Aldrich Family - Mary's First Job

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Aldrich Family – Mary’s First Job
Date: March 10, 2026

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Overview

This charming episode brings listeners back to the Golden Age of Radio, featuring "The Aldrich Family." The story centers around Mary Aldrich, who decides to take her first job, prompting a whirlwind of rumors, confusion, and comedic misunderstandings in the Aldrich household and amongst their friends. Through witty banter and classic sitcom mishaps, the episode explores family dynamics, the anxieties of change, and the ripple effects of idle gossip—all in the warm, wholesome style of 1940s radio comedy.

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Key Discussion Points & Episode Highlights

1. The Family Grapples with Mary Leaving

• The story opens with Mary Aldrich contemplating her new job, and her parents, Sam and Alice, reacting with a mix of pride and worry. Alice is emotional, fearing for Mary’s well-being, referencing her daughter's "weakness since her tonsils were out" ([05:32]).
• Notable Quote:
  • Alice: "She's always been a little weak since she had her tonsils out." ([05:32])
  • Sam: "That was when she was 12." ([05:37])

2. A Comedy of Misunderstandings: Mary’s “Marriage”

• Henry and Homer eavesdrop and mistake Mary leaving for her getting married, specifically to Kermit Hannigan—a rumor that spreads fast ([04:08]).
• Homer expresses disbelief and analyzes who could possibly want to marry Mary, leading to sweet, if somewhat teasing, affirmations of her character ([04:25], [07:05]).
• Notable Quote:
  • Homer: "Mary? The Kermit Hannigan who’s a reporter on the Times?" ([04:40])
  • Henry: "Gee, there’s one swell kid, Mary." ([07:05])

3. The Room-for-Rent Scheme

• Henry and Homer, seizing on the idea that Mary’s room will be empty, brainstorm renting it out for cash—complete with negotiations over whether breakfast should be included ([07:37]-[08:49]).
• Notable Quote:
  • Homer: "How much can one egg and one orange and one cup of coffee cost? 10 cents. 15 at the most. 20 tops." ([08:27])

4. Confusion Multiplies: Alvin Springer Enters the Picture

• Rumors intensify when soda shop owner Mr. DeHaven hears of Mary’s supposed marriage to Alvin Springer, the town’s hardware store owner, instead of Kermit Hannigan ([13:07], [14:20]).
• Notable Quote:
  • Mr. DeHaven: "You could have bowled me over with a feather when she told me who she was marrying... Alvin Springer." ([14:15])

5. The Truth Comes Out at the Hardware Store

• Mary accepts a job at Springer's Hardware and clarifies she is not planning to get married—at least not yet ([15:49]-[16:16]).
• In a twist, Springer reveals he has just proposed to Mary’s Aunt Harriet, resulting in a comical but sweet moment—Mary kisses him on the cheek as “Uncle Alvin.” ([16:31]-[16:53])
• Notable Quote:
  • Mr. Springer: "I proposed to your Aunt Harriet last night." ([16:40])

6. Henry, Homer, and the Fallout of Gossip

• Henry, still convinced Mary is set to marry Springer, confronts her—only to be chastised for spreading rumors and reminded to respect the Bill of Rights ([17:31]-[17:46]).
• Homer awkwardly proposes to Mary, who graciously turns him down ([18:02]-[18:53]).
• Housing confusion peaks as prospective tenant Chester is left without a room due to the misunderstanding ([19:17]-[20:16]).

7. Resolution: The Truth Restored

• Mary receives flowers from Kermit and a series of earnest but tangled conversations clarify she’s simply taking a job at the hardware store, not marrying Alvin Springer ([21:14]-[23:22]).
• The room-rental farce ends with Homer offering to rent his own room to Chester—but with the punchline that he doesn’t intend to pay a cent ([24:34]-[25:08]).

