Amos & Andy 49-11-13 Thanksgiving Show

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Amos & Andy 49-11-13 Thanksgiving Show

Date: November 15, 2025
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio

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Overview

This episode of Harold's Old Time Radio features a classic installment of “Amos & Andy,” originally aired on November 13, 1949. The episode, known as the "Thanksgiving Show," brings to life a humorous misadventure involving the Kingfish, Andy, and a tourist named Lucy Benson. The comedy centers around mistaken identities, a supposed international spy, and a courtroom farce, all wrapped in the show’s beloved blend of wit, wordplay, and musical interludes. The episode also highlights a Thanksgiving theme and familial reunions, with Sapphire (the Kingfish's wife) returning to visit relatives, and the antics that unfold in her absence.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Sapphire Departs for Chicago

[01:47]

• Sapphire prepares to leave on a 10-day trip to visit relatives.
• The Kingfish, characteristically thrifty, tries to send his laundry with her. She refuses, leading to their typical comedic banter:
  • Kingfish: “No, honey, not only ain’t you going to carry it, but I ain’t going to carry it neither. This time we is going to do the thing right. Oh, Red cap...”
    [02:34]

Notable Quote:

Sapphire: "You take that back home and wash it yourself."
[02:20]

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2. Kingfish’s New ‘Business’: The Sightseeing Scam

[03:10] – [04:43]

• Kingfish, seeing an opportunity, masquerades as the proprietor of a sightseeing service and signs up Lucy Benson, a naive tourist, for $10/day walking tours of New York.
• He plans to make $70 off seven prepaid days.

Notable Quotes:

Kingfish (to Lucy): “We is the largest sightseeing company in the world.”
[03:57]

Lucy: “Will the bus be very crowded?”
Kingfish: “Bus? You hoof it!”
[04:19 – 04:28]

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3. Recruiting Andy: The FBI Ruse

[05:31] – [09:45]

• Kingfish enlists Andy to guide Lucy around town, tricking him by claiming she’s a European spy under investigation by the FBI.
• He stages a fake secret phone call to “Washington” and swears Andy in as a ‘secret agent.’
• Andy is persuaded the job is dangerous but is hooked when told the female spy is beautiful.

Notable Quotes:

Kingfish: "Andy, I just thought here. How would you like to join up with FBI and handle the job?”
Andy: “Sorry, too dangerous.”
Kingfish: “The spy's a beautiful figure and she's a good looking gal.”
Andy: “Shake hands with your new FBI man.”
[08:17 – 08:44]

Kingfish (as oath): "I, Andrew H. Brown, swears to keep my big mouth shut and to walk my feet off from a country. I also swear not to tell anybody that I the FBI agent and to go on looking stupid so nobody will suspect that I suspect him."
[08:55 – 09:11]

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4. Gospel Interlude: ‘Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho’

[09:53] – [12:43]

• A musical interlude with the gospel chorus singing "Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho," providing typical 1940s radio show variety.

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5. Shorty the Barber's Comic Relief

[13:59] – [16:12]

• Shorty the barber adds slapstick humor, claiming to have been a detective and recounting amusing attempts to grow taller.
• Reveals Andy is being paid directly by Lucy, which upsets Kingfish as he’s being cut out of the fee.

Notable Quotes:

Shorty: "I made up my mind right then and there that I would grow taller like other fellow... after working on it for a year, I increased my height by two full inches."
[15:33 – 15:50]

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6. The ‘Spy’ Plot Intensifies, with Andy Fooled

[16:21] – [19:17]

• Kingfish tricks Andy into believing he’s committed treason by accepting money from a spy.
• The plot thickens with references to historical traitors, fabricated FBI tactics, and further spy spoofs.

Notable Quotes:

Kingfish: “The FBI stops at nothing.”
[17:20]

Andy: “This gal, Lucy Benson, sound like a dangerous woman. I'm going out with her again. And if she makes one false move, I'm gonna turn her into the police.”
[18:50 – 19:02]

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7. The Arrest and Trouble Ensue

[20:25] – [21:26]

• Andy, convinced of Lucy’s suspicious activity, has her arrested while she’s innocently taking pictures of a battleship.
• Lucy calls, furious: “I've just been released from jail and I'm gonna sue you both for $5,000 for false arrest.”
  [21:03]

Notable Quotes:

Lucy: “I’ve never been so mortified my whole life. I've just been released from jail and I'm gonna sue you both for $5,000 for false arrest.”
[21:06]

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8. The Courtroom Farce

[23:15] – [27:13]

• In true Amos & Andy fashion, the conflict goes to court.
• Lucy testifies about being scammed and arrested; Kingfish and Andy's lawyer bumbles through a defense.
• The ‘fireworks’ promised by the defense lawyer fall flat after a botched attempt to accuse Lucy of a crime decades before she was born.
• The court suggests settling out of court to resolve the mess.

