Amos & Andy - Electric Clock Caper

Summary

Podcast Summary: Amos & Andy – Electric Clock Caper

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: March 25, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode from Harold's Old Time Radio features an installment of the iconic "Amos & Andy" series, titled "Electric Clock Caper." Set in the golden age of radio, the story follows Andy receiving a gift from his lodge—an electric clock that refuses to work. The quest to get it fixed spirals into a farcical misadventure, leading Andy and the Kingfish through escalating misunderstandings, ultimately landing them in hot water with the FBI. The episode is a showcase of comedic timing and social satire, poking fun at bureaucracy, misunderstandings, and the everyday challenges of the working class.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Beats

1. A Lodge Celebration and a Troubling Gift

• [00:37] The episode opens at a lodge celebration honoring Andy for 20 years of membership.
• Kingfish [01:17]: Delivers a half-sincere tribute, highlighting Andy's rocky start in life but commending his "progress."
  • "Before Mr. Brown applied for membership with our lodge, the census of opinion was that Andy was a bum."
• Andy receives a brand-new electric clock as a token of appreciation, valued at $8.50.

2. The Clock Won't Work

• [02:19] Andy thanks the lodge and promises a speech, which goes on so long that the rest of the cast jokes about its length the next day.
• The following morning, Andy tries to plug in the new clock at the lodge office.
  • Andy [03:38]: "This sho is a nice clock you boys gave me last night for my 20 years' anniversy."
• Despite following instructions, the clock doesn't run.
  • Andy [04:00]: "A clock that won't run. I wonder what you get if you was only in the lodge 10 years."
• They find a lifetime guarantee in the box and decide to take it to the store for help.

3. From the Store to the War Plant

• [04:56] The store owner, Mr. Wilton, directs them to the Wilton Clock Company manufacturer, now operating as a war plant due to wartime production needs.
  • Mr. Wilton [06:09]: "Yes, but it's been converted into a war production of precision instruments."
• Mistaken for military contractors, Andy, Kingfish, and Lightning are let into the facility but must change into coveralls to proceed.

4. A Series of Misunderstandings

• [13:18] In a mix-up, Andy pockets two screws to fix his own bathroom mirror, believing they're useless, unaware that they're unique, top-secret components for a military invention.
  • Andy [13:19]: "Those two little screws there. Yeah, the looking glass in my bathroom was coming loose."
• Kingfish writes a note to Lightning on the back of a set of secret plans, compounding the misunderstanding.
• Security finds them in the lab with the screws and the "plans," believing they're spies.

5. Confrontation with Authorities

• [15:30] Andy and Kingfish are taken to FBI headquarters for interrogation.
  • Scenes of fingerprinting, mugshots, and lie detector tests serve as both satire and commentary on bureaucracy and paranoia.
  • Andy [16:10]: "We was just trying to check on a lifetime guarantee. Honest we was. We wouldn't do nothing to hurt the United States government."
  • Kingfish [16:19]: "Yeah, so that's right. Look, I got American flag right here in my buttonhole."
• Their confused and comic attempts to explain the situation only raise further suspicion.
• Lie detector humor:
  • Chief Hood [20:56]: "Your true name is Andrew H. Brown, is that right?"
  • Andy: "Yeah. Yes, sir."
  • Chief Hood: "Have you ever used any other name?"
  • Andy: "No, sir."
  • Chief Hood: "Why did you try to steal those plans?"
  • Andy: "I didn't try to steal a mister. Honest, I didn't. Honestly."
  • The machine hums with every attempted fib.

6. Friends Weigh In

• [18:07] Amos, Lighting, and Van Porter are also questioned as character witnesses, standing up for Andy and Kingfish—except for Lightning, who unintentionally incriminates them by repeating Andy’s offhand joke about robbing a war plant.
  • Lightning [19:35]: "When he left the cab, he said he was going in to rob a war plan."