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On Confusion:
  • Alice (to Homer and Henry): "I never thought you’d stoop as low as spying under the piano on your own sister." ([03:18])
• On the Value of Mary's Room:
  • Mr. DeHaven: "If it’s for rent, my nephew might go as high as $6 a week." ([07:32])
• On Idle Gossip:
  • Alice: "Just because you overheard some idle conversation on a bus, you’re jumping to a conclusion like that?" ([20:28])
• On Young Love:
  • Homer: "If you help me with my algebra, that shouldn’t take more than three or four years." ([18:27])
• Episode Closing:
  • Mr. Aldrich: "Now, wait a minute. Once and for all, we are not renting any rooms in this house." ([24:59])
  • Homer: "But, Mr. Aldrich, that’s the beautiful part of it... I don’t intend to pay a cent." ([25:08])

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Important Timestamps

• Early Family Discussion: [01:10] – [04:07]
• First Rumors Fly: [04:07] – [05:56]
• Room-for-Rent Shenanigans: [07:00] – [09:04]
• Misunderstandings About Marriage: [13:01] – [14:52]
• Mary Takes the Job at Hardware Store: [15:47] – [16:53]
• Awkward Proposals & Housing Problems: [18:02] – [20:16]
• Resolution with Kermit, Mary, and the Truth: [21:11] – [23:22]
• Final Comic Confusion on Renting Rooms: [24:32] – [25:08]

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains the Aldrich Family’s signature warmth, gentle humor, and affectionately satirical look at small-town American life. The dialogue is brisk and playful, full of misunderstandings, earnest pleas, and the lightly exasperated exchanges that characterized early radio sitcoms.

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Conclusion

"Aldrich Family – Mary’s First Job" is a quintessential slice of old-time radio magic, mixing innocence, gentle confusion, and community gossip into a story that’s as endearing now as it was decades ago. Listeners are left with the comforting message that confusion can always be sorted out with a little laughter—and that family will have your back, even when the rumor mill runs wild.

Transcript

[Narrator]

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[Mr. Aldrich]

The Aldrich Family Based on characters originated by Clifford Goldsmith and starring Ezra Stone as Henry with Jackie Kelk as Homer.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Henry. Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Coming, Mother.

[Mr. Aldrich]

When you take a typical American family, plus some friends and neighbors, and then add one teenage boy, well, you needn't bother to stir things up. The boy will always attend to that. Henry Aldrich is no exception to the rule. The scene opens in the Aldrich living room. It's early morning. Now, Alice.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Now, Mother. Sam, I'm not crying.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Of course not, Alice.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Of course not. Mother. Here, take my handkerchief.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Alice, you knew Mary would be doing a thing like this eventually.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Yes. Only Sam, she's so young. You and father wouldn't want me around the house for the rest of your lives, would you?

[Mr. Aldrich]

It's just a matter of getting used to the idea, Alice. You'll get over it in no time.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Of course you will, Mother. It's Henry Aldrich.

[Henry Aldrich]

O gee whiz.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Henry.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Henry Aldrich. How long have you been there under that piano?

[Henry Aldrich]

Why, not long. Mary, dear, please get off the floor

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

with your clean sweater.

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes, Mother.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

And what's in that gunny sack beside you?

[Henry Aldrich]

Gunny sack, Mother, that's no gunny sack.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

No.

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee whiz, no.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Then what is it?

[Homer Brown]

Hi, Mrs. Aldrich.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

My goodness. Sanatoma.

[Mr. Aldrich]

An understandable mistake, Alice. Henry, would you mind telling us what you and Homer were doing under that piano?

[Henry Aldrich]

Doing, Father, if you please. Why, you might say we're looking for a golf ball, Father, that accidentally rolled under there from the hall.

[Mr. Aldrich]

A golf ball?

[Homer Brown]

Yes, sir. And I was helping him.

[Mr. Aldrich]

You don't say.

[Homer Brown]

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Then may I ask why you didn't let us know you were there?

[Homer Brown]

Why? We didn't think it was polite to interrupt you, Henry Aldrich.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I never Thought you'd stoop as low as spying under piano on your own sister. Spying?

