Amos & Andy - Matrimonial Mishap

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Amos & Andy – "Matrimonial Mishap"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: March 26, 2026
Main Cast/Characters:

• George "Kingfish" Stevens
• Amos
• Andrew "Andy" Hogg Brown
• Juliet Williams
• Sapphire (Kingfish's wife)
• Dr. Barrymore (guest: Lionel Barrymore)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Amos & Andy, titled "Matrimonial Mishap," brings classic radio comedy to life with a humorous tale of matchmaking gone awry. The story centers on Kingfish’s desperate scheme to make some money by acting as a matrimonial agent, targeting his old friend Andy as a potential (and somewhat reluctant) groom for the marriage-seeking Juliet Williams. The plot thickens with misunderstandings, a visit to a psychiatrist, and a failed engagement—all peppered with witty banter and comic timing true to the show’s roots.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Flow

1. Kingfish Starts a Matrimonial Scheme

[00:21–04:25]

• Kingfish is trying to raise money for his own needs, posing as a matrimonial agent when Juliet Williams enters his office seeking a husband.

• Juliet negotiates the "agency" fees, explaining she’ll pay the full sum after a successful marriage.

• Kingfish reassures her, implying finding a suitable bachelor (Andy) is an easy task:

  "We always lands our man." — Kingfish [04:17]

2. The Idea to Marry Off Andy

[04:25–07:13]

• Kingfish consults Amos about Andy’s marital status, suggesting it’s Andy’s time to settle down. Amos agrees it could benefit Andy.

• Kingfish enlists Amos to gently persuade Andy, saying:

  "Why don’t you have a heart-to-heart talk with him? It’s for his own good." — Kingfish [05:40]

• Amos, supportive, agrees to nudge Andy toward marriage.

3. Andy’s Reluctance and the Setup

[07:13–09:42]

• Andy is skeptical about taking on marital responsibilities, citing independence and humorously dubious benefits.

• Kingfish tries to “casually” introduce the idea, positioning Juliet as his new secretary.

• Kingfish attempts some reverse psychology, presenting Juliet as wealthy and thus not suitable—ironically increasing Andy’s intrigue:

  "She’s gonna be too proud to let her husband work. You couldn’t stand that, Andy." — Kingfish [09:17]
  "Well, I can force myself, maybe." — Andy [09:26]

• The setup concludes with Juliet being introduced to Andy under the guise of Kingfish’s new secretary.

4. Andy and Juliet Meet

[09:42–11:06]

• Sparks (and confusion) fly as Andy turns on the charm with Juliet. They banter and agree to spend the afternoon together:

  "You mind if I skip right over to Juliet stuff and call you honey?" — Andy [10:13]
  "Well, I don’t know you very well, but I suppose it'd be all right." — Juliet [10:22]

5. Andy’s Doubts and a Visit to the Psychiatrist

[11:06–18:41]

• Despite the pleasant afternoon, Andy confides to Amos that he’s unsure about getting married, admitting to a lack of confidence.

• Amos suggests seeing a psychiatrist, leading Andy to Dr. Barrymore.

• The psychiatrist’s segment is filled with dry humor and psychological jargon:

  "I don’t examine the body, I examine the mind." — Dr. Barrymore [12:53]
  "A phobia such as yours, a fear of women, very often dates back to childhood." — Dr. Barrymore [13:44]

• Dr. Barrymore concludes Andy's main issue is not women, but "economic psychosis"—he fears the financial cost of marriage:

  "Everything you do or say is motivated by the thought of the almighty dollar. Even marriage." — Dr. Barrymore [17:57]

• The doctor’s own momentary loss of temper is a comic highlight:

  "You know, I almost got excited just then." — Dr. Barrymore [17:03]

6. The Surprise Engagement and the Big Reveal

[20:12–24:28]

• Andy and Juliet apparently get engaged and plan to surprise Kingfish with the marriage license.

• Kingfish and Sapphire, staging a demonstration of married bliss, fumble under the pressure. The couple bickers, undermining their intended example:

  "I don’t want no back talk from you," — Kingfish [23:02]

• The engagement announcement causes chaos as Andy and Juliet immediately begin quarrelling over household responsibilities, dissolving their wedding plans.

