm.

[Henry Aldrich]

Look, Homer, Old timer, just give me one good reason why you don't want to go to the movies.

[Homer Brown]

I've seen the pictures.

[Henry Aldrich]

I know, but give me one other good reason.

[Homer Brown]

Why should I go to the movies when I could be making a million dollars and helping my fellow man to boo. I'm going home.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, you can't go home, and that's that. Why not? Homer, please don't ask me why not.

[Elizabeth Brown]

You just.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, what do you mean by a remark like that?

[Homer Brown]

Oh, oh, Henry, answer me one question. Did my parents tell you to keep me away?

[Henry Aldrich]

Your parents? And Homer, you have no right to ask that.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Oh, look, Homer, let me get you

[Henry Aldrich]

a whole bag of sour balls all for yourself.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Sour ball?

[Henry Aldrich]

I'd be only too happy to go in the candy kitchen here and buy you some. On me. Now, don't you move, Homer.

[Homer Brown]

Stay right there. Surehand, old timer. Anything you say.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Homer, is that you?

[Henry Aldrich]

Huh?

[Homer Brown]

Oh, hi, Willie.

[Henry Aldrich]

Why are you standing around looking like that?

[Homer Brown]

Like what?

[Will Brown]

Like you're looking with your mouth hanging open and everything.

[Homer Brown]

Boy, Willie, have I been a fool.

[Will Brown]

I know, but why do it in public?

[Homer Brown]

You know what, Willie? I'm being thrown a surprise party tonight.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Your. You know what?

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[Homer Brown]

My parents even have Henry trying to keep me away from the house while they're getting everything ready. Oh, the only thing is, why do you suppose they're throwing it today? My birthday isn't until next week. I don't know. Oh, now that I think of it, my father did mention something about going out of town next week.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure, sure.

[Will Brown]

Well, have a good time, Homer.

[Henry Aldrich]

What do you mean?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Nothing.

[Will Brown]

Just happy returns of the day and

[Henry Aldrich]

all that sort of junk.

[Homer Brown]

Willie, what's the matter?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Oh, nothing, Homer.

[Henry Aldrich]

I guess your mother's just inviting your closest friends.

[Homer Brown]

You mean you weren't invited?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Oh, well, that's okay, Homer. Don't give it another thought.

[Alice Brown]

I don't mind.

[Elizabeth Brown]

I'm not hurt.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'll get over it, Willie.

[Homer Brown]

There must be a mistake somewhere. See where my folks know if there's anybody I want at my party, it's you.

[Henry Aldrich]

You mean, not Homer.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Sure.

[Will Brown]

Course I'm not hurt, you know.

[Homer Brown]

Here comes Henry. I don't want him to know I've caught on.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Oh, sure.

[Henry Aldrich]

Here, Homer. A whole bag of sour balls.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Different colors.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, hi, Willie. Hi, Henry.

[Will Brown]

Welcome, Homer.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'll see you, you know, when at. You know where you are.

[Homer Brown]

Willy, what's he talking about? Oh, nothing, Hen. Old timer, come on, let's go. Go where? To the movies. Even though it's a terrible place picture. I certainly wouldn't deprive you.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, gee whiz.

[Homer Brown]

And I'll tell you what else, Hen. This time it's on me.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Where did you say you were, Henry?

[Henry Aldrich]

At the movies, Mr. Brown.

[Homer Brown]

I'm phoning from there.

[Elizabeth Brown]

You got Homer to go?

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, I got him to go, all right, Homer.

[Alice Brown]

Oh, that's fine. And Mr. Down still has half of the living room walls and the.

[Henry Aldrich]

I thought he Was just doing the woodwork.

[Alice Brown]

Well, his brush splattered once or twice more, so he decided to do a complete job. So keep Homer away as long as possible.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, about that. You haven't heard from Homer in the

[Homer Brown]

past 15 minutes, have you?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Homer, you haven't lost him, have you? No, no, I haven't lost him.

[Henry Aldrich]

He's just a little misplaced, that's all.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Oh, my goodness.

[Henry Aldrich]

Got up to go for a drink of waters and be with. You know how terrible he is on directions. He probably just went back to the wrong seat. Elizabeth here.

[Alice Brown]

Will Henry, Mr. Brown will be very upset if Homer turns up here now.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure, Mrs. Brown. I'll go over the theater with a fine tooth comb.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Goodbye.

[Alice Brown]

Goodbye.

[Will Brown]

Elizabeth, are you through with the phone?