7. Resolution and Social Satire

• [24:10] Lie detector results exonerate Andy and Kingfish; the authorities realize it was all a misunderstanding.
  • Chief Hood [24:10]: "Well boys, I guess you've been telling the truth about the clock. Looks like we were up the wrong street."
• As they're released:
  • Andy [24:47]: "I gets electric clock with a lifetime guarantee. The clock don't work, I try to get it fixed and nearly end up in the electric chair."
• In the punchline twist, Lightning returns with news:
  • Lightning [25:47]: "Well, Ms. Andy, I took the clock over to the electric company and they said, ain't nothing wrong with the clock. It's you. You ain't paid your bill for two months and your electricity been turned off."
  • The clock never worked because Andy hadn’t paid his electricity bill.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Andy’s long-windedness:
  • Kingfish [03:12]: "When I hear Andy get wound up ... sometimes I wonder if this country ain't making a mistake by having freedom of speech."
• On bureaucracy and mistaken identity:
  • Kingfish [06:29]: "The lifetime guarantee don't mean much if they gonna shoot you on the way in."
• On their confusion in the war plant:
  • Andy [11:21]: "Excuse me for protruding, but did you say something about taking off your clothes?"
  • Kingfish [11:36]: "Well, ain't it liable to be a little drafty in there?"
• On their place in American society:
  • Kingfish [17:16]: "I wouldn't do nothing to hurt the government. I. As a patriotic man, I was one of the earliest American settlers in our apartment house."
• The final twist:
  • Lightning [25:54]: "You ain't paid your bill for two months and your electricity been turned off."
  • Andy [24:47]: "The clock don't work, I try to get it fixed and nearly end up in the electric chair."

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Key Timestamps

• 00:37 — Episode opens at the lodge celebration
• 01:17 — Kingfish’s tribute speech and the gift presentation
• 03:38 — Attempting to use the new clock
• 04:42 — Discovery of lifetime guarantee, plan to visit the store
• 06:09 — Arrival at war plant, mistaken for contractors
• 13:18—13:35 — Andy takes the screws; Kingfish writes note on secret plans
• 15:30 — Interrogation at FBI headquarters begins
• 18:07 — Friends vouch for Andy and Kingfish
• 19:35 — Lightning’s accidental confession
• 20:56--23:55 — Lie detector sequence, including comedy around Andy's honesty
• 24:10 — Exoneration and release
• 25:47—25:55 — Lightning reveals unpaid electric bill

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Tone & Style

The episode is marked by classic slapstick and verbal wit, with fast-paced banter, malapropisms, and social satire. The characters stumble through layers of misunderstanding, poking fun at bureaucracy, patriotism, and the peculiarities of modern life.

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Summary

"Electric Clock Caper" is a lighthearted, farcical tale built on misunderstandings and escalating comic predicaments. What starts as a simple attempt to redeem a lifetime guarantee on a clock launches Andy and Kingfish into a whirlwind of authority, suspicion, and red tape. In the end, it all boils down to a very basic oversight: Andy's electricity had been turned off for nonpayment. The episode stands out for its comedic timing, memorable quips, and sly jabs at institutions and the red tape of American life in the 1940s.

For fans of classic radio and comedy of errors, this is an episode not to be missed.

Transcript

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[Amos]

Andy. Andy, wake up. Won't you please open your eyes?

[Andy]

Oh, me. What's going on here?

[Narrator]

It's the Amos and Andy show. Tonight. Our story opens in the auditorium of the Lodge hall where a celebration is in progress in honor of Andy for his long service to the lodge. He's one of the few early members still active right now. The Kingfish is on the platform before the members completing a speech of tribute. Andy is sitting on the stage right in back of him.

[Kingfish]

And so, fellow members, I proud to pay tribute to our brother here on the platform, Mr. Andrew H. Brown, who has done been in our lodge for 20 years. Before Mr. Brown applied for membership with our lodge, the census of opinion was that Andy was a bum. He didn't have no money, he didn't have no business. He never knowed where he was going to sleep from one week to the next. Now, let's look at him now and the progress that he has done made in the last 20 years. Today he is, I would say, well. He is, that is, well, he's a fine, healthy looking man. So, Brother Andrew, on behalf of the membership, we present you as a token of our steam, this brand new genuine electric clock which set us back $8.50.