  "My understanding of married life is that the wife is supposed to love, honor, and do the heavy lifting." — Andy [24:14]

• The fallout exposes Kingfish’s agency scheme and the $50 marriage "fee." Both Andy and Juliet renounce the engagement:

  "Andrew Hog Brown, I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth." — Juliet [24:37]
  "Ah, that last remark settles it. I don’t want to marry you now." — Andy [24:43] "You ain’t nothing but a big bum!" — Juliet [25:43]

7. Final Comedic Notes

[26:06–26:44]

• As Andy and Juliet storm out, Kingfish, ever the optimist (or opportunist), muses:

  "Listen to them fight, boy. The way it's going out, I think they would have made an ideal married couple." — Kingfish [26:06]

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Memorable Quotes by Timestamp

• [04:17] Kingfish: "We always lands our man."
• [09:26] Andy: "Well, I can force myself, maybe."
• [10:13] Andy: "You mind if I skip right over to Juliet stuff and call you honey?"
• [12:53] Dr. Barrymore: "I don’t examine the body, I examine the mind."
• [17:57] Dr. Barrymore: "Everything you do or say is motivated by the thought of the almighty dollar. Even marriage."
• [23:02] Kingfish: "Well, look now, honey, all I asked to do was to move the chair over here. I don’t want no back talk from you."
• [24:14] Andy: "My understanding of married life is that the wife is supposed to love, honor, and do the heavy lifting."
• [24:37] Juliet: "Andrew Hog Brown, I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth."
• [26:06] Kingfish: "Listen to them fight, boy. The way it's going out, I think they would have made an ideal married couple."

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Important Segments by Timestamp

• [00:21–04:25] — Kingfish and Juliet’s scheme initiation
• [05:14–07:13] — Amos and Kingfish on the benefits of marriage
• [09:42–11:06] — Andy and Juliet’s comedic first meeting
• [12:36–18:41] — Dr. Barrymore’s psychiatric analysis of Andy
• [20:12–24:28] — Engagement surprise and argument
• [24:28–26:06] — The fallout and comedic resolution

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Tone and Language

The episode is marked by witty back-and-forth, classic miscommunications, and comedic asides. The humor leans on running gags about marriage, money, and Kingfish’s scheming—paired with moments of farcical confusion.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you haven’t heard this episode, expect a playful romp with sharp-tongued banter, classic sitcom misunderstandings, and a satirical look at love, money, and friendship in the Golden Age of radio comedy. The plot’s crescendo—the disastrous engagement party—drives home the timeless humor of mismatched expectations and comic timing that made Amos & Andy legendary.

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Transcript

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[Narrator]

Good evening. The makers of the new Rinso bring you the Amos and Andy show with their guest tonight, the star of the Metro Goldwyn Mayor picture, a guy named Joe, Mr. Lionel Barrymore. Our story opens tonight not with Amos nor with Andy, but with one of their friends, George Kingfish Stevens. The scene is in his office at the Lodge Hall. He's been thinking of how to raise some money to pay some of his personal bills. A stranger is coming into the office.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

What can I do for you, miss?

[Juliet Williams]

My name is Juliet Williams.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah, never heard of you. What'd you want?

[Juliet Williams]

Never heard of me? Why I spoke to you this morning on the phone.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

You got me mixed up with somebody else. Sorry, but I gonna have to ask you to get out now. Cause I got a lot of reporting things on my mind.

[Juliet Williams]

Well, don't you remember I told you over the phone that I was going to the bank and get the money for you?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Look, I ain't got time. Sit down, madam, sit down.

[Juliet Williams]

Well, I hope I ain't got the wrong address. Is this West 135th street or is this East 135th Street?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, which one was it you wanted?

[Juliet Williams]

Well, I wanted West 135th Street.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

This is west. The sun sets right on that window there every day.

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, well then I'm in the right place.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah, you is.

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, well, I guess you just so busy these days that you forgot about my call.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah, that's where the war going on. All my head jammed up and all that.

[Juliet Williams]

Oh yes. Oh, well, now, about the fee I'm to pay you. Do you remember did you say it would be $5 or $10?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Uh, $10. I didn't forget that $10.