Notable Quotes:

Stonewall (lawyer): “Is it not true that under the alias of Maggie Bronson, you served an eight-year prison stretch in the Ohio State Penitentiary for armed robbery in 1926?”
Lucy: “I wasn't born till 1928.”
[24:45 – 25:07]

Kingfish: “Couldn't we settle this here thing out of court?”
[27:13 – 27:19]

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9. Resolution and Final Gags

[27:21] – [28:34]

• Kingfish and Andy agree to lie low to avoid legal trouble, spreading the rumor that Kingfish fled to South America.
• In the final twist, Sapphire returns home and introduces her long-lost cousin—Lucy Benson—to Kingfish, much to his horror.

Notable Quotes:

Sapphire: “This is my husband, George Stevens. This is Lucy Benson.”
Kingfish: (panicked) “Oh, no, let him.”
[28:28 – 28:34]

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10. Sponsor Spots and Announcements

• Several segments pitch “Rinso with Solium,” claiming it gets clothes "whiter than new," and promote a Mercury car contest. These are integral to the show's format, anchoring it in its radio era.

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Memorable Moments & Quotes with Timestamps

• Walking Tour Sold as ‘Intimate’:

  • Lucy: “Will the bus be very crowded?”
  • Kingfish: “Bus? ...You hoof it.”
  • [04:19 – 04:28]

• FBI Oath:

  • Kingfish: "I, Andrew H. Brown, swears to keep my big mouth shut and to walk my feet off from a country..."
  • [08:58 – 09:11]

• Shorty’s ‘Growing’ Story:

  • Shorty: “After working on it for a year, I increased my height by two full inches.”
  • [15:50]

• Courtroom Blunder:

  • Lawyer: “Is it not true that under the alias of Maggie Bronson, you served the eight year prison stretch in the Ohio State Penitentiary for armed robbery in 1926?”
  • Lucy: “I wasn't born till 1928."
  • [24:45 – 25:07]

• Family Reunion Disaster:

  • Sapphire: “This is my husband, George Stevens. This is Lucy Benson.”
  • Kingfish: “Oh, no, let him.”
  • [28:28 – 28:34]

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Conclusion

This episode encapsulates the charm and style of Golden Age radio comedy, blending farce, mistaken identity, and musical entertainment. Through clever deception, slapstick wit, and a parade of colorful characters, "Amos & Andy" delivers a tightly woven comedic story around the Thanksgiving season. Even for new listeners, the episode serves as a window into the humor and rhythms of 1940s radio, with its lively sponsor spots and satirical take on American life.

Recommended for:
Fans of vintage radio, classic comedy, and those interested in American humor and cultural history of the era.

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Transcript

[A]

Dude, this new bacon, egg and chicken biscuit from AM PM Total winner. Winner, chicken breakfast.

[B]

Chicken breakfast? Come on. I think you mean chicken dinner, bro.

[A]

Nah, brother. Crispy bacon, fluffy eggs, juicy chicken and a buttery biscuit. That's the perfect breakfast.

[C]

All right, let me try.

[D]

Mmm. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, totally. Winner, winner, chicken breakfast. I'm gonna have to keep this right here.

[A]

Make sure every breakfast is a winner with the delicious new bacon, egg and chicken biscuit from AM PM AM P. M. Too much good stuff.

[B]

Say, Amos, this seems like Sunday.

[C]

Yeah, well, it is Sunday. You see, Andy, we is on the radio now every Sunday on CBS for Renzo.

[E]

That's right. Rinso, the new Rinso with Solium brings you the Amos and Andy Show. Yes, sir. Rinso, the soap that contains solium, the sunlight ingredient, brings you a full half hour of entertainment with Lou Lubin, Eddie Green, Ernest Christine Wade, the Jubilers, Jeff Alexander's orchestra and chorus and radio's all time favorites, Amos and Andy. And now, Lieber Brothers Company, the makers of Rinso invite you to sit back, relax and enjoy the Amos and Andy Show. Well, the Kingfish's wife, Sapphire, has decided to visit her relatives in Chicago. The time for her departure has arrived and we find Sapphire and the Kingfish sitting in the waiting room at the railroad station.

