Aldrich Family - School Ring

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "Aldrich Family – School Ring"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: March 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features "School Ring," an installment from the classic radio series The Aldrich Family. Set in the golden age of radio, the show captures a lighthearted slice of American teenage life. The central plot revolves around Henry Aldrich’s desperate attempts to secure a much-coveted school ring, leading to a hilarious tangle of family miscommunications, mistaken intentions, and overlapping surprises—all peppered with endearing period humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Highlights

1. Henry’s Quest for a School Ring

• Henry begs his father, Sam Aldrich, for a school ring, using earnest (and sometimes comically exaggerated) arguments about school spirit and morale.
• Sam refuses, citing Henry’s poor memory and history of losing things, referencing how Henry lost a pen (by losing the whole jacket it was clipped to).
  • Quote:
    “If you think I’m going to hand over 7.50 for a ring that you wind up giving to some girl…” – Sam Aldrich (02:50)
• Henry ties a string around his finger to remember something important—a classic motif for memory.

2. Parental Schemes & Secrecy

• Sam, despite his tough stance, plans to buy the ring for Henry as a Christmas present but wants to keep it secret.
• The problem: He must find Henry’s exact ring size without Henry knowing.
  • Sam’s comical midnight attempt at measuring Henry's finger ends in failure when Henry rolls over in his sleep (06:08).

3. The Great Misunderstandings

• Mary Aldrich, Henry’s sister, misinterprets overheard conversations about the ring as a sign that she’s to be engaged to Joe Graham, a family friend.
  • Mother and daughter visit a real estate office to look at houses for the “engaged” couple (13:36).
• Henry, hearing about Joe picking up a ring at the school with Sam’s check, believes Joe is the favored "son" now. He somberly prepares to run away from home.
  • Quote:
    “No, Homer. My mind’s made up. I’m leaving just as soon as I have dinner.” – Henry Aldrich (20:53)

4. Wrap-up and Revelations

• All come together in the Aldrich family living room where secrets unravel:
  • The ring is revealed to be Henry’s Christmas present, not meant for Joe or as an engagement ring.
  • Sam reconciles with Alice (his wife) over home improvements, mistakenly triggered by conversations about buying a new house.

5. Classic Aldrich Humor and Heart

• Multiple laugh-out-loud exchanges underscore typical 1940s family values, generational misunderstandings, and genuine affection.
• Henry bargains with his father for more chores in exchange for the ring—a touching but comic display of teenage negotiation.
  • Quote:
    “From today on, I’ll polish the car twice a week…and I’ll get up at 6 o’clock every morning to stoke the furnace…” – Henry Aldrich (26:33)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Henry’s Persuasion Attempt:
  “But Father, everybody in school is getting one… and just forked up.” – Henry Aldrich (02:22)
• On Memory:
  “I couldn’t very well lose my finger…” – Henry Aldrich (04:11)
• Mary’s Romantic Misread:
  “Oh, my goodness. An engagement ring!” – Mary Aldrich (12:29)
• Henry Running Away:
  “I guess I’ll have to throw out my rock collection…” – Henry Aldrich (21:14)
• Family Realization:
  “It’s a Christmas present for Henry. Don’t you think he’ll like it?” – Sam Aldrich (25:03)
• The Aftermath:
  “I want to call the Emporium and tell them to send those rugs.” – Mary Aldrich (26:15)

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Important Segments

| Timestamp | Key Segment | |------------|----------------------------------------------------------| | 02:06–05:02| Henry’s first attempt to convince his father, Sam | | 06:05–08:20| Sam’s failed attempt to measure Henry’s finger | | 13:34–14:38| Mary and her mother visit the real estate office | | 17:44–19:11| Henry prepares to run away after mishearing the truth | | 23:01–26:07| The living room reveal and mutual misunderstandings | | 26:33–27:15| Father and son finally have a heart-to-heart (the deal) |

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Memorable Character Dynamics

• Henry & Sam: Their sparring over money and memory, ending in mutual respect and affection.
• Mary & Joe: Her mistaken belief in an imminent proposal, leading to humorous but touching scenes.
• The Whole Family: Each member gets swept into a web of misinterpretations, leading to a classic comedy-of-errors resolution.

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Tone and Original Language

The episode is filled with wholesome, fast-paced family banter, full of slang like “gee whiz,” earnest appeals, and classic sitcom misunderstandings. The dialogue is light-hearted, relatable, and rich in period detail, reflecting the warmth and optimism of postwar American radio.

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Conclusion

This Aldrich Family adventure, though built on simple domestic confusions, delivers a delightful journey through nostalgia, laughter, and the timeless quirks of family life. School Ring showcases not only the best of golden-age radio storytelling but also the enduring appeal of relatable family mix-ups and heartfelt resolutions.

