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Alice Aldrich
Henry. Henry aldrich.
Henry Aldrich
Coming, mother.
Narrator
The Aldrich Family Starring Ezra Stone. Written by Clifford Goldsmith. Brought to you by the makers of those delicious new desserts all America's talking about. Jell O Puddings. In the month of February. You know, fall, the birthdays of two great American presidents. We don't know, of course, whether Henry Aldrich will ever become president. But as the scene opens tonight in the Aldrich family living room, Henry has a birthday and other things on his mind.
Henry Aldrich
Mother, if you could choose anything in the world for your birthday, what would you take?
Alice Aldrich
A million dollars.
Henry Aldrich
Now, Mother, be reasonable. I can't give you as much as that. What would you like right at the moment, Henry?
Sam Aldrich
Your mother would like a mink coat.
Henry Aldrich
A mink coat, Father? A mink coat. Mm. How much would a thing like that cost?
Sam Aldrich
How much do you have?
Henry Aldrich
$2.35. Oh, but that's not important, Father.
Sam Aldrich
No, not at all.
Henry Aldrich
But it isn't. I've got a scheme all worked out. I'll be able to get anything Mother wants. Really, dear, it isn't anything more than you deserve. Mother, could you loan me. Could you loan me $2?
Sam Aldrich
To which one of us are you speaking?
Henry Aldrich
Oh, not to you, Father. I realize I've stretched you to the breaking point as it is.
Sam Aldrich
I'm glad you're aware of that.
Henry Aldrich
How about it, Mother?
Alice Aldrich
How about what, dear?
Sam Aldrich
In case you don't know it, Alice, you're about to be stretched to the breaking point.
Alice Aldrich
What is it you want the $2 for?
Henry Aldrich
To put with the money I have. I'm making an investment. I read a pamphlet, see? It's got the easiest way I ever heard of to make money.
Alice Aldrich
What is it?
Henry Aldrich
Rabbits.
Sam Aldrich
I beg your pardon?
Henry Aldrich
Raising rabbits. They'll double your money overnight.
Sam Aldrich
You don't say so, but they will, Father.
Henry Aldrich
You can't lose.
Sam Aldrich
Where would we keep rabbits?
Henry Aldrich
In the basement?
Alice Aldrich
Well, we're not keeping rabbits in our basement.
Henry Aldrich
Read the pamphlet, Mother. One fella started with just four rabbits, and in two years. He had 700.
Sam Aldrich
And do you think we're going to have 700 rabbits running all over our basement?
Henry Aldrich
Well, I'd make pens for them.
Sam Aldrich
And how would I get into the basement?
Alice Aldrich
Do you remember, Henry, that stray dog that stayed here last week? I had to ask you to feed her every day she was with us.
Henry Aldrich
But that was just one mother. I certainly wouldn't Forget to feed 700.
Sam Aldrich
Incidentally, who's going to pay for the feed for 700?
Henry Aldrich
Oh, they pay for it themselves.
Sam Aldrich
Oh, I see. Out of their own pockets.
Henry Aldrich
Father, everything I suggest you take lightly.
Sam Aldrich
Well, if you think I'm taking this lightly, you're quite mistaken. You're not gonna spend any money on rabbits.
Henry Aldrich
But that's not what I want it for.
Alice Aldrich
I thought that was what you did want it for.
Henry Aldrich
No, Mother, it's to buy some galvanized feeding pans.
Sam Aldrich
What was that?
Henry Aldrich
Feeding pans for the rabbits.
Alice Aldrich
For what rabbits?
Henry Aldrich
For my rabbits. The ones I've got down in the cellar.
Sam Aldrich
You have 700 down there?
Henry Aldrich
No, Father, just four. I'm only beginning. They're beauties too.
Alice Aldrich
Where did you get them, dear?
Henry Aldrich
Happy Taylor gave them to me.
Sam Aldrich
How did the Taylor boy happen to do that?
Henry Aldrich
I don't know. His folks just seem to think we'd like them better than they would.
Alice Aldrich
Yes, how would you like to be generous, dear, and give them back to Happy Taylor?
Henry Aldrich
Mother, don't you want a birthday present?
Alice Aldrich
Not as much as I want a home.
Henry Aldrich
Well, if I give those back, I won't have anything at all.
Alice Aldrich
How about your dog?
Sam Aldrich
He left because of the rabbits.