[F]

George, you know I'm gonna be away for 10 days and that's longer than I figured on. What about money?

[C]

Money? Well, just send me a few bucks whenever you can, honey. You know, I was thinking, this ought to be a nice trip for you, honey.

[F]

You know, George, this is going to be a long trip by myself on this train.

[C]

Oh, by the way, here's a package.

[F]

Oh, this is so thoughtful of you. Is it something for me to do on the train?

[C]

No, it's something for you to do in Chicago. It's my laundry.

[F]

You take that back home and wash it yourself.

[C]

All right, all right, I'll wash it. You don't have to pop me on the head with it.

[F]

Say, George, look at the time. We better get on down to the platform.

[C]

Yeah, you're right. We better get down to.

[F]

And George, you ain't going to make me carry my suitcase to the train like you done last time, is you?

[C]

No, honey, not only ain't you going to carry it, but I ain't going to carry it neither. This time we is going to do the thing right. Oh, Red cap. Hey, Red cap. Yes, sir? Can my wife borrow your hand truck, please? Well, it's five o'. Clock. I might as well hang around the large hall here till supper. I guess maybe some crazy brother will come in here and pay his dues. Come in.

[F]

Pardon me, but I'm lost. Could you tell me where I could find the New York tourist sightseeing service?

[C]

New York tourist sightseeing service? Yes, ma'. Am. You go down to the next corner and you turn to your right. Are you gonna take this sightseeing tour?

[F]

Yes. I've never been to New York before and I'd like to see the sight.

[C]

Yeah, well, that's one block down. Turn to your right and then on the left hand side. What is it charging for the tour?

[F]

$10 a day.

[C]

Yeah, that's one block down that way and then one block there. You just gonna sightsee for one day, huh?

[F]

Oh, no, I'm gonna sightsee every day for a week.

[C]

Yeah, well, you go down. Why don't you take our sightseeing services?

[F]

Oh, is this office of the sightseeing company too?

[C]

Oh, yeah. We is the largest sightseeing company in the world.

[F]

Well, that's wonderful. I'll take your tour. What do you charge?

[C]

Same as the other one, $10 a day. It's a standard racket all over.

[F]

Yeah, well, could you book me for the tour? My name is Lucy Benson and I'm staying at the Lenox Arms hotel.

[C]

All right. Be here tomorrow morning at 9 o'.

[G]

Clock.

[F]

Well, will the bus be very crowded?

[C]

Bus? You were thinking of the old fashioned sightseeing tour, madam. We was gonna take you on what we call the intimate tour.

[F]

Well, how do we go from place to place?

[C]

How do we go? Ha, ha, ha. You hoof it.

[F]

Oh, a walking tour. Well, that might be an idea. That.

[C]

All right. See you at 9 o' clock tomorrow morning. Goodbye, Ms. Benson. Well, $10.

[G]

Deal.

[C]

Seven deals, that's $70. That ain't bad. Think I'll drop by the drugstore and get a couple of pounds of foot powder and some mustard. Well, come in, Henry.

[G]

Say, Kingfish, who was the charming gazelle that just flitted by?

[C]

That was Ms. Benson, Henry. You see, I done opened up a sightseeing service and I gonna take her on a walking tour in New York City. I pity my poor feets.

[G]

Yes, well, why don't you get Andy to take her on the walking tour? He might enjoy it. You know, he's always receptive to feminine punkritude.

[C]

Well, Bunker Tudor's good for him all right. I don't want Andy to get the money, though, you see. Hey, wait a minute, though. If there was only Some way that I could get Andy to take her around town without him finding out. It was a sightseeing tour.

[G]

Yes, but that's gonna be hard, Kingfish. You know, Andy would have to do more walking than the policeman.

[C]

Say, wait a minute, Henry. I think I got something there. All the poor and Andy to the FBI and tell him the gal is a spy or something and it's his duty to take her around. I'll get him to work the first week for nothing as his basic training.

[G]

Yes, Well, I don't think you'll have much trouble getting Annie to be around with that girl.

[C]

Yes. That Ms. Benson is some number, ain't she?

