Amos & Andy 40-05-19 And The Winner Is

Summary

Podcast Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Amos & Andy 40-05-19 And The Winner Is
Release Date: June 12, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, listeners are transported back to the beloved Golden Age of Radio with the iconic duo, Amos Jones and Andy Brown. Titled "Amos & Andy 40-05-19 And The Winner Is," the episode revolves around the bustling preparations and unexpected twists of a local beauty contest organized by Amos and Andy under the sponsorship of their Lodge.

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Planning the Beauty Contest

The episode kicks off with Amos Jones and Andy Brown brainstorming ideas to capitalize on their recent success. Following a profitable masquerade event, they decide to host a beauty contest to further boost their lodge's finances.

• Amos Jones [01:49]: "Yeah, Fred, we're going to hold a big beauty contest with the lodge in back of us."
• Kingfish [01:54]: "Yeah. And as the contest manager, I can say that we're going to make a lot of money on it too."

Their enthusiasm is palpable as they discuss leveraging the lodge's members' financial goodwill to maximize profits.

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Establishing Contest Rules and Entry Process

Amos meticulously outlines the contest rules, ensuring it's both fair and lucrative.

• Amos Jones [02:10]: "After all, Fred, the time to milk a cow is when she got milk. You know."

The rules are straightforward:

1. Entry Fee: $2 per participant.
2. Eligibility: Must be a woman, weigh less than 184 pounds, and be under 38 years old to prevent reigning queens from dominating.
3. Judging: Andy and Henry Van Porter are appointed as judges.

Amos Jones [02:58]: "I'll read them to you. Rules of beauty contest. Rule one, you gotta be a woman. Rule two, you gotta be a woman with $2."

The prize—a silver loving cup with the winner's name inscribed—adds a tangible incentive for participation.

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Judge Selection and Potential Bribery

As entries begin to pour in, tensions rise between the judges, Henry Van Porter and Amos. Kingfish navigates the murky waters of contest integrity when Mr. Washington, a contestant's father, approaches with a questionable proposal.

• Mr. Washington [04:30]: "Andy Brown's gonna be one of the judges, ain't he?"
• Kingfish [04:47]: "Mr. Washington, if I'd understand that you was trying to bribe us, I want you to know here and now that this contest is on the level."

Mr. Washington offers a bribe to ensure his daughter, Thelma, wins, highlighting the ethical dilemmas faced by Amos and Andy.

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Deadlock Among Judges

The competition between judges deepens as both support different contestants, leading to a deadlock.

• Amos Jones [05:16]: "I'm getting dizzy looking at the pictures of all these gals in the contest. Tell me this, is they pretty or is I getting old?"
• Amos Jones [09:19]: "Yeah, well, she is definitely a different. Different type, all right."

Henry favors Henrietta Snow, praising her unique beauty, while Amos supports Thelma Washington, causing a stalemate that threatens the contest's outcome.

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Bringing in Cecil B. DeMille as a Third Judge

To resolve the impasse, Amos and Kingfish seek the expertise of Hollywood legend Cecil B. DeMille as a third judge, hoping his influence will lend credibility to the contest.

• Kingfish [13:33]: "We might speak to her and see if she would ask Mr. DeMille if he would be kind enough to be one of our judges."

DeMille's involvement introduces a high-profile element, but his impartiality is soon called into question.

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The Final Decision and Twist

During the contest announcement, DeMille delivers an unexpected verdict by selecting a third contestant, Mildred Forrest, instead of siding with either judge's preferred candidate.

• Cecil B. DeMille [23:33]: "Therefore, I hereby award the title of Harlem's Beauty Queen to Miss Mildred Forrest."

Amos and Kingfish are bewildered by the decision, suspecting favoritism.

Confronting DeMille reveals the twist:

• Henry Van Porter [25:36]: "She happens to be the daughter of my cook."

This revelation exposes the underlying bias and corruption, undermining the contest's integrity and highlighting themes of nepotism and favoritism.

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Conclusion and Closing Remarks

The episode wraps up with DeMille's departure and the aftermath of the contested decision, leaving Amos and Andy to reflect on the complexities of organizing such events. The narrative underscores the challenges of maintaining fairness and the ease with which personal interests can influence ostensibly impartial judgments.

Listeners are left anticipating the next installment, where Amos and Andy navigate further comedic and ethical dilemmas.

