Alka Seltzer - 10/22/1953 - Its Istanbul Not Constantinople

Summary

---

Episode Summary: "Alka Seltzer - 10/22/1953 - It's Istanbul Not Constantinople"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Date: March 22, 2026
Featured Performers: Kurt Massey, Martha Chilton, Fort Pearson, Curtis, Country Washburn Orchestra

---

Overview

This episode of Harold’s Old Time Radio features a broadcast of the classic “Alka Seltzer” radio show, originally aired on October 22, 1953. The episode spotlights musical performances and light-hearted banter, mixing popular contemporary tunes, sponsor spots, and reflections on loneliness and love. Notably, the cast performs “Istanbul (Not Constantinople),” reflecting on the city’s name change with humor and song.

---

Key Segments and Themes

1. Opening Medley and Introduction

[00:34 – 00:54]

• Show opens with the Alka Seltzer jingle, musical introductions, and the cast greeting the audience.
• Sets a light, cheerful tone with a focus on unity and musical fun.

2. "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" Featured Performance

[00:54 – 02:27]

• The cast launches into a playful, rousing rendition of the hit novelty song "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)," humorously commenting on shifting city names and global change.
• Memorable lines:
  • “Istanbul was Constantinople, now it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople…”
  • "Even old New York was once New Amsterdam. Why they changed it, I can't say. People just like it better that way.”
• The banter after the song points out the song’s popularity:
  • Curtis: “They tell me it's selling like pop at a Sunday school picnic.” [02:27]

3. Popular Song Segment: "You, You, You"

[02:41 – 03:48]

• Kurt Massey sings the romantic ballad “You, You, You,” accompanied by tender harmonies and orchestra.
• Notable quote:
  • “We were meant for each other sure as heavens above…”
• Expresses the show's focus on love and connection.

4. Alka Seltzer Product Segment – Headache Relief

[04:25 – 05:36]

• Fort Pearson and the narrator deliver a cheerful skit about headaches and Alka Seltzer’s benefits.
  • Narrator: “The word of good cheer is Alka Seltzer for fast relief. Next time a headache has you down, cheer up with the speedy relief Alka Seltzer brings…” [04:35]

5. “Town and Country Polka” Performance

[05:36 – 06:49]

• Contrast between city and country lifestyles is highlighted using the lively “Town and Country Polka.”
• Fun lyric moments:
  • Martha: “You wear a top hat, I wear a gingham gown.” [05:40]
  • Chorus: “We’ll fill each day with laughter, keep dancing ever after to the town and country polka.” [06:30]

6. The Henry Nemo Tribute & "Don't Take Your Love From Me"

[06:49 – 09:27]

• The cast reminisces about songwriter Henry Nemo.
• Martha Chilton delivers an expressive, heartfelt vocal of “Don’t Take Your Love From Me.”
• Notable quote:
  • Martha: “Tear a star from out the sky, and the sky feels blue…” [07:21]
  • “Don’t take your love from me…” [08:50]

7. Reflections on Loneliness

[09:27 – 11:59]

• Host quizzes Martha about her experiences with loneliness, leading into “The Lonesomest Gal in Town.”
• Dialogue explores themes of social appearances vs. inner feelings:
  • Host: “You’re so pretty and popular and such a social butterfly. You know something I’ve often wondered…” [09:32]
  • Martha: “Well, that’s the strange thing... Sometimes you can be at a big dance or a gay party with a hundred people around you, and yet inside you’re lonely.” [10:22]
• The segment closes with a wistful group performance about missing a loved one.

8. Second Alka Seltzer Spot – Stomach Relief

[12:18 – 13:08]

• The narrator and cast detail Alka Seltzer’s benefits for upset stomachs, encouraging listeners to “Be wise, alkalize with Alka Seltzer.” [12:52]

9. Outro and Next Episode Tease

[13:08 – 13:48]

• Announcement of an upcoming episode focusing on favorite old records from 1930 onward.
• Final group chorus:
  • “We’ll sing the old song, we’ll sing the new, we’ll sing the bright song and maybe we’ll sing the blues...” [13:31]

10. One-A-Day Vitamin Ad

[13:48 – 14:54]

• Brief plug about vitamin supplements, part of the period’s standard radio advertising.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the musical theme:
  • “Istanbul was Constantinople, now it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople... Even old New York was once New Amsterdam. Why they changed it, I can’t say. People just like it better that way.” (Song lyric, [01:30 - 02:04])
• On the poetry of music:
  • Curtis: “I think this is one lyric that deserves to be called poetry. ‘Don’t take your love from me.’” [07:05]
• Reflections on loneliness:
  • Martha: “Sometimes you can be at a big dance or a gay party with a hundred people around you, and yet inside you’re lonely.” [10:22]
• Signature cheer:
  • “Alka Seltzer Speedy Alka Seltzer.” (Chorus, recurring; e.g., [00:34], [12:52])

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:34] — Opening Alka Seltzer Time Medley
• [00:54] — "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" Performance
• [02:41] — "You, You, You" Song
• [04:25] — Alka Seltzer Headache Skit
• [05:36] — "Town and Country Polka"
• [06:49] — Henry Nemo Tribute & "Don’t Take Your Love From Me"
• [09:27] — Conversation about Loneliness & "The Lonesomest Gal in Town"
• [12:18] — Alka Seltzer Upset Stomach Skit
• [13:08] — Outro, Next Episode Preview

---

Tone and Style

The episode embodies the warmth, companionship, and playful humor characteristic of 1950s variety radio. The hosts and cast employ light banter, tender musical deliveries, and homespun wisdom, intertwined with clever sponsor plugs—creating a program blending entertainment, nostalgia, and a sense of togetherness.