[G]

Oh, yes. You know, whenever I brush shoulders with a gal of that type, I immediately compare her with my wife.

[C]

Yes, me too, Henry.

[G]

But you know, Kingfish, we're not so bad off.

[C]

No, no.

[G]

While Ms. Benson may have charm, beauty, grace and loveliness, our wives are stable. They got common sense. They got. Say, Kingfish, I believe we're getting a short end of this. Yeah.

[C]

Well, here come Andy now. I better get on the telephone.

[B]

Well, hello there, Kingfish.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

Say, what is that sign on your door? Secret FBI headquarters Fires Keep out.

[C]

Just a minute, Andy. I on a direct wire here with headquarters down in Washington, D.C. i'm talking to Code. Hello, Evil Fox. This is X9 Wilco. Roger, over. Geronimo. And give that to the head man down Washington, will you? Well, I'll tell you his name in code. J. Edgar Vacuum cleaner. What's that? Well, thanks a lot. Two dots and a dash to you, too. Hold on.

[B]

Hey, Kingfisher, how'd you ever get a job with the FBI?

[C]

Well, I'll tell you. And this morning I went down to the unemployment office. And while I was down there, job come up with the FBI. Naturally, I got it cause of seniority.

[B]

What you mean, seniority?

[C]

Well, I ain't work longer than anybody else in the place.

[B]

Well, is you with the FBI now?

[C]

As I would've. I was working on one of the biggest cases they got.

[B]

What kind of case?

[G]

Keep it.

[C]

Well, there's supposed to be a secret, Andy, but I know you will keep it quiet. There's a girl staying at the Lenox Arms Hotel by the name of Lucy Benson. And we of the FBI think she is a European spy.

[G]

No fooling?

[B]

What made you think so?

[C]

Well, the first thing that happened that roused up our suspicion was a little thing that happened at the hotel that might have passed without nobody noticing it. Yeah?

[B]

What was that?

[C]

She come down into the lobby with A pick and shovel and asked the desk clerk if he could direct it to the nearest uranium mine.

[B]

Well, the tell me this. Why don't the FBI put her under arrest?

[C]

Well, we can't do it till we get some evidence on her. Last week we was trailing her and she went through a secret atom bomb factory. But we couldn't do nothing but it because she paid the regular 25 cent sightseeing fare, you see.

[B]

Well, what is she gonna do about trapping her?

[C]

Well now she is making believe that she is a tourist while she is subversing the country. So what we gonna do is to disguise a secret agent as a sightseeing guide and take around and kind of keep tabs on her, see? Say, Andy, I just thought here. How would you like to join up with FBI and handle the job? Ain't interested Kingfisher, or you'll be doing the FBI a great service.

[B]

Sorry, too dangerous.

[C]

The spy's a beautiful figure and she's a good looking gal.

[B]

Shake hands with your new FBI man.

[C]

Now. Put it there, Andy. Shake hands. Glad to have you with us. Now the first thing I gotta do now is to give you the FBI oath.

[E]

Okay?

[D]

Okay.

[C]

All right. And to take the pledge. Here we go.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

I, Andrew H. Brown, swears to keep my big mouth shut and to walk my feet off from a country. I also swear not to tell anybody that I the FBI agent and to go on looking stupid so nobody will suspect that I suspect him.

[E]

I do.

[C]

All right. Report here tomorrow morning, 9 o'.

[G]

Clock.

[C]

And then FBI man Brown, you can now start walking spy Lucy Benson around town.

[B]

What do you mean walk? Don't I get automobile?

[C]

No ender, you was assigned to the FBI foreign Spy division Dismounted. And Andy, as long as you is on a special mission, we better synchronize our watches.

[B]

Yeah, well, tell you the truth, Kingfish, my watch is down at Honest Joe's pawn shop.

[C]

Happen to think mine's down there too. Let's call up Joe and have him to synchronize him.

[B]

Well, I hope this works out and we catch her.

[C]

Annie, when we close in on her it's going to be like that fella that had the walls fall on him at one time.

[G]

What fella?

[C]

And let me tell you about old.

[B]

Joshua.

[G]

Who made the walls of Jericho.

[C]

A come.