Henry Aldrich
But, Father, don't you want me to develop responsibility so I'll take care of things and feed them?
Alice Aldrich
Henry, we are not opposed to your developing all the responsibility you want to. But you'll have to find someone to take those rabbits.
Henry Aldrich
Who is there?
Sam Aldrich
Well, how about Tommy Walsh? He has a much larger house than we have.
Henry Aldrich
Well, could I give him the rabbits, but let him keep him here
Sam Aldrich
and your mother and I could live with the waltzes, eh?
Henry Aldrich
Father, you have no idea how I've planned on this.
Alice Aldrich
Supposing you go to the phone, dear, and see whether Tommy wouldn't like to have them.
Sam Aldrich
Now, Henry, if you want a rabbit for a pet, that's one thing. But you're not going to raise rabbits in our basement for the purpose of making money. Now, please call the Walshes.
Henry Aldrich
I'll phone them, but I hope they aren't in.
Sam Aldrich
Well, Alice, in one year we would have had rabbits in every room in the house.
Alice Aldrich
Sam, don't you think we might at least get Henry a dog?
Sam Aldrich
Alice, by tomorrow you'll have forgotten the whole thing.
Alice Aldrich
Perhaps.
Sam Aldrich
He never has kept it anything for more than 24 hours.
Alice Aldrich
Just the same, he might have kept it this.
Sam Aldrich
You mean you want him to raise rabbits?
Alice Aldrich
Well, as he says, it would develop character.
Sam Aldrich
Alice, let's have an understanding right now. Which do you want, Henry to have, character or a father?
Alice Aldrich
A father, dear. Who do you suppose that can be at the door?
Sam Aldrich
Probably Mr. Hubbard. I'll let him in. Hello there, Hubbard.
Mr. Hubbard
Evening. What is it you want repaired?
Sam Aldrich
Oh, the trouble's out in the kitchen. Pipe under the sink.
Henry Aldrich
Hi there, Mr. Hubbard.
Mr. Hubbard
Evening.
Sam Aldrich
Henry, will you take Mr. Hubbard out and show him where that leak is?
Henry Aldrich
Sure. Thanks.
Alice Aldrich
Henry, what did Tommy Walsh say about the rabbits?
Henry Aldrich
His folks weren't in, but he'd be very glad to take them. Mother. This way. Mr. Hubbard.
Mr. Hubbard
Yes, sir. You raise rabbits?
Henry Aldrich
I was going to. Here you are. There's the pipe that's dripping.
Mr. Hubbard
I don't know whether I have a wrench that'll fit that or not.
Henry Aldrich
Want me to look in your bag for you?
Mr. Hubbard
Yeah. No, thank you. It's a good thing you're getting out of this rabbit business.
Henry Aldrich
Don't you recommend it?
Mr. Hubbard
I'd be a rich man now if it weren't for rabbits.
Henry Aldrich
What happened?
Mr. Hubbard
By the time it was over, even my wife left me.
Henry Aldrich
Yeah. Do you want me to hold the screwdriver for you?
Mr. Hubbard
Will you just put it down, please?
Henry Aldrich
Sure.
Mr. Hubbard
I raised beavers once, too.
Henry Aldrich
Make a lot of money on them.
Mr. Hubbard
That was the second time my wife left me.
Henry Aldrich
Well, did she ever come back?
Mr. Hubbard
She did, and she got even with me.
Henry Aldrich
How?
Mr. Hubbard
She went in for raising turkeys.
Henry Aldrich
She make a lot of money?
Mr. Hubbard
That was when I left her.
Henry Aldrich
I see. Well, tell me, did you ever raise silver foxes?
Mr. Hubbard
Just for one winter? There was an experience, yeah. If you want to make money real quick, though, the thing to do is raise pigeons.
Henry Aldrich
Pigeons?
Mr. Hubbard
Yep. That's what I'm going to put every cent I've got into.
Henry Aldrich
Is that right?
Mr. Hubbard
Yes, sir. Once I get it going, I'm giving up plumbing.
Henry Aldrich
Want me to hold that nut?
Mr. Hubbard
Just leave your hands off it.
Henry Aldrich
Yes, sir.
Mr. Hubbard
I figured out there's 300% profit in every pigeon you raise.
Henry Aldrich
As much as that? What do you sell them for? Eating purposes.
Mr. Hubbard
Don't raise that kind. I tried them once. Had to eat them all myself.