[Andy]

Thank you, brothers, for this beautiful electric clock. It has done touch me. I don't know what to say, but I feel sure that you brothers would like to know my life's history. Taking it right from where I was born up to today, year by year. I was born in a little town in Georgia. We lived in a sort of a farmhouse.

[Amos]

That was some speech that Andy made last night. I bet he must have talked for two hours.

[Kingfish]

Yes, Amos, I tell you, I stayed till he was 18 years old. Then I left. How long did you stay, Flukey? Well, I stayed till he was 24 and that's about all I could take.

[Amos]

I wonder how long Andy spoke there.

[Kingfish]

Well, I tell you, that boy really get tired away with herself, don't it? Yeah, you're right, Fluke. When I hear Andy get wound up and go into a thing like it done last night. Sometimes I wonder if this country ain't making a mistake by having freedom of speech.

[Amos]

Well, the trouble with Andy is.

[Andy]

Good morning, gentlemans. Good morning.

[Kingfish]

Hello there, brother Andy.

[Amos]

Hi, son.

[Andy]

Flukey, get out the way there a second, will you? I want to plug this clock in there and set up on my desk.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yes, Andy.

[Andy]

This show is a nice clock you boys gave me last night for my 20 years. Anna reversary.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah. Now, Andy, you gotta spin that little wheel in the back of it to get us started. Yeah. Well, don't seem to go. Let's see if you got it plugged in tight here. Yeah, the plug is in. Good.

[Amos]

Yeah, that's funny.

[Andy]

A clock that won't run. I wonder what she gets. If you was only in the lodge 10 years.

[Amos]

But I can't understand. If that's a $8.50 clock, it ought to work.

[Andy]

Well, I got it plugged in and I done turned a starter. What else can you do?

[Kingfish]

Say, fellows, you know, I. As a scientist, I could take it over to my laboratory and smack it a couple of times with a hammer.

[Amos]

Hey, wait a minute. I just found this paper in the box that the clock come in. It's a lifetime guarantee. Look here, listen to this. It say here, this clock guaranteed for life against all defects due to faulty material or workmanship and assigned by the Wilton Clock Company.

[Kingfish]

Come on, Andy, I'll take you over to the store where we bought it and we'll show him this guarantee. He got to give us satisfaction.

[Andy]

Kingfish, I know you bought the clock here, but it was the last one

[Mr. Wilton]

I had in the store.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, but don't you see? The clock don't work.

[Andy]

Yeah, and there's a lifetime guarantee that come with the clock. Listen, boys, that's the manufacturer's guarantee. And it so happened that the Wilton Clock Company is right here in New York. Why don't you take it down after them?

[Kingfish]

You can get some quick action, and that look like the best thing to do. Maybe we can get Lightning to drive us to the Wilton Clark Company and aim us a taxi cab.

[Andy]

Right. Let's go.

[Lightning]

This must be the players that say that Wilton Clark Company up there.

[Andy]

Yeah, this is it. All right.

[Kingfish]

All right. You wait here, Layton. This ain't gonna take long.

[Lightning]

All right, sir. I'll wait here for you.

[Kingfish]

Say, this sure is a big plan. They got you.

[Andy]

Yeah. Must take a lot of equipment to turn out clocks that don't run.

[Kingfish]

Well, Andy, I think that. Halt.

[Lightning]

Halt.

[Kingfish]

That soldier can't be talking to us.

[Lightning]

Halt or I shoot.

[Andy]

That's us. That's us.

[Mr. Hennessy]

What do you want?

[Mr. Wilton]

This is a war plant.

[Andy]

Oh. Oh. Well, ain't this the Wilton Clock Company? Yes, but it's been converted into a

[Mr. Wilton]

war production of precision instruments.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, that's it, huh? Well, you see, Mr. Soldier, the reason we done come down here is that I got a Wilton clock that don't work and it's got a lifetime guarantee on it.

[Kingfish]

Come on, Andy, let's get out of here. The lifetime guarantee don't mean much if they're going to shoot you on the way in.