[G]

Judge spit the bat around Jericho around Jericho Around Jericho Judge spit the battle around Jericho and the walls come tumbling down that morning Judge a bit about Jericho Around Jericho, around Jericho Judge a bit around Jericho and the boss come tumbling down. Good morning, Sister Mary. Well, how do you do, brother John? Well, I won't stop and talk with you and tell you how I come along.

[C]

Well, I know you don't.

[G]

I heard about Joshua. He was the son of nun. He'd never stop his work in June until his work was done that morning. Joshua. The battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho Joshua fit the battle of Jericho when the walls come tumbling down. Yes, you may talk about your king of Gideon. You may brag about your men of Saul Taint none like Joshua at the battle of Jericho. Now they told the good Lord that Joshua's spear was well nigh 12ft and for his hip was a double edged sword and his mouth was a gospel horn. But bold and brave he stood salvation in his arms. Go blow to my ram horns Joshua cried Keys the devil can't do you no harm. That morning Joshua bit the battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho Joshua fit the battle of Jericho and the walls come a tumbling down. Then up through the walls of Jericho they marched with spear in her hand gold blows and my ram horns Joshua keys to b in my hand. Then the ramble lamb horns begin to blow. The trumpets begin to sound. Oh, Joshua cried glory. And the walls come tumbling down and mo Then the ramble la sheep horns begin to blow and the trumpets begin to sound. Oh, Joshua shouted Glory. And the walls come a tumbling down. That morning judge spit the battle around Jericho Around Jericho around Jericho giants spread the battle around Jericho and the walls come a tumbling.

[D]

This is John Lake. Now I'm going to talk about Rinso New Renso with solium. And all I want to do is tell you a simple fact. New Rinsel with Solium gets white clothes whiter than new and washable colors brighter than brand new. That's right. Not just whiter, but whiter than new and washable colors not just brighter, but brighter than brand new. Now I think you'd better try new Rinseau and see it happen yourself. The secret is Solium, Rinso's new amazing scientific sunlight ingredient. And new Rinsel is so wonderful. It's such an entirely new idea in washing clothes. It will even do this. Clothes that are dried indoors wash that's dried in the cellar or the attic will turn out really brighter. Rinsel with Solium puts sunshine in your wash. Rinso is safe for clothes and so kind to hands. Next wash day, better try new Rinso yourself. Remember, only new Rinso contains solium.

[C]

Well, shorty the barber, what is you doing in your shop with the windows wide open? Your coat off on a cold day like this.

[H]

Oh, this is great.

[D]

I eat.

[H]

It'll make the red cobbles your body bigger. A healthy man like me is gonna have fresh air. I'm so healthy that nothing bothered me. I would get you got two Aspen tablets.

[C]

Hey, Shorty, look here. As you see Andy today.

[H]

Andy was in here a little while ago, Pentreation. He told me about this beautiful gal he was taking around town sightseeing. Andy says he's working with the FBI.

[C]

Yeah, he's a secret agent. And keep this under your head, Shorty. The girl is a spy.

[H]

Spy, huh? You know, that reminds me. I was a police detective once myself. My very first case involved was a suspicious woman too. We had to get her. So the chief said to me, he sent me up to her apartment. He said, shorty, bring her here. I say, okay, Chief. I had handcuffs, I had two pistols. I even had a straitjacket. So I went right up to her apartment, I knocked on the door and you know, King preached the tears. The thing didn't work out.

[C]

Why Shorty, she wouldn't let me in. Look at Shorty. Did Andy tell you anything else when he was here?

[H]

No, just that he was taking this gal around sightseeing and that she'd give him $10 as a fee.

[C]

Say, wait a minute. You say that she give him $10? Oh, me, she giving the money to him instead of me. I gotta think of some way to do about that in some way to straighten that out fast.

[H]

You know, Ken Fish, I really envy Andy going around with a beautiful girl like that. I went around with a beautiful gal once too. But she said I was too short for her. Imagine that.

[C]

She said you was too short for her.

[H]

That's right. And I made up my mind right then and there. I made up my mind right then and there that I would grow taller like other fellow.

[C]

You were saying you going to grow taller, huh?

[H]

And sure enough, after working on it for a year, I increased my height by two full inches.

[C]

Well, how'd you do it, Shorty?

[H]

Oh, very simple. I took, I took different kinds of vitamin I, I, I went to a gym and navy. I, I eat special food. I got a you elevated shoe.

[C]

Well, if I can just convince Andy that he has done betrayed the FBI by taking $10 from Ms. Benson, maybe I can get it back. Oh, here comes Andy now.