[Henry Aldrich]

Mary, I. Spying?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Yes, you were.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, honest, Mary, we hardly heard a word, did we, Homer?

[Homer Brown]

Gee, no. Hardly a word.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Well, then, suppose you each take an apple and go outside.

[Homer Brown]

Outside?

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes.

[Homer Brown]

Before we find out why Mary's leaving home.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Homer.

[Homer Brown]

Mr. Ulrich, I'm not nosy. I'm just naturally curious.

[Mr. Aldrich]

When the time comes for you boys to know, you will be told. Now, run along. Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes, Father. Come on, Homer.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, Alice.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Mother, won't you please give me your permission? Boy.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, why do you suppose they're throwing Mary out of the house?

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, they're not.

[Homer Brown]

No, she's throwing them out.

[Henry Aldrich]

No, she's just leaving peacefully.

[Homer Brown]

What for?

[Henry Aldrich]

Don't you get it? Mary's finally getting married.

[Homer Brown]

Mary?

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure.

[Homer Brown]

Married?

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure.

[Homer Brown]

To a fella home. Well, it's just that I've always looked at her as just a member of your family. Not someone a person would marry. Why not?

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee whiz, when you forget you're prejudiced. Mary's really a darn good looking girl.

[Homer Brown]

She is?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Sure.

[Homer Brown]

Henry. Who do you think she's doing it to?

[Henry Aldrich]

Doing what to getting married to. Gee, Kermit Hannigan, I guess.

[Homer Brown]

The Kermit Hannigan who's a reporter on the Times?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, who else could it be?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Oh, boy.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, you'll be able to get your the paper anytime you want to.

[Henry Aldrich]

Not exactly, Homer. Kermit sort of specializes in obituaries.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Mary, I must start my housework. Won't you say you'll let me first?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Alice? Why not, Sam?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I told you, I. Henry, why aren't you outside?

[Henry Aldrich]

Why, we're just about to go, Mother. Come on, Homer.

[Homer Brown]

Okay. And good luck, Mary.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, we're not supposed to know.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

You see, Mother, Even Homer approves. Dear, Homer is not your mother.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Why not say yes and get it over with?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Well, Mary, will you ask Alvin to let you come home to lunch every day? All the way home.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, Mary, I'm sure he can spare you for that long.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Well, I'll ask him. And tell him, I insist that you take a nap in the afternoon.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Now, Alice.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Sam, she's always been a little weak since she had her tonsils out.

[Mr. Aldrich]

That was when she was 12.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I know, but she's never completely recovered.

[Narrator]

Mother.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Now, Alice, I was 14 when I got my first job and it did me a world of good. Good?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Yes, Sam, but your tonsils were like iron.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Alice, why get so upset over a little thing like Mary getting a job?

[Henry Aldrich]

Sam Aldridge, if Your only daughter were

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

going to work in a hardware store filled with saws and chisels, you'd be upset, too.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Here are your sodas, boys.

[Henry Aldrich]

Thanks, Mr. De Haven.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Now, what'll it be, Mrs. Kilmer?

[Homer Brown]

Gee whiz. Imagine poor little Mary getting married. Kilmer?

[Henry Aldrich]

What's so terrible about that? Gee whiz, all people have to get married sometime.

[Homer Brown]

Show me one person who isn't your Aunt Harriet.

[Henry Aldrich]

She's a rare case, Homer. Besides, she's going to marry Alvin Springer someday.

[Homer Brown]

The one who owns Springer's Hardware?

[Henry Aldrich]

Yeah.

[Homer Brown]

When?

[Narrator]

Someday?

[Homer Brown]

She better hurry if she's going to.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, she's not that old. She's just around 40.

[Homer Brown]

Sure, but where around 40?

[Henry Aldrich]

Just around it. Homer, she's been that way for as long as I can remember.

[Homer Brown]

Well, 40 is a good place to get stuck, I guess.