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Transcript

[Narrator]

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[Announcer]

Jell O Puddings Present Henry.

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry Aldridge.

[Henry Aldrich]

Coming, Mother.

[Announcer]

The Aldridge family. Based on characters originated by Clifford Goldsmith and starring Ezra Stone as Henry. With Jackie Kelus Homer. Brought to you by Jello Pudding. Just a taste of Jello puddings and

[Sam Aldrich]

believe me, you will know they are

[Announcer]

made by famous J E L L. Yes, Jell O Puddings. Those old time all time favorites you've always known and loved. All three so rich and distinctive, so creamy smooth with an old fashioned homemade goodness. There's Jell O chocolate pudding, rich, dark and luscious. There's buttery brown sugar, butterscotch and creamy rich vanilla. A trio of treats. They're made with milk and nourishing, they cook to perfection in just about five minutes. And all three Jello puddings are so gloriously good, you'll say you never tasted anything better. And now for the Aldrich family. There's something about a teenage boy that makes all of us laugh, remember and live again the days of our youth. And if he's a typical teenager like Henry Aldrich, it's always a pleasure to join him in the joy and misadventures that were ours when we were young. It's evening. The scene is the Aldrich living room.

[Henry Aldrich]

Father, may I just point out one thing?

[Sam Aldrich]

What?

[Henry Aldrich]

It's only 7:50. And do you realize how much a new suit of clothes would cost?

[Sam Aldrich]

You want a new suit of clothes?

[Homer]

No, sir.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'd rather have a school ring.

[Sam Aldrich]

Henry, for the last time, I'm not buying you a school ring. Now, I'd like to read my paper.

[Henry Aldrich]

But Father, everybody in school is getting one. All the kids I know just went home and asked for money and their father said, sure, gee whiz, you're welcome to it. And just forked up.

[Sam Aldrich]

I see.

[Henry Aldrich]

But I appreciate your being economical, Father. Gee, if you didn't pinch pennies around here, you wouldn't have any bank account at all.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, I'm glad you realize that.

[Henry Aldrich]

You've built up quite a nice bank account that way, haven't you, Father?

[Sam Aldrich]

I have.

[Henry Aldrich]

So you really wouldn't miss 750, would you, Henry?

[Sam Aldrich]

If you think I'm going to hand over 750 for a ring that you wind up giving to some girl.

[Henry Aldrich]

Father, whatever gave you an idea like that? Gee, the rings are solid gold with our school crest on them in two colors. Why would I give a thing like that to a girl?

[Sam Aldrich]

I don't know, son, but we all do.

[Henry Aldrich]

You mean you once gave a ring to a girl?

[Sam Aldrich]

Henry, I'm trying to read my paper.

[Henry Aldrich]

Ah, but, Father, I haven't told you why I really need it.

[Sam Aldrich]

You haven't?

[Henry Aldrich]

You see, the teachers all feel that we need something to keep up our morale. Just imagine you're sitting in History Classy, and your board's stiff, and you just happen to glance down and at your ring, and it's got your good old school crest on it. And, boy, you want to stand up and cheer.

[Sam Aldrich]

That's very interesting. Go on.

[Henry Aldrich]

And then you think of how much Central High means to you. And it all comes back that you're there to get an education.

[Sam Aldrich]

Yes.

[Henry Aldrich]

So you pile into your history like a ton of bricks, and you wind up first in your class.

[Sam Aldrich]

Everybody winds up first.

[Henry Aldrich]

No, sir. Just me.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh.

[Henry Aldrich]

So can I please have a school ring?

[Joe Graham]

No, Father.

[Mary Aldrich]

Have you thought of this?

[Sam Aldrich]

Henry, have you thought of this? If I bought you that ring, you wouldn't have it a week before it would be lost.

[Henry Aldrich]

Lost, Father, Lost. How could I lose it when it's on my finger?

[Sam Aldrich]

What about that fountain pen I bought you last month? You wanted to know how you could lose that when it was clipped to your jacket.

[Henry Aldrich]

I didn't lose that pen, Father. No, I just lost the jacket.

[Sam Aldrich]

I see.

[Henry Aldrich]

And I couldn't very well lose my finger.

[Sam Aldrich]

Henry, I'm not going to argue. The point is, until your memory improves, I'm not buying you another thing.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, my memory, Father. Is that all that's worrying you?

[Sam Aldrich]

Is that all? Henry, do you realize how important memory is?

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure, Father. And from now on, you're going to see a big change in me.

[Sam Aldrich]

Good boy.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'm going to remember every single thing I can lay my mind on. For instance, do you know what year the battle of Waterloo was fought?

[Announcer]

What year?

[Henry Aldrich]

I'll go and look it up. You wait there, Father, and I'll.

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry, look out.

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee, I'm sorry, Mother. Did I knock you over?