[B]

Hello there, Kingfish. Hey, what you reading there, Andy?

[C]

Glad you're here. I was just looking over a bulletin I received in code from Washington listing the unfaithful employees of the Government. It's called the Traitors of the Month.

[B]

Well, who's on the list this month?

[C]

Well, I just uncoordinated. Here. Now, they say here the following is a list of traitors wanted by the government. Axis Sally, Tokyo Rose Lord, Ha Ha and Andy Brown. What is this your.

[B]

Wait a minute, sir. Wait a minute. You mean my name is on the list of traitors?

[C]

Yeah, there it is, right there. Plain as the nose on your face. Right in them dots and dashes. There it is, right there.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, Kingfish, why would they have my name on the list of traitors?

[C]

Well, I don't know, Andy. Has you done anything against the United States government in any way? Like accepting money from a girl spy or anything like that?

[B]

Well, I just happened to think this afternoon Lucy Benson gave me $10 for today's tour while we were sitting on a bench in Central park feeding the pigeons. But how could the FBI find out about that so quick?

[C]

Them with carrier pigeons, Andy, you know the FBI stops at nothing.

[B]

Yeah, that FBI is smart, all right, ain't they?

[C]

Yes, you're right, Andy. Look at the way they caught Benedict Arnold.

[B]

How'd they do that?

[C]

Well, he went into the theater one night and the head usher was a G man. He happened to hear Benedict Arnold hissing at one of the newsreel shots of the American Revolution. And he turned him in. Right in. Yeah.

[B]

Well, what'd they do to Benedict?

[C]

Well, they didn't waste no time with traitors, you know. They strung him right up in the lobby of the theater, right next to the popcorn machine. He kicked so much, he spouted butter all over the lobby. I'm milk around there.

[B]

Well, listen, Kingfish, I can't imagine the FBI looking for a gal as nice as Lucy Benson.

[C]

Well, now, that's just the imprint that she gives Annie.

[G]

Take a tip.

[C]

Don't get too friendly with her. Another one of our agents made a big mistake of kissing her. Two minutes later, he was dead.

[B]

What'd she do, Kingfish, shoot him?

[C]

No. Narrowest thing we could figure out, she had a hypodermic needle and a pivot tooth. Yes, Andy, it was like a snake bite with one fang.

[B]

Tell me this, Kingfish, who is she spying for?

[C]

Spying for? For foreign countries. Andy, did you know that there are certain countries on the European continent that ain't worried about the United States army, the United States Navy, the Air Force. What they is after is the American underground.

[B]

Underground?

[C]

Yeah, Fort Knox.

[B]

You know, Kingfish, this gal, Lucy Benson, sound like a dangerous woman. I'm going out with her again. And if she makes one false move, I'm gonna turn her into the police.

[C]

Well, now, that's the spirit, Andy. Just give me the $10 now, though, and I'll return it to headquarters in Washington.

[B]

Yeah, and Kingfish, please be sure and explain to Mr. Hoover that I ain't no traitor to our country, will you?

[C]

Yes, and if I can get a hold of that pigeon in Central Park, I'll straighten him out too. Andy.

[B]

Well, hi, Amos. Hi.

[E]

Come in.

[C]

Hi there, fellas. Is you leaving Kingsley's? Oh, yeah, Just going out. See you later. So long, fellas.

[B]

So long.

[C]

So long, Kingsley. Well, Andy, IC'd you for a couple of days. What's new with you, Amos?

[B]

I got a big job now. I'm working as a traitor for the FBI.

[C]

Well, that's a good job you was doing. What? Say that again, will you?

[B]

Listen, Amos, I gotta take out a girl that was in the American Revolution selling popcorn. She's a snake charmer too.

[C]

You know, it seems like every time I see you lately, you has been saying strange things, ain't it?

[B]

Oh, no. On count of the FBI, I was talking in code.

[C]

Well, you was always talking in code. Or you're talking in circles or you're talking crazy. Now, tell me in plain English once. What is you doing?

[B]

Ain't nobody listening, is it? No, I was flying to Washington to see some pigeon that's got a pivot tooth. Say, Kingfish, I gotta see you right away.

[C]

Yeah. Well, come in. Andy, what you been doing since yesterday?

[B]

Well, Kingfish, you know, I've been watching this gal, Lucy Benson, like a hawk.