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Notable Quotes

• Amos Jones [02:58]: "Rules of beauty contest. Rule one, you gotta be a woman."
• Amos Jones [05:16]: "I'm getting dizzy looking at the pictures of all these gals in the contest. Tell me this, is they pretty or is I getting old?"
• Cecil B. DeMille [23:33]: "Therefore, I hereby award the title of Harlem's Beauty Queen to Miss Mildred Forrest."
• Henry Van Porter [25:36]: "She happens to be the daughter of my cook."

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Themes and Insights

• Ethical Dilemmas: The episode explores the ease with which personal gain can corrupt fair proceedings.
• Bias and Nepotism: DeMille's favoritism towards his cook's daughter underscores the impact of personal relationships on professional decisions.
• Integrity vs. Profit: Amos and Andy's initial intention to profit from the contest is tested by ethical challenges, reflecting real-world conflicts between integrity and monetary incentives.

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Final Thoughts

"Amos & Andy 40-05-19 And The Winner Is" masterfully blends humor with poignant social commentary, capturing the essence of classic radio storytelling. Through its engaging plot and memorable characters, the episode offers both entertainment and a critical look at human nature and societal norms.

Transcript

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[Andy Brown]

Andy, come on, let's go.

[Amos Jones]

Wait a minute. What's going on here?

[Cecil B. DeMille]

It's the Amos and Andy Show. Yes. Welcome to the Amos and Andy show with their guest Tonight, Cecil B. DeMille. Brought to you by the makers of Rins. The annual masquerade at the lodge last week was such a success financially that the boys decided to follow it up with a beauty contest under the sponsorship of the Lodge. Amos, Andy the Kingfish and Fred Gwindell are in Andy's office discussing it now.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, Fred, we're going to hold a big beauty contest with the lodge in back of us.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. And as the contest manager, I can say that we're going to make a lot of money on it too. Well, now that sound good, but ain't it a little soon after the masquerade? Look at the masquerade last week we done took in $125. And that shows that the members has got a lot of money.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah. After all, Fred, the time to milk a cow is when she got milk. You know.

[Andy Brown]

You see, the way we gonna work this beauty contest is to have the gals pay an entry fee of $2 and then send in photographs of themselves. Andy and Mr. Van Porter is gonna be the judges.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, that's right. I already got A lot of the pictures here.

[Kingfish]

Say, Andy, how did they happen to.

[Henry Van Porter]

Pick you for one of the judges?

[Amos Jones]

Well, what's wrong with that? For 30 years, women's has been my specialty.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah, Fred, when we is using. Andy, we using skilled labor is. You got the rules of the contest.

[Andy Brown]

Worked out yet, Andy? You said you was gonna work out a set of rules.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, well, I finished them up this morning. Good. Yeah, I got them right here. I'll read them to you.

[Kingfish]

Yeah.

[Amos Jones]

Rules of beauty contest. Rule one, you gotta be a woman. Rule two, you gotta be a woman with $2.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah, that's the entry fee.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah. Rule three, you gotta weigh less than 184 pounds and be under 38 years old.

[Kingfish]

Less than 180.

[Henry Van Porter]

Under 38.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah. That's to keep out Madam Queen and the Kingfisher's Wife.

[Kingfish]

Well, you know, we gotta draw the line someplace.

[Andy Brown]

Has you fellas decided on a prize for the winner yet?

[Amos Jones]

Oh, sure. We're gonna give her a beautiful silver loving cup with her name scribed on it.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, we got it over at Honest Joe's Pawn Shop. We got it second handed. It had a little scribing already on it there.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, but we was adding something to it and kind of fixing it up.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, how'd that work out? How's it gonna read again, Andy?

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, I got it written down right here. It is. Oh, yeah. Harlem beauty queen of 1944 and pocket billiard champion of Jersey City, 1912.

[Kingfish]

Come in, Mr. Wiseman, come in. What can I do for you?

[Mr. Washington]

Well, Kingfish, my daughter Thelma's entered in this beauty contest you're running here. And I'd like to make sure she wins it.

[Kingfish]

Well, now, look, Ms. Washington, whoever's the most beautiful gal is gonna be the winner. That's all there is to it.

[Mr. Washington]

Well, I lay my cards on the table, Kingfish. Andy Brown's gonna be one of the judges, ain't he?

[Kingfish]

That's right.

[Mr. Washington]

You is a good friend of his. He could swing this whole contest. The Kingfish. If my daughter wins, I'll give$50.25 for you and 25 for Andy Brown.