[Juliet Williams]

Well now, about the of the money I'm gonna have to pay you. What would you say the whole thing would sum up to?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, It won't be too high and course it won't be too low. Sort of in that neighborhood someplace.

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, well, I figured it'd be $50.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

You hit the right neighborhood.

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, well, that would leave a $40 balance. Now when do I have to pay you this?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, right now would be good.

[Juliet Williams]

Well, I'm certainly not going to pay the balance until you show me some results. Now just exactly what is this $50 going to include?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, tell me what you think that it ought to include. I won't be fair about the thing, you know.

[Juliet Williams]

Well, my cousin came to one of these matrimonial agencies once.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, matrimonial agent, she did?

[Juliet Williams]

Yeah, my cousin said that the ten dollar deposit, the introduction to the man and she paid the balance of the $40 after the wedding.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Wedding? You want to get married, don't you?

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, yes, yes.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

In other words, if I find you a husband, I get the other $40.

[Juliet Williams]

That's right. Now tell me, do you have any legible bachelors in mind? That's my type.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Let me think here a second. I want to kind of go over the list I got in mind here. You want a single man, don't you?

[Juliet Williams]

Well, I want some man a little older than myself that'll make a good husband.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

A good husband. Madam, I think I got just a man for you.

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, well, what's his name?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

His name is Andrew Hogg Brown.

[Juliet Williams]

Well, is he the marrying type?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, he been kind of null and void in the idea. Kind of skirting around the edge a little. But don't worry. The Stevens Matrimonial Bureau has always got ways of outskirting them fellows.

[Juliet Williams]

Yes.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah, we'll be able to swing him around all right. So don't worry, lady, we always lands our man.

[Juliet Williams]

Well, that's very encouraging.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I'll tell you what you do. I want you to come back here at 4:30 tomorrow afternoon. Now look here, you pretend that you gonna be my new secretary. I'll have the man here and in that way, you see, I'll give you what we call a preview of him.

[Juliet Williams]

Okay, I'll be here at 4:30 tomorrow.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, and another thing. Let me warn you that when you see him, you gotta make up your mind fast if he wants a husband. Cause bachelors is going like hotcakes these days. I just can't keep them in stock. Amos, the reason I dropped over here to your flat to see you about the thing that I recused with you over the phone bout you see.

[Amos]

Oh yeah.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I tell you, I think that our friend Andy ought to get married.

[Amos]

Well, you know, King Face, since you talked to me about it, me and Ruby has been thinking it over. We both feel that it would be a good thing if Andy'd get married and settle down.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, now look here, Amos. All of his friends is married. And why can't Andy be in the same mess? I mean, the same happiness that they.

[Amos]

It would be good for him.

[Dr. Barrymore]

All right.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, now listen, Amos, you Is his closest friend. Why don't you have a heart to heart talk with him? It's for his own good.

[Amos]

All right, King Fish, I'll talk to him about it.

[Andy]

But, Amos, what business has I got to take on the responsibilities of a wife?

[Amos]

Well, Andy, it ain't only the responsibilities. There's a lot more to it than that. It's companionship and sociabilities.

[Andy]

Cheers, huh? Yeah.

[Amos]

After all, what do you do with yourself? For instance, in the evening, you go over to the pool room by yourself?

[Andy]

Yeah, that's right.

[Amos]

Yeah, but if you was a married man, you'd go out with your wife.

[Andy]

Yeah, but how does I know I gonna marry a gal that can shoot pool?

[Amos]

I just don't understand, Janda. You always think of marriage like you were stepping off a high cliff. Marriage makes life easy for you. A wife takes care of you. She keeps a nice house for you. She waits on you when you was sick, and she cheers you up when you was down in the dumps.

[Andy]

Yeah, but when does that fur coat stuff begin?

[Amos]

Oh, Andy, all whites ain't that way. I've been married to Ruby for years and I ain't had to buy her a fur coat yet.

[Andy]

Well, you just got a break. Be just my luck to marry the coldest gal in Harlem. I still think being single is the best.

[Amos]

No, Andy, married life is the only thing.

