Alka Seltzer - Medley Of Hawaiian Songs

Summary

Summary of "Alka Seltzer - Medley Of Hawaiian Songs"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host(s): Harold’s Old Time Radio
Aired: March 22, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Harold’s Old Time Radio brings listeners back to the golden era of radio variety shows, featuring the "Alka Seltzer Show" with singing stars Kurt Massey and Martha Tilton, and the music of Country Washburn. Themed around the spirit of Hawaii and its Aloha Week festival, the episode presents a warm, nostalgic mix of Hawaiian tunes, classic love songs, playful banter, and vintage product jingles—all capturing the charm and simplicity of pre-television entertainment.

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Key Discussion Points & Musical Highlights

Introduction & Setting the Theme

• [00:39] Kurt Massey and Martha Tilton kick off the show, noting:

  “You know friends, right now in Hawaii they're celebrating the island's gayest and most colorful festival, Aloha Week.” —Kurt Massey ([00:39])

• Martha sets the Hawaiian tone,

  “So it seems apropos to begin the show with a Massey Tilton salute to the land of the red hibiscus.” —Martha Tilton ([00:58])

Hawaiian Song Medley

• [01:08]–[04:36] A charming medley of Hawaiian-themed songs performed as duets and solos, capturing the festive, romantic mood of Hawaii:
  • “Hula Maid” and “On the Beach at Waikiki” are energetically sung, with playful back-and-forth and harmonies about island romance, local phrases, and moonlit evenings.
  • Light banter about not understanding Hawaiian words adds to the whimsical mood:

    “She then said and smiled in glee but she would not translate for me.” —Martha Tilton ([03:43])
    “You have learned it perfectly. Don't forget what I have taught, said the little hula maiden on the beach at Waikiki.” —Kurt Massey ([03:49])

Vintage Advertising Interludes

• [04:36]–[05:46] Featuring well-written, period-accurate Alka Seltzer commercials:
  • Promoting relief for colds and sore throats, the segment combines product endorsement with practical advice:

    “Take a knock a seltzer... Why not try a quick switch from that second rate feeling to that feel better feeling?” —Kurt Massey & Narrator ([04:43], [04:51])

Classic American Songcraft

• “Hey Joe” ([05:52]–[07:33])

  • Kurt Massey delivers this upbeat number about a man pining for his friend’s girl, blending humor and heartbreak:

    “Hey, Joe, though we've been the best of friends this is where friendship ends, I gotta have that dolly for my own...” —Kurt Massey ([07:17])

• “My Love” ([07:52]–[09:59])

  • Martha Tilton leads a romantic solo, sweetly expressive:

    “As sweet as morning mist are the lips that heaven gives. As endless as the sea is the love that he gave to me.” —Martha Tilton ([08:16])

• “When Love Goes Wrong” ([10:17]–[11:28])

  • Both singers ham it up, with wry, bluesy lyrics about love turned sour:

    “When love goes wrong, nothing goes right. This one thing I know. When love goes wrong man takes flight and woman gets uppity.” —Martha Tilton ([10:17])
    “A man ain't fit to live with and a woman is a sorry sight.” —Kurt Massey ([10:54])

Final Product Jingles & Lighthearted Wrap-up

• [11:55]–[12:35] Alka Seltzer jingle with playful verses about the product’s fast relief and benefits.

  • “Fast Alka Seltzer, speedy Alka Seltzer… buy enough for home and office too.” —Kurt Massey & Martha Tilton ([12:27], [12:33])

• Teaser for Tomorrow ([12:35]–[13:08])

  • A cheerful exchange about planning a duet of “Istanbul” for the next show, promising both “old favorites” and “something new.”

• Daily Sign-Off Song ([13:13]–[13:24])

  • A traditional ensemble sign-off celebrating music for every weekday.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• [10:02] Martha teasing Kurt's cynicism:

  “Why, Kurt, you sound cynical. I'm surprised at you.” —Martha Tilton

• [13:08] Martha’s promise to listeners:

  “We'll meet you right here tomorrow, same time, same station.” —Martha Tilton

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Hawaiian Medley & Aloha Week Discussion: [00:39]–[04:36]
• Product Commercials (Alka Seltzer): [04:36]–[05:46]; [11:55]–[12:35]
• Classic Songs:
  • "Hey Joe": [05:52]–[07:33]
  • "My Love": [07:52]–[09:59]
  • "When Love Goes Wrong": [10:17]–[11:28]
• Tomorrow's Teaser & Sign-Off: [12:35]–[13:24]