Henry Aldrich
Well, what kind? What kind do you raise?
Mr. Hubbard
Carriers.
Henry Aldrich
Carriers, Is that right? The kind that get back home no matter where you take them, huh?
Mr. Hubbard
Yeah. Where's my hammer?
Henry Aldrich
Oh, let's see. Oh, here it is.
Mr. Hubbard
Leave it there, I'll pick it up. I knew a fellow once that raised carrier pigeons and sold them to the army.
Henry Aldrich
Is that what you're going to do?
Mr. Hubbard
Yep, and put them in races. That's where you make the real money. Sometimes you win as much as five or ten dollars.
Henry Aldrich
Gee whiz, I didn't know anything like that was going on. What is it you're looking for, Mr. Hubbard?
Mr. Hubbard
A pair of pliers. Just let me look for them myself.
Henry Aldrich
Do you mind if I point to them?
Mr. Hubbard
Where are they? Oh, yeah.
Henry Aldrich
Gee, there's a business I'd like to go in.
Mr. Hubbard
What's stopping you?
Henry Aldrich
Well, do pigeons take up very much room in a cellar?
Mr. Hubbard
What are you gonna keep them in the cellar for? Why don't you keep them in your attic?
Henry Aldrich
Gee, how do they get along in an attic?
Mr. Hubbard
All you got to do is fix up some hoops and be sure the windows are left open.
Henry Aldrich
I wonder why I didn't think of that myself. Want your Two World bag, Mr. Hubbard?
Mr. Hubbard
Put it right back where it was.
Henry Aldrich
Yes. How much would it cost to go into the pigeon business, Mr. Hubbard?
Mr. Hubbard
Get your head out of the way.
Henry Aldrich
Is that better?
Mr. Hubbard
Yeah, just. Just keep it out.
Henry Aldrich
I guess you don't need any expensive equipment like you do for rabbits.
Mr. Hubbard
All you need is some secondhand coops.
Henry Aldrich
Where could I get those?
Mr. Hubbard
Any reason you couldn't advertise in the morning paper?
Henry Aldrich
You mean advertise? I just say I want some second hand pigeon coops and that's all.
Mr. Hubbard
What else would you suggest?
Henry Aldrich
Sure, and I'd save money. Unless, of course, nobody answered. But then, the way I look at it, you've got to take a gamble at anything if you want to make money. Isn't that the way you look at it, Mr. Hubbard?
Mr. Hubbard
Well, I.
Alice Aldrich
What are you doing out here?
Henry Aldrich
Well, I'm helping Mr. Hubbard find his tools. Mother, could you please stand back so you don't cast a shadow on him?
Alice Aldrich
Oh, my goodness. The way you've been talking out here, I thought you'd have all the problems of the world settled.
Henry Aldrich
Have you heard us?
Alice Aldrich
Well, I haven't heard what it was about.
Ms. Thompson
Hmm.
Henry Aldrich
What time does the Centerville Gazette close?
Alice Aldrich
I have no idea.
Mr. Hubbard
They're open till pretty late.
Henry Aldrich
They are?
Alice Aldrich
Why do you ask, dear?
Henry Aldrich
Oh, no reason. I was just wondering how long they stay open. Is father around? In the living room. Any place. Your father went out. Is that right? He went out.
Alice Aldrich
Mr. Hubbard, will I be in your way Here?
Mr. Hubbard
No, ma'.
Henry Aldrich
Am. Well, goodbye.
Alice Aldrich
Where are you going, Henry?
Henry Aldrich
Just in the living room.
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Henry Aldrich
Look around. Operator. Operator, could you get me the Centerville Gazette, please? Yes, ma'. Am.
Alice Aldrich
Henry, are you in the living room?
Henry Aldrich
I think I am, Mother.
Alice Aldrich
Mr. Hubbard wants to know whether you picked up his screwdriver.
Henry Aldrich
Tell him he'll find it in his left hip pocket.
Alice Aldrich
Thank you.
Henry Aldrich
Hello. Hello. How do I put in an advertisement? Coops. Just ordinary pigeon coops. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. Sign it Henry W. Aldridge. Yeah. About how much will that be? As much as that? Well, would it be cheaper if I left the W out? Well, supposing I leave the Henry out? Okay. Just say reasonable prices paid for old pigeon coops. Sign at Aldridge. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Goodbye.