[Mary Aldrich]

Not quite. My goodness, Sam, what's he so excited about?

[Sam Aldrich]

Alice, I'm supposed to be a good lawyer, but I'd hate to come up against Henry in court.

[Mary Aldrich]

He does have a way with him, doesn't he?

[Sam Aldrich]

He does indeed. It's about that school ring.

[Mary Aldrich]

Sam, why don't you get it for him?

[Sam Aldrich]

I am going to get it for him for a Christmas present.

[Announcer]

Oh, but I'm not sure I'll be

[Sam Aldrich]

able to hold out that long.

[Mary Aldrich]

May I have the toast, please, Mother? Yes, dear. Some more coffee, Sam?

[Sam Aldrich]

Just half a cup, please. Why isn't Henry down for breakfast?

[Mary Aldrich]

He'll be right down. My, isn't this a lovely morning. Mother, is there anything we can do about Henry this evening? How do you mean, dear? Well, with Joe Graham coming and everything, I don't want Henry coaxing for that ring all through dinner. Joe will think we haven't got a cent.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, if Joe's interested only in your money, you might as well find it out right now.

[Mary Aldrich]

Oh, Father. Anyway, Mary, about that ring. Your father's decided.

[Sam Aldrich]

Alice.

[Henry Aldrich]

What, dear?

[Sam Aldrich]

Mary, will you please run out to the kitchen and fry me another egg?

[Mary Aldrich]

All right, Father. Sam, what's the matter?

[Sam Aldrich]

I don't want Mary to know I'm getting Henry that ring. She's sure to let the cat out of the bag.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, yes, dear.

[Homer]

Perhaps you're right.

[Mary Aldrich]

My, I can't wait to see Henry's face on Christmas morning.

[Sam Aldrich]

The only thing is, have you any idea how we can get his finger sized?

[Mary Aldrich]

Sam, I thought you were going to measure his finger last night when he was asleep.

[Sam Aldrich]

I did, but something went wrong.

[Mary Aldrich]

What happened, dear?

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, I got the string nicely knotted around his finger, and just as I went to cut it, he rolled over on the scissors. No, Alice, on the string. His hand disappeared under his chest someplace, and every time I tried to get it, he just giggled.

[Mary Aldrich]

Sam, here he comes.

[Sam Aldrich]

Alice, this is a grand breakfast.

[Homer]

Good morning, Mother.

[Henry Aldrich]

Good morning, dear. Good morning, Father.

[Sam Aldrich]

Good morning, Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, goodbye, Henry.

[Mary Aldrich]

What do you mean, goodbye? What about your breakfast?

[Henry Aldrich]

I don't feel like any breakfast.

[Sam Aldrich]

Henry, don't be silly.

[Henry Aldrich]

I couldn't eat a bit, Father, honest. I'm too. I'm not hungry.

[Homer]

Hey, Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'm coming, Homer.

[Mary Aldrich]

Henry, you can't go to school without eating.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'll eat an apple on the way. You are?

[Homer]

Henry, you gonna eat an apple right in front of me?

[Henry Aldrich]

Come on. Boy, am I worried.

[Homer]

Well, don't worry about it. If you haven't got two apples, gee, I'll understand.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, do you remember me saying anything about something my father asked me to do?

[Homer]

What?

[Henry Aldrich]

You see this string tied on my finger? Well, I woke up this morning and there it was, and I can't remember what I Tied it on there for.

[Homer]

Oh, that's easy, Henry. It was to remind you to do something.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure it was, but I can't remember why. I can't even remember tying it on.

[Homer]

Henry, you're in bad shape.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'll say. Right on top of my father lecturing me about my memory.

[Homer]

Was it something you had to do for somebody else?

[Henry Aldrich]

Yeah. Must have been something for my father. He's the only one I was talking to last night.

[Homer]

Concentrate, Henry. Concentrate.

[Henry Aldrich]

I'll say. Gee whiz, if I can't remember what it is, my father will never buy me that ring.

[Homer]

Henry, didn't your father say anything at dinner about you not doing it?

[Henry Aldrich]

No, Homer. That's the awful part of it. He just looked at me.

[Sam Aldrich]

He did?

[Homer]

That's terrible.

[Henry Aldrich]

All through dinner tonight, when he wasn't talking to Joe Graham, he just kept staring at me, at my hands.

[Homer]

Your hands?

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure. He's so mad he can't look me straight in the eye.

[Homer]

I wish I could help you out, Henry. Say, maybe you could.

[Henry Aldrich]

My father's in the living room with Josie. Suppose you go in and ask him if there's anything he'd like you to do.

[Homer]

Henry, are you crazy? What if there is?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, he might ask you to do the thing I'm supposed to remember to do. Then I'll do it.

[Homer]

Well, okay. You stay here.