[Henry Aldrich]

All through.

[Will Brown]

I've got to call the hardware store. We'll need some more paint.

[Alice Brown]

But, Will, you had plenty left for the living room.

[Will Brown]

Yes, but I was thinking, if we do the living room, think how shabby

[Narrator]

the hall will look by contrast.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Will Brown. You mean. You splattered again.

[Homer Brown]

Hi, Mr. Dreisel.

[Narrator]

Hello.

[Will Brown]

I'll be with you as soon as

[Narrator]

I get these jelly rolls in the window.

[Homer Brown]

Take your time. Boy, if there's one thing I like to stand around and see, smell, it's a bakery.

[Will Brown]

Now, what can I do for you?

[Homer Brown]

Why, I'm just sort of checking up on. Oh, boy.

[Narrator]

What's wrong?

[Homer Brown]

Nothing. But look in this glass case here.

[Narrator]

Oh, those are my special orders.

[Homer Brown]

That cake in back, the one with pink icing. What does that lettering say?

[Narrator]

Happy Anniversary to Virgie and Fred.

[Elizabeth Brown]

It does?

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Homer Brown]

You know, upside down, Virgie looks something like Homer.

[Narrator]

What is it you're after, Homer?

[Homer Brown]

I look like I'm after something?

[Will Brown]

Yep.

[Homer Brown]

Mr. Streisl, I don't want you to give away any secrets, but did my mother place an order today?

[Narrator]

Yes, she did.

[Homer Brown]

Oh, boy.

[Will Brown]

I've got it written down here.

[Narrator]

Rye bread, half a dozen rolls and some donuts.

[Homer Brown]

That's all?

[Henry Aldrich]

Yep.

[Homer Brown]

You couldn't be mistaken, could you? I mean, do you suppose my mother could avoid a cake if said, happy birthday, Homer? And you thought she said, happy anniversary, Virgie and Fred.

[Narrator]

All she ordered was donuts.

[Homer Brown]

Oh, well, come to think of it, I am pretty fond of donuts.

[Elizabeth Brown]

That's right.

[Homer Brown]

And I guess they are more practical for a party. You don't have to slice them.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Are they?

[Homer Brown]

See, now that I think of it, donuts are perfect.

[Narrator]

Homer, these donuts can't be for a party.

[Homer Brown]

Why not?

[Narrator]

I'm glad it's a pretty Small all party. Your mother just ordered six.

[Homer Brown]

You mean 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Y. Mr. Sil, you must be wrong.

[Narrator]

Wrong?

[Homer Brown]

You must have said six dozen.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Six dozen, sure. Gee.

[Homer Brown]

Wh.

[Henry Aldrich]

How far would six donuts go with

[Homer Brown]

the mob that's coming to my house tonight.

[Narrator]

As the fleet seems proudly out under the Golden Gate Bridge for their spring maneuvers.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer. Homer, are you in this row?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Homer?

[Will Brown]

Young man, would you mind moving?

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes, sir.

[Will Brown]

You're blocking the United States fleet.

[Homer Brown]

Oh, excuse me, Homer.

[Narrator]

In the battle line streams our great fleet as they approach the imaginary enemy.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Hey, Homer, is that you?

[Alice Brown]

Young man, would you please keep quiet?

[Henry Aldrich]

But, lady, could you please tap that fella sitting next to you and ask him if he's Homer Brown?

[Elizabeth Brown]

That's not Homer Brown.

[Henry Aldrich]

It looks just like him.

[Alice Brown]

That's my shopping bag.

[Elizabeth Brown]

It is? See?

[Henry Aldrich]

I was sure I recognized his hair.

[Elizabeth Brown]

That's not hair. That's a head of letter. Now, moving on. Yes, ma'.

[Homer Brown]

Am.

[Henry Aldrich]

Besides, I think I see him down front anyway.

[Narrator]

And now the fleet lets go the first salvo at the enemy hoover.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Homer, don't you realize you're in the wrong screen? Let go. Now on. Are you Homer? I'm just going to let go, you sexy. But I thought. Okay, I can wait. I'm letting go. I'm letting go.

[Narrator]

Donnie, would you please stay behind that screen?

[Homer Brown]

I just wanted to see how you were coming along with my paint.

[Will Brown]

I'm have some press for you in

[Narrator]

just a few minutes, see?

[Homer Brown]

That's okay. I'm supposed to stay away from home until supper time anyway. Yeah, I'm being surprised, you know.