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee, you know, it's going to feel funny with Mary out of the house.

[Homer Brown]

Funny how?

[Henry Aldrich]

I don't know. I'll miss her. Gee, there's one swell kid, Mary. When I think of all the swell arguments we've had together. Gee, there's one swell kid.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, you'll get over it.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure. But just the same, every time I pass her empty room, I'll get a pain right here.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Excuse me. Henry, did I hear you say you had an empty room?

[Henry Aldrich]

What's that, Mr. DeHaven?

[Mr. Aldrich]

If it's for rent, my nephew might go as high as $6 a week.

[Homer Brown]

$6? Take it, Henry.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Take it.

[Henry Aldrich]

Now, wa a minute, Homer. Mr. De Haven, we're not renting the room. It's just that my sister Mary is getting married. We think.

[Mr. Aldrich]

You don't say. What's that, Mrs. Kilmer? Yes, I'll be right with you. Well, if you decide to rent that room, Henry, let me know.

[Homer Brown]

Gee, Henry, $6. Why did you turn them down?

[Henry Aldrich]

Because it's ridiculous, that's why.

[Homer Brown]

What's ridiculous about it? You said yourself every time you pass her room, you'll get a pain right here.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure. Only what would my father say?

[Homer Brown]

Henry, he'll probably double your allowance if you bring in six extra dollars a week.

[Henry Aldrich]

I don't know.

[Homer Brown]

You might even get more than $6 if you throw in breakfast.

[Henry Aldrich]

Breakfast? Homer, my mother would never agree.

[Homer Brown]

Why not? What's one more stranger at breakfast?

[Henry Aldrich]

But that takes all the profit out of it.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, how much can one egg and one orange and one cup of coffee cost? 10 cents. 15 at the most. 20 tops.

[Henry Aldrich]

Suppose he wants two eggs?

[Homer Brown]

We'll put that in the contract. One egg or his rent goes up. Well, As a matter of fact, if we're getting eight for breakfast, think of what we could get if we threw in dinner.

[Henry Aldrich]

Now listen, Homer.

[Homer Brown]

Henry, if your mother doesn't object to breakfast, why should she to d.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

But Daisy. Oh, my goodness. Who was that on the phone? Mary Daisy Harper. And Mother, she's never said anything so strange to me in my life. Strange? How? Well, I no sooner lifted the receiver when she said, why didn't I tell her first? And then she burst out crying.

[Henry Aldrich]

What?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Then she hung up. Why do you suppose made her say that? I can't imagine. Unless.

[Henry Aldrich]

Unless what?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

You don't think she wanted that job at Springer's too? You think so? Well, my goodness, she certainly has her nerve. Especially when she knows I'm taking the job because of Kermit.

[Henry Aldrich]

Kermit?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Yes. He asked me what I did during the day and. Mother, I've never been so tongue tied in my life. I'll see who that is. Hello, Alice.

[Mr. Aldrich]

This is Sam. Do you know any other Aldrich's in Centerville?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Are there Aldriches?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Yes. That might rent rooms?

[Henry Aldrich]

No, Sam.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Why?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I just had a call from a man who heard from another man that we have a room for rent. We? With breakfast.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

My goodness. What did you tell him?

[Mr. Aldrich]

That he obviously had the wrong party.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I should say so. My goodness, we just about have enough room for ourselves.

[Henry Aldrich]

Can you hear me from under the car, Chester?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Yeah, sure. Hand me that hammer.

[Homer Brown]

Gee, sure, I'll get it hen.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I'll get it.

[Homer Brown]

Here, Chester.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Oops.

[Homer Brown]

Oh, boy. Did that get you, Chester?

[Mr. Aldrich]

No, not quite. It was a good try, though. Now, what's the best offer you've gotten for the room so far?

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee, a fellow went to $8 not more than 10 minutes ago.

[Mr. Aldrich]

As high as that?