[Andy]

Now let's get. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Kingfish. Wait. The company must stand back at their clocks here. They must still do that, Mister, Ain't there nobody in there that I could get satisfaction from?

[Mr. Hennessy]

Well, Mr. Wilton is still running the plant.

[Andy]

I guess you could see him. Yeah, well, thank you, mister. We'd be right. Would you, Kingfisher? We better tell Lightning we'll be a little longer.

[Kingfish]

Look, and why don't we take the clock back to the Harlem store there and exchange it for something else? I don't like the idea of going into a place where everybody ready to shoot at you.

[Narrator]

Don't let's do that.

[Andy]

Oh, don't be silly.

[Kingfish]

Wait a minute.

[Andy]

Hey, Lightning, we just want to tell you that we're going to be in this place a little longer than we think we was.

[Lightning]

Well, what did you come back for, Ms. Anderson?

[Andy]

Well, to tell you what I just told you.

[Lightning]

Well, that seemed like a waste of time. Wouldn't it have been quicker if you would have went in there in the first place instead of coming back here to tell me that you gonna be longer than you think you was in the first place?

[Kingfish]

Lightning, this place here is a war plant now.

[Lightning]

Yeah, well, if you gotta get a clock fixed, then why does he want to go to a war plant?

[Andy]

We is gonna rob the war plant, Lightning, but don't tell nobody.

[Lightning]

Wouldn't that be dishonest?

[Andy]

Oh, Lightning. Come on, Kingfish. Come on.

[Kingfish]

You know, 10 years ago I would have swore that Lightning couldn't get no dumber. But he done fool me.

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[Andy]

All right, fellas, we go right down this walk here. It's not far.

[Mr. Benson]

Follow me.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

Thank you, sir. Thank.

[Mr. Wilton]

Ralph, I think you've done a wonderful job on this altitude device.

[Mr. Hennessy]

Well, thank you, Mr. Wilton.

[Mr. Wilton]

I think if it's successful, it'll be the most important development of the year in combat aviation. The beauty of it is that it can be used on those big B17 Flying Fortresses or on the P38 Lightnings.

[Mr. Hennessy]

I think they're going to try it out on the P38 lightnings first. The principle's very revolutionary, too. The secret of the whole instrument, the actual heart of it, is these two little screws right here. They're made out of that new, highly sensitive metal that we developed right here in the lab.

[Mr. Wilton]

Well, I don't have to caution you about guarding all this very carefully, Ralph.

[Mr. Hennessy]

I should say not, Mr. Wilton. Now, these are the only two metal screws of this type in existence, and this is the only set of plans. So believe me, I'm taking no chances. Oh, did you say that altimeter clock is on the way?

[Mr. Wilton]

Yes, it should be here any minute.

[Mr. Hennessy]

Oh, good, then I can finish this thing up.

[Mr. Wilton]

I better check with Benson out front on that.

[Mr. Benson]

Benson speaking.

[Narrator]

Benson.

[Mr. Wilton]

Listen, Mr. Wilton, I'm expecting a couple of men with a new type altimeter clock for those new pursuit planes. Now, you send them back to my office as soon as they arrive.

[Narrator]

Yes, sir.

[Mr. Wilton]

Oh, by the way, these men are supposed to put some finishing touches on this altimeter clock when they get here.

[Mr. Benson]

Oh, then I suppose you want them to put on coveralls as usual.

[Mr. Wilton]

Certainly.

[Kingfish]

You know our rules.

[Mr. Wilton]

Yes, Mr. Wilton.

[Amos]

Goodbye.

[Mr. Wilton]

Ralph, Come down to my office for a minute. I'll show you our new assignment.

[Mr. Benson]

Right over to this window, fellas.

[Mr. Wilton]

Oh, Mr. Benson?

[Mr. Benson]

Yes? These two men want to see somebody.

[Narrator]

Will you take care of them?

[Kingfish]

Okay.

[Andy]

Sentry.

[Mr. Benson]

What Was it you men wanted?