[Henry Aldrich]

Don't act suspicious, though.

[Homer]

I won't.

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[Joe Graham]

Oh, my work's going just fine. Thank you, Mr. Aldrich.

[Sam Aldrich]

I'm glad to hear it, Joe. Oh, Homer.

[Homer]

By the way, Mr. Aldrich, is there any little thing you'd like me to do?

[Sam Aldrich]

No, thank you.

[Homer]

You can't think of a thing?

[Sam Aldrich]

Not a single thing.

[Homer]

That's funny.

[Sam Aldrich]

And now, Homer, I have something I'd like to discuss with Joe here.

[Homer]

Sure, Mr. Aldrich. And if you think of anything, I wish you'd let me know.

[Sam Aldrich]

Nice boy.

[Announcer]

Yes.

[Sam Aldrich]

Now, Joe, here's what I want to ask you. I'm getting Henry a school ring for a Christmas present. And I want to make sure I get it before they're all gone. Yes, but here's the catch. It has to be picked up in person at the school. And I don't want Henry or any of his friends to see me down there. They might suspect something.

[Joe Graham]

Well, I understand, Mr. Aldrich.

[Sam Aldrich]

And I wonder, Joe, if you'd mind running over to Central High tomorrow and getting one of those rings for me. Oh, no, sir.

[Joe Graham]

I wouldn't mind a bit.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, that's fine. Another thing, I'd rather you didn't mention this to Mary. I want to be sure Henry doesn't find out enough.

[Homer]

Oh, don't let me disturb you, Mr. Aldrich.

[Sam Aldrich]

Homer, what are you doing?

[Homer]

Wait, I tell you, I just thought I'd straighten this plant a little. Go right on with what you were saying, Mr. Aldrich.

[Sam Aldrich]

Homer, I don't want to seem rude, but can't you please run along?

[Homer]

Sure, Mr. Aldrich. Just as soon as I tie my shoelace. You just forget I'm in the room.

[Sam Aldrich]

How can I do that?

[Homer]

I'll tie it real quietly.

[Henry Aldrich]

Will you just.

[Sam Aldrich]

Homer, will you please leave?

[Homer]

Oh, gee whiz, I'd be glad to.

[Joe Graham]

Now, then, Mr. Homer.

[Sam Aldrich]

Wait a minute, Joe, until we're sure we're alone.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, boy. Did you find out, Homer? Did you find out what they were talking about?

[Homer]

Boy, Henry, is your father unreasonable?

[Henry Aldrich]

You mean he's mad?

[Homer]

I'll say. All I could find out is he's asking Joe to do something for him. He is?

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, boy.

[Henry Aldrich]

That means he's really mad. Homer, you stay here. I'll get Mary to help me. Mary.

[Mary Aldrich]

I'm in the dining room, Henry, and please bother me. I'm trying to get these dishes cleared away.

[Henry Aldrich]

Mary, you. You've got more influence with Joe Graham than I have. Won't you please ask him a simple question for me?

[Mary Aldrich]

What question?

[Henry Aldrich]

Just call him in here and ask him what Father's been talking to him about.

[Mary Aldrich]

My goodness. Is Father talking about me?

[Henry Aldrich]

About you, Henry.

[Mary Aldrich]

He hasn't been showing Joe that photograph album, has he?

[Henry Aldrich]

Why, you.

[Mary Aldrich]

Oh, my goodness.

[Henry Aldrich]

Joe, I'll wait out here in the hall.

[Joe Graham]

Did you call me, Mary?

[Mary Aldrich]

Yes, I. I thought you might like to keep me company while I wash the.

[Joe Graham]

Well, I guess I could. The only thing is, your father and I were.

[Mary Aldrich]

Were what, Joe?

[Sam Aldrich]

Nothing.

[Mary Aldrich]

Joe, you started to say something. What were you and father talking about?

[Joe Graham]

I'm sorry, Mary. I'd like to tell you, but I can't.

[Mary Aldrich]

You mean it's a surprise?

[Joe Graham]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Mary Aldrich]

Why, Joe, isn't that sweet? I just love surprises.

[Sam Aldrich]

What's that? Oh, Joe.

[Joe Graham]

Yes, Mr. Aldrich?

[Sam Aldrich]

One more thing. About that ring. About getting the sides. Oh, Mary.

[Mary Aldrich]

Father, did you say.

[Sam Aldrich]

Did you say Mary? Just forget what I said.

[Mary Aldrich]

Of course, Father. I didn't hear a thing.

[Sam Aldrich]

Joe, could you come back into the living room a minute?

[Mary Aldrich]

Yes, Joe. You just go on and. My goodness. You talk as long as you want about. About.

[Joe Graham]

Thanks, Mary. What were you going to say? Mr. Aldous?

[Sam Aldrich]

Wait until I close the door.