[Homer Brown]

Did we mention breakfast was included?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Yeah, and it's a nice room.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'll say. It has double exposures.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, yeah.

[Homer Brown]

The person who's moving out had it for nearly 19 years.

[Mr. Aldrich]

You don't have. Where is this room, Henry?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, if I get permission at our house.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Yours. I didn't know you had an extra room.

[Henry Aldrich]

We don't, but we're losing Mary.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Mary? Your sister? She's sick?

[Henry Aldrich]

No, she's getting married.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, you don't say. Who's a lucky guy?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, I'm not absolutely positive. And gee, I wouldn't want to start any unfounded rumors.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, naturally. Henry, I'll take the room.

[Homer Brown]

You will? Oh, boy.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Henry, to tell you the truth, I'm not very happy where I am.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, I'll tell you, I'll have to get my mother and father's permission first.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, that shouldn't be any trouble, should it?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, I don't think so, Henry.

[Homer Brown]

You won't have any trouble at all.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Okay. Now, will you excuse me when I

[Henry Aldrich]

make a phone call?

[Homer Brown]

Sure, Chester, old kid. Henry, why don't we celebrate with a soldier?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Number, please.

[Mr. Aldrich]

L996.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

L996.

[Henry Aldrich]

Henry, were you calling?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I. Chester, how are the acoustics in Mary's room?

[Homer Brown]

The acoustics?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, Mary never had any trouble with them.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Mrs. Smith, this is Chester. You know, the fellow who has your front room.

[Narrator]

Yes.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Mrs. Smith, are you still against my practicing in my room?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I am.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, in that case, Mrs. Smith, it may interest you to know that I'm taking my instrument and moving.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Well, I'm certainly glad to hear that. I've got at least 20 people waiting to snap up that room. Mr. DeHaven, could I have a tube of toothpaste, please?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I sure think. Mary, Here you are. I guess you're looking forward to the big day.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

My goodness. How did you hear about that?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, I heard. Congratulations.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Thank you, Mr. DeHaven.

[Mr. Aldrich]

You must be pretty excited.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I am. It's my first.

[Mr. Aldrich]

I. I assumed it was.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Here's the money for the toothpaste.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Thank you. Who's the. The lucky man.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Aren't you nice? I wouldn't call him lucky exactly. I'm very inexperienced. But it's Alvin Springer.

[Henry Aldrich]

Who?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Alvin Springer?

[Mr. Aldrich]

The Alvin Springer? That Alvin Springer?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Yes. I've got to run along now. If you need any hardware, drop in.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Yes, yes, thank you, I will.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Oh, gee whiz, can't you watch, will you? Oh, my goodness, it's you two.

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee whiz. Hi, Mary.

[Homer Brown]

Hi, Mary.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Henry, I'm in a hurry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Goodbye, Mary.

[Homer Brown]

Goodbye, Mary. Henry, now that I take a good look at her.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

You're right.

[Homer Brown]

She's darn pretty.

[Henry Aldrich]

I know.

[Homer Brown]

Gee, the more I look at her, the more I wish I'd noticed her when she was available.

[Henry Aldrich]

Palmer, you and Mary.

[Homer Brown]

What's so crazy about that?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, hello there, boys.

[Henry Aldrich]

Hi, Mr. De Haven. Two double skyscrapers.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Yes, sir.

[Homer Brown]

And, Mr. De Haven, in view of business conditions, I don't think we can let your nephew have it for six.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Have what?

[Henry Aldrich]

Mary's room.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, yes. Well, Henry, you could have bowled me over with a feather when she told me who she was married.

[Henry Aldrich]

She told you?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Sure. And the last man in the world I'd think of would be Alvin Springer.

[Homer Brown]

What?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

What?

[Henry Aldrich]

Alvin Springer.

[Homer Brown]

Old Alvin Springer.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, gee whiz, Mr. DeHaven, you must be mistaken. She's not marrying Mr. Springer.

[Mr. Aldrich]

She's.