[C]

Oh, that's fine, Andy. Yeah, that's fine.

[B]

And Kingfish, I done turned her over to the police this morning.

[C]

Yeah, that's the spirit. I like this. I like you done turned over to the police.

[B]

Yeah, we was down by the water and I caught her taking pictures of a battleship. So I called the police, swore out a warrant and had her throat in jail.

[C]

Well, now, let's everybody calm down around here. Now, you ain't done gone berserk in the head and had nobody arrest and put in jail, is you?

[B]

Look, if that's Mr. Hoover, tell him about it, will you?

[C]

Uh, hello?

[F]

Hello, this is Lucy Benson.

[C]

Oh, yeah, now wait a minute. I can explain the whole thing.

[F]

You are gonna explain nothing. I've never been so mortified my whole life. I've just been released from jail and I'm gonna sue you both for $5,000 for falls arrest.

[H]

Yeah, but listen, I'll see you in Court.

[G]

Goodbye, Andy.

[C]

That was Lucy Benson.

[B]

Ha ha ha. That gal's in plenty of trouble, all right. What's my next case, Kingfish?

[C]

I think it'll come up in court in a couple of days. Let's go over and see Stonewall the lawyer, will you?

[H]

Come on.

[E]

Hurry. There are only five more days to enter Lieber's Great Mercury A Day contest, so get your entries in right away. Prizes in all are $100,000 in new cars and cash. Here are the names of five winners, each of whom won a brand new 1949 Mercury. Mrs. Alvin M. David, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Mrs. John Berkmeyer, Chicago, Illinois. Mrs. V. E Scrivener, Gloucester Courthouse, Virginia. Ms. Francis Nyari, Honolulu, Hawaii. And Mrs. Ann Cameron, Riverside, California.

[C]

Yes.

[E]

Each one of those people want a new Mercury sedan. And you can do it, too. All you have to do is finish this statement in 25 words or less. I like Rinso because That's all. Send your entry with one Rinso box top to Lieber's Mercury A Day contest, box three, New York eight, New York. That's box three, New York eight. Enter as many times as you like. Put the name of your storekeeper on each entry. Only residents of continental United States, Alaska and Hawaii are eligible. Follow the complete rules on the entry blank you can get at your store. You can win a new Mercury four door sedan. So enter Lieber's Great contest every day until it closes next Friday. I'm going to warn you spectators for the last time.

[B]

If there's any more noise in this.

[E]

Courtroom, I shall ask you to leave.

[B]

The plaintiff's counsel may proceed with the questioning. Thank you, Your Honor. Now, Ms. Benson, will you continue with your testimony?

[F]

Well, like I was saying, I was going to look up some distant relatives of mama's, but I lost their name and address. And then I ran into these men who told me they were sightseeing guides. And Besides paying them $70, they had me falsely arrested.

[G]

I think that'll be all, Ms. Benson.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

If Mr. Stonewall, the attorney for the.

[C]

Defense, would care to cross examine Ms.

[B]

Benson, he may do so.

[G]

Yes.

[H]

Dude.

[A]

This new bacon egg and chicken biscuit from a.m. p. M. Total winner. Winner, chicken breakfast.

[B]

Chicken breakfast? Come on. I think you mean chicken dinner, bro.

[A]

Nah, brother. Crispy bacon, fluffy eggs, juicy chicken and a buttery biscuit. That's the perfect breakfast.

[G]

All right, let me try it.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, totally.

[B]

Winner, winner, chicken breakfast. I'm gonna have to keep this right here.

[A]

Make sure every breakfast is a winner with the delicious new bacon egg And Chicken biscuit from AM PM AM P. M. Too much good stuff.

[G]

Be there in a second.

[C]

Get up there now, stonewall and go to work.

[G]

Listen, kingfisher, I'm gonna start some fireworks. Now you watch me go into act.

[H]

I got a question. Yeah, that'll blow this case wide open.

[G]

Here's where the fireworks really start. Will the defense attorney proceed?

[H]

Now, Ms. Benson, is it not true.

[G]

That under the alias of Maggie Bronson.

[H]

You served the eight year prison stretch in the Ohio State Penitentiary for armed robbery in 1926?

[F]

I hardly think so. I wasn't born till 1928.

[H]

Too much for the fireworks, your honor. Now that's all the questioning. Could I recall one of the defendants, Mr. George Stevens?