[Mary Aldrich]

Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. An engagement ring. Mother. Yes, dear? Mother, come here. You have all the plates down. Mother, I'm so happy I could die, I can hardly believe it. Believe what? My goodness. After all these years, I thought it was never going to happen. Dear, what on earth are you talking.

[Henry Aldrich]

Mary.

[Mary Aldrich]

No, Mother. Yes? What? To Joe Graham. He's in there right now talking to Father. Mary. Mary, my little girl.

[Henry Aldrich]

How do you come?

[Mary Aldrich]

Of course not, dear. Mary, I want you to know how happy I am for you. Now, I think I'd like to go and get something out of my eye. Come right back, Mother. We'll have to start planning everything. I don't know how I'd be able to stand this house without you. Mother, it isn't that I don't appreciate your help. It's no trouble at all, dear. But don't you think we're rushing things a little? He hasn't even asked me yet. I know, dear. But since you'll be buying a house eventually, you should get an idea of the market so Joe will know what you're talking about. Well, I guess it can't do any harm to.

[Homer]

Look.

[Mary Aldrich]

Here we are, dear. Go ahead. Thank you, Mother. Oh, my. Look at the lovely pictures. Oh, I like that stone house up there.

[Sam Aldrich]

Yes, ladies, may I help you?

[Mary Aldrich]

This is the Crawford Real Estate Office, isn't it?

[Sam Aldrich]

Yes, Indeed I am, Mr. Crawford.

[Mary Aldrich]

How do you do? We were wondering what you had in the way of houses. Well, now, just a small house for two people.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, about five rooms. Well, let's see. May I have your name, please?

[Mary Aldrich]

Mrs. That is, miss. Mother, what'll I tell him I'm Mrs. Samuel Aldrich and this is my daughter, Mary.

[Sam Aldrich]

Very well. Oh, say, I think I have just the thing for you. It's a little Cape Cod. Stone and clapboard, and it's a beauty.

[Mary Aldrich]

Oh, goodness. It sounds perfectly wonderful. Just a moment, Mary. I'll do the talking. Mr. Crawford. It sounds as though it might be satisfactory. How about the price?

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, it's dirt cheap, Mrs. Aldrich. They're giving it away for 17,000.

[Mary Aldrich]

$17,000? Mr. Crawford, that's ridiculous. Come along, Mary.

[Sam Aldrich]

Mrs. Aldridge, you haven't even seen the house.

[Mary Aldrich]

Thank you very much for your trouble, but please forget the whole thing.

[Sam Aldrich]

But wait, Mary.

[Mary Aldrich]

We were really just looking. Anyway, Mr. Crawford, he hasn't even asked me yet.

[Sam Aldrich]

I'm glad you dropped into the office, Will. I can't seem to keep my mind on work somehow.

[Announcer]

I can understand that.

[Sam Aldrich]

It'll take a while to get used to it. Mary seems so young. I just can't picture her getting married.

[Announcer]

Boy, that wedding will set you back something.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, I don't mind that so much. I've been watching the pennies for a while, Will. I've managed to build up a nice little bank account. Yeah. Besides, I'm sure Mary will be sensible about it. I wouldn't count on it.

[Announcer]

They all want a big splash.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, I don't know, Will.

[Announcer]

Well, that's one consolation about Homer. When he gets married, someone else can worry about the bill.

[Sam Aldrich]

Excuse me.

[Announcer]

Hello?

[Sam Aldrich]

Hello.

[Announcer]

Is that Mr. Samuel Aldrich?

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes.

[Announcer]

This is Mr. Crawford.

[Henry Aldrich]

Who?

[Announcer]

Mr. Crawford from the real estate office.

[Sam Aldrich]

Yes.

[Announcer]

I thought perhaps I'd better talk this

[Sam Aldrich]

thing over with you. What thing? About the house.

[Announcer]

Your wife apparently isn't aware that prices have gone up.

[Sam Aldrich]

And if you want a house. I don't want a house. I've got a house.

[Announcer]

But, Mr. Aldrich, your wife was in my office only yesterday. She was definitely interested in looking at a small house with about five rooms.

[Sam Aldrich]

What?

[Announcer]

And I found a little jewel for only 12,000.

[Sam Aldrich]

Look, Mr. Crawford, suppose I get in touch with you? You'll do that? Yes, one way or the other. All right, sir. Well, Sam, what's happened?

[Announcer]

Is it bad news?

[Sam Aldrich]

Alice is out looking at houses.

[Announcer]

What for?

[Sam Aldrich]

She's been saying she didn't think she could stand our old house without Mary. But I didn't think she meant it literally.

[Announcer]

Well, you just said you have a nice bank account.

[Sam Aldrich]

Not that night.

[Announcer]

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[Mary Aldrich]

Henry. Hey, Henry, where are you?