[Kingfish]

Mr. Washington, if I'd understand that you was trying to bribe us, I want you to know here and now that this contest is on the level. And the thought of bribery is repulsive to me.

[Mr. Washington]

Well, if you ain't interested, I guess I'll be running along.

[Kingfish]

Well, now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[Amos Jones]

Don't go.

[Kingfish]

Come here.

[Amos Jones]

Wait.

[Kingfish]

Wait just a minute, Joe. Now, just cause I is against bribery, ain't no reason we can't sit down and just kind of talk.

[Mr. Washington]

Well, what's that talk about?

[Kingfish]

Well, I was just wondering here that if your daughter was to win the contest without no bribery revolved, would you still be willing to hand out 50 bucks as kind of a token of your joy and happiness?

[Mr. Washington]

Well, look, if my daughter wins a contest, I'll pay you $50.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, you wouldn't want to up your joy and happiness to 75, would you? Dare?

[Mr. Washington]

No. $50 is my top.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, I just asked you, Dale. Tell me, what kind of looking gal is your daughter?

[Mr. Washington]

Has you ever seed my wife?

[Kingfish]

Oh, sure, yes. Seed her many times.

[Mr. Washington]

Well, they say that the Thelma's the spitting image of a mother.

[Kingfish]

Hmm. I see your problem there. Yeah, trying to bring in a long shot, huh?

[Mr. Washington]

Well, put any way you want. But Thelma's in this thing and her mother told me to see that she wins it.

[Kingfish]

Well, now, listen. Everybody got the same chance to win. And if Thelma wins it, it ain't gonna be because of the $50 we is getting. Cause bribery is out. Oh, by the way, how soon after the contest as we get?

[Amos Jones]

I tell you, Amos, I'm getting dizzy looking at the pictures of all these gals in the contest. Tell me this, is they pretty or is I getting old?

[Andy Brown]

Well, there's some pretty gals here. Now, look at this picture here. Now, there's a prettier gal as you ever want to see, Andy.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, yeah, Bernice Fletcher, huh? Now, there's something else. I happen to know that gal. And she ain't got no long eyelashes like that. There's the fake kind that you paste on. You get them over at Barton's Drugstore.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, well, she got nice long hair, though, ain't she?

[Amos Jones]

Oh, listen, she ain't got no long hair like that neither. You get that at Barton's Drugstore, too.

[Andy Brown]

Well, she'll make her look pretty all right.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, but the only thing is, when it comes to voting, it's a question whether to vote for the gal or the drugstore.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, look at this next one here. I don't think she gonna win.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, let's see who she is. Oh, yeah, that's George Washington's daughter, Thelma. Amos, I wonder if somebody sent this picture in as a joke.

[Andy Brown]

Well, I guess every woman thinks she's pretty in her own mind and.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, well, she got a looking glass, ain't she? I show pity to a fellow that marries her with him, every night is going to be Halloween.

[Andy Brown]

Yeah, well, now, let's see what's next here.

[Kingfish]

Well, hello there, boys. How is it?

[Amos Jones]

Hello, Kingfish.

[Andy Brown]

Hiya, Kingfish.

[Kingfish]

Say, Amos, I don't like to be unpolite, but I'd like to talk to Andy conferential under his hat, if you don't mind. It's reporting.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, that's all right. I gotta go anyway. Well, so long, fellas.

[Amos Jones]

So long, son.

[Kingfish]

Goodbye, Amos.

[Amos Jones]

What you want to see me about, Kingfisher?

[Kingfish]

Brother Andy?

[Amos Jones]

Look here.

[Kingfish]

I just been approached by a man that's got a daughter in the contest. Now, he is willing to give me and you $25 a piece if his daughter win the contest. Now, he's.

[Amos Jones]

Wait a minute. Now, wait a minute. This contest is on the level. There ain't gonna be no bribery stuff.

[Kingfish]

What you talking about? Of course there ain't gonna be no bribery. And we ain't supposed to be influenced one way or the other by his money. But just in case his daughter do win, we gets it just as a token of his joy and happiness.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, well, that's different. Say, what's her daughter's name anyway?

[Kingfish]

Thelma Washington.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, her. Well, it looked like her papa's gonna save some money.

[Kingfish]

Is you got her picture there right here.

[Amos Jones]

Here she is right here. See?

[Kingfish]

Uh. Oh, the end of the trail.