[Andy]

Listen, Amos, a wife is all right for a married man, but not for me. Well, I got your message yesterday to come over here, Kingfish. What you want to see me about? You got new business?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, brother, Anda, I got a little something working on.

[Andy]

Oh, you is, huh? Any chance of me getting in on it, partner?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Dear? Yes, and I see there's a very good chance of you getting in on it. But not to change the subject, it just occurred to me here. Andy, has you ever thought of getting married?

[Andy]

Sure I thought of it. That's why I never got married. Listen here, Amos asked me that same question this morning. What is this?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Marriage week? No, no, no. I guess your friends just got you on the mind. You know, trying to help you. We hate to see you ruining your life as a bachelor.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, forget it. Cause even if I did want to get married, I ain't got no gal to marry.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, there must be somebody that you can marry. Let's think a second. Let's pick a name out of the thin air. Yeah, here's a name floating around in the thin air already. The name is Juliet Williams. Just hit me in the head. The girl is going to Be my new secretary.

[Andy]

Oh, I didn't know you was going to get a secretary. Anyway, I don't want to get married no how.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, maybe I had no business mentioning Ms. Williams name in the first place. The reason that she is going to work here for me is just to, well, give her something to do during the day, you see. No, she wouldn't be right. A marriage never works out right when a wife has got a lot of money of her own.

[Andy]

No marriage, never. What is that?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I say it wouldn't work out and let's change the subject.

[Andy]

Well, as long as we is on the subject, there ain't no use in going to all the trouble of changing it.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, you wouldn't be interested in her. Why would you want to marry a gal like her with a lot of money?

[Andy]

Well.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, that would be awful, Andy. Marry a woman with a lot of dough. Yeah. She gonna be too proud to let her husband work. You couldn't stand that, Andy.

[Andy]

Well, I can force myself, maybe.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, you'd be married to a woman there. She'd go out and buy everything you need for the house. Always buying your clothes, automobiles. You don't want that. No, I tell you, Andy. Oh, come in, Ms. Williams. Come in.

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, hi, Mr. Stevens.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Andy, this is my secretary, Ms. Williams.

[Andy]

Hello.

[Juliet Williams]

Hey, Sam. So nice to meet you.

[Andy]

Yeah, nice to meet you too. Here, take this chair. This is a nice soft one.

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, thank you.

[Andy]

It's a little warm in here. Wouldn't you like to take off your pocketbook? I mean, your coat.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I wonder if you folks would excuse me. I got some things to tend to. I'll be back.

[Andy]

Yeah, go right ahead, kingfish. Excuse me, Ms. Williams. You mind if I skip right over to Juliet stuff and call you honey?

[Juliet Williams]

Well, I don't know you very well, but I suppose it'd be all right.

[Andy]

And would you mind if I skip right over the Ain't you cute stuff and told you that I was crazy about you.

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, that sure sound nice, all right. But I hardly know you, Mr. Brown. Tell me what business you in.

[Andy]

Let's give that to. Listen, honey, what is you doing this afternoon?

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, I ain't got no plans at all.

[Andy]

Oh, boy, that's swell. Look, it's such a beautiful day out. Let's me and you take a walk together and drop into your bank and meet some of the fellows.

[Amos]

What's the matter, Andy?

[Andy]

Oh, it's just no use, Amos. I spent the whole afternoon and evening with that gal Juliet. And when it was all over, I knowed I couldn't marry her.

[Amos]

Yeah, well what happened to change your mind?

[Andy]

Well, just between the two of us, Amos, sometimes I lose confidence in myself. You know what? One time I think, yeah, I will get married. And the next time no.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Uh huh.

[Andy]

Every time I think about it my head starts swimming round.

[Amos]

You know, you ought to go to see some doctor that does just that kind of thing with your head.

[Andy]

What kind of doctor is that?

[Amos]

I think they call him a psychiatrist or something like that.

[Andy]

Yeah, but where could I find one of them? Sci fi.

[Amos]

Well there ought to be a lot of them in the city. I tell you what, maybe we could find one here in the classified telephone book. I don't know how to spell it though.

[Andy]

Well look under the S's, you're bound to hit it.