[Henry Aldrich]

I'm in the backyard, Homer. Where'd you disappear to?

[Homer]

Resting on the porch.

[Henry Aldrich]

Resting?

[Sam Aldrich]

Sure.

[Homer]

Don't you think I get tired watching you do all this work?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, then you better go away again, Homer, because I'm going to finish beating these rugs.

[Homer]

If you ask me, Henry, you're gonna kill yourself doing all this work.

[Henry Aldrich]

But don't you get it, Homer? If I do all the things my parents usually ask me to do, I'm sure to do it.

[Homer]

Do what?

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee whiz, the thing I can't remember to do. Stand back.

[Homer]

But, Henry, I've got some news for you. Something I just found out from Willie.

[Henry Aldrich]

What?

[Homer]

Well, you know how Willie's in charge of selling school rings?

[Henry Aldrich]

Yeah.

[Homer]

Well, your father just bought one for Joe Graham.

[Henry Aldrich]

Homer, you're crazy.

[Homer]

I am not. Joe went down to the school today and got a ring. And he gave Willie a check from your father.

[Henry Aldrich]

He did? Well, gee, what's wrong with that? Joe used to go to Central High, didn't he? Well, sure. Well, gee, that. That's only natural. Joe's going to be a part of the family. My father has a perfect right to buy him a school ring instead of

[Homer]

buying one for you.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure. It isn't every day a family gets a new son.

[Homer]

Gee, do you Suppose Joe will be moving into your room?

[Henry Aldrich]

You think so? Well, he's certainly welcome to it.

[Homer]

Look, Hen, there's lots of room over at my house.

[Henry Aldrich]

No, thank you, Homer. I wouldn't think of forcing myself on anybody.

[Homer]

Henry, where are you going?

[Henry Aldrich]

Don't worry about me, Homer. I'll be all right.

[Homer]

Boy. Boy, am I mad. Where's that carpet beater?

[Announcer]

Yes, sir?

[Sam Aldrich]

May I show you something in snow shovels?

[Announcer]

No, thank you.

[Sam Aldrich]

I was wondering if you carried pear trees.

[Announcer]

Oh, yes, indeed.

[Sam Aldrich]

The Emporium carries everything. And if we don't, we can get it for you. Oh, that's fine. Can you send six pear trees up to my home right away? Right away?

[Homer]

Yes.

[Sam Aldrich]

My wife's been wanting some for years.

[Announcer]

But this is December.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, I thought this was as good a time as any to get them in. They'll keep until spring if I cover them over with earth.

[Henry Aldrich]

They will?

[Announcer]

Oh, of course they will. Although you know that pear trees are quite expensive.

[Sam Aldrich]

They cost considerably less than $12,000.

[Announcer]

Oh, yes, considerably.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, and do you have paint in this department?

[Announcer]

Yes, sir.

[Joe Graham]

How much would you like?

[Sam Aldrich]

Enough to paint a house.

[Announcer]

What kind of a house?

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, it's quite a large one and very comfortable. As a matter of fact, I'm very attached to it.

[Announcer]

Oh, is that so?

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, say, I just thought of something else she's been wanting.

[Announcer]

Yes?

[Sam Aldrich]

I'll be back in a minute. Oh, first, could you direct me to the rug department?

[Henry Aldrich]

And as soon as I can. Homer, I'm going to send back this suitcase to my father. Will you hand me that pile of socks on the dresser, please?

[Homer]

Oh, I hate.

[Henry Aldrich]

Never mind. I'll get them.

[Homer]

Never mind. Here they are.

[Henry Aldrich]

Thank you.

[Homer]

One of them needs mending, huh?

[Henry Aldrich]

I'll just throw in a needle and some thread. Might as well get used to doing my own mending.

[Homer]

Henry, why run away now? Why not at least wait till after Christmas?

[Henry Aldrich]

No, Homer. My mind's made up. I'm leaving just as soon as I have dinner.

[Homer]

Henry, have you any idea how tough it is on the road?

[Henry Aldrich]

I won't be begging, Homer. I'll be working my way.

[Homer]

Working? What at?

[Henry Aldrich]

I'll find something. At least I have an education. Yeah, and I'm not a child.

[Homer]

You know, your suitcase is getting pretty full.

[Henry Aldrich]

That's what I was thinking. I guess I'll have to throw out my rock collection.

[Homer]

You're throwing your rocks away?

[Henry Aldrich]

Hope you don't think I'm gonna leave them around for Joe Graham.

[Homer]

Henry, did I tell you I'm pretty interested in rocks? You are? Well, that is, if you're running away.

[Henry Aldrich]

In that case, Homer, here. They're yours.

[Homer]

Gee, Henry, you're giving them to me.