[Andy]

We want to see Mr. Wilton. We got a clock here.

[Mr. Benson]

Oh, yes, yes, I know all about it.

[Kingfish]

I.

[Andy]

You do?

[Kingfish]

You sure do get around, don't it?

[Mr. Benson]

Anna, come in through this gate here, please.

[Andy]

Yeah, I guess the man of the store must have phoned down and told him about it.

[Mr. Benson]

All right, you can take off your clothes right here.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, I. Excuse me for protruding, but did you say something about taking off your clothes?

[Mr. Benson]

That's right. Can't go in the plant with those clothes on.

[Kingfish]

Well, ain't it liable to be a little drafty in there?

[Andy]

Yeah, this is just a clock factory in it. You ain't running no Turkish bath or nothing on the side, is you?

[Mr. Benson]

Now, look, I haven't got time to argue with you. Before you can go back in that plant, you've got to put on coveralls.

[Kingfish]

Coveralls? Look, Mercer, we don't want to seem pigheaded about this thing, but the only reason we is here.

[Mr. Benson]

I know why you're here, and you've got to put on those coveralls.

[Kingfish]

Uh, just to see Mr. Wilton, huh?

[Mr. Benson]

That's right.

[Andy]

You know, Kingfish, the more I hears about this fellow Wilton, the more I sees why the clock won't run.

[Kingfish]

Say, Mussa, when we get all fixed up here, what does we do and where does we go to find Mr. Wilton?

[Mr. Benson]

You go straight down to the end of the passageway, turn left and it's the first door.

[Kingfish]

Uh, thank you.

[Chief Hood]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Well, we might as well get started here. Get off my coat. You know something, Kingfish? Taking advantage of a lifetime guarantee ain't as easy as a lot of people think it is.

[Kingfish]

Well, this is the end of the passageway. Did he say turn right or left, ain't it?

[Andy]

Oh, seemed to me he say left. No, no, right.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, that's it. Right. Yeah, we turn down here, then he say the first door. Well, this is it right here.

[Andy]

Ain't nobody here.

[Kingfish]

Well, we just gotta wait around, Ms. Wilton. Most likely be back in a second.

[Andy]

Yeah. This don't look like much of an office. Look more like a work room. Hey, say, I could use them things right there.

[Kingfish]

Oh, what's that, Andy?

[Andy]

Those two little screws there. Yeah, the looking glass in my bathroom was coming loose.

[Kingfish]

Go ahead and take them if you can use them. They don't want them.

[Andy]

Yeah, they ain't got no use for them. I think this size here is 10 for a nickel in the dime store.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, slip em in your pocket there. They must have millions of them. See, I was just thinking we liable to be in here a little while yet before we changes our clothes and gets out of here. Maybe we better send Lightning a note and tell him what we're doing so

[Andy]

he won't get jumpy out there. Yeah, that's right. Let's write him a note and we can get somebody to take it out to him. Yeah.

[Kingfish]

Here's a pencil here. Guess I use this piece of paper here.

[Andy]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Ain't there something on that paper, Kingfish?

[Kingfish]

Oh, just a bunch of lines. Look like some guy been doodling with a pencil instead of doing his work. One side is blue and, oh, it's white on the back. I'll write on the back of it.

[Andy]

Yeah, I'll say, here, Lightning. What are you men doing here?

[Mr. Wilton]

You know these men, Ralph.

[Mr. Hennessy]

I know, but I know they have no business in this laboratory.

[Kingfish]

Well, you see, mister, what are you

[Mr. Wilton]

doing with those planes?

[Kingfish]

Guard.

[Mr. Benson]

God.

[Mr. Hennessy]

The screws are missing too.

[Andy]

Well, listen, mister, the only reason we come down here is this.

[Chief Hood]

You call me Mr. Wilton.

[Mr. Wilton]

Yes. I think we have a couple of dangerous men here. Watch them. I want to go through their pockets.

[Kingfish]

Oh, look, Mother, we ain't doing nothing. The reason we come down here.

[Mr. Wilton]

Here are the screws. They were in his pocket.