[Will Brown]

That's fine.

[Homer Brown]

That's how I happen to get caught with my pants unpressed. You don't happen to have a door open, do you?

[Narrator]

No, why?

[Homer Brown]

No reason. I just thought I sold a draft. Could I use your phone?

[Narrator]

All you need's a nickel, son. It's a pay phone.

[Homer Brown]

Thanks.

[Will Brown]

Hey, watch it.

[Homer Brown]

There he was. I'm showing again. Look, suppose I wrap this overcoat around my waist?

[Will Brown]

Okay, but be careful.

[Narrator]

We're facing on a public street, you know.

[Homer Brown]

Sure.

[Alice Brown]

Number, please?

[Homer Brown]

ELM911L9 1 1. Yes, ma'.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Am.

[Homer Brown]

Say, mister.

[Narrator]

What is it now?

[Homer Brown]

Could you press those pants so I look a little taller?

[Will Brown]

How could I do it?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Thank you.

[Will Brown]

Like that.

[Homer Brown]

Now what? I know I'm no Taylor.

[Narrator]

And I'm no Miracle man.

[Homer Brown]

Hello? Is this Agnes? Yeah. Hi. Hi.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Hi.

[Homer Brown]

What do you want? Nothing. I just called to ask if your cousin Eloise is still visiting you.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Sure, why?

[Homer Brown]

No reason. But if you want to bring her along tonight. It's perfectly all right. Bring her where? You know, Agnes, you know, we were

[Elizabeth Brown]

just gonna hang around and pull Cassie.

[Homer Brown]

Oh, sure you were.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Listen, Humber.

[Henry Aldrich]

What's up, Agnes?

[Homer Brown]

Don't tell my mother, but I know.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Know what?

[Homer Brown]

About my surprise party tonight.

[Elizabeth Brown]

You're having a party?

[Homer Brown]

You weren't invited either?

[Elizabeth Brown]

No.

[Henry Aldrich]

See?

[Homer Brown]

Where's my mother? Showing all the pieces on this thing.

[Alice Brown]

Just look at me.

[Homer Brown]

If you're definitely to come.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Sure.

[Homer Brown]

And Eloise, too.

[Elizabeth Brown]

How are you, doll? I'll hang up a second. Ready? What are you wearing?

[Homer Brown]

Well, right now? Why? What I usually wear. Only I'll be pressed.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Okay. Boy. And you think all I had to look forward to was pulling Kathy? Hey, Homer.

[Homer Brown]

So long. What's up, Willie?

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, I just ran.

[Homer Brown]

Homer, did you know you had that overcoat on wrong. Never mind, Willie.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, well, the reason I've been looking for you. Charlie Clark and Toby Smith are pretty upset about not being invited.

[Homer Brown]

Them too. Listen, Willie, would you dig them up and tell them it's a mistake and they're definitely to come?

[Henry Aldrich]

Okay.

[Homer Brown]

Maybe you better stop by the bakery on your way and order three more. Dozens of what? Donuts. With all these extra people coming, we're going to need them.

[Henry Aldrich]

Okay.

[Homer Brown]

And do you happen to have five nickels for a quarter? I better check up and see who else my mother forgot to invite.

[Narrator]

And now, getting back to the troubles of Henry Aldrich. When Henry refused to let him go home, Palmer jumped at the conclusion that his parents were throwing him a surprise party. And while he's been checking on all the preparations, Henry has been trying desperately to locate him. The scene opens in a phone booth at the movie house.

[Henry Aldrich]

Mother, are you still there?

[Homer Brown]

Yes, dear. Your father's coming to the phone now.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Are you in some kind of trouble? Trouble? Mother, she is. What makes you think I'm in trouble?

[Henry Aldrich]

Here's your father.

[Will Brown]

Hello, boy.

[Henry Aldrich]

Father, am I in trouble?

[Will Brown]

What happened?

[Henry Aldrich]

Now, why, it's sort of hard to explain, but could you come right down to the Colonial Theater and testify to your son's character? Your character? Yes, sir. And explain to the manager that I'm usually very well behaved and that I've never molested a lady in my life.

[Alice Brown]

Be careful of the kitchen walls, Alice. They are specially painted. I thought Will was just doing the living room woodwork. That's the way it started. And thank goodness he's about through. All he has to finish is the back porch.

[Elizabeth Brown]

My goodness. What happened?

[Alice Brown]

He overlapped.

[Elizabeth Brown]

What?