[G]

Back to the stand you may. Mr. Stevens.

[H]

Come on.

[G]

Take the stand, Bob.

[C]

Yeah, the comments. Don't want what you want to ask me?

[H]

Sit down.

[C]

Yes.

[H]

Now, Mr. Stevens, when this poor innocent.

[G]

Girl first walked into your office you had no intentions of frauding her out of her savings, did you?

[C]

No, sir, I did not.

[H]

Well, just when did you get the idea?

[G]

Jeopardy.

[C]

Your honor, I object to him asking me that question. Yes, it does.

[G]

It does seem to be rather a peculiar question. Why?

[H]

Don't worry about me, judge. I know what I'm doing every minute. After all, I've been defending crooks like this for 20 years.

[C]

Sewing wall. Think of something to say in my favor. Will you relax, bub?

[G]

After all, I'm skipping over your pody's record.

[E]

Hurry this case along, please.

[H]

No.

[G]

All right, no more questions. Get off the stand, bud, while you got a chance.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

Your honor. Your honor is attorney for the plaintiff.

[E]

I would like to ask the other.

[G]

Defendant, Mr. Andrew Brown to take the witness stand for a few more questions. He wants you up there, Andy.

[C]

Look, keep your big mo shut too.

[G]

Have a seat, Mr. Brown.

[B]

Yes, sir.

[G]

Yes, sir. Now, Mr. Brown, suppose you tell the court what possible reason you had for causing Ms. Benson's arrest.

[B]

I had to do it. You see, I was a FBI man.

[G]

Oh, so now you're an FBI man.

[H]

Your Honor, I object.

[G]

On what grounds?

[H]

Well, Mr. Brown, posing as an FBI man is another crime entirely. And I think we ought to first find him guilty on this one.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

This case is taking entirely too much time.

[C]

You want to excuse me for speaking up here, but I just had a thought. Couldn't we settle this here thing out of court?

[E]

Well, now, that might be an idea.

[C]

Yeah. You see what we could do here? Well, Andy, here's my host. Thanks for walking home with me. I go on in you know, Sapphire got in town today.

[B]

Oh, she got back in town, huh?

[C]

Yeah. Glad she didn't get you while that trial was going on yesterday.

[B]

That's up.

[C]

By the way, what did you tell that Lucy Benson about settling out of court?

[B]

Just what you told me. I said that you done skipped out of town on a cattle boat and gone to South America with all our money.

[C]

Yeah, well, I kind of lay low as you get out of town. When is she leaving?

[B]

Well, she can't stay long.

[G]

She's broke.

[B]

She told me she was moving out of the hotel today.

[C]

Yeah, well, if you see her again, Andy, tell her that I still in South America. Well, I'll get on in the house. Thank you a lot, Andy. So long, old boy.

[B]

Remember me to your wife.

[C]

Sure. Dodio. Do do do do do do do.

[F]

Is that you, George?

[C]

Hello there, honey. Well, welcome back.

[F]

Hello, George.

[C]

Well, did you enjoy visiting all of your relatives?

[F]

Oh, yes, and we're gonna have a guest now.

[C]

Yeah? Who's coming?

[F]

A cousin of mine that I ain't seen in 20 years. Come on in the parlor.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

Now, this is my husband, George Stevens. This is Lucy Benson.

[C]

Oh, no, let him.

[F]

Oh.

[B]

Amos, do you know what our announcer, Mr. Lake says about Renso with Solium?

[C]

Yes, Andy. Renso with Solium gets clothes whiter and.

[D]

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[C]

Good night, folks.

[B]

See you next Sunday.

[C]

Be sure to be with us next.

[E]

Sunday at the same time when Lever Brothers Company, the makers of new Rinso with Solium, will again present the Amos and Andy Show. Until then, good night to all of.

[C]

You from all of us.

[E]

Amazing, yes, but doctors have proved it. Lifebuoy Health soap in your daily bath gets skin cleaner stops BO as no.

[D]

Other leading soap can get Lifebuoy right away.

[E]

Be sure and listen to the Amos and Andy show at the same time next Sunday. And on the 25th of this month. You can also hear Amos and Andy on the big Thanksgiving Day show over cbs. Stay tuned in for the Adventures of Sam Spade, which follows immediately over many of these stations. This is CBS, where 99 million people gather every week. The Columbia Broadcasting System.