[Mr. Hennessy]

It's lucky we got back in time. We'd been a minute later, both the plans and the screws would have been gone.

[Mr. Wilton]

And look what they've got written on the back of these plans, Lightning.

[Mr. Benson]

Yeah.

[Mr. Wilton]

They even knew these plans were for that plane.

[Kingfish]

Oh, wait a minute, Mother. That ain't a plane, that's a man. Yeah.

[Andy]

Listen, we was just.

[Mr. Wilton]

I don't know what you two are up to, but this is certainly a matter for the FBI.

[Kingfish]

Guard.

[Narrator]

Yes, sir.

[Mr. Wilton]

Take these two men to FBI headquarters. And I hope they get what they deserve.

[Narrator]

Well, they've got Andy and the Kingfish down at FBI headquarters. The FBI agents are giving them a complete examination and taking them through a routine checkup before bringing them in for questioning.

[Mr. Hennessy]

I think that's everything on that Harris. Brown's weight, 205. Height five feet eleven and a half. Right, Stevens, 191.

[Mr. Benson]

Six foot.

[Andy]

All right, boys, you can put your shirts on.

[Kingfish]

You know, and I get mighty sick of putting my clothes on and off here.

[Andy]

Yeah, we should have come out in our bathrobes today.

[Mr. Hennessy]

All right, Harris, take them over to Fingerprinting. All right, give me a hand.

[Andy]

Just relax.

[Mr. Hennessy]

I'll do it.

[Andy]

Look, Missa, you don't have to take no fingerprints. We as innocent. We was just trying to check on a lifetime guarantee. Honest we was. We wouldn't do nothing to hurt the United States government.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, so that's right. Look, I got American flag right here in my buttonhole.

[Andy]

Yeah, mine is in my other suit.

[Mr. Hennessy]

All right, Harris, turn them around. Now, I want to get a profile.

[Andy]

Oh, miss, you ain't got to take our pictures.

[Kingfish]

Nobody believes us, but. But we ain't done nothing wrong.

[Andy]

I pleading with you, mister. Won't you please believe that I ain't. Wait a minute.

[Chief Hood]

What's the matter?

[Andy]

My left profile on the side there is much better.

[Chief Hood]

Well, Harris, what did you find?

[Andy]

Nothing, Chief.

[Narrator]

Their records are as clean.

[Mr. Wilton]

Clean as a whistle.

[Chief Hood]

Well, you know, there's always a first time. This is the complete file. Fingerprints, pictures and everything, huh?

[Mr. Hennessy]

That's right.

[Chief Hood]

All right, bring them in.

[Andy]

Yes, sir.

[Kingfish]

How many of you men.

[Andy]

Yes, yes, we coming. We coming. Sit down, miss. We've been trying to tell all your assistants here that they is making a mistake.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Just like I say, mister, I wouldn't do nothing to hurt the government. I. As a patriotic man, I was one of the earliest American settlers in our apartment house. I wouldn't love it.

[Andy]

All right, but look.

[Chief Hood]

Try to remember the joy.

[Andy]

Hello.

[Mr. Benson]

Hello, Chief. We picked up those three fellows from Harlem. You know, friends of the men you've got inside there.

[Andy]

Oh, yes.

[Chief Hood]

I want to question them. I'll be right out.

[Andy]

Mister, you don't really think that we meant to steal that stuff in the workroom there, do you?

[Chief Hood]

Well, frankly, boys, I don't. But we've got to make these routine investigations to make sure. Pardon me a moment.

[Andy]

Yeah. Well, that's a relief. We'll wait right here.

[Chief Hood]

How do you do, men? My name is Hood. I'm in charge here. Hennessy. Did you get their names?

[Andy]

Yes.

[Mr. Benson]

That's Amos Jones, that's Henry Van Porter. This fellow they call Lightning man we thought was a plane.

[Chief Hood]

And you're friends of Brown and Stevens, is that right?

[Kingfish]

Yes.

[Amos]

To tell you the truth, they is our best friends, mister.

[Andy]

Yes, we know them for many years. And if there's any information you want, we would be only too happy to vulge it.