Alice Aldrich
Henry, will you see who's at the door, please?
Henry Aldrich
Yes, Mother. I'd be very glad to help you, Mother. Gee whiz, Tommy, you over here already? I came over to get my rabbits. Yeah, come on in. Did. Did you Ask your folks whether it'd be all right. I don't know why it wouldn't be all right. Why should I worry them about a little thing like that? Yeah. Well, come on down the cellar stairs. Why don't you want them, Henry? My folks would rather I raise p. Pigeons? Sure. I've become a pigeon fancier. Yeah, sure. I may even raise pigeons for the army. Big money in it. Tommy. Yeah?
Ms. Thompson
Mm.
Henry Aldrich
For the Department of Interior Communications.
Narrator
Yeah.
Henry Aldrich
Your rabbits are around here on the other side of the preserve closet. Oh. Hey, show them to me. Now, listen, before I let you see them. When do I get that? Who's it? You promised me on the telephone. Oh, tomorrow, Henry. I couldn't bring it over tonight. Okay. Oh, here they are in this box. Look at them. That's what I say. Can you beat that? Well, what's the matter? They're eight here. Can you imagine that, huh? But all I want is four. You gotta take eight. I haven't got room for eight. I'm gonna have trouble keeping just four in my closet. Well, you should have gotten here sooner, Tommy. Well, there certainly isn't my fault.
Alice Aldrich
Henry, is that Tommy down there?
Henry Aldrich
Yes, Mother. That's Tommy.
Alice Aldrich
Is he taking all four of the rabbits?
Henry Aldrich
Yes, Mother.
Alice Aldrich
Certainly glad to hear that, dear.
Henry Aldrich
Tommy. Tommy, when we go up, don't say anything about the four I'm keeping. Why not? Maybe I can surprise my mother after all. Boy, am I going to make money. Rabbits in our basement and pigeons in our attic.
Narrator
Our scene shifts for the next moment, ladies and gentlemen, to a department store where we clear up the mystery of the lady.
Alice Aldrich
Good evening.
Narrator
And the gong behind the counter on the fifth floor. Lamps, china, curtains, drapes, rugs, house furnishings and so forth. There stands a clerk. Approaching him is the lady who says,
Alice Aldrich
last week I bought a piece of merchandise in this department. I have it here with me. It's a dinner gown.
Sam Aldrich
Yes, madam.
Alice Aldrich
You see, I used to have a lot of trouble. Every night getting my husband and the children to the dinner table. They'd keep right on reading the paper or listening to the radio or whatever else they were doing when I called them. So I bought this gong.
Sam Aldrich
An excellent idea, madam, but.
Alice Aldrich
But now I want to return it, if I may.
Sam Aldrich
Well, is anything wrong with it, madam? Let's have a look at it. Sounds all right to me.
Alice Aldrich
Oh, the gong's all right. But recently I've been serving Jell o chocolate pudding for dinner. Now, when I start to ring the gong, my husband and the children are sitting at the table. Before I get A chance to hit it.
Narrator
And the very delicious moral to that story is ladies and gentlemen, folks certainly do get to the table and get there in a hurry when they know there's Jell O chocolate pudding for dessert. Because, friends, it's a grand treat that everybody loves young and old alike. Nothing can compare with its rich, creamy smoothness and its thrilling chocolate flavors. And you'll be simply delighted to find how quickly and easily you can prepare Jell O chocolate pudding how inexpensive it is and how many different and delicious desserts you can make with it. So try it tomorrow. Why don't you start right away to treat the folks at your house to this new family favorite swell, luscious, easy to eat Jell O chocolate pudding. Now getting back to the problems of Henry Aldrich. Without telling his parents, Henry has inserted an advertisement in the town paper and signed it with the name Aldrich. The scene opens the following day in his father's office.
Sam Aldrich
Ms. Thompson, I don't have a great deal of time. Will you take a letter in a hurry, please?
Ms. Thompson
Yes, Mr. Aldrich.
Sam Aldrich
To the Brown Realty Company. Dear Mr. Brown, this is to advise you that unless steps are taken at once.
Ms. Thompson
Mr. Aldrich's office. Yes, yes. No, sir, you must have the wrong number, I'm afraid.
Sam Aldrich
Wrong number?
Ms. Thompson
Yes, sir. Now then, you just started a letter to the Brown realty company. Dear Mr. Brown, this is to advise you that unless steps are taken at once.