[Narrator]

As we join the boys now we find Andy just entering the office of a psychiatrist.

[Sapphire]

Mr. Brown, Dr. Barrymore is ready to see you.

[Andy]

He is, huh? I can come back some other time if he busy.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Oh no, please come in now Mr. Brown.

[Juliet Williams]

Step this way.

[Andy]

Yes ma'. Am.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Come in Mr. Brown.

[Andy]

Oh yes, yes, yes. You want me to take off my shirt?

[Dr. Barrymore]

No, there'll be no need for that. I don't examine the body, I examine the mind.

[Andy]

Oh, well then I'll just take off my hat.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Sit down, sit down. Tell me Mr. Brown, is this your first visit to a psychiatrist?

[Andy]

Yes sir.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Well then you may or may not know just what psychiatry is. It's a method of analyzing the content and mechanism of a person's mental life for the purpose of psychotherapy.

[Andy]

Oh yeah, yes, that's what I figured it was.

[Dr. Barrymore]

What is your mental trouble Mr. Brown?

[Andy]

Well sir, close as I can figure the thing out, it might be that I is getting scared of getting married.

[Dr. Barrymore]

That makes it pretty obvious then that you have a fear of the opposite sex. But of course, we must find the cause before we can find the cure.

[Andy]

Yes sir.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Now a phobia such as yours, a fear of women, very often dates back to childhood.

[Andy]

Oh no sir. Doctor, you're on the wrong track there. I never run around with women when I was a child.

[Dr. Barrymore]

I didn't mean that. What I am trying to find out is were you interested in any little girls when you were say, five or six years old?

[Andy]

Five or six? Yes sir, there was one pretty little girl too, had pigtails on her head.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Now we're getting someplace. Do you remember the little girl's name?

[Andy]

Uh, no sir. You see I didn't start carrying no address book till I was nine.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Well tell me more about this little girl.

[Andy]

Well of course that was a long time ago and I don't remember too much about it.

[Dr. Barrymore]

When you used to meet her and see her do you remember if you were calm or were you shy and bashful or did you tremble in her presence?

[Andy]

Well, seems to me I've done a little shaking.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Now tell me, were you in love with this little girl?

[Andy]

Me? In love with that little squirt?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

A little.

[Dr. Barrymore]

I'll make a note of that.

[Andy]

Well Doctor, this seemed kind of silly though talking about when I was a kid. And besides that is kind of embarrassing.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Mr. Brown, the practice of psychiatry often seems silly to the layman but it's these little things that date way back that often have a bearing on their current problems. Now you take my own case for instance. At one time I was a very nervous, excitable person. The least thing set me off. I went to another psychiatrist to find out the reason for it. I myself was asked seemingly ridiculous questions. But we discovered that like in 90% of all mental disturbances it dated back to my childhood. Yes, it all had to do with the grammar school teacher who disliked me intensely.

[Andy]

Oh sure enough, yes.

[Dr. Barrymore]

But now since I know what the cause of the trouble was I'm a different man. I'm calm and placid. I don't get excited anymore. I'm always able to control myself. So you see Mr. Brown.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Dr. Barrymore.

[Dr. Barrymore]

But Mr. Clinton is on the phone. Well you didn't tell him I was here, did you?

[Sapphire]

Yes I did.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Of all the stupid things I have. How many times I have to. And I don't want to talk to him.

[Dr. Barrymore]

The doctor don't talk to me. There are a few things I wish you'd get through that thick skull of yours.

[Juliet Williams]

But what will I tell him?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Tell him what I told you to get out of here.

[Andy]

How long has you been cured Doctor?

[Dr. Barrymore]

You know I almost got excited just then.

[Andy]

Yes, you come close to it all right.

[Dr. Barrymore]

But now let's get back to your case. Another method we use to analyze mental conflicts is through the interpretation of your dreams. There we delve into the subconscious. Tell me, do you ever dream?

[Andy]

Once in a while, mostly at night.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Well for instance, what did you dream last night?

[Andy]

Last night? Let me see. Last night? Oh yeah, yeah, I remember. I remember I dreamed that I met a good looking gal and I took her out walking. Oh she was swell. She told me she was crazy about me and she wanted me to buy her a diamond wristwatch.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Did you buy it for her?