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Episode Tone & Style

True to its vintage roots, the episode is light, warm, and gently humorous. The playful rapport between Kurt Massey and Martha Tilton, authentic era-appropriate commercials, and lush musical numbers transport listeners straight to the living rooms of America’s postwar years. It’s pure family entertainment—genuine, musical, and reminiscent of a bygone era.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is perfect for fans of nostalgia, classic radio entertainment, or those curious about the rhythms and sounds that entertained America before TV. The blend of Hawaiian celebration, love songs, and witty repartee, along with quintessential period advertising, makes it a delightful window into radio’s golden age.

Transcript

[Announcer]

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[Kurt Massey]

Alka Seltzer Speedy Alka Seltzer the Alka

[Narrator]

Seltzer Shore Transcribed In Hollywood Featuring radio's favorite singing stars, Kurt Massey and Martha Tilton with the music of country washmen,

[Kurt Massey]

it's Alka Sel time Ala Selta time.

[Martha Tilton]

Morning, noon and night. It's Al.

[Kurt Massey]

I'm Kurt.

[Martha Tilton]

I'm Martha.

[Kurt Massey]

And here we go with the Ala Seltzer Show. You know friends, right now in Hawaii they're celebrating the island's gayest and most colorful festival, Aloha Week.

[Martha Tilton]

So it seems apropos to begin the show with a massy tiltin salute to the land of the red hibiscus.

[Kurt Massey]

Down high While you wait for a chance to stray on an evening I heard a hula main play. By the moonlit fair When I lingered a while she stole my heart far away. I'm coming back to you my hula

[Martha Tilton]

decide to see if I kiki you

[Kurt Massey]

play for me and once again you sway my heart away with your yakahula hicka too. To you sweetheart Aloha Allah from the

[Martha Tilton]

bottom of my heart Keep the smile on your lips, brush the tear from your eyes

[Kurt Massey]

One more alone and it's time for goodbye to you sweetheart alone

[Martha Tilton]

in dreams I'll be with you dear

[Kurt Massey]

tonight and I'll pray for that day when we too will read again. Until then sweetheart alone. Honey Kaua wiki wiki Sweet brow maiden said to me as she gave me language lessons on the beach head Waikiki Onikaua Wiki Wiki she then said and

[Martha Tilton]

smiled in glee but she would not translate for me.

[Kurt Massey]

On the beach at Waikiki Onika u a wiki wiki. She was surely teasing me and so I caught that man and kissed her on the beach at Waikiki Onikaua Wikiwiki. You have learned it perfectly. Don't forget what I have. Taugh said the little hula maiden on the beach at Waikiki.

[Narrator]

Got a cold irritated throat. Are you feeling kind of second rate?

[Kurt Massey]

Well, here's a first rate answer to that second rate feeling. Take a knock a seltzer.

[Narrator]

Why not try a quick switch from that second rate feeling to that feel better feeling? Take Alka Seltzer for fast relief from cold discomforts. Yes Get Alka Seltzer and let Alka Seltzer relieve that ache all over. Feverish feeling, the headache and raw, irritated throat that comes with a cold. Just drop a tablet or two into a glass of water and watch Alka Seltzer fizz. It's ready to go to work as soon as you drink it. Alka Seltzer, with its effective pain reliever, brings relief fast. Actually, tests prove the system absorbs more of the pain reliever faster from Alka Seltzer. Then, to soothe the raw, irritated feeling in your throat, try Alka Seltzer as a gargle. Just dissolve two tablets and a quarter glass of warm water and gargle for effective relief if you have a cold. Now, take care of yourself and take Speedy Alka Seltzer to help you feel better. While you're getting better, Alka Seltzer is sold at drugstores everywhere.

[Kurt Massey]

Hey, cur, I'm here.

[Martha Tilton]

Why don't you sing a nice, bright, happy song like hey Joe Happy song?