Sam Aldrich
Yes? This is to advise you that unless steps are taken at once.
Ms. Thompson
Mr. Aldrich's office. What was that? I don't understand. You say that slowly, please. One moment, Mr. Ulrich. Somebody wants to talk to you about something.
Sam Aldrich
Let me have it. Samuel Orich speaking. What number are you calling? Pigeon Cooper? Did you say pigeon coops? My name is Ulrich. I'm the only Ulrich in town. But I don't buy pigeon coops. Who is this talking, Charlie? Oh, you can't fool me, Charlie. Now listen, Charlie, I'm busy as the deuce right now. I'll give you a call later. Don't bother me. Goodbye. Charlie Gosling would try to be funny just when I'm trying to get my work done. Tried to make me think his name was Tony Vettito.
Ms. Thompson
To be quite honest, Mr. Ulrich, I never did like Mr. Gosling.
Sam Aldrich
Well, we get a lot of business from him. Now then, where were we?
Ms. Thompson
This is to advise you that unless steps are taken at once.
Sam Aldrich
Is that all the farther we got? It is unless steps are taken at once. What was it I was going to say?
Ms. Thompson
I have no idea.
Sam Aldrich
Oh, I remember. Toward improving the property occupied by my. Let me answer that. Sam Allred speaking.
Narrator
Who?
Sam Aldrich
Yes, Charlie. Still selling pigeon coops? We'll take all 15. Yes, deliver them right to our house. I don't care where you put them. Put them in the living room. Yes, and don't bother me anymore just because Charlie Gosling happens to be a client. How far are we?
Ms. Thompson
Right where we were.
Sam Aldrich
Yes. You know, it would be just like Charlie to go and find 15 pigeon coops and deliver them to our house. I remember one other practical joke he tried to play. Ms. Thompson, please answer that. If it's Charlie again, tell him I've gone for the day.
Henry Aldrich
Hello?
Ms. Thompson
Yes, sir. One moment, please. Mr. Aldrich, it's the Centerville Feed Company. They want to know whether they may supply you with cracked corn.
Sam Aldrich
For what?
Ms. Thompson
One moment. Hello? Mr. Aldrich wants to know what he would use cracked corn for. No, Mr. Aldrich has not changed his business. He's still practicing law. Goodbye.
Sam Aldrich
Cracked corn. Cracked. Did that sound like Charlie Gosling?
Ms. Thompson
My suspicion is that was Mr. Gosling.
Sam Aldrich
Oh, no, no. He probably phoned the Centerville Feed Company and told them to call here now. Unless steps are taken at once to him. Who's at the door?
Henry Aldrich
You, Mr. Aldridge? I am. About how many pigeon coops did you want?
Sam Aldrich
I beg your pardon?
Henry Aldrich
How many did you want?
Sam Aldrich
Did you say pigeon coops?
Henry Aldrich
Pigeon coop. A paw can let you have all you need up to 60.
Sam Aldrich
May I ask who sent you here?
Henry Aldrich
I don't know. My paw just told me to come up here.
Sam Aldrich
Where is your paw?
Henry Aldrich
Down in front. Had a park double. We got all 60 down there.
Sam Aldrich
You have 60 pigeon coops down in front for me? Sure. You want them brought up here to the office? No.
Henry Aldrich
Can also fix you up with 60 feeding trays. No.
Ms. Thompson
I'll answer the phone.
Sam Aldrich
Now then, young man, may I ask how your father happened to come here? I don't know. Do you know a gentleman by the name of Charles Goslin?
Henry Aldrich
Never heard of him.
Sam Aldrich
Well, here's what you're to do. You're to deliver your confounded coops to Mr. Gosselin's residence at 12 Church Street. All 60? All 60 and all 60 feeding trays.
Henry Aldrich
Who pays for them?
Sam Aldrich
Send the bill to Mr. Gosselin.
Henry Aldrich
Sure. Take them over right away.
Sam Aldrich
That's fine.
Ms. Thompson
Mr. Aldrich, Mrs. Aldrich is on the phone.
Sam Aldrich
What does she want?
Ms. Thompson
There's a gentleman by the name of a Cheeto at your house unloading pigeon coats. Insists upon leaving them in the living room.
Sam Aldrich
Now, I know it was Charlie.
Ms. Thompson
Mrs. Aldrich says he had nothing to do with it.