[Amos Jones]

Kingfish. Ain't there no other papas that might wanna give a $50 token of their joy and happiness?

[Kingfish]

Now, wait a minute. Let's not be hasty about this. You know, there's different types of beauty.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, well, she is definitely a different. Different type, all right.

[Kingfish]

There.

[Amos Jones]

Look at the bumps on her nose.

[Kingfish]

Well, now, look, Andy, like I say, there's different types of beauty after all. Take the Rocky Mountains. They got bumps on them, but they're beautiful just the same, you know?

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, I know, but the Rocky Mountains ain't got ears like that.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, it is pretty big, ain't it? But on the other hand, Andy, look at them eyes there. Oh, yeah. They got the same look in them that a papa had when he said he gonna give us $25 a piece if she won't.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, when you get right down to it, she is the most beautiful gal I done ever seen.

[Kingfish]

You know, I tell you what to do. And being that Henry Van Porter is the other judge, why don't you send all these pictures over to him? Then we'll drop over to see him a little later in the afternoon.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, we gotta make sure that when Henry sees the picture of Thelma, he don't make the same Mistake that we made when we first looked at it.

[Mr. Washington]

Well, Henry, do you understand the proposition?

[Amos Jones]

Yes, Mr. Snow. In other words, if your daughter Henrietta wins the beauty contest, you will take out a $10,000 life insurance policy with me.

[Mr. Washington]

That's right.

[Amos Jones]

Yes. What? I think I understand, and I might add, that your daughter has a very good chance of winning the contest.

[Kingfish]

Okay.

[Mr. Washington]

We'll see how it goes.

[Amos Jones]

By the way, Mr. Snow, when will you take out this policy?

[Mr. Washington]

The day after the contest.

[Amos Jones]

I get it. Goodbye, Mr. Snow.

[Kingfish]

Hmm.

[Amos Jones]

Henrietta Snow. Let me look through this stack of pictures here. Come in. Hi, Henry. Hi.

[Kingfish]

Well, hello there, Henry. How are you?

[Amos Jones]

Hello, boy. Sit down. I'm glad you dropped in. There's something that just come up that I want to speak to you about. Yeah, something we want to speak to you about, too.

[Kingfish]

You know, Henry, about this contest, there's a lot of different ways to judge beauty.

[Amos Jones]

Yes, I agrees with that.

[Kingfish]

Tell me, Henry, has you ever seen the Rocky Mountains?

[Amos Jones]

Well, I see pictures of them. Yeah. And even more beautiful if they had ears. You got them pictures I sent up here, didn't you, Henry? Yes. And so far, the most beautiful girl in the contest is unquestionably Henrietta Snow.

[Kingfish]

Now, wait a minute. What does she look like?

[Amos Jones]

Well, I. Let me look through these pictures here. We'll soon find out. Yeah. Well, when you come to the picture of Thelma Washington, haul that out, too. Wait a minute, wait a minute. There's Thelma Washington's picture right there.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Now, as you look at this picture of Thelma, Henry, just kind of look at a little of a face at a time. In other words, I don't want you to sour yourself on it before you sort of get the hang of it. You see what I mean?

[Amos Jones]

Here it is right here, Henry. Oh, my goodness. Is you gentlemen serious?

[Kingfish]

I told you to look at it slow, Henry, and not bite off more than you could choose.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, Henry, this gal's beauty is a different kind of beauty. Well, as a judge in this contest, I can tell you right now that I will Never vote for Ms. Washington. Up till now, it looks like Ms. Snow is obviously the winner, Henry.

[Kingfish]

Now, don't jump to no conclusions.

[Amos Jones]

My vote is going to Thelma Washington.

[Kingfish]

Gentlemen, it looks like we is in a deadlock.

[Cecil B. DeMille]

Well, no amount of argument has succeeded in breaking the deadlock between the two judges of the beauty contest, Andy and Henry Van Porter. With the big affair at which the winner will be announced only two days off, the situation is a bit confused. Andy, Amos the Kingfish and Henry Van Porter are In the office discussing it.

[Andy Brown]

Now, you know, I've been thinking the thing over, fellas, and really I think the only way to solve the thing is to get a third judge to pick the winner.

[Kingfish]

Amos, that ain't a bad idea. Now, in thinking of people that would make a good judge, I got somebody that people believe in. That sound is the Rock of Gibraltar. A man that's full of integrity. A man that's fair and square from the word go.

[Andy Brown]

Who is it?