[Alice Brown]

He overlapped from one room to the other.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Oh, Alice, don't sit on that stool. Why not?

[Henry Aldrich]

He overlapped in the. That too.

[Elizabeth Brown]

In the kitchen. Agnes Brown, I got an act. You a terrible thing. You perfectly terrible thing. Here.

[Alice Brown]

What happened?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Well, my cousin Eloise didn't think we had the strength to do it alone, see?

[Homer Brown]

Do what?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Hold t. So she invited two boys who happened to me falling off her bike over to house us.

[Alice Brown]

I'm afraid I do. Now, don't you think it'd be rude

[Elizabeth Brown]

to tell him to stay home tonight?

[Alice Brown]

I suppose it would.

[Elizabeth Brown]

And I can bring them?

[Henry Aldrich]

Of course.

[Homer Brown]

Bring them where?

[Elizabeth Brown]

They're at a homeless surprise party that you're throwing for them. That I'm. That I'm. Susan, you didn't tell me. Maybe I shouldn't tell you this, Mrs. Brown, but Homer knows. But you. He might have caught on when Henry

[Alice Brown]

tried to keep him away from the house all day.

[Will Brown]

Oh, my goodness.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Elizabeth, you sat down on that stool. I'll go tell Eloise. It's okay for those two boys. How many youngsters are coming, Agnes?

[Alice Brown]

What am I to do?

[Henry Aldrich]

A surprise party.

[Alice Brown]

You mean you didn't know? I've never been so surprised in my life.

[Homer Brown]

Oh, dear.

[Alice Brown]

I'll never be able to get things ready in time. You're going to have the party anyway. One was expecting it.

[Elizabeth Brown]

I have to.

[Alice Brown]

It would break his heart if I didn't. Well, look, Elizabeth, there probably won't be many youngsters. Why not get a few bottles of ginger ale and some cookies and they'll

[Will Brown]

have a lovely time.

[Alice Brown]

It's all right. Hand me the phone. Alice, who are you going to call? Size of bakery and double my order of donuts.

[Will Brown]

All right, Homer. Now, how do you want your hair cut?

[Homer Brown]

Well, Mr. Latham, you notice when you look at my hair in a certain way, it reminds you of a head of letter.

[Will Brown]

Well, now that you mention it, could

[Homer Brown]

you fix it so it looked more like a head of tablets?

[Elizabeth Brown]

No.

[Will Brown]

Try hostel.

[Homer Brown]

Yes, sir.

[Will Brown]

So you're having a surprise party, huh?

[Homer Brown]

Yes, Sir.

[Will Brown]

Don't move.

[Homer Brown]

Mr. Latham, did I mention I'm inventing a hair restorer?

[Narrator]

What for?

[Homer Brown]

To restore hair. When I get it perfected. Would you be interested in trying it out on some of your customers?

[Will Brown]

When you get it perfected, I'd be interested in trying it out on myself. Oh, sure it does. Barber with a bald head is a very poor recommendation. Who's that tapping on the window?

[Homer Brown]

Oh, hi, Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Listen, Homer, where have you been?

[Homer Brown]

What are you mad about?

[Elizabeth Brown]

What am I mad about? What am I mad about?

[Henry Aldrich]

Where did you go for that drink of water to Niagara Falls.

[Homer Brown]

The bakery.

[Elizabeth Brown]

What?

[Will Brown]

I mean, Homer, sit still. This is a ticklish job.

[Henry Aldrich]

It might interest you to know, Homer, that you owe me for a box of chocolates my father had to buy for that lady in the theater. What lady?

[Homer Brown]

Never mind.

[Will Brown]

How do you want me to cut the sides, Homer? Closed or full?

[Homer Brown]

Which will look best on me?

[Will Brown]

It's hard to tell.

[Homer Brown]

Well, make one side close and one side slow, and we'll pick out the style that looks best.

[Will Brown]

Okay?

[Homer Brown]

Tim, look what I picked up. This bag of party snappers.

[Henry Aldrich]

Party snappers? Sure.

[Homer Brown]

You know, you pull these two strings and inside there's a poem.

[Elizabeth Brown]

So what?

[Homer Brown]

Home listen it upon the Was in this one. Truth or dare? Truth or dare. Kiss your girl on top of a chair.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, are you crazy?

[Will Brown]

That's a good one.

[Elizabeth Brown]

But what'd you buy those for?

[Homer Brown]

They're just the thing to brighten up the party. Party?