Sam Aldrich
Well, then the fellow must be insane.
Ms. Thompson
That's why she says you're to come over.
Sam Aldrich
Yes, yes. Where's my hat and coat? Right in the middle of the busiest day I ever had. If anyone else calls, Ms. Thompson, I've left.
Alice Aldrich
Hello, Father.
Henry Aldrich
Hello. Could I speak to you just a minute?
Sam Aldrich
You may not.
Narrator
Goodbye.
Henry Aldrich
Well, what do you know about that, Ms. Thompson? Is he in a hurry over something?
Ms. Thompson
He is. And if I were you, I wouldn't follow him.
Henry Aldrich
Ms. Thompson could.
Ms. Thompson
I've got answers, folks.
Narrator
Where's Sam Aldridge?
Henry Aldrich
He just went out.
Narrator
I've got exactly what he wants outside on my truck.
Henry Aldrich
What is it?
Narrator
Eight of the darlingest pigeon coops you ever put your two eyes on.
Henry Aldrich
Well, gee whiz, could you haul them over to my house?
Narrator
And why not?
Henry Aldrich
Well, I don't think anyone's home.
Narrator
Oh, now, you take the coops and I'll give you a dozen fine birds to go with them.
Henry Aldrich
You will?
Narrator
I will that.
Henry Aldrich
Gee whiz, I'll be getting an even better start than I thought I would. Let's go.
Sam Aldrich
For the last time, please. Put the rest of your coops on your wagon and get away from the front of my house.
Henry Aldrich
You know advertise.
Sam Aldrich
I did not advertise.
Henry Aldrich
The lady, she know advertise.
Alice Aldrich
I did not advertise. No one in this house advertised. We couldn't have.
Sam Aldrich
That's a funny thing.
Mr. Hubbard
And my wife, she's read it to me out aloud.
Sam Aldrich
What you probably did was to misunderstand the name. What's your name? Aldrich. Aldrich.
Henry Aldrich
That's right.
Mr. Hubbard
I'm a telephone to him. He's a say shoes and bringing me 15 of coops.
Sam Aldrich
All right, I'll admit that I'm the one who answered the phone, but I thought you were somebody else. I'll meet the.
Henry Aldrich
Here's a price.
Sam Aldrich
No, I thought you were a friend by the name of Charlie. I'll sell the ch. What's a Charlie got to do with it? Now, listen, my friend, for the last time, put that final crate on your wagon and get away from here. All right, all right. Time to go home and read the ad. You sure you know one of these are coops of cheap. Get out. All right, all right.
Henry Aldrich
Giddy up.
Sam Aldrich
Please.
Henry Aldrich
Bye.
Sam Aldrich
Maybe I see you tomorrow.
Narrator
No.
Alice Aldrich
Well, thank goodness he's gone.
Sam Aldrich
You know, Alice, I honestly believe the fellow's crazy. Did you hear him? He practically insisted that we advertised.
Henry Aldrich
Father, take a look.
Alice Aldrich
What is it, Henry?
Henry Aldrich
What I've got right here in this truck. Pigeon coops.
Sam Aldrich
Where did you get those?
Henry Aldrich
They're for my pigeons.
Sam Aldrich
How are you, sir?
Narrator
Maldridge, could you give me a hand, Henry, boy? Sure.
Sam Aldrich
Here, one minute. Henry, are you unloading those here?
Henry Aldrich
Sure.
Narrator
Down with them, me son.
Sam Aldrich
Hey, wait before you unload that.
Henry Aldrich
Oh, it's not too heavy, Father.
Mr. Hubbard
There ya.
Alice Aldrich
What's that I hear now?
Narrator
For three years I've been wanting to
Sam Aldrich
show you me gratitude, Sam Mulligan, I'm sorry, but we have no place here for those pigeons.
Henry Aldrich
But, Father, they aren't costing us a cent. We're getting them absolutely free.
Alice Aldrich
What do you mean?
Henry Aldrich
Mr. Mulligan has very kindly consented to credit the coops toward a bill he owes.
Sam Aldrich
Father, what was that?
Henry Aldrich
Don't you think that's fair, Father?
Sam Aldrich
Henry, will you and Mr. Mulligan please put that crate back on the truck?
Narrator
You mean you don't want him?
Sam Aldrich
I do not.
Narrator
Oh, but it's three years I've been owing you that bill, Sam. Don't you think it's about time it was paid?