[Henry Aldrich]

Gee, you shouldn't think nothing of it. Can you reach up on the wall there, please, Homer, and hand me Kathleen's picture?

[Homer]

Look at her, Henry. Look at her smiling at you.

[Henry Aldrich]

Just hand it to me, Homer.

[Homer]

Look what she's written on it. To Henry. Yours truly, Kathleen Anderson. Just think of how she's gonna feel. Think of the spring prom. Henry.

[Henry Aldrich]

Now, listen. Is that our doorbell?

[Homer]

Sure, but why should you worry about it?

[Henry Aldrich]

I guess I'll answer it, though. It's the least I can do for my family on my last night.

[Homer]

Can I start taking my rocks out of your suitcase?

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure. Help yourself. Oh, hi, Henry. Gee whiz, Joe, I haven't even left yet.

[Sam Aldrich]

I beg your pardon.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, come on in. Thanks. And I just want to say, Joe, no hard feelings.

[Sam Aldrich]

About what?

[Henry Aldrich]

You know, everything. Oh, well, no hard feelings here either, naturally.

[Joe Graham]

Is your father around?

[Henry Aldrich]

I think I heard him come in a little while ago.

[Sam Aldrich]

Joe Graham. That Joe.

[Joe Graham]

Hello, Mr. Aldrich. Well, well, it's nice to see you.

[Henry Aldrich]

Now, just go on back upstairs.

[Sam Aldrich]

Here, let me take your coat, Joe.

[Joe Graham]

Thank you, sir. Mr. Aldrich, I. I thought I'd drop over with Henry's ring.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, good. Thank you. I guess you'll be buying one or two more before long, eh? What's that? I suppose we go into the living room and have a little chat.

[Henry Aldrich]

All right.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, well. Sit down, son.

[Joe Graham]

Thank you, sir.

[Sam Aldrich]

Well, well, well. Joe.

[Joe Graham]

Yes, Mr. Aldrich?

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, just call me. Well, no, there's no point in rushing things, I guess.

[Joe Graham]

No, no, there isn't. Rushing what, sir?

[Sam Aldrich]

Let me put it this way. Mary's a fine girl, Joe. A fine girl.

[Joe Graham]

Oh, yes, I like her very much.

[Sam Aldrich]

Naturally.

[Joe Graham]

Well, I guess I'll be running along now.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, nonsense, Joe. We'll be having dinner in a few minutes. You're just in time.

[Joe Graham]

But I was here for dinner two nights ago.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, well, things are a little different now, aren't they, son?

[Henry Aldrich]

They are.

[Sam Aldrich]

Now, let me give you a word of advice, Joe. You and Mary will get along fine as long as you remember a few simple rules.

[Joe Graham]

We get along all right.

[Sam Aldrich]

Yes, but wait until you see how she irons your shirts. What's that? It runs in the family, Joe. They just can't iron shirts. Now, you take my advice and send them out to the laundry.

[Joe Graham]

But my mother irons my shirts.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, and that's another thing. Don't ever mention your mother. No, Your mother can't do a thing. Remember that. She can't cook, she can't mend. And above all, she can't keep her.

[Joe Graham]

Mr. Aldrich, my mother's a fine woman.

[Announcer]

Why yes, Joe, and so is mine.

[Sam Aldrich]

But you'll have to choose between them. I will?

[Joe Graham]

Uh huh.

[Sam Aldrich]

And that about covers it. Oh, but I'd just like to say, Joe, I'm not losing a daughter. Yes, Mary?

[Mary Aldrich]

Mother says dinner is almost.

[Henry Aldrich]

Oh, hello, Mary.

[Mary Aldrich]

Why. Why, Joe. Hello, Joe. My goodness.

[Joe Graham]

Yes, Mary?

[Mary Aldrich]

Joe, I want you to know that I'm starting cooking school school on Monday. And I'm also very good at darning socks.

[Sam Aldrich]

You are? Yes, indeed. You'll never have to worry about your socks in the future.

[Joe Graham]

You mean Mary's going to Darman?

[Mary Aldrich]

Of course, Joe. But my goodness, here I am doing all the talking.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, before you forget, Joe, where's the ring?

[Joe Graham]

Oh, here it is, Mr. Oak.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, thank you, Joe. I really didn't want you to know about it, Mary, but now that you and Joe. Well, it's a Christmas present for Henry. Don't you think he'll like it?

[Mary Aldrich]

I. School ring. Joe, Is that what you and father were talking about the other night?

[Sam Aldrich]

Why, sure.

[Mary Aldrich]

Oh. Oh, my goodness.

[Sam Aldrich]

Is something wrong? Mary Jo?

[Mary Aldrich]

I thought I heard you in here.

[Joe Graham]

Oh, good evening, Mrs. Aldrich. How are you?

[Mary Aldrich]

I'm fine, thank you. And isn't it nice having Joe come on?