[Henry Aldrich]

She's marrying Kermit Hannigan.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Henry, she just told me herself. Two skyscrapers coming up.

[Homer Brown]

Gee whiz, Henry. Mr. Springer. Homer. Of course, it has its good side. You'll never have to worry about nuts and bolts again.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, don't be ridiculous. Mr. DeHaven must have misunderstood Mary.

[Homer Brown]

In what way?

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee whiz. Mr. Springer's promise to my Aunt Harriet. Why would he marry Mary?

[Homer Brown]

Henry, tell me the truth. If you had your choice between Mary and your Aunt Harriet, which would you take?

[Mr. Aldrich]

And now, getting back to the troubles of Henry Aldridge. Henry and Homer have unwittingly started a rumor that Mary is about to be married. But when the story returns to the boys, they're dumbfounded to learn that old Alvin Springer has entered the picture as Mary's prospective bridegroom. The scene opens in Alvin's hardware store. It is later that day.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Hello there, Mr. Springer.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, hello, Mary.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I thought I'd stop by and tell you I can take the job.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, that's fine.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

My goodness, I had a terrible time before they said yes. Why is everyone so against women working?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Speaking of that. Mary.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Yes, Mr. Springer?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I hope you won't think I'm prying, but. Well, once you start working here, you'll stay, won't you?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

My goodness, why shouldn't I?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Well, I've been hearing a rumor that. You see, Mary, it takes time to train someone, and once I do, I want to be sure. You're not planning on getting married, are you?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

My goodness, no.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Good.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

That is, My goodness, yes. I mean, naturally, I hope to marry someday, but the young man I have in mind feels he should work his way out of obituaries. And you know how long a thing like that can take.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Now, don't get the idea I'm against marriage. As a matter of fact, can you keep a secret?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Oh, yes.

[Mr. Aldrich]

I proposed to your Aunt Harriet last night.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

You did? Well, my goodness, I'm so happy I'm going to kiss you. There, Uncle Alvin.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, Mary. Right in the front window of the staircase.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Oh, my goodness. Why not? We're practically in the same family.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Yes, now that you mention it.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Well, I've got to be going.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, goodbye, Mary. See you Monday morning, nine o'.

[Kermit Hannigan]

Clock.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Nine o' clock sharp.

[Homer Brown]

Now, wait a minute, Henry. Shouldn't you count to 10 first? Henry.

[Mr. Aldrich]

My goodness.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Why are you so flushed?

[Henry Aldrich]

Mary, I didn't believe it when I heard it. And boy, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I'd never believed it.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Believe what?

[Henry Aldrich]

Naturally, you're free to do whatever you please, but you certainly ought to think of your family.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

What are you talking about?

[Henry Aldrich]

You know very well. And I certainly don't blame mother for not wanting to give her permission.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Henry, why should you object to that?

[Henry Aldrich]

Why not? Boy, I'll be the laughing stock of Centerville just because I.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Why, Henry, I never imagined you were that old fashioned.

[Henry Aldrich]

What?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

And this is a free country and I thank you to remember the Bill of Rights.

[Henry Aldrich]

Okay, Mary, okay. But wait until father hears about this.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Henry, come back. It may interest you to know he already has.

[Homer Brown]

Mary.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Yes, Homer?

[Homer Brown]

Mary, I may have a way out.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Out of what?

[Homer Brown]

Mary. Mary, if I were to ask you to wait for me, would it sound ridiculous?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Wait for you to what?

[Homer Brown]

Gee, it already sounds ridiculous.

[Mr. Aldrich]

How much do you.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

You mean wait for you to marry me?

[Homer Brown]

Are you mad?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Why, no. Of course I'm not mad, Homer.

[Homer Brown]

You're not? Oh, boy.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

The only thing is, of course I'd

[Homer Brown]

have to keep going to school until maybe someday I graduate. But if you help me with my algebra, that shouldn't take more than three or four years. Homer. And naturally you'd have to get my parents consent to give me away. But that shouldn't be too hard.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Homer.