Sam Aldrich
Sam, if you'll take those crates away, I'll call the whole thing paid.
Narrator
Oh, now, now, that's very decent of you, Sam. Give me a hand, me boy.
Henry Aldrich
But, Father, I need them.
Sam Aldrich
Henry, do you want me to put that on for you?
Henry Aldrich
I'll help him.
Narrator
You're a gentleman, Sam Aldridge.
Mr. Hubbard
The next time I come into town,
Narrator
I'll bring your son a present.
Sam Aldrich
But not pigeons or pigeon cooks.
Mr. Hubbard
Oh, no, no, sir, not pigeons.
Narrator
I'll bring him a fine white nanny goat I have.
Henry Aldrich
You will?
Alice Aldrich
You will not.
Sam Aldrich
What? Good day to you all.
Henry Aldrich
Gee whiz. Now I've even lost what I paid
Sam Aldrich
for the ad for the ad for what ad?
Alice Aldrich
For coops.
Henry Aldrich
Didn't I tell you?
Sam Aldrich
Let's go into the house, Henry. I want to have a talk with you.
Henry Aldrich
I know what you're going to say.
Alice Aldrich
I wouldn't cry right out here on the sidewalk, Henry.
Henry Aldrich
I'm not crying. Who's crying?
Alice Aldrich
You're disappointed, dear. But the next time you do anything like this, you must tell us.
Sam Aldrich
Of course, we may not have room for pigeons any more than we had for rabbits, but we'll find something you can have.
Henry Aldrich
The only thing is, I need pigeon coops. I need them bad.
Sam Aldrich
Oh, today you need them, but by tomorrow you'll have forgotten all about them.
Alice Aldrich
Sam. What? What's that?
Sam Aldrich
What was what?
Alice Aldrich
Something just flew out of our attic window.
Sam Aldrich
Out of which window?
Henry Aldrich
That was one of my pigeons.
Alice Aldrich
One of what pigeons?
Henry Aldrich
That Mr. Hubbard gave me.
Sam Aldrich
That he gave you? How many did he give you?
Henry Aldrich
Just six. Two of them are up there setting in our attic. It would be all right if they had a coop.
Sam Aldrich
Father.
Alice Aldrich
Henry Aldrich.
Henry Aldrich
Henry, could I see you a minute? What about Tommy? What have you got in the box there? Your rabbits. My mother and father won't let me keep them.
Sam Aldrich
What are you doing? Returning all four of them.
Henry Aldrich
All four of them? There are 10 of them. Can you imagine?
Alice Aldrich
Henry, we can't possibly take those.
Henry Aldrich
But Mother, the ones I have don't bother you any, do they?
Sam Aldrich
The ones you have?
Henry Aldrich
Yeah, the ones in the preserve closet.
Alice Aldrich
Henry, look.
Henry Aldrich
Look who's coming. It's Towser. Oh, my old dog, Towser. Well, gee whiz.
Sam Aldrich
And where are you going to keep him?
Henry Aldrich
Oh, he can sleep at the foot of my bed. Listen, Henry, I want my. Who's it back that I gave you for the rabbits. Oh, no, that was a bargain. Tommy, you've got to give it back.
Sam Aldrich
Give what back?
Henry Aldrich
My snake.
Alice Aldrich
That's that.
Henry Aldrich
He gave me that snake.
Alice Aldrich
Henry, why should you want an old dead snake?
Henry Aldrich
But Mother, it isn't dead. It's alive.
Sam Aldrich
Where is it?
Henry Aldrich
Where is it? Yes, it's in my top bureau drawer.
Alice Aldrich
Henry Aldrich.
Narrator
Henry Aldrich will be back again in just a moment. Now, folks, tomorrow night why not treat yourself to one of those popular new Jello puddings you've been hearing so much about. Let's say a grand, tempting dish of Jello vanilla pudding dressed up perhaps with a handful of rich nuts or raisins. Now, there is a truly fine dessert. One that has no rival when it comes to smooth, creamy goodness. Every time you enjoy it, which is sure to be often, you'll find yourself more excited than ever about the delectable flavor of Jell o vanilla pudding. Because there's nothing to equal its delightful taste. So delicate and yet marvelously mellow. It's a quick, easy, inexpensive dessert. A captivating climax to any meal. So make tomorrow night's dinner end on a truly festive note. By serving the family this luscious treat, you'll add a new name on your list of favorite desserts. The very first time you enjoy the rare, distinctive goodness of Jell o vanilla pudding.