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[Kingfish]

Who is it?

[Amos Jones]

Ha ha ha.

[Kingfish]

It's me.

[Amos Jones]

Knock on your life, kingfish. I will not stand for it.

[Andy Brown]

Well, I had a thought about who the third judge could be. You might think it's kind of reaching for the moon, but there's a chance.

[Amos Jones]

Well, what is that, Amos?

[Andy Brown]

Well, it just so happened that Ruby's got a friend by the name of Amelia that cooks for Mr. Cecil B. DeMille, the big Hollywood moving picture director. And he happens to be in New.

[Kingfish]

York for a while.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, yeah, I hear the hymn.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Didn't he direct that big picture Reap Gone with the Wild Wind and all that stuff.

[Andy Brown]

Anyway, his cook is coming up to our house tonight and I was thinking that we might speak to her and see if she would ask Mr. DeMille if he would be kind enough to be one of our judges.

[Amos Jones]

Yes, the name DeMille in connection with our beauty contest would certainly lend class. Yeah, and I'm sure it would help the ticket sale, which ain't been too promising.

[Kingfish]

Tell you what you do, Emma. That's a good idea. Have your wife's friend amelia speak to Mr. DeMille and see if she can arrange an appointment for me and Andy. We'll go up to see him and explain the whole thing to him. Say, tomorrow morning at 11:00 in the morning.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, good morning, Mr. DeMille.

[Henry Van Porter]

Good morning, Hardrick.

[Amos Jones]

By the way, Mr. DeMille, I've been over the mail. There's nothing of any importance.

[Henry Van Porter]

Well, that's fortunate, because I've Got a script to read?

[Amos Jones]

Oh, I did get a telephone call from Gary Cooper. He wants to know the release dates on his picture, the story of Dr. Wassell.

[Henry Van Porter]

Well, tell Gary it'll be early in June. And Hardwick, call off all appointments for today.

[Amos Jones]

Yes, Mr. DeMille. Oh, there's just one appointment.

[Henry Van Porter]

Hardwick, please, I don't want to be interrupted today.

[Amos Jones]

It's just that the cook wants to see you.

[Henry Van Porter]

The cook? Good Lord, why have you kept her waiting? Is she complaining or anything?

[Amos Jones]

Apparently not. She didn't say what it was.

[Henry Van Porter]

Well, give her a raise anyway.

[Amos Jones]

But, Mr. DeMille, that's the third raise.

[Henry Van Porter]

You'Ve given her this week. Yes. Do you think it's enough?

[Amos Jones]

Yes, I rather think so. You know, Mr. DeMille, I haven't gotten a raise in over a year.

[Henry Van Porter]

Can you cook?

[Amos Jones]

I'll bring her in. Oh, Amelia, Mr. DeMille will see you now.

[Kingfish]

Right in.

[Amos Jones]

This way, gentlemen. Mr. DeMille, these are the gentlemen I.

[Kingfish]

Spoke to you about at breakfast this morning.

[Henry Van Porter]

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. I had forgotten for a moment.

[Kingfish]

This is Mr. George Kingfish Stevens. And this is Mr. Brown.

[Amos Jones]

Hello, Mr. D. Mill.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yes, how is you? Just in from Hollywood, huh?

[Henry Van Porter]

Oh, I've been here for a little while.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Tell me, how is everything back in the Cinnamon city?

[Amos Jones]

Yes. Orchards to your last picture and all that stuff.

[Henry Van Porter]

Well, thank you, thank you. I understand you boys are running a beauty contest and you want me to be one of the judges.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah. So that's right.

[Henry Van Porter]

Well, I appreciate the honor, but I'm just so busy that I don't think I'll quite have time for it.

[Kingfish]

Why, it would be nice if you'd.

[Amos Jones]

Do it, Mr. DeMille.

[Henry Van Porter]

Oh. Oh, oh, oh, well, I. I'd be happy to.

[Kingfish]

Well, now, as long as that's settled.

[Amos Jones]

I'll get back to the kitchen and you gentlemen can talk everything over.

[Kingfish]

Oh, thank you very much, Amelia.

[Henry Van Porter]

Now, just. Just what is it that's expected of me in this contest?

[Amos Jones]

Well, sir, you see, you would be one of the three judges, Mr. DeMille.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. You see, we are going to work the thing on a point system in judging the different gals pictures.