[Andy]

Oh sure. I go hog wild in my dreams.

[Dr. Barrymore]

I am very Familiar with the character of that type of dream. Mr. Brown, from what you've told me, the thing that's troubling you is very obvious. You have what we call an economic psychosis. Everything you do or say is motivated by the thought of the almighty dollar. Even marriage. The one thing that's kept you from becoming a married man is the fear. Not of a woman worming away into your affection, but of her worming away into your wallet. Mr. Brown, don't waste your life. You find some nice girl and get married.

[Andy]

Yes, thank you, doctor. Thank you. I appreciate this advice and I'll be running along right now.

[Dr. Barrymore]

All right, all right. Goodbye. Goodbye. And I hope you take my advice. Forget the extra money that a wife might cost you. Forget about this money psychosis. Money isn't everything, you know. It's nothing. That door right there, Mr. Bar. And on the way out you can pay the nurse.

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[Andy]

Pay. But doctor, how about this money psychosis

[Dr. Barrymore]

that will leave you as soon as you give the nurse the $5.

[Andy]

Goodbye. Juliet, my darling, how do it feel to be engaged and have a marriage license already?

[Juliet Williams]

Oh Andy dear, I'm so thankful.

[Sapphire]

I don't know what to say. To think that we's gonna get married.

[Andy]

Yes, honey, and we is going to be the happiest little couple in Harlem. Tomorrow we'll go out to the real estate office and see if we can't find ourselves a funny love net.

[Juliet Williams]

This show is gonna be a surprise to everybody. Even Mr. Stephen. The kingfish don't know we gonna get married, does he?

[Andy]

No, no, I ain't told us all. The Kingfish don't know nothing about her. And he has done asked us to come up to his house tonight. Maybe we'll tell him then.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Listen now honey, just take it easy now. Andy and Juliet is gonna be here any minute. Is you got everything straight?

[Sapphire]

Well, all I know George is what you done splain to me. Me and you Is supposed to act like the happiest married couple in Harlem.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah, that's right. Now you got it. Now, you see, honey, the reason is.

[Amos]

Andy.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I gotta explain this to you so you know what I'm talking about. Andy ain't quite made up his mind yet. All he needs, and I know the boy well, you know, all he needs is just a little more convincing and then he'll prepose marriage to this gal.

[Sapphire]

Oh, yeah. And you think that by having Andy and the gal here tonight, that that's gonna do the trick?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, yeah. Ain't no two ways about it. And another thing, this is our only chance to get the $40 balance from the gal. If I can just get Andy to pre pose to her and marry her, we gets to 40 smackers. Now all he gotta do is to see the beauties of married life. Honey at home.

[Sapphire]

Say, maybe that's them now.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah. Now, don't forget, honey, be sweet to me and I'll be sweet to you right back.

[Sapphire]

Okay, George.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, hello there, Juliet. Hello there, Brother Andy. Come in.

[Andy]

Hello, Kingfish. Hi there.

[Juliet Williams]

Good evening, Mr. Stevens.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Sapphire, sweetheart, the guest has arrived.

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, has he, angel?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yes, he is, darling.

[Andy]

Well, hello, Sapphire.

[Sapphire]

Hello, Andy.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Darling, dear, this is Juliet Williams.

[Juliet Williams]

I'm pleased to meet you.

[Sapphire]

Same to you, George. Darling has done told me all about you.

[Andy]

Everything is going all right here, Aunt Kingsley.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Me and the little woman here is just up to our ears in love and affection. Oh, yes, Brother Andy, this is married life for you.

[Sapphire]

It sure is. Let's all go in the parlor.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yes, honey. Come on. Right this way, folks. Angel, Darling, will you bring that big comfortable chair over in this part of the room for Andy?

[Sapphire]

Yes, dear.

[Andy]

Sapphire. Can I help you there, sir?

[Sapphire]

No, thank you, Andy. George. What's the matter with you, Heffin?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, look now, honey, all I asked to do was to move the chair over here. I don't want no back talk from you,

[Juliet Williams]

fellow. Why don't you help him, Mr. Stevens?