[Sam Aldrich]

Where?

[Mary Aldrich]

Anywhere.

[Henry Aldrich]

Just come on.

[Joe Graham]

Mary, have you been saying anything about my mother?

[Sam Aldrich]

Alice, does it strike you Mary's acting very strangely?

[Mary Aldrich]

I haven't noticed. What I'm wondering about is that phone call.

[Sam Aldrich]

What phone call?

[Mary Aldrich]

From the Emporium. A man phoned a while ago and asked if I wanted the rugs delivered tomorrow.

[Sam Aldrich]

Oh, Alice, I've been meaning to speak to you about that. I ordered those new rugs you've been wanting for the living room in front hall.

[Mary Aldrich]

You what?

[Sam Aldrich]

Also six pear trees and enough paint to do the whole house inside and out.

[Mary Aldrich]

Sad.

[Sam Aldrich]

And I thought we might redecorate the upstairs the way you want it.

[Mary Aldrich]

Sam, you darling.

[Sam Aldrich]

You're pleased, Alice?

[Mary Aldrich]

Pleased? I've never been so surprised and happy in my whole life.

[Sam Aldrich]

You mean you'll reconsider about the new house?

[Mary Aldrich]

What new house?

[Sam Aldrich]

By the one you've been looking at, dear.

[Mary Aldrich]

I never wanted a new house.

[Sam Aldrich]

What?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, now look, and excuse me.

[Mary Aldrich]

I want to call the Emporium and tell them to send those rugs.

[Sam Aldrich]

Alice, wait.

[Mary Aldrich]

Oh, I'm sorry, Henry. Did I knock you over?

[Henry Aldrich]

Not entirely. Listen, Father, I. I started thinking about the spring prom and a few things. And then I smelled the stew Mother's cooking for supper. And I'd like to make you a proposition, Father.

[Sam Aldrich]

A proposition?

[Henry Aldrich]

Yes, sir. From today on, I'll polish the car twice a week. And I'll get up at 6 o' clock every morning to stoke the furnace. And besides, I'll shovel all the walks and carry out the ashes. What would you think of that?

[Sam Aldrich]

I think I was dreaming.

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, it's a deal, Father.

[Mary Aldrich]

Shake.

[Sam Aldrich]

Shake.

[Henry Aldrich]

Shake.

[Sam Aldrich]

And Henry, while this was supposed to be a Christmas present, under the circumstances, I think I'd like you to have it now.

[Mary Aldrich]

Father. My school ring.

[Sam Aldrich]

Do you like it, son?

[Mary Aldrich]

Like it, boy?

[Henry Aldrich]

And Father, I finally remembered what you wanted me to do.

[Sam Aldrich]

I think I wanted you to do something.

[Henry Aldrich]

Sure. You wanted me to burn that pile of bushes in the backyard.

[Sam Aldrich]

What?

[Henry Aldrich]

And it's all taken care of.

[Joe Graham]

Henry.

[Sam Aldrich]

My pear tree.

[Announcer]

Oh, Mr. Wiest.

[Sam Aldrich]

Mr. Wiest, you want to know something?

[Joe Graham]

Sure.

[Sam Aldrich]

What? Well, I'd like to tell you about my favorite brunette.

[Announcer]

Ah, one of those true glamour girls, I'll bet. With rich dark tresses and glorious dark eyes.

[Sam Aldrich]

No, no. I'm talking about my favorite brunette dessert.

[Announcer]

That rich dark Jello chocolate pudding. Why, of course. Jell o chocolate pudding. You never tasted anything better. With that marvelous true chocolate flavor. Especially made by the famous Walter Baker chocolate people. All three Jello puddings, chocolate, vanilla and butterscotch, are rich and distinctive with real old fashioned homemade goodness. Jello vanilla pudding, smooth as cream with that tempting vanilla delicacy. Jello butterscotch pudding with that buttery brown sugar taste. And say all three Jello puddings cook to perfection in just about five minutes. And they're nourishing, made with milk. So when you go to your grocers, ask for Jell O pudding. You never tasted anything better.

[Henry Aldrich]

Does anybody know where Mary is? Father, are you in the living room?

[Sam Aldrich]

Yes, Henry, I'm writing out checks.

[Henry Aldrich]

I've got the car polished, Father. Boy, does does my back ache.

[Sam Aldrich]

There, that's the last one.

[Henry Aldrich]

Now, could you tell me where Mary is?

[Sam Aldrich]

I don't know where she is. Why?

[Henry Aldrich]

Well, Joe Graham just dropped off this bundle of old socks. He said Mary would take care of them.

[Announcer]

Just a taste of Jello puddings and

[Sam Aldrich]

believe me, you will know they are

[Announcer]

made by famous J E L L O. This is NBC, the national broadcasting.