[Henry Van Porter]

Well, that's certainly a fair enough way.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. So now we start off by giving five points for beauty. And then we give five points for personality in the face.

[Henry Van Porter]

Yeah, I see.

[Kingfish]

Then we give 25 points for the novelty of the face.

[Andy Brown]

You see.

[Kingfish]

You know, if it's out of the general run, if it's different. And then we give 50 points for vigor and 75 points for ruggedness. Perhaps I.

[Henry Van Porter]

Perhaps I misunderstand. Is this going to be a beauty contest or something on the order of the Golden Gloves?

[Amos Jones]

Oh, no, this going to be a beauty contest, all right. It's just that we is approaching the thing from a new angle.

[Henry Van Porter]

Well, it's certainly broad in its scope. Any contest with a scoring system such as this could be won by either Hedy Lamar or Boris Karloff.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Well, now, here's the pictures of the gals that's going to be in the contest up to now, Mr. DeMille.

[Henry Van Porter]

Thank you. I'd like to look at them.

[Amos Jones]

You wear glasses, don't you, Mr. DeMille? You want me to get them for you?

[Henry Van Porter]

No, I don't think I need them.

[Kingfish]

Now, this picture on top here is the gal that we favors. This is Ms. Thelma Washington.

[Henry Van Porter]

Oh, yes. Perhaps I'd better have my glasses. You know, eyes play funny tricks sometimes when you don't have your glasses on.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, yeah. Here you is. Here's your glasses, Mr. DeMille.

[Henry Van Porter]

Thank you. Now, let me look at this picture again. No, it wasn't my eyes.

[Kingfish]

I wouldn't use no snap judgment on thelma Weissen here, Mr. DeMille. Beauty all depends on how you look at it.

[Henry Van Porter]

Well, let me look at some of these other pictures you have here. Say, this one's very attractive. What's her name?

[Kingfish]

Henrietta Snow. Oh, matter of fact, that's the gal that the other judge, Mr. Van Porter, is kind of leaning to.

[Henry Van Porter]

Well, with only five points for beauty, she may be severely handicapped. She seems to lack the novelty and ruggedness of Thelma Washington. She certainly is pretty, though.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, she fairly pretty, all right, but in sort of an out of date way. You see. Now, look at them dimples there. Why, dimples went out with buttoned shoes.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, that's right, they did.

[Henry Van Porter]

Well, as I understand it, Mr. Van Porter believes that a beautiful girl ought to be beautiful.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, a crazy man.

[Henry Van Porter]

Mr. Brown, on the other hand, seems to favor the type of face that. That requires a lot of explaining.

[Kingfish]

Well, anyway, that's the whole situation, Mr. DeMille. It look like Henry Van Porter is going to vote for Ms. Snow. And Mr. Brown here is in Thelma Washington's corner. Now, use your own conscience, but kind of use these two votes to guide it. And then the night after tomorrow, you gets up on the platform at the Lodge hall and your vote is the one that counts. You announces the winner from the platform?

[Amos Jones]

Oh, yes, sir. And your cook, Amelia, will show you where the Lodge hall is.

[Kingfish]

Yes, and, oh, by the way, Mr. DeMille I think you ought to know that Thelma Washington's papa is a very generous man. And if his daughter should win, there might be a five spot in it for you.

[Andy Brown]

Well, it was sure nice of you to come up to our lodge, Mr. DeMille, and meet our committee and do this for us.

[Henry Van Porter]

Oh, that's all right. I'm very happy to do it.

[Andy Brown]

Yes. Sure was lucky that we knowed Amelia so she could ask you about it.

[Henry Van Porter]

Well, there's very little I wouldn't do for Amelia. Oh, Hardwick.

[Amos Jones]

Yes, Mr. DeMille?

[Henry Van Porter]

Remind me to give Amelia another raise when we get home.

[Kingfish]

Well, there is, Mr. DeMille. It won't be long now. Matter of fact, they're going out on the stairs now and start to make your introduction speech. Then you gets up there and announces who the winner is.

[Henry Van Porter]

And I present the cup.

[Kingfish]

Yes. By the way, one thing. Pardon me. You know Mr. DeMille.

[Henry Van Porter]

Yeah, I know. I know. Thelma Washington.

[Kingfish]

Yes. Don't forget about the fire spot. Well, I'll get on out on the stage now and start introducing you.

[Andy Brown]

Oh, boy, that sure is a lot of excitement around here tonight, Mr. Mill.