Henry Aldrich
You know, Tommy, I just had a big idea. What about Henry? We can make some money on these pigeons. We can clean up. How? All we have to do is put another rat in the paper. The only trouble is, though, we'll have to put it in. In your father's name.
Narrator
Well, now, ladies and gentlemen, in the event you would like to see Henry's latest advertisement, you will find it only in next week's issue of Centerville's leading paper. The Aldrich Family, starring Ezra Stone, is written by Clifford Goldsmith. Original music for the program is composed and conducted by Jack Miller. By the way, Ezra Stone will appear as Henry Aldrich at the State theater in Hartford, Connecticut for four days beginning February 22nd. Now, this is Harry Von Tel speaking and wishing you good night for those delicious new desserts all America's talking about Jell O Pudding. This is the National Broadcasting Company.
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Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Aldrich Family - Pigeon Coops
Date: March 7, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode of “The Aldrich Family” centers on Henry Aldrich’s comedic schemes to make money and develop responsibility. Hank attempts to raise rabbits, gets drawn into the world of pigeon keeping, and inadvertently turns his household upside down with his entrepreneurial pursuits—much to the dismay (and occasional amusement) of his parents, Sam and Alice Aldrich.
The story opens on Henry’s birthday, where his dreams of giving his mother the ideal gift quickly spiral into hare-brained business ventures. Henry’s attempts to make money—first with rabbits, then with pigeons—lead to escalating chaos involving animal coops, exasperated parents, a well-meaning but accident-prone handyman, and a barrage of miscommunications. The tone is lighthearted and warm, with plenty of classic family dynamic humor woven throughout.
Henry’s optimism (02:54):
“Rabbits. Raising rabbits. They’ll double your money overnight.”
Sam’s practicality (03:15):
“And do you think we're going to have 700 rabbits running all over our basement?”
Mr. Hubbard’s cautionary tale (06:44):
“By the time it was over, even my wife left me.”
Mr. Hubbard’s pigeon promise (07:37):
“Once I get it going, I’m giving up plumbing.”
Henry’s frugal ad placement (12:44):
“Well, supposing I leave the Henry out? Okay. Just say reasonable prices paid for old pigeon coops. Sign it Aldridge. Yes, sir.”
Sam’s exasperation (18:25):
“Pigeon Cooper? Did you say pigeon coops? My name is Ulrich. I’m the only Ulrich in town. But I don’t buy pigeon coops.”
Alice’s culinary strategy (16:09):
“But recently I've been serving Jell O chocolate pudding for dinner. Now, when I start to ring the gong, my husband and the children are sitting at the table before I get a chance to hit it.”
Final punchline (28:02):
Alice: “Henry, why should you want an old dead snake?”
Henry: “But Mother, it isn't dead. It's alive.”
| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:45 | Henry’s birthday wish and rabbit investment plan | | 03:00 | Family debates keeping rabbits in the basement | | 05:04 | Tommy Walsh as potential new rabbit owner | | 06:04 | Enter Mr. Hubbard, animal-raising gone wrong | | 07:31 | Mr. Hubbard pitches pigeons as the next big thing | | 12:21 | Henry places ad for pigeon coops | | 13:27 | Tommy picks up the multiplying rabbits | | 17:31 | Sam Aldrich's office flooded with pigeon coop offers | | 21:02 | Delivery boy appears with 60 pigeon coops | | 24:33 | Coops delivered to the Aldrich house, chaos peaks | | 26:57 | Epilogue: pigeons in the attic, rabbit returns, snake reveal| | 30:21 | Henry and Tommy plot another ad adventure |
The episode’s style is warm, witty, and filled with classic radio banter. The comedic misunderstandings and family dialogue drive the story, maintaining a wholesome, nostalgic feel true to the Golden Age of radio comedies.
“Pigeon Coops” is a prime example of “The Aldrich Family’s” blend of innocent ambition, family humor, and the kind of escalating misunderstandings that made it a staple of American radio. Henry’s endless entrepreneurial spirit, combined with his parents’ befuddled patience, sets the stage for a cascade of comedic complications—ending, of course, on the promise of more to come. Perfect for listeners who enjoy old-time family sitcoms with rapid-fire wit and heart.