[Henry Aldrich]

What party?

[Homer Brown]

Henry, you don't have to pretend.

[Henry Aldrich]

I know.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Know what?

[Homer Brown]

The surprise party my folks are throwing for me tonight.

[Elizabeth Brown]

What?

[Homer Brown]

You didn't think I'd be smart enough to figure out why you were keeping you away from home, did you?

[Alice Brown]

Oh, boy.

[Will Brown]

Turn your head, Homer.

[Henry Aldrich]

You're crazy, Homer. There's no party.

[Homer Brown]

Sure, Henry. That's why half the kids in town are coming.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, you've got to listen to reason.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Let go of me, Henry.

[Will Brown]

Boys, what's after those scissors?

[Elizabeth Brown]

Come on.

[Henry Aldrich]

We'll phone your parents and prove it. Henry, let go.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Homer, come on.

[Alice Brown]

It's a lovely party. Elizabeth. What do you suppose is keeping Henry and Homer?

[Homer Brown]

They'll be here soon. I hope so.

[Alice Brown]

Incidentally, Alex, remind me to give you a dozen or so donuts to take home with you.

[Elizabeth Brown]

How many have Mr. Scraggl sent already?

[Alice Brown]

I say 15 dozen, and more arrive every half hour. What have you so got into?

[Elizabeth Brown]

I don't know.

[Alice Brown]

He doesn't even answer his phone. Well, the children seem to be enjoying the donuts.

[Elizabeth Brown]

As a matter of fact, I think

[Alice Brown]

they're playing a little game with them in the kitchen. What sort of game?

[Henry Aldrich]

One I never heard of.

[Alice Brown]

I think Willie called it ringers or something like that.

[Narrator]

There's a bun here to watch after the turpentine.

[Alice Brown]

Oh, did you get the paint off Agnes?

[Narrator]

Most of it. Where's Will?

[Alice Brown]

Out in the backyard. He wanted to finish the garage doors before he soaked his brushes.

[Narrator]

The garage doors?

[Alice Brown]

I'll never know how he overlapped that far.

[Homer Brown]

Do you happen to have any donuts that are more perfect?

[Alice Brown]

More perfect?

[Homer Brown]

Yeah, the last couple of dozen Mr.

[Henry Aldrich]

Streisl sent over have all center holes and it's ruining our game.

[Alice Brown]

Stop running.

[Elizabeth Brown]

I think home is coming up the street. Pull out the lights.

[Alice Brown]

Willing go off.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Adam. Quiet everybody. And remember a good odd surprise when it comes in. They're opening the door now. Anyone home? Where did you come from? He was.

[Henry Aldrich]

Mrs. Brown, what's going on?

[Alice Brown]

Home at the prize party.

[Elizabeth Brown]

What?

[Henry Aldrich]

You mean there really was one?

[Narrator]

Didn't you know?

[Henry Aldrich]

But he was no boy. Mrs. Brown, you certainly could have saved me a lot of trouble if you'd let me know that that's what you were up to.

[Alice Brown]

Henry, what happened to your hair?

[Homer Brown]

My hair?

[Henry Aldrich]

I just got in the way of Mr. Latham's scissors.

[Elizabeth Brown]

My goodness.

[Henry Aldrich]

Boy, if you think I'm bad, you should see Homer. He looks like an eggplant.

[Homer Brown]

Where is he, dear?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, I finally convinced him that there wasn't any surprise party and he went off store.

[Elizabeth Brown]

I'll get it.

[Alice Brown]

Have a donut and some ginger ale.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, you look all worn out.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Hello?

[Homer Brown]

Hello, Mother. I just called it. Tell you I may be a little late getting home.

[Elizabeth Brown]

Homer, where are you?

[Homer Brown]

At Dreisel's Bakery. I got a job for the evening.

[Alice Brown]

What kind of a job?

[Homer Brown]

Making donuts.

[Elizabeth Brown]

What? Come on home.

[Homer Brown]

I can. Mother, we have two dozen to go. And I'm just beginning to get the

[Henry Aldrich]

holes in the center.

[Elizabeth Brown]

O. Henry, what have you done to your hair? Shit. Now with anatomy on the bias. It's cut on the bias.

[Henry Aldrich]

Okay, Agnes? Okay, but where you take a look at your own hair.

[Elizabeth Brown]

What's the matter with it?

[Homer Brown]

She was. It's turning green.

[Elizabeth Brown]

What? Mrs. Brown. Quick.

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