[Homer Brown]

Yes, Mary, dear?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Homer, naturally I'm very flattered. You're very sweet to ask me, but I'm afraid it's out of the question.

[Homer Brown]

Well, if it's money you're worried about, Mary, I think I can get my father to raise my allowance.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Homer, I don't have time to explain now, but I'm afraid I have someone else in mind.

[Homer Brown]

I know, but Mary, don't you think I'm an improvement? Mary.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Now, Chester, control yourself. Control myself? Mr. Aldrich, do you realize what your son's done to me? Mrs. Smith has already rented my room. I appreciate that, Chester. I've got my bags and my instrument case outside. Where am I gonna put em? Instrument case? Mr. Aldrich, I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you find me someplace to live. Chester. And until then, there's just one thing I can do. What? Move in here.

[Henry Aldrich]

Here?

[Mr. Aldrich]

In my office. I can sleep on the couch, and if we move the water cooler in here, I can shave by the window. Now wait a minute, Father. Henry, come in here. Oh, boy.

[Henry Aldrich]

Father, do you know what's happened?

[Mr. Aldrich]

I know what's going to happen. You're going to march right out of here and not come back until you found Chester a room.

[Henry Aldrich]

Chester.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, gee, will you sure got me in a fine pickle, Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

I know, but it wasn't definite.

[Narrator]

Henry.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Let's not waste time, Martin. But, Father. You heard him, Henry. And be sure the room's big enough for my glockenspiel.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Mother, I could die. I could just die. Mary, calm down. Mother, how can I? You'll have to try. Your nervous system won't be in any condition for dinner. But, Mother, don't you realize what I heard on the bus?

[Henry Aldrich]

What?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I'm getting married. What? Isn't that wonderful, dear? You mean just because you overheard some idle conversation on a bus, you're jumping to a conclusion like that? Mother, it was Mrs. Kilmer, and she's never wrong. Oh, yes, yes, but who is it? I don't know. Mrs. Kilmer got off the bus before I found out. Oh, my goodness. Do you suppose those roses had anything to do with it? What roses? Well, they came for you a little while ago.

[Mr. Aldrich]

From who?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I don't know. There was no card with them. But do you know what was in the box? I'll answer the door, Mother. Try to control yourself, dear. Your hair's coming down. I'm controlled, Mother. I'm controlled. But isn't this a mystery? What? Kermit.

[Kermit Hannigan]

Hello, Mary.

[Homer Brown]

Hello.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Come in.

[Kermit Hannigan]

Thank you. Did my roses arrive yet?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Oh. Oh, you're the one.

[Kermit Hannigan]

Well, after I heard the news, I thought there to show you how I feel.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Mary, my goodness.

[Kermit Hannigan]

But the reason I came over is. Did you happen to find my umbrella among the roses?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Your umbrella?

[Kermit Hannigan]

It wasn't until I got back to the office that I noticed I had the card that went with. With the flowers in my hand, and my umbrella was gone.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I'll certainly keep my eye out for it.

[Kermit Hannigan]

Thank you.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

And you didn't have to go to anything as expensive as flowers.

[Kermit Hannigan]

That's okay, Mary. After all, a thing like this only comes once in a lifetime. And. Mary.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Yes, Kern?

[Kermit Hannigan]

We'll always be friends, won't we?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I certainly hope so.

[Kermit Hannigan]

And I'm sure you'll be very happy.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

I hope you will be, too.

[Kermit Hannigan]

I'll try, but frankly, it may be a little hard.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Why, Kermit.

[Kermit Hannigan]

Mary, I. I guess this is goodbye.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Goodbye. Aren't you coming over tonight?

[Kermit Hannigan]

Well, Mary, after all, I mean, do you think I should?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

My goodness, why not?

[Kermit Hannigan]

Well, I mean, what'll Mr. Springer say?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Mr. Springer? What does he have to know?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Marry?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Just because I'm going to work in his hardware store?