[Henry Van Porter]

Yes. Yeah, this is a big night for everybody.

[Amos Jones]

Oh, Mr. DeMille, I've been looking all over for you.

[Henry Van Porter]

How are you, Mr. Van Porter?

[Amos Jones]

Pardon me, Amos. Mr. DeMille, there's just one thing. I'm in the insurance business.

[Henry Van Porter]

Yes, yes, I know, I know. Henrietta Snow.

[Amos Jones]

Yes, yes, and remember that.

[Mr. Washington]

Excuse me, Mr. DeMille, would you please come out on the platform now?

[Henry Van Porter]

Yes, coming out.

[Andy Brown]

Well, good luck to you, Mr. DeMille.

[Kingfish]

And so it gives me great pleasure and pride to welcome our extinguished guest, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Mr. DeMille, as final judge in the contest, will announce the winner. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille.

[Henry Van Porter]

Thank you. Thank you. I know you're not here to listen to any speeches. You all want to know who is the winner of this contest, so I'll get right to the point. After judging carefully all the contestants, I found it very difficult to make a decision. Because there are so many whose beauty certainly entitles them to a prize. However, I'm only allowed to choose one. Therefore, I hereby award the title of Harlem's Beauty Queen to Miss Mildred Forrest.

[Kingfish]

Well, how in the world could he have picked her?

[Amos Jones]

Gentlemen, you could have knocked me over with a feather.

[Kingfish]

Oh, wait a minute. Here come Mr. DeMille now. I think he's through signing them. Order giraffes over there.

[Amos Jones]

Yeah, I can't understand it. Kingfish. Mildred Forrest. She's even worse looking than Thelma Henrietta Snow ought have been the winner.

[Kingfish]

Oh, what you talking about, Henry? Thelma Washington oughta got the thing.

[Amos Jones]

Wait a minute.

[Kingfish]

Wait a minute.

[Amos Jones]

Mr. DeMille. Excuse me, sir. Can we see you over here, please, sir?

[Henry Van Porter]

What is it, boys?

[Kingfish]

Mr. DeMille, we are shocked by your decision. That's what we is.

[Amos Jones]

Yes. I don't understand it at all. Tell me this. How did you happen to pick Mildred Forrest? Mr. Deville?

[Henry Van Porter]

It's this way, boys. You other two judges had your reasons for picking Henrietta Snow and thelma Washington. You, Mr. Van Porter, I know that selling insurance is uppermost in your mind. And you, Mr. Brown, I guess the almighty dollar is every bit as important to you. Well, I had a reason for voting the way I did. You know, there's one thing in this world which a person cherishes and wants to keep. A thing which today we value even more than money and which we'll do anything to protect. It was for such a reason that I voted for Mildred Forrest.

[Kingfish]

Yeah?

[Amos Jones]

Well, what is the reason, Mr. DeMille?

[Henry Van Porter]

She happens to be the daughter of my cook.

[Cecil B. DeMille]

Be sure to tune in next Friday night at this same time for another half hour of fun with Amos and Andy, when Andy has to hide from a 6 foot 4 sailor for 30 days. Our thanks to Cecil B. DeMille for appearing with us tonight. His latest production, the Paramount Picture, the story of Dr. Wassell, will have its Hollywood premiere early in June. And here's a tip. Listen for Betty Grable, Dick Powell and Carmen Miranda. A great combination all together. In next Monday night's Lux Radio Theatre presentation, Springtime in the Rockies, with Cecil B. DeMille, of course. That's Lux Radio Theater. Next Monday night, see your local paper for time and station. This is Harlow Wilcox. And before I say good night, just one more thing. This is no time to relax about saving fats. Now they're more urgently needed than ever for the precious sulfur drugs that will save lives. For ammunition that will bring us to victory sooner. Every drop, no matter how dark, is needed. You'll get paid. And you'll get two red points for every pound you turn in. Thank you and Good night.

[Harlow Wilcox]

Nearly 90% of kids who vape say flavors are why they do it. A lot of the flavors that I've heard are like peach, mango, watermelon. It makes it seem like more childlike and innocent. Oh, I tried this once. It won't be that much of a problem. But then eventually it becomes a problem. It's time to restrict the sale of flavored tobacco products in Oregon. And protect our kids from nicotine addiction. Urge lawmakers to Pass Senate Bill 702A. Take action at flavors hookoregon kids.org paid for by the Campaign for Tobacco Free Kids Action Fund.