---

Transcript

[Bleacher Report Announcer]

The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up. March Madness is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about, get real time, scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

Alka Seltzer Speedy Alka Seltzer.

[Narrator]

The Alka Seltzer show transcribed in Hollywood. Featuring radio's favorite singing stars, Kurt Massey and Martha Chilton. With the music of Country Washburn.

[Kurt Massey]

It's Alka Seltzer time.

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

Alka Seltzer time.

[Martha Chilton]

Morning, noon and night It's Alka Seltzer time.

[Kurt Massey]

I'm Kurt.

[Martha Chilton]

I'm Martha.

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

And here we go with the Alka Seltzer. We thought we'd like to go to Constantinople but the airline just said no. To Constantinople.

[Kurt Massey]

Well, they didn't say the planes were full.

[Fort Pearson]

No, they didn't say the planes were full.

[Kurt Massey]

They sold us tickets.

[Curtis]

Sold us tickets.

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

Tickets to Istanbul.

[Martha Chilton]

Why?

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

Istanbul was Constantinople now it's Istanbul, not

[Kurt Massey]

Constantinople Been a long time gone oh,

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

Constantinople still is Turkish delight on a

[Kurt Massey]

moonlit night well, every gal in Constantinople

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople so if

[Curtis]

you've a date in Constantinople she'll be

[Fort Pearson]

waiting in Istanbul Even old New York

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

was once New Amsterdam why they changed it, I can't say People just like it better that way Take me back to Constantinople no, you can't go back

[Curtis]

to Constantinople now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople.

[Kurt Massey]

Why did Constantinople get the works?

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

That's nobody's business But Calipas and Ushkadir and all the other Turks.

[Curtis]

Oh, I like that, Kurt. And they tell me it's selling like pop at a Sunday school picnic.

[Host]

The publisher has high hopes for Istanbul. He's got his eye on a high place on the hit parade. But right now, Martha, that particular spot is occupied by you.

[Kurt Massey]

You, you, You, you, you. I'm in love with you. I could be so true, too true to someone like you, you, you. Do what you are to do. Take me in your arms please, please do and let me cling to you. You, you. We were meant for each other sure as heavens above we were meant for each other

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

to have, to hold and to love

[Kurt Massey]

you, you, you. There's no one like you. You, you. You could make my Dreams come true if you say you love me. Love. Fort Pearson is here with a message.

[Fort Pearson]

A word of cheer, you'll agree.

[Kurt Massey]

Now, here is a sad situation that

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

could happen to you or to me.

[Narrator]

Well, the sad situation, of course, is a headache. And the word of good cheer is Alka Seltzer for fast relief. Next time a headache has you down, cheer up with the speedy relief Alka Seltzer brings with its time tested pain reliever. Alka Seltzer is ready to go to work as soon as you drink it. And with its thousands of effervescent bubbles, Alka Seltzer is ready to bring gentle relief as well. Just drop a tablet or two in a glass of water, let it fizz. Alka Seltzer is a sparkling, refreshing solution. It isn't like taking medicine at all. So next time you have a headache, have a glass of Alka Seltzer, order it by the glass at any drugstore soda fountain, then get a package at the counter to have in readiness at home. That's Alka Seltzer for fast headache relief. Alka Seltzer sold at all drugstores. Kurt and Martha are about to demonstrate what happens when a city gal and a country boy take a fling at the polka.

[Kurt Massey]

You're from the country, I'm from the town.

[Martha Chilton]

You wear a top hat, I wear a gingham gown.

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

And when we go out dancing we do our fancy prancing to the town

[Martha Chilton]

and country BO k I like a

[Fort Pearson]

fiddle that's simple and sweet well, it

[Kurt Massey]

takes a trumpet to make me move my feet.

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

And when they play together we're floating on a feather to the town and country poker.

[Martha Chilton]

It's got a little bit of city rhythm. It's got a little bit of country style.

[Kurt Massey]

And even though they come from different places it brings a boy and girl

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

together in a little while oh, someday we'll marry Then we'll settle down out

[Martha Chilton]

in the country but not too far

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

from town we'll fill each day with laughter Keep dancing ever after to the town and country polka.

[Curtis]

Well, Kurt, I'm so glad we ran into Henry Nemo yesterday. It reminded me of a wonderful, wonderful song that Henry wrote, oh, some dozen years ago.

[Host]

You know, Martha, until you brought in the copy today, I didn't realize that Henry wrote both the words and the music.