[Henry Aldrich]

Work?

[Kermit Hannigan]

You're going to work after you're married?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Well, of course, Kermit. That's up to you.

[Homer Brown]

Me?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Yes. I feel the husband should always decide things like that.

[Kermit Hannigan]

Mary. Mary, do you mind if I sit down on this umbrella stand? I suddenly feel weak.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Of course not.

[Kermit Hannigan]

Mary, aren't you marrying Alvin Springer?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

What?

[Kermit Hannigan]

Oh, that.

[Henry Aldrich]

That's what I heard.

[Kermit Hannigan]

I. I mean, someone told me.

[Henry Aldrich]

Henry said.

[Kermit Hannigan]

I think.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Well, if that isn't the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.

[Kermit Hannigan]

You mean you're not.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Now, Kermit, why should I marry someone like Alvin when I knew you were just around the corner? I mean.

[Henry Aldrich]

Mary.

[Kermit Hannigan]

Mary, I.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

What, Kermit, What?

[Kermit Hannigan]

I'm stuck in the umbrella stand.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Hi, there.

[Henry Aldrich]

Could I have my supper now?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Henry Aldrich, you come in here.

[Henry Aldrich]

Mary, I haven't got time to. Kermit, what are you doing here?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Henry Aldrich, what are you going around saying?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, I'm saying something. Mary.

[Kermit Hannigan]

Henry, Mary isn't marrying Alvin.

[Henry Aldrich]

She isn't?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Of course not. I'm just working for him. Well, gee whiz. And you should know better than to start rumors like that.

[Henry Aldrich]

Mary, I give you my word of honor. I didn't start it. No, gee whiz, no. I heard it from someone.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Who?

[Henry Aldrich]

Who?

[Homer Brown]

Let me think.

[Henry Aldrich]

Now, who was it?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Who was it? Henry, is that you?

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, gee whiz. Yes, Father.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Henry, have you found.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Father, aren't you going to say hello to Kermit?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Oh, yes. Hello, Kermit. Henry.

[Kermit Hannigan]

Mr. Aldridge, while I have you here. While I have you here, sir.

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Wait until after dinner. Kermit, we never discuss things with Father on an empty stomach.

[Mr. Aldrich]

What's that, Father?

[Henry Aldrich]

If you're worried as to why I'm home, all I'm going to do is get a little nourishment. Then I'm going to put my nose right back to the grindstone and find Chester a room.

[Mr. Aldrich]

You haven't found one yet?

[Henry Aldrich]

Father, honest, I've looked everywhere. The only empty room I could find was in the ywca.

[Mr. Aldrich]

I see.

[Henry Aldrich]

And they won't let Chester above the ground floor there. Hey, Henry, what's Homer doing here at a time like this?

[Mr. Aldrich]

It must be dinner time.

[Homer Brown]

I've got Chester a room.

[Henry Aldrich]

You have?

[Alice Aldrich (Mother)]

Oh, boy.

[Henry Aldrich]

Father, did you hear that? Gee whiz, Homer. Where did you find one?

[Homer Brown]

Over in my house.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Your house? I didn't know you had an extra.

[Homer Brown]

We haven't. I'm renting him mine. Yours for $14. So, hen, could you come outside and help me with my trunk?

[Henry Aldrich]

What?

[Mr. Aldrich]

Your trunk? What's your trunk doing over here?

[Homer Brown]

Well, gee, Mr. Aldrich, I've got to have someplace to live.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Once and for all, we are not renting any rooms in this house.

[Homer Brown]

But, Mr. Aldrich, that's the beautiful part of it.

[Narrator]

It.

[Homer Brown]

I don't intend to pay a cent.

[Mr. Aldrich]

Listen again next week, same time, same station, for another sparkling half hour with your favorite youngster, his family and his pals. The Aldrich Family, starring Ezra Stone, is written by Clifford Goldsmith.