[Andy]

Kingfish, I want to tell you something. Me and Juliet has got a big surprise for you.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Yeah? Well, I'd like to hear that. Tell me about it, Brother Andy. What is it?

[Andy]

Where is that thing? Oh, here, here. Look at there, folks. Look at there. A marriage license.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

A marriage license.

[Andy]

Yassir.

[Juliet Williams]

Me and Andy's gonna get married tomorrow. Ain't it wonderful?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, well, well. Congratulations. Congratulations. Put it back.

[Juliet Williams]

Oh, yes.

[Sapphire]

I'm so happy for both of y'.

[Andy]

All.

[Sapphire]

Congratulations.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, Andy, you has made me the happiest man in the world. Oh, honey, will you please bring that big comfortable chair over here for Andy and his bride.

[Sapphire]

What's the reason you can't do it?

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, now listen. I done ask you to do it and I don't want no back talk. Bring the chair over here, sweetheart.

[Sapphire]

Look here, you lazy good for nothing fun.

[Juliet Williams]

Bring it over yourself. I agrees with you, Ms. Stevens. A husband ought to do them things.

[Andy]

Hold it. Hold it right there, honey.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Hold it.

[Andy]

Wait a minute. That is strictly a wife's work.

[Juliet Williams]

Now, is these the things you expect me to do, Andy, when we's married?

[Andy]

Listen here. My understanding of married life is that the wife is supposed to love, honor and do the heavy lifting.

[Juliet Williams]

Well, if that's what you think.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Wait just a minute now. We have everybody calm down here. Let everybody just kind of take it easy.

[Andy]

Folks.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

I just can't afford to have nothing to happen to this wedding if you

[Juliet Williams]

expect me to do the work around. I'm a love nest. Andrew Hog Brown, I wouldn't marry you if you're the last man on earth.

[Andy]

Ah, that last remark settles it. I don't want to marry you now.

[Juliet Williams]

I don't want to marry you neither.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Well, now, wait just a minute, folks. Listen, you can do this to me, Mr. Stevens.

[Juliet Williams]

You can keep the $10 deposit. This is the last time I'll ever try to get a husband through a matrimonial agent.

[Andy]

Hey, what do all this mean?

[Juliet Williams]

Well, it means that I was paying Mr. Stevens $50 to get me a husband.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, you, you. Wait, wait, wait. Now, now, now, wait a minute.

[Dr. Barrymore]

Wait a minute.

[Andy]

Now, wait a minute yourself.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Now, wait, look here.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's great, that.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Wait just a minute.

[Andy]

Wait a minute yourself.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Just let me explain.

[Andy]

Now let me explain it to you. You see, I know I ain't gonna marry her.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Now, now look here. You see, and she gave me $10 already. But believe me, Andy, I was only doing the whole thing for your happiness, not for the $40 balance.

[Andy]

Oh, that's great. Now I know I ain't gonna marry at all.

[Juliet Williams]

I feel the same way about it, too.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Oh, Andy, look here, you sure you don't want to try it?

[Andy]

I'll split the $40 with you.

[Sapphire]

Look there, Josh, why don't you mind your own business?

[Andy]

Now wait a minute. Wait a minute, everybody. Here, let me tell Juliet something here.

[Juliet Williams]

Andy, you keep your big mouth shut. You ain't nothing but a big bum. And I'm going to get out of here right now and I never want to see you again.

[Andy]

You can't get out of here too quick for me. And in case you don't know where the door is. Come on, I'll open it for you.

[Juliet Williams]

You don't have to open it for me.

[George Kingfish Stevens]

Listen to them fight, boy. Listen to that. Yeah. The way it is going out, I think they would have made an ideal married couple.

[Narrator]

Join us again next week at this same time for the Amos and Andy show, at which time Amos and Andy will have as their guest the motion picture comedian, Ms. Spring Byington. Our program is shortwave to our armed forces overseas, wherever they may be. We want to thank Lionel Barrymore for appearing with us tonight. Mr. Barrymore may be heard in his own radio program, the Mayor of the town over another network on each Wednesday evening. For Renzo, this is Harlow Wilcox speaking for all of us and bidding all of you a pleasant good night.

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