[Curtis]

I'm glad you mentioned the words, Kurt, because I'd love everyone to really listen to them. I think this is one lyric that deserves to be called poetry. Don't take your love from me.

[Martha Chilton]

Tear a star from out the sky

[Fort Pearson]

and the sky feels blue

[Martha Chilton]

Tear a

[Fort Pearson]

petal from a rose and the rose weeps too

[Martha Chilton]

Take your heart away from

[Fort Pearson]

mine and mine will surely break My life is yours to make so please

[Martha Chilton]

keep the spark awake Would you take

[Fort Pearson]

the wings from birds so that they can fly?

[Martha Chilton]

Would you?

[Fort Pearson]

You take the ocean's roar and leave

[Martha Chilton]

just a sigh of this your heart won't let you do this is what I beg of you don't take your

[Fort Pearson]

love from me

[Martha Chilton]

all this your heart

[Fort Pearson]

won't let you do

[Martha Chilton]

this is what I beg of you don't take your love from me.

[Host]

Now, Martha, before you get away from the mic, I'd like to ask you something.

[Curtis]

Ask away, Curtis.

[Host]

Well, all right. You're so pretty and popular and such a social butterfly. You know something I've often wondered.

[Kurt Massey]

Have you ever been lonely? Have you ever been blue? Have you ever loved someone just as I love you?

[Curtis]

Have I ever been lonely? Why, Kurt, I'm the lonesomest gal in town.

[Martha Chilton]

I'm the lonesomest gal in town Everybody

[Fort Pearson]

has two Turn me down. I ain't got no angel child to

[Martha Chilton]

call me dear Got no Honeyman for

[Host]

me to cuddle near that sure is a surprise. Martha, you know, I'd never guess you were lonesome.

[Curtis]

Well, that's the strange thing about it, Kurt. Sometimes you can be at a big dance or a gay party with a hundred people around you. And yet inside you're lonely.

[Fort Pearson]

Lonely There are people all around me But I'm lonely. Lonely Every dream and every memory Makes me lonely so lonely since you, you went away I keep pretending and hoping that you still care

[Martha Chilton]

I just can't believe this is the ending of a love affair.

[Fort Pearson]

If only you would spare my broken heart and say you. You miss me.

[Martha Chilton]

Miss me just as much as I

[Kurt Massey]

miss you

[Fort Pearson]

Darling without you life is sad.

[Martha Chilton]

But I wouldn't be feeling half Satan

[Fort Pearson]

so bad if I knew that you were lonely,

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

too. Alka Seltzer Speedy Alka Cell

[Narrator]

Enjoy that feel better feeling. Take Speedy Alka Seltzer for fast relief from acid upset stomach. Alka Seltzer reduces excess stomach acidity with instant alkalizing action. It relieves that stuffy too full feeling, soothes and settles the stomach with gentle effervescent action. Just dissolve an Alka Seltzer tablet or two in a glass of water. See it bubble and fizz. Then drink the sparkling clear solution. See how soon your comfort returns. Yes. For fast relief from acid indigestion, be wise, alkalize with Alka Seltzer.

[Kurt Massey]

Alka Seltzer Speedy Alka Seltzer.

[Fort Pearson]

A feel better feeling comes in record

[Kurt Massey]

time when your stomach feels upset.

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

For relief, don't you forget Alka Seltzer.

[Host]

Well, that's it for today, friends. We would like to mention that we have a pet project on schedule for tomorrow, one that we think will have special appeal to you record collectors.

[Curtis]

Beginning back in 1930, Kurt and I are going to reminisce about our favorite platters, the great old records that are collector's items today.

[Host]

I do hope you'll have time to

[Curtis]

share our memories Tomorrow, same time, same station.

[Host]

We'll sing the old song, we'll sing

[Kurt Massey]

the new we'll sing the bright song

[Alka Seltzer Chorus]

and maybe we'll sing the blues On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday too For

[Fort Pearson]

you, for you, for you.

[Narrator]

When friends ask you how you feel, do you usually say fine? Or do you feel tired and listless below par? Well, you know, vitamin shortage is one of the common causes of that tired out feeling. And you can correct vitamin shortage with one a day brand multiple vitamin tablets. They supply all you normally need to take of all the vitamins proved necessary in human nutrition and they give them to you in an easy to take tablet. So every day, regularly take one a day brand multiple vitamins. They help you feel and look your best. Ask for one a day brand multiple vitamin tablets at any drugstore. In the blue box with a big red one. They now contain vitamin B12. Listen tomorrow for the Alka Seltzer show starring Kite Massey and Martha Tilton with the music of country Washburn and his orchestra. Today's program was transcribed in Hollywood and this is Fort Pearson speaking.

[Howie Mandel]

The global gaming league is presented by Atlas Earth, the fun cashback app. Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my how we do it gaming team take on Gilly the King and wallow. Two six seven million dollars gaming in an epic global gaming league video game showdown plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match right [e-mail] that's globalgamingleague.com in partnership with Level Up Exp.

[Bleacher Report Announcer]

The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up, March Madness is here and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about. Get real time. Scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.