[Kurt Massey]

Yeah, I guess it is for everybody but poor Joe, he's about to lose his gal. Hey, Joe, where'd you find that pearly girly? Where'd you get that jolly dolly? How'd you rate that dish I wish was mine hey, Jo, she's got skin that's creamy Dreamy eyes that look so lovey Dovey lips as red as cherry berry wild and I Listen, Jo, I'm not a heel but oh, buddy, let me tell you how I feel She's a honey, she's a sugar pie I'm warning you I'm gonna try to steal her from you hey, Joe, though we've been the best of friends this is where friendship and I gotta have that dolly for my own now come on, Jo, let's make a deal. Let me dance with her to see if she is real she's the cutest girl I've ever seen I tell you face to face I mean to steal her from you He. Jo, we'll be friends until the end this looks like the end, my friend. I gotta have that dolly for my own I want her for my very own.

[Martha Tilton]

And now, if you'll be kind enough to lower the mic a little, I'd like to sing a love song. Kirk.

[Kurt Massey]

With pleasure, Martha. With pleasure. And unless you've changed your mind since rehearsal, it's going to be My Love. My love, that's right.

[Martha Tilton]

Who makes the raven sing? My love, My love who brings the joy to spring? Who else but you? My love who makes my poor heart cry? My Love, my love. Whose eyes are stars on high? None else but you, my love. As sweet as morning mist are the lips that heaven gives. As endless as the sea is the love that he gave to me. And what have I to give? My love, my love. As long as I shall live, you'll always be my love. You'll always be my love.

[Kurt Massey]

Love, love. Isn't it wonderful While it lasts.

[Martha Tilton]

Why, Kurt, you sound cynical. I'm surprised at you.

[Kurt Massey]

Well, now, don't be, Martha. I just had to say something like that. Get us into a tune which describes the utter misery of it all. When love goes wrong.

[Martha Tilton]

When love goes wrong Nothing goes right. This one thing I know. When love goes wrong man takes flight and woman gets uppity. O the sun don't bling the moon don't shine the tide don't ebb and

[Kurt Massey]

flow well, a clock won't strike and a match won't lie. When love goes wrong Nothing goes right.

[Martha Tilton]

The blues all gather round you the

[Kurt Massey]

day as dark as night A man

[Martha Tilton]

ain't fit to live with and a

[Kurt Massey]

woman is a sorry sight.

[Martha Tilton]

It's like I say that you're better off dead.

[Kurt Massey]

When love has lost its glow.

[Martha Tilton]

So take this down in black and white. When love goes wrong, nothing goes right.

[Kurt Massey]

Well, it's like I said, you're better off day when love has lost its glow.

[Martha Tilton]

So take this down in black and white. When love goes wrong, nothing goes right.

[Kurt Massey]

When love goes wrong nothing goes wrong. When love goes wrong there's very little

[Martha Tilton]

left that's why

[Kurt Massey]

nothing goes right. Alka Seltzer Speedy Alka Cell.

[Narrator]

Sometimes, when you least expect it, acid indigestion can come along. Well, you can get fast relief when you take Speedy Alka Seltzer. It reduces excess stomach acidity with instant alkalizing action and soothes and settles an acid upset stomach with gentle effervescent action. Yes, those tiny bubbles in a glass of Alka Seltzer help bring gentle, effective relief. So remember, Alka Seltzer is fast. Alka Seltzer is gentle. When acid upset stomach or heartburn causes discomfort, let Alka Seltzer relieve that stuffy too full feeling and help you feel better.

[Kurt Massey]

Fast Alka Seltzer Speedy Alka Seltzer Buy

[Martha Tilton]

enough for home and office too.

[Kurt Massey]

Upset stomach can be brief. Speedy breath, you fast relieve. Alka Seltzer. Well, I guess that takes care of things for today, Martha. Any bright thoughts in your pretty blond head for tomorrow?

[Martha Tilton]

Mmm. Got one idea, Kurt. You know, there's a real catchy novelty number called Istanbul and it sounds like a King duet.

[Kurt Massey]

Well, let's stay down and give it the once over. That'll be something new for tomorrow. And as you regular listeners know, we'll have some old favorites rehearsed for you too.

[Martha Tilton]

We'll meet you right here tomorrow, same time, same station.

[Kurt Massey]

We'll sing the old song, we'll sing the new, we'll sing the bright songs and maybe we'll sing the blues On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday two for

[Martha Tilton]

you, for you, for you.

[Narrator]

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[Martha Tilton]

Foreign.

[Announcer]

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[Narrator]

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