[Chief Hood]

I see. Well, what about you? You're the fellow that drove them down to the plant, aren't you?

[Lightning]

Yes, I the fellow that drove them down to the plant in the taxicab while I was waiting for them. They never did come out. And I waited for two hours for them.

[Amos]

And then I whizzed on home.

[Chief Hood]

I see. Well, tell me, what do you know about these men? As Far as their reputations go.

[Amos]

Well, mister, I tell you the truth. I know they're liable to get into a little scrape now and then, like anybody liable to do. But I. I can tell you this. That they would never do anything against the federal government. I know it's that.

[Andy]

Why, certainly not. From my own personal contact with them, I know that they has always felt that crime was in bad taste.

[Amos]

I don't know what they accused of, mister, but I. Sure it must be some mistake around here.

[Chief Hood]

In other words, you men all feel positive that Stevens and Brown would do nothing against the law?

[Amos]

Yes, sir, I would swear to them, yes.

[Lightning]

Except for one thing. But I guess I better not say nothing about that, though.

[Andy]

What is it?

[Chief Hood]

Remember, you've got to tell the truth here.

[Lightning]

Well, I wouldn't want. I wouldn't like for you to Repeat this because Mrs. Brown told me not to say nothing about it. But when he left the cab, he said he was going in to rob a war plan.

[Chief Hood]

Oh, now we've got something to go on.

[Andy]

But, mister, you said a while ago you figured we was innocent.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Musta believe us. Please believe us. We wasn't gonna steal nothing.

[Chief Hood]

Have you got that lie detector all attached? Tennessee.

[Mr. Benson]

Yes, sir?

[Andy]

Take this thing off me, will you, please, mister? Take it off. I'll tell you the truth. I'll tell you the truth, Brown.

[Chief Hood]

I'm gonna ask you some questions. And if you don't tell the truth, this lie detector will show just when you're lying.

[Kingfish]

Wait a minute, mister. That ain't fair. This lie detector don't know nothing about the keys.

[Chief Hood]

This machine records your emotional reactions. And no matter how hard you try to conceal your feelings, you can't fool it. This machine transposes your emotional vibrations into sound. I'll turn it on now. In other words, when you lie, you'll hear the hum rise. All right, here's the first question. Your true name is Andrew H. Brown, is that right?

[Andy]

Yeah. Yes, sir.

[Chief Hood]

Have you ever used any other name?

[Andy]

No, sir.

[Chief Hood]

Why did you try to steal those plans?

[Andy]

I didn't try to steal a mister. Honest, I didn't. Honestly.

[Kingfish]

Well, I didn't hear no rising hum, Mr.

[Andy]

Post not. I never told a lie in my life.

[Kingfish]

Oh, you.

[Chief Hood]

You haven't, huh, mister?

[Kingfish]

You must have a short circuit in there someplace.

[Chief Hood]

Mr. Brown, I'm interested in your source of income. Just what is it that you do to earn a living?

[Andy]

Well, I. I as in partners with the Kingfish here.

[Chief Hood]

And what does he do for a living?

[Andy]

Well, he's. He. He I would say he just about the same as me.

[Chief Hood]

All right. What do you both do then?

[Andy]

Oh, well, well, we works hard all the time, if that's what you mean.

[Kingfish]

Well.

[Andy]

Well, I mean by that pretty hard.

[Kingfish]

Milsa is that machine incinerating that my

[Chief Hood]

friend is lying, doing more than insinuating.

[Kingfish]

And pull yourself together there, son.

[Chief Hood]

Brown. Brown, do you still maintain you just went inside that factory to get a clock fixed?

[Andy]

Yes, sir.

[Chief Hood]

And you expect me to believe that?

[Andy]

Oh, mister, I just hope that someday your clock goes bad and you got a lifetime guarantee.

[Chief Hood]

But you did go in to rob that war plant, didn't you?

[Andy]

No, sir.

[Chief Hood]

Doesn't seem to be any reaction. Brown, I wonder if you could be an innocent accomplice in this thing.

[Andy]

Yes, sir, I'd be glad to,

[Kingfish]

Yasser. And I'd be glad to be innocent accomplice to remember as his partner.

[Chief Hood]

No, no, no, you don't quite understand what I mean is, is it possible that this so called friend of yours, the Kingfish, is the mastermind and is just using you for a tool?

[Kingfish]

Now wait a minute, Brown.

[Chief Hood]

Have you ever known the Kingfish to do anything dishonest?

[Kingfish]

Oh, hold it, Andy, hold it, hold it.

[Chief Hood]

Now what's the matter?

[Kingfish]

Andy? Before you answer that question, I want you to calm yourself down there. I want, I want you to get your emotions leveled off as smooth as a pool table.

[Chief Hood]

All right, answer the question. Have you ever known the King Fish to do anything dishonest?

[Kingfish]

Well, I didn't hear nothing.

[Andy]

I did. Well, what I was going to say is I know the Kingfish is honest, all right. Well, that is, I think he is. Well, what I mean is he's honest most of the time. That is to say, he honest at least half of the time. Look, look, mister, maybe we better get off this before we blows a fuse here.

[Lightning]

Yes, sir.

[Kingfish]

Mister, I, I going to tell you. That machine there is just naturally suspicious.

[Chief Hood]

Listen to me. Listen to me, young man. Did the Kingfish take you into that plant to steal those plans?

[Andy]

No, sir, absolutely not.

[Chief Hood]

I see. Hennessy, what does the chart show?

[Mr. Benson]

No guilty reaction on any of the key questions, sir.

[Chief Hood]

Well boys, I guess you've been telling the truth about the clock. Looks like we were up the wrong street.

[Kingfish]

You mean that we can go, mister?

[Narrator]

Yes.

[Chief Hood]

I'm sorry about this, but we have to check into these things. I, I guess you were pretty sore at me there for a while, but. Well, I'm not such a bad guy, am I?

[Andy]

Oh no, sir. I think you is a swell fella. I tell You Amos, I'm gonna split this whole thing wide open and let people know what's going on here in this country.

[Amos]

Well, now, take it easy, Andy.

[Andy]

Take it easy nothing. I gets electric clock with a lifetime guarantee. The clock don't work, I try to get it fixed and nearly end up in the electric chair.

[Amos]

Andy, will you please calm down?

[Andy]

Listen, I has done already written a letter to President Roosevelt telling him how his citizens is going to get pushed around.

[Amos]

Oh, now, look, Andy, if President Roosevelt don't handle things like that.

[Andy]

Yeah? Well, somebody in the government ought to do something about it. What is I paying all these taxes for that I would pay if I was paying any.

[Amos]

And what did you write to President Roosevelt?

[Andy]

Well, you see, all this happened because the clock didn't work in the first place. So I writ him that he ought to see that the clock companies make good clocks with good wire in them and good cogwheels and good everything else.

[Amos]

Oh, I don't think you oughta done that, Andy.

[Andy]

Well, why not? Like I say, if that clock would have worked in the office this morning, it would have saved everybody a lot of trouble. I. Oh, wait a minute. Come in, Lightning. What'd they say? Lightning.

[Lightning]

Well, Ms. Andy, I took the clock over to the electric company and they said, ain't nothing wrong with the clock. It's you.

[Andy]

Me?

[Lightning]

Yeah. You ain't paid your bill for two months and your electricity been turned off.

[Narrator]

Make sure that you don't miss the Amos and Andy show next Friday night at the same time when the Kingfish and Andy get into a fancy mix up at a masquerade ball. Our program is broadcast to our armed forces everywhere. This is Harlow Wilcox. And before I say good night, here's one more thing. You know, there's only one reason that we keep asking you to turn in your waste fats. That reason is that the need is urgent. So urgent that it's one of your most important jobs. It doesn't matter how many times they've been used. Those fats will yield crystal clear essential material for ammunition and medicine. Your meat dealer will pay you and give you two red points for every pound of used fat you turn in. Not in a glass container, please. Any tin can will do. Thank you and good night.

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